1
Update: a month into my new life.
I'm pregnant. Also sexually obsessed with my husband.
Not just for the physical gratification.
But because it's the only time I have him completely in my power.
I live for the way he looks when he starts to lose his mind.
The hooded glittering eyes. The beautiful head thrown back.
I exhaust him. I make a habit of touching him when he's asleep. Demanding his attentions.
He's amused. Describes himself as my sex slave. But it's the other way around.
2
I buy a coffee table. The Yves Klein coffee table in Klein Blue.
$25,000. I don't blink when I take out my credit card.
I move the Roman bust Jane bought from the mantel to the center of the Yves Klein table.
Jane snorts out a laugh when he arrives home and sees it. I give him my defiant look but that makes him laugh even more.
3
I come home with a little Olmec statue I see in a gallery on Madison. A beautiful fierce basalt were-jaguar circa 1500 B.C.E.
I unwrap it and set it on the Yves Klein table next to the Roman bust.
3
The elevator doors open and a beaming Bunny scampers in loaded with shopping bags.
Close on his heels is Jane smiling, his hands in his pockets.
He let Bunny take him clothes shopping.
You would think this would be a dreary busman's holiday for Bunny, but spending time dressing up the dolly that is Jane is his idea of heaven.
Maybe Jane let Bunny measure his inseam or something.
4
Today is the thirteenth anniversary of the deaths of Angela and Charlotte.
Jane doesn't say anything. He seems fine and I don't feel right about bringing it up.
But Bunny mentions it right away when he comes over with a rack of winter coats.
Says it was soon after Patrick went back to California to gain credibility.
"How soon?" I ask.
"Two days." Bunny replies slipping a camel hair chesterfield off its hanger and onto my shoulders.