For the record, this is going to be the turning point for Have Courage, Elsa. The angle of this story will only change a little, but it is enough to be rather noticeable. Hopefully, the shift won't be anything too drastic, because I like writing the way I've been doing lately. This work is like an antidepressant to me, and hopefully to you readers as well.
Oh, and to that anonymous person who sent me a review with a Bible quote attached to it, I would like to say that I'm not a spiritual or religious person, but I found it very inspiring. Thank you.
All rights go to the guys at Disney Animated Canon for making Frozen such an incredible and touching film, and credit goes to FrozenRose1 for being my beta-reader. I didn't know what I was missing until you first offered to help me.
Oh, and the song below is set to the tune of Voltaire's Stuck With You. It's... not exactly family-friendly, but only because it jacks black comedy up to eleven.
Chapter 14
As Long As We're Together
Helge's Journal Observations, Passage No. 3:
"It is typical of human nature to fear and loathe what they do not see or understand."
This fact has been repeatedly demonstrated in history records and accounts, through wars conducted on the simplest of misunderstandings, hatred between unfamiliar cultures, deportation, slavery, persecution, alienation, and countless other examples that can and will fill this entire book.
Having mentioned this, keep in mind that this is only relating to the fear humans have for each other: To be someone thrust into the world of Humans, or conversely a human thrust into the world of the supernatural, is a terrifying fate for either parties.
Interestingly, while some cultures may start entire purges (ex. a country-wide witch hunt) upon evidence of abnormality, others are far more tolerant of magic and the fauna associated. Frequently, such societies have had greater exposure and/or involvement in the supernatural, further confirming the statement mentioned above.
Elsa and I should probably be glad Arendelle had always seemed to be the latter.
"Really? Yesterday was the first day you've been inside the Royal Stables for years?"
"Well, I was never one for horseback riding like Anna was." Elsa explained to her friend. "Even as a young child, I found myself intimidated by the horses' height and bulk. The first time I tried lift my leg over one to seat myself, my foot slipped, and I fell to the ground in a mess. I felt so ashamed for ruining the little blue dress Mother gave to me, I never stepped back outdoors for a couple of days!"
Kristoff snorted in amusement. "You could only hope that it was only mud that got onto your clothes, eh?"
Elsa shot a level stare at the mountain man, and continued as if he had never mentioned anything at all. "I only lost practice as the years went by, since because of... well, you know." She raised a hand for the ice harvester to see, rubbing her fingers together to sprinkle silver flecks that glittered as they fell.
The two friends exited out of the Palace doors and into the courtyard, which was bathed in the moonlight in ways that could almost be surreal; the white glow bounced off the castle's frosted rooftops and tree-like outcroppings of ice, creating twinkling stars that dotted the landscape magnificently, all thanks to the Snow Queen's brand of sorcery. The sight was incredible, like walking right into a true winter wonderland, a cerulean fairy tale setting found in dreams...
...Well, Kristoff's dreams, in particular. The poor guy had always been a fan of the Queen's craftsmanship, and Arendelle's night sky only threw one of her displays into sharper relief. Nearly overwhelmed by the sheer majesty of the view, he dropped the large sack he had grabbed earlier from the Royal Kitchen with a thud, his mouth hanging loose and dumbstruck.
Elsa just stood by the side, waiting for the young man to finally piece his reality back together. Given that this was one of the first times they've genuinely communicated to each, the Queen had been taking the opportunity to properly evaluate Kristoff, learning more about her sister's consort with every passing minute: Outwardly, he was rather gruff and serious, sometimes uncouth, always keeping a level head in the face of Anna's inherent kookiness. Size-wise, Kristoff was a giant, a far cry from the waifish, freckled and petite Princess hopping nearby. Besides that, he was the one who would try shooting down some of the redhead's more ludicrous ideas, such as her suggestion four days ago to hold a bike race down the stairways. Anna would often pout at him during those times as a result, before running off to try her hand anyway.
In truth, Elsa had feared Anna and Kristoff would eventually fall out of each other's favor within a week, given that their personalities seemed to contrast so strongly from each other. She'd always think to herself: "What sort of common ground were the two able to hold between each other? What do they see in each other? Could this end badly like Anna's... last romance?"
But, now that she has had a proper talk with the man, Elsa found herself pleasantly surprised: Despite, or perhaps because of, his upbringing, he was incredibly intelligent and insightful, quick at comprehending unusual or troublesome circumstances without much trouble. He was loyal and trustworthy, a person you can depend on to help when you were at the end of your rope. Even as he grumbled and complained with sour comments, behind his hardened mask was a rather quirky man with a chronic desire to help others.
In other words, Elsa could finally identify why her baby sister would fall for a man.
"Were animals afraid of your powers?"
The question smashed headlong into Elsa's musing, causing her to shake her platinum-blonde head in disorientation. The mountain man stood in front of her, the sack slung over his shoulder once more.
Elsa wrinkled her nose in concentration. "I've never really thought about it, but I don't think creatures would normally hold anything against me. It wasn't like I scared any away just by being within eyesight. I even remembered riding on the back of a horse without spooking it long ago, while holding onto... to..."
Papa.
Elsa remembered the moment. She remembered hearing the storming of multiple hooves as they pounded against the ground, the wind tearing through her hair plait and threatening to rip her right out of her seat. She remembered looking back in fear as the scenery flashed past her with blinding speed, with a trail of frost and upturned dirt following her wake. She remembered the beast she sat on rocking back and forth, causing her to bounce uncontrollably, its heaving breaths and snorts forming an entirely different monster. She also remembered holding tightly onto her father's warm waist, terrified and confused on where they were heading, what they were going to do.
But, most of all, she remembered the little girl speeding alongside with her, cradled in the arms of her mother as they rode on horseback next to them. The little streak of silver in the girl's red hair shone brightly in the darkness, a brand representing Elsa's guilt. She had hurt the little girl, causing her parents this much fear and concern. It was all because of her ice; why couldn't she control it anymore, it just keeps on forming behind her and-
"Elsa."
Even with the air screaming into her ears, Elsa found herself slowly tuning the noise out, focusing onto this strangely familiar, crystal clear voice.
"Elsa, Y'alright?"
Just like that, everything snapped into place; Elsa was back to being a fully grown woman standing outside of the Royal Palace, facing the front of the stables for the second time in a long while. Next to one of its entrances, Kristoff rested his hand on a door handle, glancing at the platinum blonde with concern.
"I'm sorry Kristoff, i-it gets a little difficult to control my mind sometimes..." Elsa pointed to herself to make winding, cuckoo motions with her finger. "It likes to take me out on a wild ride once in a while!" she feebly joked.
Kristoff's brown eyes softened with sympathy. "It's alright." he assured. "You've been through a lot, and seen a lot, all those kinds of things. It doesn't make you any less the woman for it, you know."
"Thank you, but I... I feel so ashamed of myself. Anna certainly never had these troublesome flashbacks, or at least she was strong enough not to show them." Elsa said glumly, tucking her chin in as her face twisted in humiliation. "I can hardly imagine what would happen once we finally have to confront that Spøkelse..."
Kristoff's mouth puckered upon mention of that last word. "You shouldn't be so harsh with yourself." he stated firmly. "True, Anna has dealt with her fair share of rough days, but that does not discredit or overshadow what you have been working towards to."
Elsa smiled wryly in response. "You give advice as if you had experience in consoling people, Kristoff."
"Well... I was raised for years by these crusty, old, self-proclaimed 'love experts.'" Kristoff explained, forming air-quotes with his fingers as he spoke. "Big fans of humans and their psyche, after all. They get so loud at times, it's tough not to eventually pick up a few lessons from them." With a pull, Kristoff swung the wooden doors open, flushing the outside of the stables with the warm orange glow of the lanterns installed within. The distinct scent of hay floated its way outside, finally free from the confines of its enclosed space.
Elsa recoiled slightly, wrinkling her nose at the musty smell, but cheered upon seeing a large, brown, fuzzy lump of a creature lying on top of straw bed, tapping the walls repeatedly with its enormous antlers. "Good evening, Sven."
The reindeer lifted his head up in alarm, his ears perked and swiveling in place to locate the source of the voice. Soon enough, Sven's searching brown eyes fell upon the beautiful, pale-blue figure standing outside of his chambers, and he leapt out of his slump in joy, scattering pieces of hay everywhere. Almost prancing in glee, he bolted out of the doors, knocking aside the stunned ice harvester with abandon in the process, before skidding loudly to a stop before the Snow Queen.
Not even bothering to introduce himself, the reindeer cheerfully licked Elsa's face all over, eliciting gasps and giggles from the lady. "Sven! Stop, th-that tickles!" she laughed.
"Sven, what are you doing over there, leaving me hanging?" Kristoff exclaimed, spreading his arms outwards in a welcoming gesture. "C'mere boy!"
The reindeer paused in his kisses, and glanced towards the mountain man standing all by his lonesome. Sven stared blankly at Kristoff with his brown eyes for a couple of seconds, and then pointed his muzzle upwards in a huff.
"What? Are you seriously going to play the angry game with me, Sven?"
The reindeer retorted with a harsh snort, and trotted around Elsa so he had her to separate the distance between him and his owner, nuzzling the Queen as he did so. Even as the woman smiled because of Sven's tickling nose, she could only shrug helplessly at the gawking ice harvester.
"Aw come on, Sven!" Kristoff whined, a mere step away from groveling to his knees. "Look, I'm sorry I wasn't able to hang out with you yesterday! It's just that I wasn't expecting Helge to take so long with his exposition!"
For an instant, Sven's glare seemed to soften upon hearing Kristoff's explanation. However, he quickly mended that moment of weakness by positioning his entire body behind Elsa, thinking that her lithe figure could obscure his bulk from the mountain man's view.
Kristoff stared at the two in horror, his face comically shifted into an expression of betrayal. He sighed, knowing that he had no choice but to resort to the foolproof tactic; pulling the large sack from behind him, the ice harvester lifted it up high before fishing out a single, plump carrot. The vegetable shone vividly in Kristoff's hand, contrasting the bluish and violet hues of Arendelle's outdoors.
Elsa felt something soft and warm push itself out from beneath her arms, making snuffling sounds as it twitched excitedly. Immediately guessing that Kristoff was baiting Sven into approaching him, the lady moved aside to see the reindeer allowing his tongue to loll loosely to the side, while his jaw dropped into a goofy, open-mouthed grin. He crawled forward slowly and hesitantly, digging his hooves into the ground as if Sven was struggling to resist the gravitational pull of the orange carrot.
"That's right, you come crawling back..." Kristoff muttered, waving the treat slowly in front of the tortured animal.
Finally giving in to the temptation, the reindeer rushed forward to snatch the carrot straight from the ice harvester's hand. The treat crunched noisily within Sven's cheeks as he nudged Kristoff with the side of his head affectionately, finally forgiving the mountain man for his delay.
Elsa tittered in amusement, entertained by the little comedic duo behavior Sven and Kristoff had engaged themselves in. She had just found another reason why Anna would hang around those two. "It's lovely to see that you two have finally reconciled." she remarked, laughter still etched upon her face.
Kristoff grinned back at Elsa, the corners of his mouth stretched from ear to ear. "Heh, you make that sound as if it doesn't happen between us often."
"That doesn't make it any less special of a moment."
The ice harvester pondered her words briefly. "Yeah... I guess it's not wrong to consider it true, isn't it? Hey, come inside, there's a seat waiting for you."
Complying with Kristoff's offer, Elsa poked her pale head inside the stables to search for the particular chair that he was referring to.
Much to her confusion, there was only the hard wooden and planked floor, lanterns, the snorts of neighboring horses, and the enormous bed of hay furnishing Sven's quarters.
Well, what exactly did you expect, Elsa? Of course Kristoff would see this mound of dry grass as a perfectly nice bed, given his background.
Hush, you. With a bit of luck, she found a spot on the pile of hay that looked both relatively pristine, and gingerly sat herself down. Much to her surprise, the makeshift seat felt very comfortable against her backside, and she found herself relaxing as the haystack sagged underneath her weight.
"Say, Elsa... "Kristoff asked, cocking his head left and right in search of his lute. "Didn't Anna say that you are handy with an instrument yourself? A... piano, if I remember correctly?"
Elsa straightened her back primly on the haystack, raising her chin upwards in pride. "I believe you are familiar with the sonatas that would play for hours on the weekends?"
Kristoff widened his eyes in amazement. "That was you? Heh, three weeks of living here, and I had always assumed it was one of your professional musicians instead. Not bad, not bad at all... Now, where did I put that thing?"
He tossed aside clumps of hay in all directions, making quite the mess on the floor, before he suddenly hit himself with the heel of his hand. He rushed out of the stable doors, his heavy feet scuffling against the ground, and returned shortly with something quite impressive; cradled in his arms was a lute that reflected the lantern lights with its finish, throwing into relief several colorful bands and patterns etched into its wood. The object was nothing short of fine quality, and Elsa could not help but admire its design and artwork.
"That's a very beautiful instrument you have there." she complimented. "Tell me, was it the one Anna had brought for you in exchange for your guidance up the North Mountain?"
"Technically, she brought the lute for me in exchange for recklessly destroying my old sled, and for using my previous version as a hands-on wolf-repellent. It's the very same, though; I merely carved a little bit of my personal aesthetics into it."
"Well, I think what you have done to it is very lovely." Elsa praised.
"Anna certainly thought so." With his thick but deft fingers, the ice harvester plucked a few strings that vibrated in place, resonating with a lovely and cheery tone that combined to make a pleasantly-sounding phrase. "She even asked me to do a little work on some of her personal stuff, although I had to remind her over and over again that dyeing her clothes are out of the question."
"I see..." Elsa noted; she entered a short-lived but wild speculation on how Anna and herself would look dressed in traditional Sami garb. Maybe even Olaf could get in on the fun. After all, the Royal Family might look rather fetching in fur coats and vibrant patterns-
Nevermind. "Kristoff, I think Sven is waiting for you."
Indeed, the reindeer had returned to his hay bed and tucked himself in snugly, currently giving the other two some very irate glares. He groaned deeply and laid his head on the floor out of boredom, all but screaming with his eyes, Will you get started already, Kristoff?
Kristoff, having lived with this animal companion for the larger part of his life, understood Sven's irritation before Elsa had pointed it out. "Alright, alright! Sorry about keeping you waiting here, buddy, just give me a bit to warm up."
The mountain man continued to strum some notes on the lute, repeating the same phrase once... twice... multiple times over and over, well after it has devolved into redundancy. Both Elsa and Sven each raised a dark eyebrow, patiently waiting for Kristoff to finally get a move on.
"Kristoff?" Elsa asked. "Is something the matter?"
The ice harvester his lips pursed back in hesitation. "Um... do you mind if you, like, turn your back around for a bit? I've..." the mountain man's face reddened, "I've never really sang around anyone besides Anna."
Elsa came dangerously close to following Kristoff's request, empathizing deeply with his uncertainty around these types of situations, but she forced herself to stay put. Even if he did ask for it, no one should have an audience with its back turned.
"Well, you were one who invited me in the first place." Elsa replied sweetly, completely aware she was picking on the poor man with her words.
Kristoff's shoulders slumped in dour disappointment, and he brushed aside a droplet of sweat coming down his forehead. "Me and my fat mouth..." he groaned. But, the ice harvester sucked in a breath, and puffed his chest to fire himself up. "Okay... okay! I have a person who is not Anna here, and that... is totally fine with me. Someone who is not Anna... good."
He propped the lute against himself and tapped a few beats with his shoe, knocking a regular tempo on the wood. Sven followed along, swinging his head left and right to the rhythm. "Ready Sven?" Kristoff asked to his friend.
Both the reindeer and the ice harvester leaned their heads together so they ware almost cheek-to-cheek. Naturally, Sven had no capabilities whatsoever of human speech, so Kristoff was the one who had to fix that handicap; the young man dropped his jaw, and spoke in a voice distorted to a comical level. "Ready when you are!" the mountain man cried in that exaggerated voice, answering his own question for the mute reindeer.
After about eight knocks, Kristoff began to pluck away at the lute, humming a tune that sounded quite lovely to the Queen's ears. The ice harvester repeated this melody twice, before finally opening his mouth to belt out a song:
"People are slobs, and such a bore,
They leave their garbage lying on the floor."
"And they all love it, when they cheat,
Yes each and everyone you meet!"
"They don't care, not a single toss,
They'll steal without asking for the costs."
"And if you're short on cash, well tough luck,
they kick you out cause you're short one buck!"
"Oh, but at least I have you,
A best friend always standing near!
You never cheat, or lie, or hurt,
It's clear you can only trust a reindeer!"
"da-da-da"
"dabba dabba dabba da"
"dun-dun da-dun"
"ba-ba badum, da"
"Kids laugh at you all day,
When you simply wanted to play."
"If you're shivering, to your bones,
Adults glare at you and lock up all their homes!"
"Girls stare and shriek, with every hour,
'Cause you can't afford a single shower!"
"And if you give, a funny look,
Men'll beat you up cause they're all crooks!"
"Oh, but at least I have you,
A best friend always standing near!
You never cheat, or lie, or hurt,
It's clear you can only trust a reindeer!
"Oh, but at least I have you,
A best friend that always standing near!
You never cheat, or lie, or hurt,
"Forget those people,"
"and their sneers,"
"It's clear you can only trust a reindeer!"
"dun-dun-dun-dun"
"Now I lay here, in chilly night,
But next to you, I feel so bright,
You keep me warm, you make me smile,
Together, we make it all worth the while!"
"Those are kind words, coming from you,
It's my turn to say something too,
Yes it's cold, and I'm weary,
but at least you are besides me!"
"Oh, but at least I have you,
A best friend always standing near!
You never cheat, or lie, or hurt,
It's clear you can only trust a reindeer!
Oh, but at least I have you,
A best friend always standing near!
You never cheat, or lie, or hurt,
"Forget those people,"
"And their sneers,"
"I'm glad I can at least trust a reindeer!"
...
Drawing out the very last note of the song with mellow relish, Kristoff propped the lute to his side to give a congratulatory pat to his reindeer resting besides him, earning a friendly bump to the shoulder in return. The two finished their duet together with a cut-off, earning a short round of applause from the Queen. Sven graciously received the ovation, dipping his head to her in an obvious imitation of a performer's bow, while Kristoff just grinned bashfully, despite being the one who did most of the work.
"That was... quite an interesting choice of words you've chosen, Kristoff," Elsa observed brightly, "especially the one about the showers."
The blond man's face flushed a light shade of pink, and he scratched the back of his neck. "Well, that's partially my fault. I know it's not something Royal people are normally used to listening to... or for people in general, actually." he added. "Seriously, three weeks is not nearly enough for me to change my old habits and direction; I literally have dozens of lyrics dedicated to... uh, 'reindeer superiority', and almost nothing relating to more normal topics."
"I don't suppose Anna minds?" Elsa mentioned, playfully elbowing the ice harvester.
"A-actually, your sister thought they were very entertaining." Kristoff countered defensively, pulling another carrot out for Sven to munch on. "And, as a matter of fact, Sven and I do have something special planned for Anna. It's just that... well, it's for her ears only." The young man turned his head away from Elsa in a fit of reservation. "...Can't really have you hear it and all."
The Queen raised her pale hands from her lap and showed her palms, forming a lighthearted gesture of surrender. "No worries, Kristoff, I don't want to overstep any boundaries you may prefer to uphold regarding my sister. Besides, I still found your music rather entertaining!"
The ice harvester visibly relaxed upon hearing her assurance, and he smiled in relief. "Whew... thank you so much, Elsa. I was getting kind of nervous back there!"
Elsa's blue eyes crinkled, the ends of her lips forming a wide grin. "You don't have anything to be so worried about, Kristoff... although, considering Sven's attitude with you after we were sidetracked by Helge and the historical accounts, I'm surprised your best friend is not jealous whenever Anna is around!" she laughed.
The only sound that answered back was the quiet snores of the neighboring horses.
Elsa had expected Kristoff to play along with her remark, snarking back with a quip such as: "Right, Sven gets so envious of Anna that there were times when he abducts me, forcing her to rescue my sorry butt," or "Yep, this reindeer actually has a dartboard with Anna's portrait tacked on." Something parallel to those lines.
So, it was to the young woman's great puzzlement when no one in the stable room spoke a word, or moved from their spots for that matter. "Kristoff?" she asked tentatively. "Sven?"
Both the mountain man and the reindeer looked at her upon hearing their names, but said nothing. Kristoff's expression in particular was woeful; it was almost severely grave, a complete turn-around that killed the cheerful and amicable atmosphere he himself had raised just seconds earlier.
How could such a man like Kristoff react this poorly to a simple joke? Elsa wondered to herself. Unless...
An ugly implication struck Elsa with a jolt, and she slapped her hands to her mouth in horror. "I-I'm sorry Kristoff..." she stumbled, "I didn't know that I've just offended-"
"-Please Elsa, it's perfectly alright. There's nothing that you need to get yourself worked up all over!" Kristoff quickly asserted.
"But, I'd feel terrible if you and Sven couldn't enjoy each other's company just because you are in a relationship with my sister..."
Kristoff held his hands outwards to cease the Queen from continuing, and said, "Elsa, please let me finish: Look, it's true that I cannot have nearly as much fun hanging out with Sven nowadays like we used to, ever since Anna bumbled her way into us three weeks ago. To be frank, there are moments when I find myself at a loss for whether I should pick over my best pal, or my girlfriend. Afterwards, I just feel so awful and guilty..."
Something about those words that unnerved Elsa, yanking on her heartstrings with twinges of empathy; she knew exactly what Kristoff was talking about, having sensed the same thoughts for Anna. That was because, now that her little sister had companions like Kristoff, the Queen wasn't certain of her own place in the Princess' life, even if they could finally treat each other like actual sisters again.
Still, Elsa continued to listen to the ice harvester, who was now slinging a strong arm around the reindeer's neck, pulling Sven closer to him in a single-handed hug.
"This guy gets it though." Kristoff noted, jabbing a finger at the animal licking his hand with vigorous interest. "Whenever I feel I've done something wrong for spending time with Anna, Sven is always there to tell me that it's perfectly fine, that he is happy for the both of us as long as we continue to make each other smile."
The mountain man flashed Sven an appreciative grin before continuing, "Always the one to look out for me, he's made his own sacrifices so I can free myself up for special moments with Anna.
"Besides, it's not like he's completely alone either these days; your sister comes by to see him often, I still make time for friend activities, and I've seen Sven hanging around with Olaf for the past couple of weeks. Everyone was happy with the outcome overall, which at least meant not all was lost."
Ignoring the pressing question of how the reindeer was able to communicate such feelings to his owner without an ability to speak, Elsa found herself gaining a newfound respect for this compassionate animal.
Sven, seemingly comprehending what was running through her head, merely flashed a lazy smirk through his closed eyelids.
This little foray into Kristoff and Sven's relationship was increasingly profound with every passing minute; Elsa herself had always felt conflicted with Anna's newly discovered friends and lifestyle. Contrary to what most people may suspect, this turmoil wasn't out of jealousy: Rather, Elsa wished for her younger sister to experience as much joy as possible to make up for thirteen years of isolation and pain, and felt that she was only a shackle subduing Anna from achieving that desire.
So... you're just the ball and chain attached to Anna's ankles, always keeping her malnourished in sleep and affection with your own troubles, is that right?
What might you do?
An idea was beginning to crystallize in Elsa's mind, taking root in her brain and heart with speed and conviction. She might hurt herself while carrying it out, but the Queen was no stranger to pain; she may just finally find peace within herself in the long run.
At least, he should at least let her cherished sister's boyfriend know.
"You know, Kristoff..." Elsa commenced.
"Hm?"
"Now that you mention it, I like to think the same words should apply to me as well for being your friend."
Kristoff blinked dumbly at her. "Say what?"
"Ever since I went into isolation, Anna spent her years just wishing for her best friend to come back, to enjoy each other's company as sisters again. Three weeks ago, her wish has finally come true... but I'm certain she never expected a man such as you to come along as well."
"...Elsa," Kristoff said warily, "you're making me feel uncomfortable..."
"Shush. This is payback for making me talk my heart out to you early." Elsa reprimanded pleasantly. In all honesty, she was probably enjoying herself too much at the moment. "Without a doubt, she now has to balance her time repairing the bonds of her family... and her romantic love life with you."
To Elsa's great amusement, Kristoff began to visibly sweat and redden, tugging the collar of his summer clothes nervously while Sven smugly watched outside the line of fire. "I-I... I don't r-really know what to sa-... say." he floundered.
Kristoff had been nothing but understanding to me, sacrificing both his time and well-being to make sure I was happy. Elsa reflected to herself. He only needed to be asked by my baby sister, and then decided to go above and beyond the call to keep everyone safe.
I think it's about time that I come clean with him.
"Kristoff..."
"Y-yes?"
"Earlier, you have confessed to me your envy for my winter magic and the loyalty of Arendelle, my sister Anna included. However, you must understand that, in all actuality, I should be the jealous one between the two of us."
Both, Kristoff and Sven whipped their heads to face Elsa at breakneck speeds, both sets of brown eyes open wide with shock. "Th-the Queen of Arendelle... jealous of me?" the mountain man sputtered, pointing to himself. "But wait, why?"
Elsa nodded, her blue eyes coming dangerously close to pleading with the ice harvester. "Listen to me Kristoff: I am Anna's sister, but that is all I could even become. You've heard what happened between Trigve and Adam."
Her smile grew more chipped and wooden, tiring her face with every passing second. Slowly, her expression faltered bit by bit, until there was barely a hint of hopeful positivity left on her face, the rest rendered level with simple acceptance. "The time for me to care for Anna and go on adventures with her as a big sister has already passed; we are no longer children. Should we prevail in our encounter with the Spøkelse of Ravendall, I would still have to work hard to become a good Queen for my people, someone they can look up to for guidance.
"Because the Princess does not share the same burdens, she and I will surely follow separate lives, splitting further and further apart with every passing year. The two Royal brothers from Ravendall understood this first-handedly, and it's about time that I should too."
Kristoff drew in a long breath through his nose. He listened to Elsa's reasoning, the corners of his mouth and brows pulled downwards into a scowl, briefly intimidating the Queen with his quiet intensity. As she continued to explain her case though, his expression leveled out into neutrality, not exactly happy with what he was hearing, but at least not to the point of anger. He just sat there. Silent. Listening.
Judging.
Elsa leaned harder against the haystack and swallowed; her heart was terribly heavy now, cumbersome enough to make an act as simple as talking a difficulty. "Kristoff, I think... I think it goes without saying that Anna loves you just as much as she cares for me, if not more. W-who knows?" she laughed feebly. "With enough time, you might even get to share your life with her, capable of granting her the love she craves for the rest of her days."
Elsa sighed. "You and Anna have done so much for me, and that is why I must return the favor; from now on, I pledge to train myself into becoming more self-reliant, more resistant to moments of weakness. I'll work harder to make up for what royal duties Anna may possess, so she can be freed from her shackles and enjoy the people who deserve her. ...If I can become less of a bother for everyone, then it's a sacrifice I'm willing to take."
The ice harvester stared at the Queen, uttering not a single word. Elsa's mouth felt incredibly dry under his gaze, and her mind began to wander; idly, she noticed Sven was staring at her with the same facial expression as his owner. Birds of a feather.
The hay beneath Kristoff rustled, and Elsa watched as the mountain man and the reindeer glanced at each other, seemingly communicating with only their eyes. They both nodded curtly, and returned their focus to the Queen.
Elsa was hardly prepared to expect Sven to be the one to rise from his position, grunting softly as he stepped forward and made his way closer to the Queen.
She was even less ready when the reindeer shot her a completely deadpan look straight in the eye, and swung the blunt end of his antlers with a twist of a neck, whacking Elsa hard on the cranium.
"Ouch!" the Queen cried. "Owowow..."
"Sven!" Kristoff reprimanded frantically, his voice pitched higher than normal as he jumped from his seat. "I only needed you to nudge her a little roughly or something, not to give her a concussion! Oh, I'm going to be so dead for assaulting the Queen!" The young man continued to jabber away, panicking to no end as Elsa continued to nurse her injury. "So-Sorry about that, Your Majesty, I really shouldn't have done that! Don't freeze Sven... he really didn't mean it on purpose! It's my entire fault that he decided to act this way!-"
In the middle of his flood of apologies, the blond ice harvester froze in place, pausing to suck a sharp breath. He exhaled slowly, allowing himself to regain his composure. "Elsa..." he began, clearing his throat. "I think what you're planning is very respectable... except that you're carrying out all of the wrong reasons for doing so."
It was Elsa's turn to blink absentmindedly at her friends; Sven and Kristoff's out-of-the-blue reaction to her statement was surprising enough to suppress the dull throbbing of her head.
"Have you completely forgotten that one of the people Anna deserves in her life includes her long-estranged older sister?" Kristoff asked. "The way you were putting your point across, I'd have believed you were ready to lock yourself away and abandon her again! Come on Elsa, that wouldn't be like you at all!"
Kristoff's voice softened to a gentler tone, as the man leaned over and rested a warm hand over Elsa's. "You are neither Adam nor Trigve, and we are in a time where it's best to stick together, considering the arrival of the Spøkelse. You no longer have a reason to keep your family splintered, and everyone had fought too hard for thirteen years just to have you open up to the world again." He squeezed Elsa's hands tightly, sending tingles of warmth up her arms.
"You're supposed to be an all-powerful Queen, Elsa. The kind of person who can get anything she wants with a snap of her fingers. If you truly want to improve yourself, do it because it will make everyone happier, including you." The man finally brought himself to smile kindly at the Snow Queen. "I personally don't have a clue on how, but any kind of 'sacrifice' carried out for that reason is a pledge I can get behind."
Just like that, Kristoff's monologue was like the light of a new dawn, brushing aside Elsa's pain with the sheer hope they were infused with. The ice harvester was completely right, of course; if the Queen forced her newfound family to leave her in misery, no matter what good intentions she may have for doing so, the act would have completely invalidated the efforts they made to end her thirteen years of isolation.
Queen Elsa wasn't the kind of person to be that incredibly selfish, certainly not something worth calling Anna's elder sister.
Elsa's lips began to quiver and wobble, the muscles in her cheeks straining to pull downwards. She could feel something blocking the inside of her sinuses, coming dangerously close to spilling out and downwards. Quickly, the lady sniffled to suck the mucus back in, before wiping her nose dry with the back of her hand to make sure. Elsa didn't even bother feeling for any tears: Her blurring vision and stinging eyes were evidence enough.
Kristoff, understandably distressed by this sudden turn of events, broke out into a sweat, and darted his brown eyes back and forth as if debating the best route to escaping with his body as intact and unfrozen as possible. His view fell upon Sven, who just raised an eyebrow at him in reproach. Kristoff silently waved his arms in protest, but quickly lost his will to run underneath the reindeer's gaze.
Puffing out an exasperated breath, the ice harvester remained where he sat, fidgeting slightly as the stable room was now filled with Elsa's hiccups. "Um... Elsa?" he asked nervously. "I'm... I-I'm sorry I made you cry..." He gave the stable ceiling a long-suffering look, and spread his arms out awkwardly to his friend. "Do you... do you need a hug, or something- ah."
Before Kristoff could finish his sentence, Elsa had already wrapped her arms around the ice harvester, squeezing his body tightly in a platonic embrace.
"Cold, cold, cold..."
Elsa sniffled. "You smell, Kristoff."
"I get that a lot from Anna enough times already." The mountain man retorted dryly.
"You're also very warm..."
Kristoff blinked. "Aw... I get that a lot from Anna, too."
Elsa's eyes crinkled at the edges. "You know, Anna and I should be truly lucky to meet a man such as you..."
Kristoff blinked rapidly down at the woman in his embrace. "Eh? What's with this sudden tangent?"
"Please, just let me finish..." Elsa mumbled abruptly. "I'll be referring back a few years, long before we've met you, Kristoff.
"When we were still kids, and as Anna grew older, inevitably developing an interest in the world outside of our Palace, she dreamed about one day meeting her knight in shining armor, riding on his noble steed in the beautiful daylight. When she wasn't fooling around or asking for me to be her friend again, she wouldn't ever stop talking about this dream person to everyone, not even to me from behind my bedroom door.
"The details about this man changed randomly with every telling: Sometimes he was a tall and fair prince, other times he was a regal naval officer, he was even a pirate for a few rare instances. She had probably imagined over a thousand versions of this person, but the main reason was always the same; so she could finally find some who could appreciate her for who she was, like the family who should have been doing the best job of all.
"And yet, never would I have expected Anna's knight to be a simple ice harvester riding on the back of a reindeer." Elsa released herself from him, brushing her face dry with the sweep of her thumb. " Kristoff, Sven, I think this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship. You've done so much, putting some sense back into my head like that, and I'm truly thankful that Anna saw fit to have you two help me out."
The reindeer closed his eyes and rested his large head on the floor contently upon hearing those words, while the ice harvester beamed at her, bending down to reach for the sack of carrots lying on the floor. "Gee, thanks. Apparently, it's just what I've been doing for the past three weeks now."
Pulling a brightly orange carrot from the bag, Kristoff offered the vegetable to the reindeer sitting contently besides him. Sven gleefully craned his neck and crunched up his share of the treat, leaving the rest for his owner to finish.
But, just as Kristoff raised the vegetable to his mouth, he realized Elsa's blue eyes observing him. Pausing for a few seconds, he smirked, and pointed the half-eaten carrot towards her, the reindeer saliva still glistening in the lantern lights. "Want 'un?" he casually asked.
Elsa's dark eyebrows shot upwards, and she gulped in a fit of nerves; the woman wasn't sure if this is the kind of acts friends tend to get involved in often, give that she... well, never really had actual friends for years until somewhat recently. In fact, her own list of companions so far only included Anna, Kristoff, Sven, Olaf, maybe a few of her trusted servants... and possibly that drifter from yesterday, Frode.
Still, would they have done the same thing?
This just has to be a rite of passage, I know it! But... is it worth the embarrassment? She thought furiously to herself. Is it worth sealing her trust with her baby sister's boyfriend with the final nail?
I've never even ate a carrot raw before...
Elsa's fingers twitched unconsciously, but eventually forced themselves to snatch the root right out of the ice harvester's hand. Her resolve was already wearing down rapidly, so the Queen adapted by refusing to let her eyes get a closer look at the vegetable. Mentally picturing the thing in her hand as perfectly cleaned, washed, and disinfected, she sank her teeth into the orange carrot, snapping off a chunk violently by bending it downwards, the piece landing right on her tongue.
Already, her stomach convulsed out of utter terror, but Elsa persevered, chewing slowly and deliberately with her eyes closed. The taste was just so... she didn't really have a better word for it, eccentric when raw. In her mouth, the vegetable was somehow both unbelievably dry enough for her to choke, and yet watery enough to make her question reality. It took all of the Queen's willpower to convince herself that the carrot was perfectly juicy by itself, and not because it was covered in deer saliva.
Much to Elsa's gratitude, the carrot eventually became easy enough to be rid of with a single swallow; she gasped for a breath afterwards, feeling the lump landing down in her stomach, and smiled weakly to the mountain man and the reindeer staring at her in awe. "I-it's... It's what friends do, right?" she laughed nervously, slightly perplexed by their faces.
Kristoff's eyes flicked to the bitten vegetable in the Queen's hands, and he cleared his throat delicately. "Um, Elsa... What you did was very admirable, but...
"...I offered the carrot to you as a joke."
Wait, what.
Unlike many people, Kristoff and Elsa were not exactly the most chatty folks walking around in Arendelle. The two were perfectly capable of enjoying small-talk, especially to the people regarded as family, but they've frankly spent enough time doing exactly that; as of now, they were taking a long break, just enjoyed each other's company in the silence of the sleepy Palace interiors. It was only until they stepped into a familiar hallway did Elsa finally spoke up.
"Kristoff..." she asked shyly, "are you sure I should be doing this?"
The large man next to her responded with a snort. "Hey, you're the one who wanted to change your current family situation. At least tell Anna what you'll be up to firsthand, before any possible, erm... misunderstandings begin taking place." He shuddered. "I don't want to be a victim of the ensuing bloodbath."
Elsa bit the bottom of her lip, frowning at the insecurity lingering inside her. "I know that, Kristoff... but will it make anything easier? Will it truly help in me becoming a better sister to Anna?"
The ice harvester pulled his mouth to one side, looking briefly uncertain for the outcome himself. "Nothing's easy in life nowadays." he answered gruffly. "But, it shouldn't be impossible though, especially now that I know both sisters are fighting for the same goals."
The words didn't make sense to the Queen's ears. Both sisters? she wondered.
Anna? Doing her best in improve herself like I was? The implications doesn't make any bit of sense! Why would she need to, when she is already the most caring sister anyone in the world could ever have?
Elsa must know for sure: She stared at Kristoff straight into his brown eyes, stopping the ice harvester in his tracks. "...About Anna," she asked slowly, "what exactly were you talking about?"
The ice harvester blinked at the Queen, and gulped audibly, fidgeting to scratch at his reddened ears. "Ah," he breathed to himself, "me and my big fat mouth..."
Elsa crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.
"Look, it's nothing for you to worry about." Kristoff affirmed. "End of story. You can trust me when I say that it is harmless and well-beyond the need for hiding."
"Then what are you still trying to hide?" Elsa pushed.
"I... really cannot tell you, Elsa. You can try forcing me into spilling the beans, but I'm a guy who keeps my promises."
Which means... Anna was the one who doesn't want her older sister to know. The whole revelation was curious enough to draw a concerned frown on Elsa's face, but she stopped pressing the issue any further; the Queen had already seen the worth of Kristoff's words.
Instead, she resumed back to walking, with the mountain man following closely behind until the finally came to a stop, right in front of Anna's bedroom door.
"Well." the young man stated. "Here we are."
The question of what exactly Kristoff and Anna had been hiding from Elsa faded into obscurity, as the pale lady turned to the ice harvester to smile in appreciation. "Thank you Kristoff... for everything that you have done." The Queen elbowed the ice harvester in the arm to express her gratitude.
Kristoff beamed in response, standing a little straighter in pride. " You are my girlfriend's sister, and my friend besides. It's the least that I can do."
With that said, the ice harvester turned around on the heels of his shoes to promptly walk away from the door. His sudden abandonment did not go unnoticed; Elsa made a double-take, whipping her head so quickly that she nearly slapped herself with her own braid. "Wait, Kristoff!" she called out as quietly as she could, so as not to disturb the inhabitants of the Palace. "Where on Earth are you going!?"
Kristoff gave her a withered glance, as if he had expected her to have known already. "To the bathroom, of course. I'm a human being, I still need to empty my bladder somewhere!" He returned to his path, waving a hand behind him as he continued to walk away into the darkness of the halls. "Don't bother knocking, Elsa. She sleeps like a rock."
Elsa huffed through her nose in exasperation, disappointed that she no longer had a companion nearby. The inconvenience wouldn't be enough to scare her from entering Anna's room, of course; Elsa was well past such insecurities for three weeks now.
Granted, having someone to make sure she won't develop cold feet would have been appreciated.
"Great, great..." Elsa muttered to herself, rubbing the heel of her hand to her temples. "Now, because someone can't hold it in for another five minutes... I guess it's just you and me, huh?"
She eyed the patterns on the door, marveling at how the crocus patterns seemed to swirl and dance from one bud to the next, until it dawned on her that she was merely delaying the inevitable, stalling for time. Keeping that in mind, she mustered up what felt like all of her strength, just so she could reach for the brass doorknob.
It would have been much easier if Anna had already woke, and opened this door at this very instant. Elsa mused to herself. It would certainly spare me the trouble of going through this mess...
Bizarrely, the Queen's memories suddenly flashed back to her years spent as a child after the Accident, when Anna's preferred method of heckling her older sister was still stakeouts. The little redhead would wait in hiding out of sight until Elsa was forced to leave her room for food or tutoring, and then charge while squealing hysterically in an attempt to tackle-hug her target. Terrifying days, those were.
Elsa couldn't help but feel the corners of her lips rise, and she chuckled privately. Yes, those were still very sad times, but if anything could be found as lighthearted and amusing during the thirteen years of isolation, Elsa would have her laughs where she can get them.
The platinum-blonde raised her shoulders and puffed up her chest; enough internal reflection, she was about to make everyone proud by going full steam ahead. Gathering all of her aplomb, she grasped the door handle firmly, and pushed down the hinge with perhaps a little more strength and drama than was necessary.
Don't you think that's too much steam going on, Miss Snow Queen?
With great care, Elsa lightened her grip on the doorknob, and pulled the door little by little so it wouldn't make a creaking sound. Taking a few instances to compose herself, the platinum blonde peeked inside.
Now, Elsa always knew that her sister was not exactly what one would call "neat"; if the Princess made a mess in the Palace, for example a collapsed suit of armor, or a domino of falling marble bust stands, it would be more in Anna's nature to sweep the issue under the rug, both metaphorically and literally.
Even so, it didn't get any easier for the Elsa to look at Anna's room at its logical conclusion.
The elder sister cringed at the jubilant chaos smothering Anna's bedroom, almost forced to look away from the anarchic state it was in: Kristoff had earlier described the room like the aftermath of a hurricane running rampant inside the bedchambers.
Meanwhile, Elsa preferred to describe the disaster as if Anna had decided to strap every loose article of clothing, toy, discarded snacks, old flowers, and anything else no smaller that the Princess herself to a massive firework, before setting it off in her chambers just for giggles. Such a circumstance would have garnered similar results, what with a porcelain teapot hanging precariously off the top corner of Anna's dresser, or ribbons strewn around like confetti during the Carnival cleanup.
Elsa shook her head in disbelief, and gingerly lifted the hem of her skirt high. Bending over to watch her steps closely, she plotted her every move so the high heels of her frosted shoes would not poke holes in anything of value.
Of course, your feet are more likely to serve as impromptu trash pickups, Elsa. Couldn't you just snap your heels off?
Elsa's right eye twitched involuntarily; first things first, she really needed to do something about her constant self-criticism... even though her inner voice actually had a fair point.
The Queen's contemplation was cut short, as her knee knocked themselves against the wooden frame of a bedpost. She blinked, and looked down at the mattress to see a lump snuggled deep beneath thick blankets, with only a band of red hair standing out in the night.
Elsa sighed, and lightly pulled down on the sheets, unveiling the rest of Anna's face; the Princess appeared incredibly peaceful in her sleep, the muscles surrounding her eyes completely relaxed, a hint of a smile touching her flushed face.
The platinum-blonde's heart warmed at the sight, and she prodded her baby sister gently on the freckled cheek. "Anna... can you hear me?" she asked.
Seemingly disturbed by Elsa's voice, Anna's eyes scrunched up in something akin to irritation. At least, that was what the Queen assumed, and she planted her fingers to her mouth in haste.
Then, the most irritating, cacophonous, ear-splitting racket rumbled and groaned from within the Princess herself, sounding like an organic rendition of two chunks of sea ice grinding incessantly against each other.
Well, at least I know for sure that she's completely succumbed to slumber... Elsa was in half a mind to poke the redhead even harder, but her hand paused out of hesitation.
Seriously, why haven't you considered the problems and gaping holes regarding your marvelously primitive, half-brained scheme of yours? Anna is currently in deep sleep right now! In all honesty, you're being a bit of an idiot if you believed you could be a better sister, waking her up in the dead of night like that!
Elsa swallowed hard, her hand withdrawing and tucking itself against her chest. Maybe I should come back some other time. she thought-
A flurry of flapping bed sheets parted, giving way to strong hands that rose from within. A pair of sprightly arms locked around Elsa's neck, weighing the Queen downwards with the full force of the redhead's body. Elsa gasped out of astonishment, her blue eyes focusing onto the Princess' lips. They opened and closed repeatedly, forming words that were accompanied with rasping breaths.
"Ma... Ma..."
Ma... Ma...
Mama.
"Mama," Anna mumbled, this time much more strongly. The Princess squeezed even tighter around the Queen's neck, her lips stretching into a wide smile of joy. "It's been so long, Mother."
Elsa choked, what was left of her breath now completely taken away.
Mama.
Mother.
Anna thinks I am our mother...
A cold dagger of lament pricked Elsa's heart; what else was she supposed to do in this situation? "Anna, I'm..."
I'm not our mother. I am only your sad excuse of a sister, something who could just barely register as a guardian just because she was a Queen with magic powers.
Well, that was what Elsa intended to say, but...
Anna just looked so happy, thinking she was was talking to her Mother again. It's true, all of this is merely a product of Anna's dream, an inconsequential series of images and mental trickery that will disappear as soon as she wakes up. This was all a fragile fantasy, a soap bubble that will pop the moment the Princess opens her eyes and rise from bed. Come the break of dawn, all of this will be forgotten and discarded. Why should Elsa even bother maintaining this illusion?
And yet... something possessed her older sister that day, something that told her to let this dream linger for just a little longer.
"Anna, I'm...
"...I'm here. I'm right here for you. I'll try to stay around for a little longer."
Anna beamed through her sleepy eyes, but not for long; they started to convulse and pucker, and her mouth twisted as if she was trying to suppress the urge to cry. "You're here... Please, don't go away again. Please, don't leave me alone!"
Elsa was well aware that she was only feeding her sister's delusions; it was her turn now to fight back the incoming flow of tears. "Anna... I can't do that. I can't be a mother to you forever. I can't-... I can't love and care for you like I used to, because I mustn't stay for long."
Anna made a whimpering sound that tore at Elsa's heart even further. She wasn't used to seeing her beloved baby sister sound this vulnerable, this heartbreakingly lonely since three weeks had passed. "Shh..." Elsa soothed. "It's okay, y-young one. I-I've got you..."
A stroke of inspiration dawned upon Elsa's mind, and she patted the redhead on the shoulder. "Listen, Anna." she began, sniffling a little. "I can't remain to care for you, but I... I know for sure that Elsa, your big sister, will try to make up for it the best she can."
Anna's eyelids fluttered upon the mention of her sister's name. "Really, Mama?" she asked.
"Yes, please trust me on this." Elsa assured, now slipping her cool arms behind Anna's back for her own embrace. "I know she can be such a burden with her powers, and she gets upset more often than you do. Your sister can be a real crybaby at times, always the being the one suffering the meltdowns, always feeling so weak and afraid... and yet, you've done and sacrificed so much to help her, because she was your family.
"Well, it's time that she finally becomes a true elder sister, the best big sister anyone in the world could be. She will decide her own choices, compensate for the thirteen years spent leaving you alone and unloved. She will make herself stronger for you, for Arendelle, for everyone. You won't have to worry about her hurting herself or anyone else, because she is going to take matters into her own hands, and pull her own weight when push comes to shove.
"There will be dark times ahead, I'm certain. But, Elsa wants you to know that the next time you come seeking her out, it will be because you want to spend time with your sister and best friend, and not because you must be the one to ease her from her sorrows... J-just have faith in her, y-you'll see."
Anna's soft whimpers slowly came to a stop, and she hugged even tighter. "Okay..." she mumbled softly. "But..."
"Yes, Anna?"
"I already know she is the best big sister in the world." Anna beamed from ear to ear, and her sleepy eyes just opened wide enough to reveal her blue irises. "You should have told me yourself, Elsa."
Elsa's cheeks blazed as her younger sister finally released her grip on the Queen, and fell back to the mattress with a flop.
Anna had heard everything. Of course.
"...How was my Kristoff?" The Princess yawned. "Did... did he make you cry? Was there any ice?"
Elsa blinked at her sister's questions, but her lips formed into a warm smile of her own. "He was simply wonderful, a gentleman through and through."
"That's... great to...- to... know." Anna sluggishly remarked. Her eyes returned to being as relaxed as they were before, and her breathing became slow and regular. The Princess had succumbed back to total slumber.
Someone knocked on the door, and Elsa whipped her head around in response, her icy blue eyes falling upon Kristoff waving shyly from the doorway. The ice harvester carried a cushioned chair with him on one arm, and made his way through the carnage that was Anna's bedroom. "I was watching." he whispered. Elsa made a sour face at him, which only drew a snigger from the blond man.
In the middle of Kristoff's trudge, he came to a stop, and bent over with one arm outstretched. When he stood back up, he held small dolly in his large hand, a smiling little girl with blonde hair and wearing a pretty blue dress. The childhood toy sent Elsa into titters, as she pointed at with mirth. You were right all along. she mouthed.
The ice harvester grinned, and placed the very comfortable-looking chair by Anna's bed, gesturing for the Queen to take a seat.
Elsa took the offer, nodding to the mountain man in gratitude. But, the Queen frowned when she realized he was left without a place to sit. Intending on making a cushion out of snow to solve the issue, she was therefore mildly surprised when she saw Kristoff content with seating himself on the floor, resting his back against the side of Anna's bed. The man had already tucked the little Princess next to the real one before quickly giving a snore, his chest rising and falling with every breath.
Anna is truly lucky to have met him, a person who can be our best friend.
Elsa watched two of her favorite people in the world as they rested in peace, a smile curving her mouth as she laid back, and welcomed the moment when slumber finally took its hold on her conscience.
Who knows...
If that time ever comes, I wouldn't mind calling Kristoff my brother.
Ah, remember Helge's Notes from the last chapter? It will be a regular thing now. Sorry.
See you guys soon, fans of Frozen.