AN: A new chapter already? I'm far too generous and kind.

Chapter 14

I might have a boyfriend. One that isn't actually gay. Whoa.

Sure Edward Cullen was the undead. The fact that he's a vampire and not zombie makes it a little better. We all have our faults. I'm addicted to gummy bears.

It must be hard being always wanting to drink blood. On one hand, it keeps a person alive. That's a positive, but using it as a food source has a serious drawback. It seems pretty sticky and would make a terrible mess when sucking it out of a person's neck using your mouth. That stuff can stain. Blood also smells disgusting like metal. Blah.

I've been pretending to be like Edward all night. What must it be like to actually sleep like the dead? A steadied my breathing and tried to clear my mind like those crunchy yoga types. This was fucking boring. No wonder they were a bunch of vapid airheads. They lost brain mass due to completely tedious breathing exercises.

Winston was caterwauling outside of my door. I had previously tried my exercise in pretend vampire relaxation techniques with my cat in the room. It didn't work at all. He kept jumping onto my belly and hissing at the window. It made me wonder what was outside and trying to get in.

There had been someone or something that had been coming into my home without an invitation. Originally what was just a theory was now a fact. Monsters existed in Forks and I had no doubt that they would have no problem sneaking places they were unwanted. Winston had been keeping whoever was coming in out of my bedroom. There was a reason I had to let him sleep with Charlie tonight. I think Charlie kind of liked it. He was a certifiable cat lady.

My plan was to catch the perp in action and take him out. It was destined that I become the heroine this town needed. I had a piece of sharpened wood under my pillow. A lighter and a really old can of hairspray that used to be my mom's sat on my dresser so I could light up the stalker like fireworks. That hairspray was ancient and extremely flammable. It was proof that Charlie really needed to clean out this place. He still had her tampons under the sink.

God, this was a waste of good television watching time. Supernatural was on and I really wanted to get my Dean on. I never go to bed this early. I might actually end up asleep and be up at dawn.

There was a sigh.

It was one of those breathless types that one would use when they are enjoying the view. I popped one eye open and found Edward staring at my chest. My vampire buddy was a bit of a pervert.

I pretended to turn in sleep and grabbed Mr. Pointy. I sat up and pointed my sharp pet at Edward. "Like me without a bra, Tom? Are perky nipples your thing?"

He fell backwards and landed on his butt. "I . . . I . . . I thought . . . You . . .Tom?"

"You thought I was asleep, Peeping Tom? Are your stalker skills not up to snuff?"

"I thought you might be sick. I saw your bedroom lights go out and you head up to bed, so—"

"So you were standing outside and staring at my house?" I waved Mr. Pointy at him. "I mean that is fairly creepy, Nosferatu. Though how exactly should we describe your rationale when you sneak into my house? Mostly those times that I'm taking a shower, you pervert!"

I grabbed my pillow and threw it at his head.

He caught it easily. "I didn't see anything."

That was doubtful. He wouldn't look me in the eye.

I glared at him. "Truth?"

"I might of saw something but I promise that I looked away immediately!" Both of his hands remained in the air as I jumped up with the stake ready to strike. I bounced a bit on the mattress. "The only reason I was there was to get used to your scent. I don't want to eat you!"

"Is that your bullshit excuse for the sneaking into my house? You could have asked to sniff me at school. The shower was just a way for you to get a free peep show." Mr. Pointy was raised in the air. "I'm going to dust you, stalker."

"The shower was probably a horrible idea, but in my defense, the steam accentuates your scent. I was trying to make the process of acclimation faster so we can be together," he explained. Edward started smirking at the stake. "You know that won't hurt me, right?"

I threw my poor piece of wood onto the floor and put my hands on my hips. "Mocking my weapons isn't going to help stop me from being angry, Cullen."

"How did you know I was coming in here, Isabella? I'm a creature of great stealth and cunning." He climbed onto my bed on his knees and looked up at me.

"I think somebody thinks too highly of his skills. You aren't very smooth, Edward. I almost caught you about a million times. Winston is also quite the amazing guard cat." I put my hand on his head. I felt like a vengeful goddess. "Don't forget that I'm smarter than you."

"That you are." His hands went to my hips. "You are the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen. These pajamas pants are awe inspiring."

"They're covered in dancing hippos, you flirt. Flattery is slightly getting you somewhere," I admitted.

He pulled me down, so we were face to face. This was so freaking cool. My heart was beating like a drum.

"Dancing hippos are the most alluring creatures to have on sleepwear, Miss Swan." He rested a hand on my cheek. "I want to try something."

"You want matching hippo pa—" I began, but was interrupted by a kiss.

Our lips touching filled me with a fire. We started to roll around the bed and continued to make-out. My hands grasped his ass. It was amazing. It was sexy. It was—

Edward flew across the room with his eyes shut tight.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Edward?"

He opened up his eyes slowly. "We need to take this slow."

"You wanted to eat me." I was completely matter-of-fact about the issue.

Edward gasped. "How did you know?"

"I'm smart." I tapped my skull as I moved off the bed. I went over to him and took both of his hands in mine. "We'll go slow. When we finally have sex, I'm going to rock your world."

I wasn't actually planning on having sex with him anytime soon. I just got my first kiss and wanted to savor that first. Sex was something to work up to and I refused to let Edward completely take it off the table. The added bonus was getting him all riled up. It was my new favorite hobby.

"We can never make love," he said sadly. "I can't risk your life for that type of intimacy."

I kissed his nose. "Really, silly stalker? I'll be having sexy times with you. This is a guarantee."

"Isabella, sweetheart, we cannot—"

I kissed him slowly. He wrapped our arms around my back. My breasts pushing into his chest. I was very certain he was happy for the kissing. I whispered into his ear, "Never bet against me, Cullen. Now get the hell out of my house."

"What?" He tried to kiss me again and I put my hand over his mouth.

"I haven't forgiven you yet for being a weird sneak. Get going, buddy." I moved away from him and pulled down my tank top that had ridden up.

His face fell. "I was hoping to watch you sleep. Vampires don't sleep and it gets really boring. Watching your lovely face makes the night easier."

"That is some messed up shit. It's really sketchy and freaky, Edward! I'm sorry you can't sleep, but go read a book."

"I've read everything ever written, Isabella!" He gave me an adorable pouty face.

I grabbed a paper bag filled with books that sat on the top of my desk. "Here's some new material for you to read."

Pulling out a book, Edward sounded confused as he read the title, "The Babysitter's Club?"

"Charlie picked them up at the old book sale at the library. He thinks I'm twelve." I pushed him to the window. "You look like a Mary Anne to me. I'm sure you'll enjoy her adventures."

"Bella, can I see drive you to school tomorrow?" Edward asked hopefully.

I glanced at the clock. There was still some Supernatural left to watch. "Yeah. Fine."

"Isabella?"

"Hmm?"

He kissed me hard. Moving his head away , he said, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Ever sneak into my room again and I'll make you a crispy critter," I informed him.

Edward smiled. "Okay."

I didn't believe him at all. Not one little bit.