A/N: Hey everyone. I wanted to take some time to thank everyone that has reviewed for the story and in particular for the last chapter. I try to say thanks by message to those who do but there were a lot of guest reviews this time, so I wanted to let you all know I really appreciate your comments. I realize it's been a while since my last update; as my friends have informed me, I seem to have sold my soul to school.

And now I've sold my soul to my internship for the summer, so I don't know how often I'll get more chapters out but I'm hoping once a month. (Don't quote me on that.) There are only a few more chapters to the story! Another five maybe. And maybe a sequel in the far future, after I've completed my other Fanfiction stories (as seen in my profile).

As always, many thanks to my beta editor.

Enjoy the chapter!

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Chapter Fourteen

"We could have puppy stew tonight. Add a little carrots and peas and it'll taste great." Seifer said from beside him and a weight dropped onto Squall's lap. It would have startled him if Seifer hadn't been shoving the dog at him like this for the last ten minutes. He cupped the puppy's stomach with a hand to keep it from falling off his knees and sighed. Hyne he was tired.

"Doesn't Rinoa have an extra leash?" he asked as the problem wriggled in his fingers, rubbing its head against his knees in affection.

"Not one small enough," Seifer grumbled back. They were in Seifer's car and while Posy had originally been placed in the back, she'd made short work of clambering into the front to bounce all over the both of them. Putting her back over the seats didn't deter her. She always found her way back to Squall's lap and from there to Seifer's.

They'd had the puppy for two days and Seifer still hadn't said anything about taking her back to the training facility. And he'd come back from Rinoa's with enough dog food to last a week. And Posy liked the blonde. That proved that Seifer was stealing belly rubs and ear fondles when the dog wasn't with Squall. He hadn't known Seifer liked pets.

"Did Rinoa have Angelo when you two dated?" he asked as the car turned to the right.

Seifer hmmm'ed. "It was a puppy then."

Squall frowned. "You like dogs then?"

"Eh. They're all right. As long as they're not climbing all over me while I'm driving." That didn't tell him anything other than that Seifer tolerated dogs. What the hell. Did Seifer want to keep Posy or not?

Did he?

He'd never had a pet before. Angelo didn't count. He had been Rinoa's and Squall had never taken any responsibility for him. For that very reason he'd never minded Angelo. But Seifer had made it his job to feed Posy the last two days. It was… odd; to have something be so suddenly dependent on him.

"Have you ever met Dylan?" Seifer asked suddenly from the driver's seat.

That derailed him from his thoughts. He smoothed a hand over Posy's coat as she lay down on his lap. "Once."

"What do you think of him?"

Squall shrugged. "I don't know."

"Come on. You're a better judge than that."

Squall leaned back. "It was only once. He wasn't intimidated by me. Didn't thank me like everyone else did for the war." After a moment he added, "He didn't mind the secrecy."

"How long have he and Rin been seeing each other exactly?"

His free hand found the window knobs. "Around a year."

Seifer made a noncommittal sound. "That's a lot of secret trips to Deling."

Squall shrugged again and rested his head back on the headrest. "Edea helped. Gave Rin a cover story."

"What?!" Posy's head came up off his lap at sound for a second before returning. "Edea knows too?"

Squall shifted uneasily at the incredulity in Seifer's voice. "Not about... Just that Rinoa was seeing someone." Then he paused and went over Seifer's words again. "Wait. What do you mean who else knows? Who knows besides Rinoa?"

"You're father."

Squall sighed and brought up a hand to rub his face. He was too tired to even groan.

"Hey, I didn't tell anyone. Laguna knew the whole time. He's got pictures of us."

Squall canted his head towards Seifer. "What pictures?"

"Incriminating pictures. Trust me, he knows all about it."

"Fuck," Squall muttered softly. That… well, that actually explained a lot.

"Seems he's kept it to himself at least," Seifer replied, as the car turned again. "I don't think he's even told Kiros or Ward… Think you're cowboy's figured it out yet?"

"He's not my cowboy. He doesn't even wear that hat anymore."

"You know, one of the guys I mentioned? He's name was Cody. He had a whole outfit. Hat, boots, those leathers that go over the pants but leave the crotch bare. One time he left the pants off-" Squall reached over and dropped Posy into Seifer's lap. "Hey!"

Goddamnit. He could feel the heat coming up neck. He crossed his arms and faced away towards where the window should be. He did not want to hear about any of the men Seifer had dated. Seifer, of course, had figured this out. He'd been dropping innocent comments ever since that day in the bedroom.

Seifer gave a good natured laugh and fingers suddenly played through his hair. Squall smacked the hand away quickly. "I'm kidding," Seifer said, and Squall could hear the pleasure in his voice.

Squall tried to will his mortified blush away. He was not jealous. "What were their names?"

"Whose?"

Seifer had never moved Posy back to his lap. He dug his fingers into his pant legs instead. "The men you… dated. Jason and who else?"

"Why would you like to know? You're not allowed to go hunt them down you know." Squall scowled and waited. "Well, there was Jason. He was the last and longest. Danny was before him. And before that were Canon and Benjamin."

Well… fine. Now he'd known if Seifer threw any more names out just to rile him up. There was no Cody in that list. "How long?" The words were out of his mouth before they'd even processed. Shit.

"How long what?"

"…How… long were you with Jason?"

"Jealous?"

"No," he snapped and huffed a breath out, turning to face away again.

"Three months."

That was two months longer than Seifer and him.

A wave of exhaustion hit him again and he closed his eyes. He really, really needed to sleep. Too bad it was impossible if Seifer was anywhere near him. Damn. That goddamn kiss had fucked him over bad.

He'd been fine after Irvine and the group had left. Then sort of fine after Seifer got back with dog chow and Rinoa left. Then not so fine once it was just Seifer and him. He'd been able to distract himself with Posy for a few hours but then there was no avoiding that it was late and Seifer was in the bed and telling him sleepily to get his goddamn self in bed and sleep before Seifer dragged him there.

He hadn't been able to sleep. Every shift Seifer had made had him tensing until he'd been a mass of contracted muscles. He couldn't do it, sleep, with Seifer lying three feet away. Instead his whole relationship with Seifer had replayed in front of his eyes. Everything. Every detail.

He'd almost wept in relief when morning came and Seifer left the bed to shower.

Last night had been worse. He'd managed to stumble to the living room halfway through the night and collapse on the sofa but he'd barely fallen asleep before Seifer was shaking him awake and demanding to know why he'd moved to the couch. The blonde had dragged him back to the bed and Squall had spent the rest of the night huddled on the edge of the mattress, miserable.

He'd seen that Seifer still cared. It had been his crutch in Esthar. He'd meant to stop, to leave off using the blonde. Then the damn man had kissed him. And Squall's body had liked it. Remembered it. Wanted more.

Luckily for him, his rationale realized what a clusterfuck that would put them in.

There would be no hiding anything this time around if they got into it. Not with him being blind. Speculations were one thing but confirmation shoved in everyone's face was a whole different mess. And all those comments Seifer had been dropping about the men he'd been with in the last two years; they'd all been featured from behind closed doors. It was not a lifestyle that was accepted outside those doors. And he was in the spotlight, again.

He wasn't going to screw up Seifer's hard-earned life. Not only would he pull Seifer down with him, his problems would become Seifer's. He wasn't going to let that happen.

But Hyne was his body fighting that decision.

"Here we are." As Squall scrambled to pull his thoughts back to order the car turned sharply and then stopped. The engine idled then stopped and Posy barked excitedly, seeing something he couldn't.

Seifer put the dog in his lap and opened his door. Squall unbuckled his seat belt but Rinoa got to his side of the car before he could open the door. "Squall! Posy! Here, let me introduce her to Angelo and get her out of your hair." He relinquished the puppy and felt his way out of the car as barks erupted. He was barely out when someone else was next to him.

"It's good to see you again Leonhart." A hand touched his shoulder briefly. The voice was low, but not as low as Seifer's.

"Dylan." After a moment he put his hand out hesitantly. Dylan immediately took it and they shook. Then Seifer was there introducing himself. And Rinoa was back. She linked her arm through his and moved away from the other men. "Angelo loves Posy. They took to each other immediately. Here, there's a step."

Squall let the woman pull him into her house and immediately noticed when he stepped onto carpet. Seifer's house had all hardwood flooring. Immediately he preferred the wood to carpet. The carpet swallowed his footsteps and dulled all sounds of boots. "Let's have lunch first, and then if you want I can give you a tour." He liked that idea. She'd be able to tell him where the couch was.

"Hope you like Chinese," Dylan said, coming in from behind them. "Neither Rin or I know how to cook anything gourmet, so for the sake of not burning down the house we got take-out."

Before he knew it he was seated next to Seifer at a table with a plate of food in front of him and Posy and Angelo lying under the table. "Is this your house?" Seifer asked Dylan as forks started clattering.

"Yes. I bought it a few years back."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-five."

"Rin!"

Rinoa laughed at Seifer's scandalized tone. She and Dylan were sitting across from him and Seifer. "I'm not breaking any rules." She replied and there was a kissing sound.

Seifer made a gagging sound next to him. "Oh god. I just realized."

"What?" the sorceress asked.

"You've got two ex-boyfriends over for lunch sharing a table with your current boyfriend. That is an accomplishment."

"Well…" Rinoa drawled out, taking the revelation without missing a beat. "Considering the two exes turned gay on me and ended up sleeping together…"

Dylan laughed. He was the only one. Seifer cleared his throat and Squall shrunk in on himself.

"Ah Rin," Dylan said. "Don't scare them off. At twenty years old they're still tenderly innocent."

"Ah, fuck you," Seifer said, his voice becoming light again. "Rin, are you letting this old man corrupt you?"

They didn't seem to be paying attention to him. Squall slowly reached a finger out until he found his plate. He gripped the side and found his fork with the other hand. He hadn't known what to expect when Rinoa had invited them over for lunch but it certainly had not been this banter.

He ate whatever he managed to stab with his fork between jaw cracking yawns as the others talked about their jobs. Dylan was a mechanic and Rinoa had just gotten employment and a jewelry store. It sounded so normal. There were bitchy customers, single fathers fighting for child custody and cars from hell. He put an elbow on the table and rested his cheek on his palm, listening. He couldn't relate to any of it. This had been Seifer's life for the last two years. Him? He'd been killing monsters, both the four-legged and two-legged kind. It wasn't something you brought up at the dinner table.

He didn't even realize it when his eyes closed. The voices were muted mummers on his periphery until he felt Seifer's hand brush his thigh. He jolted awake and the dishes on the table clattered as his knee hit the underside of the wood.

The hand immediately withdrew. "Did you… just fall asleep?" Seifer asked. "At the table?"

"No," he mumbled and straightened, flushing in embarrassment. "No, I was listening."

"What have you been doing to him Seifer?" Rinoa demanded. "He's exhausted."

Seifer addressed Squall again. "Are you okay?"

"M' fine," he said.

"No you're not," Rinoa chided. "Here. Leave the food. I'll show you the bed. No Seifer, you stay."

Seifer grumbled while Rinoa took the fork out of Squall's hand. Squall could have kissed Rinoa as she pulled him up from his chair. A bed without Seifer in the room? Thank god.

Once they left behind Seifer and Dylan's voices, Rinoa spoke. "Do you know you're wearing one of Seifer's shirts?"

Squall shrugged. "Closet. They're all mixed up." He hoped the bed was on the first floor.

"Squall, when was the last time you slept?" He shrugged again. "Seriously. I've never seen you so passively … uh, out of it. What's going on?"

"Nothing," he muttered as they passed through a doorway. "It'll all be fine. I just need… to get over it. Just need sleep. It'll be fine."

"Oh god," was the only reply. "You're pulling that noble shit again aren't you?"

He was so startled he stopped and turned toward the voice with a frown. "What?"

There was a sigh. "Squall, please tell me you not sleeping has nothing to do with Seifer kissing you." When he didn't answer, there was a small curse. "Squall! What the heck? Why does it bother you so much? No, never mind. You're delirious. Sleep first. Then we'll talk."

"I'm not delirious. I know exactly what needs to be done."

Rinoa didn't speak again as she led him across a room and told him where the bed was. Before she left though, she addressed him again. "Why can't you just be selfish? You did it once. After the war."

Then she was gone.

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Seifer picked Posy up as she tried to go after Squall and Rinoa. "He's fine. Don't worry pup. Rin will figure out what's up." He frowned. Why hadn't he noticed that Squall was that tired? He sighed and glanced up in time to see Dylan looking at him with a small smile. "What?"

"Sorry. I just… never would have guessed."

Seifer leaned back in his chair with a raised eyebrow. "That I'm talking to a dog? Or that I'm into men?"

"The latter." Seifer shrugged and glanced at Squall's abandoned plate. It had hardly been touched. "Have you known long?" Dylan asked after a moment.

Seifer turned and eyed Dylan again. "Since I was kid. You? Always known you were straight?"

"I tried the gay thing once," Dylan said in reply. Seifer blinked, his mouth opening slightly in surprise. Dylan smiled at his expression. "Wanted to see what it was all about. So yes, I know for a fact that I am straight as a board."

Seifer laughed. That was when Rinoa came back into the dining room. "Seifer, we need to talk."

His laughter died. "What did he say to you?"

"A whole lot of nothing," she said, sitting down in her chair and brushing strands of hair that had fallen from her clip out of her face and tucking them behind an ear. "Do you know when he last slept?" she asked.

He furrowed his brows. "Last night?"

"I doubt it."

Seifer rubbed a hand through his hair and petted Posy. "Well he left the bed halfway through the night and opted for the couch. I told him he was crazy and dragged him back. Did I stay up and see if he actually fell asleep? No." Rinoa was giving him a look. "What?"

"Nothing. Nevermind. Look, I don't think Squall has slept since… well probably since you kissed him."

Silence reigned for a full thirty seconds before Seifer groaned. "Ah shit. That fucking asshole."

Dylan looked between him and Rinoa. "Did Leonhart not like it?"

Rinoa glanced at Seifer. "Probably the opposite."

Goddamn that brunette.

"Seifer?"

"What?" he said, glancing towards the room Squall had disappeared into.

"I tried telling him that the past is the past, but I don't think he's listening. He should hear it from you."

He glanced back and gave Rinoa a long look. "Don't worry. We'll be having a long talk."

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"What are you doing?"

Quistis jumped and slammed the book shut, tucking it to her chest. Irvine raised an eyebrow at her. "Uh… nothing," she said.

"Uh huh. Sure. Hand it over."

She scowled. "What are you doing in here?"

"I was going to check in, see how the position was going. Also, Zell wants us all to go out for dinner tonight."

She moved the book upside down and wedged it between the desk and her knees. "The position is fine. Really, most of it is paperwork." She wondered when he had come in. She kept the office door open but she should have heard him. Irvine picked up her stapler and fiddled with it. "What?"

He sighed and put the stapler back. "Nothing. Just thinking about Seifer's house."

"It looked like Squall was doing fine there."

"I know. That's what confuses me. I just don't understand how the two of them would be able to stand each other."

"You weren't there yet I guess but when Squall and Rinoa first met, they couldn't stand each other."

Irvine frowned. "We already concluded that the two of them probably didn't have a serious relationship."

"Even if they didn't, they'd have to have been close friends to work together like that. I guess I'm saying things change all the time. And…" she blushed and cleared her throat. "… I've been… reading up on…on homosexual relationships." She pulled the book out from under the desk and set it on the desk.

Irvine gave her a surprised look. "They have books on that kind of thing?"

Quistis smiled briefly. "Well not very many. And the topic isn't put in a very positive light. But there were a few articles in this book that weren't too bad. As far as I can understand it, attraction is the same whether the couple is same-sex or not. Do you just decide to be attracted to someone? Does Zell? Well neither do… gay people. It just kind of happens." Irvine was staring down at the book on her desk so she continued. "I don't know how it differs from someone like you who's only bisexual."

Irvine looked away finally and rubbed the back of his head. "Well… I guess I'm just attracted to a lot of people."

Quistis laughed and leaned her elbows on the desk. "Well Squall certainly isn't." Then she sighed. "I don't know Irvine. It kind of makes sense. A little."

Irvine's head canted towards her again. "How?"

She nudged the book with a finger and refused to look at the long-haired brunette. "Squall is a warrior. He respects strength. And Squall and Seifer have always gotten along, in their own way. It just… makes sense the more I think about it."

"You said before that Squall is probably just reacting on his emotions and that they're all over the place because of the accident. You also said that they probably weren't going to be consistent when he finally gets a sense of reality back. I worried that he's just reacting. What if he traps himself into something that he later wants out of?"

"Then I imagine he'll get out of it."

"Seifer has the upper hand."

Quistis shook her head. "I don't know why you hate Seifer so much. Even Zell isn't as worried as you are." He raised her hand as Irvine opened his mouth to speak. "Irvine, we have to trust Squall. You're the one who told me that, remember? He's doubtless going through a very rough time, but he's still himself. And he told us himself that he was fine where he was. I didn't see any at all like coercion going on at anytime."

"Squall isn't known to ask for help."

"He will if he really needs it." She replied, frowning. "Besides Rinoa is in the same city. And we know she would never let Seifer hurt Squall."

Irvine huffed out a breath and turned to flop down on the couch placed to the right against the wall. "I guess it hurts that he hid it. Whatever went on before. He lied to our faces."

Quistis looked down at her nails. "Yes," she agreed. "It hurt. But it's not exactly an activity that's really accepted. And he was in the spotlight more than any of us were after the war. Maybe he just didn't want there to be any chance that it would get out?"

"I bet Rinoa knew everything."

Quistis shrugged even though Irvine wasn't looking at her. "Maybe. Maybe not. I'll see him you know. In a week at the council meeting if he's still planning on attending. Maybe we can get him to go to lunch of something afterwards. We can always ask him personally then."

"I have a bad feeling about that council meeting."

She wasn't going to say it, but she did too.

Just then however Zell and Selphie poked their heads through the door. "What is this, a therapy session?" Zell asked. Irvine bolted up and Quistis slammed her incriminating book into a desk drawer.

Selphie giggled. "Are you too starting something… you know, romantic?"

"What!?" Quistis's and Irvine's identical shot overlapped.

"Well Irvy's up here a lot." She stressed the last two words. "You two are talking to each other every time I turn around."

"It's not—"

"That's crazy—"

Zell laughed and Irvine and Quistis shut up. "Whatever," the blonde said. "Come one. It's dinnertime and I've picked the perfect place."

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Squall went to the kitchen after his shower and felt for the top cabinet near the hallway for the dog food. Posy jumped around his feet, ecstatic, but backed off as soon as he'd closed the cabinet. Sometimes he thought the dog knew to back off when he was walking blindly. Only when he was still did she climb all over him.

The two dog pans Seifer had invented out of old frying pans were along the bar wall in between the kitchen and the bar chairs. Posy waited as he knelt and filled the first carefully then attacked the dry food when he pulled the bag upright again. He leaned over her and stuck a finger in the water pan to see how full it was. Full enough. He put the food back in the cupboard as Posy made chomping sounds and then made his way to the living room.

"Mail came," Seifer said from somewhere near the door.

Squall sat on the couch. "Anything interesting?"

"Yep. Here."

It took Squall a second to realize that what Seifer handed him was book. "I already have two of these," he said.

"You'll like this one better. It's about the history of Gunblades."

Squall's felt his eyebrow rise despite himself. "In Braille?"

"It took a little searching, but yes."

Squall opened the cover and touched a page, not attempting to read it just yet. It was another gift from the blonde. He didn't want Seifer to keep doing this. But it was Seifer who seemed to know exactly what he needed to get through the darkness. He closed the cover and felt the outside of the hardcover. He wondered how much it had cost.

He heard Posy's paws on the hardwood as she crossed to the bedroom and passed out of earshot again then jerked his head around when he felt the cushions of the couch next to him depress. "Squall, we need to talk."

That did not sound right, coming out of Seifer's mouth. Stalling, he set the book on the coffee table. "What do you mean?"

"When you left Esthar two years ago, it hurt. And when you forgot about me, it fucking killed me."

Every muscle in Squall's body tensed. Oh, fuck. "Don't."

"Why? You obviously need to hear it."

Squall clenched his fists. "I know what I did."

"You ran away."

The darkness hadn't bothered Squall that much in the last few days. Now it giggled. "I said, I know what I did."

"Good. Now fucking let it go. It's over."

Squall glanced towards the voice. "It's not over," he said incredulously.

"It is."

"What the hell do you call all this then?" He made a vague gesture around him.

"This is unrelated to then."

"The hell it is," Squall replied, turning away and crossing his arms. "Nothing has changed." Why was Seifer bringing this up now? "You still confuse the hell out of me."

"And you're still hurting me."

Squall flinched. "I… What have…?"

"Why can't you just tell me what's wrong?"

"I'm fucking blind! That's what's wrong."

"I'm not talking about that. You didn't sleep last night. Or the night before I'm guessing."

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Squall stood. He couldn't talk about this with Seifer.

"Don't even think about it." A hand snagged his wrist and yanked him back. He swung around with the pull and clawed his nails into the hand gripping his wrist. "Let go," he snarled. "Let go!" Seifer's other hand came up and grabbed his other wrist, yanking down. Squall twisted his body to the side in retaliation and brought a knee up into the arms holding him. Seifer cursed as his knee connected and his wrists were let go. Squall fell back at the sudden lack of resistance but his out-flung arm found the coffee table and he rolled himself over it to the other side, ignoring the objects he knocked off with him. When his knees hit the floor on the other side he stumbled up to his feet and made for whatever was away from the couch.

Seifer's arms wrapped around him a second later. "You're going to talk about this."

Squall twisted and drove his elbow back towards Seifer's kidneys but the blonde twisted, throwing his aim off. Then he was being wrestled to the ground. He fought Seifer; he fought the panic and the darkness. Neither got him anywhere.

He'd told himself not to get worked up. His emotions consumed him when he did and the darkness that surrounded him expanded into him, crushing him. He didn't understand how; didn't understand why; only that terror engulfed him. The darkness became something alive. He was just a speck of dust compared to it. Nothing.

"Shh, Squall. Shhhh." The words were spoken softly in his ear. A cheek brushed against his own. Slowly Squall stopped tugging on whatever he was tugging on and exhaled harshly. He was on his back with Seifer straddling his hips, their cheeks together and Seifer's hand stroking through his hair. Squall exhaled again in despair.

He didn't know why he even tried. He didn't stand a chance against Seifer with his blindness. He would never win a physical fight again.

Seifer leaned up and Squall's lax fingers pulled away from the man's shirt. He must have been pulling on the material in his deliria. Seifer started speaking. "You hurt me. But I think I hurt you too, didn't I? I didn't fight for you. I didn't try to stop you when you left. You said before that I didn't understand why you used those Guardian Forces to forget. So tell me."

"No."

"Fine. We'll come back to that. But regardless of why, I've let go of the past. It doesn't matter anymore. It didn't matter the second I heard about the Timber accident. We made mistakes. We didn't have enough time. Fine. Done. It's done with. But you still haven't let it go of it. Squall, you have to let it go."

Squall turned his head to the side. "Why do you still care?"

"Why do you still care? Why did you come to Deling with me? Why haven't you been sleeping? Who the hell knows why this shit happens?"

"It was just lust. It wasn't supposed to last," he whispered.

"But it did."

"I hurt you."

"And I hurt you before that in the war. Squall, I forgave you a long time ago."

Squall stared at the blackness in front of his eyes trying to make sense of what Seifer was saying. It couldn't just not matter. "I used you." He finally said hoping that would get his point across.

"It doesn't matter."

Goddammit. "I'm still using you."

"No you're not. You've taken what I've offered. You're not the monster you're trying to make yourself out to be. Let the past go already." Seifer ran a hand through his hair again. "Squall. Listen to me carefully. You know I still care about you. But I'm not going to force anything on you. It's you're decision. But at least take the time to tell me what it is. And sleep for fuck's sake."

"I can't!" he hissed, bringing his head back up.

"Why not? Because I kissed you? Does that mean you liked it?" Squall felt Seifer lean down closer. "I know you liked it Squall," the blonde whispered and then Seifer's lips were on his.

Squall shot his hands to Seifer's chest and pushed until Seifer pulled back. "S-stop it."

"Why? You want it. I want it. It's that simple."

"It isn't that simple."

"It is! I don't care what everyone else thinks about it. You shouldn't either."

Seifer kissed him again. Squall turned his head away from it. "Don't… please."

"Are you're arguments failing you? They don't matter when I kiss you do they? If they don't hold up then what makes you think they'll last? Why are you trying so hard?"

"We can't keep a… a relationship hidden."

"What if I don't want to keep it hidden this time?" Squall's breath hitched despite himself. Seifer heard it and his voice softened. "We can make it work this time."

"Why? Because I'm blind?"

"No because you're free from obligation."

"We'll be ridiculed. You could lose your job."

"I. Don't. Care."

"But I do. I don't want you … to be…" He stopped as he felt wetness roll down onto his ear.

A finger brushed at the corner of his eye. "I know. It's one of the reasons I love you."

Squall closed him eyes is despair. "No," he moaned.

"I love you Squall." Seifer wiped away more tears. Then the other man's chest leaned down against his and Seifer kissed his jaw, then the corner of his mouth. More tears were wiped away. "I promise it will be okay."

"No it won't."

"Yes, it will. Let me take care of you." Seifer kissed the other corner of his mouth. "Trust me." Then Seifer's lips brushed his fully.

Squall lost himself in it. It had been too long. His skin burned where Seifer's skin touched him, his muscles went lax, and his thoughts scattered. Seifer groaned against his mouth and more weight settled on him. They were now chest to chest, hip to hip.

Squall squeezed his eyes shut as blood instantly rushed south. He pushed up into the kiss as a hand wandered over his hip and up his side. He opened his mouth wider, trying to suck in more air without breaking the kiss. It could have been seconds when Seifer pulled back an inch or it could have been hours. He panted as moved his hand along the floor near his head trying to find Seifer's hand. Seifer's fingers found his first and fingers linked through his. Seifer kissed him again once and then drove his hips down.

Squall groaned and flung his head back, arching. Immediately Seifer's lips were on his neck, kissing a trail from his jaw to his collarbone and back. Squall's free hand scrabbled uselessly against the floor. Hyne, he couldn't tell where Seifer's hands or lip were going to come in from. He could only shudder when fingers ghosted along his stomach then disappeared before playing along his thigh next.

Then the hands disappeared all together and with another groan Seifer stopped his ministrations and sat up. Squall's eyes opened reflexively and he tried to sit up, to follow, but a hand to his chest kept him flat.

Seifer's voice was lower than usually when he spoke. "You're not going to try and 'save me' by leaving are you? I don't need to be saved." Squall tried to find where Seifer's eyes would be, a few inches above where the voice originated. He wished he could see the expression in them at that moment. He'd have given anything to see Seifer again.

His breathing slowed and he swallowed. "It's… never going to be the same."

"You're eyes are beautiful Squall. This blindness doesn't have to change anything."

"But I can't… see you."

The fingers still linked in his hand tightened and then pulled his hand up. Seifer pulled his other hand up as well and then his palms were placed against a face. "Look at me through your hands." Seifer's hands fell away leaving Squall's were they were cupping his face. Squall bit his lip and then Seifer's hand reappeared on his own check. "You'll get through this. Life will never be the same, but maybe it can be something better in the end."

Squall slowly moved his fingers down, tracing Seifer's jaw with one hand. He inched his fingers around, trying not to poke but becoming more fascinated by the minute. It had been two years since he'd last seen Seifer's face. This wasn't the same. But it was something.

"Squall?" Squall blinked his eyes and stopped his movements. "Do you think you can sleep now?"

He couldn't help it. He laughed.

Seifer leaned down and kissed him and he could feel the smile. "Good. Then let's get off this floor."