Wake up.
There's that voice again.. the one that sounded like him. Where was it coming from...
"Hello?" Matthew called out, sitting up on his knees in the pale grass. "Where are you? What's going on... He's not dead is he?"
Wake up.
"Wake up to what... I don't even know how..."
Wake up to your dream. If you ever want to see him again, wake up.
"...What do you mean..." he grew quiet, sinking back to sit on his heels as he stared at the blackness around him. What did he mean, if he ever wanted to see him again? Gilbert was alright, wasn't he? He had to be. This was just a dream.
He sighed softly, turing his gaze to the corpse in the distance from him, and he felt his heart pound against his chest. He had to be alright. Why was he so scared that he, in fact, wasn't alright? There was no reason why not.
Boy, you better learn to wake your conciousness or you will lose him to your dreams.
"And you better tell me what the hell you mean by that!" He shouted. Damn, that voice sounded lik a real jerk. "What exactly does that mean, lose him to my dreams? This is his dream, not mine!"
This is no one's dream.
To that, Matthew froze. No one's dream? The other voice could simply be messing with him, but he had a feeling in his gut that he was wrong. "...It's...not a dream...? Then what am I doing here...?" He asked quietly, turning his gaze to the pale blades below. Now he could hear his heartbeat in his ears and he started getting even more anxious. He needed to wake up.
It's exactly what I said. Are you deaf or something? This is not a dream.
"...then...then why are you telling me to wake up...?"
Because you aren't supposed to be here.
Now what in the hell did that mean! He groaned softly, getting more and more confused by the minute. "Who the hell are you?! Why won't you answer any of my questions?!" he finally shouted out into the abyss.
I answered one.
"Yeah one! One out of I don't even know how many!"
Seven in total, and I answered one. Man I'm on a roll.
Great.
"Since it doesn't seem like I'm waking up, start with the basics. Who the hell are you."
I'm Canada.
"You're ridiculous. How can a person be a country."
I'd answer that, but you were just conversating with one awhile ago before he got himself shot like an idiot.
"That was Gilbert. He wasn't a country." He folded his arms. This voice was getting stupid and making him feel like a gullible idiot.
Was he? I don't remember him ever actually stating his name.
"Fine then, smart guy. Who was he?"
The former Kingdom of Prussia. At the time you saw him, he took up the title German Democratic Republic.
...
"...So he was east Germany."
For lack of a better term, yes.
That definitely explained the state he was in... and why the wounds disappeared. He wasn't human.
"...What do you look like?"
Do you really want to see?
No..
"Yes..."
In the darkness to his immediate right, a spotlight seemed to illuminate another patch of white grass. From the darkness beside it, stepped a figure into the light, and Matthew found his breath catching. He had violet eyes and dirty blond hair tied back with a red hairtie; red flannel thrown loosely over his shoulders and jeans he wore..
He looked familiar, but he couldn't exactly place it. Yet the way he stared down at Matthew was a look of boredom. Matthew stood upright when he finally recognized him.
"...you're me."
Something to that effect, yes.
"...So you're not me?"
Just as he took up a title of a country, so have I. I'm Canada.
This was just weird...
Matthew found his gaze being drawn back to the faded corpse in the distance and he sighed softly. As fun as it was to learn new things, it...wasn't the right time. Not when his love, or lookalike, lay dead across from him. Something he was unable to prevent.
And it hurt his heart to see it.
...Matthew?
At the sound of his name, he merely hummed, refusing to tear his gaze away from where it lay.
Canada just sighed. Do you want the truth of what's going on here? Now that you've inserted yourself into his life, there is no returning for you. I'm going to give you two options.
Options? He forced himself to look away, staring in defeat at the other, who disappeared in the darkness once more.
The Gilbert you knew never existed. Technically, you shouldn't exist either, but you've done and changed that. Your first option, is to continue living your lie with Gilbert back in your dream.
"...My dream...That-...no. No, you're lying. He's real. I know he is!"
Completely ignoring his outburst, Canada continued. Or your second option is to return to reality, and face the fact that he never existed.
"He's real dammit! You can't tell me otherwise!"
If you're so sure, exit through the door behind you. When you've decided you're done living the lie, take another swig of the potion.
Matthew whirled around, to find a large, black outlined door in the darkness. How he found it was by mere instinct. Canada said there'd be a door, but he didn't expect a door to actually be there. With purpose, he marched forward and opened the door, stepping into the dim light before him.
What greeted him on the other side was a rather scared looking German, and his albino brother talking to themselves. It took him a moment to register that he was indeed still in Germany, as the scent of pine heavily flooded his senses. He slowly sat upright and held onto his head, his blurred vision staring at the checkered blanket he was wrapped in.
The movement caught the attention of the blond, and he gestured toward Matthew with a nod of his head.
The albino was at his side in an instant. "Matthew! You're alright?" He asked, a little frantic, yet delicate with how he gently touched his head and shoulders. Matthew looked up at him and cupped his face. He was real. He had to be real. There's no way Canada was right..
"I'm fine Gil.. What happened? I feel like I got hit by a truck..."
Gilbert sighed, gently grabbing his hand from his face, and moving his own to mimic his motion. "You've been asleep for several days... I was asleep too so I'm not sure how long. West?" He looked to his brother for reassurance.
The blond nodded slowly. "A few days is right. Today marks day four." Matthew merely shook his head. How on earth did he manage to sleep that long? Had Alfred gone home after that night?
"I'm so glad you're awake though. I never thought I'd see you here in Germany.. Why did you come?"
"I told you zhat, Bruder. He-"
"I want to hear it from him, West."
Matthew chuckled softly. "I got...scared. Without you. It never really occured to me why exactly you were leaving for Berlin on this day every year, and I got curious about it... and I...I got scared. At my age, I honestly shouldn't be scared, but I was. You don't know how relieved I am to know you're al-...Alright." He caught himself thankfully. Wouldn't want to worry Gilbert about his own death right?
Gilbert just smiled. A familiar smile that made his heart pound. One he fell in love with.
"I'm with you and my bruderlein. I'll always be alright."
The Canadian just smiled happily to hear that, hugging Gilbert tightly; tight enough to crush him in fact, and Gilbert made a strained noise.
"Air- Vogel... Air!" he cried, and panicked, Matthew withdrew, letting the albino inhale deeply.
"Sorry!" Matthew was quick to apologize, earning a soft chuckle from Gilbert.
"It's fine... Come on, I bet you're hungry." Gil smiled and Matthew was suddenly very aware that his stomach was running on empty. Four days huh... Four days without food or water.
"...uhh, yeah. heh." He smiled awkwardly, and Gil stood, helping the Canadian to his feet. After taking a small moment to fix the bed, the trio walked downstairs. Matthew took a moment to himself to compare the homes he'd seen. Everything looked alright... It didn't look changed at all. Though the home Gilbert had had was definitely different than his brother's place, but he wasn't sure which one was real.
It had to be this one though. He was sure. This had to be real. Canada was wrong. Just a nightmare...right?
Matthew felt his empty stomach churn and he groaned slightly in pain. "Oh man... "
"I know Vogel. Just a minute okay? We'll make you some food. " Gilbert assured him. Matthew only sat down and nodded slowly, trying to still the discomfort in his stomach. As the two Germans walked into the kitchen, a gentle padding came up to him, and two dogs laid their heads on his legs. Though they made no noise, they practically begged to be pet, which Matthew was happy to oblidge.
The soft fur ran between his fingers at each backward stroke, and he could feel their bodies wiggle with their tails as they wagged happily. After whatever Canada said in that...dream, he was starting to doubt everything. To secure the notion he was right, he took to examining every detail he could discern. How the black and brown fur mingled on the German Shepard to his right, and the short black of the Doberman to his left. They both looked to happy to recieve such affections from someone they knew would give it.
A sharp whistle and command from Ludwig in the kitchen made them move away from Matthew as said German poked his head out of the kitchen doorway. "Vhat vould you like to eat? I don't have much today but I vas planning on going to zhe grocer..." He at least tried to be nice in his hosting. Especially with someone so close to his brother.
It only made Matthew smile and giggle at the attempt. "Anything's great, Lud. Really."
Ludwig himself wasn't too sure about that, but he took it as an acceptable answer and disappeared behind the door once more. Soft voices were heard as the brothers talked amongst themselves in German. It wasn't often Gilbert was home anymore, to spend any time with his brother since he married his favourite foreigner.
In reminder of that sacred pact, Matthew looked to his ring. A strangely worn silver band decorated his finger. This made him pause and examine it more clearly. When had it gotten so worn down with age? He'd only had it for maybe five years or so.. He turned his hand this way, and that, examining the ring with urgency. It looked ancient,like an heirloom. Though he was always careful to take good care of it, this band looked like it wasn't too taken care of.. like it rested in vinegar every night for bedtime.
That was impossible though. He never took it off except for cleaning, which he was careful to do himself.
"Vogel?"
The voice brought his head quickly upward and his hand down a little too hard onto his knee, making a small slap. "Yes?"
Gilbert stared at him in confusion. "Are you sure you're okay? I've been calling for you for a minute now.. What were you looking at?"
"My ring.."
Gil set the plate down in front of Matthew and lifted his hand to look at the band himself and Matthew looked to the plate. Pancakes...?
"I don't see anything wrong with it." Gil said. Matthew looked to the band and stared blankly. Bright silver, like it was newly crafted, adorned his finger.
"Wh-...but I...I thought..." Matthew stammered, and Gil shook his head.
"Well, everything looks fine. Go on and eat Vogel. We'll spend a few days here with my bruderlein, since I don't see him too often. I hope that's okay."
Still reeling from what he knew he saw, all Matthew did was nod and cut into the spongy cakes before him.
Gil smiled and sat next to him, Ludwig bringing out plates for the both of them to eat from. Matthew focused on the taste of the cakes and exhaled softly. Not quite like his own, but still good all the same. Even the syrup they used had a nice, different, taste. It really had been quite awhile since they'd been here. The pancakes themselves tasted almost foreign to his tongue..
Before he knew it, the plate was empty and he looked to the brothers, chatting away as if he wasn't even there. Neither addressed him in their speech, which wasn't English. Strange how they always did that. Though he shouldn't be too surprised. He spoke French directly to his papa, leaving his brother to wonder exactly what he was saying, and for his dad to pout and whine about being left out of the conversation. Matthew just smiled to himself.
He then decided to stand, taking his plate with him, and both brothers focused on him. "Hey, I can get that for you." Gil reached out, only to have Matthew pull it back.
"Nu uh. You made the food, I do the dishes. It's only fair."
Ludwig chuckled at the pout Gil would make when defeated. "You are a guest Matzhew. Zhere is no need to do anyzhing vhile you're here."
"I want to though." he took the remaining two plates into the kitchen. It always unnerved him to step into such a clean place, like his presence would ruin it and have someone mad at him. Gil would keep their house clean to this level though, so it didn't bother him as much than it did when he was first here. He wouldn't even move from his spot on the couch for fear of soiling something and having Ludwig glare at him all night.
It didn't take him long to do said dishes, and he would leave the room, carrying a towel to dry his hand. "Alright, so what-" He paused in seeing the dining room empty. Where could they have gone? It was only a few minutes... "Gil?" He called, stepping around the table and chairs. "Ludwig, where'd you guys go?"
No response from anywhere in the house, and for a moment, he could have sworn is looked deserted. His final room to look into was Gilbert's old room, to which the door was slightly ajar. He poked his head inside and noticed it held a strange darkness about it. While everything was lit and on, things looked rather gray and colourless in this room. It gave him a cold shiver and he decided to close the room off, trying to warm himself back up.
Once the door closed, barking caught his attention in the otherwise silent house, and he ran to follow it. His feet lead him outside to find Gilbert running from a yellow Retriever, practically screaming. Though he kept a distance ahead of her, he didn't stop running from her chasing. Ludwig was doing nothing to stop her either. "Ludwig, what are you doing?" Matthew asked, taking his place to stand next to him and watch his albino run in circles.
"He stepped on her tail by accident. I'm letting her get her revenge." He stated clearly. Matthew nodded and watched as Gil eventually tripped and the dog jumped on him to bite his arm. Though she was careful in only biting once, and in apology, she licked the wound. Gil laughed softly and pet her.
"Ja, I'm sorry too girl. I didn't mean to step where I did..."
Matthew looked scared the minute he saw Gilbert fall, and he didn't notice his skin paling, or blood running cold. To him, his fall was rather slow motion and reminiscent of the dream state. It wasn't a trip that caused him to fall... not to him. He screamed out when Ludwig grabbed his shoulders and shook him a little. "Matzhew!" He looked worried as the Canadian focused on him, his heart beating quickly and his breathing close to hyperventilation.
He quickly shifted to watch Gilbert stand with the dog at his side. "Matthew? Are you sure you're okay?"
"Gil...God.." he breathed, hugging himself to sink down. "I...I just... um... nightmare...still rather v...vivid." Gilbert went to kneel in front of him to touch his face. His touch wasn't warm and welcoming, which only made him start to cry in his shakened state. It was cold and lifeless.
"Hey Matthew... Honey look at me. I'm right here... Nothing's gonna hurt you." He cupped him with both hands and made the brilliant lavender stare at the gentle crimson. He would feel warmer now as they stared in silence. His sobbing grew harder as he threw himself against Gilbert, hugging tightly. He had to be real! This felt real! His heart hurt like he'd lost something so close, but he could feel Gil... he was right here. His promise sounded so full of truth...
The door is always there. In the corner of your eye. When you decide to take the chance and escape your dream, take it. You have this one warning. Don't drink the whole bottle.
In hearing Canada once again, Matthew hiccuped. Stupid door. He was wrong. He was wrong. He had to be.
Gilbert would gently pet Matthew as he held him, trying to shush him and soothe him. Even the dogs nudged him with their noses, whimpering. For their master to guard his emotions so well, they were oddly receptive to other's emotions. Matthew didn't seem to notice their cold noses, focusing entirely on Gilbert against him. How he smelled of honey, and his touches were so soothing.
He was wrong.
As Gilbert had said, they had stayed at least until the 15th, a few days later than he originally promised. Turns out he couldn't really leave his brother alone.
After the floodgates opened during the drinking contest, Gilbert could sleep peacefully every night at that point. It put Matthew's mind at ease to notice Gilbert would fall asleep next to him, and stay that way all night long. It even let Matthew sleep rather well in knowing his husband was doing what it took him forever to do. He all but put Canada's warnings and messages into the back of his mind.
Gilbert waved goodbye to his brother as they headed through customs and toward the gate to their plane to head back to Canada. "Ah, I missed hanging out with Lud. We should definitely take trips here when it's not for anything important."
Matthew nodded in agreement, his fingers ghosting over the cross he was given for reassurance. It felt like it was there, but he couldn't hear the jingle of the chain.. That was mildly concerning, but as long as he could feel it, he felt Gilbert in his heart. His sunshine...
The plane ride was long, as it usually was when crossing the Atlantic, and Matthew hurriedly stepped off the plane into the airport of Ottawa. Finally, the familiarity of Canada... Gil was dragged behind him, laughing. "In a hurry Vogel?"he teased.
He really was though. He rushed in everything he did, eager to get home. He was eager to throw his belongings on the floor, and pull Gilbert into their home, where Alfred was crashed on the couch. Ivan though, was awake, and greeted them cheerfully.
"Privyet, Matvey. We were watching your house and your bird while you were gone. I hope you don't mind."
Matthew gave him a look, the grin Ivan would wear unaffected by it. "Yea, thanks.."
"I have not seen your bear. Did something happen?"
That made Matthew pause and look off. Kuma still wasn't here? It's not like the polar bear hibernated... not while he had a warm house to go to with plenty of food. He grew out of hibernation back when he was a cub. "...I hope not... I haven't seem him since before...Gil was having his issue."
Gilbert would frown at that. Kumajiro wasn't around? That's unfortunate and concerning. "...Jeez. Did you want to go looking for him Mattie?" he asked, looking to the door.
Matthew was more concerned with why his house looked different. Even with more people inside, it looked marginally more...empty. He eventually tried to put that fact out of his mind and looked back to Gilbert. "We really should. I'll give it another day though. I'm tired..."
Gil looked a little concerned but nodded. "Danke, Ivan. You don't have to stay anymore."
He never liked the greedy gaze Ivan would give him, but the Russian said nothing, scooping up the passed out American from the couch and leaving the house entirely. One of these days, he was sure Ivan would tell him why he gave him those looks, but not today. Of that, he was thankful.
Glad he and Gil were finally alone, Matthew pulled him him close and peppered his skin with the kisses he'd longed to give him since he left on his own on the ninth. Gil hugged him close, loving the affection, and chuckling softly. "Hey I'm not going anywhere.. You have a whole lifetime of me. "
How long is a lifetime...? It differed between people. Matthew felt his heart stop beating momentarily, envisioning the gray corpse in that blackness that he never wanted to see or be in hugged Gilbert closer and tighter, not noticing he started shaking until Gilbert looked at him in concern. "Hey... hey relax. what's got you so scared.."
"N..nothing. Don't leave me..okay?"
"I wouldn't dream of it..."
That seemed to reassure him, and he relaxed completely in Gilbert's arms, closing his eyes. "...can we go to bed now?" he asked quietly, earning a soft chuckle from his husband.
"Ja, Vogel we can go to sleep now. We'll go looking for Kuma first thing in the morning." Gilbert would lead him to the bedroom, which held the same neatness as they'd left it. He pulled back to the covers, quietly leading Matthew to lay down in them, and tuck him in comfortably, before laying beside him. "Will you tell me what's wrong eventually?"
"...nothing's wrong Gil. I've just.. my imagination keeps trying to kill you."
He laughed softly. "Can't get rid of me that easily. " Matthew would smile a little in response to that, before dozing off against the pillow, facing his beloved.
Things were cold here. Colder than the outside on dark winter nights. He watched his breath paint over a surface in front of him. He couldn't see what lay beyond it, nor could he see his reflection in the surface. He only saw his breath. It was chilling how alone he felt in the dark of his dream. Was he even still Matthew? It was hard to tell, unable to see anything.
The darkness put a chill through his spine, as he was once again reminded of that lifeless corpse he was forced to witness. Why couldn't he just put that image away? It was unbearable! As if his dreams hated him, from beyond the glass, he could see. He could see that gray spot of grass, though nothing resided in it this time. Matthew raised his fists to beat on the surface in front of him, dying to get closer, or away from the hell he saw. It hurt his heart to see that small patch, even if the body of Prussia was no longer there.
He resembled Gilbert too much... He tried to cry out, finding he had no voice in this chilling cold, and he continued to beat on the surface.
You know how this ends. You know how to escape. You have to wake up sometime.
Matthew froze at seeing his reflection, the same unamused look that Canada would give him staring at him, before morphing into fright. He saw his face and body react as he would be trying to do, and it scared him. Again, he tried to cry out, the surface fogging over completely.
You know how to escape. I'm not telling you again.
No! That would mean accepting this life as false. The happy life he'd made with Gilbert a lie. A dream..
Wake up.
He beat again and again, long after his fists had begun to bruise and bleed. Long after he had no energy in the cold. Long after he could no longer feel his body. He had to escape.. The fog smeared with blood as he continued to try...and try...
He didn't know how long he'd been beating against the unyielding surface, but when he finally stopped in defeat, he could no longer recognize his hands as hands. He couldn't escape this prison. A prison he'd made for himself. Why though? It was his dream, he should be able to control it... Especially now he knew it. But he couldn't break though this unbreakable wall. The only surface, of which he could see, was covered with blood and steam from his breathing..
Canada was constantly telling him how he could make it end... but that would mean giving up the life he'd created for himself and admitting everything was a lie. He couldn't do that. Gilbert didn't deserve that.
He screamed out a silent plea. Please Gilbert, wake me up... I need you.
Though nobody heard him. Nobody came.
He was left in the chilling darkness, a mute plea echoing through his mind for what seemed like an would nobody answer? Why couldn't he wake up? He sobbed quietly on his knees. He felt abandoned here in this void. His husband was gone.. Canada was gone... just left him here alone. He was broken and bruised, and empty. It felt so real... he could feel the pain in what was left of his hands as the blood pooled in the broken vessels before draining onto the floor below him.
How long he stayed in that darkness, he didn't know, but he suddenly found he was awake, and back in the bedroom. Gilbert was sleeping calmly beside him, the room dimly lit by an obscured moon. Matthew rubbed his eyes, sitting up with mild difficulty, and staring at his shaking hands. It all felt so real...
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The blue lines were the only illuminating source in the room at present as Matthew tried to gather his breath. He had to remember it was a dream... Nothing more than a dream. Canada couldn't hurt him out here. His Gilbert was alive out here..
He slid out of the bed to head toward the kitchen, suddenly feeling the need to drink some coffee. Hopefully it would relax him.
Once in the kitchen, he portioned out his instant coffee and started to brew it, leaning against the counter. The only noises in the house at this time of night, was the soft peeping Gilbird would make every now and again, and the bubbling of the hot water in the coffee maker. He felt so lost in the dark rooms of the house, even if he knew his way around with his eyes closed. Such a vivid dream... He hated it and needed to get his mind off it.
He got up off the counter's edge to turn, and stare out the window. As his mind moved through the darkened landscape of the winter trees, he started to think about his bear friend. Kuma had been gone since Gilbert had first started losing sleep, no matter what he tried to do to bring him back. No amount of calling or food or begging could bring that bear back, and it made his heart ache to think something happened to him.
After all, Kuma was there first. He was with Matthew since he was a cub, going through every heartbreak and emotional breakdown the Canadian had during his lifetime, and the bear would never complain.
He wasn't sure how long he was staring into the inky blackness of the barren trees, but the aroma of freshly brewed coffee brought him back into focus. When he turned to the coffee machine, the pot was full and awaiting further orders. Matthew grabbed a mug and poured some of the dark roast into it, quickly followed by some milk and honey. With his caffeine mixture in hand, he went out to sit on his porch, watching the world sit still under the veil of the night.
The steam from the mug was the only movement he could see on such a windless night, and he listened to the music his heart made as he calmed it down from such a strange nightmare. Growing up, Mathew had his fair share of panic attacks... Gil had always told him to hold his breath, and listen to the beating of his heart. Let his mind race, it was no use in trying to calm that storm, but he wanted him to focus on one stimuli. Gil put his hand over Matthew's ears, the tears rolling down breaking his heart, but he calmly told Matthew to listen to his heart. The erratic beating would slowly calm.
Matthew did that now, listening to the only source of noise in his ears, and focused on the beating in its entirety, listening to it slow and calm. He couldn't stay out here all night, could he? Carefully taking a sip from the roast, he closed his eyes. It was definitely calming enough. Maybe he could... not like he would worry Gilbert too much. He was still on the property.
He opened his eyes again to look at the creamy substance in the mug, watching it sway slightly as his body continued to shiver. It was a bit chilly out here, but the cold only helped in making him calm down. It always had, much to his brother's confusion. Maybe he could occupy his time and look for the bear... He'd be back before morning, that was for sure.
Making up his mind, Matthew stood and set the mug down on the chair, opening the door enough to snatch his boots from by the door, before sliding them on. Taking a moment to grab the mug, he calmly headed out into the trees, desperate to see his friend again.
Once in the dense, but barren trees, the light was scarce, and Matthew would call for Kuma once again. He'd gone searching once, but he didn't escape too far. It was possible Kumajiro was long gone by now, but the bear was smarter than that. At least, he'd hoped...
With the sound of snapping twigs now the newest source of noise under his boots, Matthew would try to listen for anything out of the ordinary. "Kuma? Kumajiro, where'd you get to buddy?" Not like he expected a response at this point, but he'd definitely have loved one.
Every now and again, he'd hear hooting of owls as he disturbed their prey on their hunts with the sounds of his continuous stick breaking. He'd, of course, apologize and continue on his way. He'd almost forget about his coffee too, but he'd make sure to take sips as it cooled off on the outside air. How far did these trees go? The world was a much different place in the dark. He couldn't be more than ten minutes away from the house, still calling for his bear, and doing his best to imitate the sounds Kuma would make.
Either they were perfect, or so horrible that some birds flew off from their trees to get away from him. He wasn't quite sure which. He would blush and laugh softly, deciding never to do that again.
Another eternity later, or somewhere around fifteen minutes, he decided to call it a night this time. He'd go looking in the morning, when he could see where he was going. Besides, the darkness was getting eerily quiet. Not even the sounds of twigs rang out in the silence anymore.
Matthew turned around to head back toward the house, only to find he wasn't as far out as he thought he was. May have just been a trick of the dark, but his house was there not five minutes walk from where he'd turned around. He chalked it up to simply wandering more in a circle than an actual straight line like he could have sworn he was doing. Honestly though, who could really well what direction they'd be walking if they couldn't see anything.
Wake up.
Matthew gripped his mug tighter, trying to pretend he didn't just hear Canada echoing in the dead of night, and he entered his home, kicking off his shoes by the door, then shutting it behind him. With purpose, he marched toward the couch, plopping down with his cooled liquid, and drinking a decent portion of it. Tasted better hot, but that's what he got for spending near a half hour outside with it. At least, he thought it was a half hour. Felt like forever..He decided to find out exactly how long he spent outside by finding a clock.
In finding the bright red lines of the kitchen clock, he dropped his mug, hearing the shatter in the darkness. The coffee was soaked up by the carpet at the edge of the kitchen tile and living room. There was...no way. It... had to have stopped. Right?
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It screamed out the time, the LEDs brighter than the sun in the contrasting darkness, and Matthew felt his heart stop. It was impossible! He was outside for a long time! There was no way that time hadn't passed!
Wake up.
"Fuck off! Leave me alone!"
Time cannot pass anymore. Wake the fuck up before I pull the damn plug on you.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean!" He screamed to the ceiling. He was really tired of hearing the same stuff over and over again. Matthew ran to the bedroom to wake up Gilbert, who was still sleeping, undisturbed. He shook him gently. "Gil? Gil please wake up!" he cried, though the albino didn't seem to be waking anytime soon.
I won't tell you again. You know how to escape. Take it before it kills you.
"Why are you so worried about me, huh?" he glared upward. He didn't know where the voice was coming from, but he needed a direction to direct his hate toward. Up seemed viable.
Because I need you back. I can't run this shit by myself. And this damn life you've given yourself ain't what I need.
"You selfish fuck! You just can't let me have my time to myself can you? You're tearing me away from all of this just so you can go back to being lazy?"
Not quite. I just need you to wake up.
"Fuck off."
Only one way to do that.
Drink the potion, right. He said don't drink all of it, or it could kill him, but what was the point anyway. How much of this was a lie? The marriage? Had he made up Gilbert entirely? Was he dead somewhere? Who knew. Matthew went to dig through his backpack by the door to find the half empty bottle, and he brought it back with him as he sat on the bed. He carefully looked over Gilbert's disturbed, but otherwise peaceful, form. He found his hatred melting as he tried to remember the happy times he had with Gilbert. All the smiles and laughs they'd shared. Movies they watched. All the moments of the future they'd planned together...
He started to lose his nerve, looking to the glittery liquid with tears blurring his vision. "...Gil...I love you so much. I'm...I'm glad... I could feel what happiness you gave me. I hope you're real. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I made you up. " he uncorked the bottle, preparing to taste the almond that he despised. He reached over to gently cup Gil's face, before leaning down and giving him the gentlest of kisses, watching as he would smile at the affection. It was the last time he'd feel his husband, and it made him sick to realize that. Taking one last look to the clock that still hadn't changed, Matthew took a swig of the liquid, the tears falling steadily. He would quickly cork it back up before he threw the foul liquid up, and he laid beside Gilbert, reaching over to gently rub his cheek. He would continuously mumble his heart's feelings, murmuring 'I love you' over and over again, until he felt himself getting dizzy and tired.
The last thing he saw was Gil's eyes opening to stare at him, with a gentle smile on his features.
"I love you too."