Chapter Fourteen

Elphaba knew something was bugging Fiyero, but she didn't know what. Since Galinda's birthday, he'd been oddly quiet. Often they'd be having a conversation, but Fiyero would only be half listening. He was trying hard, too hard, to be himself. He wasn't even acting like he had been when he first arrived at Shiz.

He just seemed… like he was conflicted or waging a debate with himself. At first, Elphaba tried to ignore it. If Fiyero was trying to make a decision and he didn't want to tell her, it was none of her business. They may be dating, but they were still entitled to their privacy.

But the longer it went on, the harder it became to ignore. Finally, six days after Galinda's party, Elphaba decided she had to say something.

She was actually beginning to worry something was really wrong, perhaps back home in the Vinkus, or maybe he wasn't doing so well in a class and for once was thinking about his education and his future.

So, when they were leaving literature, Elphaba caught Fiyero's attention motioned for him to stay behind. She knew the classroom was empty now, and it would give them a chance to talk.

"What's up?" he asked her.

"You tell me. Fiyero, what's going on? You've been moodified for days now," she frowned.

Fiyero sighed. He'd been arguing with himself for days now, trying to convince himself that he wasn't in love with Elphaba after all; he'd merely been caught up in the moment. But the more he tried, the more he was sure and the more it scared him. He wasn't sure how long he'd been in love with her. When he'd decided to ask her out, had he loved her then? When he first saw her in the hospital, with her beautiful midnight hair flowing over the pillows?

He didn't know, and that terrified him.

And it had taken three days before he'd come to the conclusion about what to do with his revelation. There was just too much pressure now, much more than he could take. He wished now desperately that he'd taken Elphaba up on her initial offer of just friendship. It was much simpler, much easier. So, he'd decided to go back to that level.

He could cope with that, he decided. He'd still get to see Elphaba and be around her, because the idea of her not talking to him again, hurt a lot. But the pressure would be off. He wouldn't have to think about their future, and 'where was their relationship going?'

The last two days he'd been putting it off, because a little voice in his head (the same one that insisted he just tell Elphaba how he felt and move past it), kept pointing out that he had spent a month trying to get her to talk to him and almost a week trying to convince her to date him, and if he suddenly turned around and broke it off after three months… it would hurt her. Badly. And Fiyero didn't want that.

But now she was here, standing before him and demanding an answer. And Fiyero knew he couldn't put it off anymore. She wouldn't let him.

Fiyero put his bag down and sat on one of the tables, Elphaba watching him all the time.

"Fae, we need to talk," he began.

Elphaba may not have had a lot (or any) of previous relationship experience, but even she knew they weren't words one wanted to hear come from the mouth of their significant other, and that they rarely led to good news.

And even if she hadn't known that, Fiyero's low tone said it all and apprehensive face said it all.

"Oh," she said.

Then she slowly sat down and met Fiyero's gaze steadily, her face blank. "So, talk."

Fiyero cleared his throat. "Ok, look… Elphaba, I like you a lot, I really do. I'm kind of glad Avaric ran you over, so at least I could meet you. But… I think we should just be friends."

It was an old speech, said many a time, to many a girl. Of course, the line about Avaric was a specific modification for Elphaba, but he'd never meant it as much as he did now. Usually, he was just saying to placate a rejected girl, to stop her from… you know, stalking him (Sheona) or trying to stab him with a pencil (Amata)… okay, it was only a pencil but it was sharp and it hurt!

He wasn't sure how Elphaba would react, there were usually varying responses to the end of this speech.

Elphaba just sat there very quietly for a long moment. The only indication she gave that she'd heard what Fiyero had said was that her gaze dropped from his and moved to stare at a spot behind him.

"Ok," she said quietly and slowly.

Fiyero was surprised. That was it? Just "Ok"? This could end up being the simplest break up he'd ever had.

"Ok. So… Friends?" he offered.

Elphaba said nothing, so Fiyero was about to get up and leave, when she spoke.

"Why?"

Fiyero jumped slightly and saw she was meeting his gaze once more.

"Why?" he repeated.

"Why now?" she asked him. "You like me… but you don't want to date me. But it took you three months to decide that. So, why now?"

Fiyero hadn't prepared an answer for that, very few asked that question. And what could he say, the truth?

"I'm actually in love with you, but that idea scares the crap out of me, so I'd rather be friends"?

Yeah, he could see that going down well.

"It's nothing you did," he hastened to explain. "It's just… it's me."

Elphaba raised an eyebrow. "Really? 'It's not you, it's me?' That's original. Even I know cliché break up lines, Fiyero. And I can see through all your crap, remember? Don't I deserve to know why? Is- is there someone else?"

Fiyero was genuinely horrified by that idea. "No!" he exclaimed hastily. "No, there's no one else. It's just…"

He tried to decide what to say, that was close enough to the truth that she wouldn't spot it as a lie. Because she was right- she could see through his crap and always could. It was why they'd gotten off to such a bad start… besides the whole 'running her over' thing.

Unable to think of anything, he sighed. "Fae, it's nothing you did, okay? Can we please just leave it at that?"

"No. I'd really like to know," Elphaba replied stiffly.

"Elphaba-"

"Because the only thing I can think of, is that if it's not someone else, then you got sick of everyone on campus wondering why you're dating 'the Artichoke.' And don't pretend you don't know they do, because they hardly trouble to keep their voices down."

"Look, I just can't do it anymore, okay?" Fiyero blurted out, much louder than he'd intended.

Elphaba looked stunned, and Fiyero almost cringed away from the hurt expression in her eyes.

"I can't… I'm sorry. This isn't working," he moaned quietly, referring to his inability to find a way to explain this to her.

But Elphaba took the words differently. To her it made sense. He was after all, a scandalacious prince, and he'd made no secret that he'd never had a relationship that had lasted more than a month. Three months was almost an eternity for him. And now he wanted out.

"I- I have to go," she said abruptly, standing up.

Fiyero was worried about her, Elphaba was never one to give her emotions away if she didn't want to, and right now, he couldn't tell what she was feeling.

"Fae?"

"What?" she asked calmly.

Fiyero hesitated. "We'll still be friends, right?"

Elphaba looked at him for a long moment. "Sure," she agreed and then left the classroom.

She headed back to her dorm room, where Galinda was lying on her bed, reading a letter from her parents that had come in the mail that day.

"Hey, Elphie," she greeted her casually, then did a double take when she saw the odd expression on her friend's face.

"Elphie? Are you okay? What happened?"

Elphaba shrugged as she crossed over to her desk and began unpacking her book bag to do some work.

"Fiyero and I broke up."

Galinda dropped the letter immediately, and scrambled up into a sitting position, her expression one of complete shock.

"What? Elphie… are you serious? I mean, it's probably not as bad as you think it is. You'll make up, you both just need some time to cool off."

"We didn't have a fight, Galinda," Elphaba interrupted. "We just broke up."

She looked over at her roommate and was surprised to see tears welling up in her blue eyes.

"Galinda, are you crying?"

"This wasn't supposed to happen," Galinda explained in a slightly choked up voice. "You two were supposed to live happily ever after! You were supposed to get married after graduation, and have beautiful children and name me godmother, and become Queen of the Vinkus!"

Elphaba didn't know what to say to her best friend planning out her relationship future for her. She felt a sting of pain at the image Galinda painted and turned away.

"Who broke up with who?" Galinda demanded.

Elphaba sighed and sat down on her desk chair, facing her roommate. "He broke up with me," she answered.

"Oh, Elphie… I'm so sorry! Did he say why?"

"Just that he couldn't do it anymore, and it wasn't working."

"He couldn't do what anymore?" Galinda asked, mystified.

"Probably ignore the fact that I'm green," Elphaba retorted bluntly. "He's not the first. My father's hated me since birth and Nessa's been ashamed to acknowledge she's my sister since she realised being green wasn't normal. I'm surprised he lasted the three months he did, actually."

"Elphaba, you don't really believe he broke up with you because he's ashamed of you, do you?" Galinda gaped.

"Well, he said there was no one else, so what other possible reason is there?" Elphaba replied practically. "Either that, or I'm just not good enough for him."

Galinda wasn't buying Elphaba's cool and collected attitude for a moment, but knew she couldn't push her friend to confess how she was really feeling.

It was moments she was feeling most vulnerable that Elphaba pulled the walls around her in tighter.

"I'm really sorry, Elphaba," Galinda said softly.

Elphaba didn't want her apologies. "It's not a big deal. It's not like we were serious or anything," she shrugged it off. "And he still wants to be friends, so…"

Galinda nodded slowly. "Do you want anything? Ice-cream, comfort food?" she suggested.

"I just want to finish my History essay for Dr Dillamond," Elphaba replied, turning around to work.

"Ok. I'll leave you alone to work then," Galinda replied.

Galinda slipped on her shoes, grabbed her purse and left the room. And really, Fiyero should have not been surprised when he answered a knock on his door and found himself face to face with an angry Galinda Upland.

"What's up, Glin?" he asked and she narrowed her eyes.

"Don't 'what's up, Glin' me," she snapped. "You dumped Elphaba? How could you do that?"

Fiyero winced at her shrill tone, and gestured for her to enter his room, trying to avoid anyone hearing. She did so, fuming, and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Look Galinda, no offence, but this is really none of your business," Fiyero told her firmly.

"It is when you hurt my best friend," Galinda retorted. "Why would you do this? You spent ages convincing her to go out with you in the first place, and then you just dump her?"

"I didn't realise I'd locked into a contract when I asked her out," Fiyero replied sarcastically and Galinda glared at him.

"Galinda, I explained my reasons to Elphaba. If she chooses not to share them with you, I can't help you."

"Your reasons are crap!" she almost shrieked. "I can't do this anymore'? Do what anymore? What kind of reason is that? She thinks you're ashamed to go out with her because of her skin, or that she's not good enough for you."

Fiyero's mouth tightened, that was the last thing he wanted Elphaba to think. If anything, he wasn't good enough for her, but he wasn't going to say that to Galinda.

"I just don't want to be in a relationship," he said finally. "But I told her I still want to be friends."

Galinda stared at him in disbelief and then shook her head. "I can't believe I ever encouraged Elphie to go out with you. You spent a month trying to get her talk to you, and like, a week nagging her to go out with you! If I'd known you were going to turn around and decide that you can't be bothered to be in a relationship in a few months, I ever would have told her to give you a chance."

"There's no guarantee a relationship will last, Galinda," Fiyero reminded her. "People break up. It happens."

"Yeah, because you ended it. You may want to be friends with Elphie, Fiyero but if you care about her at all, even just as a friend, you'll give her some space the next few days. Whether she shows it or not, she's hurting."

Fiyero said nothing as Galinda let herself out of his room. He felt awful, because he knew Galinda's words were true. And he didn't want to hurt Elphaba, because of course he cared about her, he was in love with her! But there was no way to break up without someone getting hurt.

Sighing, he decided to go and check the mail, see if any had come for him from home. As he trudged down the stairs, he passed Teron, who was clutching his own mail in his hand.

"Hey, Fiyero- I heard you and Elphaba broke up."

Fiyero was startled. The news had spread that fast?

"How'd you know?" he asked.

Teron winced. "Er, Boq and I were in our room when Galinda turned up to talk to you. She's quite loud."

Fiyero sighed. "Yes. She is."

Teron smiled faintly. "Well, some of us are going to the OzDust tonight. Do you want to come? Have a few drinks, get your mind off things?"

Fiyero's first instinct was to refuse, he didn't feel like going out. But then he considered it. He was single now, and he could really use a drink or two to stop him from seeing Elphaba's hurt face every time he closed his eyes.

Besides, he was Fiyero Tiggular. He wasn't meant for relationships, and he definitely wasn't meant to spend a Friday night alone in his room like a loser.

"Sure," he agreed. "Around eight?"

Teron nodded and Fiyero waved as he continued on his way.

Tonight would be fun, he thought. He'd go out, have some fun. Maybe it was time to go back and dust of his 'Dancing Through Life' philosophy. Things had been so much easier when he'd lived by that, and stopped thinking so much and stopped feeling.

Fiyero purposely didn't let himself think about the reason he'd stopped following that philosophy.

That was a mistake. From now on, the old Fiyero was back. No thinking, no worrying. Just fun.