Thank you for the great reviews! Now that my christmas break has started I should be updating a lot faster now!
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Rory's POV
I haven't eaten, slept or even spoke since Kyrie found out the truth about the bet. My guilt was slowly eating away at me, killing me slowly. I couldn't get the look of utter betrayal on Kyrie's face before she ran off.
"Rory, you need to eat something." Blaine said worriedly, leaning towards me as I sat lifelessly in the choir room. I didn't answer.
We were all waiting for Finn and Mr. Schue to get back from their meeting with Santana and principle Figgins about the slap. I hadn't seen Kyrie since it happened and I was starting to get worried. Was she ok? Was she just as badly affected by this as I was? Did she even care? Finally Finn walked in, the Trouble Tones behind him. They all took their seats while Finn wrote 'Lady Music Week' on the whiteboard. I sighed, slumping down in my seat as Finn explained about the songs we were doing. All the female equality that was being talked about only made me think about Kyrie and how I had completely blown any chance I could have had with her.
"Worry about yourself foetus face." I sighed again at Santana's resistance to our help. I wish I could say that my problem was all her fault, but I knew that it wasn't. I was the one who challenged Kurt and I was the one to fall in love with Kyrie.
That's right, I know I'm in love with her. I dream about her every night, her smile, her laugh. Mostly I dream about our first kiss, which was my first kiss too (not that I would ever tell anyone that.) I dream about what it would be like if we had gone all the way, to hold her against me afterwards and tell her again and again how much I love her.
"Glee is about learning to except yourself for who you are, no matter what people think." I wasn't listening to Finn, my head snapping up as someone barged through the door.
"Sorry I'm late." Kyrie mumbled as she headed for the seats. I was up in an instant.
"Kyrie I-"
"Don't!" she snapped harshly, taking a seat away from all the rest of us. I sank back down, resuming my original position. Great, she hates me. Once again, I was barely listening as Finn picked up what he was saying.
"A-and that's what this music is about." I lifted my head to see Santana looking very unimpressed.
"So I don't even get a say in this? Not cool." she stated bluntly. Finn gave her a sympathetic look as he walked closer to her.
"Everybody in this room knows about you and Brittney and we don't judge you for it. We celebrate it because it's who you are. Look we know that people outside this room aren't as accepting and cool as we are, but we're doing this assignment to show you that even in this rotten sticking world that you will still have a group of people who will support and accept you for who you choose to be." that was quite a speech from him and I could see Santana was slightly touched by it. I snuck a look at Kyrie to see her glaring straight ahead, her eyes burning with hurt. Why would she show up if she was only going to feel pain?
"Thank you for coming as well Kyrie, I know it must be hard for y-"
"It's not hard, he means nothing to me now." my heart broke at those words, each one spat with a certain amount of venom. Finn shot me a sympathetic look before addressing Santana again.
"That's it. Kurt, Blaine." he sat down as Kurt and Blaine got up, standing in front of everyone.
"Santana, Kurt and I have a song we like to sing to each other in the car and we wanna sing it to you right now. Kyrie maybe you should listen too." Kyrie glared at him before replacing her gaze on the piano, not even flinching like the rest of us as Santana tore into their kind gesture. Kurt just gave her a soft smile.
"I know it's hard, it was hard for me too. But you can get through this."
"If you stop being so defensive." Blaine murmured quietly.
"I'm trying." Santana said bluntly. "But your hideous bowties are provoking me." she added at the end and I rolled my eyes.
"Wait," we all turned to Puck. "Are we talking lady on lady or girl on girl." I shook my head at his single mindedness. Mr. Schue gave him a warning before we all listened to Kurt and Blaine again.
made a wrong turn,
once or twice
dug my way out,
blood and fire
bad decisions,
that's alright
welcome to my silly life
mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
miss "no way, it's all good", it didn't slow me down
mistaken, always second guessin'
under estimated, look, i'm still around
pretty, pretty please
don't you ever, ever feel
like your less than
less than perfect.
pretty, pretty please
if you ever, ever feel
like your nothing
you are perfect to me.
I hope Kyrie listens to the song, because it says how I feel about her. She doesn't need fancy clothes, make-up or money to be perfect in my eyes, she's all I could ever ask for.
you're so mean[you're so mean]
when you talk[when you talk]
about yourself, you are wrong.
change the voices[change the voices]
in your head[in your head]
make them like you instead
so complicated,
look happy, you'll make it
filled with so much hatred
such a tired game.
it's enough, i've done all i can think of
chased down all my demons,
seen you do the same.
pretty, pretty please
don't you ever, ever feel
like your less than
less than perfect.
pretty, pretty please
if you ever, ever feel
like your nothing
you are perfect to me.
the whole world stares so i swallow the fear,
the only thing i should be drinking is an ice cold beer.
so cool in line and we try, try, try,
but we try too hard, & it's a waste of my time.
done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
they don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair
change ourselves and we do it all the time
why do we do that? why do i do that?
(why do i do that?)
[yeah~, ohh~
pretty pretty please]
pretty, pretty please
don't you ever, ever feel
like your less than
less than perfect.
pretty, pretty please
if you ever, ever feel
like your nothing
you are perfect to me.
pretty, pretty please
don't you ever, ever feel
like your less than
less than perfect.
pretty, pretty please
if you ever, ever feel
like your nothing
you are perfect to me.
Everyone but Kyrie and Santana clapped, Kyrie still glaring at the floor with a softer look in her eyes.
"Thank you guys." Santana said with a smile. "Thank you Finn especially. With all the horrible crap I've been through in my life, now I get to add that to it." everyone's faces dropped at her harsh comment, Kurt and Blaine both looking a little insulted as she gave them a sarcastic clap. The bell rang loudly and she stood up to leave. Once she was gone, Kyrie stood up, coming to stand in front the boys. She was silent before wrapping her arms around their shoulders.
"Thanks guys, it means a lot." I heard her whisper before she left, not even giving me a glance. I sniffed loudly, refusing to cry. It was unmanly and wouldn't do any good. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Mike giving me a sorry look.
"She'll come around Rory, just give her time." I looked away, gathering my stuff and walking out. If ignoring me was Kyrie's way of getting back on her road, then I would leave her too it, anything to make her feel better.
Kyrie's POV
please baby can't you see
my mind's a burnin' hell
i got razors a rippin' and tearin' and strippin'
my heart apart as well
tonight you told me
that you ache for something new
and some other woman is lookin' like something
that might be good for you
go on and hold her till the screaming is gone
go on believe her when she tells you
nothing's wrong
but i'm the only one
who'll walk across the fire for you
i'm the only one
who'll drown in my desire for you
it's only fear that makes you run
the demons that you're hiding from
when all your promises are gone
i'm the only one
please baby can't you see
i'm trying to explain
i've been here before and i'm locking the door
and i'm not going back again
her eyes and arms and skin won't make
it go away
you'll wake up tomorrow and wrestle the sorrow
that holds you down today
go on and hold her till the screaming is gone
go on believe her when she tells you
nothing's wrong
but i'm the only one
who'll walk across the fire for you
i'm the only one
who'll drown in my desire for you
it's only fear that makes you run
the demons that you're hiding from
when all your promises are gone
i'm the only one
"That was for you, Santana…and Kyrie I guess." Puck smirked over at Rory and I glared at them both, even though I knew Rory probably would do what the song suggested. It's just the kind of person he is…or should I say was. "I know it was just part of a phase but whatever, you oblige, always." he finished as everyone clapped.
Mr. Schue stood up, ushering Puck back to his seat. "Ok, anyone else have a song for Santana?" he asked. I narrowed my eyes as I stood up and took the spot at the front of the room.
"Santana, as I'm sure you knew from your early bulling days, I'm not the best liked person at this school. In fact I'm so unpopular people have started making bets on me." I noticed both Rory and Kurt shrink in their seats, but I only took slight joy from seeing Rory be sorry for his mistake. "But if these last couple months have taught me anything it's that even in my darkest hour when I feel I have no one, not even those I cared most for, by my side, then all I can do is hold my head up high and be proud for who I am, not what anyone else wants." Rory's lip was quivering but I didn't care, just signalled for the band to start.
Someone falls to pieces
Sleeping all alone
Someone kills the pain
Spinning in the silence
To finally drift away
Someone gets excited
In a chapel yard
Catches a bouquet
Another lays a dozen
White roses on a grave
To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do
Someone finds salvation in everyone
And another only pain
Someone tries to hide himself
Down inside himself he prays
Someone swears his true love
Until the end of time
Another runs away
Separate or united?
Healthy or insane?
To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do
And even when you've paid enough, been pulled apart or been held up
With every single memory of the good or bad faces of luck
don't lose any sleep tonight
I'm sure everything will end up alright
You may win or lose
But to be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do
Santana was looking at me with a mixture of pride and sympathy as the song finished but I only held my head up, refusing to look at Rory. Slowly Santana stood up, coming to stand before me.
"I'm sorry for everything I did to you. You truly are an amazing person." she said before sitting back down.
"I know." Rory mumbled to himself but I still heard. I nodded at Santana, trying to keep my eyes off Rory before taking my seat again.
Finn stood up next, coming to stand next to the piano. The music was soft and I knew the song as soon as Finn started singing.
I come home in the morning light
my mother says when you gonna live your life right
oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones
and girls they want to have fun
oh girls just want to have fun
the phone rings in the middle of the night
my father yells what you gonna do with your life
oh daddy dear you know you're still number one
but girls they want to have fun
oh girls just want to have–
that's all they really want
some fun
when the working day is done
girls– they want to have fun
oh girls just want to have fun
The guys harmonies were beautiful, Rory staring at me the whole time he sung while the others concentrated on Santana. I caught his gaze before lowing mine to the floor, unable to look at him without feeling my stomach twist and my blood run cold.
some boys take a beautiful girl
and hide her away from the rest of the world
i want to be the one to walk in the sun
oh girls they want to have fun
oh girls just want to have
that's all they really want
some fun
when the working day is done
girls–they want to have fun
oh girls just want to have fun,
they want to have fun,
they want to have fun…
I looked up at the end to see Rory was giving me his sorry look. He had tears in his eyes as he stared at me with a lost look. Now that I'm finally looking at him properly, I can see the bags under his eyes, the paleness of his skin and just generally how sickly he looked. Is he feeling that guilty?
Wordlessly Finn stood up, looking a little defeated before Santana stopped him.
"Thank you." she whispered before hugging him. He hugged her back.
"I love you Santana." he mumbled as he hugged her back. Everyone was smiling warmly at them apart from me and Rory. He was still staring at the floor, a tear slipping down his cheek. I watched feeling my stomach twist with a very unfamiliar feeling. The bell rang and I all but sprinted from the room. I could feel my eyes burning with a sensation I hadn't felt for nearly six years. I made it to the girls room and was thankful no one was inside.
I stared at myself in the mirror, glaring at my reflection while forbidding myself from crying. It helped, the burning reducing to a dull ache. I knew right about now everyone would be in the gym voting but I didn't care for voting, no matter how much I wanted Kurt to win.
Instead I left the bathroom, heading for the exit. Just as I was about to open the door, it opened from the other side and I walked right into a warm chest. Arms instantly went to my waist before I could pull away, holding me gently as the musky smell of Irish moors and cologne filled my senses.
"Kyrie…please let me explain." I pulled away from Rory, staring up at him with cold eyes. "Please tell me what I can say so that you can forgive me." he pleaded, his eyes red from what I assume was crying.
"I don't know what you can do to make this pain go away Rory. Every time I look at you, I am only reminded of the fact that you had to be forced to notice me, to befriend me and help me experience some of the biggest joys I have been missing out on because of my stubbornness to stay away from anything that could potentially hurt me." he stared down at me, his eyes filled with shock and regret.
I sighed as I turned and walked away, my heart yearning for him to hold me some more with each step. I still didn't know what I felt for Rory, but I knew it couldn't be love because if it was I'm sure I would be chasing after him instead of letting my fear control my actions. That's what love is right?
Hope you liked it and I have loads more to come. PM me if you're curious and I just might give you a small personal trailer (Please not that I will be choosing my own songs for regionals and nationals)
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