So I've been at school for the past 3 weeks and I had no computer and no TV. I know. It was living nightmare. Bt I survived. Thank God for SVU DVD's. So if you think my posting is slow now, wait till I really start school. LOL. I'm gonna be doing so much reading that I won't have time for this sadly. I'm hoping I don't become one of those writers that stop writing all together, but have faith in me. I'll probably write and post 5 chapters all at once, but right now I don't know. My school is on a friggin hill so it takes all the excess engery I use to write away from me. I just really hope I won't stop, because I love fan fiction. It's my life. :D

Stabler Home
November 18th

They had moved into their new house a week later and after living there for over a month, it finally felt like home. Maureen was excited to have her own space, even if it was right under her father's nose. She enjoyed having more privacy, yet she was still close enough to the family.

Olivia maneuvered around the kitchen fixing a plate for Elliot, who would be home at any moment. She was now six months pregnant, but it looked as though she were already about to pop. That meant mandatory desk duty, days off, and home by six, which meant that he was left to pick up her slack. He would continue to work and then come home to help her with the chores and Nicky, but on some nights, like this one, he worked late. It was now around midnight and she heard the door open and close, signaling Elliot's arrival. She worked a little faster and had managed to finish his plate just as he stepped into the kitchen.

"Hey," he said as a way of greeting her. "What are you doing up so late?"

"Hey," she grinned back, handing him his plate and kissing him chastely on the lips. "Mmm," she moaned, tasting the liquor on his tongue. "Went out for drinks with the guys?"

"Yea."

Tell her.

"Does that mean you ate already?"

"No, just drinks. Is that why you're still up?"

Tell Her.

"Yea."

He nodded and just stood there with the plate in his hand. The steam emanating off the food flowed into his nostrils and stimulated his taste buds. He was starving, yet all could do was stand there and try to find a way to tell her what he needed to tell her, wondering if he should even bother to tell her. It would hurt her. No doubt in his mind that it would, but yet there was no way around it. He had to tell her.

"Elliot? Baby, what's wrong? Not hungry?"

Tell Her.

"No. Umm. I-I…" He sighed. "I need to tell you something."

"What? Tough case?"

"Something like that."

Tell Her.

When he made no move to say anything, she looked at him quizzically, folding her arms across her chest and leaning back against the counter. "What?"

Stop dragging it out and just tell her!

He placed the plate on the counter behind him. "I think you should sit down."

"No. Elliot, just tell me. What? Something happen to the victim? Something happen in court? What?"

"No, this isn't about work, it's about us."

"Us? What? Oh God, is it the babies? Did Dr. Manning call and say something?" She asked, placing both hands over her growing stomach.

"Whoa. Liv. No, no. The twins are fine. Everything's okay."

"Then what is it?" She pleaded with him. "Please…You're scaring me."

In those few words her voice sounded so small and scared, and he knew that he was making this all even more difficult for her.

He sighed.

Tell. Her.

"Nick… committed suicide last night."

"What?" Her brows furrowed. Suddenly the room seemed too small. His words echoed in her ear, but none of them seemed to make any sense to her. "What?" She repeated.

She felt her legs begin to wobble and her hand searched around dumbly for something to help keep her balance. Elliot led her over to a nearby chair and helped her down into it.

"Liv, you ok?"

"I think I'm going to be sick."

"Ok. You want a bag or something?"

"No. No. Umm. Ahh. I want to go back to bed. I need to… Oh God," she sobbed. "How?"

"He OD'd on some over-the-counter pain pills."

"Oh. God," she cried.

He held her face in his hands and forced her to focus on him. "Olivia, look at me. This is Not. Your. Fault."

"Did he leave a note? Anything?"

He pulled the envelope out of his pocket. "Olivia, I don't think this is the best idea."

"I need to see it. I need to know why."

"Olivia. This letter can say just about anything. Are you really willing to risk this?"

"Elliot, I need to know."

He handed the envelope to her and watched as she opened it slowly. Watched her pull out the white piece of paper and watched her read the six small words that occupied the paper. Then he watched her fold it back up.

He took it from her and read it as she stared off in space.

Tell my son I loved him. Nick.

"Jesus. Liv-"

"I want to go to bed."

"Liv."

"Elliot, please."

He nodded and helped her stand. He covered the plate she had made for him and stuck it in the fridge. He took her hand and led her out of the kitchen, turning off the light as he went. They made their way up the steps and down the dark hallway. He helped her crawl
back into to bed and covered her, kissing her forehead softly. He lay down beside her and, not bothering to take off his work clothes, wrapped his arm around her.

"It's not your fault."

Thanks for reading and reviewing, I love you all. :