The Rift

by TheManFromMars

Somewhere, six ponies defeated a powerful God of Chaos. Elsewhere, six superheroes defeated a powerful God of Chaos. What will happen once their universes begin to clash, or should I say swap? WARNING: I have no idea where I'm going with this. Anything that resembles a plot is purely accidental. CRACK FIC. BACK IN HIATUS DUE TO COMPUTER PROBLEMS (Sorry).

14. Once More With Context

AUTHOR'S NOTES (1 of 3):

I've seen a few reviews commenting on my decision of shipping Applejack with Tony Stark and I think I should make something clear...

I don't ship.

I'm not a shipper. At all. While I may sometimes favor one pairing over another, I'm not actually emotionally invested in it. I don't cheer if 'my ship' becomes canon. I don't 'rage' if the show 'sunks my ship' by forming pairs with other characters. The only reaction you'll get from me is either a raised eyebrow or a chuckle. Endgame, I don't care who gets with who. Whoever the show decides to put together is good enough to me.

So, if you see me 'ship' two characters on one of my fics, is because of one or more of the following reasons:

1) It Makes Sense: I feel that these characters would naturally be charmed/attracted to each other (or, if it's one-sided, one is attracted and the other is oblivious), so I write it so. It may never go beyond a brief infatuation, though.

2) It Moves The Plot/Characterization Forward: Sometimes, the addition of a romantic interest/subplot may open some interesting venues for the character and/or plot to pursue. It may also present me with many new opportunities for jokes (See Item 4).

3) It's Canon: As a writer, I tend to stick to canon as much as possible (which probably means that I don't get the point of Fan Fiction), so all canon relationships are respected and never ignored. Even if I decide to make a character who's already in an established canon relationship develop feelings for another character, I won't act like the canon relationship never existed nor will I downplay its importance to the characters involved (Unless it's funny for me to do so. See Item 4).

4) It's Funny: In the name of comedy, all bets are off! It doesn't matter if it's illogical, immoral, or out-of-character! If I can get a giggle out, odds are I'm gonna do it!

That being said, I'm having a great time teasing/mocking/hinting at all possible ships, and I plan to tease/mock/hint at many more in the following chapters! Stay tuned!

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AUTHOR'S NOTES (2 of 3):

I think I should warn you that the end of this chapter contains a twist that may upset fans of a certain character.

All I can say is that there's a reason for why I did what I did. Unfortunately, it's a reason that can only be revealed at the end of the fic and who knows when that will be? All I can do is ask you to stick with me and, with any luck, you may be pleased with what I did once everything is revealed at the end.

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Happy Year Of The Horse!

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

ONCE MORE WITH CONTEXT

The sound of iron hitting iron echoes across the barn. Rainbow Stark cleans the sweat from his face. This kind of brings him memories of that good ol' cave in Afghanistan. Those were the days he thinks to himself and smiles. God, I'm such a tool. His smile disappears. I disappointed you, Yinsen, didn't I? I didn't change at all, did I? I'm still the same irresponsible, self-aggrandizing, spoiled little shNO! STOP! Self-pity is for losers!

He hits the anvil harder.

You screwed up! So what?! Everyone screws up! What are you going to do about it? What you always do: Fix it! That's what you do: You fix things! You build something! And this is exactly what you're doing right now: Building something that, with any luck, will help you fix the mess you've done.

Sparks fly as the hammer comes down again.

Not far from there, another scientist is also trying to fix the mess Stark helped create. Bruce Pie is closely inspecting his machine, seeing if it is ready to safely contain the Elements of Harmony in its force field generator.

I could try to describe the machinery in detail but, in case you haven't noticed so far, I really suck at describing things, so I'll just say that Bruce's machine is very similar to that Mini-Sun Harmonic Fusion Reactor Thingamabob that Dr. Octavius (Alfred Molina) had in Spider-Man 2.

"That looks… intricate"

Bruce turns around to look at the pony talking to him "Oh, hi there… Fluttershy, right? You're feeling better already?"

"Yes, thank you very much" Fluttershy answers "And you are…?"

"Oh, sorry. I guess I didn't introduce myself properly" Bruce Pie replies "I'm Bruce Banner. Currently residing your friend Pinkie Pie's body" he gives a small laugh

"Oh, nice to meet you, Bruce" Fluttershy replies with a little laugh "I'm Natasha Romanoff. Currently residing… Fluttershy, I guess"

"Romanoff?" Bruce asks to which Natashy nods "Well… Welcome to Equestria, I guess. How long have you been swapped?"

"Not too long ago…" Natashy said "So, where's everyone?"

"Tony is at the barn down the road, building a new suit of armor" Banner answers "Steve is at Rarity's, making a… what's so funny?" he asks seeing Natashy trying not to crack a smile

"I'm sorry, Bruce, but your new voice… you sound so, so sweet" Natashy said, letting a small laugh out

"You are mocking my voice?!" Bruce Pie raises an eyebrow "Is not that much different than yours"

"Yeah, I guess you're right…" Natashy smiles "So, Steve is at Rarity's. Where is that?"

"Well, it's at… I have no idea" Bruce replies

"It's okay, I'll ask around" Natashy says "And what about Thor?"

"Thor's at the hospital. Broke a leg. Don't know how"

"And Clint?"

"Barton?" Bruce replies, confused "I don't know. He was swapped too?"

"Last time I talked to you, you were you" Natashy said "I'm just asking to make sure that no one else was swapped while I was knocked out cold"

"Well, as far as I know, the two of us were the last ones" Bruce replied "Don't know about anyone else"

"Right" Natashy then nodded at the machine "So, what does this do?"

"Right now? It fills space" Bruce said "But with any luck, it will be able to contain the Elements of Harmony so that we can…"

"The Elements of Harmony?" Natashy interrupts "You mean those things that Rainbow Dash mistook Stark's chest piece for?"

"Yup. They're there on the jar" Bruce Pie pointed at the jar with the glowing magic gems

"Hmm… expected something different…" Natashy said, observing the jar "They seem pretty contained in the jar, already…"

"Well, yeah… but they're not much use for us just sitting there" Bruce replies "We need to tap on their magic properties if we hope to defeat Discord and/or open another portal to go home"

"And your machine will do that?" Natashy asks

"Don't want to jinx it, but I'm pretty sure it will, at the very least, make us able to control it somewhat" Bruce says "I studied these gems closely and observed them react in a similar manner of radioactive isotopes, except they don't seem to present half-lives or any form of exponential decay despite their constant emission of gamma rays. It's astonishing, really. Perhaps, 'Magical' would be a more suitable description. It's close enough to my field of work for me to be sure that I can contain and release them in a safely manner, but different enough that I can't tell what will happen once we point them at something and pull the trigger. My hopes (and this machine's design) are for it to open a portal back home"

"I'm impressed, Banner" Natashy said "Gotta say, of all people, I never expected you to become a 'Master of Magic'"

Bruce chuckled "That's kinda of the point though, isn't it? The most skillful magician is the one you never suspect"

"You tricked us all" Natashy said, joking

"Now you see me…" Bruce joked, moving his hooves as if he was casting a spell

"Right" Natashy smiled "Well, you seem to have everything in order here… I think I should check on our other resident genius and see how he is doing. You said the barn was…?"

"That way" Bruce pointed

"That way. Right. Do me a favor, Banner?" Natashy said "Don't tell Stark I called him a genius"

Bruce laughed "My lips are sealed"

Natashy smiles and nods. As soon as Bruce turns his back, her smile disappears. She stands there for a few seconds, coldly observing Bruce Pie working on his machine. Her eyes squint, as she ponders. What goes through her head? No one can tell. She gives the machine one last, seemingly displeased, look and turns around, moving towards the barn.

A griffon on the clouds watches and follows.

"Stark?" Natashy calls as she opens the doors of the barn.

Stark wasn't there. The barn was empty. Well, not really empty. Tools and pieces of metal were scattered all over the haystacks. Natashy inspects them closer. Just a few plates weld together. Stark hasn't made much progress, if any at all, on his suit. Where could that slacker be? She finds a bag on the ground. She takes it. She grabs a few spare tools on the table and puts it in the bag. Natashy believes in being ready for everything, and they may be useful as weapons. She puts the bag on her back and exits the barn. She could stay there and wait for Stark… or she could see Steve at 'Rarity's'. She doesn't know where that is, but she knows someone who knows. She smirks and goes her way. And so does the griffon on the skies.

"Here, Steve, dear" Rarity told Steve Jack, giving him the 'Captain Equestria Uniform - Mk1' "You should go try it on and see if it suits you before we make the modifications you suggested. If you need anything, just call me"

Steve nodded and went into the dressing room. Rarity went over her drawing table and checked the design again. The… let's call it prototype suit that Steve is trying on is mostly bare, only having a few markers pointing out where all the other details shall be added later on. But the final design… Oh, my… what a marvel! A tasteful combination of light and dark shades of blue and purple: the purple giving it a sense of mystery (purple is simply great for this) while the light blue gives a sense of hope. Hope and Mystery. There's no better way to introduce a hero fashion-wise, Rarity thinks. It also symbolizes the day and night sky, of course, which, combined with a slightly different rendition of Equestria's national symbol (A half-moon/half-sun orb, located in the center of the chest), is meant to inspire a sense of patriotism and national pride, an icon the ponies of Ponyville could rally behind.

Rarity is very proud of her design, but she can't take all the credit. Steve had a lot of input, suggesting some of the patriotic undertones, including three little stars symbolizing the three major pony races (Earth Ponies, Unicorns, and Pegasi) surrounding the sun/moon orb in semi-circle, and one last big star on the back to fill the empty space (his very last suggestion). Empty space that wouldn't be there had he approved her idea of a cape, Rarity thinks, but Steve said that capes are 'not very battle-convenient, in spite of what Thor may think'.

She can't wait until the uniform is done and ready. Oh, they still need to work on that helmet… She still thinks that big 'E' is a little bit too much, but Steve insisted on it. It's growing on her, though.

The sound of somepony entering her boutique takes Rarity away from her thoughts.

She turns her head and sees Rainbow Stark carrying something big in his back, wrapped in newspaper.

They stare at each other. Stark is the first to speak "Uh… hi"

"Hello" Rarity greeted back, respectfully but coldly

They remain in an awkward silence for a couple of seconds

"Is there anything I can help you with?" Rarity finally asks

"No… I mean, yes… that is, I just…" Stark tries to reply when, suddenly, a loud bang is heard from upstairs, interrupting him

"Sweetie Belle?" Rarity shouts towards the ceiling "What was that noise?"

"Nothing, dear sister" a voice yells back

"Who was that?" Stark asks

"Oh, that's just my little sister, Sweetie Belle" Rarity replied "She's with Applebloom and Scootaloo searching for some Fedoras"

"Applebloom… That's Mary Ann Summers' little sister, right?" Stark said

"Applejack's sister, yes" Rarity's tone has only a hint of the contempt she feels for him right now

"So… your sister, her sister… they're friends too? Everyone's little sisters hanging around in their own little sister club?" Stark smiles, trying to start a friendly conversation

"Something like that, yes" Rarity replies dryly "You came here looking for small talk or…"

"Oh, no, I… I was just looking for Steve" Stark says "I thought he was still here…"

"He's at the dressing room" Rarity says

"Uh… Why?"

"He's trying on his new uniform" Rarity answers

"No, I mean, why the hell do you have a dressing room?" Stark said "Like, you ponies walk around naked in public all the time but when you finally decide to put something on, you suddenly feel the need for some privacy? Weirdos. Anyway, I just wanted to give him this"

Stark gently drops the wrapped object he was carrying on the floor.

"I'll call him…"

"Oh, you don't have to" Stark said "Just… give it to him… tell him it's a gift from me… or don't tell him. It doesn't matter…"

"You don't wanna talk to him?" Rarity asked

"I'm pretty sure he's the one who doesn't want to talk to me" Stark replied "Don't blame him. I'm kind of a jerk"

Rarity raises an eyebrow

"Yeah, yeah, I know" Stark said "We kinda had a fight and… this is my peace offering" he pushes the 'peace offering' towards Rarity "So, if you could just give it to him, that would be great"

"I'm not gonna do it" Rarity said "You should do it, Stark. If you're really serious about mending things with your friend, you…"

"He's not my friend"

Rarity stops what she was saying and looks quizzically at Stark

"You asked earlier… how guys like Thor and Steve could be friends with a guy like me. And that's just it: We're not friends" Stark continues "Me and Thor? We barely know each other. Me and Steve? We can barely stand each other! Bruce is the only one of them who I can really call a friend. The others are just… acquaintances. We're just provisory allies. Brought together by chance and necessity. I mean, I have no qualms with Thor, even though my first meeting with him ended up with us fighting. I guess we could be friends if we ever got to know each other better, but with Steve? The only time we stopped fighting each other was when we were too busy fighting someone else! Sometimes I feel like there's a Civil War just waiting to blow between us!"

"I… I'm sorry, Stark, but I don't get it" Rarity replied "Why would you bother trying to make peace with Steve, if you hate him that much?"

"I… I don't hate him! I just… I… You know what? Yes! I do hate him!" Stark snaps at her "I've hated him even before I've met him! Ever since my father couldn't stop babbling about his, oh, so goddamn perfect friend, Captain America, and it only got worse when I actually met him! That little Dudley Do-Right, Goody Two-Shoes! I couldn't stand it! I despise that type of people! Teacher's pets with impeccable records! Little dumb drones who do as they're told, accept authority without questioning, and always get on their good side, not unlike a certain friend of yours. Those people are a joke. And him? On top of being all that, was also a little dancing monkey wrapped in outdated jingoistic propaganda, whose ass everybody was dying to kiss! I hate everything that he represents! And you want to know why I want to make peace with him? I'll tell you why! Because I was wrong!"

Rarity stares at him, surprised

"I was wrong… and he was right" Stark gives a small, begrudging chuckle "Which only makes me angrier at him, but… no. He was right. And there's more to him than… well… you know. This is my apology to him. He… he's a better man than me. He's a nice guy, probably the nicest guy I've ever met, and he doesn't deserve to be treated the way I treat him. Tell the truth, if everyone was just a little bit more like him, this world… I'm sorry, my world would be a much better place"

Rarity begins to smile. Stark glares at her.

"If you tell him a single word of what I've just said, I swear to God, I'll…" Stark stops to think of a good threat "…mess up your hair!"

Rarity chuckles

"I mean it!" Stark said "Keep your mouth shut!"

Still giggling, Rarity says "Your secret is safe with me, darling"

"The uniform seems fine, Rarity" Steve steps out of the dressing room, carrying the uniform folded on his back "I just think we should loosen up a little bit around the legs to allow for better mobilit…" Steve notices Stark and greets him coldly "Oh, hi, Tony"

"Cap" Stark greeted back

"Is there anything you want?"

"I…" Stark sighs "I'm sorry, Steve. For what I've said before. And I'm sorry for not taking this seriously. And I'm sorry for being… well, me"

Steve Jack sighs as well "Look, Tony, you really don't need to…"

"Shut up. I'm trying to be humble and apologetic here and you ain't gonna dismiss my apology with your stupid magnanimity, you fucker" Stark cut him off "Anyway, as proof of the sincerity of my apology, I offer you this gift" he hands him the gift

"Tony…"

"Accept it or I will smash your head with it!"

Steve rolls his eyes and unwraps the gift: A shiny, round metal shield. He looks at Stark.

"Can't have Captain America without his shield, now, can we?" Stark says "Made it myself. Now, it's not Vibranium, obviously, but I think it can still take a beating. It should also work relatively well with that whole throw it around thing you do. I was going to paint it but I didn't know how the uniform you were designing was going to look like, so… yeah"

"Thank you, Tony" Steve said

"Don't mention it" Stark said, turning his head away, feigning indifference

"You know" Steve smiles "This is the second time a Stark made me a shield"

Stark turns back at him and smiles too.

"Aw, you two are such darlings" Rarity says, smiling

"Suck my currently non-existent dick!" Stark tells her

"Tony!" Steve says. Stark turns at him with a 'What?' expression on his face. Steve rolls his eyes "Anyway, how's Bruce's machine going?"

"I don't know" Stark answered "I've left him to do his thing around the same time you've left us. I hope it's done before Discord's 24 hours deadline is up, or else we're screwed"

"What do you mean?" Steve said

"C'mon, Steve, let's face it" Stark said "We have absolutely no way of defeating him! Our only hope is to open another portal with that thing and finally get out of here!"

"But if we're gone… what's going to happen to this place? Discord will still be at large"

"I don't care!" Steve gives him a disapproving look. Stark sighs "Look, they have dealt with him before. Twice, in fact. We go, Sparkle and the Banana Splits arrive, they use the Elements of Copout, save the day, and keep living happily like the stupid assholes they are! And there you go!"

"What if they don't work?" Steve asked "The Elements. What if the machine drains them out? What if one of Twilight's friends come back tired, hurt, unconscious, or worse, and can't activate their Element? What then?"

"Sucks to be them then" Rarity frowns at Stark "What? I'm sorry, but it's true"

"I don't know, Tony" Steve said "I'm starting to think we should defeat Discord before we try to go back home"

"Are you serious?! How?! Tell me, Steve, how?" Stark asked him "I'm not sure if you noticed, but we're basically powerless here and this guy is much, much more powerful than Loki, who, may I remind you, is still at large in our world! Even if we still had our powers, I don't know if it would be of much help against someone who can bend reality at will! We attack him and he turns us into butterflies or teleport us to Antarctica! Now, I'm working on my armor and made you this shield so we won't be completely defenseless and that's it. If you still think that dressing in a costume and rallying this town of cowards will make any difference, be my guest, but, in my opinion, the best course of action is to gather all the guys and meet with Bruce so we can get out of here. In fact, I'm going to check on Thor right now. See if he's good enough to follow us back to the farm"

"So, you really think Discord's gonna lick us?" Steve asked

Lick [lik]

Vb-Informal, Slang: To defeat or vanquish, usually in a humiliating manner; To overcome (someone or something) decisively; To beat or trash; To punish; To get the better of.

Stark squints at Steve "Uh… yeah, sure… I guess he can lick us if he's into that…"

"No, I mean, you really think we have no chance of beating him?" Steve said "I never took you for a defeatist, Tony. What happened to 'there's always a way out'?"

"The way out is going back home!" Stark answered "I'm not being a defeatist, Steve, I'm being a realist. Hey, if you have a plan to outmaneuver the freaking God of Chaos, I'm open to suggestions"

Steve opens his mouth to talk, but then closes it and stares at the ground, pensive.

"That's what I thought" Stark said

"Now, boys, let's not be so pessimistic" Rarity said "I, for one, truly believe Steve can inspire the ponies to work together and fight Discord, and if that doesn't work and things get really ugly, I'm sure you'll come up with something to help us, Stark" Rarity winked and smiled encouragingly at him "After all, you're so intelligent and resourceful"

"Wait, you're hitting on me? Has my vast wealth finally registered on your 'Gold Digger Radar'? Look, I know you love dragon cock" Stark said nonchalantly "But, even when I was single and wild, I've only had my sexcapades with my own species. I'm not Loki, you know"

Rarity shoots him a death glare.

"Hey, don't look at me like that! I'm not judging!" Stark defended himself "I've watched Shrek. I'm totally cool with a dragon and a donkey hooking up"

"I'm not a donkey!" Rarity yells

Stark smirks, amused "Careful, Rarity. Getting so offended for being called a donkey, some ponies may think you're racist"

"Tony!" Steve says in a warning, disapproving tone

"Why, I ought to…" Rarity was about to chew him a new one when she sees, from the corner of her eyes, three little fillies staring at them "Oh, hi, girls" Rarity greets them, regaining her composure "I see you three found what you were looking for" she then notices Sweetie Belle, her sister, wearing a derby hat that didn't match her companions' fedoras "Well, most of you"

Stark looks at the three fillies. Hillbilly Jr. he already met. The little idiot with the big hat must be Rarity's sister, considering they're both white unicorns, and seem to waste their time worrying about fashion. The third one was moving towards him. She was an orange Pegasus with a short, swirly, slightly tomboyish hair. Must be Rainbow Dash's sister.

"Rainbow Dash! Hi!" the little filly said to him

"Hey, kid" Stark replied with a bored tone. What did Rarity say to be her name again? 'Loot-A-Cue'? 'School-Be-Lieu'? Ah, whatever, just call her little sister and you'll be good.

"Can't talk now. We're kinda in a hurry. We're in the middle of a very important investigation" the kid whispered at him

"Sure you are" Stark couldn't care less

"Oh, no, you're not taking that hat out of here" Stark turns to see Rarity arguing with her Mini Me.

"But…" the little clone protests

"No buts. You're going to dirty it and I won't allow you to ruin this beautiful hat"

"I promise I will take good care of it"

"Mm-huh" Rarity says, unconvinced

"Pleeeeease!" the kid resorts to the Ultimate Brat Technique: Puppy eyes and pouty lips. Stark begins to get amused. The little idiot may not be that much of an idiot after all.

"Don't make that face to me. It won't work" Rarity says, but Stark knows it isn't true. And, apparently, so does the kid, as she continues making that face.

"Sweetie Belle…" Rarity says before putting her hoof on her face and sighing in defeat "You can keep the hat…"

"Yay! Thanks, dear sister" the kid smiles victorious. Stark smirks. As a manipulative asshole himself, he can't help but feel appreciation for other tricksters. Unless their name happens to be Loki, that is.

"Well, I'll be going now" Stark said "Cap. Cruella De Vil. Bubbles, Blossom, Buttercup" he nods at Steve, Rarity and the Crusaders "See y'all later" and with that said, Rainbow Stark left the building

"I guess we should go too" the yellow filly with the pink bow said "Thanks for the hats, Rarity. Bye, Applejack"

"Bye… sister" Steve answered, not exactly comfortable about lying to that little girl, but he supposes it's best to keep pretending. If that little filly knew what had happened to her big sister, she would be so scared and worried. She doesn't need to know.

As soon as the Crusaders left the boutique, Steve turns to Rarity "Listen, Rarity, I'm sorry about Tony. He's just…"

"Don't worry, dear. I get it" Rarity said and then glanced towards the door from where Stark left, a knowing smile on her face "I get it..."

Steve looks confused for a moment. Obviously, he doesn't get it. But he smiles anyway "Well, I'm glad you understand, then… even if I don't"

Rarity laughs "You're welcome, darling. So… what were you saying about the uniform's mobility?"

"Oh, yeah, that's right" Steve said and then grabbed the uniform "I think we should loosen up the legs a little bit. They're a little too tight"

"Well, we wouldn't have this problem if you hadn't vetoed the skirt that I…" Rarity stops what she's saying once she sees Steve lookin at her with a pained expression on his face "Alright. Alright. 'Not Tactical'. Forget I brought it up... Not even a little petticoat?" she asks. Steve smiles, but his pained face remains "Fine" Rarity resigns

"It really doesn't need much touching" Steve continues "I just feel that it may restrain my movement somewhat"

"Hmm. Maybe a change of fabric could help" Rarity said "Something a little less tight-fitting… I'll grab some samples upstairs so we can try them out and see which you feel more comfortable with, okay, dear?"

Steve nods and Rarity climbs the stairs. Designing a combat outfit is so different of what she's used to do, but hey, she already designed a suit of armor the other day. This is child's play compared to that, and, if she can be honest with herself, she's having a blast. Even if she had her urges to add a little more glamour shot down by Stark and Steve in favor of something more practical and sensible (and, looking back, she can see how some of her suggestions could have been a little outré), such restrictions are (positively) challenging her creativity. She's learning a lot from this new experience, and she's sure this will help her become a more talented desi…

Rarity's train of thought derails after she opens the door of her 'office' and sees all her mannequins and shelves tumbled over on top of all the fabric and accessories scattered messily over the floor. A ball of yarn rolls from the inside of a tipped basket and bounces on the floor, comically breaking the silence.

Rarity's eye twitches. Her lips tremble as she forces a nervous smile. Her chest goes up and down as she breathes heavily through her teeth. Her smile slowly turns upside down as her face turns red and her whole body shakes…

"SWEETIE BELLE!" she yells from the top of her lungs

15 minutes earlier…

Perfecto!

Spike takes one step back and admires his job well done. The books are all perfectly lined up on the shelves, not a single inch out of place. Of course, nopony else will appreciate this… They see a library in order and they pay no mind. It's how it's supposed to be, after all. But do they think about the books being taken in and out all the time? Do they think about ponies taking a book, reading a few pages and then putting it back in the wrong place?! Do they think about every time they take a pile of books to study and after they're done with it, they just leave them on top of the tables for him to pick them up?! Do they think, for a miserable second, about him having to take every single one of those books, sort them, locate the place they should be, carry them, climb up the ladder, climb down the ladder, painstakingly repeat that routine EVERY DAY, always trying to find a book out of place, keeping this whole library in order, never receiving recognition for his efforts, not even a single…

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I interrupting again?"

Spike stops his inner rant to look at Natashy standing on the doorsteps of the library "Oh… Uh… it's nothing, Fluttershy" Spike blushes, embarrassed "So, did you find the others?"

In the outside, Natashy smiles sweetly. In the inside, Natashy analyzes the purple lizard intensely. She doesn't know his name. She doesn't know him. What does he know? Does he know about the swaps? Did Stark told him? Have he met Stark? Does he know what's going on? How much does he know? Is he an ally? If he's an ally and he doesn't know about the swaps, would he still be an ally if he knew about them? Natashy grimaces internally (while still smiling externally). She doesn't have enough information. She should've asked Bruce about this purple individual earlier. She doesn't know why she didn't. She decides that it's best to keep up with the 'Fluttershy' persona until she gathers more Intel about this town, the situation, and who's on the know.

"I'm afraid they already left the farm when I arrived" Natashy answered him. When in doubt, be kind. If details about your disguise or the person you should be impersonating gets misplaced, and you don't have the data about their personality, your basic options are to either act direct, kind, or authoritative. Direct and authoritative are better when you're sure your cover is supposed to be an authority or a business minded person. Otherwise, kind is your best option. If contacts that had some kind of interaction with the subject you're impersonating find your kindness odd, quickly change your tune and explain it as you briefly being in a good mood. Luckily, interactions so far had proven that 'Fluttershy' is indeed kind. She's also soft-spoken, coy, perhaps a little cowardly and insecure, and, if her name can be taken at face value (and everything that Natashy has seen in this world tells her that she can take names at face value), shy. Natashy is confident that she made a pretty accurate deduction of who 'Fluttershy' is, and she's willing to prove it by acting on it. If she's wrong, she can always adapt her disguise accordingly.

"Oh. Uh… that's a shame"

"I did meet Pinkie though"

"You mean Bruce?" Spike asked

"Oh, that's his name? I didn't know" So he knows about the swap. She still doesn't know how much he can trust him. Better to stick with the cover for now "Well, I met… Bruce and he told me that the others were at Rarity's and… I… I'm still a little lost… I can't remember where Rarity's is. Could you help me?"

"You don't know where the Carousel Boutique is?" Spike asks "Gosh, Fluttershy! This is serious! We need to go see a doctor about your memory loss!"

"Oh, thank you for being so concerned about me" Natashy smiles kindly at him. Once again, Spike blushes "But you really shouldn't bother. I just need directions to Rarity's boutique and I'll be fine"

"Are you sure?" Spike said "I can walk you to the hospital, it wouldn't be…"

"Oh, you" Natashy smiles and rubs her hoof gently on Spike's cheek. She's getting tired of this. She needs him to stop worrying about her and just give her the stupid directions. Time to turn on the charm "It's sweet how much you care. You're so adorable and kind. Wanting to take care of me even after exhausting yourself cleaning up the library all on your own"

"I don't… I… you noticed?"

"Of course I noticed it" Natashy replies on the soft tone she presumes Fluttershy uses "Taking care of this library all by yourself can't be easy, but you still do your job well, selflessly and without complaining. You're so diligent and responsible"

"Oh, well, I… I'm not… it's the least I can do" Spike replied, flattered and blushing "It's nothing, really"

"Don't sell yourself short" Natashy kept buttering him up "There aren't enough adorable, laborious, caring guys like you out there"

Spike doesn't reply. He just smiles at the ground, blushing. Good. The sucker is hooked.

"So… could you point me towards Rarity's boutique?" she lowers her head to speak to him eye to eye

"Huh? Oh, yes! Of course!" Spike answers and quickly moves from where he was standing to the library's door "See that building there on the distance?" Spike points outwards

"That one?" Natashy points at the same place

"Yeah, that's the one"

"Oh, I remember now" Natashy lied "Thank you for helping me!"

"Oh, it's nothing" Spike rubs the back of his neck, dismissive

"You're so sweet" Natashy says and kisses him in the cheek, before going her way

Spike stares at her walking away, his hand resting on his cheek, his heart racing. In the background, a melody starts to play…

What is happening?

Why is my heart running like this?

Why did I felt like babbling

When she gave me that kiss?

(Look at you sigh)

Why do I feel like I want more?

(I think you know why)

I've never felt like this before

(That's a lie)

(Don't you remember when that unicorn first walked by?)

No!

It can't be true!

(Oh)

(She hooked you)

I already have a beloved

(By whom you remain unloved)

Can I really have two?

What am I gonna do?

(Sucks to be you)

Oh, life used to be (be)

So much simpler to me (me)

I was in love with Rarity (with Rarity)

So, now, tell me why (why)

Oh, why did I (I)

Had to fall for Fluttershy (Fluttershy)

They say love is bliss

Why does it feel like a curse?

I need to solve this

Before it gets worse (worse how?)

Before it all runs amuck

Before I run out of luck

Love triangles suck

(Remember when you two first met that day?)

(She wouldn't talk to Twilight. Head down. Looking away)

(As soon as she laid eyes on you, she was elated and hoping you'd stay)

No! I won't accept it! That can't be!

Rarity is the only one for me!

(Not anymore, it seems)

No!

(Shy will flutter your dreams)

Oh, no!

(Your heart is a kingdom with two queens)

(Oh, my! That was cheesy!)

No! Rarity is the one!

The only one allowed to make my heart run

(Nopony said love was easy)

I feel like I'm cheating her

(Yeah, right. As if)

(You two were never together to begin with)

That's not the point!

(Then what is the point?)

Love triangles suck

(Face the facts, boy: Your heart is divided)

It's not fair!

(There's only one thing left to be decided)

(To whom your love you'll declare?)

(To the fair mare of such rare flair)

(And pretty hair)

(Wanna be Sweetie Belle's beau-frère?)

(Or to the more discreet)

(And so sweet)

(Petite)

(Pony who's making your heart faster beat?)

(Got more room in the Love Seat?)

I don't know!

(Oh, no!)

My whole world used to be

Just Rarity and me

But Fluttershy now makes three

I'm running amuck

Running out of luck

Love triangles suck

"LOVE TRIANGLES SUCK"
Spike
"The Desolation of Spike" (NEW ALBUM)
Vinyl Scratch Records

"Hey, Justin Bieber!"

Surprised, Spike turns to see Rainbow Stark staring at him.

"I hate to interrupt your burst of musical spontaneity, well, not really, because that whole thing was weird and that song was shitty, but I need you to give me some directions" Stark told him

"You too?" Spike asked "Where do you need to go?"

"The hospital. Where you and Blanche DuBois dropped Percy Jackson after he broke his leg" Stark said "I just realized I don't know where that is because Crazy Horse somehow forgot to mention it on her big tour of the town the first day I was here"

Spike stares confused at Stark for a few seconds before saying "You know something, Stark? It would be a lot easier to understand who you're talking about if you actually called ponies by their actual names"

"Duly noted, Harold"

"My name is Spike" Spike replies, annoyed

"Alright, Dennis" Stark said, nonchalantly "So, the hospital? I need to meet up with Thor"

Spike sighs "I'll show you the way" he exits the library with Stark following closely

Half a minute later, Stark breaks the silence "Do you people always do that?"

"Do what?" Spike asked

"Go on a musical routine about your feelings and apprehensions like you're characters in a Broadway play" Stark said "I thought that was something that only Pinkie did because she was, well, her, but apparently you do too. Does everyone else? Is that a thing?"

"Uh… I guess" Spike replies "I never stopped to think about it. The girls do it a lot more often than I do though"

"And you never thought that was weird?" Stark raises an eyebrow at him

"Well, yeah, at first, when Pinkie was the only pony doing it, but then everypony else seemed to catch on it and started doing it too"

"Well, can't fault them for their musical proficiency. Coming up with melody, lyrics, chorus, and choreography on the spot. Impressive. You guys should win a Tony Award" Stark said

"A Tony Award?" Spike raises an eyebrow at him

"Nothing to do with me, I promise" Stark says "There's more than one person named Tony in my world. It's not like here where no two ponies seem to have the same noun/adjective/verb in their names… 'I'm sorry, Mr. Ponytail, but you can't name your daughter 'Incontinence'. We already have an Incontinence in Saddlepolis. Diarrhea is still available though'"

Spike frowns at Stark

"Oh, I'm sorry. Was that culturally insensitive?" Stark asks with a mischievous smirk

Spike just rolls his eyes and shakes his head "Never mind…"

"So" Stark says "I know it's none of my business, but, since that never stopped me before, about what you were singing back there…"

"That's private!" Spike says, hastily, sweating cold

"Oh. You don't want to talk about it?"

"No. Not really"

"Alright" Stark says, a malicious smile creeping on his face "I'm sure I can find someone else to talk about it…"

"You wouldn't dare!" Spike yelled at him, panicking

"Try me" Stark challenged him

Spike just looks at him, apprehensive, trying to decide what to do

"I wonder if Rarity is in the mood for some chitchat…" Starks provokes

"Alright! Alright!" Spike sighs, defeated "What do you want to know?"

"I just want to talk" Stark replies "A good ol' man-to-man talk, or, more precisely, a Rapidash-to-Squirtle talk" Stark pats him in the shoulder "So, spit it out: How do you feel?"

"How do I feel? How do I feel about what?"

"About the predicaments brought by love geometrics" Stark said "If I recall your song correctly, you think they suck"

Spike manages to chuckle and sigh at the same time "I'm not sure… I… I've been in love with Rarity for so long that… suddenly feeling these feelings for Fluttershy just… feels wrong"

"If you convert to Mormon Fundamentalism, you could marry both of them" Stark quipped

Spike glances annoyed at him

"Look, do any of them reciprocate your feelings?" Stark asked, seriously this time "Mind you, 'treating you nicely' does not count as 'reciprocating', you desperate perverted weirdo"

"I'm not sure…" Spike says "I guess Fluttershy treats me a bit more nicely, but… she treats everypony nicely, so…"

"Did you heard what I said about 'treating you nicely' not counting? Seriously, I said it just two seconds ago!" Stark replied "Oh, whatever. Okay, so Fluttershy treats you nice. How does Rarity treats you?"

"…she treats me nice too" Spike answers

"You hesitated"

"Did not!"

"Yeah, right" Stark said "I know this kind of girls… They treat you nice when they want something from you or they just tease because they like the attention. They treat you like a tampon: Use you and then throw away. Well, maybe a tampon is not the best analogy… It would insinuate that you'll one day gain access to her vagina which I doubt will ever…"

"Rarity is not like that!" Spike snaps furiously at Stark "She's very generous and…"

"Do not confuse generosity with selflessness" Stark cut him off "Being generous means you're not greedy, it doesn't mean you're not selfish. Look at me, I donated my entire modern art collection to the Boy Scouts of America and I'm as selfish as you can get"

"Don't compare yourself to her!" Spike yelled, furious "She's not like you!"

Rainbow Stark smiles at him "You really do love her, don't you?"

Spike's fury starts to fade from his face as his cheeks begin to blush.

"You know, I used to use women. All the time" Stark said "I was rich, famous, and handsome. Still am. They all fell right into my lap. Brought them to bed, forgot them in the morning. Used and threw away. Now, I don't want you to think that I was a bad person… I wasn't a good person but I wasn't bad, I… I was just selfish. You have something that people want, be it money, good looks, information, a product, a good time, whatever… So you use that to get what you want: Sex, favors, someone kissing your ass. It's human nature… Pony nature… It's just nature, period. The point is… I don't do that anymore. I've changed. For many reasons but I think that the main reason is Pepper. She was always there, you know, I just didn't notice until much later. Maybe it's the same with her. Maybe Rarity is like you said or maybe she is like I said, in the end it doesn't matter, because if she's like I said… Maybe she'll notice you and she'll change. Maybe you're her Pepper"

"You… you're being nice to me?" Spike asked

"Don't get used to it" Stark smirked

"So… you think I should stick with Rarity?"

"Honestly? I don't really care" Stark said "I mean, I think it's obvious that you have stronger feelings for the horned one, but if there's something that cheesy 80's teen movies have taught me is that the girl of your dreams may not be the right girl for you and you should instead date the shy, delicate girl next door who had always been nice to you. But what does John Hughes know?"

"Well… That does nothing to solve my dilemma…" Spike says "But thanks anyway"

They were approaching the hospital.

"I gotta ask, have you ever been interested in someone of your own species? You know, a dragon girl?" Stark asked him once they were near the main entrance "Or do you only have a hard-on for ponies?"

Spike frowns at him

"I'll take that as a no"

Before they enter, with his hoof on the door, Stark turns to Spike again.

"You should consider yourself lucky, all things considered" Stark said "It's not everyone who gets to see their crushes naked on a daily basis"

15 minutes earlier (again)

"You're so sweet" Natashy kissed Spike on the cheek and turned towards Rarity's place.

Natashy focus on her destination, ignoring everything else, including the singing coming from the library she just left, the large griffon that followed her from the skies, and the red-haired pony who was walking towards her. She doesn't notice any of those things because she's too busy thinking over all the information she received in the last couple of hours she's been here, and in the last few days, back home, from her interaction with the ponies who occupied the minds of Rogers, Stark, and Thor. Her mind feels blurry though, some of the things she tries to remember draw a blank. Could this be an effect of the rift? Or is it...

"Fluttershy! Wait!"

Natashy turns around to see a red-haired pony walking after her, carrying a basket of roses on her back "Oh, uh… yes?" Natashy replied, soft, unsure and coyly, staying in-character

"Finally! I've been calling you for two minutes!"

"Oh, forgive me, I'm terribly sorry!" Natashy said, still in-character. Who the hell is this? What does she want?

"Oh, it's okay" the pony named Rose said "I just wanted to thank you again for taking care of my parakeet. She's much better now"

"Oh, it really was nothing. You're welcome" New information: Fluttershy knows how to take care of birds. Ornithologist or veterinarian?

"I didn't get to pay you that day" Rose said, already grabbing her purse from the side of the basket of roses

"Oh, please, don't" Natashy stopped her "It was a pleasure. I really don't need…"

"I insist"

"I can't accept it" Natashy smiled. Maybe she should accept it, if it meant that this mare would leave her alone so she could resume to her destination…

At that moment, Rainbow Stark passed them by. Natashy didn't notice him. Stark glanced at her. Up already? Pfft! I knew it was nothing. Such a whiner. He kept going towards the library without stopping or saying a word.

Rose smiled "At the very least accept these roses as a sign of my gratitude" she said grabbing a few roses from her basket with her mouth, and putting them on Natashy's bag together with her tools.

"I… thanks…" Natashy smiled at her

"No. Thank you" Rose gave her one last smile and trotted back to her flowers stand.

Natashy observed her, contemplative. She looks at the roses left in her bag. She smells them. She smiles. She can't remember the last time she 'stopped and smelled the roses' as they say. For a brief moment, she feels a peace that she never felt before…

"SWEETIE BELLE!" the sudden shouting surprises Natashy and takes her away from her thoughts. She turns her head just in time to see three fillies almost crash into her, running away. She keeps looking at the running fillies for a few seconds, curious, before she turns back to look at the origin of the yell. Her destination. Rarity's place.

"Rarity?! Is everything okay?" Steve ran upstairs, worried

There he finds Rarity, using her magic to clean up the mess Sweetie Belle left in her wake, grumbling angrily at herself.

"Rarity?" Steve asks again

"WHAT?" Rarity snaps at him before she recomposes herself "Oh, it's you Steve, darling. I'm sorry I scared you. There's nothing to be worried about. I'm just cleaning up after Sweetie Belle. She's such a little… darling. Such a little darling" Rarity's eye twitches as her forced smile trembles.

"Are… are you sure you're alright?" Steve asks

"Of course, dear" Rarity's eye twitches again

"Do you… do you want my help?"

"Oh, Stevie… There really is no need for…" Rarity takes a look around the room, then turns back at Steve, desperation in her eyes "Please"

Steve chuckles "I'd be glad to help"

"Hello? Anybody home?" Fluttershy's (Natashy's) voice comes from downstairs

"Fluttershy?" Rarity said and then looked at Steve

"It's okay, I'll see what she wants" Steve said

"Oh, okay. Thanks" Rarity smiled. Her smile disappeared once she looked around the messy room again

Steve followed her look "Actually… Why don't you go see what she wants and I clean up here?"

Rarity smiles "Thanks, darling. Just… just organize the fabrics in piles over there and I'll later put them in their right places"

Steve nodded and Rarity climbed down the stairs.

"Fluttershy! Hi! Are you feeling better, sweetie?" Rarity greeted her

"Oh, hi" Natashy answered "I'm feeling much better, thank you"

"I'm glad to hear it, darling" Rarity said, hugging Natashy "What brings you here?"

"I… I was expecting to talk to…" Natashy pauses. This must be Rarity. Bruce seemed to suggest that she knows about Steve. Should she drop her cover? "I… I wanted to talk to Steve. Is he here?"

Slowly, a smile begins to appear on Rarity's face "Oh, so you want to talk to Steve, huh?" she winked at her

Natashy squints at Rarity's tone "Uh… yes"

"Oh, my" Rarity sighs, lovingly "Somepony was bitten by the love bug"

"I'm sorry?"

"Oh, darling, you don't need to hide your feelings from me. I can see that you've been hooked" Rarity says "and you have my approval. Steve is a great suitor, unlike certain…"

"Look, I don't have time for this" Natashy cut her off, dropping her cover "I need to speak to him. Could you call him?"

Rarity was put off by 'Fluttershy's' uncharacteristic tone "F-Fluttershy? Are you feeling alright, sweetie?"

Natashy turns to look at Rarity. Rarity's blood freezes. The coldness she saw on 'Fluttershy's' eyes disturbed her.

"My name is Natasha Romanoff" Natashy introduced herself "I'm afraid I've been swapped with your friend"

Rarity's brain takes a moment to register what Natashy's said "Oh. Oh! Of course! T-that makes sense" she sighs, relieved "You're one of Stark's friends, then?"

Natashy smirks, almost chuckling "Is that how you call us? 'Stark's friends'?" Natashy asks in a much more warm and welcoming tone than she used before, putting Rarity at ease

"Kind of" Rarity answered, giggling "But I'm starting to think that that appellation may not be accurate"

"Yeah. 'Friend' isn't really how I would describe our relationship" Natashy smiled "And considering his history with women and the way he was ogling me when we first met, I think that having friendships with girls is far beyond his capabilities and self-restraint"

"Oh, you're a girl? That's wonderful!" Rarity smiled "I thought all of Stark's frien… uh… partners were boys!"

Natashy doesn't reply. She just gives Rarity a side smile.

"Well, it must be hard being surrounded by all that testosterone" Rarity laughed "You sure must miss another girl to hang out, gossip, and try new dresses with, right?"

Natashy laughs "Heh, heh, heh… no" her smile disappears as she goes back to the same icy, non-nonsense stance she had earlier "If that will be all, could you please call Steve?"

Rarity gulps, Natashy's cold eyes staring at her. A look that seemed to say I can break every single bone in your body with ridiculous ease and odds are I'm gonna do it unless you stop wasting my time and does as I say. Rarity takes a step back, terrified "S-sure, I-I… S-St… uh…" Natashy's stare intensifies "STEVE!" Rarity screams

"Rarity! Is something wrong?" Steve yelled back, quickly trotting downstairs

Something wrong? Yes, there seems to be something wrong with this character here… Rarity thought, glancing at Natashy. Natashy was still staring at her. Rarity gulps again "Y-your friend, Na-Natasha is here…" Rarity stuttered, nervous

"Natasha?" Steve asked the yellow Pegasus

"Steve?" Natashy asked back with a smirk and a raised eyebrow

"How long have you been here?"

"Not too long ago" Natashy replied "I've talked to Banner. He told me you were here. He didn't know where here was, so I had to ask the purple guy"

"Spike?" Steve said

"So that's his name" Natashy said "Can he be trusted?"

"But of course! Spike is…" Rarity begins to say

"Didn't ask you" Natashy cut her off, without even looking at her

"Yes, he can" Steve answered her

"Good" Natashy says "So, what's the situation?"

"I'm not sure yet" Steve says "Discord has given us 24 hours… I think we only have 18 left. Banner is trying to jumpstart the Elements to bring us back home, but I don't think we should rely on that plan. I think we should stay and fight before we return"

"Are we in conditions to fight?"

"We're working on it" Steve said and touched the shield Stark made him "At the very least, we can offer some resistance"

"What about you?" Natashy turned to Rarity "Can you hold your own? Have you ever been in a fight?"

"Me and the girls had our share of scuffles, yes" Rarity answered

"Have you ever killed anyone?"

"Dear goodness, no!" Rarity replied, shocked "H-have you?"

Natashy stares at Rarity, that same icy stare of before "Yes. Plenty" she says. Rarity whimpers.

"I… I d… I don't think I…"

"You don't think you could take a life?" Natashy asks "Well, darling… you may not have a choice. You need to be ready for whatever comes your way. You may end up with blood in your ha… hooves. It's up to you to decide whose blood that gonna be: Theirs or yours?"

Rarity's eyes are fixated on Natashy's, fearful "I… I think… Oh, my! I still have to clean up the mess upstairs! Hahaha! I'm so forgetful! I… I'm gonna go now and… you two keep talking… Yes, do that!" Rarity smiles nervously and runs like hay upstairs, without looking back

"You sure know how to make an impression" Steve commented, turning to Natashy

"Don't you remember the way Rainbow Dash and Twilight were shocked when they heard about Loki stabbing Thor?" Natashy asks him "And then Loki almost killed them all! These ponies are in our world, in our bodies, and they'll have to fight Loki and whatever he has under his sleeve! He won't pull any punches! If this switcheroo keeps going, then these ponies will need to learn that they'll face a world that is much less nice than the one they're used to"

"I guess you're right…"

"Let's not talk about Loki. There's nothing we can do about him" Natashy said "Let's focus on our enemy here. This Discord. Tell me about him. Can we stop him?"

Steve looks around, as if making sure that they're alone. He turns back at Natashy "Very well, then. Here's what you need to know…"

15 minutes earl… or maybe it's just 10… or it's happening right now… I don't even know anymore…

"That will be all, Mrs. Cake" Nurse Redheart said to the happy couple "You and your husband need to return next week so we can continue your prenatal care"

"Thank you so much" Mrs. Cake said and then turned to her husband "Let's go, honey"

Redheart smiled as the Cakes left the hospital. She was still watching them when she accidentally dropped her clipboard, causing it to slide under a table.

Redheart groans as she lowers herself to try and retrieve the clipboard.

"Hellooooooooooooo Nurse!"

Redheart turns around to see Rainbow Stark smiling sleazily, staring at her butt.

"Rainbow Dash?" Redheart said, standing upright "Can I help you?"

"Sure. Just turn back to the position you were before. That will be of great help" Stark said raising his eyebrows suggestively

"Stark!" Spike, who Nurse Redheart just now noticed was standing beside Stark, yelled at him

"Alright! Alright! I know" Stark said and then turned back at Nurse Redheart "Me and Short Round here are looking for Tho… Twilight"

"Of course you are" Redheart said with a groan "Unfortunately, Ms. Sparkle had to be restrained and moved to the Psych Ward"

"Heh, awesome" Stark chuckled

"What?!" Spike said "But Rarity asked you…"

"I'm sorry but it was necessary" Redheart said

"Not surprised" Stark said, nonchalantly "If you don't have mental problems, you're no friend of mine"

"Don't worry, though" Redheart continued "Once she showed signs of getting calm and cooperating, we removed her straitjacket and let her out of her padded room. She's now on the common room. Under supervision, of course"

"Well, lead the way, Nurse Ratched" Stark quipped

"Uh, it's Redheart" Redheart corrected

"Oh, really?" Stark smirked "An honest mistake"

Stark, Spike and Ratch… Redheart arrive on the common room and find Thor Sparkle sitting on a table, talking to the same blue pony who was barking words of support at him earlier that day.

"Hey, buddy, how's it going?" Stark greeted his friend

Thor turns to look at Stark and Spike. He gives a big smile "My friends! I am much rejoiced to see you once again!" he stood up and hugged them

"Good to see you too, buddy" Stark said "I see you're making some acquaintances"

"Oh, yes! My friends, I want you to meet Screw Loose!" Thor introduced his new friend to Stark and Spike "She's full of wisdom!"

"Woof!" Screw Loose barked

"Screw Loose? Her name's Screw Loose? She's a wacko and her name is Screw Loose?" Stark said, skeptical "What? She was born like this? Her parents were clairvoyants?"

"Woof! Woof!" Screw Loose replied

"Is there anybody here named Basket Case?" Stark asked out loud. A pony in the back raised his hoof.

"Oh, do not fret, Man of Iron" Thor said "Screw Loose confided me that this is not her real identity! In reality, she's a member of the Royal Family much like myself! How amusing are the turns of fate, right, my friends?"

"I'm a princess!" Screw Loose said with a manic grin "Woof!"

"You're not a princess, Ms. Loose" Nurse Redheart intervened "We already went through this in group therapy"

"Yes, I am! Woof! My evil sister trapped me in the moon! But little does she know I escaped to reclaim my throne! Mwahahahahahahwoof!"

Nurse Redheart rubs her temple "First, you're not Princess Luna. Second, Princess Celestia is not evil. Third, Luna has escaped from the moon months ago and it's no secret. Fourth and last, she has already regained her position in the Equestrian royalty without…"

"I am loony!" Screw Loose cut her off "Therefore I am Luna! Canterlot, woof, woof, will suffer my vengeance! Woof!"

"I think we should ask Dr. Gregory Horse to amp her dosage of Thorazine" Stark whispered to Nurse Redheart

"I… don't think we have a doctor by that name here" Redheart replied him "But I'll take your suggestion into consideration"

"I'm glad you're having fun, buddy" Stark turned to Thor "The Loony Bin is a great place to meet other princes, gods, aliens, and Napoleons. But it's time to go"

"I'm sorry, Ms. Dash, but Ms. Sparkle isn't in conditions to leave" Nurse Redheart interrupted him "Not only does she need more rest for her leg to fully heal, but her psychological state is concerning. Her delusions and outbursts of violence have…"

"Outbursts of violence?" Stark said, and then turned towards Thor "I thought you were here just because of your 'I'm the God of Thunder! Hear me roar!' thing. You had 'outbursts of violence'? What did you do?"

Thor looks ashamed "I'm deeply sorry for my previous behavior, noble healer" Thor Sparkle lowered his head in reverence to Redheart "I was blinded by anger and frustration, being hindered by my afflicted limb, restrained in a bed, unable to help my friends, and being served a vastly unsatisfactory meal, that I ended up unjustly taking it out on you, like the spoiled, petulant child I thought I had ceased to being. You treated me better than my manners entitled me too. I hope I can earn your forgiveness"

"My, my… You really threw a hissy fit just because you were stuck on a hospital eating shitty food? You should consider yourself lucky that you're being treated at all!" Stark said "You know what we do to horses with a limp back home? Here's a hint: We don't bring them to the hospital"

"Well, it's… it's nice for you to admit to the err of your ways, and it's definitely a good sign for the development of your recovery" Nurse Redheart said "But that still doesn't mean you're free to go"

Thor gave a brief nod "I understand" Thor grabbed Redheart's hoof, who looks at him in surprise and confusion "I am thankful for your patience and for your care" Thor kissed her hoof and then looked her in the eyes, with a warm smile and tender eyes, the kind that can make you start questioning your sexual orientation.

Redheart blushes.

"Hey! Cut that out!" Stark said, feigning indignation "I saw her first!" he then turns to Redheart with a mischievous smirk "So, when does your shift end?"

Normally, Nurse Redheart would pay no mind to Stark's question, but, thanks to Thor, she was now in 'Question-Your-Own-Sexuality' mode. She turns flustered at him "I… I'm s-sorry… wha… I… huh?" she stutters

"At loss of words? Yeah, I can cause that effect" Stark winked at her, making her even more flustered "Now, I know you have your 'work ethics' and probably made a hypocritical oath, or whatever it's called, but couldn't you discharge hi… her a little sooner? It's important"

Redheart takes a minute to 'reboot' her brain. Like waking up from a trance, she blinks and shakes her head "I… uh… I'm sorry, Rainbow, but… surely, it can't be more important than the well being of your friend"

"Well, it depends of how important you consider the enslavement of your entire species to be" Stark said "A storm is coming and we need Princess Peach's apprentice…"

"Princess Celestia" Spike corrected

"…Princess Celestia's apprentice to be fighting by our side and bringing us victory!" Stark said, pumping his fist (hoof) "Surely, you understand"

"I would love to assist you in battle, my friend, but, it pains me to admit, I'm really in no conditions to" Thor said, defeated "Even disregarding my injured leg, I lack strength and prowess in this form, and, despite this body's natural aptitude for magic, all my attempts at conjuring it had been meager. In my current state, I fail both as a warrior and a sorcerer. So, tell me, how could I ever hope to vanquish our adversaries in the battle that is to come?"

"Well, you can always stab them with your horn" Stark said "Like you did in Cabin In The Woods"

"Cabin in the woods?" Thor said, confused "I've never been to a cabin in the woods"

"Funny" Stark replied "I could swear you were there"

"I know the secret to defeat Discord" Screw Loose said, grinning "The great Starswirl, the Bearded told me when he visited me on the moon"

"I DID NOT!" another patient screams from the other side of the room

"Shut up! You're not Starswirl, the Bearded!" Screw Loose shouted back "You don't even have a beard!"

"My beard is invisible!" the other pony yelled "I invisibled it with MAGIC!"

"LIAR! You're just a crazy Earth Pony! Woof!" Screw Loose kept yelling "And everypony knows Starswirl wasn't an Earth Pony! He was a tomato!"

"I turned into an Earth Pony with magic!" the pony rebutted

"Oh, yeah? And what about…"

"MAGIC!"

Ignoring the debate between the two nut jobs, Nurse Redheart turns to Stark "I'm sorry, Ms. Dash, but I must agree with Ms. Sparkle. She's in no conditions to…"

"You agree with her? Of course you agree with her. What she said makes a lot of sense. Which means that she already recovered her mental faculties" Stark said "So, that only leaves us with the leg. Strap that bitch in a wheelchair and we're out of here"

"Frankly, Ms. Dash, do you wish your friend to suffer further injury?" Nurse Redheart said

"We just need her real quick" Stark said "We'll bring her back. I promise"

Redheart looks unsure before relenting "Alright. Fine. But, you have to bring her back and she'll need to go through some checkups before she can leave"

"I agree" Stark said

"And I'll need you to sign some papers"

"Well, that looks like a job for our scribe!" Stark said "Hey, scribe!" he turned back to the table and saw Thor and Spike listening to a story Screw Loose was telling

"…nopony cared that I was stuck on the moon. Nopony talked to me. Except the wolves. They always howled at the moon, talking to me, keeping me company" Screw was rambling "That's why I bark. To talk to them… My only friends"

"What about Starswirl?" Spike, who was bored by this whole thing, asked her

"What about him?"

"Didn't you say he visited you in the moon?" Spike asked, indulging (or confronting) her in her delusions "Now, you're saying that only the wolves cared. What would he say, knowing that you dismiss him like that?"

Screw Loose stares intensely at him "Nothing, you idiot! Starswirl is dead!" she shouts "He's locked in my basement! Woof, woof!"

"Uh… okay" Spike said, retreating slowly from her

"Hey, scribe" Stark touched him in the shoulder causing him to jump

"W-what?"

"Meredith Grey agreed to let Thor go, but first he'll need to go over a checkup and you'll have to sign a few papers for his release" Stark explained "I'll check up on how Bruce's going, so once you're two are finished here, meet us at Sweet Apple Acres. If you find yourself with time to spare, maybe you can consult a psychologist to help you with your Reverse Betty & Veronica situation"

"Uh… sure"

"Oh, and do me a favor" Stark said "Try to keep Thor away from Michael Myers over there"

"At Nightmare Moon's Night, I come home" Screw Loose grinned manically

Stark's eyes widen. Did she understand his reference? To the point of paraphrasing the movie's tagline? Suddenly, John Carpenter's Halloween theme begins to play in his head.

"Ooookay… I'll tell Dr. Loomis to keep you sedated" he then turns to Thor "Hey, buddy. The Big Nurse here will put you through some exams and you'll be free to go" Thor nodded, acknowledging "See you soon, sweetheart" Stark smiled, charmingly at Redheart

"It's Redheart" Redheart said "Nurse Sweetheart works the night shift"

"Are you sure? Let me check" Stark said, and then gazed upon her blue eyes "Nope. You're definitely a sweetheart"

Redheart tries, unsuccessfully, to take her eyes away from Stark's as her cheeks become as red as her Cutie Mark "I… I…"

Stark smirks I still got it "Goodbye, my sweet red heart" he whispered and left the hospital, as Redheart stood there, numb, taking a few seconds to realize, to her horror, she was staring at Rainbow Stark's butt the whole time.

"I wish to apologize once again for my misdeeds, Healer Redheart" Thor approached her, breaking her from her trance

"Wh… huh?" she turns her head at him

"I want you to know that I have the most regard for those like yourself who dedicate their lives to treat others" Thor said with a wide, warm smile "And, despite my childish tantrum, I feel fortunate for being under your care and look forward to your examination of my body!" he kisses Redheart's hoof once again

FUN FACT: Apart from Thunder, Thor is, among many other things, the God of Healing. In the original 60's comics, he disguised himself in the mortal form of physician Dr. Donald Blake who fell in love with his assistant, Nurse Jane Foster. Don Blake also limped from a leg, like Thor Sparkle does at the moment.

"So, shall we begin?" Thor asked, smiling

Redheart looks at Thor(Twilight)'s lovingly eyes and contagious, broad smile. Her face expresses confusion and panic "Actually… I think I need a break" she says, calmly, and retreats to take a cold shower.

Somewhen (This chapter goes back and forth in time more often than The Butterfly Effect)…

Natashy leaves the Carousel Boutique, processing everything that Steve just told her. About this world. About Discord. About everything. She's not sure of what she must do. She needs to stop and think.

She sits nearby the town's fountain, watching as the townsponies come and go. Oblivious to the chaos that waits them. Steve said that he tried to warn them and that they all panicked and hid. They seem calmer now. Must have short-term memory or something. Or maybe they thought that whatever danger was coming, it was vanquished before it could affect them. Steve thinks that, with the right incentive, these ponies can be a force to be reckoned with, a force that can defeat Discord. Natashy has serious doubts about that.

Natashy has serious doubts about Steve's entire plan to be honest.

"Fluttershy?"

Natashy turns around to see a pony couple waving at her "Yes?" she replies, returning to her coy disguise

"We're so glad we bumped into you" Mrs. Cake said as she and her husband came near "We want to ask you something"

Чёрт возьми́! What now?!

"Uh… of course, what is it?" Natashy smiled while cursing inwards

Mr. & Mrs. Cake glance lovingly at each other before replying "Well, first we need to tell you the good news: I'm pregnant"

"Oh… Oh, my! That's wonderful! Congratulations!" Natashy replied, feigning jubilation

"Thank you!" Mrs. Cake smiled back "So, we were wondering, once the baby arrives, if you could take care of him whenever we had to leave him alone"

"You… you want me to babysit?" Natashy asked, surprised

"Is there a problem?" Mr. Cake asked

"Uh, no… it's just… why me?" Natashy asked, hoping that, maybe, whatever they answer will shed more light on who Fluttershy, her disguise, is.

"Oh, well, we thought about Pinkie first, but…" Mrs. Cake begins to say

They both pause and look uneasy at each other, making a silent exchange of words. Natashy finds it curious, if not a little suspicious.

"But... 'Pinkie' is, well, you know..." Mr. Cake said

"Pinkie's a sweetheart" Mrs. Cake said, smiling, trying to be reassuring "But we need somepony who we can really trust to take care of our baby"

"And we're not sure she can be trusted…" Mr. Cake says, taking an awkward pause before continuing "…with that kind of responsibility, I mean"

Natashy caught a feeling of betrayal on his expression "And you… trust me?" she asks

Way more than I trust a lying fugitive Mr. Cake thinks

"Of course we do, sweetie!" Mrs. Cake smiled "Rarity told us how great you were taking care of her sister and the girls"

Good with birds and good with children. I've changed bodies with a Disney princess.

"So, could you be our babysitter for when the baby arrives?" Mr. Cake asked her

Natashy smiled "I'd be delighted"

"Thank you, sweetheart" Mrs. Cake said and then nodded to her husband as they trotted back to their store.

Natashy watches them go, contemplative. She looks up at the sky and sees birds and Pegasi flying by. She looks back at the town square. She sees Rose waving at her. She smiles and looks back to the roses on her bag. Next to the roses are the tools she took from the Apples' barn. Her smile fades as the gears of her mind are set in motion. Finally she knew what she had to do.

"Spike?" Natashy says as she enters the library. Nobody answers. Good. She scans the shelves attentively until she finds a geography book. She takes it and flips the pages until she finds a map of the town. She slides her hoof over the map, looking for the place Steve said that Discord told them he would be waiting. There it is. The Ghastly Gorge. Natashy smiles. She memorizes the path and closes the book.

Meanwhile (Probably)...

Bruce blinks his eyes and looks around. He swears that every time he turns back to his work, a flash of light appears from somewhere. He looks at the sky. Nope. The sun is not in the right position to be reflecting the…

"That one looks either like an ice cream cone or a giant dildo"

Bruce turns his head to see Rainbow Stark looking up "I'm sorry, what?"

"Huh?" Stark said, turning back to him "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were looking for shapes in the clouds"

"What? Oh, no. I was just… Forget it. It was nothing" Bruce said "So, did you talk to Romanoff?"

"Romanoff?" Stark asked, curious

"Yeah, she…" another flash of light appears "Did you see that?"

"See what?" Stark asks

Bruce looks around again before continuing "Never mind. Romanoff said she would meet up with you in the barn. Didn't she?"

"I've left the barn quite a while ago" Stark said "I didn't even know she was here"

"Yeah, she was swapped with Fluttershy" Bruce said

"Fluttershy?" Stark said, amused "Ha! I guess that explains Spike's sudden infatuation for her. I should tell him… but I won't"

Click! Another flash goes off. This time, Stark notices.

"Oh, no!" Featherweight whispers, as the wind blows the picture out of his Polaroid, making it land right on Rainbow Stark's hooves.

"What is this?" Stark says, grabbing the picture showcasing Bruce's derrière "What the hell?!" he then turns his head towards the direction the picture came from and spots Featherweight hiding behind the bushes "Hey, you! What the fuck you think you're doing, you pervy voyeur?"

Featherweight panics and runs away.

"Yeah, run!" Stark shouts "Go find someone else to choke your chicken to, dipshit!"

"Uh, Tony?" Bruce approached him "What's going on?"

"Well, Bruce, it looks like you're a little pubescent boy's sexual fantasy" Stark smirked, showing him the picture

Bruce just grimaced at the picture, his cheeks turning pink. Uh… pinker.

"Oh, yeah" Stark kept teasing, 'admiring' the picture of Pinkie/Bruce's butt "Stacy's mom has got it going on"

"Tony, stop it" Bruce said, 1/4 annoyed, 1/4 embarrassed, and 2/4 amused

"Why he didn't take pictures of my ass?" Rainbow Stark pouted "Don't boys think I'm pretty too? I'm feeling insecure now. I think I'm gonna go home and cry over a bucket of ice cream"

"Oh, don't cry" Bruce decides to join in the tomfoolery "I'm sure plenty of boys masturbate thinking of you"

"Shut up! You're only saying that to make me feel better! …You really think so?" Stark asks. Bruce Pie nods, struggling to not laugh. Stark hugs him "Aw, shucks! You're the best friend a girl could ever ask for!"

Then they both laughed out loud.

"Who was that kid?" Stark asked, drying his tears "Was he following you around before?"

"I don't know" Bruce said "The other kids acted weird around me too"

"Other kids?"

"Yeah, three little girls" Bruce said "I went to talk to them and they just ran away"

"Three little girls, huh? So you've met Huey, Dewey, and Louie too?" Stark said "Do you think that little shit was with them?"

"I really wouldn't know. Didn't get to meet any of them very well since they all seem to run away as soon as I acknowledge their presence" Bruce replied

"Gotcha. So, how's your machine going?" Stark asked

"Well, didn't have time to test it, but I think it's ready to go"

"It's ready to go?" Natashy said, approaching them from behind "Well, that's great!"

"Oh, hello there, Agent Romanoff" Bruce said "Went for a tour of the town? What did you think of it?"

Natashy smiles "It's… picturesque" she then nods towards Rainbow Stark "I assume rainbow hair here is Stark"

"In flesh and lesbianism" Stark lowered his head, mocking reverence

Bruce frowns at him "What makes you think Rainbow Dash is a lesbian?"

"Oh, I don't know… Tomboy, sport freak, blue skin, rainbow hair…" Stark points to his head, using a tone as if he's stating the most obvious thing in the world

"Really, Tony? None of those things are enough to define someone's sexual…"

"Don't ruin the joke, Bruce" Stark cut him off

"And what about your armor, Stark?" Natashy asked him "It didn't look like you made much progress…"

"Pfft! True genius cannot be rushed" Stark said "Besides, I won't need it because Brucie here will bring us all back home with his fantastic machine"

"Well, I wouldn't be relying on that if I were you" Natashy said

"I agree with her, Tony" Bruce said "We shouldn't count our chickens before they hatch"

"Nonsense!" Stark said "It will work!"

"Right" Natashy said "Anyway, I'm glad I've found you both here. Rogers wants to talk to both of you at Rarity's as soon as possible"

"What does he want?" Bruce asked

"He didn't tell me" Natashy said "But I don't think you should leave him waiting"

Stark sighs "Whatever. Let's see what he wants"

"You're coming with us?" Bruce asked

"Oh, no" Natashy said "I'll be waiting for you right here"

"Uh… alright, then" Bruce said as he and Stark left to see Steve

Natashy watches them go. As soon as they're out of sight, she turns to the machine and drops her bag of tools on the ground.

On the clouds, Gilda squints. She can't see what Natashy's doing, but she doesn't dare to come closer.

Later…

"You've been awfully silent" Steve said as Rarity worked on his uniform "Is there anything wrong?"

Rarity looks at him and smiles "Oh, it's nothing, dear" she says and goes back to work

"It's Natasha, isn't it?"

Rarity freezes at the mention of her name "Oh… it's really none of my business…"

"Natasha can be a little harsh, but she's a good person" Steve said

"But she said she killed others" Rarity said

"So did I" Steve replied

Rarity stops what she's doing and looks shocked at Steve "Y-you did?"

"And so did Stark, and Thor, and Bruce. We all did" Steve said "We're soldiers in a war, Rarity. Unfortunately, Natasha is right: You can't win a war without spilling some blood"

Rarity frowns "Well, you can say that about your world, but around here we don't need to resort to something so barbaric"

"That sounds like the kind of world I'd like to live in" Steve says

Rarity looks at him and smiles. Steve smiles back.

"Are you two going to kiss or what?"

Steve and Rarity turn to look at Stark and Bruce watching them from the doorsteps.

"Stark? Banner?" Steve addressed them "What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean what we are doing here?" Stark said "You called us!"

"I'm sorry?" Steve said

"Kim Possible told us to meet you here!" Stark said

"Natasha said you wanted to see us, Steve" Bruce said

"She did?" Steve said, pensive "…okay, then. I wanted to know how's the progress on the… how do you call that machine of yours, Banner?"

"You dragged us away from the ranch just to ask us that?!" Stark said

"I didn't…" Steve begins to protest, but decides to stay quiet

"The machine's ready to go and no, I don't have a name for it yet" Bruce answered him

"Too bad Bifrost is already taken" Stark mused

"Well, I guess we're ready to go home then" Steve said

"Huh. I thought you were against us going back before facing Discord, Steve…"

"I still am" Steve said "But it's obvious that I'm the only one who holds that opinion and since this is a democracy…"

"Actually, I think this is a monarchy" Stark quipped

Steve glanced at him, annoyed "I'm not going to force you guys to do something you don't want to. If you all want to turn that machine on and go home, I won't fight you" he said "But we don't know if we're gonna have another shot at this, so if you're dead set about doing this, we need to gather everyone. Stark, you went to see Thor, how's he?"

"Fraternizing with the Schizo Gang in the Psych Ward" Stark said

"Thor is on the psychiatric ward?" Bruce asked him

"What?! But I asked them not to put him there!" Rarity said

"I know, right?" Stark said "Those doctors and their stupid degrees! They always think they know better than their patients no matter how many times we tell them that we already know what's wrong with us and how to treat it after we googled our symptoms! Who do they think they are?"

Rarity frowns at him "Well, in this case they really don't know better! Thor is not crazy!"

"Maybe we should enlighten them" Stark said "We could tell them the truth and soon afterwards we'd join Thor and maybe start our own rock band: The Straitjacketed Six!"

Rarity sighs "I guess you're right… Still, it's not fair for such a charming prince like him to be treated this way"

"Cough! Royalty brownnoser Cough!" Stark 'coughed'

Rarity heard him "I'm NOT a Royalty brownnoser!" Rarity said "I just think that it's very rare nowadays to find a Prince like Thor, who actually knows how to act noble and treat a lady properly" Rarity turns her head away, losing herself in the mists of memory "I still remember that day in the ball… I hoped to meet the enchanted prince that would make me his princess… As soon as I laid my eyes on Prince Blueblood I was so sure he was the one! I just knew that, before the night was over, we would be engaged!" Stark raises an eyebrow "But then, I…"

"Wait, wait, wait" Stark said "You expected him to be engaged to you on that same day?"

"Oh, yes, naturally" Rarity smiled but quickly went to a less cheerful stance "But what I thought would be the best night ever, soon turned into…"

"You wanted to be engaged to him on that same day?" Stark repeats his question, bewildered

"Yes, pay attention" Rarity said, impatient "So, as I was saying, it turned out he wasn't as charming as I first thought. It turned out he was rude, selfish, and without an ounce of class. It was such an awful disillusionment that…"

"Well, lucky you that he showed those characteristics that night!" Stark cut her off "Had he managed to conduct himself for that evening, you would be married to Mr. Dreadful right now! That's why you don't get engaged on the same day! Because you don't know who you're tying the knot with! What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"Excuse me!" Rarity said, offended "Blueblood was a prince! It was perfectly reasonable for me to expect him to be perf…"

"Who marries someone they just met?!" Stark shouted

"Alright! Alright! We're going through a tangent that is bringing us nowhere!" Steve interfered "Let's go back to the matter at hand! We can't leave Thor behind, so we'll need to take him out of the hospital"

"Already ahead of you" Stark said "I already convinced them to let Thor go. I've left Spike to take care of him, and told him to meet us at Sweet Apple Acres once they're finished. They should be leaving right about now"

Right about now…

"So, will that be all?" Spike asks giving the signed papers back to Nurse Redheart

"Yes, that's all" Redheart said "Keep an eye on her and don't let her strain her leg unnecessarily"

"Sure thing" Spike said "C'mon, Th… ilight. It's time to go"

"This is where I bid farewell, Princess Loose" Thor bowed in reverence "I hope you can right the wrongs done against you"

"Woof!" Screw Loose replied

"Out of curiosity" Spike said to Nurse Redheart "Why is Screw Loose here? She didn't hurt anypony, did she?"

"No" Redheart said "She was just caught kissing a statue and calling it her husband"

"Farewell, Lady Redheart" Thor kissed her hoof once again "I hope we can meet again in less painful circumstances" he chuckled with that beautiful smile he's know for

I DON'T LIKE GIRLS I LIKE BOYS I DON'T LIKE GIRLS I LIKE BOYS I DON'T LIKE GIRLS I LIKE BOYS…

"Have a nice day, Ms. Sparkle" Redheart said coldly, and turned around

Thor looks confused "It seems she hasn't forgiven me for my early behavior…"

"Uh… yeah, maybe" Spike said "C'mon, we need to meet the others at Sweet Apple Acres"

"Show the way, faithful dragon!" Thor said, grabbing the cane that was given to him, and following Spike out of the hospital

Right about then…

"Well, if that's taken care of, we should be leaving for the Acres" Steve said "I'll just take this off real quick. Just give me a minute" he said and went into the dressing room to take his uniform off

"You don't need to go there!" Stark said "We're all naked!"

"Huh. You're right!" Bruce said "We are, aren't we?"

Stark stares at him "You didn't notice?"

"Had more things in my mind" Bruce said "It's weird that I don't miss clothes?"

"Well, you're a half-naked green goliath half the time" Stark said "You tell me if you should miss clothes"

"Well, I sure don't miss having to wrap pieces of cloth around my waist until I could find a pair of pants to steal" Bruce said "You know, when she first woke in your body back home, Rainbow Dash wasn't used to wearing clothes all the time. She walked out of the bathroom to the living room to meet us. Completely. Naked"

Stark snorts "No kidding?" he then looks at Bruce, suggestively "Did you like what you saw?"

Bruce snickers.

"You wear clothes all the time back in your world?" Rarity asked, curious

"Yup" Stark replied

"Oh, my! I'd make a fortune there!" Rarity exclaims

"And I'd make a fortune here!" Bruce said "Considering all the money I'd save not having to replace shredded clothes…"

"Okay, I'm ready" Steve said, stepping out of the dressing room "Let's go! …Oh, wait! I forgot one thing!"

Steve grabs the shield Stark made him that was sitting on the corner.

"You really think you're gonna need that?"

"You never know" Steve replied. And so they marched towards the Sweet Apple Acres

A while later, on the Sweet Apple Acres…

Big Macintosh is restless.

He's been restless ever since he heard the news.

The only mild distraction he had during the period of then until now was a small Pegasus colt with a camera, asking him if he knew where Applebloom and her friends were. But even that mild distraction didn't last long. When Big Mac finally found them, and saw his baby sister eating pie, playing with her friends and having a good time, off to go on another one of their crusades… it took all his strength not to cry. Applebloom doesn't know about what happened to Applejack. She can't know. It would break her little heart. But he will tell her everything that happened as soon as it's all over and Applejack is back… if she ever comes back…

Big Mac shakes his head. He tries to work to distract his mind, but it's pointless. He can't concentrate on his farming duties, worried about his little sister alone and defenseless in some strange, alien world. Will those strangers be able to bring Applejack back? He needs to have faith… but he can't take it anymore! He needs to see what they're doing… See how long will it take for them to bring his sister back.

As he moves towards the place the pony named 'Bruce' chose to build his machine, he sees a familiar pink-maned yellow pony seemingly inspecting the huge contraption.

"Fluttershy?" he calls

Natashy turns her head. Using her hind legs, she discretely kicks all the things left on the ground into her bag.

"Oh, hello there" she greets him, smiling, while slowly closing the open control panel with her left hind leg "Can I help you?"

"What are you doing here?" he then looks around, before whispering to her "Do you know about the others too?"

"The… others?"

Big Mac looks around once again "Eeyup. There are some ponies from another world who had traded bodies with Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie. I know it's hard to believe but…"

"I'm one of them"

Big Mac blinks "Y-you are?"

"Natasha Romanoff" Natashy introduced herself, circling him with a sexy walk "And who would you be, if I may ask?"

Big Mac doesn't register the question. He just stares at Natashy. There was something about seeing Fluttershy talking like that, walking like that, and giving looks like those… with such confidence and sensuality… He couldn't explain. He blushes, even though nobody could tell, thanks to his very red skin "I… I'm s-sorry… you said something?"

"Your name?" Natashy asks again with an amused smirk

"Uh… oh… It's… I-it's Big…" his mind drifts away again

"Big, huh?" Natashy chuckled, and then measured him up and down "Yeah… I can tell. Nice to meet you, Big"

Big Mac gulps. Why does he suddenly feel the urge to grab a pillow and place it in between his hind legs?

"Oh, I'm afraid we'll have to chat some other time" Natashy said, turning her head "We have company"

Apple Rogers, Bruce Pie, Rarity, and Rainbow Stark had just arrived.

"Hi again, Steve" Natashy greeted him "Banner, Stark, Rarity…"

"Don't touch me!" Rarity recoiled

Natashy raised an eyebrow and then smirked "As you wish"

"Where were you?" Big Mac snaps at them "You were supposed to be working hard to bring my sister back, and yet I came here to find y'all were gone!"

"I'm sorry, Big Mac" Bruce apologized "We just had to meet up with Steve and regroup with the other guys… but the machine is ready! Like I promised you, I didn't rest until I finished it"

"Yeah, don't worry" Stark said "You'll get your Quick Draw McGraw back faster than you can say 'El Kabong'"

Seeing that they're distracted, Natashy seizes the opportunity to pick up her bag from the ground and put it back on her back, and to lock the control panel shut.

"Oh. Okay" Big Mac says "So, what are we waiting for?"

"We're waiting for…" Stark turns his head and smirks "…them"

Limping towards them was Thor, being assisted by both his cane and by Spike who offers him support.

"Thank you, my loyal companion" Thor Sparkle smiled at Spike and then turned to the others "Greetings, my brethren in arms!"

"A simple 'hello' will suffice, Thor" Stark said "It will always suffice"

"How are you feeling?" Steve addressed Thor

Thor's smile fades as he lowers his head "Like a burden"

"Oh, darling, you're not a burden" Rarity said

"Thanks for your words of comfort, Lady Rarity" Thor said "But not only does my injured leg incapacitates me for battle, it also makes me an easy target. I would only get in the way"

"So, you can't fight because of a limping leg?" Natashy said "Can't you use your magic?"

Thor looks at Natashy "You saw what happened the last time I've tried, Lady Shy" he says "I can't c…"

"Actually, she hasn't seen anything, buddy" Stark said "She just got here"

Thor looks confused at Stark.

"It's Romanoff" Stark whispered to him

"Lady Natasha!" Thor beamed

"Wait, who?" Spike said

"Thor" Natashy smiled

"What's going on?" Spike asked

Stark sighs "Do I have to spell it out for you? That's not Fluttershy. She's Natasha Romanoff, a friend of ours"

"Oh" Spike said "So it was her and not Fluttershy who…"

"Made you fall head over heels?" Stark smirked "Probably. Does that make you feel better?"

"Oh, yes" Spike answered and turned to look back at Natashy. Natashy glances at him with sultry eyes and a provocative smirk. Spike blushes "…oh, no"

"It's so unfortunate that we had to be reunited like this" Thor told Natashy "Verily, I'd much prefer that we would be back at Midgard for our next reunion"

"You wish will be granted, Thor" Bruce said, moving towards the jar containing the Elements of Harmony "If I did my math right, we all will be back in our respective bodies in a matter of moments"

"Perhaps we should escort the civilians out of the area" Stark quipped, nodding towards Spike, Big Macintosh, and Rarity

"I won't move one hoof out of here until I can see that my sister is alright!" Big Mac said

Steve looks concerned "Actually, I think it would be safer for everyone to…"

"I'm. Not. MOVING!" Big Mac roared at Steve Jack "I'm not goin' anywhere until you become her again!"

Steve gives him a minute to calm down "Listen, I understand how you're feeling but…"

"Steve. Let him" Natashy said and turned to Big Mac "Here, you can sit next to me, Big" she winked at him

Big Mac blushes and smiles nervously "Oh, gee… Uh, thank you. Thank you very much" he says, sitting on the right of Natashy

"You're welcome" Natashy smiled

Spike stares at them smiling and sitting next to each other. He doesn't like it. He's not sure why he doesn't like it, but he doesn't like it "I'll stay too" he says with crossed arms and a frown, and then sits on the left of Natashy

Rarity looks at Spike sitting by Natashy' side. Spike is such a darling and seeing him so close to that two-faced psycho worries her "Uh… so will I" she says, sitting next to Spike and glancing nervously at Natashy.

Steve sighs in defeat "Alright. If you're determined to stay, then stay"

Bruce Pie squeezes through the machinery to drop the Elements on its center. He squeezes out and moves towards the control panel "Well, are you all ready? Sitting comfortably? Very well. With no further delay, let's…"

"Are you sure about this?" Steve stopped him, putting his hoof on his shoulder "Don't you want to reconsider?"

"Reconsider what?" Bruce said and then smiled "Don't worry, Cap. It's all going to work out fine"

Steve looks like he's about to insist. But he just nods, and moves away to sit on his place, looking slightly restless.

"C'mon! While we're still young!" Stark said "Too late! Steve's already 90 years old"

"I'm 1043 years old" Thor said

"Nobody asked you, Thor"

"Alright. Fasten your seatbels, people and ponies" Bruce said and turned his machine on.

"What is a seatbelt?" Thor asked

The four columns that constitute the machine begin to glow. Four rays of light are shot, one from the tip of each column. Bruce turns a knob, shifting the rays until they all intersect on the Elements on the ground. The Elements react, glowing themselves, and then floating. An orb of magic begins to involve them. Bruce smiles with satisfaction. He looks at Stark who nods and smiles proudly at him.

Big Mac, Spike, Thor, and Rarity stare at the Elements of Harmony, expectantly. Natashy stares at the control panel.

Steve's gaze shifts from the Elements to Bruce Pie to the control panel and to the Elements back again.

Bruce was still smiling at Stark when, suddenly, sparks begin to fly from the control panel.

"What?! No. NO!" Bruce shields his eyes, pressing the buttons on the smoking control panel, trying to turn it off, when Steve abruptly pushes him out of the way.

"Wait! I have to fix it!" Bruce protests

"STAND BACK!" Steve shouts, putting his shield between them and the controls about to explode.

Which then explode.

"Bruce!" Stark shouts, worried

The small ball of fire reflects on the shield and hits the columns, distorting them. Now disrupted, the orb of magic that involved the Elements implodes, sending a vast array of beams on every direction. Two of them hit Big Mac and Rarity, knocking them down, while Natashy takes a step back, surprised, and Spike jumps in the air and hugs her, shocked and terrified. Natashy eyes him, annoyed.

A third beam shoots towards the sky, almost hitting Gilda who shrieks in surprise, travelling many miles until it hits an unsuspecting Pegasus far away from there. The Pegasus shakes her head and looks around. Seeing nothing, she shrugs. Must have hit a bird again.

The Elements fall on the ground, right on the center of the machine's wreckage, inert once again.

"Oh, my God! Oh, my God, no!" Bruce cried "I… I blew it! I was so sure, I… I went over my calculations three times… this… this wasn't supposed to happen…"

"It's okay, Banner" Steve said

"No, Steve! It's not okay!" Bruce said, angry "You know what happened the last time I was sure I was right, that nothing could go wrong, and then I fucked it up?! The Hulk! That's what happened! Oh, God…"

"It's not your fault, Banner" Steve said

"Oh, give me a break, Steve!" Bruce replied "It is my fault! This whole mess is my fault…"

"Bruce, listen to me" Steve said, dead serious "It's NOT your fault"

Bruce looks at him, curious.

"Get off" Natashy tells Spike who complies

Thor tries to help Rarity stand, ignoring the pain on his leg

"Rarity!" Spike says "Are you alright?"

"Huh? Oh, yes" Rarity said weakly "Thank you for your concern, darling"

Rarity smiles reassuringly at him. Spike smiles back.

Natashy looks at them. She then looks at Big Mac, lying on the ground, moaning, still not fully conscious. He looks at the others, all worried about something or someone else. She decides that this is the best moment for her to sneak away unnoticed and proceed with her 'mission'.

Up in the clouds, Gilda looks down, back at the demonic coven beneath her. She doesn't know what unholy ritual those spawns of evil had just performed but she knows its intent is malicious and she thanks Celestia she was able to dodge that beam before it hit her. Who knows how it would affect her? Probably turn her into one of them! Like they did with Dash! She looks down again and sees 'Rainbow Dash' coughing. Her heart aches with grief, grief that soon turns into anger. Dash's body is now nothing more than a vessel for a malign entity. She wants to land there, attack the impostor, and demand to know what they did with the real Dash and how to bring her back. But she isn't stupid to enter alone into the nest of the wicked. Her bruises are still sore from her early encounter with Flutter… Fluttershy! Gilda almost forgot about her! She scans the area until she finds her sneaking away suspiciously. You ain't gonna deceive me that easily Gilda frowns and follows Game on, bitc…

"Cough!" Rainbow Stark coughs on his hoof. He looks around, and sees Steve Jack saying something to Bruce Pie. Bruce looks surprised and slightly shocked by whatever it is that Steve just told him "Bruce!" Stark calls and runs toward them "Are you alright? What went wrong?"

Bruce hesitates. He eyes Steve. Steve gives him a brief but meaningful look and says "Bruce's fine. I'll see how the others are" and so he leaves them

Stark turns quizzically at Bruce. Bruce sighs "I…" he glances at Steve once again "…I blew it"

"You didn't blow it. You just…" Stark tries to think of words. Being reassuring isn't really his forte "I… it was… probably nothing. I bet you can fix it"

"Maybe" Bruce sighs "But I'll need to do everything from scratch. We don't have time to…"

"I can help!" Stark said "I can find the error and…"

"Please, don't" Bruce stopped him "There's no way we can finish this in time. Discord is gonna come and we're gonna need to have Iron Man on our side if we hope to have a chance against him. I can't turn into the Hulk and Thor doesn't have Mjolnir. You're the only one of us who can somehow be as powerful in this world as you are back home, Tony. And we're gonna need that. We're gonna need you to focus entirely in your armor and get it done in time"

"You… you're right" Stark then turns his head to look at Steve helping Big Mac up "I guess we're gonna have to follow Cap's plan after all"

"It seems so" Bruce says, also looking at Steve, seemingly upset

Big Mac rubs his eye as Steve Jack helps him up "What? I…" as his vision clears, he sees Steve "Applejack?" he asks, hopeful

Steve's sorry expression is enough of an answer.

"Enope... so, it didn't work…" Big Mac said, tears rolling from his eyes "You… you… YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BRING HER BACK!" he yells, angry

"Calm down, my red friend!" Thor pleads to him "Stark and Banner are doing everything they can"

Big Mac's anger fades. Only his sorrow remains "Oh, sister… where are ya?"

Steve takes a step forward "Big Mac, I promise…"

"I don't want to look at you right now, if ya don't mind" Big Mac said, eyes to the ground, trying not to look at the man wearing his sister's face

"I… I understand" Steve said

"Not a very happy turn of events, huh?" Spike says to Rarity

Rarity sighs and nods sadly in agreement. Not only does Discord's threat looms over them and her friends are still lost Celestia knows where but she's also stuck with that derange…

Where is she?! Natashy had disappeared! Rarity can't find her anywhere! Where could she be? Oh, dear goodness! She's behind me, isn't she?

She turns around and sees Rainbow Stark's face just inches away from hers "AH!" she screams

"What the hell?!" Stark says, surprised

"Oh, nothing. You just… caught me by surprise" Rarity said, feeling foolish "I think I'm a little nervous…"

"I think we're all in the right to feel a little nervous" Steve said "Now that Bruce's machine failed, it's only a matter of time before Discord makes his move"

"If he hadn't made his move already" Stark says, nodding towards what's left of Bruce's machine

"Discord said he wouldn't interfere" Steve remarked

Stark stares blankly at him "Steve… you do know where babies come from, right? And that Santa isn't real?"

"Who is this Santa that you speak of?" Thor asked

"Your dad" Stark quipped

Thor frowns "My father is very real"

"It wasn't Discord" Steve says

"What makes you so sure?" Stark asks, suspicious

"It doesn't matter" Bruce chimed in "Whoever it is to blame, the point remains that we're stuck here. Retreating is out of the question now. We're only left with 'attack' and 'defense', so let's work on that"

"I hate to say this, but I believe the best way to defend against magic is with magic" Stark said "It would be great if you knew how to use that thing, Thor"

Thor lowers his head "I don't know how, my friend"

"I didn't know how to not shit myself when I was a toddler. I learned how" Stark said "You have the horn. You have the means. You just need to learn how to use it. You need a mentor"

"A mentor?" Thor asks

"Twilight's mentor, to be more precise" Stark smirks "And luckily for us, she was already alerted! Right, shorty? By the way, shouldn't she be here already?"

"Uh… what?" Spike asked

"The Princess" Stark said "We sent that letter telling her about everything that was happening earlier today, remember? You even insisted in rewording it so it wouldn't hurt her precious feelings…"

"I… never sent that letter" Spike replies

"You WHAT?!" Stark barks

"You had a fit before I even started to reword it" Spike defended himself "I kinda dropped it and never picked it up after the fact"

"Okay, that's it! I'm gonna kill you and sell your corpse to a sushi bar!"

"Easy, soldier" Steve told Stark and turned to Spike "Could you write her a letter right now? We could really use her help"

"I'll do my best" Spike said "I just need a scroll and a pen"

Stark turns to Bruce "Bruce, a scroll and a pen, please"

"I don't have it" Bruce said, confused

Stark inserts his hoof inside Bruce Pie's mane and takes paper and pen out of it

"Thanks" Stark smiled

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Bruce stared at his own hair, dumbfounded

"Here" Stark said, handing Spike the materials "Now, write up"

Spike nodded and began to write the letter…

Having memorized Ponyville's map, Natashy finds her path, following the invisible line in the ground. She reaches her destination. Ghastly Gorge. Natashy stops and stares at the Gorge. She feels hesitant. Normally, this would be a piece of cake. She has done this a thousand times. But she has done this with people. People who she could predict. She has no idea what to expect from this meeting. She misses the time when she didn't have to deal with monsters and gods. She takes a deep breath and steps forward…

"HEY!"

Natashy turns her head around, looking for the source of the unexpected exclamation

Uphill, behind a small bush, three little fillies were arguing… well, two of them were arguing. The third one was looking at Natashy and trying to call the others' attention. They were following her. Natashy grimaces. Three little horses managed to follow her without her noticing it? She used to be more aware of her surroundings. Consequence of being in a new body, she supposes. She will need to retrain her senses.

The two fillies stopped arguing. Looks like they finally heard their third friend's warning. They slowly turn their heads to look at her. Natashy raises an eyebrow. The fillies scream.

"WE'VE BEEN SPOTTED! ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION!" one of them yells as they run away

Natashy smirks, amused. She looks around one more time to make sure no one else was following her and then proceeds to enter the Ghastly Gorge. She didn't look up, though.

Sitting on the clouds, Gilda observes her and the Crusaders. Like Natashy, she hasn't noticed the three fillies until one of them shouted 'Hey!'. What were they doing? Following Fluttershy? Do they suspect of her as well? Gilda looks back at the Ghastly Gorge. It could be a trap. If she hopes to defeat this nefarious plot, she'll need allies. And those fillies will have to do. Gilda takes off, following her new objective…

Dear Princess Celestia,

I hate to interrupt any and all important affairs I am sure you are attending to, but I wouldn't be here asking for your help unless it was absolutely necessary.

I don't know if you remember the letter Twilight sent you a few days earlier reporting a certain body transference between Rainbow Dash and a being from another dimension. You wrote back that you were not aware of any spell which would allow such a thing but was sure that Twilight would find a solution. Well, I am afraid I must inform you that she did not find a solution and things have actually gone worse.

Now, I am not insinuating that you misjudged Twilight's capacity. Far from it. I am certain that your character judgment remains as impeccable and wise as ever, and I am fairly sure that Twilight would eventually find a way to revert everything to normal. The problem is that, before she could find said solution, she herself suffered a body transference too! And, sadly, she is not the only one. Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy have also been send to a world unknown. Rarity and I are the only ones who have not been affected by this mysterious spell yet.

I am afraid our misfortune does not end there. Discord has escaped once again, the Elements of Harmony don't seem to respond well to the beings that now occupy the bodies of Twilight and her friends, and, according to them, Twilight and her friends may be facing serious danger in the world they are now trapped in.

Discord's threat is imminent and we don't know what to do! We hope you, in your vast wisdom, can help us.

We understand if you are too busy, though.

Your faithful subject,

Spike

"You're such an ass kisser"

"Tony" Bruce said

"What? He is!" Stark protested "He wants to kiss that ass over there" he points at Rarity

"Tony… just give the letter back to Spike, ok?" Steve said

"Burn it up, purple gnome" Stark gives the letter back to a frowning Spike who then proceeded to burn it.

"TRAITOR!" Thor tackles Spike to everyone's surprise. He then screams in pain, had forgotten his leg injury.

"Thor! What the hell?!" Bruce says as he, Stark, Big Mac and Steve drag him out from Spike

"He's in allegiance with our enemy!" Thor declares

"What?! No, I'm not!" Spike says

"Then why did you destroy the letter that contained our plea for help?" Thor asks, distrustful

"Oh, that's just how he send letters to the princess" Stark explained "He burns them with magic vomit"

"Oh" Thor said

"Really? Tell the truth, I was also wondering why he burned the letter" Bruce said

"So was I" Steve confessed

"I think we should write a pamphlet about this place's idiosyncrasies to give to whoever else gets swapped, so shit like this doesn't happen again" Stark said

"I'm truly sorry for that misunderstanding, my friend" Thor apologized to Spike

"Oh, it's alBURP!" Spike tries to say before burping Princess Celestia's reply

"See?" Stark said to Thor, grabbing the letter "It's the Yuck Express"

"What does it say?" Steve asked Stark

"Dear Royal Doormat…"

"Tony" Steve said in a warning tone "Read it as it is"

"Spoilsport" Stark says. At that same time, a curious Featherweight hid behind a nearby bush to hear them better.

"Dear Spike,

Thank you for informing me of the situation. It sounds very worrying indeed.

Tell our guests from the other world to remain calm. I am coming right away to help anyway I can.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia" Stark finishes reading "Well, it seems that the Princess is coming to help us"

"Great!" Steve said "With her on our side, we can really turn the tides against Discord"

"Well, I don't know about you guys" Stark said "But I'm not willing to bet all my chips on Princess Sunshine. And I'm not about to let her get all the glory either, so, if we're done here, I'm going back to the barn to work on my suit, alright?" and then he goes

"Well, we need to finish your suit too, don't we, darling?" Rarity said to Steve "Unless you think that Princess Celestia is enough of an inspiration that we won't need Captain Equestria anymore, of course…" she concludes, unsure

"Well, it would be a real shame to put all that good work you did to waste" Steve said "And you know what they say: Better safe than sorry"

Rarity beams "Oh, wonderful! Let's go right away. No time to lose"

Steve chuckles and follows Rarity back to the Carousel Boutique.

"I guess I'll have to wait here for the esteemed Princess" Thor said "So she can teach me her ways of…" he stops what he was saying as his stomach growls and aches

"What's the matter?" Big Mac asked him "You're hungry?"

"I suppose I should have accepted the meal Lady Redheart was trying to offer me…"

"Granny Smith was making some pies for the girls earlier" Big Mac said "Would you like to come and see if she has any left for you?"

"Thank you, kind friend!" Thor smiled "I would love to savor your grandmother's treats!"

Thor and Big Mac walk towards the Apples' home, passing dangerously close to where Featherweight was hiding. Not wanting to push his luck further, Featherweight decides to retreat, so he can observe (but not listen) from a safe distance.

"Well, I guess it's just you and me now…" Spike says "Bruce?"

Bruce wasn't paying attention. He was staring at the wreckage, a piece of what used to be the control panel on his hooves. Suddenly, he screams in fury and frustration, hitting everything he saw with the metal slab he was holding, kicking everything, punching everything, throwing everything, breaking everything, and smashing everything, scaring Spike.

"Bruce? Are you alright?" Spike asks

"I'm fine" Bruce replies "I'm sorry for that. It's just that… I'm so used to internalize all my anger. But now that I don't need to… might as well vent all my frustrations while I still can"

"Well… do you feel better now that you let go of all your anger?"

"Oh, Spiky, Spiky, Spiky…" Bruce laughed "That wasn't even close to all of my anger…"

A small sparkle catches Bruce's eyes. He cleans up some of the wreckage and finds the gem of Laughter "I think we're still gonna need these things… could you help me find the rest?"

"Should have asked Rarity while she was here" Spike said "She's the one who excels at finding gems, but, sure, I help you"

"Thanks" Bruce said. After a few minutes he turns at Spike again "Spike, if you don't mind me asking, what is a dragon like you doing here, hanging out with ponies? Shouldn't you be with your own species? Did you decide to leave them or…"

"I think they decided to leave me…" Spike replies, melancholic "I was hatched from my egg by Twilight herself. She says she doesn't know where my egg came from. It was just… there. I've never met any dragons. I've been with ponies, with Twilight, my entire life"

"Oh, really?" Bruce said "At least you were raised by someone who loved you"

And so Spike and Bruce spent the rest of the afternoon searching for the Elements among the wreckage and getting to know each other better.

Inside the Apples' barn, Stark is ready to resume his work on his suit of armor. He approaches the table to grab his screwdriver. Which he can't find.

"Alright, who took my stuff?"

Inside the Ghastly Gorge, Natashy wanders. She stops. She can feel his presence.

"I know you're here" Natashy says out loud "So show yourself"

"Very well. As you wish"

From a puff of smoke, appeared the most bizarre creature Natashy has ever seen. She takes a step back, trying to assimilate the creature.

Discord notices her astonishment "Does my humble figure unsettle you?" he asks with a smirk

"I… wasn't expecting you to be so… imposing"

Discord chuckles "Flattery won't get you anywhere" he smirks "But don't let that stop you"

Natashy replies with a mirthless smile "My name is Natasha Romanoff" she introduces herself "I'm here to propose a deal"

"Figures" Discord said, cleaning wax from his ear and then eating it "So, what does the good captain expect to get from me? My surrender?" he laughs

"I'm here on my own account" Natashy said "Steve would never negotiate with you. He plans to rally the ponies to fight you, which, obviously, won't work. But he's too blind to see that"

"It sounds like you don't have much confidence on your leader's plan" Discord smiles. These beings from another dimension… Supposedly, they are a team, but there's an uneasy tension among them. A natural propensity for disagreement and mistrust. Discord must admit he is becoming quite fond of them.

"Nobody does" Natashy says "It's a suicidal plan. Even if he manages to rally every living being on this planet, it won't do. You overpower us in a ridiculous scale. Your victory over us is but certain"

"Oh, more flattery. You're making me blush" Discord mocked "You're right, of course, but I have to say, I'm curious: Don't you think your friends may find a way to make the Elements of Harmony work again? They are the only thing that can defeat me, you know, and if they…"

"They can't make it work" Natashy interrupted him "At least not to do what they want it to do. They were trying to use them to open another portal just now and…"

"Oh, yeah. I know" Discord said "I must confess I've been spying on them a little every now and then. But can you blame me? It kinda gets boring just sitting here and waiting. Especially after I've already turned all the vegetation and animal life around here into candy"

"So… you must know what happened then"

"Oh, yes! Nice explosion" Discord says, clearly amused "But I didn't do it" he smiles and puts his hands up, claiming innocence

"I know" Natashy says and then grabs a bunch of wires from her bag and throws them on the ground "Because I did"

Discord stares at her and the wires with genuine surprise "Whoa! Let's backtrack a minute! You sabotaged the machine? Why?"

"That machine wasn't going to defeat you" Natashy said "Even if it did work. All it was going to do is open a portal home"

"Okay… that still doesn't explain why you sabotaged it"

"I have red in my ledger that I'd like to wipe out" Natashy said "But I can't. No matter what I do, I can't erase nor can I make up for what I've done. Wherever I go, my reputation precedes me. Whenever I go, the ghosts of my past follow me. I couldn't escape… until now"

"Until you got here?" Discord asked, already figuring out where Natashy was getting at

"Here, everyone greets me with smiles and ask me to babysit their kids. Back home" Natashy looks away disgusted "Back home is nothing but war, death, and lies. Day after day. As if making more horrors would compensate the horrors I already committed"

"The others want to go back. I don't" Natashy continues "Here I have a new identity, free from the burdens of the past, a fresh beginning. Here I have a new life. Here I can have peace. I'm not willing to relinquish that"

"Well, that's very interesting, Ms. Romanoff" Discord yawned "I still don't know why you're here telling me this"

"I'm here because I want to make a deal" Natashy said

"And what would that deal be?" Discord smirked and raised an eyebrow

"You allow me to live here, in peace, without disturbing my new life with your chaos" Natashy said "If you agree to that, I'll help you"

"Help me? Help me doing what?"

"Being your eyes and ears among them" Natashy answers "Listening to their plans, warning you about them, and then, foiling them. Undermining all their attempts and assuring your victory"

Discord laughs "That's your deal? Why would I agree with that? You said yourself you don't have a chance to defeat me. Why would I need your help?"

"We can't defeat you. But Twilight can" Natashy said "If Banner rebuilds his machine and makes it work, your reign of chaos will be over. I can prevent that from happening"

"Still, I wouldn't need your help" Discord pointed out "I can spy on them and sabotage their machines all by myself"

"But is that what you want to do? Keep an eye on them constantly?" Natashy asks "Wouldn't you rather spend your time, I don't know, turning castles into pancakes? With me on your side, you can spread all the chaos you want without ever having to worry about them. I'll tell you everything. And let's stop kidding ourselves. You're Discord. Having someone stirring up things from the inside is something that obviously appeals to you"

"You know what else appeals to me? Feelings of betrayal" Discord said "So, what's stopping me from telling them that you betrayed them by proposing your deal?"

"What would you gain with that?" Natashy rebutted without missing a beat "Stark and Banner don't trust me. Stark more so. Telling them of my betrayal wouldn't make him feel betrayed. It would only make him even more full of himself with a 'told ya' attitude. They'll just kick me off the group and you would lose your eyes and ears among them. Also, they would deduce the machine blowing up was my fault, they would rebuilt it, and, well, you know the rest"

"I gotta admit, Ms. Romanoff, I'm impressed" Discord said "You have been here less than half a day and already decided to turn on them…"

"Wouldn't be the first time I changed sides" Natashy replied "My loyalty is very flexible"

"Even then, betraying your friends like that" Discord smiled "A little cold, huh?"

"They're not my friends" Natashy states matter-of-factly "Stark is a conceited imbecile that deserves whatever misfortune befalls him. Banner is a rabid animal that needs to be put down. And Thor and his people are the reason we're all in this mess to begin with. I don't like any of them and could care less about what happens to them"

"Uh-huh" Discord says with a playful smile "And what about the other one? The speeches guy?"

"I… respect Captain Rogers" Natashy admitted "But he's a relic from the past. The world has no use for him anymore and, honestly, I don't think Rogers has anything to come back to as well"

"And what about Twilight and her friends?" Discord smiled "It doesn't bother you that you'll be dooming them to be trapped forever in your world? A world that you just said was filled with war, death, and lies?

"Once again: Not my friends. Don't care about them"

Discord stares at Natashy's eyes, trying to see if she's bluffing, but all he sees is unfeeling coldness.

"You're serious…" Discord said "You're aware that if I agree with this deal, and you get your 'new life', you'd still be Fluttershy, right? That's what everypony will believe you to be and who you'll have to pretend to be for the rest of your life"

"I've been Natalia Romanova, Natalia Shostakova, Natalie Rushman, Nancy Rushman, Yelena Belova, Nadine Roman, Laura Matthers, among many, many others" Natashy replied "My entire life, all my 'lives', have been nothing but lies. I think I can handle it"

"You know something, Ms. Romanoff? I like you" Discord grinned

"Do we have a deal?" Natashy asked

"Oh, yes, we have a deal!" Discord shook her hoof, laughing "So return to your fellow ponies, my little spy. Impress me"

Natashy smiled, nodded, and turned around

"тупица"

"What was that?" Discord asks

"I said you won't be disappointed" Natashy said, smirking as she trotted away

---

AUTHOR'S NOTES (3 of 3):

The "Love Triangles Suck" song's melody was partially based on "Part Of Your World" from Disney's The Little Mermaid.

Subconsciously based.

Like, seriously, I haven't watched The Little Mermaid in, like, forever! The only song I remembered was "Under The Sea". So, one day I woke up humming what would become the "Love Triangles Suck" song that y'all read in this chapter. I've spent weeks writing this song (which is responsible for the delay in this chapter which caused me to break the promise I made in the previous chapter. Mental Note: Never make promises again), humming a melody that, as far as I knew, I had just made up.

So, as fate would have it, just a few days ago, I decided to buy The Little Mermaid Soundtrack and listened to it.

When the chorus of "Part Of Your World" came up, I was like: 'Wait a fucking minute... WHAT THE FUCK?!'

This made me paranoid. I'm starting to wonder how many of my 'original' ideas aren't ripped off from something I saw/listened to as a child and somehow forgot about it.

I should note, though, that only the chorus is influenced by "Part Of Your World". The rest of the song follows a different melody that (I hope) is not a rip off of anything else.