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A/N: The song used in this chapter is About Today by The National

Chapter Fourteen: Far Away

Today you were far away
and I didn't ask you why.
What could I say?
I was far away.
You just walked away,
and I just watched you.
What could I say?

How close am I to losing you?

Embry POV

I cursed under my breath as I watched her walk off. What the hell was it about her lately that made me say all the wrong things? I'd liked to think that if nothing else, I at least had a little tact, and could stop the outpouring of word-vomit that Quil seemed to fall victim to all the time, but in the past five minutes I'd managed to make her think I thought she was sleeping around and insinuate that she was becoming a bitch.

I could never think that way about her. Bella deserved to rain down a world of hate on everyone, just like Leah, and I knew it wasn't really any of my business what she did with her life now, but it didn't mean I wasn't worried.

Deep down, I knew there wasn't anything going on between her and Paul – nothing like he'd led that old lady to believe, anyway, but there was something they were keeping a secret, something that made them both clam up and get defensive. Each time I'd been phased with him in the past week, I'd seen the trade of good-natured insults they'd had with each other, but when it came to certain moments where they were alone, he'd conspicuously direct his thoughts elsewhere. He was hiding something, and my biggest fear was that he was keeping their – friendship, or whatever it was – a secret, so Jake wouldn't find out. That made me wonder if there was more to it. Imprinted or not, the last person Jake would want Bella getting involved with was Paul. Even Quil had his suspicions, having arrived at Bella's house and interrupting some sort of serious conversation, and when Quil picked up on something, then you knew there was trouble.

Paul was warming to her, I knew that much. The feelings coming off him were ones of fondness and respect. We all knew how he could manipulate girls into doing just what he wanted; it was probably one of the few things he was truly good at and I guess I was worried that after everything that happened in Bella's life lately, she wasn't thinking straight, and maybe he'd gotten to her, too. Going out with the Newton douche was proof enough of that. No way in hell would she give him the time of day in her right mind, and she wasn't fooling anyone.

The night of Bella and Jacob's first date had changed all of our lives. I played the dutiful best friend, offering encouragement and telling him how happy I was that she'd finally come around. Jake was ecstatic. He'd made her a gift – a bracelet with a little charm on it. I could never have done something like that. I couldn't give her presents and we didn't have any private jokes only she would get. It ate me up inside; the knowledge of how perfect they were together, and I told myself that it's what was best for both of them, and they truly deserved each other. I'd pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I'd never be with her, but it somehow gave me comfort that I wasn't alone in that – Jake was going through the same emotions, and although he didn't know how well I empathised with him, we had each other's backs. Now he was the guy to be envious about, the guy who got to hold her and call her his own, and I got to watch from the sidelines, as always. A supporting role in the Jacob Black saga. At least I'd get to see Bella all the time, I told myself. Maybe one day I'd get over her, too.

Then it happened, and everyone was so caught up in their shock and being pleased that Jake had found his other half, that they didn't have to worry about Jake being with the vampire girl, that they forgot about her, but I didn't. I'm ashamed to admit it, but a tiny part of me was happy, just for that split second after finding out. With Jacob out of the picture, maybe she'd give me the time of day, even if I didn't deserve it. She was still ridiculously out of my league, and I was painfully aware that my life wasn't some buddy-movie where the loser got the girl. I just wanted her to be okay, and I wanted her to heal, and maybe she'd let me be around to help her do that.

Then I really thought about things, thought about how she'd been hurt – by imprinting, by a werewolf, and I saw any chance I had with her fly out the window. I knew that's why she'd gone out with Newton. Safety. Fear. Why would she spend any more time around the pack after the very thing we were tore her world apart?

So I kept my distance, talked to her only when I had a real excuse to, and saw her turn into someone I didn't recognise. It was killing me, seeing everything that made her Bella twist and contort into this dark, troubled person who got off on hurting those who cared about her. I hadn't expected her to stay the same, like she seemed to think I did – who could? But this wasn't who she was supposed to be either, and I mostly hated the fact that she was giving into it so freely. It was almost like she was punishing herself, like she thought she was partly to blame for the whole mess and was pushing everyone away because she didn't deserve the comfort. It was totally girl I'd wanted for so long was still in there, somewhere, if she'd just let her free.

After the imprint, she stopped coming to La Push. Who could blame her? I knew better than everyone how soul-crushing it was to watch someone you loved be with someone else. Someone you knew was better for them but you still held out that tiny sliver of hope that you'd still be enough. Melanie had brought out the side of Jake he'd been missing since he phased. He was patient again, and almost care-free. With her by his side, he finally stepped up and took his rightful position as Alpha, and the Pack was stronger than ever. Everybody liked her, and she slotted seamlessly into our dynamic like she was supposed to. Like Bella was supposed to.

Jake put us on round-the-clock patrols of Bella's house. He still loved her, but the romantic feelings were gone, and he just saw her as one of his best friends, and as far as he was concerned, she was still just as important to him and the Pack as ever. He told us that no matter what Bella did, how hard she lashed out, she was to be protected, and her safety was top priority. Before, she'd spent so much time around him and the rest of us that there had been no need for patrols, but she'd kept her distance to the point where she spent most of her time alone or with her human friends, and it just wasn't safe. I hated that she was in danger, and I hated that she even needed bodyguards in the first place, but at least I had an excuse to see her again.

Now this thing with Paul happened, and all expectations I had of Bella living a monster-free life were gone. What the hell was she doing? Was Bella getting involved with another werewolf? The only member of the pack who I knew deserved her less than I did? Maybe I was a loser who didn't know who my father was and was looked down upon by a good eighty per cent of the people on the Rez, but at least I didn't treat girls like crap and think with my dick all the time. Out of all of us she chose this guy? This guy who, yet again, wasn't me?

I got a handle on my thoughts just before I phased in again. Bella had already gotten a head start towards town and I needed to catch up on four legs if I was going to get there quick enough. Jake was phased in already, patrolling the Rez since the morning. As always, he was anxious to know how things with Bella were going.

Anything?

Still no sign of the leech since Quil ran her off. Bella just left for work, I'm headed over that way now.

And... how is she? Any better?

I sighed. I got that Jake was happier than he'd ever been, but he didn't seem to get that just because everything in his life had magically changed, didn't mean the same would happen for anyone else. Bella needed time. She had to sort through all the stuff in her head before she had a hope of getting over all of this.

She's still the same, Jake. I think it's going to be a while before she'll be coming over for tea-parties.

I know that, Em. I just hate that she's struggling with this so much.

How else is she meant to cope? Do you think you could have watched her with someone else?

He thought about that for a second, a brief image of Edward Cullen bringing Bella to prom flashed into his mind before he answered.

I guess not. I just want her to be happy too, you know? It's this huge part of my life I don't get to share with her, and I just wish things weren't the way they are.

Yeah, I know. But you have to accept that she may only be happy again without you in her life.

I knew it hurt him to hear it, but Jake didn't seem to realise that life didn't end up in a neat little bow, where once he imprinted, everyone else's feelings disappeared and Melanie and Bella could be best friends. It was too much to ask of her, and on some level he had to know that.

If that's what it takes, I guess. We just have to keep her safe so she gets to find out for sure.

I couldn't have agreed more.

I did my duty over the next few days. Jake rearranged the schedule again – he liked to give each of us a few days off, so that the complaining would be kept to a minimum, and we could all do some odd jobs around the Rez, both to earn some extra cash and help out those who needed it. Being in the pack didn't leave much time for taking on any other work, so any time I wasn't on Bella duty, I filled my time hanging out with Quil. Things were easier around him, and I didn't feel like I was constantly watching what I said. He'd known for quite some time that my feelings for Bella ran a little deeper than I'd let anyone see, but he never pushed me on it. Emotions weren't really his forte, and he preferred to talk about stupid mundane things that didn't have me scrambling to change the subject.

Well, he usually did.

"There's something weird going on with Bella," he said from his place lounging on the armchair of his living room. We were re-watching Terminator, something we did every summer since we were kids. Jake was usually the third person in the party, but he'd skulked off to do something stupidly sappy with Melanie, so we'd decided to do it without him and invited Seth along instead.

I caught the sponge ball I'd been tossing in the air an looked at him, slightly taken aback that he'd brought her up without preamble. "What do you mean?" I said, wrinkling my nose.

Seth smiled from his place, lying on his stomach on the floor. "Yeah, isn't there always something weird going on with Bella?" he scoffed. Quil shot him a smirk and shrugged.

"Well, yeah, but I mean she's acting extra weird. She started crying and hugged me yesterday."

I raised my eyebrow. That was weird – Bella hadn't exactly been the PDA type... well, ever, and especially not lately. "Did you make her cry?"

He shook his head. "She wasn't sad, it was like she was happy about something, but I have no idea what," he said. "She asked me some weird questions and then got all emotional and told me she was 'thrilled' for me." He frowned in confusion, and Seth and I mirrored his expression.

"What did she ask you about?" Seth enquired, pressing his hands into the floor and moving to sit up.

"Well, she came outside when I was on Bella Watch, she was taking out the trash or something, so I phased back. I wanted to say 'hi', you know? 'Cause it's been a while since I actually talked to her?" I nodded in understanding. Quil had missed hanging out with Bella almost as much as I had, and they'd always got along pretty well.

"Well anyway, she was all stiff with me, at first, and then she asked me how Claire was," he said.

I jerked my head back in confusion. "Claire? Who the hell is Claire?" I asked, really perplexed, and starting to get a little worried.

Quil shrugged. "That's exactly what I said. She got this weird look on her face, and got all confused. She said Claire was Emily's niece... your cousin, Seth? That little kid who came to visit Emily last month?"

Seth nodded. "Yeah, she's like a second cousin or something. Cute little kid, but why would Bella be asking you about her?"

Quil held out his hands helplessly. "Beats the shit out of me. Anyway, when I told her I'd met the kid once, and she was alright, as far as I knew, she started crying and hugged me. She said she was 'thrilled' for me and she knew 'it' wasn't right."

"Knew what wasn't right?" I asked, but Quil just shook his head again.

"I have no idea," he said.

It was probably a good thing I'd seen the movie so many times before, because after that, my thoughts were elsewhere, wondering, worrying, and hoping against hope that the stress and heartbreak hadn't finally gotten to Bella.

A few night later, I was huddled, half asleep outside her house once again. We were in the midst of some sort of storm and I'd managed to find myself a pretty sweet spot under the canopy of trees that held out most of the gushing rainwater. I'd always liked thunderstorms – something about them kind of soothed me, as weird as that sounded. I tucked my paws under my head and closed my eyes, content to stay there, right outside her house for the night. As long as she was near, I knew she was safe, and I wouldn't have any problems sleeping.

My dreams were of her. Fantasies interspersed with memories and I could almost taste her scent – it was everywhere, almost like she was right beside me. All the reasons I wanted her passed through me. Her introverted nature – so many girls got off on seeking attention and acting like one-of-the-guys, but not her. Her intelligence - I'd always found smart girls unbelievably sexy, and Bella's geeky side just enhanced her beauty. How could she be so beautiful, so stunning, and smart to boot? More than that, I truly believed that I could confide anything in her, that she would get me better than anyone, and she'd already shown me that much.

She was humble, too, and worried about everyone but herself when it really counted. I knew It was eating her up inside that we were protecting her like this, that one of us could get hurt keeping her alive. She didn't think she deserved our help. I couldn't think of anyone more deserving. It wasn't Bella's fault she got caught up in this... she just happened to fall in love with the wrong person, and I knew all about that.

The pleasant visions in my head were interrupted by something, the one thing I never wanted to hear. I stood upright, waking up immediately, my eyes searching every window of the house for her, for some sign she was okay, or that I'd imagined what I'd heard, but then I caught sight of her, hands outstretched, banging on the glass.

My heart stilled in my chest when I saw her. Bella was screaming for help.

A/N: Uh-oh... what's going on here?

I hope you guys liked the little insight into Embry's head. As you can see he's a whole tangle of worry, jealousy and love. Those two need to just sit down and talk it all out, don't they?

And what about Quil's imprint? What does that mean?

Let me know what you think :)