Chapter 13 - Based on episode 317 "The Ember Island Players"

Author: Dragonkat

Disclaimer: Avatar the Last Airbender belongs to the gods of creation known as Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko. I'm just burrowing it all for a spell.

WC: 4,184

AN: I think this has been one of the faster updates. I actually had this chapter done about two weeks ago, but I had written it down first and I've been too lazy to type it all up. But here we are, it's here. Still unbetaed so there are probably some mistakes but hopefully not too many.

Also fyi, while I'm starting on the next chapter it might be a little while, and not really because of school, but the fact I'm trying to cover the entire series finale in one chapter. Ambitious I know but it's what I want to do. I'm going to work episode by epsiode until I'm done, although I'll most likely split the chapter up to post. We'll find out.

Thank you all for sticking with me through this very long, and very exhausting ride. I hope it's worth all of my amazing delays.

Warnings: Huge spoilers for the show, if you have not seen this episode don't read, because not only will I spoil it for you, you're going to be seriously lost.

Zuko trailed at the back of the group as they climbed the stairs to the balcony they had managed to get…he wasn't sure how they got it, since they had little money. But after the fiasco at the Boiling Rock, Zuko tended to not question Sokka's methods anymore.

They made it to the Balcony without many people looking too closely at them, but Zuko did have to pull his hood a little tighter over his head so hopefully he wasn't noticed. Katara glanced back at him as they filed into the two rows of benches that their balcony was composed of, jerking her head to tell him where to sit…between her and Aang. Zuko felt a little spur of anticipation bubble up inside of him at the idea of sitting close to Aang for a few hours. He tried to casually slip in before Aang sat down next to Katara, trying to keep his face neutral even though he wanted to grin at his cunning.

"Hey uh…I wanted to sit there," Aang said in disappointment.

Zuko didn't let the boy's tone bother him though…now that he had the determination in his heart he wasn't going to stop until he had Aang back in his arms. And with his past record of determination, there was no doubt he was going to get what he wants. "Just sit next to me. What's the big deal?"

"I was just…I wanted to…okay."

Zuko, though, did resist the urge to slip an arm around Aang's shoulder like Sokka was doing to Suki…one step at a time, can't be too eager, he didn't want to scare Aang off.

"I'm surprised your Dad didn't want to come, Sokka," Suki whispered behind them as people settled into their seats around and below them.

"Eh," Sokka said, stuffing some fire flakes into his mouth before gagging. "He said something like this was a 'young person' outing. Besides he's looking after Appa and Momo."

"I guess…"

Suki sounded like she wanted to say more but the lights in the auditorium dimmed and the curtain went up.

Let the show begin.

The lights dimmed for just a moment about midway in the first act as the stage hands changed the set. And then the next scene began…and Zuko knew intimately what scene this was about. The playwright had gotten his information wrong, not to mention that costume was much too exaggerated…but it still stirred his memory and heart.

"The Avatar is mine," the actor who played him shouted, raising his arms in triumph as the actress playing Aang was tied up on a pedestal. Even though he was not the one to capture Aang, it was Zhao, Zuko knew what would come next. It seemed even after all this time he had managed to keep his identity a secret even though Zhao had found him out.

"Wait who's coming?!"

Zuko felt a smile come to his face as the actor playing the Blue Spirit jumped out from the right side of the stage. "I am the Blue Spirit. The scourge of the Fire Nation, here to save the Avatar."

His smile grew as he watched the scene play out, closing his eyes as his heart brought his memories back to that clearing where everything changed and Zuko got his first taste of what his future should be. He could just taste Aang's skin on his tongue, the sweat on his neck and the warmth of his chest. His eyes opened when he heard the actress playing Aang shout out, "My hero!" Zuko almost laughed out at that, because there was an implication of love there…seemed the playwright had gotten something right at last in this ridiculous play. Zuko's heart fluttered and his cheeks flushed as he remembered the passion that their bodies had experienced after they had escaped.

"Eww…gross."

And then his heart froze as those words broke through his happy memories. Zuko slowly turned his head, just enough to look at Aang, seeing the disgust in his eyes and the minor sneer on his face. "Like that would ever happen," Aang muttered quietly that only Zuko heard.

Zuko jumped to his feet as the scene changed again, yanking his hood up onto his head and dashing from the balcony, not trusting his voice to give an excuse fore his abrubt departure, fearing he might cry which he was trying to stop himself from doing. The hallways were clear, for which he was thankful for as he briskly walked to the bathroom. Zuko shouldered the door open, almost falling inside.

He stumbled to a gold gilded sink, pulling a lever to let some water fill the basin after he plugged it. Zuko took deep, gulping breaths, almost panting. Zuko let out a shuddering breath when he saw his hands trembling as he dipped them into the water. He scooped up a handful, leaning down to press his burning face into the liquid, trying to wipe away the flush on his face and the tears in the corners of his eyes. He brought handful after handful of water up to his face, slowly getting his body under control, breathing slowing.

Zuko finally lifted his head, blinking as he stared at his reflection in the mirror above the sink. Even if he didn't feel it as vividly as he did, he could see on his face the realization that he wasn't going to get everything he wanted.

He wasn't going to have the future that he envisioned with Aang…it was hopeless.

Sokka gnawed on the jerky he had gotten for the first intermission, sitting next to Suki as he listened to his friends complain about their portrayals on the stage.

"Listen friends. It's obvious that the playwright did his research. I know it must hurt but what you're seeing up there is the truth."

Sokka snorted at Toph's words. The only reason the earth bender could say that so casually was because she hadn't shown up in the play yet. When that happened she wouldn't feel so sassy. He yanked off another piece of jerky with his teeth, chewing in frustration. Then he realized their group was one man down. "Hey where's Zuko," he asked, glancing around for the prince.

"I haven't seen him since he left in the middle of the first act," Aang spoke up.

Katara gave Sokka a worried glance, pleading, and he sighed as he got up, scratching his neck as he headed of towards the bathroom…maybe Zuko wasn't feeling well. Sokka didn't have to go that far though, because he found Zuko sitting on the floor around the corner from their balcony, hugging his knees in a little alcove two columns decorating the hallway made.

"Hey," Sokka called out, frowning when he got no response from the prince, not even a glance. "Um…is something wrong?"

Sokka took a seat next to Zuko, mirroring his position, even offering some of his jerky to try and cheer up the gloomy prince, but Zuko just waved it away.

"I realized," Zuko said after a while, voice raspy and he swallowed thickly to get rid of the sound. "I realized that…I can't ever have Aang the way I want to."

"What are you talking about? From my point of view you two have gotten pretty close recently."

"No Sokka, you don't get it. Even if, by some miracle, we get together it ever be as good as it could have been…because he doesn't remember. He was disgusted when he saw the implications that playwright made about him and the Blue Spirit. But that is our most precious memory, it's where we began. I'll never be truly happy with him unless he remembers. If we get together now…it'll be farce…it won't be real, because I'll remember and he won't. I might even start to blame him and we could end up hating one another…I could never bear that."

Sokka had no idea what to say to all of that…there probably wasn't anything he could say that would chase the dark thoughts from the prince's head. He just lifted an arm and wrapped it around Zuko's shoulders, patting his back, feeling his own heart break a little. "He could still remember some day," he offered.

"Maybe," but Zuko didn't sound like he believed it.

Suddenly the lights flickered, signaling it was time for them to return to their seats for the next act. Sokka helped Zuko up, steering him back to the balcony. "Come on, let this stupid play distract you. Toph will be showing up and I'm sure that casting will be hilarious," he said as upbeat as he could, bumping hips with Zuko playfully.

His friend gave a wary grin at that, and Sokka went on to complain about everything that was wrong but funny, trying to make it all a joke, watching that little grin grow.

"I have to admit Prince Zuko. I really find you attractive."

Aang frowned as he watched the scene unfold on the stage. It was a scene he wasn't familiar with, because he had been with Iroh at the time. And even though nearly every scene was a poor rendition of what had happened…he had to wonder how true this scene was. Katara and Zuko were very close, like they shared some big secret and maybe this was it.

He felt jealousy bubble in his heart, flaring to a burning feeling as the actress Katara denied any love for Aang and went for the actor Zuko. But as he watched, Aang felt his jealously directed more toward Katara than Zuko, like he was jealous she was holding on to the prince, and he wasn't…what the…?

Suddenly a body bumped against his own and Aang turned his attention away from the stage to look at the people next to him. Zuko was being pushed along the bench toward Aang by Katara. She had two hands pressing into his face and a foot on his stomach. Katara was staring at the stage with wide eyes chanting 'eww, eww, eww, eww' over and over as she shoved Zuko away from her. The prince was flailing his arms, trying to get her to stop, nearly being toppled over except for the fact that Aang sat next to him. The whole scene was playful but it proved that Katara didn't feel that way about Zuko…which was good.

"…besides, how could he ever find out about this."

But Aang was still jealous so he stood up in a huff, not caring that Zuko's skull thunked onto to the bench because he didn't have Aang's shoulder as support anymore against Katara's attacks. Sokka called out to him, something about food but Aang wasn't listening. He needed to get out of there.

Because he was scared to find out which way his jealously was truly pointing towards.

"Avatar State, yip yip."

Suki bit her lip as she watched the actress Aang being lifted into the air. She had only heard of this moment by rough description from a tight lipped Zuko, Katara was even more silent about it, even though they were the only ones who had lived through this moment and remembered. Although Suki could hazard a guess that both of them wished they didn't remember.

"Not if my lightning can't help it."

Actress Azula jumped up, 'bending' a lightning strike at Actress Aang. The mock Avatar shuddered as she held the ribbon to her chest, falling slowly to the stage below…dead. This was probably one of the few moments that playwright had accurate, judging by the way Zuko turned his head away from the scene, a grimace on his face. Katara's head was bowed and she clutched one of Zuko's hands tightly in her own, the appendages resting in her lap.

"The Avatar is no more."

The curtain closed on the Actresses, lights coming back on for the last intermission before the finale.

"I'm an elite warrior who's trained for many years in the art od stealth…I think I can get you in."

Zuko watched as Suki dragged a grinning Sokka off, the two of them disappearing down the corridor. Katara had left just moments before, mentioning something about going to find Aang. He was worried, anxious really. Aang had disappeared during that scene where there was an implication of romance between himself and Katara. He hoped Aang didn't take that at face value, or worst get jealous because he thought Zuko was trying to take Katara from him. Zuko's heart ached at the thought, still stinging from his earlier realization, but at this moment, he didn't really care what Aang thought anymore.

"Jeez, everyone's getting so upset about their characters. Even you seem more down than usual…and that's saying something," Toph spoke up from where she stood next to Zuko who sat with his back against a wall.

"You don't get it. It's different for you. You get a muscley version of yourself taking down ten bad guys at once and making sassy remarks."

"Yeah that's pretty great."

"But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life and shoves them back in my face. It shows me everything I should have done differently…shows me how royally I messed up…especially with Aang."

"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. For one thing, what happened between you and Aang was no one's fault but Azula's. And for another I don't think life is worth living unless you make mistakes and learn from them. You're a much stronger guy than you would have been if life had been perfect for you, because you've learned how to pick yourself up after you've fallen down."

"When did you get so insightful?"

"When I had some tea and a nice long conversation with your uncle. He's a pretty great guy."

"Yeah…he really is."

"So don't be so hard on yourself."

"Oka-OW! What was that for?"

"That's how I show affection."

Katara found Aang outside on one of the porches attached to the auditorium for play goers to go and get some fresh air. Aang's shoulders were hunched, and he looked defeated, and all she wanted to do was wrap him up in her arms and protect him from the cruelties of the world. He was just too young to deal with any of this.

Aang looked up at her after a few moments of him venting his frustration when she came to lean against the railing next to him. His eyes were so bright and confused in the moonlight, making him look younger and more fragile than he really was.

"Katara did you really mean what you said in there?"

"In where? What are you talking about?"

"On stage. When you said I was just like a brother to you and you didn't have feelings for me."

"I didn't say that. An actor said that."

"But it's true, isn't it‌. We kissed at the invasion and I thought we were going to be together but we're not."

"Aang…oh Aang you have it all wrong," she whispered, thoughts of Zuko swimming through her mind as they always did when the boy in front of her acted on the crush he had on Katara. "For one…you kissed me…I didn't kiss you back."

She didn't know what she was doing, she was treading very close to doing something she shouldn't do, but her heart right now ached for the prince back inside the auditorium, and right now she was thinking, she was just acting. Zuko was suffering, because Aang didn't remember, and she had tried everything to fix the situation. But she couldn't, and she was desperate to help.

"What are you saying Katara," Aang asked, looking so upset and vulnerable, but she had to do this, she had to explain to him it wasn't ever going to happen between them. She had to cut her ties to him so he might turn his attentions to where they belonged. It was now or never.

"I'm saying I don't love you the way you want me to Aang," she watched his face fall in anguish, but she had to make sure he understood without a doubt. "And you don't love me the way you think you do either."

"What are you talking about Katara?! I may be young but I know what love feels like."

"Yes…you do. But you don't feel it for me."

"What?! How do you know how I feel?!"

"Because I saw the way you looked at the person you really love, and you've never looked at me that way…you've just forgotten those feelings."

"…"

"What?"

"If you don't want to be with me just say so Katara. I'd rather not be insulted and have my heart broken anymore by you lying to me."

"Aang! I'm not lying, you really did forget…when Azula shot you-"

"Oh that's convenient. So tell me, who is this person I apparently love more than you. I'd love to know Katara."

"I…I can't tell you Aang."

"Right. Because she doesn't exist."

"He does exist, and you're very close to him already. You just don't realize how close."

"…Him?...Katara don't be stupid. Why would I fall for a boy? Just stop lying Katara, you've hurt me enough for tonight."

"Aang…I'm sorry."

"Sure you are. Now go away so I can be alone…again."

"It doesn't have to be this way Aang. You can still be happy if you go to him."

"Well that's kinda hard since I don't even know his name."

"…It's Zuko…you're in love with Zuko. I had hoped you would remember on your own or my bending could heal you. I promised myself I wouldn't interfere, but it hurts to see him so heartbroken."

"…"

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have said that. Just forget I said anything Aang."

Katara turned, feeling regret sink into her system as she left the porch, leaving behind a shocked and upset Aang. She had gone too far. She had just wanted to steer Aang away from her so he might realize what he already had, but things had gotten out of hand. She shouldn't have revealed all of that, because now it might push Aang completely away from Zuko instead of bringing him closer. Because the last look Katara saw in Aang's eyes before she left was fear.

She ran into Sokka when she got to the hallway leading to their balcony, her brother holding armfuls of food. He was looking rather smug while she just felt shell shocked. She could only imagine what Aang felt.

"Katara? What's wrong," her brother asked when he caught sight of her, his perky walk slowing.

"I…I messed up Sokka…"

Aang was shocked.

He still leant against the railing long after Katara had left, continuing to absorb the information. The third act had long since started, but he couldn't care. Aang already had enough drama in his life, thank you very much.

Zuko…it was surprising, almost unbelievable…but it did explain some things. Like how his heart almost stopped when the prince was in danger, and it even explained that dirty dream he had had a few nights ago. But it just didn't seem possible. He had no recollection of falling for Zuko, only Katara. And even now, while he really liked the prince and trusted him that didn't mean he was in love.

It was possible he was once in love with Zuko, because Katara seemed honest about it and she never lied to Aang. But right now he didn't remember and those feelings were gone.

Well he shouldn't dwell on this, it didn't matter. There was a war to worry about. With that thought in mind Aang left the porch he was on, trailing back inside to the balcony. When he got there Sokka was stretching as he stood up.

"I guess that's it," Sokka said. "The play's caught up to the present now."

Aang glanced at the stage where the lights were fading on the scene, their counterparts running off. Well even though he missed it, Aang's kinda glad he did, because he already had a lot on his mind, and watching himself as a woman wasn't going to help anyone, least of all Aang.

"Wait the play's not over," Suki spoke up, pulling Sokka back down beside her. Aang took a seat as well, next to his friend, staring at the back of Zuko's head instead of the stage where the new scene was beginning.

It was true he had a heightened awareness of Zuko, heck Aang's heart had stopped when he had watched the prince freefalling back at the Western Air Temple. He also liked Zuko, he was funny and a good teacher. And Aang trusted him. But that wasn't love…was it?"

Aang had realized right away when he felt Zuko's lips on his cheek that this was way different than when Katara kissed him. Aang felt strong and weak all at once, toes curling in anticipation and his belly tightening in…whatever this feeling was. He was only twelve years old, still unacquainted with the workings of his body so he could not find words to describe what was happening. All I know is that I don't want it to stop, Aang thought helplessly, feeling his own mouth start responding to the prince's demanding kiss.

Aang bit his lip, face scrunching up as the scar on his back twinged. It had a strange habit of hurting when he was trying to remember something that itched at the back of his mind. Maybe it had something to do with Zuko. Maybe it was whatever Katara had said he had forgotten. But his body didn't want him remembering for some reason, maybe because he shouldn't? But even so he wanted to remember, because know that he knew it was there Aang was insanely curious as to what it was.

Hakoda relaxed back onto the lounge chair he had found when he had been searching around the abandoned beach house. He wasn't snooping, just because he went through anything looking for some kind of leverage over the evil man did not mean he was snooping. He was just researching, yes that's right, he was researching. Always good to know his opponent. So now he was relaxing, staring up at the cloudless night and the vast multitude of stars as he waited for the kids to return from their play.

Appa was passed out next to him. Hakoda had spoiled the bison earlier with a hearty belly rub and now the beast was dreaming sweet dreams judging by the grin on his face. Momo had taken up residence on his head, curled up and napping. But that was alright. It kept his head warm.

He was dozing off just as the door to the patio area opened and six kids entered. They all looked a little down, trudging in. Hakoda sat up with a smile, catching Momo in his arms when the lemur fell from the perch on his head.

"So how was the play," he asked cheerfully, smile fading when he finally took in the looks on their face.

"It…wasn't a good play," Zuko muttered, walking by Hakoda and into the house.

Each of them walked by him in single file, all adding their two bits to how the play had gone.

"No kidding," his daughter huffed, agreeing with Zuko.

"Horrible," Suki, his son's girlfriend whispered.

"You said it," Toph said, following everyone else into the house.

His son stopped in front of him, nodding in agreement to what everyone had said but he turned to Hakoda, and gave a half shrug and a flip of his hand. "But the effects were decent," he said casually before following everyone else into the house.

Hakoda turned though when one member of their group didn't walk by and he found Aang, the young Avatar, staring after everyone. He had a very contemplative but confused look on his face, eyes dark as he slowly took off the hat he wore. Momo jumped from his arms to curl around Aang's neck and the monk gave a weak smile, scratching behind the lemur's ears.

"So what did you think of the play," Hakoda asked.

Aang didn't turn to look at him; instead he was looking up at the house. Hakoda followed his line of sight to a window, the room it lead to lit up from the inside. Zuko passed in front of the window for a moment before disappearing, the light in the room going out moments later. He frowned as he wondered why Aang was looking at the prince's room and he turned to look at the Avatar. Aang had a soft look on his face, though his eyes were distraught with confusion.

"It was…revealing," Aang whispered, finally looking at Hakoda, looking a little lost as he headed over to his bison, laying down and curling into Appa's soft fur.

Hakoda cocked his head, wondering what the Avatar meant by that statement…but it was late, and he wouldn't pursue it that night. Maybe in the morning. A new day's light always made things look clearer.

Review, review, review please.

Next time: The finale (either in one or two parts, we'll see). Aang's been told the truth, but will he ever remember that first moment in the clearing where he and Zuko consummated the relationship they hadn't had? Tune in to find out.

TTFN