I own nothing.
Chapter 14
BPOV
I couldn't look at him anymore. I couldn't handle the pain on his face, the guilt that was coursing through my veins or the knowledge that our baby was gone. I became silent. I cried silently. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to move. Everything hurt. My heart was broken. I failed my baby. Edward's baby. I pressed on the morphine drip and slowly faded off to numbness.
I woke to Edward laying in the small bed next to me gently stroking my cheek. I immediately began to cry. Silently I cried. I looked away from him. I pressed the morphine drip again. I couldn't handle being awake just yet.
I woke to the doctor examining my neck and shoulder. It hurt. Then I remembered, I lost our baby. Our baby was gone. I looked and saw Edward. He didn't look good. He was pale and stubbly. His hair was in more disarray than usual and his clothes were wrinkled. I looked in his eyes and they weren't the green I was used to. Because I lost our baby. I looked away from him. I could feel the tears slip down my face. I pressed the morphine drip. Still not ready to be awake.
Edward was standing in the corner running his hands through his hair. He looked worse than last time. Renee was sitting at the end of the bed crying. Definitely not dealing with Renee. Edward ran to my side noticing that I was awake. I pressed the morphine drip.
"No Bella. Please. God no." I tried to tell him I couldn't do it but nothing came out. I'm sorry Edward.
"It's been four fucking days Carlisle!" Edward was shouting. Rose was by my side. I just looked at her. She tried to smile but she knew me well enough to know it wouldn't do any good.
"Hey there." I shook my head at her and cried. "Bella, you have to come back to us soon honey." She knew I couldn't do it yet.
"Bella? Bella?" It was Edward. He'd changed his clothes but now he had dark circles under his eyes and a very prominent stubble. "Stay with me Bella, please, I need you. I can't do this without you." I could only shake my head. I looked away from him and pressed the drip.
Esme was combing my hair. Edward was holding my hand. I was in a different room. Charlie and Renee were at the end of my bed. It was too much. Too many people to face. I reached for the morphine drip.
"It's not there Isabella. You have to come back to us now." The soft velvet voice I loved so much sounded broken. "I can't do this alone anymore love." I cried. I couldn't face him.
The family came to visit. I just stared. Our baby was gone. I wasn't going to be a mommy. I wasn't going to watch Edward rock our baby to sleep at night. I couldn't deal with this anymore. I had to get out of this hospital bed. I had to be away from the sterile smell and the nurses who looked at me with pity.
The next day I spoke. "Edward, I need to go home." My voice was scratchy and my throat hurt. Breathing was only slightly easier. Edward moved closer to me and ran his hand up and down my face.
"Okay love. I'll talk to the doctors." I just nodded my head. Then I remembered. "Edward?" He turned and rushed to my side. "Alec?" Christopher had already been to visit but I couldn't remember seeing Alec.
"Bella, he's still in a coma honey." I nodded. Edward left and returned moments later with the doctor.
"Mrs. Cullen, how are you feeling?" How the fuck did he think I was feeling? Asshole.
"I lost our baby." It was all I could think to say. I felt Edward immediately stiffen beside me.
"Yes Mrs. Cullen, I understand." Really? Did he once have a baby growing inside of him that he lost? I didn't think so.
"You do? Tell me doctor, how much does it hurt?" There was venom in my voice. I could actually see Edward's eyes grow wide with shock.
"Mrs. Cullen, you're not the reason your baby is gone. You were hit by a car. You're lucky to even be alive." The man might as well have smacked me across the face. I sucked in a breath much too loudly.
"FOR FUCK'S SAKE, YOU THINK THIS IS YOUR FAULT?" Edward was staring at me and shouting. I didn't know what to say. I closed my eyes and cried. He kept yelling things I couldn't bring myself to listen to until Emmett and Jasper forced him out of the room. I couldn't deal with him right now.
"I want to go home. Now." The doctor looked down at me with disappointment written all over his face. I could still hear Edward yelling from the hall and things were being thrown around.
"Mrs. Cullen, many women blame themselves after a miscarriage. You have to understand there is nothing you or anyone else could have done to save your child." I couldn't take it anymore.
"Shut the fuck up and let me out of here." Now I was yelling. I didn't want to hear his excuses for me. Rose came in the room and asked the doctor to go. Alice followed shortly after. They helped me to the bathroom and to get dressed. Thankfully they didn't say a word to me. Edward was sitting on the side of the bed when I came out. His eyes were red and his hands were shaking. I did that to him.
"I need to see Alec before we go." I had to make sure he was still alive. I knew he was the one who grabbed me and tried to move us out of the way. He sacrificed himself for me and my baby. I had to thank him.
"Anything Isabella." It was a whisper. I couldn't place the look in Edward's eyes so I stopped looking at him. I just looked down. A nurse came and put me in a wheelchair and Edward took me down to the ICU to see Alec. He looked awful. He was hooked up to everything including a tube to help him breathe. Edward told me he was in a medically induced coma to help with his head trauma. I took his left hand in mine, the only part of him that didn't appear to be in a cast and I kissed his palm.
"Thank you Alec. I know you tried so hard." It was all I could say. I nodded to Edward and he pushed me down to the car.
I breathed in the fresh air once we were outside and then heard the shouting. The paparazzi. They were everywhere. I looked up at Edward completely frightened. They were far enough away that they couldn't hurt me but I hated them and didn't want to be around them. I didn't want people to know what I had done. He leaned down and gently lifted me from the wheelchair, tucked me into his chest and took me to the waiting Mercedes.
Neither one of us spoke a word the entire ride home. He carried me out of the car, up the elevator and to our bed. It felt so good to be home, to be back around familiar things. Edward said something about a bath and I just nodded my head. He slowly removed my clothes and we both looked down at my broken body. I had a small incision on my abdomen and most of my body was discolored from healing bruises. There would be no baby bump.
Edward gently lifted me and took me to the bath. He climbed in with me and like so many times before he washed and conditioned my hair. He slowly washed my body being careful of my casted arm. He washed himself and then dried us off. He sat me down on the bed and slowly brushed my hair. We still hadn't spoken a word. His gentle hands and loving touch were becoming too much. I didn't deserve him anymore. I didn't deserve his love. I wasn't strong enough to protect his baby. I couldn't be the wife and mother he deserved. I broke down and began to cry.
He pulled back the covers and moved us into the bed. I didn't deserve him holding me but I couldn't help myself. I needed him. I clung to him. I was dying inside, I could feel it and the only thing keeping me alive was his touch. I promised myself it would just be for tonight and then I would leave him so he could find someone worthy of his love. I felt his hand move my hair away from my neck. He moved closer and whispered.
"I love you Bella." I didn't say a word. I couldn't for fear of breaking. I felt his breathing slow and knew he was finally asleep. I joined him shortly after.
Another week passed and I stayed in the bed. People might have been there, I don't know anymore. Edward, he was always there. Sometimes in the bed, sometimes on the couch with his laptop, a few times I could hear him crying in the bathroom. The sound of his sobbing was my own personal hell. I did that to him.
He would bring me food and try to talk to me. I couldn't talk to him. I could barely look at him. I couldn't eat. Carlisle came to tell me if I didn't start eating he was taking me back to the hospital. I couldn't go back there, back to where I lost Edward's baby. I think I ate.
Every night Edward drew us a bath, wash me and put me to sleep. Every night he crawled in next to me and told me he loved me. Last night he told me he missed me. He told me he was sorry. I don't know why. I simply cried. I couldn't look at him, I couldn't talk to him. I knew I had to find the strength to leave him.
Today I said hi to Edward when he wished me a good morning. He smiled. It was the first time I could remember seeing him smile. He kissed my forehead.
I thanked him for our bath tonight. He smiled again. I noticed that my chest hurt a little less when I saw Edward smile.
The next Wednesday morning Rose came over.
"Isabella Cullen get your ass out of that bed!" She'd obviously had enough. I slowly got out of the bed and pulled on some sweats and one of Edward's t-shirts. If I didn't go down there, she'd be up here soon.
I made my way downstairs and sat on the couch. Edward saw me and smiled. I love his smile. I tried to smile back, but I don't think I succeeded.
He brought me over a glass of juice. He stopped trying to ask me what I wanted days ago and just forced me to drink juice and eat some food. I still wanted none of it but he turned on his authoritative persona and all I could do was obey and eat.
"I'll leave you ladies alone." He excused himself and disappeared towards his office.
Rose stared me down. "You look like shit."
"Thanks."
"So you still have the ability to talk? Good to know. Don't worry all you have to do right now is listen." I just continued to stare at her.
"Bella, you've been through hell honey, I get that. But it's time to come back now. It's time to live again sweetie. I can't imagine how you must be feeling, and I won't even pretend to try, but you aren't doing your baby any good by trying to join him. You're slipping away from us Bella and I won't put up with it." I couldn't hold it together any longer. Not that I was doing such a great job before.
"God Rose, it hurts, it hurts so bad." I started to cry. But this time I started to talk. "I should have been stronger Rose. I should have been able to save my baby." Rose came over to sit next to me and pulled me to her.
"Oh Bella, it's so like you to blame yourself honey. But I need you to understand that it's really fucking stupid of you. You were hit by a car Bella. You almost died. You can't blame yourself for this. I hate to say it, but unfortunately women have miscarriages for no reason every day. No reason, and you were hit by a car. If you need someone to blame, blame the asshole that was driving the cab."
Bella, you still have family and friends who love you and need you. I need you. And Edward, my god Bella, this is slowly killing him too. He loves you so much and he feels so helpless. You have to come back for him Bella he needs you. And he doesn't blame you, he doesn't blame you at all sweetie." That made me cry even harder. That was my biggest fear.
"How can't he Rose?"
"Because you didn't do anything wrong." The beautiful velvet voice that I couldn't stop denying I needed so much was beside me. I looked up and he was nodding at Rose whispering his thanks to her. She squeezed me tight and got up and left. I clung to Edward and let my pain take over.
"Oh Edward, it hurts so much. I wanted our baby so badly. I wanted to make you a daddy." I could feel Edward's tears on my forehead as he held me in a vice grip.
"I know Bella, I know. I wanted all those things too. I wanted to see you grow big with our child and watch you become the wonderful mother I know you'll be one day. We can still have that someday Bella. Just not right now. I'm so sorry I didn't keep you and our baby safe Bella." And I felt the sob in his chest. I looked up at him in shock.
"You did Edward. I would have died if it wasn't for Alec. And I never let you have someone protect the baby like you wanted. This isn't your fault Edward." He held me to him even tighter. The look on his face was so intense it startled me.
"If you really believe that then you can't blame yourself either Bella. I don't. I need you. I need you to help us get through this. I can't lose you too." In my moment of clarity I knew I had to believe in Edward. I looked up at him and nodded while we both cried and held each other tightly.
"I'm going to find them Bella. I'm going to find who did this. We're close baby we're so close I can feel it. And they're going to pay Bella. I promise you." I no longer minded what Edward was talking about, oddly I found some comfort in it.
"I want them to suffer Edward." He looked at me slightly surprised and I could see a small smile playing on his lips.
"They will love. I promise you they will."
Edward lifted me from the couch and took me over to the kitchen. He sat me down on one of the breakfast bar stools and looked at me.
"Will you please eat something for me Bella?" I couldn't deny the look of hope on his face. I smiled. A real smile for the first time in so long.
"I'll have some eggs please." I didn't really feel like eating but I knew it would please my husband. He slowly walked over to me and kissed me on the forehead.
"Thank you."
After our lunch Edward took us up to the bed to take a nap. Neither one of us slept, we just laid there holding each other with a need I couldn't begin to describe. He caressed my cheek and I knew he was telling me he loved me. I snuggled into him in the hopes that he knew I still needed him. As early evening rolled around Edward's blackberry began ringing incessantly. He finally released me and reached over to pick it up.
"Sonofamotherfuckingbitch!" He leapt from the bed and began to dress in his suit. I could tell he was talking to Emmett by the tone of his voice but I couldn't understand what was going on. He eventually finished the call, dressed himself, and came to the side of the bed.
"I have to leave Isabella. I'm so fucking sorry." The look in Edward's eyes could only be described as rage. "The last thing I want to do is leave you right now but Jasper found the cab. I have to go handle this. I don't know when I'll be back. I'll call you. I love you so much my Bella." He started to stand and I pulled his hand to me. I held it in mine and brought it to my lips.
"I understand. Just promise me you'll be safe. I can't live without you Edward." He looked down at our adjoined hands and smiled the sweetest happiest smile I had ever seen. The pain in my chest lessened a little. He looked back up at me and the light was again shinning in his sparkling emerald eyes. He stopped moving and sat down next to me.
"You haven't held my hand in so long Bella. You always used to. Whenever you needed some support you'd take my hand. It always made me feel better. I've missed you so much." He leaned forward and gently pushed his tongue into my mouth as he kissed me. I licked his lips and chased his tongue around our mouths for the first time in weeks. Every ounce of pain, joy, and fear I had I poured into that kiss and I felt it all back from my Edward. "I'll be safe." With that he left.
He didn't return that evening. I spent the entire time thinking about how I pushed him away when we needed each other the most. How I stupidly thought I could ever leave him. The realization that I even considered that forced me to see how truly screwed up I was. The feelings of regret for shutting him out when he obviously needed me were overwhelming. I just wanted him to come home. He didn't.
Around eight the next morning a phone started ringing in Edward's bedside table. I opened the drawer and found a cheap looking cell phone I'd never seen before. I looked at it and for some strange reason I felt like I should answer it.
"Hello?"
"Bella? Thank god you answered! Did I wake you?" I immediately felt relief hearing his voice. "I can't really talk now Bella." He was shouting but I could barely hear him over the traffic that was on his end of the phone. "I'm out of town taking care of things. I should be home in a couple of days love. Rose and Alice are on their way over to stay with you. I'm so sorry but it has to be done Bella." I knew what he meant and I wasn't going to object.
"I understand Edward. Please be safe. I miss you. And Edward, I need you to know I love you." I realized last night that I couldn't remember the last time I told him that.
"God Bella, you don't know how much I've missed hearing that. Thank you love. I'll be home soon and this will all be over. I need you to destroy this phone when we're done talking. There's another one in the office I'll call you on tomorrow. I love you Bella." The phone clicked and Edward was gone.
I pulled myself out of bed and took a shower. Getting around was beginning to get a little easier now that my bones were starting to heal. I still had a hard time combing my hair but I figured the girls would be here soon to help. I remembered what Edward said and I took the phone to the utility room and wacked it with a hammer a few times. I then disposed of half the pieces in the trash compactor and the other half in the disposal. I got the new phone from the office and took it to the bedroom.
As I was heading into the kitchen to fix some tea I heard my girls at the door. They came in with bags of food and Alice had her stay at home spa supplies with her. The girls helped me with my hair and painted my nails and toes. Rose gave Alice a facial and I just watched reveling in the normalcy of the afternoon. I must have grown quiet because Alice looked concerned and asked me what was wrong.
"It's just hard. And Edward and I just started talking again yesterday. I know it's my fault for shutting him out but I wish he was here." There, I was communicating again.
"Oh smarty B, they'll be home before we know it!" And now Alice was using my nickname. I shot Rose a nasty look and she didn't even attempt to look guilty. She didn't need to. If she hadn't come over yesterday I wouldn't know that Edward didn't blame me, we wouldn't have yet begun healing. I owed that woman everything.
"Do you know where they are?" I knew Jasper and Emmett were a little more loose lipped when it came to Rose and Alice than Edward was with me. They both just shrugged. Great. No information.
We ended up ordering a pizza and watching bad TV in Edward's and my bed. I even ate a slice. We slept there all night and I finally felt a very small sense of peace coming back to me.
The next day we didn't hear from anyone. I was starting to get extremely nervous. I had Rose and Alice take me to the hospital to check on Alec. The doctors had finally taken him off the medication and were waiting for him to wake up. They said it was a sign of improvement. He didn't look any different to me.
Oddly enough I was still followed by bodyguards, a lot of them. Rose and Alice each had a guard and they came with us and drove the Guardian when we left the Penthouse. Two black SUVs escorted us, one in the front of the car and one in the back. I knew they were full of Edward's men.
The girls also took me to my previously scheduled appointment with Dr. G. I wished Edward was with me but I understood why he couldn't be there. Dr. G was such a sweet woman. She expressed her sincerest condolences but didn't dwell and she checked me over. She said I had no lasting physical effects from the accident or D&C and should have no problem conceiving in the future. Then she asked if I wanted to go back on birth control. I didn't know what to say.
"Isabella, unfortunately I've treated many women who have miscarried. It's a painful and long term event to deal with. If it weren't for the accident I have little doubt you would have had a successful pregnancy and a beautiful child. I see no reason you can't do that in the future. For the time being however, I recommend we let your body heal and you continue with birth control for at least the next three months." I nodded my head. "I also suggest you keep the lines of communication open with your husband." She handed me a card.
"This is the number of a woman I greatly respect. She's a therapist and she specializes in dealing with parents who have lost a child. Think about giving her a call." I took the card and thanked the doctor and left with Alice and Rose after getting a Depo shot. When we were securely in the car I heard the cell phone Edward had me get from his office buzz. I brought it with me in case the guys tried to call. I didn't recognize the number.
I'm so sorry I missed the appointment. Please tell me you're okay – E
I'm okay. I miss you – B
We'll be home tomorrow. Tell the girls for me. I love you – E
I love you too – B
With a sigh of relief I told the girls their men would be home tomorrow. We picked up some bad Chinese and some movies and I disposed of parts of the phone at each place we stopped while we were out. We headed home to pass the time until our men were back with us.
EPOV
I laid my phone down after ending the call with Rose and hoped I was doing the right thing. I didn't know who else to call. I didn't know anyone else that might be able to get through to Bella. She wouldn't listen to anyone and she hadn't really spoken since the "accident". She wouldn't even look at me and it hurt like hell.
I thought telling her our baby was gone was going to be the worst part. Little did I know it was only the beginning. My Bella vanished right before my eyes. For four days I watched her wake, look at me and let reality sink in and then press that fucking morphine drip. On the fifth day I threatened everyone and anyone I came across that if they didn't unhook the fucking thing I'd unleash my wrath on the hospital. I think I even yelled at Esme. Carlisle had the doctors remove the morphine that evening. He knew she wasn't using it for the physical pain just as much as I did.
I needed my wife back. I needed us to deal with the loss of our child together. But even without the morphine Bella had check out on life. She just cried and stared at nothing. I tried everything I could think of to comfort her. She didn't fight me. She did nothing. I was dealing with the grief of losing our child while watching my wife slip away at the same time and it was fucking killing me on the inside.
Rose had to be the answer.
My phone rang again and I heard Jasper on the other end. "We found the owner of the cab Edward. He's in his late seventies and I don't think he even knows he owns a taxi. Do you want to meet with him?"
"No." Another fucking dead end. But we were getting closer. Information was coming to us much harder which meant we were looking in the right direction.
"Interestingly enough, he does have a son who works at the state department in Albany."
"Mother Fucker!" I fucking knew it. From the moment I was told Bella was involved in a hit and run I knew it was one of two people. Felix or James. At first I thought it was definitely Felix because the reports I was getting on James had him so drunk he couldn't find his own cock if it wasn't in a hooker. There was no way he was pulling this stunt off. So it had to be Felix right? It seemed reasonable to me at the start but the more I thought about it the more I realized if Felix was obsessed with my Bella, he'd come after me and not her. That led me in only one direction. The Senator.
"I thought you might find that interesting. Emmett and I are on our way to talk to him."
"Keep me posted." Jasper ended the call and I heard a knock at the front door. I opened it to a disgruntled looking Rose.
"Jesus you look just as bad as she does. Give me a few minutes but don't go far." Rose let herself in and began yelling for my beautiful wife to get her ass out of bed. Yeah, Rose was definitely the answer.
I stood in the hallway listening. As fucked up as the concept was, I was worried Bella blamed herself. I heard her say it at the hospital. I couldn't believe it at the time. I still had a hard time believing it now. She was run down by a fucking car and blamed herself for losing our baby. It was so wrong but it was exactly like Bella.
The moment she broke down and actually started talking I felt like my prayers had been answered. I could actually breathe for the first time since Emmett came into my office weeks ago. She had said about three words to me in just as many weeks and it was killing me. I couldn't stop myself from going to her when she asked how I couldn't blame her. Blaming Bella wasn't even a thought that crossed my mind. I had to make her understand that.
We laid in the bed that afternoon just holding each other. So many unspoken words were expressed through each touch and look. Mutual guilt and grief. Sadness for what would be no more. Understanding that we needed each other more than ever. We were just starting to reconnect when Emmett called saying he'd found the cab.
As much as it pained me to leave, I hauled ass to a chop shop in southern New Jersey to meet up with Jasper and Emmett. The only thought that pushed me out the door was of Bella grabbing my hand before I left. That simple act gave me so much hope.
The cab was about to be ripped to shreds but my boys found it in time. They also found an envelope containing pictures of Bella and a medical report indicating that she was pregnant. I was furious. It had to be the Senator. He had such a knack for getting his hands on personal medical files. And he fucking new my wife was carrying my child. The rage took over and I gladly welcomed it. Hell, I fucking greeted it with a handshake.
I closed the envelope and looked up. "Where is he?" Emmett and Jasper smiled.
"Albany. He's there all week."
"We're leaving."
We climbed into Emmett's Hummer and took off for Albany. I had some of my other men meet us there. We spent the next two days hunting down the few men that were involved in the attempt on my wife's life and the death of my child. I killed the driver with my bare hands strangling him and then letting him breathe a little to prolong his death. I did this until I felt some satisfaction from his suffering. It took a while. I also slit the throat of the cab owner's son who was the go-between for the Senator. I enjoyed watching him bleed out.
We also planned our attack on the Senator. Decoys were already in place to make it look like we were still in the city. Considering we were taking out a Senator, we had to be extremely careful. I thought a car accident would be fitting but realized it was too complicated and would create too much attention. My problem was I wanted the Senator to know what was going to happen before he died. I wanted him to know it was me, and I wanted him to know I was going after his son next. I chose death by heart attack. Simple enough, plausible, and I could be there to watch.
I still couldn't find any proof that James was involved in the actual attempt on Bella's life but proof didn't concern me. I'd tell her what was happening and she'd have to accept it. With her attitude of late, I doubted she'd need any proof either.
It was Friday afternoon and I remembered Bella was scheduled to meet with Dr. G. I felt like shit for missing the appointment and only hoped she'd understand and this wouldn't set her back or make her think I blamed her in anyway. I texted her to make sure everything was okay and let her know we'd be home soon.
Emmett had located the house the Senator used while in Albany. We made sure we were fully armed and headed over at dark. Jasper quietly picked the back lock and we made our way inside. We sat at the kitchen table waiting for the Senator to return home. He did so about an hour later. He walked into the kitchen and flipped on the lights to find us sitting there.
"Hello Aro." I greeted him. His face immediately fell and turned deathly white. Yeah, fucker knew what was coming. Jasper and Emmett didn't say a word. They knew this was my kill.
"Mr. Cullen, what can I do for you this evening?"
"Fuck the formalities Aro. We both know why I'm here." I stood and Emmett rose to move the senator to my seat. "What did she ever do to you Aro?"
"I'm not sure who you're talking about Edward." Fucking politicians.
"I'll ask one more time. I'm not here to fuck around Aro. What did she ever do to you?"
"That whore ruined my James with the drugs. And you, you just had to have him followed didn't you. You just couldn't leave him alone. You needed to be taught a lesson. I was keeping our end of the deal, you weren't." I went to strike him as Jasper grabbed my arm.
"No marks Edward." He was right. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't leave a mark on him.
"Your son is a spoiled drug addict who did nothing but beat the hell out of my wife. He's only alive because that's what she wanted. And you had her run down in the streets! KNOWING SHE WAS CARRYING MY CHILD!" My control was slipping so I had to fight to maintain my composure.
"An eye for an eye Aro. James is next. And I'm going to enjoy watching your son squirm in pain for every time he laid a hand on my wife." I was pacing in front of him and I realized I was enjoying myself.
"He had nothing to do with this." Aro was pleading fruitlessly for his son.
"Quite honestly Aro, I don't give a fuck if he did or didn't." I was so close to his face I could feel his disgusting breath on my skin. "My wife is at home mourning the loss of our child. My heir. And your son is going to spend days dying a painful death because of it."
I took out a bunch of pictures and set them on the table next to the Senator. Pictures I found so repulsive I couldn't even stand to look at. The Senator looked down at them and started shaking.
"Yes Aro, I'm not only going to kill you, but I'm also going to ruin everything you've ever worked to create." I had to thank Emmett for suggesting we plant some rather age inappropriate porn on the Senator. Jasper grabbed the pictures and placed them in Aro's briefcase.
"Please don't do that. I've done some good things in my time. You'll destroy all of that." His shaky voice was filled with dread and I had to laugh.
"No Aro, you destroyed that the minute you didn't keep your son away from my wife. You destroyed yourself and your family when you arranged to kill my wife and child." I leaned forward and pulled the needle out of my pocket. I stuck it in his thigh and pushed the fluid into his body. It would induce a heart attack and dissipate in his system. No one would ever know what really happened.
"It will all be gone Aro." I was circling the table watching him as he began to grab his chest. "No memorials for your great work as a Senator. No child to continue the Alistair legacy. It will be hard, but my wife will heal in time and we'll have more children to carry on my name and life's work." I chuckled a little as the Senator's face started to turn red and he grabbed at his throat.
"No one fucks with my wife and lives." I stopped in front of him and smiled. "I'll see you in hell." Aro fell off the chair and onto the floor grasping and clawing at his chest as I stood over his jerking body and just watched. After a few minutes he eventually stilled. Jasper checked and confirmed he had no pulse. My work here was done. I was going home to my Bella.
When we arrived back in the city it was still very early so Emmett and Jasper followed me up to the Penthouse knowing their women would be there with Bella. I found all three of them snuggling together in our bed. It comforted me to know my sister and Rose loved Bella so much and they'd been with her when I couldn't. I quietly made my way to the shower so I wouldn't wake them. Standing under the amazing rush of hot water I contemplated what I would tell Bella. How I would tell Bella. I knew she'd have a setback once she found out the Senator was to blame. I figured I'd wait until I had my hands on James and then talk to her.
I dried myself and then climbed out of the shower. Bella was sitting on the bathroom counter holding my boxers. She handed them to me and I put them on. I moved over and placed myself between her legs. "I missed you love." I kissed her forehead and held her in my arms for what seemed like hours.
"Did you get them Edward?" I knew she wasn't ready for this conversation. She was still too fragile for this right now.
"Let's not worry about that now Bella. There are still some loose ends I need to take care of."
"Edward, you promised you'd tell me. Did you get them? I, I need to know."
"Yes Bella. And they suffered. I promise you that." I dreaded the question that was coming next.
"Who was it?" I looked at her and it seemed she was even afraid of the answer but there was also a look of pure determination in her eyes.
"Bella, I don't want to answer that just yet."
"James?" It was a shocked whisper. I'm positive Bella was expecting it to be a random hit and run or a drunk driver or something. She was innocent by nature and didn't fully understand how evil this world could really be. I stood there and with all the strength I had I told her the truth.
"No Bella. It was Senator Alistair and he's dead now." I couldn't place the look on Bella's face and it scared the hell out of me, her eyes were wild and frantic and she went completely pale.
"The Senator? On purpose? But why? I've, I've never done anything to him." I didn't know what to say, I just pulled her close to me and felt her begin to sob.
"It is all my fault then. He came after me and got our baby instead." She said it so quickly it took a moment to register. Bella jumped down from the counter and threw up in the sink. She started hyperventilating.
"Oh my god. It really is all my fault." She bolted out of the bathroom before I could understand what was going on. I chased behind her as fast as I could. She ran through the hall and down the stairs through the great room. She was heading for the balcony.
"STOP HER!" I yelled to Emmett and Jasper who were in the kitchen. They came running out at the same time I did as we saw Bella swing the door to the balcony open and run to the edge gripping the railing with her uncasted arm. I froze. I heard Rose and Alice on the steps behind me. Bella was softly rocking herself back and forth staring down at the street far below. Each time she rocked forward she looked further over the railing. It was almost as if you could see the internal battle in her mind trying to convince herself it was okay to jump. No one moved.
"Go get her Edward. You're the only one she'll listen to now." Rose's voice sounded completely demanding. Her words snapped me out of my trance and I made my way to the balcony door. I opened it slowly and Bella just continued rocking back and forth like she hadn't even noticed me. I stepped outside the slightest bit and Bella stilled. I stepped towards her and she began talking but her voice was empty.
"I thought maybe it would be okay. I thought maybe it was some crazy drunk or something, an accident. I thought maybe it wasn't really my fault." She was quietly crying and then started rocking back and forth again while staring intently at the street below. She sounded more like she was talking to herself.
"Bella love, it was not your fault. You can't control what other people do. You couldn't have stopped him. I don't blame you Bella. I've never once even thought of blaming you. This doesn't change anything. I blame him, and he suffered the consequences because he was the one responsible, not you Bella, not you."
"That doesn't bring our baby back. Our baby is never coming back. Our baby is dead because Aro wanted me dead."
"No Bella," I slowly inched closer to her. "He knew you were pregnant Bella. He had your medical records pulled from Dr. Gerandy's office. I don't know how yet, but he knew Bella. He went after you because you were pregnant with my baby. It was his sick and twisted way of hurting both of us. He was trying to send me a message not to mess with his son. He found out I was having James followed. You were just caught in the middle. Our baby was caught in the middle. It was a power play Bella. He was a crazy and delusional man. He did this, not you." She seemed to be considering my explanation, allowing for the possibility that she wasn't the reason for the Senator's actions.
As I started to feel some sense of rationality from her, Bella looked over with the coldest most distant look I'd ever seen on her face.
"James dies too." Her words were like ice.
"He's next, I promise you he's next." I was only a few steps away from her. "You have to believe me Bella, I don't blame you, no one blames you. You didn't kill our child Bella." She slowly removed her hand from its death grip on the railing and tentatively held it out to me. A wave of relief crashed over me as I grabbed her hand and pulled her into me. We fell to the floor holding on to one another crying. We stayed that way for a long time, just the two of us letting go of our grief, our guilt, our fears, and then our trepidation in attempting to find each other again.
Sometime hours later Bella started to shiver from the cool October air and I picked her up and took her inside. The others had already left so I took Bella back upstairs to bed. I laid her down under the covers to get her warm and then began packing a bag.
"Edward, please, please don't leave me again. Not so soon. I can't do this without you. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I was so wrong, I won't do it anymore, I promise." I immediately rushed to her side realizing what my actions must have looked like.
"Bella, we're going to the house in the Hamptons. Together. We're getting out of here for a little while. Just the two of us, I think we need it. Is that okay?" Bella gave me a small smile but one I hadn't seen in days. I knew the house in the Hamptons was special to my sweet girl. It was where we first made love, got engaged, got married, and now it would be where we healed.
"I think that's perfect Edward." And she got up to shower and help me pack our clothes.