These Christmas chapters are going to be a little behind schedule.. i was too busy eating Christmas food! Hope every one had a Merry Christmas and has a great new year!

Disclaimer: Don't own the Blacklist. (And i made up everything about Sam having a sister. I don't know if he had any siblings!)

"Red?"

"Hmm?" Raymond looked up from the morning paper, a piece of buttered toast in his hand. His eyes landed on a very under-dressed Lizzie as she padded over to him. She plucked the half eaten toast from his hand, took a bite, then placed it back on his plate. From behind, she loosely wrapped her arms around his shoulders, draping them down his chest and glancing over the main stories of the paper.

"What do you want for Christmas?"

Lifting up her soft, pale hand he placed a small kiss on the back. "Absolutely nothing."

She grumbled in his ear, her head falling on his shoulder. "Please, just give me a hint."

He folded his paper in half on the table, and hung his head back to look up at her. "Lizzie, if I have you with me on Christmas day, I can tell you now that it will be the most enjoyable Christmas i've had in very, very long time."

Lizzie nodded, bumping his chest as she did. She knew that Christmas was a hard time for him. He didn't tell her as such, and she still didn't know why, didn't know what happened on that return home in 1990, but she had wondered and made wild guesses. One day she hoped he could tell her. If not, that's fine too. She wanted to focus on the future, the right now. She kissed him on the cheek, stole his toast, and sauntered back into the bedroom.

Red watched her leave, his eyes settling on her swaying hips. He wanted to follow her but decided against it when he checked the time. They had their meeting today with with his contact, Bruce.

"Lizzie," he called. "As much as I love what you are wearing right now, sweetheart, we have to leave in twenty minutes."

"kay," she called back. "In the mean time can you please just write up a santas list?"

Bruce's house was a living dream in Lizzie's eyes. A stainless steel kitchen, glossed wooden floorboards, a skylight in almost every room she had stepped into. Suede corner couches.. She'd always loved corner couches. She sat down on one of the two person seaters next to Red, and sunk into the soft cushions. She had an iced lemon water in one hand and a plate of assorted mini quiches in the other. Bruce was lovely, vibrant, confident, and quite the talker. He was a lot like Red in many ways, though not his physical appearance. He was a very short, and marginally overweight with wide brown eyes and a mop of hair on his head that looked a tad odd. Red had mentioned before arriving that Bruce had a good head of hair, and whatever she thought, it wasn't a wig. Apparently his father's side had great hair genes. She calmed instantly when she shook Bruces hand, despite his criminal background his grip wasn't overpowering it was quite gentle and he seemed pleased to meet her. She was only a little on edge because Dembe wasn't around. Red introduced her as Isabella Chapfield, a 'young, beautiful woman who had just begun working for him'. She was good with numbers apparently.

They were all seated ready to get straight down to business when the side door to the sitting room opened.

"Hey Bruce-oh," A tall, slender young man walked into the living room. He looked genuinely apologetic for intruding. "Sorry, i didn't realise you had company."

"Danny," Bruce welcomed happily, proudness seeping into his voice. Lizzie smiled at the young man in greeting. "This is my nephew," Bruce told them. Danny sat down next to his uncle on the couch. He looked to be about Lizzies age, maybe a few years younger. Danny looked shy, his eyes darting nervously, but he was very good looking. Bright, glassy green eyes, thick brown hair, tanned skin. It wouldn't be surprising to see him feature in a summer month on a calendar.

"Do you live here?" Red asked after quick introductions were made.

"Uh," Danny looked sheepish for a minute or two and Lizzie noticed him wringing his hands together awkwardly. "It's complicated, but my uncle is helping me out till I get back on my feet."

Lizzie nodded, smiling knowingly. She knew all about getting back on her feet.

"There is no shame in that," Red answered and Lizzie felt herself now smiling at Red. She had to act professional she reminded herself. No wistful smiles were allowed, so she turned back to Bruce and his nephew.

"Danny," Bruce addressed. "Why don't you take Miss Chapfield here and show her where I make my licorice."

Red frowned at the request. And started to say, "I need Isabella-" But Bruce's slight shake of the head stopped him from continuing and Lizzie carried on for him. "I'd love to." She had a feeling Danny was unaware of his Uncle's illegal dealings. Or, his 'previous' illegal dealings. Apparently they were over now. The first thing he had made sure Red knew when they arrived was that was his past. 'I've softened with my old age'. The loss of his late wife, Angela, had opened his eyes. It was better late than never he said, but he had only wished his wife could be there to see his change.

Danny sat up, visibly thrilled. "Great! Sounds good, lets go. I'll give you the full tour."

Red shifted in his seat, crossing one leg over the other and keeping his eye on Lizzie as she lifted up from the couch. He seemed uncomfortable at the idea, but he nodded to her as she took her leave to follow Danny. Lizzie gave Bruce a sweet smile as she passed, then turned back to Red, giving him a quick look behind Bruce's back. Telling him everything was okay and he could relax.

"You don't like liquorice do you," Danny said to her once out of earshot of the two men. He led her through the large hallway, the walls filled with expensive, glamorous modern art. She gave him a guilty smile as they started to climb the stairs, Danny's long legs allowing him to miss two at a time.

"How did you know?"

"You sort of winced when Bruce mentioned the word." He laughed. "I'll tell you a secret," he lowered his voice jokingly. "Neither do I."

"Does your uncle know that?"

"No." They walked past numerous rooms and Lizzie slyly glanced into each one. Most of them were bedrooms, maybe for guests, and a few were offices filled with books and a desk with comfy looking reading chairs. "I pretend I love it to keep him happy. I've been told it's an acquired taste but i'm not so sure."

Lizzie smiled, thinking back to the previous night, when she kissed Red. She begun to like the flavour of liquorice. Or maybe it was just a mix between Red and liquorice. She glanced into the last room at the end of the hall, her eyebrows shooting up high on her forehead. "That's a lovely nursery," She slipped out.

Danny stopped abruptly, sighing as he turned around to look. "Yeah.."

"Sorry," Lizzie said, removing her eyes from the colourful room. A girl's room. It was pink and yellow with a rainbow painted on the far wall. Everything for a newborn seemed to be in there. "I didn't mean to be nosy it just caught my eye."

"No, no," Danny waved off her apology. "Go ahead, take a look."

She didn't really want to. Not really. But Lizzie hesitantly stepped into the room, her breath getting knocked out of her at the beautiful layout. It was perfect. Adorable. "It's beautiful," she said quietly.

"There's quite the story behind it."

"Really?" Lizzie asked, not wanting to pry but not wanting to seem uninterested either.

"My parents passed away when I was fourteen," Danny told her easily. "Bruce has basically raised me. Well, I haven't really been around much since I was twenty. I met a woman, Missy, Melissa, when I was twenty two and as most love stories go we fell in love.."

Lizzie nodded to show she was listening and gave him a small smile of sympathy about his parents. The room she stood in looked untouched and she wondered if it had ever been used. "I'm sorry about your parents. Are you and Melissa still together?"

"No, well, we got married when we were twenty-five, she was pregnant at twenty seven, but both her and our baby passed away when she was giving birth..there was something wrong with-" He shook his head, trying to get rid the haunting memories. "God, it was the worst moment of my life. It felt like my parents death all over again and-" he suddenly stopped, his eyes widening in horror. "Oh shit, shoot, sorry, I shouldn't-" he gave her a weak smile. "I just loaded that on you, i'm sorry. No one wants to hear the whole life story upon just meeting."

Lizzie was always easily moved by people's stories. She always cried in sad movies. Her heart broke a little for him. This guy had obviously been through a lot. "It's, it's okay. I'm so, so sorry to hear that, it's awful." She said, finding it hard to be comforting. Finding it hard to know what to say when she didn't even know the guy.

"It was over two years ago." He smiled, but she could tell he wasn't over it when his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. He never would be over it she thought morbidly.

From his story, it sounded like he was twenty-nine going on thirty. He looked younger though, or, he gave off that vibe. The whole clean shaven look with the boyish, messy hair. "I've been with Bruce ever since. I feel like, I feel like i'm finally maybe getting on track now. Bruce had this nursery made when Missy was pregnant. He was so excited. We've just left it the way it is because, well, i don't know- with all the bad memories I still love the room. Missy loved the room..and look at me," he shook his head lightly. "I'm rambling again, i'm sorry. Lets go check out the liquorice." He smiled. "And thanks for listening even though I basically forced it on you there."

Lizzie smiled back, waving off his apology. "It's fine honestly. I'm glad you're getting through it though." She smiled again, and began following him along down the end of the hall.

"What about you?" He asked, looking over his shoulder. "Partner? The way you looked at that room i was wondering if you have a child? Or expecting?-I," he clasped his hand over his mouth quickly. "That has nothing to do with your physical, your physical appearance I just- You know you could maybe be a week or two along?"

Lizzie laughed at his horrified face. "No, not pregnant and i'm recently divorced so you know..just enjoying life by myself for a bit." She lied. She wondered what his reaction would be if she told him the truth. 'I killed my lying, criminal husband, and am now i'm desperately in love with another.'

"Ah, i'm sorry to hear that, but it's good to have some time to yourself." He pushed open a large wooden door. "So anyway, this is where the magic happens. Bruce's pride and joy," He opened his arms wide. "Smells great, huh?"

Lizzie crinkled her nose. "That is strong."

"You do get use to it, I promise." Danny responded with a laugh. "Don't worry, i'll just give you the quick run through. No taste testing unless you're feeling daring. "

Red could hear Lizzie's soft laughter coming from down the hall along with Danny's slightly louder laugh. Bruce smiled widely and said, "I haven't heard Danny laugh like that since he was with Missy." He had told Red earlier about what happened to his nephew, and Red wasn't a monster, he did feel sorry for the guy. No one deserved to go through that. But it didn't mean he had to like the way he made Lizzie laugh. He quickly smiled at Bruce, completely embarrassed and horrified by his petty thoughts.

They entered the room, Danny holding the door for Lizzie, and cracking one last joke. "Janice said lunch is ready," He told Bruce.

"Bravo! Lets go eat shall we?" Bruce hopped up slowly from his seat, his knees creaking as he did. "You must join us, Dan."

Danny walked over to his uncle to help him stand up straighter. "I actually have to get back to work-oh, what the hell," he stood back from his uncle. "I'll join you guys. I can grade the papers later."

"Wonderful!" Bruce clapped his hands after stretching his knees out. "Lets gather in the dining room. Janice has been slaving away cooking us all sorts."

Lizzie let Danny and his uncle lead the way, and she hung back a little waiting for Red to walk alongside her. "Did you get the name?" She whispered.

"We already know him, Jamie French."

Lizzie's eyes widened. "The man we questioned and let go?"

He nodded in reply.

"I better call Ressler and let him know."

"Did you just want to skip lunch?"

Lizzie stopped walking because they were near the dining room and Danny was pulling out chairs for them. "That's a little rude isn't it?" She whispered.

"No, not at all."

"No, we should eat, Red. Look at all that food." Lizzie said, walking into the room and taking the seat Danny offered her. She could hear Red sigh behind her and she wondered what his problem was. He loved good food and would usually never, never miss the opportunity of indulging in it.

Lizzie smiled as she buckled her seatbelt. She was so glad they stayed for lunch. The food Janice, the chef had cooked was divine, and even though it was a little awkward at the end of their lunch, they got their name and Red got his bags of licorice. When she saw Red's not so impressed expression, however, as he started the car, she sighed. In a way, she wanted to laugh because he was being so silly, childish and it wasn't like him. "Red, let it go." She said.

"It was a business meeting, not a blind date, Lizzie."

She smirked, her elbow resting on the window as she turned to watch him. "Seriously? He gave me his phone number. It's not like i'm going to ring him."

"I just don't quite understand why you had to take it in the first place."

"Because!" Lizzie let out a short burst of laughter. "I'm 'meant' to be single. I did try to say no, but Bruce was all for it and you, you didn't help at all. You stood there with your liquorice ignoring me half the time."

"I was acting as your employer."

"Yes, and I was acting as a young, single woman who just got out of a divorce. You were the one who suggested that cover story."

Red took the exit off the highway, they weren't far from their hotel. They would stay the night again and head back to DC tomorrow. "Yes," He replied. "You did that rather well."

"Thanks," Lizzie replied with a good amount of sass. She took the piece of paper where Danny had written his number and ripped it up into small pieces. "There. Happy?"

Red made a clicking noise in his throat as he sent a side glance to her. "You didn't have to do that." Now he just felt silly.

She sighed and leant her forehead against the window, watching the city whirl past. "Its not my fault you're jealous," She mumbled.

"I am far from jealous." Red replied nonchalantly, slowing at the orange light. He laughed at the word and her assumption. He wasn't jealous. Not really.

She looked over at him. "Oh really? Well what would you call it then?"

Before he could muster up an answer, Red's phone begun to ring. He passed it to Lizzie, who pressed the answer button and put it on speaker.

"It's Bruce," she whispered quickly.

"Bruce!" Red glanced at Lizzie but kept his eyes mostly on the road. "Don't tell me you miss us already? It's been a little over ten minutes, my friend."

"Me? No, Raymond, but my nephew on the other hand.." Bruce laughed heartily. "Do tell me, is Isabella privy to this conversation?"

"No."

"Ah, marvelous. Danny seems quite fond of the lovely lady you were with today. " He lowered his voice. "It's been a long time Raymond, since i've seen him happy-"

"I'm sorry," Red answered quickly. "Isabella's very career focused. What I presume you're suggesting just wouldn't be suitable. For her..or I. She will be travelling a lot and I will be using her services frequently."

Bruce stayed silent for a moment. "I see. Do correct me if i'm wrong, Raymond, but I sense, and well, noticied the way you looked at her. A bit of fondness for young Isabella yourself, hmm?"

Lizzie widened her eyes and held the phone closer to Red.

Red just laughed, "No, Bruce, just protective of my business. I don't want any... distractions. Isabella shows promise. I can't have her lose focus."

"Very well," Bruce replied kindly. "You know I won't encourage unless you agree. Be safe, Raymond."

Once in the privacy of their room, Lizzie pulled out her phone and dialed Resslers number. She had already text him, but she needed to call in anyway and see how things went on their end.

"Keen," Ressler greeted. "We were lucky. We got him just in time, he was about to leave the country."

"Oh great," Lizzie replied, pulling off her coat and draping it over the nearest chair. She eyed Red putting the kettle on and nodded when he pointed to a mug, asking if she wanted a tea.

"Should have seen the look on his face when he saw us."

"I can imagine," she smiled into the phone. "Did he try to run?"

"Yeah. Danielle shot him in the leg, she's still freaking about it."

Lizzie smiled. "Tell her I think she's awesome and I hope she's okay. "

"Will do. Catch you on Monday."

Lizzie gave a brief reply then ended the call. She smiled, walking towards Red and watching him dip the tea bag in and out of her mug. He looked up at her, catching her smug grin.

"You've been smiling like that since Bruce called. Something you'd like to share?"

"Share?" Lizzie repeated innocently, taking the offered tea cup. "I don't think so. They got Jamie French."

Red smiled warmly at her, his hands reaching for the cigars on the bench top. "Do you mind?"

She shook her head before her phone started to vibrate on the bench, she looked at the caller and sighed. "I have to take this. It's Sam's sister."

Red looked surprised. "I didn't know you still kept in contact."

Before touching the answer button Lizzie shrugged, "It's sort of a Christmas tradition." She brought the phone to her ear and watched as Red excused himself outside to the balcony. "Mary, it's so good to hear from you."

Oh Elizabeth, how have you been honey?

"Not too bad. How about you and Daniel?"

Good. Good. We're looking after Lilah for the week. She's with Daniel in the garden. She's been talking about you ever since i mentioned calling you.

"I'm surprised she can remember me," Lizzie chuckled into the phone. "I bet she's grown."

She's like a beanstalk! Only seven, Elizabeth, only seven and she's already having rapid growth spurts, everyday i swear.

"Like her mom then." Lizzie stepped over towards the sofa near the balcony door and perched down on it. She braced herself for the next subject Mary would likely bring up.

What are you doing for Christmas? You know you're always very welcome to join us.

Lizzie eyed Red out on the balcony, his body leaning against the railing as he twirled his cigar between his fingers. She knew he would be able to hear the conversation and she hoped he would understand that he would not be brought up once.

"I think i'll be working, but thank you."

Oh Elizabeth, working?

The dissapointment in the women's voice warmed her heart. She didn't know her overly well; she hadn't seen her since Sam's funeral, but Mary always called her on her birthday and Christmas, always made her feel welcomed ever since she was adopted by Sam.

"It's not that bad. I'll probably go out for drinks with a few friends or something afterwards," Lizzie replied, trying to sound enthusiastic.

I hope you do. I know you've been through a lot the past couple of years with Sam and your divorce, honey. I hope you're keeping happy and looking after yourself.

"I am. I promise."

Ah, here comes trouble. Lilah, Elizabeth's on the phone. Mary lowered her voice, Do you mind?

"No, of course not. Let me talk to her."

Hello?

"Hey Lilah sweetie. Remember me?"

Yes! You took me to the park with Hudson!

Lizzie chuckled, "Wow, you have a good memory!"

We both got rocky road icecream!

"Because no one else liked it and it was our favourite right?"

Mmhmm, do you know what i got to do today?

"No, what did you do?!"

Grandad and I built a snowman! It was HUGE! The biggest one ive ever seen. It was about as big as you know the door at grandpa and grandma's?

Lizzie didn't but she said yes anyway. "Really? That big?"

Yep!

"How did you get the nose on when it was so tall?"

I got to go on grandpa's shoulders!

"Wow, lucky you. I wish i could see it."

We took photos!

"I'll get your grandma to send me them," Lizzie replied. "Are you looking forward to santa coming, Lilah?"

Yes! I wrote my santa's list yesterday!

"What's on the top of your list?"

Umm..I think it was water guns!

Lizzie laughed, "That would be a cool present. Although probably best to use them in Summer, yeah?"

Or fill them up with warm water!

"Smart thinking, sweetie. Hey, Lilah, i'm going to have to go, do you think you could put your grandma back on?"

Okay, bye bye.

"Have a good Christmas, sweetie."

You too! OK bye!

Lizzie ended the call after promising to Mary that she would visit sometime soon. She tossed her phone on the couch, picked up her teacup, and went to join Red on the balcony.

Raymond let out an exasperated breath as he rolled over onto his back. He was tired but he couldn't sleep. Instead of staying and waking Lizzie up from all his tossing and turning, he silently slipped out of the bed in just his boxer shorts, and felt around in the dark until he found his blue, mohair jersey. He made it quietly out of the room and filled the kettle with water. Checking his watch, he sighed when it was only one in the morning. He shouldn't really make a coffee it would make it even more difficult to fall asleep. Letting the kettle boil away he disregarded the idea of a coffee and sat on the sofa to try clear his mind without caffeine or alcohol. His whiskey was in the kitchen but he didn't feel like drinking.

"You okay?" Lizzie's sleep-filled voice asked him as she padded over to the sofa next to his one and sat down. She stretched her sock covered feet onto his lap and gave him a tired smile.

Red immediately worked away on one foot, massaging it with his thumbs. "Why are you up?"

"I was cold but I couldn't find you," She replied.

Red smiled lovingly at her. "I'll find some extra blankets."

Lizzie flashed him a quick smile then nudged her foot gently against his thigh. "What's bothering you?"

"Lizzie," Red started, his hands swapping over to her right foot. He brushed his hands back and forth over the top of it. "I wanted to talk to you about something, but it wasn't my intention to discuss it at one in the morning."

She shrugged back to him, trying to remain relaxed, but a 'talk' always put her on edge. "Now is fine."

Red gave her a curt nod then ran his hand over the top of his head. He spoke slowly so he wouldn't have to repeat himself. His voice came out a lot more serious than he would have liked. he gave her foot a quick squeeze.

"How badly do you want to be a mother, Lizzie?" He asked curiously, his eyes narrowing as he watched her closely. Making sure to absorb every reaction of hers. She still looked sleepy and he wondered if he could have picked a possibly worse time to bring it up.

"Um-" Lizzie swallowed, her voice catching in her throat. "What?" She pulled her feet from his lap and leaned forward in her armchair.

"I don't want to upset you, I just want to- we need to talk about this at some point, Lizzie. You know that in my, in our life-my particular life choices.."

She shook her head quickly, stopping him from continuing. "It's fine. I completely understand. I get it, Red, I do. We can't and i'm ok with that."

"You would make a great mother," He said carefully, clearing his throat afterwards.

"You think?" Lizzie asked.

"I know it's not something easy to talk about, Lizzie, but I know you were excited to adopt a child with Tom."

"Sam adopted me." Lizzie replied calmly, her eyes never leaving his. "I don't know. I always thought it was a nice idea to maybe do the same." She smiled. Sam changed her life. He took her in, gave her a childhood, a life, and an undeniable amount of love. She wanted to do that.

"Sam did a brilliant job."

Lizzie gave him a comforting smile. "Red, you don't need to worry." She promised. "I understand fully the complications of bringing up a child with you... I'm not going to start badgering you about adopting or-" Her cheeks flushed. "I know it's not possible. Or if you would even want to but if it was, i know it's not, but-"

"I would." Red answered, his voice wavering as he swallowed the lump in his throat. "If I could, Lizzie, I would give you everything."

Lizzie breathed in a deep breath, smiling as she exhaled. "That's nice to know," she said quietly, nice to to know he would want to bring up a child with her if it was remotely possible. Just the thought was lovely. She left her chair to move in front of him and rested her hands on his knees. She leaned in and brushed her lips across his. "It's okay."

"In the future you might have a change of heart. I don't want you to resent this," He smiled, kissing her quickly back. "Or me."

Lizzie shook her head and dropped it on to his shoulder, she turned her nose towards his neck and nuzzled him gently. "I won't."

Red took a while to reply, enjoying her warmth. He turned his head, making her head lift up to face his. "You were right, Lizzie," He said, pulling her onto his lap. "All i could think of today was how you deserve someone who can give you the things in life that I can't. Danny was quite the match, and I found myself envious...jealous, and wishing I could offer you more."

Lizzie wriggled in his lap, curling her legs up against his chest. Her eyes narrowed slightly. "There's just one small problem with Danny and any other person that's not you."

"Hm?"

"I'm not and never will be in love with them."

"Sweetheart," Red smiled, cupping her rosy cheeks between his hands and brushing the pads of his thumbs across her cheeks bones. "I'm sorry."

She leaned into the warmth of his hands. "I want you." She wrapped her arm around his shoulders. "Everywhere i've been lately, I keep getting reminded. Tom and I were going to adopt a girl. I wanted a girl more than anything. Today at Bruce's house they had a nursery and it was beautiful, Red. That dress we saw the other day was beautiful. I get endless babywear catalogues in the mail, I see kids everyday when I go to the park," She smiled. "But when I was speaking to Lilah, I was looking at you," She smiled lightly, almost shyly. "And all I could think about was how much I love you. I love you so much. I don't care about anything else, okay? I just want you."