Chapter 14

Jeanette paced back and forth impatiently in the C-Sec office and wondered if it was really possible to wear a hole in the floor from walking on the surface too much. If it was possible she couldn't help but feel sorry for anyone who might be standing on the floor directly below her. After all, having someone in heavy metal armor land on you is not as fun as it sounds and she would know.

Her eyes flickered to her companions who had equal expressions of impatience. Garrus stood ramrod straight at the door to the lobby, his eyes scanning the crowd like a hawk in search of Kelham or maybe he was still focused on Sidonis, Jeanette couldn't be sure. Thane stood not far from the Commander, hands behind his back but in place of his usual mask of calm his face showed a hint of anxiety and she only saw it because she was looking for it. The man had years of practice to hide his emotions from prying eyes but she knew he wasn't in the least bit calm. Jeanette stopped her frantic roaming, figuring she wasn't helping the assassin's nerve or her own.

They had been waiting for Captain Bailey for more than fifteen minutes now. He had left to arrest Elias Kelham and bring him in for the squad to interrogate in the hopes of finding Thane's son. The news that he even had a son took the Commander by surprise but she had let the drell say all he had to before speaking a word. Thane had waited patiently outside the med bay until Jeanette was done with her check-up. The two took the conversation to Life Support as the man had fidgeted nervously while out in the open. She couldn't shake the thought of her accidentally pushing Thane back into a memory she had no right to know about.

His eyes dart back and forth, clearly not seeing what was directly in front of him, not seeing her but something else entirely. Words spill from his mouth without his permission and Jeanette can't tell if listening is a violation of his privacy but she can't help but stand, frozen in place there as he spoke "It's raining. It always rains on Kahje"

A sigh escaped the Commander as she did her best to push the memory down, rubbing her temples as though it would magically make her forget. The memory he was forced to relive was the one of his wife's funeral and his son, a scared and confused kid, who had kicked and screamed as they set her body adrift on the sea. That talk was almost two days ago where the assassin informed her that his son had taken a contract to take a man's life on the Citadel. She could still remember the scowl she had received from Garrus as she told him that finding Sidonis would have to wait until after they found Kolyat. Garrus did his best to speed things along but it did not really help and now the turian was more anxious than before which only added to her worries. An angry turian was no laughing matter and seeing that the turian was her best friend made her twitchy. She had taken an alien cultural class back in basic but that didn't mean she knew how to calm every species. Each race had a unique way of interacting and getting past that cultural barrier was always a challenge. How did one calm a turian?

Another minute past before a man, presumably Kelham, was being dragged by two C-sec officers through the door and once he had been pulled into the interrogation room Bailey stepped from a separate room and into the office "He'll be expecting me to get him out of this"

"Not today I think" Thane stepped forward next to the Commander as he replaced his nervous face with a neutral expression.

Arguing could be heard over by the entrance and Jeanette saw Garrus keeping a man in a fancy suit from entering. The turian held up his hands to placate the man but he would have none of it. Soon more officers approached the outraged man in order to calm him. Jeanette could make out a few angry words about the law before Bailey spoke "Aw, shit. It's his lawyer. I'll keep him busy, you two get in there and act fast" Bailey hastened toward the fuming lawyer while Jeanette turned to the assassin.

"We should question him together, keep the pressure on. Thoughts on how we approach?"

"Plan?" Some people liked to think that Shepard was strategically genius, like that of a chess player who had thought of several different outcomes ahead of time. In reality her strategy was to think on her feet, quick on the draw and resourceful. Some called that just being reckless but it worked for her. She never saw the point of thinking of every contingency when you had no idea what you were walking into until you passed through the door. There was inevitably one choice you can make at any given time. Today wasn't going to be any different. Jeanette adjusted her visor, switching the screen that hung over her right eye to read heart rates "I hope you learn fast, Krios. This is going to require some improv. We'll test the water and see which temperature gives us the best result and then we'll nail him"

Thane gave a hesitant nod "I'll follow your lead"

Jeanette heard the silent "I hope you know what you're doing" at the end of his sentence and gave a silent reply of her own, I hope so too. Jeanette motioned for Thane to follow as they entered the interrogation chamber. The man was cursing up and down, pulling at his restraints until he spotted the two "Who the Hell are you two?"

"We'll be asking the questions, Mr. Kelham" the Commander replied calmly as she slowly found her way behind the man, checking her visor for the slightest fluctuation.

"You hired a drell to kill a man. We need the target's name" Thane walked in the opposite direction, hands behind his back as usual, and stopped right in front of Elias.

"I want my advocate"

"You apparently haven't noticed, but we're not C-sec. No deals, no due process, no advocate"

"That's supposed to scare me? You two are way in over your heads. Bailey won't let you touch me"

"Bailey doesn't know you're here" Jeanette paced with an air of calm behind the man. She hoped that by staying only in the man's peripheral vision she would make him nervous and she was right. The man's heart had stopped for just a fraction of a second as she spoke from behind "But he will. After we're done"

"You're not the only one who can by off C-sec, Kelham"

"What are you, frog boy? Her little apologist? What kid, you going to bore into confession? Come on, hit me. I dare you"

Jeanette was tempted but she had a better idea "Bore you? No" in the blink of an eye the Commander had pulled out her pistol and put it under the man's chin. Her visor read a jump in the man's heart rate "I had thought about bluffing, make you think I'd pull the trigger but people tell me I don't have a good poker face" a lie, everyone knew better than to play poker with her.

Jeanette eased back and into the man's view as she sheathed her sidearm. Thane came to stand next to her, his voice steady "You think we're doing the old routine of 'Good cop, Bad cop,' don't you?"

"We're not. We're both the good cops. The badass is on the other side of that door. Look, we're not after you, just the assassin. Tell us who the target is and you'll never see us again. If you don't" Jeanette gave a small shrug as she looked toward the door "then things get ugly"

"You're… you're just bluffing" she saw the hint of doubt in the man's eyes and knew all she had to do was close the deal.

"Fine, come on" Jeanette nodded toward the door. The two walked back around the man the same way they came in, one on either side before muttering just loud enough for Kelham to hear "It's not like the guy thinks you need fingers to talk, just a tongue. Hey, you remember last week?"

Thane gave a nod "I never thought I'd see the day a krogan cried"

"Right? I told the poor sod our partner was an impatient nut job" Jeanette was mildly surprised at how well the drell improvised, it was like he could read her mind. She made a mental to check the extranet to see if drell had telepathic abilities later.

Just before they reached the door a bang resounded off of it. It was loud and quickly followed by another before a growling and angry voice spoke "Are you done yet?" Jeanette bit her cheek to keep from laughing. She constantly told people they had horrible timing but Garrus? Garrus had perfect timing.

"Alright! I'll tell you!" the two turned back to the man "Joram Talid. He's a turian. You better hurry, he's in the eight hundred blocks"

"Get out of my way" the doors slid open, revealing the lawyer who pushed past the angry turian "Get away from my client"

"You tricked me" Elias glared at the two when he realized his advocate was there but all Jeanette did was smirk down at the man.

"Sure did" Jeanette turned and left, ignoring the shouts and insults thrown at her. She slapped Garrus on the back as she headed toward Bailey, ignoring the perplexed expression she got as she spoke "Remind me I owe you a drink later"

"So, you get the name?"

"Joram Talid, eight hundred blocks. We need there now"

The Captain gave a nod and ordered an officer to drive them. During the ride, the officer had told them what they knew about Talid. He was an anti-human politician and voting was right around the corner. His anti-human campaign was probably why Kelham wanted him dead.

The squad made it to the neighborhood in record time thanks to the C-Sec vehicle. Once there they searched for the turian and spotted him talking to some voters with a lumbering krogan bodyguard behind him. When asked, Thane told them that it was best to follow silently and keep an eye out for Kolyat. Garrus and Jeanette found their way to the walkways above to keep a constant eye on the politician while the drell kept to the shadows to get a different angle.

Jeanette had wanted to leave Garrus back at C-Sec with his attitude running amuck but he had seemed adamant about coming with. Her worries ebbed away as the man appeared more focus now that he had something to do, something that kept his mind off Sidonis. Satisfied that he wouldn't be a problem for the time being she kept her gaze on the turian below.

The team followed closely and Jeanette made sure to stay out of the emergency lights above to avoid a leaving a shadow that could flicker in the turian's sight. Garrus, not quite as stealthy stood farther away. The smallest thing could alert the politician or his bodyguard and if they had the feeling they were being followed it would tip off Koylat and he would most likely take the chance to flee before they could even get to him. While Jeanette kept her eyes on the politician, Garrus honed in on the surrounding area for any signs of a drell. They kept in constant radio contact with Thane and updated him every step of the way when he didn't have a good angle.

The two were about to lose sight of the turian and hurried into a small room they hoped would lead them back to the politician. A young man heard the doors slide open and turned, immediately questioning why the two were there and the Commander did the first thing that came to mind, to bullshit "What are we doing here? What are you doing here? There's a bomb!"

"A what? But-"

"Go! Before it explodes!" she watched the man flee in terror the way they had come and she tensed just a tad as she heard a small dark chuckle leave her friend. Not wanting to let Thane down, Jeanette raced out of the room as she pushed down her worry for Garrus. The doors slid open and she saw Joram and his bodyguard nearing the apartments. Movement caught her eye, it was a blue scaled drell shoving a man aside. She raced to the end of the platform and gripped the railing "Kolyat!"

Everyone turned to look up at the Commander and she saw a look of surprise and confusion pass across the drell's face before he turned back around and started firing a pistol. It was clear he had no real training with it as three shots went off and only one hit the krogan. It was a lucky shot too as the bodyguard fell over, unable to stay standing. Joram raced for the apartments with Kolyat right on his tail. Jeanette leapt down from the walkway, ignoring the pain in her legs from the height of the fall, and pursued "Thane!"

"I saw" the assassin appeared next to her and the sound of another set of feet landing on the ground indicated Garrus wasn't far behind them. They raced through the building until they came to the room Joram had fled to. Jeanette had her pistol out and aimed at Kolyat who had his own gun to the turian's head.

The young drell faltered at the sight of his father but surprise soon turned to anger. He didn't bother to hide the distain in his gravelly voice "Is this a joke? Now? Now you show up?"

"Put the gun down!" Jeanette was back to her idea that everyone had bad timing as Bailey and some C-Sec officers came into the room. Flashing red and blue lights poked past the blinds of the room and the sound of sirens were muffled by its thick walls.

"I'm leaving and he's coming with me!"

"They'll have snipers outside" Thane tried explain but his son yelled at him.

"I don't need your help. I'm leaving and you-" Koylat ducked his head at the sound of a gun firing. He heard something crash as it hit the floor behind him. A quick look showed that someone had shot the lamp just next to his head and as he turned around a fist connected with his face. The gun dropped from his hand involuntarily as he staggered back. He saw the blond woman pull the turian to his feet and barked at him to leave. He growled at the woman as he held the side of his face with one hand "You bitch!"

"Kolyat" Thane approached his son as the Commander took a step back once she picked up the pistol from the floor. Thane tried soothing words as the boy barked at him. Jeanette couldn't bear to see the fight before her, too many memories lingering in her mind from a similar incident with family. It seemed though that the words were starting to work on the boy, his hatred turned into confusion at his father's mention of tracking down his wife's killers. Kolyat listened as Thane told him he had hunted down the men and made them suffer.

Tears leaked from the boy's eyes but his anger began to rise once more "Even if what you say is true you still left me! Give me one good reason why I should listen to you!"

"Because you'll regret it if you don't!" everyone in the room turned a shocked look toward the Commander who had screamed loud enough to wake the star system over, even Thane and his son stood in shock. They saw the woman's body shake from anger and saw her own regret flash in her eyes. She pointed a finger at Kolyat as she took one step forward "Your father came here to make this right! He's alive, right here and now but he might not be here next week. Hell, he might be dead tomorrow! You walk out that door now and you'll always ask 'what did he have to say?' And this" the woman visibly choked on her words "this is coming from experience"

Jeanette saw the doubt on his face and her body shook more "You don't believe me? I tell you something I haven't told anyone" she didn't want to, she really didn't want to talk about it, not in front of her best friend and especially not in front of strangers but she couldn't think of a better way to get through to the boy "My mother… for years I thought she hated me. She would call me stupid or my friends stupid, she was never there for me when I was a kid but she was there for my brother. Those two got along like two peas in a pod but any time I wanted to hang out with my mother she would say 'I'm busy' or 'I'm tired' or 'I have to go to work soon.' She had no respect for me but thought the universe of my brother. At one point my mother just left me alone. I don't know what changed but for months she didn't call me stupid or anything. Maybe someone finally got it through her head that I felt hated but I don't know. One day though, everything went back to normal, straight down to the insults but it went beyond a heated argument and I'll never forget it"

Jeanette let the memory take over as she continued to speak, letting her feelings be voiced as she looked straight into Kolyat's eyes.

"Don't give me that look!" Jeanette almost cried. She knew that look well, it was the one she received from her mother just about every day of her life. Jeanette had dubbed it the "are you stupid?" look.

Her parents had been arguing again and for what could possibly be the hundredth time she wondered why they ever got married. Her family couldn't go one week without some fight breaking out and the worst part about it was that they argued about the stupidest things you could think of. Just the other week the family had driven to a nearby store and was about to park in their usual spot when Jeanette's father saw the sign that said it was reserved parking for the store next door. Her mother had complained furiously about how he should park there anyway and sue if the other store didn't like it. Jeanette and her brother had immediately gotten out of the car as the two began yet another argument.

This time the argument had been about her brother who only had a few more days before he graduated high school. He had been in a mood lately due to their parents fighting and had become disobedient and didn't do anything around the house. Their father had yelled at him for being a lazy brat but Jeanette knew better. Jason had been working at a job since he was sixteen and paid for his own car insurance, giving their parents the money every time the bill came. Not only did he have a job but had school. How her parents expected him to work nights, go to school during the day, and find enough time to sleep after doing chores was beyond her comprehension.

Now though, he not only paid for his insurance but lent money to their parents because it had become harder to pay the bills and Jason knew he would never see that money again. Jeanette just couldn't wrap her head around how parents' brains functioned. Were they crazy or did they just love bitching? Either way Jeanette had stepped in and defended her brother. At one point in time everyone in the house agreed she was the level headed one but a lot of the time no one wanted to listen to a word she said because she was younger than everyone else and thus too stupid to know what she was saying. Today seemed no different as her mother had stalked out of the bedroom fuming and yelling, wondering what was going on.

Her mother began yelling at her father who yelled back. The argument soon turned from about Jason to about Jeanette. She didn't know how or why the anger was shifted to her, it just was. Her mother started yelling at her, her voice drowning out her brother's protests and as usual her father had stayed quiet. He was always quiet when Jeanette was yelled at by her mother. She never knew why, she got along with her father. Why wouldn't he help her?

Her mother called her ungrateful, lazy, stupid, and then "Useless, that's what you are you disrespectful brat! I'll look at you anyway I want! This is my house!" Jeanette watched as her mother lifted up a nearby glass vase. Her mother had a tendency of throwing things when mad. She would toss something aside and not care if it broke. Her front door was proof of that as the woman had thrown an electric drill at it when she had a fight with Jeanette's father and left a giant dent in the door. So Jeanette knew what was coming next… or at least she thought she did. No matter how mad her mother got the woman never threw anything at someone, just to the side but this time the vase flew straight at her.

Jeanette's hands flew up to cover her face just before the vase impacted. The glass shattered and Jeanette's arms hurt as blood ran down them, glass shards digging into her skin. Fear, shock and most of all hatred filled her, her stomach was churning painfully as she removed her hands. She saw horror and guilt cross her mother's face but she didn't believe it. After all these years Jeanette refused to believe the woman's concern was genuine, just another lie that would spill from the hateful woman if given the chance. So Jeanette didn't give her that chance "I hate you!" Jeanette screamed at the top of her lungs before turning on her heel and racing out the door.

She heard her mother call after her but ignored it, ignored the pleading voice because once again she refused to believe that woman, refused to believe the last words that chased after her "I'm sorry! Jean!" She kept running and didn't look back until she had found herself in the woods but only to check to see if anyone had followed.

It was hours before Jeanette dared to trudge back home. She had hid behind some trees until she saw her parents drive off in the car. Once the vehicle was out of sight she left for the house. She took one step inside before she was greeted by her brother "They left"

"I know"

"What are you doing?" Jason followed Jeanette to her room and watched as she pulled out a suitcase and started stuffing clothes in it.

"I can't stay here"

"Jean" He saw the blood on her arms had dried and was now beginning to flake off. He also noticed how there were still a few shards left buried in her skin. He reached for her arm but she flinched away from him.

"No! I can't sit here and wait for them to come back only for mom to yell at me more or pretend this never happened, either way won't fix anything. I'm going to stay with a friend until… until that woman knows how to treat her own damn child!"

Jason threw his hands up in defeat and walked out of the house, he knew she was right. Her family didn't know how to fix squat and that only meant trouble later because no one could leave the past buried. Someone always brought it up in a fight and it only made things worse.

Jeanette had dragged her stuff to the living room when she heard ships overhead but ignored it as the spaceport wasn't far from the house. She did stop though when she heard even more engines and heard them land a lot closer than the spaceport. All of a sudden screams could be heard outside and Jeanette moved to the window, peering through the blinds. She watched strange four-eyed aliens piling out of the ships and firing guns. Jeanette ran out of the house when she heard her older brother's scream of pain. Two of the aliens had taken a needle to his neck and now the teenager laid unconscious in their hold. They spotted her, waving some nearby batarians toward her as they called in some strange language she couldn't understand.

"I hate you" Jeanette repeated but it was barely above a whisper "That was the last thing I said to my mother. The next thing I know my home is under attack by batarian slavers. My parents dead and I'll never know if my mother meant it when I heard her say 'I'm sorry.' I regret not stopping, I regret not turning around and I regret what I said. But your father is here and he wants to make amends. The least you can do is listen, take the chance I never took"

More tears rolled down Kolyat's blue scales as his father took a cautious step toward him. Thane looked up into his son's eyes and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. Bailey moved up next to the Commander as he cleared his throat, his voice filled with sympathy "This conversation shouldn't continue in front of strangers. Take Kolyat and his father to the station and give them a private room"

"Thanks Bailey. You're doing them a favor" Jeanette's throat felt constricted and her eyes burned.

"Yeah, well, send me a Christmas card or something. Come on, I'll give you a ride" Jeanette and Garrus followed the Captain back to the vehicles and sat in silence. The two friends sat in the back but Jeanette focused her attention out the window. She felt her friend's nervousness, could sense he wanted to say something and she was glad when he said nothing.

Once back at C-Sec, Jeanette didn't waste time. While Thane talked with his son she questioned Bailey on anything he had regarding Fade, the man Garrus said would help them find Sidonis. He told them their best chance was down in the on the lower levels of the Zakera Wards and made sure to tell them to deal with the man quietly as the place was already in an uproar from the shooting. It wouldn't really matter if she did cause trouble because as a Spectre it was unlikely that she would or could be arrested.

"Bailey, when Thane is done tell him to return to the Normandy. I'm going to get one of my other squad to help"

"That won't be necessary" Jeanette turned to see Thane leave the room, his posture far more relaxed than it had been all day "I am ready and at your disposal Shepard. You have helped me and now I will return the favor"

"Before you go" Bailey motioned toward the room Kolyat occupied "Your son shot some people. I'm afraid he'll be doing some time. I don't like it but there you have it"

"I saw though guys shaking down stores, harassing and threatening humans. The kid wants to make a difference" all eyes turned back to Jeanette "give him community service"

"Community service for attempted murder? What jury will agree to that?"

"None that I've seen. This would have to stay strictly within C-Sec"

"Interesting, I'll have to think about"

"Thank you" Thane respectfully bowed to the Captain before leading the way out of the station.

Once outside Garrus had taken the lead, his stride long and determined. Jeanette knew the man had conflicting emotions running through him. She saw in the station how he still wanted to comfort her and how as soon as she mentioned the word Fade to Bailey his emotions shifted back to anxiety and hate. It wouldn't be long until they faced his demon and Jeanette prayed that it ended well.

Her morning had already felt like it took a week trying to chase down Kolyat. She felt physically and emotionally taxed but chasing down Fade felt like she was losing a month of her life. Fade turned out to be Harkin, a sleazy pig who used to work for C-Sec. Every time Shepard had ever heard someone say the bastard's name she felt like she needed a shower. Now was no different as the man fled, sending Blue Suns mercs and heavy mechs to take the squad out.

During the chase Jeanette saw her friend tense more and more, his desire for what he called justice and Jeanette called revenge, grew with each step. Never before had she seen him like this and it scared part of her. Every now and again she tried a soothing word here and there or asked if killing Sidonis would really help. Her actions only seemed to fuel the fire burning in him and once he snapped at her. She knew killing Sidonis wouldn't bring his team back to life but Garrus just didn't seem to care.

Harkin was a slime ball if ever she saw one and felt no pity as Garrus caught the man off guard and threw him against a wall. However, she did feel worried as Garrus tried to snap the man's neck with his heel. She put a hand on the turian's shoulder and he eased off to let the man back up. Harkin sent Sidonis false information, saying a contact would meet him. Jeanette was ready to leave when Garrus pulled out his sidearm and aimed at the man's leg. Reacting on instinct she pulled his arm back, the gun firing at the ceiling "You don't need to shoot him. He can't hide from C-sec now"

Garrus pulled his arm away with more force than was necessary and watched Jeanette leave for the exit with Thane. He put his gun away but didn't leave until his head slammed against Harkin's. The man groaned in pain as he fell to the floor "I didn't shoot him"

Jeanette said nothing as they left for the cab they had taken earlier. Jeanette took the main driver's seat while Thane hoped in the back. She wasn't about to let the time bomb of a turian take the wheel and eased her way into traffic. For a long while no words were spoken but eventually the turian couldn't take it anymore "You should have let me shoot Harkin. Man's a damn menace"

"You okay, Garrus? You were pretty hard on him"

"He broke the law, he deserved to be punished" Garrus turned his attention to the woman and took in her calculating look before looking back out the window "What do you want from me, Shepard?"

Jeanette felt hurt that the man had called her by her last name but ignored it "This just isn't like you"

"Really? I've always hated injustice. The thought that Sidonis could get away… no"

"I understand that you're mad, but you can't let what he did change you"

"What would you do if it was your people that were betrayed? All killed?"

"Let me talk to him" Jeanette ignored the question because she thought Garrus knew her by now to know the answer.

"Talk all you want, it changes nothing"

Jeanette set the cab down and let Garrus out so he could find a spot to snipe from. He told her to keep Sidonis busy until he gave the signal but Jeanette knew she couldn't let her friend pull that trigger, it would destroy the man she knew and she wasn't about to give up on her best friend. She didn't tell him that though as he shut the door and left. She could feel Thane's eyes on the back of her head and was afraid he was judging her but he said nothing.

Jeanette checked to see if her comm was working before she walked up to the turian she figured was Sidonis by his active scanning of the crowd and nervous posture. Once he spotted her she waved him over and stepped right between the two turians while Thane stood to the side.

"You Sidonis?"

"Don't, don't say that name in public"

"I've got him lined up, move" Jeanette heard over her headset.

It was now or never "Sidonis, I'm a friend of Garrus. He wants you dead. I'm hoping it won't come to that"

Jeanette kept talking, trying to weasel even the smallest bit of information from the frightened turian. Garrus growled in her ear but refused to budge, she would stay standing there for the rest of her life if she had to. She wasn't losing another friend. She moved every time Sidonis moved and made sure Garrus caught every word spoken over the radio. He was a coward whose life had been threatened but now the man was nothing more than an empty shell of his former self. Jeanette could see the pain in his eyes, the lack of sleep was written all over his face and he looked too thin to be eating properly.

"Move, Shepard!"

"You gotta let it go Garrus, he's already paying for his crime"

"He hasn't paid enough, he still has his life"

Jeanette spun on her heel and stared at the spot she knew Garrus was at. Her blue eyes lit with sadness and determination in his scope "What life, Garrus? He's not living, not really"

"Just… just move"

"Or what? You'll shoot me?"

Sidonis freaked out as she said that and grabbed the woman, pushing her behind him. She was completely caught off guard and knew that a bullet would fly threw his head before she could make up for her mistake. She saw Thane move around the turian most likely thinking he had been about to hurt her but stayed out of Garrus' line of sight "He can't! He can't shoot you, not if you're his friend"

"Damn it! Get behind me" Jeanette growled as she reached for the turian but the man wouldn't budge, making sure she was out of the line of fire. She barely realized that Garrus still hadn't pulled the trigger.

"You don't deserve to die!" regret laced through the man's voice "None of them deserved the fate I inflicted upon them… but if this helps Garrus then I'll let him shoot me. You're too kind a friend for him to lose"

There was a pregnant pause on the radio and for a second Jeanette thought that Garrus would go through with it and fire at the man "Tell Sidonis… just tell him to go"

Jeanette let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding "It's your lucky day. Garrus wants you to leave. Don't ruin this chance"

The man turned a shocked expression toward her, she was going to have to start keeping track when people did that, and his mandibles twitched in disbelief "I won't! Thank you! Thank you, Garrus" He was about to leave but stopped and walked back up to Jeanette "If you can still hear me, don't be mad at her. She seems like a good friend"

Jeanette watched the turian leave and when she turned back to the balcony there was no sign of Garrus so she tried the radio "Garrus?" but she got no response. She turned to Thane but he received no reply from the turian either. She switched to the other commonly used frequencies but got nothing. She finally resorted to her visor and ran through the squad's readings. She found that under Garrus' radio status it read "off." Jeanette rubbed her temples in frustration before giving up and heading back to the Normandy. Once aboard she asked EDI to run a head count to see if everyone was onboard.

"Sensors show that all crewmembers are aboard the Normandy and at their stations. Also, I believe it would be crucial to inform you that Officer Vakarian returned earlier and seemed quite agitated. He is in the Main Battery and has locked the door with his own security code configured to the lock. It will take a few moments but do you wish me to override?"

"No. He needs space. Joker" Jeanette turned to her pilot once decontamination was complete and she was through the airlock "Time to head out"

"Kasumi's party, right?"

"Yep, just next door. Once that's over set course back here. We need to install more upgrades and I think the crew could use a break in the meantime"

"Aye, aye"

Jeanette turned and left for the armory, not waiting for Thane, so she could deposit her equipment. She then left for her cabin. She didn't want to talk anymore today. She wanted to collapse and pretend she hadn't just ruined her friendship with Garrus, pretend she didn't talk about the last time she saw her family, and pretend that the goddamn universe was perfectly capable of taking care of itself. Her life sucked and she just wanted to scream all the frustration out but she didn't. She turned the lights in her cabin off, using only the glow from the fish tank to find her way over to her makeshift bed on the raised platform where she tried to pretend she could actually fall asleep without having to worry about another memory. But pretending didn't make it reality.