Push, lift, restart. Push, lift, restart. Push, push harder, lift, restart.

Daryl and I are digging holes to bury the people we shot...

Sophia included...

Daryl looks pissed. He growls every time he digs.

I'm too weak for this. All this pushing is making my arms hurt, but I wont stop. I need to do this.

I clean the sweat on my forehead. I lift my shirt a bit to see why I'm in so much pain.

There's a dark bruise on my left side.

Even the fresh scar I have looks red.

I sniff and look at Daryl as I let go of my shirt when he growls louder than usual.

I hope he didn't notice it. I dont want to give him more trouble

Theres a small blood river flowing down his left leg from his hip. His stitches must've overstretched.

I call his name but theres no answer. He keeps digging angrily. He insisted on burying Sophia himself so who am I to stop him?

"Brother." He puts his hand on his blood-soaked hip and turns to face me "You're bleeding. You need to rest."

"Pussy"

"What the fuck did you just say to me?!" I hate when he calls me that!

"Not you. Resting. It is for pussies. I ain't a pussy"

"You're anything you want to call yourself, thats for sure, but you're not a pussy. You need to rest." I say. He looks so tired, so angry, in pain, but most of all, sad.

I know he's feeling guilty for not finding Sophia. I am too.

I simply hate seeing him like that.

Daryl looks down and takes a deep breath. "Almost done." He turns and keeps digging.

I move to where he is and help him finish the hole.

We stand by the graves. Watching. Leaving the corpses of what once were human beings behind. Carol couldn't stand here for long. She's in the RV crying right now.

Daryl walks away pissed.

I apologise silently eyeing Sophia's grave. I turn to look at my brother's back as he walks away.

Should I follow him?

I look down again. Maybe Daryl wants to be alone for a while, I wont push him.

I feel tired. Not physically though.

Tired of being scared, tired running away, tired of crying, tired of loosing people.

I'm tired of caring if things happen to the rest of the group.

I wish I could just ignore everyone for a while. Be just Merle, Daryl and me.

I wish I never told them to join the group. Merle would still be here, Daryl wouldn't be on a roller coaster full of confusing emotions and I wouldn't feeling like shit.

The group walks back to camp. I watch the graves a little longer.

I hear something, is it a fight?

I stand up as soon an I realise who's voice is it. Shane and Daryl are close to each other. Both are fighting verbally. I look at them from my spot.

They wont stop until someone's dead, will they?

Thats what Shane wants. I can see it in his eyes.

I am mad at him. If something happens to Daryl I'll kill that fucker with my bare hands.

No one else seems to notice the fight until Daryl beats Shane.

Shane responds and things go south. I start running to where they are.

The rest of the group is coming after me. They're all the way back in camp and they could still hear them? Wow.

Once again Shane is winning. He ends up on top of Daryl again, except this time he's not holding him back. He wraps his hands around Daryl's neck.

Shane is choking my brother.

I am scared. He's going to kill him!

Daryl fights as hard as he can. He grabs Shane's shoulders, arms, tries to punch, tries to kick.

"Shane stop!" Rick shouts behind me. I see Daryl's eyes looking at me.

They look scared too. Ive never seen that look on my brother's eyes. They also look more and more lifeless with each passing second.

He takes Shane's wrists and just stops fighting.

No, don't give up, stupid!

I am so angry now. I jump on Shane's back. I wrap my legs around his waist. I put one of my arms around his neck and hold it with the other one on the back of his head just like one of Merle's friends taught me once.

I squeeze my arms by pulling towards myself as hard as I can. Shane stands up.

Shane stumbles back trying to punch me.

He let go of my brother to try to take me down. Good.

Daryl rolls to his side coughing and gasping for air.

Shane growls. He takes my hair hard and pulls even harder. I scream in pain and let him go.

He throws me to the ground.

My ribs crack again the moment I hit the ground. I could actually hear them snap but I don't have time to feel pain.

Everything is happening so fast.

I look up to see how he lifts his fist to beat me.

I cant move. I can't even breathe. I cough.

Daryl crawls weakly to where I am. He looks desperate and in pain.

I stop coughing.

I close my eyes hard waiting for Shane's fist. I'm ready for it.

I wait. I am expecting it...

...but it never happens.

I open my eyes and see Rick holding his Python just like he did to my brother when he tried to kill Jim. I look at him in surprise.

We're all panting. My side starts to burn.

Shit, not again!

Shane puts his hands up in an 'I surrender' sign.

Rick puts the gun down, Shane growls and walks away.

At least its not as bad as last time. At least I can move.

Daryl stands up slowly. He has a blackeye.

He helps me up and looks at Rick angrily. My body starts shaking in pain.

I try to hold it.

Rick tells Glenn to ask Maggie to check on us. Glenn nods and walks back to the farmhouse.

The remaining people is quiet. They look at us as we slowly walk away.

I could hear Rick curse.

We walk back to our tent.

Daryl told me that we're moving.

Well, he really didn't say 'moving' but thats what we're gonna do, at least to the other side of the farm. He says the group is broken.

I agree, theres been a lot of shit going on between Rick and Shane lately and I think it has to do with Lori.

I walk out to look for Maggie. Maybe Hershel is too angry but I need someone to check on Daryl's injuries and maybe mine too... To keep an eye on that bruise that came out of nowhere. Not to mention the terrible pain I've been feeling since the adrenaline in my body faded.

"Everything alright?" I look back to see who's calling me. It is Rick.

"Considering that Shane almost killed Daryl and probably me if you hadn't stopped him" I say a little pissed. "Yeah, we'll live."

"I'm sorry. I'll try to keep an eye on him."

"Yeah, you do that." I look back at some of the packed stuff ready to move far away from the rest of the group and mumble "I don't think that'll be necessary, though"

Rick looks at the stuff surprised. He eyes everything carefully to look back at me later. "You're leaving?!"

"If you mean to the other side of the farm, yes. We need to stay away for a bit and let your group fix some problems first. By the way Shane is one of them"

"Our group." He says shocked "you are part of it. Its our group."

"Well, I find it funny. Our group seems to be trying to kill we three! Maybe already succeeded with one of us." Rick shakes his head.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, just keep them away from my brother for a while and no one will be hurt." I take a deep painful breath "anyway... Have you seen Maggie? I need someone to redo Daryl's stitches and check on some stuff for me."

"I just talked to her." He says putting his hands on his hips, just like a sheriff. "I came to see if you or Daryl could help us find Hershel. Someone needs to watch for that nasty bruise you got there and re-stitch Daryl." He saw it? It must have happened when Shane pulled me away from him. And to make it better..

"Hershel is missing?"

"He went out. Probably have a drink or two. Maybe more. We need to find him before anything happens to him. To check on you guys and Lori."

"Lori?"

"She's pregnant." I think of it for a few seconds. I knew she was pregnant, but...

"I know."

"You do?"

"Since the beginning. Maybe I should've told you."

"You did good..." Silence. Then I talk again

"She told you?"

He shakes his head "I found a few boxes of abortion pills in our tent"

What the fuck?! "Abortion pills?"

"She says she threw 'em up, but I'm still a bit worried. Thats why I need Hershel."

I look down thinking about it. To be honest I wouldn't risk my life for Lori Grimes, but Rick... He's a good man. I think he would risk it for me or my brothers.

"I'll go with you."

"Daryl would be ok with it?"

"He's injured and mad like a cow. He wont agree." I say laughing slightly. Rick snorts. "I'll go tell him" I lie.

"Thank you."

I nod. Daryl wont need to know. I mean, we'll just get Hershel and be back.

I don't like lying, but if I tell him I'll make him more angry, so yeah, he doesn't need to know.

I'll go find the old man and be back before he notices.

What could possibly go wrong?

I smile to myself. I love fucking sarcasm.

"Please keep an eye on Rick" Lori says when I walk to where the Sheriff is. Shes been acting weird since she's pregnant. I cant stand her. She's just trying to justify Shane and look like she cares about Rick. THATS FUCKING BULLSHIT!

"He's a grown man, I think he can do that himself"

"Just keep him safe."

"What can I do about it? This place is going to hell"

"Yeah, he's trying hard to prevent that." I roll my eyes.

"He won't be able to." I tell her trying to not lose it.

"Shane is working on it too."Everything Shane did or will do is her fault!

"Shane? Shane is one of the main problems! There are people in this group who think that what Shane did was justified. As long as he's around things will keep going wrong."

"I know you two can't stand him" she insists

"No I can't anymore. Maybe before, but now he tried to kill my brother, broke my goddamn ribs again and caused Rick an unnecessary problem with Hershel"

"but he did something that needed to be done."

"He's dangerous, Lori! You cant keep him and Rick in one shared space!"

"I know he's a hothead."

"No." I say firmly "he's dangerous, Do you really think Otis sacrificed himself for a random kid just because? Or for a Man he didn't even know?"

"Otis was killed by walkers."

"For fucks sake! He knew how to handle walkers. Otis was the one who was putting them in the barn! You need to think about it!"

"What are you saying?" She asks looking shocked and scared. I stop walking and turn to face her. "Shane killed him! Open your eyes, Lori! He killed Otis, he was about to kill Daryl, And he will kill whoever the fuck he wants to kill!"

"He's not a murderer."

"And why would he kill somebody who's trying to help?"

"There needs to be an explanation! Maybe he was pinned down. He said it." She says desperate. I'm getting tired of this. I'll talk and go, either she understands or not.

"I knew guys like him thanks to Merle. Believe it or not, a lot of them and sooner or later, he's gonna kill somebody else. Cold blood. He wont care if its good or bad. He will do it again." She stares at me with fear in her eyes. She opens her mouth as if she's going to say something, but closes it again. "I'll stick to Rick. Don't worry about him. Just keep an eye on your boyfriend"

I turn and walk to where Rick and Glenn are waiting for me. I get on the car and head with them to find Hershel.