"My name is Doctor Connor. I've been looking after Miss Cartwright."
"How is she?" they all asked, practically in unison.
"Miss Cartwright has suffered a number of injuries from her fall. A broken collarbone, some broken ribs and severe bruising. She's also suffered a contusion to the brain ..."
"Contusion?" Josh asked, concerned.
"Effectively a bruise to the brain, as a result of the impact of the fall. The good news is that Miss Cartwright's responding to stimulus. She hasn't fully regained consciousness yet but she is responsive which is encouraging. Our scans have shown bruising but no extensive bleeding."
"So she's going to be okay?" Josh asked hopefully.
It's too soon to say for the sure, but the early signs are good. However, we want to keep her in intensive care for the next day or so to monitor her, to check for any swelling to the brain."
"Is she going to require any surgery?" Julia gripped Derek's hand tightly.
"No, but we can't rule it out depending on how Miss Cartwright responds in the next day or so. The reason we want to keep a close eye on her is to check that the bruising to her brain doesn't cause bleeding or swelling. A build up of pressure in the head can be very serious and should that happen surgery may be required."
"Thank you doctor" said Julia. "Can we see her?"
"We're keeping her sedated at the moment, but yes of course you can go in and see her, although please only one at a time. And please don't be alarmed by her appearance. She is attached to numerous machines and tubes, but that's all just to help us monitor her condition. She's breathing on her own which is good, but she does have an oxygen mask on to assist her."
"Thank you" Josh said quietly.
"The nurse will be in shortly to take you to see her, okay?"
He made his way out, leaving Julia, Josh and Derek standing there, relieved that her injuries were not worse, but concerned that she wasn't out of danger yet. Julia walked over to Josh and enveloped him in a big hug. "See, she's going to be okay. She's gotten through worse than this."
He nodded tearfully. "I hope so."
Derek was finding it hard to control his emotions. His first emotion was relief, followed by a natural concern for her. She was still badly hurt, with broken bones and an injury to her brain, and he knew it would take time for her to heal. But his overwhelming emotion was guilt. Josh had accused him of causing the accident, and deep down he knew he was right. He'd seen the state Karen was in when she'd left his apartment earlier today. If he'd been directing her he'd never have let her go on stage. He sat back down and buried his head in his hands. He'd made such a mess of things, he wasn't sure he knew if he could fix them anymore.
He'd been trying to protect her, but he'd only succeeded in hurting her in so many more ways. Julia was right, how could she ever trust another man again? He hadn't thought about that. And now he was the reason she was lying in a hospital bed again. It was only two or so years since she'd been lying in this very same hospital fighting for her life. Back then it was because she took a bullet meant for him. He'd promised her he'd protect her, but he'd failed her. It had haunted him ever since and he'd made a vow that if he got another chance with her he wouldn't let her down again. But now he'd failed her again.
"Derek? Derek?"
He looked up to see Julia next to him. She gripped his hand tightly and rubbed his arm. "How are you doing sweetheart? You should get some rest yourself, you look terrible!"
"I need to see her Julia ... I, I know I don't have any right to. I know I'm the last person she probably wants near her right now. But, but I need to. I need to tell her I'm sorry, for everything."
"Derek, you can still make this right you know. Just tell Karen the truth. She'll understand if you tell her now, and you know what, she's so strong, you'll get through this together. Right now, you think you're helping her but really all you're doing is destroying two lives. Yours and hers."
"I don't care about my life anymore."
"Yes you do, I know you do."
"But the only life that's really mattered to me is the one I've shared with Karen.
"Then fight for that then Derek. It isn't too late" she pleaded. "What do you think Karen will say when she finds out the truth? Because she will eventually."
"She'll understand."
"I'm not so sure she will ... you know, I never had you down for being a coward Derek, and I bet Karen didn't either."
"A coward?!" Derek suddenly exploded. "That's what you think I am?! You don't understand a bloody thing of what I'm going through Julia."
"Maybe not but I know this is the easiest way out! Lying! Taking the decision out of Karen's hands. look Derek, I know it must be scary for you to admit your illness to her, to make yourself so vulnerable to the woman you love, to let her take care of you for a change and everything that that might entail. But just because it terrifies you, that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. You know what Ghandi once said? 'Fear has its use but cowardice has none' - I've always thought he was a pretty wise fella."
"Like I said Julia, you don't understand a thing about this!"
"Hey!"
They both looked up to see Josh standing in front of them. The nurse had taken him to see Karen first.
"How's my girl doing?" she asked tenderly.
His face crumpled and Julia immediately got up and hugged him. "I feel so helpless Julia. She looks so helpless."
"I know, but you heard the doctor. They're hopeful Karen will make a full recovery. We've just got to be strong for her right now, okay?"
"I know ... you should go into counselling you know" he laughed after a while.
Julia looked over at Derek. "Derek, why don't you go in now?"
"No way, are you kidding me?!" shouted Josh, suddenly releasing himself from Julia's embrace. "You're the last person who needs to see her right now."
Julia grabbed his arm, trying to pacify him. "Josh, calm down."
"I'll calm down when Derek gets the hell out of here. I don't even understand why he's here now.
"Look, I promise you Josh" Derek said, "after today, you and Karen will never have to see me again. But please, I have to see her just one more time."
"Josh" Julia said quietly.
"Fine, and it's only because I know that Karen would kick my butt if she she found out you were here and I'd stopped you."
Derek couldn't help but smile.
"Thank you" he said quietly, slowly making his way out.
The room was dimly lit, with only the sound of the monitors whirring and beeping away for comfort. Karen was lying in bed, an oxygen mask over her face, sleeping. Despite what the doctor said he wasn't prepared for how she was going to look. Her head was heavily bandaged from the fall, and her face and arms were scattered with large deep bruises. She looked so vulnerable. He wished he could take her in his arms, look after her, and be the one to make her better. But he knew that wasn't his job anymore.
He slowly made his way to the side of her bed and sat down. Just seeing her was too much, and he broke down sobbing. He took her hand and kissed it. "I'm sorry Karen, I'm so sorry."
After a while he calmed, and he sat looking at her, tenderly stroking her cheek with his thumb, the way he always used to when they were together.
"Do you remember when we went on holiday to England last year, and I introduced you to my mum. I was so terrified. Not that she wouldn't like you, but that she'd like you too much. You see, I've never let anyone get close to me before. It was always easiest that way. With you, you're the first and only girl I've opened my heart up to. And do you know what, of course my mum loved you. I never told you this but just before we left she said to me 'don't let this girl go Derek. Whatever happens.' And I promised her I wouldn't, because of course I had no intention of ever letting you go ... I'm so sorry I couldn't keep that promise Karen. I hope mum will be able to forgive me. I hope one day you'll be able to forgive me." His mind went back to his conversation with Julia. "I hope one day you'll understand."
He leaned over and gently, tenderly, kissed her forehead, savouring her touch for the last time. She looked so peaceful lying there. He hoped she'd find peace without him. "I love you always" he whispered. He got up quickly and walked away from her, and didn't look back. He couldn't. The pain would be too much to bear.
His mind was in a daze as he made his way towards the exit.
"So that's it?"
He spun around to see Julia looking at him.
He smiled regretfully. "Goodbye Julia. Take care of her."