Chapter Thirteen :: Being like Those We Love

Rain splashed against the window of Sora's room. It had been two weeks since that day that Axel had 'died'. However, there was no sign of Namine. Axel stared out the window and almost sighed. Maybe he had been wrong about her. Maybe she had left him or maybe she had cast herself away to the darkness in hopes of finding him there. He scoffed. No, she was coming. It was about time to leave. Axel walked downstairs. Sora's parents weren't home. They were working today. The redhead continued down the hallway, grabbing his overcoat and pulling it on. He reached for the doorknob.

"Where are you going?" Sora asked as he noticed Axel leave. He frowned. "To Namine?"
"I don't know anymore," Axel replied simply, turning his head slightly towards Sora. "But no need to worry… nobody will miss me."

"She misses you," Sora stated, swinging his hand out to the side. The hand found its way back to his chest, as if he had a heart connected to Namine's. Axel scoffed, knowing who made him say that. Turning on his heels, he took one last look at Roxas and Sora and waved goodbye.

"When she comes, she may be too strong for either Kairi or Riku. I'm counting on you… on the both of you to save her," Axel said, feeling the compass in his body once more. It pulled him towards his heart. He was going to find it. "It's better if I'm not here."

"Do what you have to," Sora insisted, shaking his head. "But come back. It's wrong for you to hurt Namine like that."

"It was wrong of you to hurt Namine like that," Axel snapped, pulling his hood over his head and running into the pounding rain. Sora watched Axel leave, feeling Roxas's pain. He wanted to ask Roxas why Namine had become violent, but somehow he knew. Despite being a nobody, Namine loved him so much that she couldn't lose him. She'd much rather die than live without him. Somewhere deep inside himself, Sora felt his own twinge of hurt. It was as if he had promised her something. It hurt to know that he couldn't help her… that he couldn't protect her.

Forgotten… but not lost.

"Long time no see, Sora," a voice called out from the pounding rain. Namine appeared from the darkness, wearing her black coat and red dress. Pulling back the hood of the coat, Sora noticed there was something different about Namine. She looked hurt and disheveled, as if she had been crying all of her life and underneath all of that hurt and pain, he noticed something dark and sinister. Hatred.

"Namine…"

"Don't," Namine warned, yanking the threads of Sora's memories. Sora felt a searing pain in his mind and fell to his knees. Namine walked up to him, staring down at him with cold, unrelenting eyes. There was a dim shimmer and then Roxas appeared.

"Namine…"

"It's too late now, Roxas. I've gone too far," Namine said, her chakram appearing in her hands. She held one over her head and was ready to strike when Kairi leaped in-between Sora and Namine. Namine leaped backwards, knowing this battle would commence. "I won't hold back, Kairi."

A bright light shone brightly in Kairi's hands as duel keyblades appeared. She held them at her sides, a familiar signature stance. Namine noticed the likeness. Twirling her chakram in her hands, she smirked. Was this fate? She didn't know being reborn meant having a repeat of the past. Kairi and Namine. Roxas and Axel.

"Axel is still alive!" Kairi shouted over the pouring rain. Namine paused, hearing the words resonate within her. She stopped twirling her chakram for a moment, but realized that it had to be a lie. If Axel was alive, he would be with her right now. He wouldn't have left her alone. They only had each other. There was no way he would have left her alone… not after everything they had been through together.

I want all of us to be together.

"I can't. I can't. I can't. I CAN'T! I CAN'T! I CAN'T!" Namine screeched as thunder bellowed overhead. She flung her chakram at Kairi, who nimbly dodged it. Kairi leaped forward and struck, flinging Namine into a cement wall. Namine rose from the rubble, raising her hand. The chakram she threw at Kairi returned to her hand. She hated how she had said that sentence. It ended up hurting her more than it helped her. She scowled. Was this the destiny of all nobodies?

Pushing against the wall, Namine charged towards Kairi and threw both of her chakram at her. Kairi dodged again, but she noticed Namine had a dark smile on her face. That's when she heard the chakram return. Both sliced into her side. Kairi didn't budge. She rushed towards Namine and slammed her keyblade into the blonde's stomach, flinging her counterpart into a nearby store. Namine's chakram dissipated.

Kairi walked up to Namine, lifting the blonde's head with her keyblade. She had a sad look upon her face as the rain pounded on her. Namine scowled once more, seeing this look. She had this feeling of contempt, yet she couldn't find the strength to admit it. It was as if there was some unwritten law about hating what you truly are. Kairi tilted her head slightly. Her quiet voice cut through the rain.

"Is it lonely living like that?"

Namine grabbed hold of the keyblade, her knuckles turning white. Hands shaking, Namine continued to squeeze the keyblade as if it would crumble in her hands. Her crystal blue eyes were unwavering as her silence answered the question. Yes, it was lonely. It was so lonely. Her heart couldn't bear it anymore, but she'd rather live like this. Namine would rather die living with this lead brick pushing down upon her chest. This was because she knew that hope was at the end of the tunnel. Even though it was unlikely, Namine saw Roxas and Axel waving at her at the end of that dark, dark tunnel. They were waiting for her at the end of that tunnel. She knew that by splitting Sora she was undoing her work, but she needed those two. She needed them so badly. Tears fell down Namine's face freely, mixing with the pounding rain. No one understood her. She refused to open her soul to anyone but Axel and Roxas, and even Roxas was lost to the fulfilling anesthesia of light and emotion. She swung her entire body clockwise, slamming Kairi into the cement wall as well. Even if this dream no longer existed, Namine would believe it did.

"You have no idea what it is like to be me. You have no idea what it's like to be used for as long as you can remember and the one time you have hope, it's torn away from you. You have no idea what it's like to be sick of yourself to the point where even the thought of hope makes you throw up. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of life. I'm sick of being a nobody. I'm sick of being alive. I'm sick of you. Sora. Riku. Roxas. And do you know what the most ironic thing about this is?" Namine asked, grabbing Kairi by the neck and lifted her to her feet. Her grip strengthened with every word. "I can't kill myself. When I die, I'll be sent into the darkness and then from the darkness, I'll be brought back into this world. It's such a lonely existence and yet Roxas has seemed to have forgotten it."

Kairi kneed Namine in the stomach. She gasped for breath when she was freed from Namine's grasp. Namine coughed, feeling warm blood drip down her lower lip. Rising to her feet, Kairi began to cry as well. She felt the tears confusedly, wondering if this happened because she was connected to Namine. Suddenly, Kairi felt an emotion deep inside her. It was dark and murky. It was filled with hurt, despair, and loss. The weight of the emotions caused Kairi to stagger backwards. It was so much. Kairi's eyes widened. Was this the essence of Namine's soul?

"Namine, is this…?"

"Please, don't stop me from fighting Sora!" Namine pleaded, leaning against the brick wall. She wiped away at her teary eyes. She could feel the gravitational pull of Kairi's heart. It grabbed for her, demanding her to return. Suddenly, just as she felt a pulsation begin to pull her in, it stopped. Instead, it felt as if something heavy had been placed in her chest. She fell to her knees, overwhelmed by something that she couldn't quite understand. It hurt inside her chest. She felt beating in her chest and it beat in time with Kairi's heart. She felt the words she'd been holding in come out naturally. "I know you love him, Kairi. I know you love him so much that there isn't a thing you wouldn't do for him, but it's the same for me too! Why should I be cursed to have nothing? Why do I have to be the one who is all alone in the end when I chase after my dreams?"

"Namine…"

Namine glanced up, finding Kairi standing right in front of her. The two of them stared at each other, the rain filling the silence around them. Kairi held out her hand to Namine. Namine grabbed it gently and allowed Kairi to help her to her feet again. She felt so tired, as if she had spent her life running and running. Kairi's face tilted upwards slightly, her eyebrows furrowing and showing her sadness for her other half. She embraced Namine tightly. Kairi understood Namine's pain more than ever. This was not pain that could be cured with words after all. Maybe it was time for Kairi to stop being happy and just watch from the sidelines. The two held each other in the rain.

"Go," Kairi whispered into Namine's ear. She released Namine. "Be strong."

"If you insist," Namine muttered, shoving a chakram into Kairi's stomach. Kairi coughed, falling to her knees. She tried to cover the wound with her hand but blood seeped through. Namine's eyes had turned cold and unrelenting as Kairi's vision began to dim. "I can't forgive you… I can't forgive anyone."

Kairi fell to the ground, and watched as Namine walked into the darkness after Sora.

Author's Note

I'm sorry. I know it's been forever. I actually had this chapter written and never posted it. After rereading this story, I tweaked a few things. Chapter 13 got me really riled up, and I ended up thinking, "HOLY POOP. Namine is really angry this time."

Anyway, I'm going to try and update again. Writing these stories and not finishing them feels weird.

As a last note, I'd like to thank Divine Wolfe and NinjaShiek for always supporting me. I'm sorry for not posting for the longest time, but your support is still appreciated.