I just want to say thanks for everyone's patience and thank those that checked up on me. My most recent Master's class was kicking my ass, and as of today is over, so hopefully I will be able to devote the attention needed to the fic. I know it's been hard, but if it helps, I've been going through withdrawal too. As always, I don't own Twilight. BTW Sweetmahogony, Troyis and buffy9704 all suggested the Jacob thing, and although I already had something along those lines in my head, it's nice to know great minds think alike…
Alice POV
After a lot of thought about how to torture my dear sweet brother, I decided that even a cunning mind like mine needs a little input. So I enlisted the help of my darling boyfriend Jasper.
"Why are you so set on causing him grief? I mean I get it, he fucked up, but I don't know, I guess I just don't see why you want to hurt him," the love of my life glanced in my direction with a minor look of fear across his face.
"Jazz, he hurt Bella, and he needs to pay for it. Besides, he's always so perfect and never messes up. I've never been able to get back at him for anything he's ever done to me, like the time that he used my Barbie dolls in his Science fair project about recycling, claiming that his intention had been to melt them down and use them to make a product much more useful. What's more useful than developing a fashion sense?"
"Oh come on, Alice! You have totally gotten him back for that by turning him into your own personal Ken doll." I glared at him over his remark and he recoiled a bit, frowning slightly in apology.
"What about the time that he ruined my favorite outfit on purpose?"
"Hey, you were the one that dragged him on that roller coaster to begin with."
"Yeah, but he was the pansy with the weak stomach. He shouldn't have gone on it knowing that he was such a wimp."
"Well you can't argue with that logic." His response was somewhat sarcastic.
"Keep it up; I have a laundry list of wrongdoings."
"No, I give. It's your life, and besides, you said that Bella is behind this too, and I definitely know better than to fight with you over…well pretty much anything really. There's no winning with you."
"Thank you! I'm glad you see things my way," I said with a big smirk on my face. "Now, help me figure out what to do. I have a few ideas, and I really need to come up with something good. Oh and it can't be too mean otherwise I know Bella won't agree to it."
"I'm glad to see that she has standards." I stuck out my tongue at him in response.
"So, that's where you come in. You see, I've come up with a few ideas, but I think they may all be taking things a little too far."
"Oh yeah? Let's hear them."
"O.K. So, the first idea I had was Bella and I get to dress him up in a formal gown and spy on him, like he spied on her. You know, high heels and all!" This suggestion elicited a lot of laughter from my better half.
"That sounds like fun, but I don't think Bella would go for it, from what you just said. But if she does, can I be there?"
"Be serious, Jazz, of course I'd invite you."
"And that's why I love you." He smiled and gave me a tender kiss.
"Right, well the next thing on my list, involves his car. I thought maybe I could have Rosalie tinker with it."
"That sounds like a good plan. It's always good revenge to mess with a man's car. The only problem with that idea is you'd have to tell Rose why you want to do it."
"You're right. I hadn't really thought about that. I was just counting on Rose's love of messing with Edward and getting her hands dirty to get her involved, but I forgot about her interest in gossip."
"Alright, there was also putting ink in his shampoo bottle, which is a little simplistic and April Fool's Day, but still fun."
"There's too much of a chance for angering your parents with that one so I'd take it out of the mix."
"Good point…" We had exhausted most of my evil possibilities. There was just one left, but I wasn't sure how well it would be received. Then my knight in shining armor came to my rescue.
"What if we have him give Bella piano lessons? Remember how much he couldn't stand it when you took them? Every wrong note was like nails on a chalkboard!"
"Jasper, that's perfect! It's far better than what I had planned, although in truth I think I may combine the two!"
"What were you thinking?"
"Oh, just that jealousy is always nice. Bella has a date of sorts this weekend with this guy she used to hang out with as a kid. She swears it's just a friend thing, but there isn't anything to say that it can't look a different way, or even that the guy thinks it's just about friendship."
"That's true, but wouldn't you feel a little guilty using another guy like that? I mean consider his feelings."
"What do I care? I don't know him. Besides, what are the chances that I would have much interaction with him, even if Bella becomes close friends with him?"
"Still, I just don't know about it."
"Well, I have a good feeling about it. Besides I already kind of set the plan in motion."
"What do you mean by that?
"Well, I was pretty confident that I'd need the little green monster at some point during my revenge, so I called Jacob and asked him to stop by and pick Bella up on Saturday instead of her meeting him somewhere."
"I see. Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt for Edward to see that she's actually very desirable. I think between your little green monster, and the forced contact of piano lessons we may just find success."
"I couldn't agree with you more," I replied, giving him a little Eskimo kiss. "I love you, my partner in crime."
"And I love you, my partner in life." I loved it when he sweet talked me like that, it always turned me to goo. I was just getting ready to show him exactly how much I loved it, when my cell phone rang. It was the alarm I'd set earlier reminding me to get my ass home. Suddenly, my mom was all about spending family time together.
I totally saw where she was coming from in the wake of what happened to Bella's parents, but it was really starting to eat into my Jasper time. I wasn't sure just how much more I could take. At least I could share with Bella all the genius of my scheme later, which gave me something to look forward to. I quickly kissed Jasper goodbye and promised to call him later to tell him how our suggestions worked with Bella.
With my brilliant mind, I knew that if I was going to get her to agree, I would have to hit her with some of the more devilish ideas first. Knowing she would shoot them down and eventually start feeling bad about disappointing me, I was pretty sure she would give in to the plan Jazz and I had just cooked up. It would be the perfect way to force contact between Bella and Edward, while still torturing my brother. There was little that he hated more than hearing the wrong notes played on the piano.
BPOV
In the sanctity of my room, Alice was talking a mile a minute about one crazy scheme after another. So far I had shot down: dressing Edward like a girl (an image that made me smirk, but caused more guilt than pleasure), messing with his car (an offense I was pretty sure was not the way I needed to start a relationship, of any kind, with Edward), a few practical jokes-including additives to his various hygiene products, resetting his alarm clock for an ungodly hour, and cling wrap over the toilet bowl (just gross).
"What about wrapping him up with cling wrap on his bed? He's a pretty sound sleeper, and it would be pretty funny to trap him in his bed. Oh, maybe we could do that, and that whole sleepover trick where you take the sleeping person's hand and put it in warm water until they wet the bed. That would be hilarious!" She let out an evil laugh.
"Yeah, um…Alice, I don't think so. I'd like to avoid anything that will embarrass him or lead to some bodily function mess. That means no more pranks involving his body systems. I wouldn't want anyone to do something like that to me, so I am going to have to ban those from the list."
"You're just no fun, Bella. There has to be something you'll let me do."
"I already told you, Alice, I am not really into messing with Edward. I mean, he already feels bad enough, I just don't see a reason in making things worse."
"Bella, you've never had a sibling so you don't know what it's like to get the chance for revenge after years of nothing. This is the chance of a lifetime! We're not getting any younger, and there is no telling how many more opportunities I may get like this. Please don't take that away from me…" she looked at me pleadingly.
I couldn't deny her anything with that face. "I don't want you to miss out on anything, but isn't there something that could satisfy us both?"
She was quiet for some time, appearing deep in thought. "There is one thing I came up with, but I'm not sure you'd be interested."
"Try me. As long as it doesn't involve my exclusions, it should be alright."
"It doesn't. It's just that…have you ever wanted to learn to play the piano?"
"What?" I was a little shocked and confused by her question.
"Well, it's just that I noticed how much you like to listen to Edward play, and I was thinking that maybe he could teach you, so you could enjoy it whenever you like."
"How does this torture him, besides having to play instructor to a complete novice like me?"
"That's just it. He can't stand to hear anyone play notes wrong. It's just something ingrained in him. It makes him wish he was deaf. You should have seen him cringe the one time I asked him to teach me. Needless to say, the lessons didn't last long. We both just didn't have enough patience."
"Well, what makes you think things would be different with me?"
"They probably won't, but because of the position he's currently in, he'd be more likely to just deal with it. Come on, it will be fun!" I looked at her hesitantly. "Please?" she begged.
God I'm such a sucker! "Fine." She squealed and threw her arms around me. I laughed. "What do you want me to do?"
"Nothing. I'll take care of everything. You just show up for your lessons and I'll take care of the rest. Oh, and one more thing, I have arranged for Jake to pick you up here this weekend when you guys have your date."
"It's NOT a date," I eyed her sternly.
"Right, well I don't know what else to call it, so when you guys have your non-date date thing, he's going to pick you up. I figured that it would be convenient for both of you. Plus, Edward needs to see that other guys may find you attractive, just so he can see what he's missing by not being with you."
I opened my mouth to speak, but she cut me off, "I know, you aren't really supposed to be officially together as an item yet, but it doesn't matter. Things need to be cleared up, mainly how you both feel about each other, and I think this will help. Strike that, I KNOW it will help."
Realizing, like always, that she was hard to argue with, I just gave in, "Whatever."
She let out an exasperated sigh and stood to leave. "Bella, you don't have to worry about anything. Trust me. I will take care of everything."
"I'm not worried, Alice, well not really anyway. I just don't want anyone to get hurt. There's enough pain in this world without making more of it."
"Don't be so melodramatic, Bella. No one will get hurt. My plans always work out, you'll see. Now, I'm off to set things up with Edward, and then the rest will just take care of itself after that."
She gave me a hug and walked out the door.
In the quiet that remained after she left, I laid back and allowed myself to dream of the moments to come.
I pictured myself sitting down on the piano bench next to Edward, his hands gently placed above mine as he guided my fingers to the right keys on the piano. I had to admit that my imagination was fairly good, so good in fact that I could feel the current that always courses through my veins whenever we make contact.
I dreamed that he'd lean in and whisper the names of the notes he wanted me to play, the heat of his breath tickling my neck and sending shivers down my spine. Regardless of whether I had ever thought about learning the piano, with these visions I sure and shit wanted to learn, now. These thoughts would drive me crazy if I kept them going so I forced myself to open my eyes and get ready for bed.
While running through my nighttime routine, my mind began to drift to the weekend. What would Edward do when he saw Jacob? Would he grow jealous like Alice predicted, or would he care less about him? If he didn't really care would it be because he wasn't interested or because he didn't see Jacob as a threat?
I let myself believe for a minute that Alice was right and Edward truly would become blinded by jealousy. I imagined Edward, in a jealous rage, leaping down the stairs and throwing Jacob out of the house, refusing to allow him contact with me. It was a ridiculous idea, really. I would never wish something like that on Jacob to begin with, and if it really did happen, I don't think I could be happy about it. However, it was nice to dream about Edward, let alone any other guy, feeling such a passionate rage for my benefit.
I was just getting ready to call it a night when there was a soft knock at the door.
EPOV
Alice had come to my rescue, I had to give her that. She apparently had figured out a way for me to not feel too bad about what happened with Bella while giving me a reason to be close to her. Admittedly, I wasn't thrilled about the idea of teaching Bella how to play the piano, I mean I don't like the idea of teaching anyone how to play the piano, every wrong note I hit made me squirm.
All I could think about was the only time I have ever taught another person to play before, Alice, and well, I discovered then that I had no desire to ever teach and a strong urge to find a way to become deaf. But, with the idea of teaching Bella how to play, all I could think about was having another excuse to touch her. I was so helpless in this situation.
Then, my minx of a sister dropped the other bomb on me. Apparently, Bella had a date with another guy this weekend. The idea caused my breathing to hitch and the room to start to spin. I knew I had developed strong feelings towards her, but I hadn't considered it had gotten so extreme as to lead me to nearly pass out at the idea of her being with another man. Before I knew it, my strength returned and I was walking out of my room, practically sprinting down the hallway and stairs to Bella's room and was knocking on her door.
As soon as I'd rapped on the door, I second guessed myself. What if she was already asleep? What if she wasn't ready to talk to me? Was I really ready to talk to her? What would I say? I definitely couldn't tell her about my recent realization about my feelings for her. Imagine how that conversation would go. So, um, yeah, you know that awesome kiss we shared, that I kind of appeared to regret, can we just rewind time? Maybe we could try it again?
Okay, maybe repeating the kiss wouldn't be a bad idea. I began to fantasize about her soft, pert, lips pressed up against mine, my tongue slipping past the barrier and mingling with hers. My desire for her began to swell up inside, and all rational thought began to be clouded by thoughts of being with her.
I was startled out of my thoughts when the door in front of me swung open.
"Edward, um, hi," Bella's angelic voice rang out.
"Hi. Um, I just talked to Alice, and I was wondering if you wanted to start your piano lessons right away?" That was dumb, but I really didn't have anything else.
"Um, it's kind of late." She pulled her lower lip into her mouth and bit down, and I could tell she was nervous, but I couldn't tell why. "Won't someone be upset that we're keeping them awake with my racket?" Now it made sense. She was worried about upsetting everyone else, but she hadn't exactly turned me down. I really hadn't realized how late it was.
"Oh, right, I hadn't thought about how late it was. When would you like to start then?"
"I don't want to impose, just whenever you're free and we won't disturb everyone else too much."
"How about tomorrow night? Alice will be over at Jasper's (or she will be if I have anything to say about it-I thought), my mom has a meeting with some charity group and I think my dad's working late." The simple idea of being alone with her was almost too much to take. She was quiet for a moment and I thought she might say no.
"We're really being left alone tomorrow night?"
"Sure, why not? Don't you think we can be trusted to behave?"
"Of course, you're right. I'm sorry, it's just that I never would have thought in a million years, I'd be left alone with a member of the opposite sex anywhere close to my age, let alone someone who I'm well, you know." Yeah, I knew, more than she was probably talking about.
"So, tomorrow night then?"
"Sure. I'll make us dinner, how does that sound?"
"It sounds great, but I don't want you to go to any trouble or anything."
"No trouble, I mean we both have to eat anyway, and I like cooking. It's a nice distraction."
"Alright. That sounds nice, but I insist on helping if I can. Maybe we could trade lessons? You could teach me to cook, and I'll teach you to play the piano?"
"I'd like that, although something tells me that you're getting the short end of the stick." I ruffled my hair a bit, and I knew that shit could give me a way, but I didn't care.
"You haven't seen me cook yet, for all you know, I can't even boil water." Her eyes bugged out at that statement and we both laughed. It's amazing the ease we had with each other at times. In some cases, it felt like we'd known each other our whole lives. Of course, then at other times, I felt like I couldn't make heads or tails of the situation.
"Well, goodnight." This was one of those times that I couldn't get things together. Do I kiss her goodnight? Hug her? Just turn around and walk away?
"Yeah, goodnight." We stood together awkwardly for a moment before I leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. Although, in truthfulness, I was aiming for her lips but she turned at the last minute, not that I could blame her.
BPOV
After Edward left my room, I pondered our most recent interaction. Was I really going to try and teach him to cook? Was he really going along with the ludicrous idea of teaching me to play the piano? I couldn't believe how well things were working out. To top it all off, before he left, he kissed me!
Admittedly, his kiss was on my cheek, but that was my fault. I noticed he was coming in and freaked at the last second. I didn't know what a kiss would mean at this point, and to be honest, I really wasn't sure I was ready to go there. As it was, it was a pretty big deal for him to just have pecked my cheek after we'd agreed to our "date."
Just thinking about spending tomorrow night alone with him gave me goose bumps. Not to mention, my nerves were completely rattled. I mean, first off, what were we going to cook? I was definitely going to have to stay away from anything requiring me to cut because the proximity of Edward would make me liable to slip up and cut myself instead. That would be just perfect, wouldn't it?
On the other hand, chopping could be a job for him to do. I closed my eyes and started to picture his nimble fingers. Oh how I'd just love to watch them at work with just about anything! That's when I decided, you can't go wrong with good old comfort foods. So, we would be making meatloaf and potatoes. I could assemble ingredients and guide him with the chopping and mixing.
I still needed to figure out a veggie and dessert, but that could wait until morning. For now, I was more than thrilled imagining Edward's slender fingers at work. This was the thought that ran through my head as sleep claimed me.
My night was filled with restless sleep in which I was haunted by visions of Edward and his artful fingers at work. Sometimes they were at work in the kitchen helping to create the meal I had planned for our night, other times they were ghosting over the piano keys. But the visions that thrilled me, the ones that appeared the most, were of his fingers at work on me.
Every dream started out innocently enough, his touch was always gentle. Sometimes it appeared accidental like a casual brush of the fingertips as he reached past me for something, other times it was quite purposeful like when was giving me a massage to supposedly ease the aching muscles I was starting to have from all of the packing I'd been doing.
No matter how it started, though, we always ended up at the same place. Eventually his fingers would caress my hair and face, then slowly drift down my arms and back up my torso. Soon, he'd be lavishing my breasts and stomach with his touch, and by the time that happened, his mouth would have joined in on the fun.
He'd be kissing me as if it somehow gave him the air he needed to breathe. He'd gently lick a circuit from the base of my throat, along my collar bone, up to my ear lobe, where he'd gently suck or sometimes nibble. Then, he'd come back down again and do it all over on the other side.
Things never went any further but that alone left me waking up in desperate need of a shower, not to mention a change of underwear. When I finally couldn't take it anymore, I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. I debated for a moment between a cold shower and a nice hot one. Deciding to try and relax, I turned the shower to practically scalding and stepped in. The heat was intense, but after a short while I could feel most of the tension in my muscles ease.
There was one muscle, however, that just wouldn't give in. Practically at my breaking point, I broke down and did the one thing that I thought I'd never do. I reached for the removable shower head and was never more thankful for that luxury in my life! I swear a woman invented the thing!
I started out on gentle, just letting the warmth splash over my lips. Then I reached down and pulled back my folds, adjusting the head to a low pulse setting. The stimulation of my clit brought immediate relief. Soon I was struggling with my need for more. I'd heard once that extreme temperature can create an amazing rush, and I figured since I was already trying something new, I'd take it up one more notch.
I reached over and turned the hot water down. Now, my shower was leaning towards the cold side. The rush I was getting from compensating for the intense chill that was in complete contrast with the heat flowing from me was enough to push me over the edge. My legs were shaking to the point that I could barely remain standing and the result was one of the most intense orgasms I had ever had!
It was rare that I would get there from strictly clitoral stimulation, but this was so much more than that. When my mind began to clear and my senses returned, I returned the shower head to its rightful spot, reached over and turned the knobs back so the water was warmer again and then collapsed on the floor. I remained there for I don't know how long, but soon the water began to run cold, and I was all pruned up.
I turned off the water and carefully stood up. Reaching for my towel to dry off, all I could think was that I would definitely have to do that again! It could have been the visions that started it all, or maybe it was the excitement of trying something new, but the fact remained that not only did I feel sated, but I was more exhausted than I had been in a long time.
Wrapped in my towel, I didn't even bother redressing. I just dragged myself back into bed. It was still late, or early, depending on how you looked at it, so it didn't seem odd to be climbing back into bed. As I drifted off to sleep again, only one errant thought snuck in I hope no one heard that!
When I woke up much later, I felt completely rested, better than I'd felt in a long time, actually. A glance at the clock near my bed proved I'd slept well. It was almost noon! I hadn't slept that late in a long time.
After my shower in the night, I didn't need one so I just quickly brushed my teeth, dressed, and ran a brush through my hair sweeping it up into a pony tail. Then I headed out the door and down the stairs to a waiting Esme in the living room.
"Good morning, Dear," she called to me.
"Uh, good morning to you, too. I'm sorry I slept so late," I replied.
"Nonsense, Dear. There's nothing to apologize for! I'm used to my children sleeping late! Edward's the worst. That boy would stay in bed all day if given the choice." The soft smile that played upon her lips proved she was sincere. And while it was nice hearing her refer to me as one of her children, it felt a little awkward.
"Thanks for understanding. I don't know what came over me," I lied, I couldn't very well tell her the truth could I? "I'm just going to make myself something to eat really quickly, and then if you don't mind, I'd like to pack some more things."
"Of course, Dear. As I've said before, I'm here for you for whatever you need, whenever you need it."
"I appreciate that. Can I get you anything while I'm at it?"
"No, that's okay. I ate just a short while ago, but thanks for the offer." I nodded and then turned towards the kitchen.
While I was in there, I took note of what was currently available to use for dinner tonight. There were onions and potatoes, so that was good. I almost changed my menu when I thought about the onions, I mean that would make my breath stink and stuff. He wouldn't want to cozy up to that! Then again, he'd be eating them too, plus I'd get the added benefit of having him chop them, so his eyes would be tearing up and not mine!
I felt kind of evil thinking of it that way, but getting a man to cry is hard, and that's a sure fire way to make it happen, even if the emotion isn't behind it. Not that I truly wanted Edward upset enough to cry, but turnabout is fair play, and he'd made me cry already, so I should be able to do the same. Maybe Alice was starting to rub off on me!
Realizing that we would need some fresh ground beef, I called out to Esme a request to stop by the grocery store on our way back. Of course, she obliged. That left it open to anything really for a veggie and dessert. I finally settled on a spring mix salad with a raspberry vinaigrette dressing and to help a little with the onion breath a mint chocolate chip pie. So, ingredients for both were also added to my grocery list.
When I'd finished my breakfast, or perhaps lunch was a better term for it, we headed out of the house. Back at my childhood home, things were really starting to change. Most of the outwardly visible possessions had been packed up, and the place appeared as a shell of what it once was. It was a bittersweet realization. On the one hand, we had accomplished a lot, but on the other hand, it was like saying goodbye for good.
Unable to change things, but completely in charge of moving on, I pressed forward encouraging Esme to contact someone to come by and pick up all of the furniture. In the kitchen, I decided that we should just give most of the stuff away. While I loved to cook, I wouldn't have a need for any of these things for a while, and even if I did, I'd want my own stuff. I did, however, choose to keep my parents' crystal, china and silverware.
They never used it, but I had heard the story time and time again about how it had been a wedding gift from my grandmother, who had gotten them as a wedding gift from her mother. So, it only seemed fitting that I should take them. I found the pattern deplorable, I mean it was little pink tea roses and all girly and stuff, everything I really wasn't. With the history it had, though, there was no way I could just give it away. I would take it, share the story some day with my children, if I had them, and then hopefully give it to one of them when the time came.
It struck at that moment, that I'd never really given much thought to a future of marriage and children before. I was surprised by how little discomfort I felt at the topic. In truth, I should have felt a lot of anxiety given how close I was to actually experiencing some of that, but I guess I was starting to get used to the idea.
Throughout the afternoon of packing and a quick trip to the grocery store, my nerves began to build. I kept trying to convince myself that there was no reason to be nervous. I mean, what was there to be nervous about. I was just going to teach someone how to cook, and in turn, they were going to show me one of their talents. There was really nothing to be worried about.
If that was the truth, then why did the visions of last night flood my thoughts and put me in a fog I just couldn't shake? Esme, as usual, was supportive. She asked if I was comfortable being left home alone with Edward all night, apparently not having yet heard that we had plans. I didn't plan on being the one to tell her, either. Afterall, if Edward had wanted her to know, he would have told her himself, and I didn't want to make our evening out to be more than it obviously was.
Of course, once again, if that was the case, than why did my heart feel like it would pound of my chest thanks to the anxiety I felt? Not long after getting back home, Esme departed for the evening. Edward hadn't returned home, yet, so I decided to kill some time by reading more of my mom's diary. I was skimming through the pages when I came across and entry that seemed very interesting.
Dear Diary,
Today Charlie and I made dinner together. It was kind of nice. He came over to my house, brought me flowers which was a nice gesture, even if I am allergic, and we made an incredible mess. Neither one of us is great in the kitchen, but our parents decided it was something we needed to share so they set it up.
We decided to make pizzas figuring they'd be easy. I mean how hard is it to mess that up right? Mom and I made the dough earlier in the day, I had no idea how much went into just preparing a great pizza dough! She said it was important to let it sit, but I don't remember why. So, when Charlie came by it was just right for rolling out. In the end, we both were dredged in flour. In fact, there was so much on both of us, my mom walked in and joked about the ghosts haunting her kitchen!
Charlie claimed to be an expert roller, so he wrapped his arms around mine and tried to show me how to roll the dough out. That turned out to be a disaster. Then, he tried to impress me by doing some fancy pizza dough flipping thing, and thankfully he did it over the counter, or it would have landed on the floor when it fell apart.
Eventually we managed to get something that resembled a pizza crust onto a pan and into the oven. Mom said to bake it a little first, then add all of the toppings, so that's what we did. I'm not sure that she knew what she was talking about because when all was said and done, we had a crust that was charred, with barely melted cheese and cold toppings! We had to laugh about it all. It was a complete disaster, and after seeing her kitchen, she had to agree.
Mom offered to make us something else to eat, but Charlie insisted that our pizza was fine. Something about handling responsibility and accepting the results of mistakes, it seemed to make her admire his character more, and in a way so did I. Of course, after we finished cleaning up and he headed home, I was in the kitchen making myself a sandwich while my mom just smirked at me. I really hope she doesn't mention this to Charlie the next time she sees him! I want to be worthy of him, he's the best guy so far, and even though I could tell one of us had better learn to cook or we'd likely starve, he had a lot of admirable qualities.
Just thinking about his strong arms around me while we worked makes me feel safe and warm. I'm not saying he's definitely the one, but he clearly shows promise, and that's something. Only time will tell, and who knows, maybe we'll try to cook again. There has to be something we can make without ruining it, and Mom says practice makes perfect!
I couldn't help but giggle at the idea of my parents in the kitchen. I only remembered a handful of times that either of them actually cooked and while it seems they at least progressed to edible items, I was thankful that as I aged, they left the cooking mostly up to me. I lost myself in memories for a short while of the time my mom tried to bake a cake, and it came out more like a cookie. Considering that it had started as a mix from a box, it seems strange that she could screw it up, but she did!
As always, though, it's the thought that counts. A knock on my door startled me out of my trip down memory lane.
"Bella? Are you in there?"
Edward's voice was so smooth and enticing.
"Um, yeah. I'll be right there!" I set the diary down and walked over to the door after a quick check in my bathroom mirror to insure I was at least somewhat presentable. "Hi!" I greeted him as I opened the door.
"Hi yourself," he said with a crooked grin. "I was a little worried when I got home and the house was so quiet. I wasn't sure if you had gotten home, yet, or if you'd changed your mind, or what." He eyed me bashfully, it was so cute. I'd never seen him act shy before, and it only served to dazzle me all the more.
"I'm sorry. I must have lost track of time. I was just reading my mother's diary. You know, killing time until you go home," I pulled my lower lip into my mouth, then quickly released it after I realized what I was doing. My nervous tell, was really getting to be annoying. I didn't want him to see just how much of an effect he had on me.
"So…" he said as he rocked from heel to toe, hands in his pockets."
"So…" I replied not really knowing what to say. I noticed a stray thread on my shirt and started fiddling with it.
He let out a big sigh, "Do you want to cook or have your piano lesson first?"
His stomach growled right after he spoke and we both chuckled, although he was definitely a little embarrassed and nervous too as I noticed him reach up and run his hands through his hair.
"We should definitely cook first. I hope you don't mind, but I planned out our menu with some comfort foods."
"I love comfort food. There's nothing better than a nice slab of meat loaf with some potatoes."
I smiled. "I'm glad you said that because that's exactly what I had planned."
"Really? I can't tell you the last time I had meatloaf. You're actually going to teach me to make it?"
"Well, that's the plan. Then I thought we could have some roasted potatoes on the side. I know meatloaf is often served with mashed potatoes, but I swear these are great!"
"I'm sure anything you cook is great, Bella." His voice was heavy with seduction. I practically whimpered at the complement, until I became conscious of the blush creeping to my face. There was definitely no way of hiding the impact he had on me. Anxious to distract him from dwelling on it, I suggested we head downstairs to the kitchen.
I headed to the fridge to pull out what we would need. Then, I grabbed a couple more ingredients from the pantry and set it all out on the table. I felt a little like Rachael Ray trying to carry everything over in one trip. Noticing my balancing act, Edward offered to help, but I insisted that I carry it all citing that handing any of the load over at this point was sure to cause a major crash.
Once everything was laid out, I began instructing Edward on what to do, giving him the hardest job of all, the onions. "Okay, we are going to need a bunch of onions in slices to use with the potatoes, plus some diced for the meatloaf. Nothing has to be fancy or perfect, it's a pretty rough set up," I explained.
As he chopped away, I began to get all of the other ingredients for the meatloaf together. I placed the beef in a bowl for mixing, then added an egg, some salt and pepper, oatmeal, and tomato juice. Then, I asked Edward to add the diced onion. When that was done, I had him mix everything together.
I explained that it was important for him to do this step so he could get a feel for how well mixed everything should be. Of course, I really just wanted to see my visions come to fruition. And watching him work that meat, was definitely everything I had pictured and more! Not wanting to be caught staring, I quickly grabbed the knife and cutting board he had been working with and washed them off, after placing the sliced onions into a roasting pan.
Then, I got a few large potatoes out to clean off. I set those onto the cutting board and placed them with the knife in front of Edward, telling him they just needed to be cut up into chunks that were about bite size. I checked to make sure everything was well mixed in the meatloaf and then took the slacker route by placing it into a bread pan to bake.
Meanwhile, Edward had washed his hands and begun working on chopping the potatoes. When that was done, I added them to the roasting pan, along with some garlic salt, paprika, and tons of butter. After a quick toss of everything, I covered it all with foil and added it to the oven. We both ended up at the sink, me to wash up my now soiled hands while he was busy cleaning off the cutting board and knife once more.
"That's was easy," he exclaimed. "The only hard part was dealing with chopping the onions. I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life!"
We both had a good laugh about that. "I have one more thing for us to do right now, then before we sit down to eat, I have a salad to assemble, but that's about it."
"So, what's left then?"
"Dessert, of course."
"There's dessert?"
"Yup," I smiled, "mint chocolate chip pie!"
"As in mint chocolate chip ice cream?"
"Yes. I hope that's okay." I waited, as it looked like he was thinking his response over then let out a sigh of relief when it finally came.
"I'm sure it will be wonderful. I love mint chocolate chip ice cream. I mean, what's not to like? There's chocolate, mixed with mint. It's like a cold after dinner mint. And a mint, is something we'll definitely want after we eat all those onions. At least you will, if you have to be close to me while I instruct you on the piano," he joked.
I didn't know how to react. I didn't want him to know that I had been thinking the same thing; that just seemed out of line, so I chose to just steer the conversation in another direction. "Well, I hope you have some frustrations to get out, because we have to make a crust."
"What?"
"Yup! We're going to crush a bunch of Oreos until their nothing but crumbs and then smash them into a pie tin."
"Can this dessert get any better?" His eyes were lighting up like a kid in a candy store, and I was beyond thrilled by his reaction. "So, how do we do this?"
"It's pretty easy actually, we'll just take a bunch of Oreos, toss them into a Ziploc bag, and begin pounding on them with all of our might. Heavy pans work best, I've discovered."
"Sounds great, let's get started," he said while rubbing his hands together.
We split the package of cookies between the two of us, and just went to town. It was kind of freeing just wailing on the bags. I was a little self conscious at first, not wanting to lead Edward to see me as a violent person, but when he seemed more focused on his cookies than on me, I relaxed a bit and got the job done.
Sure, we could have done the same thing with a mallet, or a rolling pin, but where's the fun in that? When the cookies were reduced to mere particles, we poured both bags into the pan and began to pat it down tightly with our fingertips. A couple of times, I purposely headed into his territory, just dying to make contact with him, and both times I had to quickly pull back because of the shock to my system that ensued.
Once we have the pie crust sufficiently packed down, I spooned out the carton of ice cream that had been thawing since we started to cook. It was a little melted around the edges so it came out and spread around well, but I did end up making quite the mess. At one point, I had ice cream streaming down my forearm after falling from my wrist. I licked it up not really thinking and noticed Edward's sharp intake of a breath.
Embarrassed, I stopped, and grabbed for a nearby towel to wipe the rest of the mess off. I had Edward cover the pie with plastic wrap and return it to the freezer, while I finished cleaning up. By the time all of that was finished we still had at least a half hour before dinner would be ready so we decided to just head into the living room to chat. Edward offered to teach me some piano, but I insisted that I needed to focus too much for that and couldn't; knowing that if I got caught up in things, dinner would be ruined.
So we settled into an awkward silence in the living room, instead. I wasn't sure what to do or say, and I didn't want to chance ruining anything so I just sat there nervously gnawing my lower lip while I toyed with that stray thread again. It wasn't until I finally got the nerve to look up that I noticed he had been staring at me, and as soon as our eyes met, I freaked and looked down again.
He noticed my quick action and must have read something into it because he finally spoke. "Bella, I'm sorry."
I chanced a glance up at him again and could see the sorrow in his eyes, it practically ripped my heart apart. "Edward…"
"No, please, hear me out." I stopped short and looked at him again. He got up from his seat and came to kneel in front of me as he clasped my hands in my lap. Our closeness had my heart beating like the flap of a hummingbird's wings.
"I messed up, and not because I kissed you. Our kiss, it was wonderful, beyond wonderful, really. I freaked out. This is all just so new to me. I've never felt this strongly for anyone. Not to mention given the circumstances of our situation it just seems even more out of place. I feel almost wrong having the feelings I do for you. It's just," he let out another exasperated sigh and quickly ran a palm through his hair, then glanced down at our newly rejoined hands, "I don't know how to do this."
"I've never felt so out of control, or out of place in my life. I'm not that guy, Bella."
"What guy?" I couldn't help but butt in.
"I'm not the guy that falls head over heels for someone. I don't believe in love at first sight, and yet ever since meeting you I haven't been able to shake this feeling of connection that seems to exist between you and me. This feeling that I have, it's been present since before my parents' little announcement, and try as I might, I can't seem to ignore it."
"I don't WANT to ignore it. This," he made a gesture between the two of us, "it scares the hell out of me. I don't regret our kiss, or anything that led up to it, but I truly regret my reaction. The kiss stirred up those thoughts and feelings so much more than it's possible to explain, and it took all of my self control to not take things any further. I don't want to be the kind of guy that forces my hormones on you. You deserve better than that, and I just wanted you to know that." He was quiet for a minute, and I just sat there joined to him and gazing into his eyes. The tension in the air was palpable and I truly didn't know what to say.
Essentially, Edward had just admitted to having strong feelings for me. Feelings that seemed to mirror the ones I was having. Suddenly, I was faced with a dilemma. Do I tell him that I share his feelings and fears? Do I shrug off the situation as being no big deal? Maybe I could crack a joke about the whole thing, citing how late night hours make people do strange things.
As the seconds ticked by, I just knew I had to say something, but when I opened my mouth to speak, I was saved by the bell, so to speak. The timer on the oven went off, and as our time was cut short at the moment, I simply let out a sweet thanks to him for telling me everything, then I kissed him on his cheek. He stood and held out his hand to help me up. Then we headed into the kitchen to check on everything, still joined at our palms.
I knew I would have to talk to him about everything that he had just said. And I knew I'd have to summon the courage to tell him how I was feeling, too. For now, though I had been granted a short reprieve to put my thoughts in order. That's exactly what I did. While I took everything out of the oven and gathered the ingredients to mix up our salad, Edward left the room to set the table, having decided to use the formal dining area tonight.
His absence allowed me to put things into perspective. I knew that if he could be brave enough to bare his soul to me, I would have to do the same. All that was left now, was the how and when. It had to happen at some point while we ate, maybe dessert would be the best. One thing was clear, there was a serious need to talk and it had to happen before we were in close proximity again, or I would lose both my nerve and clarity of mind. He just had that impact on me, and I while I cherished it, it also scared the Hell out of me. With my plan in mind, I began to bring dinner to the table.
At least the need to fill our mouths with food would reduce the need to fill our time with conversation, giving me more time to steel myself to the big reveal that was about to take place.
Okay, so I really hope everyone enjoyed it, and it ended up being worth the wait. It's one of the longest chapters so far, and in the middle of writing it, I had to deal with a mouse in my living room! I shit you not, so show a writer some love for handling the mouse, the master's class from Hell, and finally getting out my love for all of you! Thanks again for reading, favoriting, recommending, and of course REVIEWING! Next to post will be the dinner and piano lesson. I'm not sure who will be telling it, maybe both of them, but I decided this chapter was long enough already at over 8,500 words! Oh, and please forgive any errors, I was too anxious to finally post it to proof it all! I hope it worked out, though! Love you all!