"Puppy!" Reborn calls out, waving at the approaching man but not bothering to push off the wall he's leaning against. "I haven't seen you in so long."

Colonnello grins but quickly fakes a scowl as he comes to a stop in front of Reborn. "My name is not Puppy." The COMSUBIN soldier crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow. "I thought you got over that nickname while you were stroking the shaft of my rifle."

Reborn huffs in amusement at the crude insinuation, his hands back in his pockets. "Do you really want to start this with me?" he challenges.

Colonnello glances around the COMUBIN building's empty hallway and peeks at the closed door next to Reborn that leads to Lal's office (where she seems to be verbally tearing down a few recruits). Colonnello turns back to Reborn with a grin. "Do your worst."

Reborn does the perimeter check as well and then smirks. "Your gun was nice, but I've seen bigger."

"Yeah?" Colonnello scoffs. "I highly doubt that." He leans forward and stage whispers, "I'm the one with the anti-tank rifle. The one you can barely wrap your hands around."

Reborn shrugs dismissively. "I see so many these days they tend to blur together - well, everything apart from my gun," he admits, his voice dropping low. "I can't help playing with that one whenever I get the chance, and it just feels so nice when I grip it tight."

Colonnello chokes a bit on a startled snicker and has to clear his throat a few times, all of his will power focused on keeping a straight face.

"Do you need a time out?" Reborn asks innocently.

"No, no, I'm fine," Colonnello says quickly and straightens up again, his expression neutral. "I assure you, Reborn, my… gun would definitely satisfy you. Just try a round at the firing range."

"I don't think it would be appropriate to do that kind of thing in public," Reborn says coyly.

"No one would say anything," Colonnello coaxes. "It'll be fun."

"How fun?"

"Two meters of fun," the soldier whispers like a secret.

Reborn takes a deep breath to stop the laughter that wants to come out, his imagination conjuring up something that's two meters long. "Effective firing range?" he asks after he gets himself under control, a lustful undercurrent to his voice.

"How rude," Colonnello says in mock hurt, taking a step closer to Reborn. "Why don't you ask for the maximum range instead?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself," the hitman warns. "I've seen your shooting; you can't max out." He glances up and down the soldier's body. "Bit of an early trigger finger."

"Ouch," Colonnello winces, a hand coming up to clutch at his chest as he staggers back dramatically.

"And you're hauling around quite a bit of weight," Reborn continues.

"What's wrong?" the soldier drawls. "Can't handle a big gun?"

The hitman shrugs carelessly. "It looks cumbersome to carry around everywhere; I just can't seem to wrap my mouth around that." Reborn blinks. "I mean, my mind around that." He smirks. "Sorry, slip of the tongue."

"I bet it was," Colonnello agrees sarcastically.

"What do you bet?" Reborn shoots back. "Because I assure you, I'm a gentleman; I don't lie."

"I bet-"

Lal's office door is wrenched open and a crowd of shaking recruits rush out and sprint down the hallway. The leader herself exits then, brandishing her shotgun and a glare more potent than Death Heater poison.

She frowns in annoyance and then turns to Reborn. "Sorry about that, Reborn, I can't leave these idiots alone for a minute." Lal then glares at the other soldier. "And speaking of idiots… what are you doing here, Colonnello?"

"Discussing guns," the soldier blurts out quickly. "Right, Reborn?"

Reborn takes on a smug expression and turns to Lal. "He's definitely over you now. I mean you should have heard him flirting – he's desperate for me."

Colonnello splutters and flails his arms a bit. "Wait, Lal, he's lying to you!"

The COMSUBIN leader crosses her arms and scowls. "Is he really? You mean you didn't stop your practice to come and flirt with him?"

The soldier makes a distressed noise in the back of his throat. "Technically he's telling the truth – but you're the only one for me! I stopped practice to come and flirt with you!"

Lal only frowns harder. "I don't think you understand what you did wrong here. Perhaps some remedial training will help you keep your mind off useless things."

"No!" Colonnello wails and drops to his knees, hands together as he begs. "Please, Lal, he started it. I made one innuendo and then he challenged me and I couldn't stop myself from accepting!"

Lal jabs a finger down the hallway. "A thousand Suicide runs, soldier, now."

Colonnello groans in misery but gets to his feet. He mumbles a soft 'I love you, Lal' as he slinks away like a kicked puppy.

Lal turns back to Reborn after the soldier disappears around a corner, and her stern countenance falls away to reveal amusement. "Is this rivalry going to be a thing with you two?" Lal asks, wandering back into her office.

"It was just once," Reborn dismisses, following her inside. "Fon or Verde; those are the only two I would accept as arch nemeses."

"Neither of them are stupid enough to fall for your little tricks," Lal reminds him, searching through the files on her desk until she finds the right one to give Reborn.

"Not stupid enough, any more," Reborn corrects as he takes the hit request from her. "So what did this poor guy do to earn your hatred?"

"Tried to take my job from me," Lal says, not at all ashamed at asking Reborn to kill a fellow COMSUBIN soldier. "How much is this going to be?"

Reborn just blinks, still focused on the first half of her words. "You… are not a good person."

"I never said I was," Lal replies with a terrifying smile.

Reborn chuckles. "You know what? I'll do this free of charge. Consider it an early birthday present."

.

A/N: I'm thinking of stopping just after the Arcobaleno curse. Tsuna might pop up due to a Ten Year Bazooka malfunction, but don't get your hopes up.

Also, this is going to be a really long fic because I already have ten more chapters waiting that just need some editing. You're going to be sick of the Arcobaleno by the end of this.