Chapter 14: Gravity Falls Pioneer Day
Stan was once again opening shop for the Mystery Shack, noticing that people were lingering in the woods.
He had thought they were tourists, but they were dressed oddly. He figured that maybe they were Amish, the women wearing a bonnet on their heads, while the men were wearing some kind of puffy shirt some kind of raccoon pelted hat. Then he started seeing more and more of them, even horse drawn carriages were seen.
"Did I secretly go back in time or somethin'?" Stan questions to himself, scratching his head underneath his fez. "Damn it, Poindexter, you and your weird experiments…"
The door opens, causing the bell chime to ring. Stan immediately goes and greets the people, them dressed up in the similar getup from the people in the woods. They looked at him oddly, as if he were the odd one out, which in a way he was.
"Welcome to the Mystery Shack, how can I help you?" Stan greets enthusiastically.
"Why aren't you celebrating?" one man asked, him gesturing to Stan's clothing. Stan was wearing his one dress shirt that he had sewn question marks to and his question mark decorated tie.
"Um… what?" Stan bluntly replies, him clearly confused.
The woman that was with him explained, "Today is Pioneer Day, this is the day we celebrate when Gravity Falls was founded." She then unfolds a poster and hands it to Stan. "We act like we are in 1863."
The man then adds, "You should come to the opening ceremony, Mr. Mystery."
Stan looked at the poster, it looking yellow with age. He honestly couldn't tell if it was done on purpose or if it was just a very old poster. He gives it back to the woman, doubt on his features.
"Probably won't make it… too busy holding down the fort here!" Stan states. There was no other person in the Shack besides the three of them, only the creaking of wood from the gentle breeze from outside. One of the racks that had t-shirts suddenly collapses. Crashing to the floor with a loud crash. "Okay, I'll be there."
He ended up closing early because there were absolutely no customers. Apparently in 1863 there were any tourist traps for people to waste their money at. He changes into a simple t-shirt as it was now summer, but he still wore a pair of dark pants with hiking boots. Stan walks into town, again not really using his car to save gas, and once he walked in he immediately regretted it.
Literally the first thing he saw was a small little wedding ceremony where a man was marrying a woodpecker. Stan gets a pamphlet with the synopsis of the town's history, and one of the first things it said was that it was once legal to marry a woodpecker. Stan raises a brown brow and walks away, him looking around seeing the candle making and people making cloth on looms.
A crowd gathered at a stage, so he went to the crowd to what was so important. A man with golden blonde hair stood there, waiting for the crowd to settle down, a short boy that looked no older than ten years old with dark blonde hair standing next to him, a woman with red looking hair sitting in a chair behind them. They all dressed in extremely glorified clothing of the old time period, the materials looking like it was more expensive then the money to set up this holiday.
"Good morning everyone!" the blonde man greeted, his voice deep and filled with an accent that Stan recognized as snotty and rich. "My name is Theodore Northwest, grandson of town founder Nathaniel Northwest, I see we have new people in the crowd so I'd figured I would introduce myself." Eyes then glance over to Stan, who shrugged, uncaring. "And to announce what today is all about, my young son Preston will do the honors."
The small boy gulped and he walked to the microphone, which a butler had lowered down for him since he was short. Preston looked nervous, his stormy grey eyes widening and looking at the crowd with a slight fear.
The kid is like ten years old… and that guy is forcing him to speak to a crowd?
"Um… hello…" the young boy, Preston, said into the microphone, his voice was high pitched still from not going through puberty and causing feedback on the mic, causing people to wince and cover their ears. Preston looked frightened and tried to take a step back, but was pushed forward by his father. "My name is Preston Northwest… and um, welcome to Pioneer Day… for events we have candle making, gold panning, butter turning, wood carving, and… and…" the young boy lost his train of thought, seeing something in the distance and his face lighting up like he wanted to go play, just like any normal kid.
"Preston," Stan could hear Theodore growl to his young son. "Finish up right now."
Preston's eyes widen and he clears his throat. "We also… have an area where you can learn the history of Gravity Falls…" The boy then whispers to his father, "Can I go play now?" There was a sharp shake of Theodore's head, causing Preston's face to look crestfallen.
Theodore then raises the microphone and says, "And that concludes the opening ceremony, enjoy Pioneer Day and remember that the Northwest family is richer than all of you combined!" Despite that insult many people still clapped and cheered.
As the group began to disband Stan had stood there looking at the family on stage. As someone walked by him he taps their shoulder. "Hey, what's the deal with them?" Stan asks.
"Oh, I forgot, you didn't eally go out much, Mr. Pines," the person he stopped commented. "They're the Northwest family, one of the richest families in the Pacific Northwest region, possibly one of the richest on the west coast." The person then explained.
"So… they just flaunt themselves?" Stan questions. He then looked at the young boy, who looked really sad and uncomfortable. "What about that kid?"
"Oh, Preston, he's actually a sweet kid, but he's a Northwest, so he's most likely going to end up just like Theodore and force his own kid into their lifestyle," the person tells him. He then walks away, leaving Stan still standing in the now empty area.
Stan then rolls his eyes as he was being glared at by the Northwest family, except the kid, and he walks away. He ended up walking by the small reading session of where someone was explaining the town history. So Stan stayed for a few, listening in, and trying to learn the culture, which was a lot easier to do then reading those difficult textbooks on machinery and all the science stuff Stanford had lying around.
People were surprised that Stan was there, making Stan think once again that his twin brother barely stepped outside of his house unless it was to get food or do his monster hunts. That was why he could phase into Stanford's life in this town so easily, they barely saw him, and since the two were twins and looked extremely similar despite being fraternal he wasn't easily recognized. No one noticed that Stan had the normal five fingers on each hand instead of Stanford's six, no one really questioned him about science since they don't really understand it and neither does Stan, and no one seemed to care that now the "laboratory" house in the woods turned into a tourist trap.
No one knows that I'm not Stanford… except that crazy McGucket… but it seems like no one pays him any mind so I should be good.
Stan bought a few of those homemade candles and even the butter, thinking that maybe he should give the community some sort of economic boost. He even bought one of those raccoon pelted hats, setting it right on top of his fez.
"Heh… hat hats…" he chuckles to himself.
People all around him were talking in the old timey ways, and some were laughing at their own terrible accents. The Northwest family was walking around, their heads high and mighty, all except Preston who looked toward the other kids with longing on wanting to play.
That kid is gonna be so damaged when he grows up…
Theodore Northwest then approaches Stan, his face twisted with a fake smile, and his wife's with just as equal fake smile. "Ah, so you're the scientist that lives in the woods, Stanford Pines." Theodore casually says.
"Uh, yeah, how do you do Mr. Fancy Pants." Stan says back, his voice gruff and annoyed sounding.
"I haven't seen you in about six years…" Theodore comments. "My business is what helped built your house, including that large basement to the point where we had to add an elevator."
Stan's heart pounds in his chest. Did this guy know what was down there? Did he know what Stanford was working on when he had built the portal?
"So, Mr. Pines," Theodore continues. "What exactly do you have down there?"
Stan blurted the first thing that popped into his head, "Storage area for all the excess merchandise I got for my gift shop."
Preston's eyes widen, him curious. "A gift shop!? I wanna see!" he shrieks excitedly.
"Preston no, you are not going to that hovel of a place." Theodore lowly says to his son. "I don't want you hanging with any riffraff."
"Riffraff?" Stan echoes, his tone turning callous and annoyed. "Riffraff!? Just because I'm not super rich like you, asshole? Sorry, I make my damn living, I don't need handouts or need any help! I made my own damn business, I didn't just get handed my job and life on a silver platter!"
Theodore narrows his eyes angrily, his wife taking a few steps back. Preston looked confused, as if he wasn't fully following the conversation.
"I suggest you watch your tone, Mr. Pines…" Theodore lowly threatens. "You don't know what you're dealing with."
Stan gives him a glare. "And you don't know what you're dealing with, pal." He growls threateningly. Stan had been to jail in three different countries, he had stolen many things, had to break out of someone trunk of their car because they were going to "take care of him" when he didn't pay any money back like he said he was going to.
Without another word the Northwest family walked away, the adults giving a huff while Preston waved goodbye behind his parents' backs. As Stan walked he read his little pamphlet again, reading that the whole thing was sponsored by the Northwest family and the money spent goes to them and barely any go to the town and the people that worked for the holiday.
"Oh… you son of a bitch!" Stan shouts, him crumpling the pamphlet and throwing it on the ground. "I HATE PIONEER DAY SCREW THIS!" he had already bought the candles and the hat though, so that couldn't be helped. He actually ended up going back to those stalls and giving the people extra money, and when they asked why he simply said it was a tip.
That night when he made it back home he put the candles on the kitchen table and threw the pelted hat in the corner, making his fez go lopsided. He took off his fez to reveal his brown hair, looking flat against his head from wearing it.
"Never again… stupid Pioneer Day… stupid Northwest family…" Stan grumbled as he took a beer out of the fridge. He pops the tab open and chugged half of the can in one swig. Stan couldn't believe people would act like that… they had all that money and it couldn't buy them good manners or common courtesy.
As he went into his bedroom he passed the mirror in the hallway, seeing himself with dark circles under his eyes from being tired. In a way he looked like Stanford when Stan had last saw him… extremely tired and running on caffeine and no sleep.
"I can see why you never went to those things, Ford…" he whispers to his reflection. "They're stupid and annoying."
With that he turned off the hallway lights and went into his room to settle for bed. Being in the sun had drained him of his energy and he couldn't possibly work on the portal.
Tomorrow after work I'll pull an all nighter on that damn thing…
A/N: Hey guys! So this is just my little take on why Stan could possible hate Pioneer Day. It's not the actual culture he doesn't like, it's the family that runs it. Also, I figured that Preston might have been nicer as a kid but got corrupted by his father.
So thank you guys again for reading! Now we got a little insight on what Stan has been doing while Ford and Layla have been running for their lives from Magum.
~Skye Hendersen~