14. The Battle Of The Pink Puffballs

Jigglypuff did not appear happy. But why should it? It was no longer in the plurality alliance; in fact, two of the former members of the plurality alliance were now dead. Instead, the round teal eyes reflected rage. Jigglypuff wanted to win these Games, and she was going to use any means necessary in order to make this wish a reality.

"So," Kirby said, "we're two pink puffballs who are about to duel to the death. What fun".

Jigglypuff didn't say anything, just continued staring at Kirby with those murderous teal eyes. Kirby knew that he couldn't use any physical attacks on the Balloon Pokemon, because Jigglypuff would just use Rest and she'd be in the final three. Kirby was probably at least at the equivalent of 80%. Even in Brawl, that would have been enough for Rest to KO from the center of Final Destination. Now, though, Jigglypuff was not advancing. She was biding her time. Waiting for Kirby to strike.

Kirby wasn't going to give her that opportunity. He was going to hit first, and hit hard! But he couldn't charge because of the stupid Rest ability! So he had to use Inhale, and hope that it did something.

Kirby began inhaling the air. He ate up a pine tree, so he had to fight the pain in his belly and the urge to turn into, well, a pine tree. But Jigglypuff was fighting the whirlwind. Eventually, though, it would overwhelm her. And this only made Kirby feel better about his chances of winning these Games.

Jigglypuff, in a last-ditch effort to get out of Kirby's giant maw, used Rollout. This worked; she rolled twenty yards away, coming to rest at the bottom of a tree. She quickly recovered from this roll, and began charging at Kirby yet again.

Kirby had to do something, or else he would be Rested into the eternal rest. So he began floating upwards, waiting until Jigglypuff came underneath him. He then turned into a box of tissues and began free-falling just like Tom Petty.

He barely got any of Jigglypuff, but it was enough to send her flying a hundred meters back towards the limestone cliffs. This time, she didn't get up. But no cannon fired. Kirby wondered what that was all about.

"You think she's just faking?", Patrick Lawrence asked his wife.

They were sitting in the lobby of the Hotel Da Vinci, an upscale hotel in Venice. Patrick and his wife, Katie, were staying in Italy for a week while conducting interviews with students at the local university. Technically, this was only Patrick's job. Katie was just accompanying him because she didn't trust Patrick anymore after an affair he'd had with their maid five years ago.

"I don't know, Pat", Katie said. "I mean, there was no cannon, so I guess that she's probably still alive…"

"I fucking hope so", Patrick said, "I mean, I main Jigglypuff in all the Super Smash Bros. games. I want her to win! I don't want to find a new main!"

Katie sighed, looking past her husband. This really was a fancy hotel. Their room had a bathroom with golden-colored tiles. These tiles changed color from gold to green to blue to purple, then pink. They then got so red that it felt like you were suffocating; then, for relief's sake, it began fading out into orange and yellow, and the cycle repeated itself again. She really hoped it had been worth it to accompany her husband, who she didn't trust, all the way across the Atlantic. But then she remembered she was doing this precisely because she didn't trust Patrick.

Back to the arena.

Jigglypuff eventually ceased playing dead and began charging at Kirby again. This time, Kirby began charging towards Jigglypuff.

It turned into a game of chicken, both pink puffballs running towards each other. Jigglypuff watched as their difference became fifty feet, thirty feet, twenty feet, ten feet, five feet.

PING.

Suddenly, there was the crack of a baseball bat, the sound of a pink puffball flying through the air, and the blast of a cannon. Someone was dead.

Jigglypuff looked up. She was still alive. She had Rested Kirby into oblivion. There wasn't that much blood right here, but it had been more than enough to kill him, especially after being knocked into that force field. And that force field was no joke. In the book, Finnick Odair had had to perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) on Peeta after the latter had run into the force field on the Quarter Quell arena. Of course, Finnick had died during the rebellion. This meant that Kirby was dead as shit. Besides, the cannon had gone off.

Jigglypuff was left as one of the three remaining tributes. She now had a one-in-three chance at returning home. But first, she had to outlast Narri and Toon Link. And both were very tough competitors.

"So, Pat", Katie was saying, "I think you have your answer".