The Meeting - Chapter 14

After the supper that John hardly touched, John asked Buck to walk with him. Buck thought that was unusual but agreed to go. When Blue asked to go along, John thought of another chore to keep him busy. He really needed to talk with Buck in private. The last thing he wanted was for Blue to hear about Jasper's suspicions. Blue was finally sleeping all night again and hadn't had a nightmare in over a week. The talk with Buck had eased his mind. He looked healthier and more rested than he had in a while. John wanted to keep it that way.

The two men walked together chatting about ranch business until they were out of earshot of family and ranch hands. When they reached a knoll where John liked to admire the sunset, he stopped Buck with a hand on his arm and took a deep breath. Looking out at the sunset casting color over the desert, John gathered up his courage and spoke about something he would rather have never known. "Buck, I didn't bring you out here to discuss the ranch. It's about Blue."

Buck responded, "Well John, I didn't figure you wanted to talk about the ranch. If it was just ranch talk you woulda' done that at the house and woulda' let Blue Boy join in. I figured it's about Blue or you wouldna' come all the way out here. Does it have somethin' to do with Jasper leavin' so fast?"

John took another deep breath and chose his words carefully. "Jasper told me something the last night he was here that has me worried and I hoped you would be able to help me make sense of it."

"Well, that musta' been some news to have you so worried. What is it John? You ain't been yourself today and you didn't eat no supper."

"Buck, do you ever wonder why Blue doesn't look like me or that there were no other children for Annalee and me?"

"Well, I think Blue Boy looks like his ol' Uncle Buck and favors his mama quite a bit and lots of folks only have one child. Ain't nothin' wrong with that. It ain't for us to ask why God gives some folks a house full of young'ns and some got one or two and some ain't got none at all. What does this strange mood of your'n have to do with what Jasper told you and him leavin' so fast?"

"I'm trying to tell you if you'd just shut up and let me!" John was not so sure this was a good idea, but kept going anyway. "I suppose the best way to say it is to just say it. Jasper told me that Blue could be his son." Having the words finally out in the open, John's shoulders dropped and he waited for Buck to say something.

Buck wasn't sure what he'd heard, but it couldn't be what he thought. Surely the boy he thought of as practically his own had to be who they thought he was. To think that they'd raised him as a Cannon for over twenty years and some other man would step up and claim him just like that. Buck was having none of it. "John, that boy is ours – yours and mine. Can't nobody take him away from us. Jasper's lyin'. Ain't no way Annalee would do that to you. He didn't tell Blue this made-up story, did he? If he ain't, want me to git rid of him 'fore he does?"

John could see the emotions slipping across his brother's face, from disbelief to anger, then fear, then back to anger again. Good old Buck always stood up for John, whether he needed it or not. He was grateful for that support right now because this was the worst thing he'd ever faced. This was the worst thing that either of them had faced. It was hard to imagine Buck as anything but "Uncle Buck", the title he'd worn with pride since Blue was born. John had an urge to hug his brother, but Buck would think he'd gone completely loco. He put his big hand on his brother's shoulder. "Jasper said he would never say anything to Blue. He only told me to get it off his chest. I found out that he and Annalee had kept in touch all these years."

"But, how? When did they…?" Buck didn't finish the thoughts because he wasn't sure he really wanted to know. He knew how babies were made, but this was his brother's wife. She was a fine lady who took care of everybody. It would be like trying to imagine his own mother in such a manner and that wasn't proper. "Big John, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry, but it just don't make no sense."

"I know. I've thought of nothing else since last night. Remember the year before Blue was born when we both went with the posse after the Denton gang? We were gone for three months."

"Yeah, I remember that. We spent all them weeks huntin' them rascals and you got separated from the rest of us. Word got back to Annalee that you was thought dead. It took us better'n a week to get word to her that you was okay. I remember how relieved she was when we got back home."

"Well, that's supposed to be when it happened. Jasper said that after she heard I was dead, she was going to marry him and go to Boston. When she got word that I was coming home, she asked Jasper not to say anything about what happened between them. She sent him back to Boston but kept in touch through his cousin Becky."

"That don't mean that you ain't Blue's Pa."

"That's what I told Jasper. I don't believe that Annalee had another man in our bed. If she did, and I'll never believe that she did, there is still a good chance that Blue is my son."

Buck realized that John looked tired. He'd been worrying over this for two days and was reaching his limit. He hoped that he could help him in some way. "Well, John, maybe you should try thinkin' less about provin' if he is or ain't and think about it another way. Blue ain't my son but I couldn't love him more if he was, and this ain't changin' my mind about how I feel about him. Does it change your mind about your feelins' for him?"

John stood silent as Buck's words sunk in. Maybe he had a point. If Annalee had Blue before they married, he would have adopted him without hesitation. He would have loved the little boy because he loved the boy's mother. "No, it doesn't change how I feel about him. But what if he finds out and it changes how he feels about me?"

"Aw, John, I don't think Blue's gonna' leave us. I think he loves us as much as we love him."

"That's what Jasper said."

"I don't know why he had to tell you this hogwash in the first place. I don't think it's true. Annie-Lee didn't have no eyes for anybody but you. She mighta' thought you was dead, but I still don't think that would make her let another man into her bed unless she was forced. She wasn't forced, was she?"

"He says not, but I don't think a man would tell the truth if he was guilty of something like that."

"Most men wouldn't, I reckon. You ain't gonna' tell Blue, are ya'?

"No. I don't know if it's true, and if it is, there's no point in worrying him. You agree?"

"Yeah, I think you're right. Blue ought'n ta' have to worry over this too. You been worryin' enough for all of us. If you don't want him knowin' sumthin's wrong, you gotta' pull yourself together brother."

"I know Buck, but it's not easy to do. Jasper said Annalee kept the secret because she loved me. I wish she'd been here to tell me it's a lie. My heart says it's a lie, but my head says it's possible. I know she was a strong woman, but we were gone for three months. She might have lost hope that I'd come back."

Buck thought about this. He supposed that it was possible for Annalee to get so lonely that she would take comfort in the arms of another man. Any way he looked at it, he had a nephew that he would give his life for. Did he really want to question it? The hardest thing was going to be getting John to realize that Blue was the same boy they had both been committed to raising since birth. Whatever happened in the past two days was irrelevant as far as Buck was concerned.

"John? Why don't we set a spell and talk like we used to do. You got a lot to chew on and I think it might give us a chance to put our minds at ease." Buck took a seat on a rock and gestured at the rock beside him. John sat leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped before him. Buck took the same posture as he thought some more.

They sat in silence for a while watching the sunset until John finally broke the silence. "What happens if I don't tell Blue and he finds out some other way? Do you think he'd go to Boston? But, what do you think he would do if I told him now?"

"John, I already told you that boy loves you. He tries hard to do everything the way you want him to. He'd only go away if you wanted him to. All you gotta' do is ask him to stay."

"Buck, you know how hard it is for me to talk about things like this. I could lose the ranch and it wouldn't hurt this much because I'd know you and blue would be here with me helping to start over. He was the main reason we came out here. I wanted to build something special for him."

"I hear ya' brother John. It wouldn't be the same if he wasn't here. I know you would trade the ranch if you thought it would save him from a broken heart. Ain't that what a man oughta' feel for his son?"

John looked at Buck with amusement. "You should have met a nice woman and had a house full of children. You would be a good father."

Buck returned John's smile. "I'm just happy to be Uncle Buck. I don't think any nice woman coulda' put up with my bad habits and I'm too stubborn to change. This way I got to help raise the young'n, get to eat good, and didn't have to get married. But, if by some chance a woman managed to get stuck with me, I'd try to be a Pa just as good as my big brother is."

"Thanks Buck. I don't give you enough credit for the things you do for me, and for Blue. I know he depends on you to talk to. He was closer to Annalee than to anyone else and he sure misses her."

"Awe, Big John. You know that if I wasn't here, you'd figure out what Blue needs. Course, each of you is about as stubborn as the other. Sometimes, that gets in the way of your thinkin'. That's when Ol' Uncle Buck tries to make sure you hear each other over all the yellin'."

John looked out at the sunset again. "Annalee warned me over and over that I could lose Blue if I didn't learn how to show him love and understanding. I wonder if she thought that Jasper would show up one day to try to take him away?"

"John, I think you're lookin' fer somethin' that mightn't be there at all. I don't remember any doubt in Annie-Lee's eyes the day Blue was born. You was the one she chose to be Blue's Pa and I never seen you prouder. I woulda' swore you was gonna' bust the buttons clean offa' yer shirt. That's the first time I seen ya' cry too. Ya' didn't cry at our pa's funeral, but I seen ya' cry when that tiny little baby was placed in yer arms. I swear Blue is the only person on this earth that can get that heart-felt a reaction from ya', 'cept maybe Victoria."

"For a tough old cowboy, you sure have a way of looking into a person's soul. Did you ever think about being a preacher?" The slight twinkle in John's eyes gave away the humor in that statement and made Buck laugh.

Buck put his arm across his brother's broad shoulders. It wasn't easy because John was a few inches taller than Buck, even sitting down. "Why John, I believe you must be delirious with fever makin' such crazy talk. Ol' Uncle Buck a preacher. I ain't heard nothin' so crazy in a long time. Now what are we gonna' do about Blue?"

John stood and walked back to the edge of the knoll with his hands balling into fists and relaxing again in that way he had when he was thinking. Buck had seen Blue do the same thing when he was agitated. Nobody was going to tell Buck that John and Blue weren't father and son. Now, if Blue never found out any different, everybody would be happy.

"We're going to pray that we never see Jasper Daniels again, Buck."

I left this one open-ended just to shed some doubt on Blue's parentage. It's ripe for a sequel (Jasper returns? Blue goes to Boston?) but I don't have a plan for it yet. Review and let me know if you think there should be a sequel.