Double D was still embarrassed by yesterday's unfortunate events. He remembered Kevin and him making out in the pool, Double D's instinctive leap into Kevin's arms, his legs clenching around his partner's waist. It was after that that things started to get heated up almost making their pool a hot tub.
Kevin had knelt down, forcing Double D to sit in his lap as they were half submerged into the cold pool during the surprisingly, hot fall day. He couldn't believe that they were making out, passionately merging their mouths together to allow their tongues entrance into the others hot, eager mouth. They were growing aroused and the feeling of their members growing firm in the cold water was a contradictory feeling of calm and arousing sensations that neither of them were ready for.
Double D couldn't bring himself to touch Kevin anymore than he could for fear he may fall backwards into the water, getting water up his nose and ruining the mood. But nothing ruined the mood more than hearing the front door open and close in the house, Kevin's mother returning home early for once. Kevin was in the midst of kissing Double D's neck before he saw a shadow in the house. He knew it would make a scene with his parents knowing that their now two sons were experimenting with each other, probably deducing it as a young teen phase rather than a pure emotion of love and lust.
Kevin let Double D off of his lap gently, trying to return to normal without suspicion. Double D did good about practicing the turn underwater move to change positions, Kevin watching and giving Double D a few words of encouragement before his mother came out and smiled.
"Here you two are." She said with a smile, glad to see the two boys getting along well and Kevin being so good with Double D.
"Hey mom, just teaching the squirt a few swimming moves." He said, hoping his voice wasn't hesitant and shaky like Double D's was.
"I'm practicing to join the swim team." Double D said smiling, hoping to give his new mother a sense of pride, unlike his own mom. She now had possibly two athletic kids in the house, make that three concerning her own husband.
"How wonderful! I hope you make the team. Good luck!" She said before she went back into the house to start dinner.
The two boys sighed a heave of relief before Double D started to float on his back while his new brother submerged his embarrassed, his red body underwater to cool off. His skin was mimicking that of his hair as if a dye had run off his head and soaked into his skins cells.
Double D sighed when the memory of yesterday began to subside. He was never so embarrassed in his entire life, nearly caught in a dirty, perverted act such as making out with your own step-brother. He worried that Kevin's parents may not be so open to the idea of two boys becoming infatuated with one another as well as engaged in sexual activity. He didn't know of his new parent's political, social, or religious views just yet and he feared that he may cause yet another negative scene as the one that had occurred in his own home. He didn't want his new parents to hate him or to think poorly of him. He didn't want them to see Kevin in a different light then they already did or to disown him like his own parents had done. He wanted to be with them as a family, to get to know them and care for them as if they were his own. He wanted that more than anything. He was scared that his new parents knew he was gay and that he and their son were hitting it off the way they have been, that they may get rid of him as a nuisance and send him off to a foster home or to his uncle. He didn't want to move away. He had friends here, an education to tend to, and a new brother he really admired, possibly even loved.
Double D, gasped at the thought of having any sort of emotion of love towards Kevin. He assumed that these little acts they were partaking in were just a phase, something to help him get over his hell that he for the most part had started to forget about. He hasn't had another outburst or panic attack in days and he was worried about it reoccurring and causing more trouble. He wanted to be free from that hell but was Kevin truly the right guardian angel to do it? Could he face those demons in Double D's head, the ones that were forcing him to see himself differently.
It was still History class and the class was having a silent self-study session. Double D had asked to go the restroom for a little bit, privately to clear his head but expectedly to use the facility. He sighed in front of the mirror, glad he was alone before he studied himself in the mirror. He was curious as to why his body was suddenly more bigger and taller, his style seemed more darker, and his eyes seemed colder. He gasped when he realized what he was seeing, his own demon. The one that was causing him to falter into an abyss. He was changing and not in the way he had hoped. He was not himself because of the demons he was facing. He wasn't who he normally was, what he once was before. He was changing, and he was afraid for the worse.
He looked at his other self, the darker side of him was the one who was much more open to doing things than he would naturally do himself. He was seeing himself as someone who was much more like Kevin but not as good-natured as Kevin. He feared that deep within him, he was a monster. That it wasn't demons he was facing in Hell, but himself as the demon. He didn't want to fall further into the cracks, to forget why studying and caring for people despite their negative sides were important to him. He did notice he was a lot more forward and open than he had been and he didn't think much of it, that it was a bad thing but was this what he was becoming? A delinquent who couldn't care less about studying, education, about his friends who he hadn't seen much of lately, about his sense of style of living, his obsessive quirks that made him who he was? Was he becoming the monster before him?
He closed his eyes tightly and shook his head, glad that when he opened his eyes he saw himself in the mirror again. Was he hallucinating? Was he seeing things that weren't really there but merely in his head? Was he losing his mind? He thought he was recovering from his condition, from that hell and because of Kevin he was returning to himself again. Yet, he knew that wasn't it. He was relying on Kevin for support and not caring about what mattered to him. He wasn't recovering, he was falling deeper in that hell and becoming the very demons he was facing, someone who was allowing his suppressed urges and newfound freedom get the better of him. He wasn't in a constructive environment like he was before where sticky notes and labels marked everything for him, and that excelling in school were for the sake of getting his parents to notice him, his main purpose for living. He didn't have them there to impress anymore and because of that, he had no purpose to study and perhaps that was why he was slacking off in class and his notebook wasn't even a tenth complete yet. He always needed ten notebooks per class because of how much he wrote down. Now, he would probably only have half of that by Easter time. He was slipping through the cracks into Hell and he knew having a guardian angel couldn't save him at this point. He had to save himself, he had to rid himself of that negative side of himself that was so persistent in taking over. He was afraid of the person he was becoming, who he saw in the mirror just moments ago, and he knew that fighting him was the only thing he could do. That running away and ignoring it wasn't going to solve anything. He had to face it, if not now, but soon.
He had to get ahold of himself, to put himself back together because he was evolving into something worse than what he expected to become after he had stripped away the old layer into a much more proud, mature version of himself, not a delinquent, badass who didn't care two wits about school, friends, and even his new family. He felt like he was using Kevin simply to please his own desires without giving it any thought to as to what Kevin wanted and to his feelings.
He decided that from this day forward, he would not rely on Kevin for support. He would not visit him in the night or make a move on him the way he has been simply to make the bad memories go away. He would not rely on Kevin anymore. He would stay in his room, sleep in his own bed, finish the labels in his room and maybe some in the house if his new parents would allow it and he would communicate more with sticky notes. He would return back to his own style of living and try to be his old self and fight these demons the best he could, on his own.
Kevin was getting antsy that Double D hadn't returned back to his seat from the bathroom. He was worried about him and was tired of staring at his textbook without really reading it. He sighed, almost ready to ask the teacher if he could go find Double D and make sure he was alright, given his condition Double D had talked about with the teacher the day before.
It was at that time that Double D returned, apologizing softly to the teacher before taking his seat and strangely, avoiding eye contact with Kevin which made Kevin a little suspicious that something happened and Double D was just keeping it to himself. Kevin was sitting behind Double D and with light kick to Double D's chair, he half-expected the twerp to turn around and face his neighboring peer, but to no avail did Double D comply with Kevin's persistent attempt to get his attention.
Kevin was astounded by Double D's resolve to ignore him but paid it no mind for the next ten minutes before the bell rung and he attempted to catch Double D before he had to go to his next class but it seemed Double D was in a rush to leave and it made Kevin suspect that the dork was avoiding him for some reason.
Double D made it to his next class and then when French was over he was ready for swim practice and yet he was nervous about it as well. He was starting to panic and he knew that was never good, however, he didn't want to worry Kevin over his weird little outburst so he sucked it up and went to practice, nervous about seeing Jason again.
When he arrived and found the locker where he put his new black speedo and towel, he looked around, worried he would be seen getting undressed, sadly he was right. He was startled by a hand on his shoulder, Jason standing behind him and enjoying the view of the naked teen in front of him and loving the expression on his face when he realized he was caught undressed.
"Glad you showed up. Ready for practice?" He asked, seeming oddly polite to Double D.
"Uhh, yes I am. I just hope I can do a good job." He said looking a little uneasy about performing and not making the cut. He then looked embarrassed, realizing he was fully naked in front of Jason. He didn't understand why but he was actually getting a response in his lower region from being stared at by a stranger who had made a move on him once before.
"If you'll excuse me I need to go to the restroom." He said taking his stuff with him to change into one of the stalls before Jason pulled him back and pinned him to the lockers smirking.
"I can sense you're having some difficulties. You aren't your usual self today. Very evasive and discreet. Don't let that mindset hold you back in your tryout today. I would hate to have to disqualify you from the team simply because your mind isn't in it." He stated, smirking and leaning in to kiss Double D before a hand pulled Jason back by the shoulder, the football star glaring at him roughly.
"Chill out fish boy. Keep your mind out of the swamp before I throw you into one infested with crocodiles." Kevin threatened, standing in between Jason and Double D now.
Jason looked a little startled before he glared at Kevin, a smirk crawling on his face. "Why if it isn't the jock from the land of football here to meddle in my business, yet again." He said acting resentful against Kevin for some odd, personal reason.
"What are you talking about?" Kevin questioned not understanding who this guy was and why he seemed to hate Kevin for no particular reason.
"I guess you don't remember your fifth football game in freshman year. You and your little gang picked on a little kid who always wore yellow, didn't talk, avoided eye contact, constantly rocking his body back and forth, and always carrying around a stuffed turtle. You picked on him with your little football squad, taking his toy away and made him cry and freak out then insisted on beating him up to shut him up."
"That sounds like autism." Double D interrupted looking upset and sympathetic before glaring at Kevin for doing such a thing.
Kevin was speechless, knowing he was at fault in this situation and not knowing how to make it up to the swim captain. He knew he had to not only for Double D's sake but also because it was the right thing to do. "I know my actions that day were out of line and there is no excuse for what I did, not even peer pressure of fitting in would suffice. I'm sorry. I had no idea. I don't even think I understood what autism was at the time and ..." He stopped looking at Double D before looking depressed. "Even if I didn't know, I would never want to bully someone simply because they are different or smarter than me." He said looking upset and seeming like the truth was harder for him to accept than it was for anyone else would in forgiving him.
Jason looked upset, not expecting Kevin to apologize and act like he was truly upset about what he did. It put Jason at ease some but it didn't change the fact he didn't like Kevin. He then sighed and looked pouty, looking away before noticing the two of them together.
"Whatever, so what is your relationship?" He asked to Double D and Kevin.
"We're siblings...now." Double D added in order to clear up the misunderstanding about not always being brothers before recently.
"Oh, I see." Jason said before he walked away. "Head to the pool, nerd. You might be first." He teased before heading back to the pool area form the locker room leaving the two siblings together, something Double D hoped to avoid. Kevin looked at Double D, not caring if he was naked and hadn't gotten dressed yet. His eyes looked stern and serious, as if he was forcefully insisting that Double D explain what the deal was earlier with avoiding him and why he seemed so out of it. The look gave Double D a sense of panic, but he didn't speak up about it. He didn't want to and standing there in the silence with Kevin was becoming a deafening torment that he wish would end so he could avoid the matter at all cost.