-1Disclaimer: Ranma ½ is not mine, it's Rumiko Takahashi's. So please, don't sue me.
Author note: Chapter 14, as we start the beginning of Cologne's bizarre revenge on Ranma. There may be a few surprises in store for you in this chapter, so watch out.
First I Giveth
Chapter 14 Sealed Manhood
By Marik Kurakashi
Mu Tsu, or Mousse as some of the backwards Japanese had called him when he told them his name, arrived at the abandon Chinese restaurant with Har as an escort. He had never really liked much about the brunette girl, but apparently, Elder Khu Lon had sent her to fetch him. What the old mummy wanted with him was beyond his reasoning, but he didn't really care.
Xian Pu, his only love, was somewhere out there in this mixed-up country. While he had no doubts of Xian's ability to defend herself, he simply wanted to find whoever had defeated her and pummel him within an inch of his life. The base villain who would defile such loveliness would meet the most brutal of ends, courtesy of the Master of Hidden Weapons.
That was the only thing he could do now, to make up for being kidnapped.
"So Mu Tsu," Har said as the long haired boy took a seat at an empty table. "I see you managed to avoid getting kidnapped again."
"And I see you're still in the Elder's doghouse." he retorted, ignoring the jab.
"How… how do you know that?" the girl demanded, flustered by his accurate guess.
"You're a warrior Har," he explained, not exactly looking at her because his glasses were off. "And you're used as an errand girl to find me, when the Elder would have done it herself if she "really wanted to talk to me"."
"So that's your reasoning? HA!" Har scoffed, coming over to get in his face. "What would a male like you know?"
"A lot more than you, idiotic girl." came Cologne's raspy voice as she entered the restaurant. "Nice to see you well, Mu Tsu."
"Old mummy," he said with a dismissive sniff, earning him a harsh glare.
"It is fortunate that I want you in good health, or else I would beat the tar out of you." the old mummy said back tersely. "But I have plans for he who beat Shampoo."
"You mean you know who he is!" the myopic boy shouted, standing up and glaring at Har, grabbing the front of her dress.
"Not me you idiot, put your glasses on!" Har shouted back, shirking away from him somewhat.
"Oh, it's you," Mousse said simply, before nonchalantly tossing her across the room. "So Elder, what plans do you have for this foul person?"
"Come with me to the back room, we have much to discuss as we wait for Shampoo's father to arrive." the Elder said, hopping towards said room, with Mousse following along.
"Gah, that jerk." Har mumbled, her face embedded in the wall. "He's lucky that didn't."
"Shampoo back." came a voice.
"Oh great, the bimbo's back." the wall planted girl groaned too loudly.
"BIMBO!" Shampoo screamed, pulling out one of her bonbori. "Who you calling bimbo?"
"You, you bimbo." Har replied, pulling herself out of the wall and turning to face Shampoo.
"Argh!" Shampoo shouted, charging the still disoriented girl and braining her on top of the head with her weapon. "If Shampoo bimbo, Haircare is queen of bimbos!" She accentuated her point by kicking the downed girl in the ribs, before storming off to the back.
"That… didn't… hurt…" Har wheezed, her face embedded in the floor.
- - -
After Ranma's near boiling alive, the Tendos had treated him as much as they could, before taking him to see the good Doctor Tofu. After managing to get Ranma's body temp down without him going into shock, Tofu sent them home to prevent them from worrying too much. As it were, he was simply waiting for Ranma to wake up and explain what happened.
Since none of the Tendos really saw the battle between the old lady and the Saotome heir, they couldn't tell him how Ranma got like this. He had a few theories, but nothing solid enough to tell the Tendos to allay their fears. He noted the particular concern of both Akane and Nabiki, as well as the peculiar absence of Genma.
Meanwhile, still on the front porch and forgotten about, Genma snored, still unconscious from the hit he took.
"What, what happened?" Ranma asked, sitting up from her place on the table.
"The Tendos brought you here after you fainted, Ranma." Tofu answered, looking over the girl for any burns or other injuries.
"I fainted… that old ghoul!" she cried, before looking over herself. "I-I'm not burned!"
"No, why would you be?" the doctor asked, curious at the girl's strange behavior.
"I thought she set me on fire!" Ranma exclaimed, "It felt like my flesh was a roaring inferno."
"Interesting," Tofu mused, rubbing his chin. "I think I know what happened."
"Yes Doc?" she asked hopefully.
"This must be the dreaded full body cat's tongue shiatsu point!" the doctor said dramatically, clenching his hand into a tight fist.
"Cat's tongue?" she asked, not comprehending it.
"The full body cat's tongue is a shiatsu point that renders the entire body sensitive to heat, like its name suggests." he said, shaking his head.
"And that means…" Ranma asked, fear dripping from her voice.
"That means, that all water that is warm enough to deactivate your curse will cause you to feel like it's boiling." the doctor answered, closing his eyes and hanging his head.
"You… you mean…" the redhead uttered bleakly.
"Yes, that until the cat's tongue is turned off, your manhood is effectively sealed away." Tofu said gravely.
Ranma, being the tough martial artist she is, promptly fainted dead away.
- - -
Meanwhile, up in the Hida Mountains, something evil was awakening. A terrifying ancient evil that had been sealed away long ago. The storm was ranging for hours, as if the heavens themselves were frightened by the terror this evil could unleash.
A stroke of lightning started the horrifying event. Soon, cracks ran all over the boulder that covered the cave opening. In mere seconds, the boulder crumbled to dust.
Then the evil was free!
From its former prison the evil crawled. Raising its head slightly, the evil took in the fresh air, slowly revitalizing himself. Soon, it drew itself to its feet and looked down from the mountain that held it captive for oh so long.
So much for it to do, that it couldn't decide what to do first. Slowly, the evil started its way down the mountain. As it went down, the evil tried to remember what happened to it. But all the remembering apparently caused the evil to feel drowsy.
And soon, it fell asleep again.
- - -
Back at the Tendo dojo, the family was busying themselves and waited fir Ranma to return from the doctor's. Kasumi was trying to keep her two sisters calm, as both seemed a bit agitated by all of this latest development. As the eldest sister poured some tea, the sound of the front door alerted them to someone's arrival.
"I'm home," Ranma called, sounding deflated.
"Ranma!" came the calls from within the house, soon followed by the stampeding of feet.
"Ranma! You're back!" Akane exclaimed, coming to a stop in front of the redhead.
"Are you okay now? What happened? What did Dr. Tofu say?" Nabiki asked rapid fire, resisting the urge to start shaking the girl in front of her.
"Whoa! Whoa! Slow down." Ranma said, waving her hands as if trying to fend off any more questions. "First off, I'm physically alright, secondly, I got hit with somethin' called the full body cat's tongue point."
"Cat's tongue?" Kasumi asked, leaning in herself to peer questioningly at the redhead.
"It's a shiatsu point. Makes my body super sensitive to heat." Ranma explained, slumping her shoulders.
"But if it make you super sensitive to heat…" Akane began, looking at her sisters in horror.
"Then you can't change back into a boy!" Nabiki finished, her own look of horror on her face.
"Yeah…" Ranma said bitterly, her posture slumping even more.
Silently, all three sisters nodded at each other, then quickly dragged the girl off to the living room for a bit of a talk about what to do. Soun, who had been standing, slumped against the wall, feeling extremely upset at what had happened to his future son-in-law. If he had thought about it, he would have mentioned meeting the old woman and warned Ranma of her.
Outside, a masked girl landed on the porch. Immediately, she took noticed of the bald man on the porch and quickly picked him up. Carrying his bulk with her, she quickly went over to the door and very gently knocked on the door.
"Who could that be?" Soun asked as he went to answer the door. Opening the door, he was greeted by a girl carrying Genma on her shoulders. "Ah, Saotome! I wondered where he disappeared to."
"Can come in? He heavy." the girl asked as politely as she could.
"Of course, of course, and let me take him off your hands." Soun said, allowing Shampoo into the house and taking his old friend off her hands.
"Where Ranma?" she asked, stretching her shoulders out.
"In the living room with the girls." he answered, before going past her and out to the dojo to put up his old friend.
Upon her arrival to the living room, Shampoo was greeted by the animated chatter as all four girls argued about what to do. Her eyes narrowed in rage, an accusation playing through her mind. Finally shaking her anger clear, she stalked into the room and got everyone's attention.
"Shampoo know what to do!" she shouted, halting the talking as everyone quickly looked over at her.
"S-Shampoo?" Ranma asked, looking at her strangely. "What's with that get-up?"
"Shampoo sneak here to tell Ranma important information. Disguise in case Haircare come looking." the now masked girl explained, coming over to sit down with them.
"So what do we do, aibo?" Nabiki asked, looking quickly from Ranma to Shampoo real fast.
"We do nothing, anego. However, Great-Grandmother decide have mercy on Ranma and allow him to try for Phoenix Pill." the purple haired girl said, looking around the circle.
"Phoenix pill?" Ranma asked, not comprehending.
"Well, the phoenix is a firebird, said to be the king of heat resistance." Akane explained, nodding along.
"So this pill…" Kasumi started, looking over at Ranma who was slowly comprehending what was going on.
"…will allow me to withstand hot water again!" Ranma finished, before impulsively giving Shampoo a friendly hug.
Both Akane and Nabiki fight down the urge to get mad at Ranma's sudden display of affection for Shampoo. After all, neither of them had curses that changed them from girls to boys. And they certainly couldn't comprehend being stuck forever in that foreign body.
"Thank you! Thank you!" Ranma said, nearly crying with joy before releasing Shampoo and quickly wiping her eyes to make sure she wasn't crying.
"Oh Ranma, I'm so happy for you!" Akane said, a big smile on her face.
"T-thanks Akane. That means a lot." the girl in question said, smiling brightly at the girl in question.
Akane kept the smile on her face, belying the internal turmoil as she felt slightly giddy at the response she had gotten.
"Don't forget to have a plan other than run to where the old woman is and start screaming for the pill." Nabiki added, trying hard not to sound like she was raining on the cursed boy's parade,
"Yeah, I suppose I better think this out," Ranma said, her smile not wavering even in the face of this news.
"Shall we get to planning then?" Kasumi asked, before she got up. "I'm sure a quick snack will help the planning."
"Thanks Kasumi," everyone chorused before they huddled up and started planning for Ranma's challenge.
- - -
"The Nekohaten?" Nabiki read aloud as she and Akane approached the Chinese restaurant as their plan called for.
"What a weird name," Akane said, nodding her head in agreement.
Both girls headed inside and were greeted by a brown hair girl who strikingly dissimilar to Shampoo.
"Hi, welcome to the Nekohaten." the girl said with false enthusiasm. 'Stupid Xian, sneaking off and leaving me to be the waitress.'
"Uh, hi. We were passing through and saw the offer for a free bowel of Ramen?" Nabiki said, making sure to remember what this girl looked like.
"Ah, yeah. Come have a seat and I'll bring it to you." Har said, gesturing towards an empty table.
Both Tendo sisters had a seat and waited for their bowls. Once she was sure no one was watching, Akane quickly went to the window and flashed a gesture out it. Afterwards she finished, simply hurried back to her seat so as to not draw any undue attention to herself.
'Alright, there's the signal.' Ranma said, approaching the Nekohaten and slipping in.
"Here's your ramen!" Har said, setting the bowls on the table, before handing over their chopsticks.
"Itadakimasu!" the girls chorused, digging in.
'Okay, just slip around here and maybe I can find that pill without having to fight that ghoul.' Ranma thought, trying her best to avoid being seen. 'Not that I'm afraid, but the girls have a point. If I fight her, she could easily dump hot water on me to get rid of me.'
"Hmm," Cologne said, looking out at the two girls in the lobby from the kitchen. 'Those girls look familiar, which means…'
'Ok, almost to the back, just a bit more now.' Ranma thought, creeping along further.
'The ex-groom is either wiser than I thought,' Cologne thought, looking off in the direction she now felt Ranma creeping along, before looking back at the girls. 'Or he has some very good help.'
'Alright, I made it.' Ranma thought jubilantly to herself, looking around. 'Now if I were a dried up mummy, where would I keep that pill when I'm not wearing it?'
"Very impressive, ex-groom." Cologne called, standing atop her cane in front another door into the back area. "I must admit that I thought you would come charging in here after Shampoo told you about the Phoenix Pill."
"H-how do you know that?" the redhead sputtered, eyeing the locket that hung from the old ghoul's neck.
"I figured she snuck out to tell when I was ready to open up the restaurant for a bit." Cologne answered, before laughing. "Though, I am happy she did, as I get to mess with that idiot Haircare some more."
"Haircare? You mean that waitress girl?" Ranma asked in confusion, scratching her head slightly. "Why do you keep her around if you don't like her?"
"Because while we do have a laws about killing, I will point out that most were from over three thousand years ago." the old ghoul said, not missing the implication that all Amazons were bloodthirsty killers.
"Oh." the redhead responded, awed somewhat by the magnitude of the Amazons' existence.
"I suppose you want this," Cologne said, raising the locket before jangling it a bit at Ranma.
"Grr," came the expected reply, before the girl did something unexpected by bowing slightly. "I bear you no ill will, but being stuck as this is punishment enough. Can you please not splash me with boiling water again?"
'Hmm, those girls must have coached him well for him to swallow his pride like this.' Cologne silently mused, before grinning. "I guess that won't hurt anything."
"Then here I come old ghoul!" Ranma shouted, rushing at the old woman, trying to snatch the locket.
And thus began a rather raucous scramble for the locket. No matter how hard Ranma tried, she just couldn't get the locket from the old woman. She tried her best to endure the hard cane strikes she was taking, but this body wasn't as durable as her male half.
"Toh!" Ranma called, throwing a hard right spin kick at the ghoul, trying to seize the pace of the fight so she could better predict her opponent's moves.
"Hah!" Cologne responded, flipping her staff into the attacking leg and stopping it cold.
"That won't stop me!" Ranma yelled, pressing her right leg against the staff and using it to push herself into position for a left roundhouse aimed at her foe's head.
"Useless!" the old woman yelled back, ducking the kick and allowing the girl to fly past out of control.
"Fat lot you know!" the girl retorted, stopping herself and bolting back at the old woman, hand stretched out to take the locket.
'She's fast!' the old woman silently exclaimed before falling all the way onto her back and jabbing Ranma hard in the ribs.
The redhead bounced of the ground, and lay still for a second before bounding back to her feet.
'I didn't notice it before, but she's unconsciously channeling wind ki.' Cologne thought warily, measuring her opponent. 'The wear out factor isn't as great as fire, so she should be able to do it longer. Maybe this plan of mine will bear a sweeter fruit than I had intended.'
"Not bad, old bag." Ranma huffed, rubbing her ribs. "But that isn't close to what you wanted to use."
"What are you babbling about, fool?" the old woman snapped, pushing everything else from her mind.
"You could've knocked me through the ceiling if you wanted to." the redhead explained, taking a few deep breaths. "I guess this shop is important to you."
"Mm, you could put it like that ex-groom." Cologne said neutrally. "Now come! I will never let you have this locket!"
"Your funeral granny!" the girl yelled back, taking a stance. "I'm taking that pill and there's nothing you can do about it!" Ranma once more rushed at her foe.
"We shall see, ex-groom!" Cologne retorted, dodging the rush and starting the dance once more.
- - -
"What's going on back there?" Har asked, turning to look in that direction and missing the concerned looks on her two "customers' " faces.
"It isn't any of my business." Nabiki said, draining the soup from her bowl, winking at her sister to show she didn't mean it.
"Yeah, we're just here for the noodles really." Akane said offhandedly, also turning her attention back to the bowl.
"Grr," Har snarled, storming towards the back. 'Glutinous outsiders, like a bunch of wild pigs in clothes.'
She only got the door open and her head part way through before she took a stray kick to the face and was send backwards.
"Gah!" she cried, clutching her face as she staggered backwards. 'What the hell was that?'
"It's taking Ranma too long," Nabiki whispered to Akane.
"Yeah, and that worries me." Akane whispered back, a pensive look on her face.
"Don't worry Akane, even if Ranma doesn't get it today, it doesn't mean he won't get it tomorrow." the older sister whispered, trying to allay her sibling's fears.
"You're right, I should have more faith." Akane whispered, looking away.
'She's gotten rather… moody as of late,' Nabiki observed, 'She's probably confused over my new found interest in Ranma.' Nabiki shook her head and looked back at the waitress trying to stand up straight.
"Whoever kicked me is dead!" she hissed, pulling her shotels from weapon space and going through the door again.
"Haircare?" the old ghoul asked, swatting away Ranma and looking at her less than intelligent apprentice.
"Out of the way Elder!" she said, approaching the struggling girl with her shotels. "It is my duty to be rid of outsiders who dare attack you."
"You, young whelp." Cologne replied before zipping forward and disarming her in the blink of an eye. "Who are you to lecture me on duty?"
"But Elder!" the part time waitress exclaimed, stamping her foot. "Why do you insist on dirtying your hands with a filthy dog like her!"
"Ha ha ha!" the old woman laughed, shaking her head.
"What's so funny?" Ranma asked confused that the old woman saved her. She finally climbed back to her feet.
"Consider the fact that both her parents are converted outsiders, and you'll see the humor." the old ghoul said, drawing an enraged look from the brown haired girl in question. "And the even bigger kicker is the fact that they were Japanese too!"
"Do you exist just to mock me!" Har screamed, clenching her fists together. "Why must that always hang over my head!"
"Because you let it bother you." Cologne answered back, "There's no point in teasing someone if they're not bother by the jab."
"This is all fascinating, but…" Ranma said, before zipping over to kick Har back out front without damaging the door. "…I'm here for the pill."
"Now that's the spirit ex-groom." Cologne said, taking a fighting stance. "Now where were we?"
"I was about to take that pill from you!" the redhead shouted, rushing at the old woman once again.
"In your dreams, sonny!" the old mummy retorted, swinging her staff to cut off the rush.
- - -
"That's how you want it," Har grumbled as she picked herself off the floor, bolting for the kitchen, quickly finding a pot and filling it with water. She then put it on the stove to get it to boil.
"I guess they took care of her." Nabiki commented on the waitress' furious movements.
"She doesn't look like she's up to any good." Akane added, nodding her head in assent to Nabiki's assessment.
"We better keep an eye on her then." Nabiki answered, looking towards the kitchen. "I think she may be boiling water."
"Oooo," Akane growled, clinching her fists. "She better not try anything like pour it on Ranma!"
"Indeed."
No sooner did they speak of Ranma did said girl come flying out of the back and landing 2 meters from them. Both girls resisted the urge to rush over to him, as they correctly guessed the old woman would be following the redhead. As Ranma struggled uselessly on the floor, Cologne covertly studied the two girls seated at the table.
'I see, they're trying not to show that they're helping him. If he has girls like these to help him, he just may do better for himself in future engagements.' Cologne thought, silently gleaning information on the two. 'By position and posture, the brunette is older, and by ki feel, they're sisters. Hmm, they match someone I've felt before.'
"Ha, let's see you do anything like that again after this!" Har shouted, charging out of the kitchen and around the counter with a pot of boiling water.
She raised the pot to dump it, but a bowl bounced off the side of her head.
"Nabiki!" Akane said in shock, looking at her sister in wonderment.
"Don't. you. Dare!" the named girl said through gritted teeth.
"N-Nabiki…" Ranma whispered, in amazement.
"Why you!" Har started, before a staff tipped the water over onto her. "Gah!"
"You be quiet." Cologne said, bashing the impudent girl in the face, sending her over the counter and into dreamland.
"Honored Elder," Nabiki said, drawing the old woman's attention. "It's apparent Ranma can't fight anymore, how about letting him go home and rest up for his try tomorrow?"
"Nabiki…" the girl on floor wheezed out, "I can… still… fight…"
"Mm, I see what you mean." Cologne said, turning her back to them. "I look forward to your challenges ex-groom. Don't disappoint me."
"Ah, sure." Ranma said, still trying to get up.
"Here, allow me." Nabiki said, dragging up into a sitting position, before crossing the girl's arms around her neck and hefting her up piggyback style. "Come on Akane, let's go home."
"I could carry him," Akane said tersely, storming ahead of her sister.
"What's her problem?" Ranma mumbled, trying to stay awake.
"Probably afraid that you'll fall in love with me for carrying you home." Nabiki joked, heading out the door. "Besides, I guess this can be training for me."
"Yeah… Hey, Nabiki?" Ranma asked as they headed back towards the dojo at a brisk pace.
"What?" Nabiki asked, humming a slight tune to herself.
"Thanks, for helping out back there." the redhead said faintly, before resting her head on the older girl's shoulder.
"Hey, what are friends for?" Nabiki asked back rhetorically, continuing humming as she continued walking.
'Friends,' Ranma thought with a frown, 'why does that make me feel kinda empty inside?'
End Chapter 14
Teaser for Chapter 15:
It was morning at the Tendo dojo, which usually meant a bustling of activity. This morning, however, was muted because Ranma was still recovering from the beating she had taken at the hands of Cologne the previous day.
"Good morning Ranma-chan," Kasumi greeted the redhead as she sat down shakily at the table.
"Morning Kasumi-san." Ranma muttered, looking slightly frayed.
"What's the matter boy?" Genma asked, having canceled the morning spar after a bit of "persuasion" by Soun.
"Tired is all." the girl said plainly, popping her neck nonchalantly. "I got wore out by that old bitty."
"Well, try to relax today Ranma. Tofu's already give you a note to stay home from school today." Soun put it, as Nabiki and Akane joined the table dressed for school.
"Don't worry Ranma," Nabiki said, looking at the frazzled redhead, "Akane and I will come up with a different plan for you today, one that will hopefully not get you pummeled into submission."
"Yeah, you just rest up and leave it to us for now." Akane added, staring at the redhead with a measured look.
Author note: Another chapter down, and so many more to come. Cologne gives Ranma a shot at the Phoenix Pill mainly because it gives her more opportunities to pound Ranma into submission, as you saw in this chapter. How will he trigger the neko-ken later? Well, THAT… is a secret. And you might wonder why Cologne hates Haircare so much? Because I don't want her becoming a Shampoo clone, where she does everything canon Shampoo does, minus the lusting after Ranma. Later.