THIRTEEN
Christina paced the lounge in her Dad's house still reeling from the figure she'd seen on the street. "Castiel was right. They're trying to get to DJ through me."
But her father frowned, "Why would Castiel return him if there was still a risk of him being taken?"
"They don't want him anymore." He replied, appearing from nowhere.
She frowned, "They were after me?"
"It seems that way." He replied.
"Why? What use am I to them? I can't give them anything. I have nothing they could need."
"Your visions could prove useful to them."
"Then why were they after DJ?"
"He has the power to change the course of the future."
"How?"
"His ability to protect could be very powerful to them or very damaging. They want to encourage him to fight with them and not against them."
"He's six months old." Dean reminded him.
He acknowledged his comment with a nod as he continued. "They know he'll be protected so they seem to have formulated a plan that includes Christina instead."
"So what do we do?" Sam asked the angel.
She gulped, superseding his question with her own. "Can they take my visions?"
"It would almost certainly result in your death." The angelic male announced.
But she wasn't scared. If she was protecting her son, she was prepared to die. "Then let them come for me. They can have whatever they want, so long as they leave DJ alone."
"It may not be that simple." Castiel said. "If they have you they might still come for him."
"Then what are our options?" Dean asked, suddenly hit with the apprehension of losing his family.
"We take them and hide them."
"Or?" Christina asked, disliking the idea of running away.
But Dean was astonished. "There is no 'or' option CJ. If you have to hide in the waiting room in the sky in order to keep you both safe, we take it."
"I'm not going to run away like a frightened child Dean. If these demons want me, let them try and take me."
"No."
She raised her eyebrows, "No? I'm sorry, when did this become your decision?"
"Since it's been a year since you went on a proper hunt. Do you remember what happened the last time you tried to play the hero? You ended up half dead in hospital."
"I'm fully aware of what happened." She shouted in his face. "I look at the scars every single day."
"Then don't be stupid. You're not ready for this fight."
"I'm not completely useless Dean. I can fight, I just need to tone up and get back in the game."
"No. It's not an option. I won't let you get yourself killed trying to prove a point."
"You won't let me? Besides, what makes you so sure I'd get myself killed? I was as good a hunter as you."
"Was CJ, was!"
"I only need to brush up on my hand to hand combat Dean. I'll always be a better shot with a gun than you are."
"Gun's don't work on demons. Or are you so out of practise that you forgot?" He spat back.
In truth he was still mad at himself for leaving her on the street outside her apartment when his gut instinct told him to fight his ground, regardless of how angry it made her. His stupid need to stay on her good side had meant he'd gone against everything his Dad had taught him about family. He was irate that she was almost taken from him because he would've been to blame if they'd got to her before he did. And he was still carrying the guilt that he hadn't been able to prevent DJ being taken, regardless of it being by the good guys.
Castiel frowned and leaned toward Sam, "Are they always like this?" He asked to which he nodded in reply. "Then how did they ever make a baby?"
Sam smirked, "There are two things they do well, this... and that."
"Dean, I don't want to hide away for the rest of my life just in case they come for me."
"Actually it'd just be until after All Soul's Day." Castiel said breaking up the ongoing fight.
"November 2nd?" Sam asked rhetorically.
"Whatever they have planned, their window of opportunity will end at the stroke of midnight."
That date was burned into his skull. It had been when Azazel had killed his mother in 1983 and then Jessica 22 years later in 2005. That was definitely a significant date on his calendar, and the thought that the demons had something planned for Christina on that day in order for them to gain the edge in the fight of good vs. evil only resulted in sickening him.
"So you expect me to go into hiding for over 2 weeks?" Christina asked for clarification.
Bobby had heard enough of her stubbornness. If there was ever a time in her life that he had to be her father, it was now. "Damn it Christina, if I have to drag you there myself, you're going with the angel."
Stunned, she glared at him. No matter how many times her father raised his voice to her, she would never get used to it. She gulped back the shocked tears that welled up in her eyes. "You're not giving me a choice in this?" She challenged him.
"I can't see you hurt again. I won't survive it a second time Princess." He said softly. "It's just a couple of weeks."
She nodded, "Fine. I'll go with Castiel if that's what you all want." She said defeated, bitterly giving up the fight and leaving the room.
= X =
Castiel lingered in the room with Bobby, Dean and Sam. Christina's emotional exit made him relieved that angels didn't have the ability to feel. They were soldiers in a war, and emotions were useless in the fight against his father's enemies. They had to separate themselves because doing what was necessary wasn't always conventional, and feelings made you vulnerable; something God's army couldn't afford to be if they were to do their job. Still, he understood her stubbornness – it seemed that was something she had in common with Dean. Being made to do something when you didn't believe it was right, must be hard. But she was right to agree to follow her father's orders.
"I'm surprised she gave up the fight so easily." Sam voiced his opinion.
"Well, she's not happy about it." Dean piped up.
"When she's done sulking, she'll realise it's the right thing to do." Her father told them.
"Is it?" Sam asked out of nowhere.
"What?"
"Is it the best thing to do?" He repeated his question.
"Of course it is."
"What if we can protect her better?"
Dean stepped toward him, "And by we, you mean you?"
"I can stop any demon."
But his brother shook his head, "No. You told me you were done with that."
"And I am. But I can protect her."
"No Sam. She's better off with Cas."
"You're not even going to consider it?"
"No because we've already got enough going on with Lilith breaking seals without you playing babysitter."
Sam was quiet. Dean was right; they had got enough going on without him being preoccupied with Christina. So he nodded in defeat. "OK."
= X =
Christina was stood over her son's crib watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he slept when Dean found her. He knew she didn't take orders well, especially when they went against her own ideas of what to do, but he knew she'd only agreed to it because of DJ. She wanted to be safe, and if being protected by angels was the only way to ensure his safety, there was no other option for her because she couldn't be separated from him again.
He stood in the doorway taking in the sight of her for a few minutes before entering the room. Reaching her, he looked down at their son and placed his hand at the base of her spine. "You OK?" He asked knowing she'd calmed down from their earlier confrontation.
She gave him a weak nod, "I just wish they'd leave us alone and let me get on with being his mother."
He stroked her back affectionately. "Yeah, I wish you could have that too. But it seems the demons are determined to ruin all our lives."
Silence once again fell on the room as she allowed Dean to comfort her. Only the peace didn't last long before her brain clicked back into gear with hundreds of questions and she had to give them a voice before they drove her insane. "Do you really think that what Cas said is right; that they want DJ to fight in their corner?"
"Hey don't worry about that. They wanted Sam, they didn't get him."
Although his sentence was meant to assure her, she didn't take it as it was intended. She turned to look him in the eye, "Yet."
Usually her comment would've had his back up but he didn't want another fight with her. Instead he flashed her half a smile and encouraged her to his chest. "Come 'ere." He said wedging her under his chin and wrapping his arms around her. "It's going to be alright."
She took the reassurance his embrace provided. This was the reason why she'd fallen in love with him; this was the part of Dean that kept her hoping for a future with him because when he wasn't being such a hard ass, he was the sweetest guy in the world.
= X =
Danny sat in his apartment staring at his phone. It had been over a week since he'd seen Christina and whenever he called she never had time to talk. He knew what that usually meant, he was getting the brush off and he'd thought things were going so well. The two weren't serious about each other – they weren't even really dating – but he felt a connection regardless, even though he suspected many men felt that way about her. Their relationship hadn't developed past holding hands and the occasional make out session, but he didn't feel she was in it like he was and he knew that was because her feelings for Dean weighed heavily around her shoulders. Thankfully he hadn't had any encounters with him since his attempt to stand up to him on her behalf, but he felt his presence in the room whenever they were together. It was his own fault for pursuing her when she'd honestly admitted not being over him, but something told him that he had to know her. Now he was sat like a love sick teenager waiting for her to call and he wasn't even sure she would. He'd seen Dean coming and going from her apartment more than usual lately, which was leading him to conclude that he had something to do with how little contact they were having and he hated that more than actually having no contact with her. He couldn't compete with Dean, he'd made it abundantly clear that he would lose the battle if he chose to pick it and he was right; they had way too much history for him to ever walk away with what he wanted – Christina would chose Dean every time.
With a sigh he dropped his cell phone on the couch next to where he sat and threw himself back in his seat. He was going out of his mind with speculation and over the last 24 hours Christina had ignored his calls. Yet, before he talked himself out of it, he picked up his phone to call her one more time before he went to work.
= X =
Christina breathed in Dean's smell, taking the moment of truce between them and using it to her full advantage. It had been a long time since they'd been this close to each other or this pleasant and she knew it was only because she was leaving for a while that the opportunity had come at all. She was soaked up in the feeling of his arms wrapped securely around her body when he dipped his head to kiss her on her forehead. She wasn't sure why, but she lifted her head in his direction and looked up at the man her heart was consumed by.
"I miss you." She confessed in a whisper.
He knew she didn't mean it literal, that she was simply making reference to the relationship they'd had before, and he moved his eyes to hers. "I miss you too."
The gaze seemed to intensify immediately, their eyes locked in some kind of trance, and his head lowered – her lips his sudden focal point. He wanted to kiss her and she wanted to be kissed. But as he inched closer, deciding to take his opportunity to finally lay his heart on his sleeve, her phone rang.
She jumped out of his arms to grab the phone from her pocket before it woke her son and answered the call, holding his eye. "Danny, hey." She whispered down the line as she made her way out of the room. "Sorry, I've been busy."
Dean looked up at the ceiling as her voice got fainter, "You couldn't cut me one break?" He whispered his question into the air before sighing heavily and leaving the room himself. The moment had gone and he wasn't about to get it back.
= X =
She rolled her eyes as she stood in her old bedroom with the phone pressed to her ear. There had been a definite connection between her and Dean before Danny had interrupted and she couldn't believe his call had come when it had. She paced back and forth. She wanted to get off the phone and see if there was a way of getting that moment back, but she knew it had already passed, which made her angry.
She sighed down the line, "I'm sorry Danny, but this just isn't going to work." She blurted out of the blue.
"What isn't?" He asked knowing exactly what she meant.
"I can't be with you. I doubt I'll ever be able to be with anyone that isn't Dean. So I think its best that we just end whatever it is we've got going on here."
The mention of her ex instantly put his back up, "You've barely give it a chance."
In turn, his aggression made her defensive. "Do you want to know what I was doing when you called?"
"What?"
"I was about to kiss Dean, and that's why we have to end it because you're not him, and I want him." She told him, not thinking how it came across. She had to be straight with him, and it had taken Charlie showing up to make her realise she wasn't being honest with herself. All of her relationships had been about finding a substitute for Dean, but there was no way anyone was going to fill that void no matter how long she looked because there was only one man for the job.
He was stunned. He'd known she was hung up on the Winchester man when they'd first met for coffee – she'd been upfront with him about that – but after all the time they'd spent together he thought he was making an impact too. Although it seemed that wasn't the case.
He cleared his throat so as not to emulate too much heartache because he knew it wouldn't help the situation. "Well I guess that's that then."
"I'm sorry Danny, but we can still be friends."
His eye roll went unseen. Friends, he thought. Her suggestion had been nothing more than a kick in the teeth. Why would he want to be friends when he'd had a taste of something more? Still, his presence in her life might make Dean uneasy and at this point it was all he could think about.
He forced a smile so she could hear it in his voice, "Yeah, I'd like that."
= X =
All the men in the lounge looked up when Christina walked in the room with DJ in her arms. She flashed the males of her life a glance in turn and settled her gaze on Castiel. "I'm ready, I've just got to say my goodbyes." He nodded, giving her the go ahead. She sighed as she turned to her father. "Take care of yourself while I'm gone old man. I don't want to come back to find you've done something reckless, OK?"
He nodded and stepped forward to embrace her in a hug. "I'll be right here waiting when you get back."
Tears welled up in her eyes. Even though she wasn't leaving forever, somehow it felt like it. As Bobby broke away from her, he took DJ from her arms.
"Alright little guy, you take care of your mom while you're gone." He said for effect, knowing he couldn't understand.
Christina turned to Sam. "Can I talk to you in the kitchen?"
"CJ, there's no need..." He started.
But her tone insisted. "Please?"
He threw a look at his brother and followed after her into the other room where they could have some measure of privacy.
She looked up at him. She could barely believe she'd seen the future she had for him, he looked so angelic. But the image was still printed strongly in her memory and she had to try and give him the tools to prevent it.
"You remember when you asked me what I saw in my vision, in the diner, the night Dean got back?" She asked, causing him to nod encouraging her to continue. "It was all kinds of bad. But somehow it started between you and your brother, so promise me – whatever happens – that you'll make an effort to keep things right between you. If you're united and strong they can't win."
He frowned, "You're talking like you're not coming back."
She cast a glance to the angel. "They're good protectors I guess but if the demons want me so bad, I bet they'll stop at nothing to get what they need." She said looking back at him. "Promise me you'll take care of your brother, and yourself."
He nodded, "I promise." He said enveloping her like her father had before returning to the lounge and taking DJ from Bobby.
Christina took a deep breath. This was the goodbye she wasn't looking forward to. It was the goodbye that wouldn't actually count for anything because she carried him everywhere with her. "Dean." She called to him, her voice breaking with emotion.
He walked over not wanting to hear the departure speech from her because if he had to march into Heaven himself to fetch her, she was coming home. He gulped back the emotion rising in his throat as he stopped in front of her, "CJ..." He started to stop her. But she wasn't about to be deterred.
"For once in your life Winchester try not to control every damn thing and just let me do this." She scolded him lovingly forcing him to purse his lips together.
"I don't need to hear any just in case speech CJ, you're going to be back here before you know it."
His resistance to hear goodbye made her smile as tears formed in her eyes. "I love you much more than you will ever know, sometimes more than you deserve, and – even though we're not together – I don't regret a single minute I spend loving you." She said as her tears spilled onto her cheeks. She lifted a hand to the side of his face and gently placed it at his jaw. "You're a good man Dean Winchester, don't you let anyone ever make you believe otherwise because it's that belief that will help you win."
He reached for her hand and removed it from its position, "You're coming back CJ." He insisted.
She broke her eyes from his and they dropped to the floor as her emotions got the better of her. But she nodded, "I just needed you to know."
"And I understand, but don't talk like I'm never going to see you again – I'm going to see you again."
She wiped away her tears, "I hope so." She whispered.
Reaching out, he lifted her chin so she was looking him in the eye, "And I'm going to be here waiting for both of you when you get back." With his last words, Dean walked over to collect his son from his brother. "Daddy's going to miss you little man. But me, Grandpa and your Uncle Sam have some things we've got to do. You're going to be safe with Castiel, and I'll see you in a few weeks OK." He said kissing the boy's forehead. "I love you."
= X =
Christina couldn't help the feeling of dread that washed over her when Castiel placed two fingers on her forehead. It felt more like she was being sent to her doom instead of her saviour, which had been the reason she hadn't agreed to it right away. Her gut instinct told her their solution was going to be just the opposite. Ultimately she trusted Castiel, but she'd seen enough corruption to know that it could run through Heaven as well as Hell – if she was to believe that Ruby had changed allegiance.
When she heard the angel speak she opened her eyes to find she wasn't in her Dad's house anymore, instead she stood in a white filled room with gold mouldings on the wall.
"Seems you're the best way to travel." She told him taking a look around her secret hideout.
It was blinding white, angelic clean – much cleaner than any human could get close to and it made her uneasy. It was so pristine, so surgical, that she wasn't sure she was going to be able to make it like home for her stay. She looked down at her son in her arms and back to the angel.
"I really appreciate this Cas, but I don't think I can stay here. It's too bright. I'm getting a headache."
He looked about the room in wonder, "This room is standard."
"And for angel eyes, I'm sure it's normal but my retina is starting to burn. Do you have anything with a dimmer switch?"
Again, he reached up to touch her forehead and when she opened her eyes, she was stood in her apartment. She frowned. "You've brought me home?"
"No. I've just moved you to a bigger room and made it look like your apartment."
She smiled, "Thank you Castiel."
= X =
Dean dropped the book he was reading from to his lap and sighed long and hard into the air meaning it didn't go unnoticed. But he didn't care that his expression had caught the attention of the men he shared the room with. She'd barely been gone five minutes and he already missed her. Even though they hadn't spent that much time together of late, just knowing she was within a ten minute radius made him feel better. So – although he knew she was with Castiel – not knowing exactly her proximity to him made him feel like he was missing a piece of himself, and that's how he knew he still loved her. But he'd been too proud to tell her before she'd left, wanting to say it under less dramatic circumstances so she didn't think he was saying it out of desperation or to make her feel better and he knew her well enough to know that's how she would've spun it. Still, he wished he'd given her an indication.
Bobby looked across at him, "What is it boy? Spit it out."
"Do you think she knew?" He asked, suddenly not caring that his heart was escaping onto his sleeve.
Sam's glare softened. He knew exactly what he was talking about. "She's always known." He said, trying to make him feel better.
His brother shook his head, "I don't know, I've been pretty cruel."
"And you think that matters?"
He raised his eyebrows, "Maybe not before. But now-"
"Trust me, she knew exactly what you were doing when you told her you didn't want her and she knew it was only to protect her."
"Yeah, and it didn't work."
"That's not your fault Dean."
"It feels that way."
"Boy, you shouldn't put all this on yourself. CJ knew exactly what she was doing when she got involved with you." Bobby assured him. "And she wouldn't have it any other way."
"I just hope she doesn't live to regret it."
Sam sighed softly, reacting to his brother's anguish, "She's safe with Cas."
= X =
Once Castiel had left her and DJ alone, Christina took a proper look around. Everything was in exactly the right place and it was decorated the same. She couldn't find one thing out of place, and it put her at ease. The only thing that was missing was the view from her apartment window. There were no windows; there wasn't even a front door, just walls. However, it was familiar and she felt better about being cooped up there for the better part of three weeks. She had to face it, she'd stayed in worse places and this was everything home was – except it was far away from her father and the Winchesters.
It was impossible to prevent the thoughts of Dean that appeared immediately. She couldn't get the look in his eyes during their goodbye out of her mind. It was almost as if he was hiding something from her in order for her to go through with her promise to leave with Castiel, and she couldn't shake the feeling. She ran over their conversation and her feeling of dread returned. Did he know something she didn't? Had he insisted he would see her again so emphatically because he knew he wouldn't? Was she going to die at the hands of the angels while she believed she was being protected? Or was she simply being paranoid because she didn't like the idea of hiding instead of standing her ground?
She grabbed her cell phone from her pocket and checked her signal, but was disappointed to find she had no reception. She held it up above her head and checked again, still nothing. So she moved about the room, until she had enough coverage that she could make a call and ironically it was near where the window should have been that she found it. She hit speed dial for her Dad and waited, pleading that her phone would hold out for the call.
Three rings and he answered. "Hello, Dad?" She spoke quickly, worried that she wouldn't have time to ask her questions.
"Who is this?" She heard her father's voice ask down the line.
"Dad, it's me."
She could hear the deep frown etched on his brow. "CJ?"
"Dad, can you hear me?"
"I can't- You're breaking up. What's wrong?"
Suddenly the phone cut out and Christina looked at it with a frown. Instantly she looked up to the ceiling. "Castiel! Get down here!" And before she had time to blink he was stood in front of her.
"You bellowed." He said in his usual monotone voice.
She pointed her phone at him, "What the hell is going on? I just tried calling my Dad and he couldn't hear me."
He glanced at the object in her hand, "Cell reception up here is somewhat sketchy."
"I'm higher than the damn clouds; I should have the best reception in the world." She demanded.
But despite her raised voice, the angel was serene. "It doesn't work like that."
"Then tell me how you expect me to contact them if I have no signal."
"You don't. You're in hiding and that means no contact."
Suddenly they weren't the only ones in the room, but another being had appeared and she could only assume he was another angel.
"Castiel, what is going on here?" He asked.
"This is Christina Singer. She and her son needed protection from the demons..." He started to explain.
"You brought her here?" He questioned outraged.
"I was told to make sure she was safe."
He seemed to become instantly angry, something she had never experienced from an angel before. "This is not acceptable. She has to go back; you have to take her back."
"Zachariah..."
"Now Castiel!"
"If the demons get to her it would almost certainly mean we'll fail to stop Lilith."
"Cas, who is this?" Christina asked, not liking the direction of the conversation.
"He's my superior." He answered.
"And as such I order you to send her back." Zachariah told him.
"I promised the Winchesters..."
"Fine, you won't do it, I will." And with that he reached out and touched her forehead with his fingers.
= X =
Christina opened her eyes with a groan as she felt a blinding pain in her skull, like she'd been hit with a hammer. Slowly she sat up and looked around the room to find she was back in her apartment. Her brain was fuzzy so she rubbed at her head to try and force some clarity but there were gaps in her memories, like they had gotten jumbled somehow. Slowly she climbed off the bed. She remembered being taken by Castiel to make sure she was safe, but she had no recollection as to what she was being saved from. She could see the face of the angel that had been furious when he'd discovered her and insisted on her return to her home, but his name escaped her. And she felt like she was missing something, but she couldn't place her finger on what that something was.
She made her way through the apartment and frowned when she saw evidence of a child. She had no memory of knowing a child, let alone having one. Still, she made her way to the front door and left her apartment.
As she stepped out onto the street, she knew exactly where she was and where she needed to go in order to get to her father's. But there was definitely something wrong, and she hoped that Bobby would have the answers to put it right.
= X =
Castiel looked at the 6-month-old child and back to his superior. "What should I do with him?"
"He stays here." Zachariah responded.
"You've sent his mother back, why?"
"It's not up to you to question orders Castiel." He reminded him. "The boy is innocent and defenceless. We'll need him if things don't go to plan."
= X =
It didn't take her long to get to the Salvage Yard but as she made her way toward the house the Impala '67 parked out front caught her eye. Nice car, she thought looking it over. She hadn't seen the vehicle before so she knew it didn't belong to her father, but she didn't know all his hunter friends so she just assumed it belonged to one of them.
Walking in the back door, she called out to him and heard three sets of footsteps on their way to her. She smiled as she laid eyes on Bobby, as far as she remembered she hadn't seen him for years but the fact she had an apartment around the corner couldn't mean that was correct.
"Hey Dad."
"CJ?" One of the men that had appeared with him said, almost disbelieving it was her.
She moved her eyes to his. He had the clearest green eyes she had ever seen. But she didn't know him. "Who are you?"
Dean frowned and shot a look to Sam and Bobby before shifting his attention back to her. "It's me, Dean."
"Do I know you?"
"You don't remember?"
She sighed, "No. I woke up with a blinding headache and I can't remember some things."
"Where DJ?"
She frowned, "Who's DJ?"
"Your son, our son."
Her eyes dropped to the floor. That's why there had been toys on the floor at her apartment, she was a mother, and that's why she felt like she was missing something. She had a son. But she didn't know where he was.
Bobby made a move toward her. "CJ, what are you doing here?"
"Castiel had to bring me back."
Sam frowned, "Why?"
"He wasn't supposed to take me up there."
"But he was protecting you."
"I'm not supposed to be up there. He sent me back." With desperation etched on her face, she looked up at her father. "Why can't I remember? What's wrong with me?"
He wrapped his arms around her, "It's OK Princess, we'll figure it out."