A/N: I now have no internet on top of no computer...so that sucks. To add to that, I've been really uninspired as of late. It's a pretty deadly combination. In any case, I already have the next chapter to this pretty much done, so the next time I go somewhere with internet and have my girlfriend's computer, I'll upload that, too. I'm sorry about all this...I just hope you all like this chapter. Enjoy :)

"Do I really have to wear this? It's bad enough that you're calling it 'The Bully Whips' and making me sell out all my friends."

"Yes, Dave, for the thousandth time, you have to wear it," I said, adjusting my beret in my bedroom mirror. "Besides, I think you look sort of cute."

He rolled his eyes. "Great. That's just what I want. Looking cute isn't exactly making me look less like a fag." I shook my head. Dating Karofsky was turning out to be a pain in the ass. All he ever did was complain. "Also, I don't get how this is going to help us win prom king and queen."

"Look, I already have the majority of the jock vote because of you, but Quinn's got a major lock on the rest of the popular crowd."

"Not really," Karofsky said. "I heard some guys say that if he heard 'Vote Quinn Fabray for prom queen' one more time, he was gonna swallow a gallon of bleach."

I nodded. "I was sort of counting on that. Still, I need to get another group, and who better than the freaks and geeks?"

"Do they even go to prom?" he asked. "Who would they go with? Other freaks?"

I shrugged. "Not sure, but you can vote the whole week before the dance, and nerds love to vote for stuff. It makes them feel important."

"Yeah, well, why don't you get your buddy Berry to get the loser vote," he said. "Isn't she their queen or something? Seems a lot easier and less stupid than starting this stupid anti-bullying crap." I groaned. Of course he had to bring up Rachel...and just when I'd gone a whole five minutes without thinking about her.

Rachel had cut off all communication with me. The phone calls, the texts, the stalker visits to my house...it all stopped after that day in the bathroom. I knew what she was doing; she thought if she played hard-to-get, I'd start missing her and want to go crawling back to her. I used to do it to guys all the time. I'd think it was sort of sad and pathetic if it wasn't working so damn well.

"I told you that we aren't talking anymore," I said. "Besides, she's not their queen. Even they hate her, so 'The Bully Whips' is our only option."

"Whatever," he finally said. "Just as long as you stick to your end of the deal."

I nodded. "I only need you until after prom. After that, you can do whatever you want as long as you stay away from Kurt and the rest of the club."

Karofsky sighed. "And you won't tell anyone...about me?"

"Your secret will be safe," I said with a smirk. "Although, I don't know how much longer you'll be able to keep it a secret. You aren't exactly careful with your leering."

"Yeah, well, I didn't really know when I was a kid to practice checking out guys' asses without getting caught," he mumbled out, and I almost felt sorry for him. As much as it was just in my nature to be a bitch, I let that comment slide. "Is it okay if I take off, now? My dad's making spaghetti, and I don't want it to get cold."

"Fine, but we need to start working on a phrase for our campaign next time. I was thinking 'Vote Santofsky' or something like that. Sound good?" I asked with a shit-eating grin.

"I hate you," he said as he walked out the door. I sighed. I couldn't wait to have this stupid fake relationship over as fast as possible. I just hoped that by the time I won prom queen and Dave and I would "break up" that I'd be over Rachel.

Ugh...Rachel. I hated the way she made me feel. Before she came along, I was perfectly fine with just pretending to like whoever I was with at the time. I was okay with faking orgasms and sort of pretending to care about what they did during their day. I was fine with no feelings and no serious attachment. In fact, I was fine as long as I got bling and attention. Now...now, because of these stupid feelings, all I could think about was what Rachel would think about this or that, or what Rachel was doing, or if Rachel missed me as much as I missed her. It wasn't really even about the sex (although, that was a part of it), it was just about being around her.

It was gross how much I cared about her.

The next day went by in a hurry. Karofsky and I officially started The Bully Whips, which ended with us finally unplugging the slushie machines because we couldn't keep up. Figgins wasn't thrilled, but when I made him realize less slushies meant less kids in his office everyday, which meant less work for him, he cooled down a bit. Before I knew it, I was walking to the choir room for glee rehearsal.

Of course, Finn was sitting next to Rachel. He'd been hovering around her like a fucking hawk ever since Rachel had backed off of me. He'd walk her to her classes and her locker, he'd drive her home, he'd sit next to her in all the classes they had together (I heard he'd even convinced a few teachers to change the seating arrangements around so he could sit next to her)...it was annoying. I would've thought that Rachel would've killed him by now for crowding her so much, but she didn't seem to mind at all, which just served to piss me off even more.

On top of that, everyone was convinced they were dating again. I got to hear in several of my classes how great a guy Finn was to date a girl like Rachel...like she was some kind of second-class citizen, and he was some kind of saint for dealing with her. A few people had been throwing their names around for prom court, but I squashed that really quick. Really, all I wanted to do was ask Rachel if it was true, but that would require talking to her, and I wasn't about to do that.

"Santana!" I heard, snapping me out of my thoughts. It was Brittany. "I saved you a seat!"

I smiled and sat down next to her. "You always save me a seat. You don't have to yell."

She shrugged. "You were zoning out, and I just didn't want you to forget. Anyways, Rachel's supposed to be singing her new song today."

"And why am I supposed to care?" I asked Brittany.

She sighed and leaned in closer to me. "I know you feel like you need to lie to everyone else, but you don't have to do that with me. I'm your best friend. You can tell me anything. I don't care if you're gay."

"I'm not having this conversation right now, and I'm especially not having it in the middle of the choir room."

"No one's listening," she said, and I looked around just to make sure. "You've been so sad lately. I mean, you're usually angry and mean, but you're not usually this sad, and I just want you to be happy. If you'd just admit, at least to me, that you're gay and you love Rachel, you might feel better."

I shook my head. "Okay, let's say I am gay...it would change everything. Everyone would look at me differently."

"No one that mattered would look at you differently," she said. "If they did, then they don't matter."

"It's really not that simple, Britt. I can't just...I mean, if I was gay, I couldn't just tell people. What would people think? What would my parents say?"

"I'm not saying that you have to tell the whole world," she said to me. "I'm just saying you should tell a few people here and there. You like girls. Big deal. So do I, and nothing's happened to me. Worst case scenario, and everyone in the world decides to hate you, and Rachel breaks your heart, which she totally wouldn't do, you still have me." She smiled at me, and I gave her a small smile back.

"I...I don't know."

"Just think about it, okay?" I nodded, and that seemed to satisfy her for the moment.

"Alright," Mr. Schuester said, walking in late as usual. "I know we haven't had much luck yet, but we really need to buckle down and think of a set list for regionals. Any suggestions?"

"Rachel and I should sing a duet," Finn immediately said.

"Why, because that worked so well last year?" Quinn said right after him, and for the first time in a while, Quinn and I were on the same side. "At least Sam and I got first place."

"You tied for first," Kurt said. "And I know from my very short stint with the Warblers that they probably have their entire set list already picked out. Blaine will, of course, be singing lead, so it'll be amazing-"

"Yeah, we know you're in love with Blaine and trying to woo him with your shimmy-shoulder mating dance," I said. "It's all you ever talk about."

He glared at me. "My point is that we're going to need something really different to win this year. We can't just have Finn and Rachel stare lovingly into each other's eyes for the entire set."

"I actually have a suggestion," Rachel said, standing up and moving to the front of the room.

"Oh great," Mercedes said. "She's gonna sing another Funny Girl solo."

"While I do think a rendition of My Man would go over quite well with the judges, I have another idea." Rachel took a deep breath. "I propose that we do our own original songs."

All hell broke loose.

"Hell to the no! Mr. Schue, you can't let her do this!"

"Mercedes is right, she's just trying to control us all yet again," Quinn said. "Let's not forget that we've done really well without Rachel singing lead."

"You're not singing again, Quinn," Kurt said. "I think it should be Mercedes and me with the solos. We're the most ignored talents this club has."

"I'm pretty sure Tina's the most ignored talent," Mike said, throwing an arm around his girlfriend. "She should get to sing."

Everyone was yelling over each other when we all heard a loud whistle from the back of the room. It was Puck.

"Look, I know that Rachel gets on everyone's nerves. On more than one occasion, I've thought about putting a bag over her head and calling it a day, but you guys have to admit that she's sort of our star." Everyone started talking again. "Hey! I'm not saying that we're not all awesome. She's just sort of the glue that holds us together. Do you really think we would've made it this far if it weren't for Rachel annoyingly nagging at us to practice all the time? The least we could do is just hear her out."

Everyone settled down, and I was just glad that I hadn't had to say anything.

"Thank you, Noah. I appreciate it, even though most of your compliments were sort of backhanded insults." She took a deep breath. "I've actually written a song that I'd like to submit for consideration, and while my earlier attempts at writing songs were...less that successful, I feel that I've experienced enough angst as of late to give me a new perspective, and-"

"Just sing the damn song!" Puck yelled, and Rachel nodded.

What have I done? I wish I could run.
Away from this ship going under
Just trying to help, hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just want to fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right...

She stared at me through the whole song, and I tried my hardest to not let it look like it was affecting me. She'd written this for me...she felt like she'd messed this up. And she had...sort of...I think. I mean, she'd been the one pushing me to wave a rainbow flag or some shit. She was the one telling me she loved me and making me feel stuff. She was the one who'd made me fall in love with her. This was all her fault.

And yet, I still felt guilty.

Fucking Rachel.

After she was finished singing, everyone started clapping (myself included, no matter how much I wanted my hands to stop).

"So," she finally said after a few seconds, "I think I've made my case."

Mr. Schuester stood up. "Rachel, that song was really good, but I don't know if it's the best idea right now."

Rachel looked heartbroken. "But...It's a good idea. And I worked really hard on that."

"I know, but I don't think we have enough time. We'd have to write at least one more song and figure out all the choreography. It's a lot to do. Plus, it's a big risk to take. The song was good, but I don't know if it was good enough to stand up to the competition. It was a nice thought, but I don't think it'll work. I'm sorry."

I wanted to kill Will Schuester. Why was it that he always decided the worst possible moments not to give Rachel what she wanted? I could tell this meant a lot to her...a lot more than the usual solo, and that was saying something. I was hoping someone would speak up on her behalf. I knew it wouldn't be Puck; he'd already done his good deed for the day, and I'd seen Lauren glaring at him the whole time. I'd expected White-Knight-Hudson to come save the day, but he was just staring at his shoes.

Typical.

All I knew is that it couldn't be me who said anything. I wasn't about to undo all the hard work I'd done to distance myself from her just because she looked like a puppy that had been kicked in the face. I couldn't...I wouldn't...

"I say we do it," I said before I could stop my stupid mouth.

"Santana, while I appreciate you participating, I don't think it's a good-"

"Yeah, well, let me say what I'm gonna say," I snapped with a glare. "Look, it's something that none of the other schools are gonna be doing. We'll get points for creativity or whatever."

"That's true, but it's still a lot to do, and-"

"Oh, please." I was determined not to let Schuester finish a sentence. It served him right for shutting Rachel down like he did. "You're acting like we don't do everything at the last minute every competition. I mean, last year at sectionals, we had to make all our stuff up in an hour."

"That wasn't the same," he said. "That was an emergency."

"And yet, we still won, didn't we?" I said with a smug smile. "Look, as much as I hate to admit it, Kurt's right. The gay ham over at Dalton is really good, despite the fact that he pulls more faces than Stretch Armstrong."

"Harsh," Kurt said, but I ignored him.

"And Aural Intensity are ass kissers. If we wanna beat them and have a shot at nationals, we can't play it safe. We have to do something really different and really good. Rachel's song was both of those things. For the other song, we can just all pitch in and write something together. We'll have plenty of time to get everything done, and we'll actually have a shot at winning."

"The song was really pretty," Brittany said out of nowhere. "It made me wanna die, but in a good way. And it's totally cool that you're saving My Headband for your solo album."

That threw everyone for a few seconds, but Mr. Schuester finally recovered.

"Okay, well, we'll put it to a vote. All those in favor of doing original songs?" My hand flew up, and Brittany's hand went up right behind mine. Artie was in, too. He was turning out to be quite useful.

"Well," Puck said, "it was a good song, and I really wanna win. Plus, if Santana's willing to go along with it, despite the fact that it's coming from Berry, it has to be a fantastic idea." His hand went up (and he shot me a grin and a wink), and so did Lauren's. Everyone else followed that, and Rachel's face lit up. I couldn't help but smile.

"Well, that settles it. Original songs it is. Let's get to it!" Mr. Schuester said with a clap, like he hadn't just been about to shut the idea down. We spent the rest of rehearsal assigning back-up parts for Rachel's solo, and trying to write something for the second song (with mild success...we'd at least decided to sing something about overcoming feeling like losers, so that was something). When rehearsal finally ended, everyone filed out of the room but me, Rachel...and Finn.

"See, I knew that people would like it," he said to her. "You had nothing to worry about. I told you it would work."

"Yeah, Rachel," I said...apparently, I just had absolutely no control over my mouth. "It's a good thing that Finn sat there silently and didn't vote for original songs until we already had majority. He's really such a great support system."

"Santana, don't," Rachel said. "Just...don't."

"What, I pretty much single-handedly got you what you wanted, and I don't even get a thank you?"

"I'm pretty sure it was Rachel's song that did it, Santana," Finn said to me.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm just saying. One of us stepped up to the plate; one of us didn't."

"Finn, can you wait outside?" Rachel asked him. "I'll meet you by your car."

"Sure thing," he said, then he leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. I about lost my lunch.

"So what, are you two dating now?" I asked her, trying so hard to sound like I hadn't been dying to ask her that for days. "You seem pretty chummy lately."

"It's really none of your business, is it?" she snapped. "We aren't friends. We aren't even occasional verbal sparring partners anymore, so why do you care?"

"I-" I tried to say something mean...something that would send her home crying, but nothing came to mind.

Great...my mouth only works when I don't want it to. Fantastic.

"Did you actually have anything to say to me, or are you just getting your daily dose of pissing Finn off?"

"When did you write that song?" I asked.

"I think you know when," she said, looking at the floor. "You sort of inspired the central theme of the entire piece, after all." We dropped into silence for a while, then Rachel spoke up again. "I'm glad you liked it."

"I didn't hate it," I said with a roll of my eyes. "I mean, it's not like I'm putting it on my iPod or anything."

She laughed. "All the same, I appreciate that you stood up for me."

I shrugged. "Whatever. I don't like losing."

She sighed. "You have got to be the most stubborn person I've ever met. We've had sex and gone on dates that you refuse to call dates and you stand up for me when no one else will-" I tried to interrupt, but she just held up her hand. "Before you try to make the case that this was an isolated incident, I'd like to remind you of the numerous times you've defended my honor in front of Finn."

"That's not the same," I said. "Finn's an asshole."

"What about the time with the slushie?" I opened and closed my mouth a few times. "I think that settles that."

"Point?"

"How can you still pretend you don't at least like me in more than a friendly way?" she asked, throwing her arms in the air. "How can you stand up for me like you just did and act like it was about winning regionals?"

"Um...because it was," I said. She stared at me. "And yeah, the song was pretty good." She kept staring at me. "And maybe I don't totally hate you, so I don't like seeing you upset."

"And maybe you're in love with me and afraid to admit it," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"And maybe you're totally delusional because I'm head-over-heels for Karofsky, and we're going to prom together."

"And maybe Finn asked me to prom," she said. "And maybe I said yes."

I rolled my eyes. "Please, you've already played the Finn-makes-me-jealous card so many times, I've lost count. It's getting old."

She pinched the bridge of her nose. "You know, every time I talk to you, I feel like I'm in kindergarten. Can't we just talk about our feelings like mature adults?"

"I don't have any feelings to talk about," I said.

"Yeah, well, I do," she said, and I knew I was in for a speech. "So, just so you can sleep at night, and in the interest of being completely honest, I'm not seeing Finn in a romantic sense." I almost pumped my fist in the air, but I controlled myself at the last minute. "We've been spending a lot of time together, but that's just because...well...I've been lonely as of late. I don't really have many friends, and Finn's offering, so even though I know his intentions are to lure me into a relationship, I still hang out with him, because he's better than no one at all. We are going to prom together, but I've told him several times that it's just as friends. I don't think he's fully accepted that, but I want you to know on my end, it's completely platonic."

"So?" I said. "It's not like it matters to me."

She took another deep breath. "Furthermore, I want you to know that what you're doing with Dave isn't right. You're using him."

"We're both benefiting from it, so who cares?"

"I know Dave's gay," she said, and I raised an eyebrow at her. "I have two gay dads, I'm bisexual, and Kurt and I have become closer as of late. It took me a little bit to figure it out, considering that I was blinded by jealousy, but my discovering of his secret was inevitable. I have excellent gaydar."

I laughed. "So why do you care that I'm using him?"

"Because it's not healthy...for either of you." I looked at the ground, and she came closer. "Santana, you and David need to accept who you are and who you want. He can't help it that he has the hots for Kurt." She lifted my chin with her finger. "And you can't help that you have feelings for me...no matter how hard you try."

"Yes I can," I grunted out.

"Really?" she asked, and I nodded. "Then tell me that you don't wanna kiss me right now."

I wanted to...I really wanted to, but the words weren't coming. Instead...well...I kissed her. It was pretty chaste, considering that I remembered what we'd done the last time we were in here alone. I felt her smile a little bit, and I couldn't help but have a smile of my own. It was moments like this that I wondered why I didn't just let go...let myself love Rachel like she wanted me to...like I wanted to...

"What the fucking fuck?"

I pushed Rachel away and spun to look at the choir room doorway.

There, standing with a look of pure shock on his face, was David Karofsky.