Chapter 14
Khan stood in the corridor and stared at the closed bedroom door. It would be so easy to just lock it. A few taps on the security panel in the hallway was all it would take.
It could be the difference between keeping her where she was and letting her slip through his fingers, but also the difference between earning her trust and deserving her disappointment. She would never want to smile at him again, but at least she would be around to resent him for the rest of his life.
Khan thought of the smile she had given him in the shower, and again after he'd kissed her on the cheek. He could still smell her wet hair and her soapy skin. He could still feel her warmth and hear her laugh. She had been so strong to stand up to him - as yielding as ever, as loving as always, but stronger than anyone Khan had ever known. She had offered him a way back to her, a way back to the love and the life that they shared. All he had to do was reach out and take it...
But then Khan thought of Matthew and the way he'd made her laugh, carrying her on his back through the forest, so close and so comfortable together. Had she ever been that comfortable with Khan? He thought so; it was different with him, not so blithe and not so careless, but as easy and fundamental as breathing. But then what was it about Matthew that had tempted Beth? Was the temptation still there? Would she try to be with him again? If not him, there was always the risk of someone else...
Khan's hand hovered over the security panel. Beth had never questioned why he'd put it on the outside of the bedroom door. She could not have guessed he would ever want to lock her inside. Khan wondered if he had always known this day was coming.
But as he started to enter the code to seal the doors, he found he could not do it. If there was a chance, even a fraction of a possibility, that she still loved him, or might love him again, surely that was worth fighting for? That was worth anything, even... and Khan could not believe the thought as it formed in his mind... even the risk of losing her.
When Spock awoke, the first thing he saw was Khan's face hovering over him. He knew he should feel threatened, should defend himself, or at least try to sit up in bed, but there was a placidity in Khan's blue-gray eyes that kept him where he was.
"I want to thank you," Khan finally said, and there was such a long pause that Spock thought he had nothing else to say. Perhaps coming from Khan, the consideration of thanks should be thanks enough. "I could have killed her."
"You could have killed us all," Spock pointed out, and when he talked he could taste blood in the back of his dry throat. There was a tight discomfort in his lower back, and a dull ache down his whole left side, but it was more like something he should be feeling instead of something he actually felt.
"For a moment I thought she was dead," Khan said.
"Is she hurt?"
He nodded, continuing to stare. "In so many ways."
Spock could see the pain in Khan's face, and felt a surprising sympathy for the Augment. "She loves you."
He knew it was not his sympathy he felt, but Beth's. Her memories reached out to Khan, wanting to comfort him. Spock tried to remember ever feeling a love this strong and selfless in his own life. Perhaps his love for his mother, but he wasn't sure about Nyota... Beth would never leave Khan the way Nyota had left him once he was forced to take extended leave from Starfleet.
Part of Spock - his old injured self - wanted to tell Khan how much he had suffered from their last encounter. He wanted to enumerated all of his losses, all of the purpose and confidence that disappeared along with his Starfleet uniform. Finding Khan and helping Starfleet arrest him was supposed to return some semblance of meaning to his life, but now it was his greatest source of guilt.
"Khan, listen to me..."
But Khan held a finger to his lips, cocking his head, hearing voices approaching on the other side of a closed door. It was Matthew and Lucy, returning from cleaning up after surgery.
The first voice belonged to Lucy. "You didn't see his face when he rammed your ship. He was ready to kill you all."
"Not Beth." It was Matthew's voice, dripping with resentment and derision. "He wouldn't get rid of his favorite chew toy."
"I feel sick thinking about what he must have done to her after we beamed down here," Lucy continued. "Why do you think she called you to come and get her? She's terrified of him. Spock used to think so before the mind meld gave him a crush on that monster. And why do you think Khan grabbed me from the hotel? To give me a ride home? He's sadistic and he doesn't care who he hurts."
There was a quiet break and Spock looked at Khan's face, which had turned to stone, completely unreadable. Khan stood and moved to the corner of the room. He became so still that it was almost impossible to focus on him and Spock had to look just to the left or right of him to make sure he was still there.
"Somebody needs to do something," Lucy was saying, and it sounded like she was urging Matthew, but Spock knew she was trying to talk herself into action. Perhaps she had not yet contacted Commissioner Graves or Admiral Caine. Perhaps it was not too late to stop her.
Then the door opened and Lucy came through first, wearing only her underwear, carrying her blood-stained clothes in one hand. She saw that Spock was awake and went to him with a weary, but relieved smile. She hugged him and kissed his cheek, her purple hair wet as it draped across his chest.
Matthew came through next, also stripped down to his black undershorts. It was normal among the Augment crew to be comfortable in various states of undress, but Spock sat up and covered Lucy with his sheet. He knew she wouldn't want to be exposed in front of Khan, and he found he didn't want that either, not after the way Khan had taken advantage of her.
"We are not alone," he said, ignoring her attempts to settle him back into the bed.
Matthew saw Khan first, and narrowed his eyes, making him look even more like Khan than usual. Lucy gasped when she saw him, and clutched the sheet tightly to her chest.
Khan stepped out of his corner, his face still paused in an expression of watchful indifference. "I came to apologize."
"I don't care," Lucy spat.
"Where is Beth?" Matthew asked.
"She's upstairs," and Khan stepped forward at the same time as Matthew. They circled each other slowly, and Spock could feel the violence emanating from both men. "We have... reconciled," Khan said silkily, but his cold smile betrayed how fragile that reconciliation was, if it even existed.
Matthew's smile was equally cold, and quite disbelieving, but he faltered for a moment, leaning closer to Khan and breathing deeply. Whatever he detected, it made it impossible to hold even a false smile on his face. "How lucky for you."
"She has apologized for her infidelity and assures me it meant less than nothing to her."
Matthew shook his head. "I want to see her."
"I would burn your eyes out first," Khan hissed. "I know you like to bed women I've been with, but you used to wait until I was done with them."
"Don't flatter yourself," Matthew snarled, bumping his shoulder against Khan's. "I want to talk to her. I want to hear this from her."
Khan stopped circling and gave an ominous tilt of his head. Spock recognized it as a final warning for Matthew to back down. "She doesn't want to see you. She's too busy coming up with ways to prove herself to me. I'm sure you can imagine what they might include..."
"Oh, for God's sake!" Lucy suddenly shouted. "Can you two hear yourselves?"
Both men turned and she pointed a furious finger at Matthew. "You're an idiot," and then she took a deep breath and grabbed Spock's hand before pointing the same finger at Khan. "And you're a creep and a bully." When Khan did not show any signs of violence or retribution, she continued. "Beth never slept with Matthew. I don't know what you think happened but they never had sex. She threw herself at Matthew when we first arrived because she thought he was you."
Khan opened his mouth and stared at Lucy, who was beginning to grow in confidence. "She was too scared to tell you and after everything you've done I can see why."
"I didn't..." Khan began. "How could she think he was me?"
Matthew laughed. "It's your own fault for keeping secrets from her. You should have told her you'd been replaced."
Lucy turned on him. "You're no better. You gave her a proper mauling and if Spock hadn't shot... hadn't stopped you..." She cast a quick look at Spock, who appreciate her not telling Khan that he'd shot his wife. "Having sex with her like that would have been rape."
"What?" Khan demanded, reaching out and grabbing Matthew by the back of the neck. The grip would have snapped a human spine and Khan looked like he wanted to do just that. He roared loudly, giving Matthew's head a violent shake while Matthew tried to twist himself free.
"That's it!" Lucy yelled, throwing her bloody clothes at Khan. Spock heard a sob in her voice but she covered it quickly. "Reach out and abuse whoever's closest. It's what you do, isn't it?"
Khan looked down at her clothes on the ground, and then back up her face. He did not release Matthew, but his arm did stop vibrating with the effort of trying to crush his vertebrae. "Lucy, I'm sorry for involving you."
"Let me guess, you were scared?"
Khan held her gaze, but did not deny it.
"And what happens the next time you get scared? How many people are going to get hurt or killed?" I hear they're still rebuilding parts of San Francisco. You must have been fucking terrified to kill that many people..."
"Lucy!" Matthew shouted. "That's enough."
Matthew's defense of Khan surprised no one more than Khan himself, who released him instantly. Spock knew Matthew was thinking that Khan probably had been terrified in that moment two years ago, completely alone and full of rage, with the memories of his own imprisonment and emotional torture so fresh in his mind. That had all been compounded by the belief that he had just lost everyone he loved in a single explosion, including Matthew himself.
Spock could still feel his own shock and anger from that day, when he thought he had lost his best friend, and seeing the wreckage of Khan's actions all around him as he chased him through the streets of San Francisco. But he also knew there was a kind of guilt underneath that anger, knowing that his trick on Khan had contributed to so much devastation.
Lucy glared at Matthew and turned back to Spock, looking for his support. He could not meet her eyes and she did sob out loud then, realizing she'd just lost both her allies. "I can't listen to you defend him," she said, and Spock didn't know who she was talking to. She turned towards the door.
"Lucy, please," he said. He knew she was going to call Commissioner Graves. "Please, don't. It's not too late."
She looked back at him like she had forgotten something and then strode over to his bedside. "You're upsetting Spock," she barked at the others. "He needs to rest." She flipped the switch on his anesthesia drip and leaned over to kiss him, her expression fierce, her lips tasting of tears. "Please just sleep, Spock," she whispered. "It will all be over soon."
"No," he said, trying to push her off him, but the anesthesia was already taking effect, making his limbs heavy, putting a shadow in front of his eyes. He heard his body flop onto the mattress, but didn't feel a thing.
"What did he mean?" he heard Matthew asking, his voice growing louder as he approached. "What's not too late?"
"I don't know," Lucy lied, her voice the last thing to fade into nothingness. "When he wakes up, it won't matter anyway."
Decided to split the latest chapter into two parts since it was getting big enough to warrant its own postal code :) Here we get to see Khan wrestle with his autocratic tendencies, and Spock wrestle with his conflicted feelings towards Khan after the meld. And I know Lucy is unpopular but I liked that she chewed out both Khan and Matthew :) So much excitement coming up, including some adult only moments ;) This was the first part of the split chapter - hope you liked it! Stay tuned for the next part in a bit!
xo