Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

Author's Note: Sorry it has taken so long to update but I have just started University and have had to reorganise my time, the good news is now that I have my official timetable worked out I can have my writing time back!!

Oh and just a side note, no major cliff hanger with this one, and nope I am not sick!! LOL

CHAPTER 14

Dean kept taking surreptitious glances over at Sam, it was two hours now since Sam regained consciousness but the young man remained silent. He appeared not to be even aware of Dean or Bobby. He sat with his back against an armchair, his knees drawn up to his chest with his long arms wrapped around them hugging them tight to his chest. His gaze fixed on a place only Sam could see.

Terrified that he had fallen for another trick by the demon Dean refused to go and rest in the bedroom, ignoring his own pain he wanted, no he had to stay where he could see Sam.

Bobby hovered over both the silent young brothers; unsure of what to do for them in all of the years he had known these boys he had never known them to be so quiet.

Feeling unsettled he stalked off to the kitchen busying himself with making a late supper.

'Sammy?' Dean whispered as sleep finally took control of his mind and he drifted off while staring at Sam's profile.

Tears fell freely from Sam's eyes as he sat trying to assimilate everything that crashed through his mind. His four year old self cried openly, terrified at what was happening he didn't understand why he couldn't go to Dean, Dean would make it all better.

But adult Sam, still had no connection with the frightened toddler, there was something missing, not all of his memories were there.

'Dean?' Sam murmured turning to look at the bruised and battered man asleep on the couch, his handsome face marred by multi-coloured bruises and a large gash running down the side of his face. Stiffly Sam stood and on wobbly legs stepped closer to his brother until he was able to sit down on the floor with his back against the couch, turning onto his side Sam rested his head on Dean's hand and closed his eyes, he just had to rest for a few minutes and then he'll be a lot better.

Bobby came back in to announce supper was ready when he found the brothers sleeping. Dean on the couch and Sam sitting on the floor with his head resting on Dean's hand.

Smiling tenderly down at the younger men he considered his adopted sons, though he would never admit to that under cross examination, he picked up a throw rug and gently covered Dean's legs with it. Then, going to the closet he pulled out another rug and draped it over Sam's shoulders. 'Night boys,' he smiled as he turned the lights off, leaving the hallway one on in case they woke during the night. He put the food away for reheating in the morning and made his way to his own bed. Suddenly feeling exhausted himself.

Dean opened his eyes with a start, pain flared from the bruise on his back and his arm felt like it was going on numb, but when he managed to focus his sight clearly he saw Sam's head resting on his hand.

The contact filled Dean with a healing warmth no drug or medical intervention could possibly come close to. With a deep sigh he moved slightly to take the pressure off his lower back and then settled back to sleep, his free hand now resting lightly on Sam's shoulder.

Sammy stayed quiet knowing that if no one heard him he would be safe. He huddled against the big tree, feeling the hard bark against his back, the roughness grazing his fragile skin. But he was safe, no one would find him there.

Shouting and gunshots startled him and he pressed harder against the tree, his hands over his mouth to stop himself from crying out. 'Sammy where are you?' he heard Dean call out, but it was a trick. It couldn't be Dean could it?

'Sammy you don't have to hide anymore Dad got the monster.' Dean called again, 'come on buddy time to go home.'

Sam frowned, home he remembered just motel rooms, no home, no mummy ... where's mummy?

'Sammy hey there you are.' Dean smiled and crouched down in front of the frightened child. 'Come on kiddo time to go home.'

'Where's home Dean? I losted.' Sammy cried throwing his arms around Dean's neck, 'I losted and don't wanna be anymore.'

'It's okay Sammy, I'll take care of you, I will always take care of you.'

Sam cried out and jerked his head up, fresh tears still damp on his cheeks, he stared around in fright, unsure of where he was, 'Dean?' he cried out loudly, 'Dean?'

'Hey Sammy, it's okay I'm here.' Dean's sleep-filled voce came from behind him. 'It was just a dream Dude.'

Sam pulled away and turned to face Dean, his green eyes wide and luminous in the sliver of moonlight breaking through the blinds. 'You're Dean?'

'Yep the one and only,' Dean tried to sound upbeat but it came out as a grunt with the fresh waves of pain coursing through him.

'Dean? And, and we're at Bobby's?'

'Yep that's it Sam, we're safe here.'

'You're hurt!' Sam said it as a statement and not as a question.

'Ah I'm fine.'

'No, no you're not ... want me to get Bobby?'

'Nope, let him sleep he's been putting up with us too much lately,' Dean grimaced trying to hide the pain but failing miserably.

'Pain killers?'

'Yeah thanks Dude.' Dean admitted begrudgingly.

Sam uncoiled his long body and stood up swaying unsteadily he lurched to the darkened kitchen. Moments later, he reappeared carrying a glass of water and a bottle of painkillers with Dean's name scrawled over the label.

Dean took two and then downed the glass of water, not realising just how thirsty he was, he watched Sam fidgeting as he waited for Dean to say something. 'So Sammy how old are you tonight?'

'Dude!' Sam whined and then grinned, 'hmm well I guess twenty-four?'

'Good guess, and where are we?'

'Bobby's house.' Sam sighed his gaze wandering around the room, stopping on the piles of reference books and papers on the old desk, salt lines on the window sills and then he flickered his gaze to the ceiling where the devil's trap was, the one that held Meg so long ago now.

'Sam hey concentrate for me,' Dean snapped trying to get Sam's attention, he may be twenty-four again but he has the attention span of a four year old. 'Who was Jess?'

'Jess?' Sam frowned, the name was so familiar, tears prickled his eyes as he knew that he should remember her easily but something blocked it.

'Okay how about an easier one, what was Dad's name?'

'John ... whatcha mean was Dad's name?' Sam glared down at Dean, 'where's Dad Dean?'

'Ah okay awkward ... we'll talk about that later Sammy, I just need to know if you're really back with me.'

'You're Dean, you're twenty-eight, I'm Sam your brother, I'm twenty-four, our last name is Winchester, we're hunters, and, and we're staying at Bobby's house.' Sam rattled off the memories he was sure of, embarrassment shone on his face as he realised that there was a lot still missing. 'Jess meant a lot to me didn't she?' he asked softly.

'Yeah dude she did.'

'Jess is dead?'

'Yeah two years ago now.' Dean confirmed the memory for Sam.

'Dad's dead isn't he!' Sam stated his voice low and empty.

'Yeah, the demon took him.' Dean said preferring not to elaborate on it any further.

'Demon?'

'The yellow eyed bastard that took, Mum, Jess and now Dad.' Dean spat out regretting it instantly when he saw the tears welling in Sam's overly-expressive eyes. 'Dude I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap.'

'That's okay Dean,' Sam said so softly that Dean had to strain to hear him. 'want me to help you up to bed, it'll be more comfortable than that couch.'

'Thanks Sammy but I ...ah!' Dean winced and gasped audibly as he tried to put weight on his feet. His lower back flared in flames of pure agony, 'yeah you had better, don't want to wake Bobby up.'

'Yeah right,' Sam smiled ruefully as he wound one long arm around Dean's waist mindful of his lower back injury, 'lean on me completely Dean.'

'Hey who's the older brother here?' Dean protested weakly.

'You are but I don't have a smashed lower back, now lean on me or I will carry you.' Sam threatened with an evil grin.

'Dude you are so gonna pay for that,' Dean grumbled but did as Sam asked and leant heavily on his taller younger brother. 'This is so embarrassing.'

'Dude stop complaining and walk.'

Dean took a couple of shaking steps and then felt the white pain whip his legs out from under him and he stumbled against Sam. Without saying anything Sam slipped his arm under Dean's knees and easily picked him up carrying him the rest of the way to the bedroom.

'Dude you are so dead if anyone finds out about this.' Dean fumed hating to be so dependent on anyone let alone Sam.

'Yeah right, first you have to be able to catch me,' Sam quipped as he staggered with Dean's extra weight but still managed to get him to the bedroom without further incident. Five minutes later Dean lay on his side with pillows piled up behind his shoulders and the backs of his legs to stop him from accidentally rolling onto his back.

'You have to let me see it Dean,' Sam said a little forcefully than before, 'even with my Swiss-cheesed memory I can still remember how to check out deep bruising.'

Grumbling under his breath about the indignity of it all Dean gave in and let Sam check out the damage.

'Oh dude,' Sam breathed when he saw the large black bruise and swelling spanning the width of Dean's back. From one hip to the other was one large bruise. 'It's really bruised and swollen, Dude what did they get you with a tank?'

'Felt like it, I guess fighting as well doesn't help huh?'

'Nope not really, just adds to it.' Sam said dryly, 'I'll go and get an ice pack we have to get that swelling down it's pressing on your spine.'

'Tell me something I don't know,' Dean mumbled miserably. 'Damn Sammy that's cold.' He flinched when Sam pressed the ice against his bare skin.

'Sorry Dean,' Sam felt himself flinching in time with Dean. 'Hey umm can you tell me something?'

'What?'

'I ah had a dream, dunno it was weird but I was a little kid hiding against a big tree. There was a lot of yelling and gunshots and then you found me ... you said that Dad killed the monster.'

'Oh man that was a long time ago, you would have been around four I guess, we were on our way to another motel, when we had to stop for a pee break. You and your weak bladder dude ... anyway Dad saw the tracks made by a werewolf, he told us to stay in the car but you didn't hear him coz you were busy watering the trees. The beast came after you and you ran and hid in the woods. Dad tracked and killed it and the while he finished with it he sent me to find you.'

'So you were eight?'

'Yep, you used to hide so well but somehow I always found ya.'

'Thanks Dean.'

'What for?'

'Filling in the blanks, I – I thought that it was just a dream.' Sam admitted, suddenly finding himself wondering just how many memories he had dismissed as dreams.

'Nope really happened Dude, and Dad didn't even seem to get that mad with us coz we didn't get hurt and we got back to the car before he did.' Dean explained visibly relaxing as the ice pack drew out the heat from his back.

'Dean?'

'Yeah Sammy?'

'Dad, he – he used to get really mad with me didn't he?' Sam mumbled.

'You and Dad ... you were different that's all Sammy, you saw things differently to Dad and he didn't really understand it.'

'I remember lots of fighting but not what the fights were about.' Sam admitted.

'You didn't want to hunt and Dad didn't understand that, he should have wanted to hunt coz that was the way we were raised.'

'Okay.' Sam said and then drifted off in his own thoughts and memories, Dean felt the ice pack fall away and craned his neck a little to see Sam sound asleep curled up on the other side of the bed. Settling back down Dean thought about Sam's questions until he finally too let the sleep imps work their magic and fell into a dreamless deep sleep.

TBC