Ok guys, VERY triggering chapter so I am not going to put a gun to your head forcing you to read it or anything. It is in 2 different POV starting with... Esme. Different.

Also, flashback is in italics. (Yes, I decided to introduce the flashback in this chapter). If you guys aren't a fan of triggering chapters or strong language, skip the flashback. It would still make sense, the flash backs would just explain a few things.

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight

Esme's POV

"S'up mum, what's for dinner?" Emmet blurted out as he walked into the kitchen.

"There will be a day when you come home from school and ask me how I am but for now, I shall stick with 'what's for dinner'" I hinted to him.

"How are you mum?" Emmett smiled at me.

"I'm fine honey, thanks for asking" I replied sarcastically.

"Good, what's for dinner?" He asked yet again and I laughed at him. Although he gave me a confused look in return, unsure at what was so funny.

"Whatever it is, make sure that it is super fattening. Alice's friend really needs weight gain" Edward shouted from the main room.

Oh yes, of course. Alice was bringing home a friend today. I was glad that she was actually making friends. At first, I was worried about her as her mood seemed too change when she first started school, looking rather sad and depressed and I was afraid that she wasn't fitting in well but lately, her energetic behaviour has returned and it was obvious that this specific friend did this to her which I really appreciated. Speaking of Alice and her friend, there was a knock on the door and a smile appeared on my face, knowing that it was them.

I walked up to the door and opened it and I was a little surprised at what I saw. There was a curly haired blond with a very skinny frame who of which appeared to be a male. I wasn't expecting Alice to be bringing home a boy and what was even more of a shock was that he seemed to be gripping her hand tightly. Alice never told me about being in a relationship and she doesn't keep things from me either. Maybe he's just a very close friend. Close friends tend to hold hands. At least in female friendships they do.

"Hey mum, this is Jasper" she introduced.

I noticed that this Jasper was a little tense and he was shaking a little; or is he shivering? I couldn't quite tell but it is a little cold outside.

"It's nice to meet you Jasper. Both of you come in; it looks like it's about to rain." I warned.

Alice walked in, pulling Jasper with her and he started to look around.

"Welcome to our home. Do you want me to show you around?" I asked him.

He seemed to look at Alice in desperation and then she smiled at him and turned to me.

"Actually mum, me and Jasper really need to get started on our biology work so I'll just show him to my room" she said, giving me a pleading expression.

I hated the idea of a boy in Alice's room. Doesn't every mother? But for some strange reason, this boy didn't seem to act like any other. He just seemed to be afraid. I had known Jasper no longer than two minutes but I can already tell that he is out of his comfort zone. He looked like the kind of child that every mother would want to hug until a smile would appear on his face. At the moment, clinging on to Alice seemed to be the closest he was to comfort and I really didn't want to destroy that so I just let it go.

"Alright, I will call you once dinner is ready. Jasper, are there any specific food's that you are allergic to or aren't very keen on?" I questioned so I knew if there was anything that I shouldn't cook.

He shook his head and then whispered. "Not hungry".

Looking at him, I could tell that he wasn't hungry very often.

"You may not be hungry now, but you certainly will a little later on" I informed him.

He looked back down at Alice, yet again with a desperate expression.

"Come on Jazz, maybe you should have a little of my mum's food. Her cooking is amazing" she encouraged. He looked away from her also, apparently finding the carpet interesting. He forcefully nodded and Alice smiled at me.

"Well, I guess I'll leave you guys to it. I'll make a start on dinner then" I told them and Alice turned around to lead Jasper upstairs to her room.

I walked into the kitchen to start preparing the food. I usually make my children healthy meals but as we have a guest tonight, I was making homemade pizza. One cheese and tomato and one pepperoni.

I spent the first 25 minutes preparing and making the base of the pizza and making the toppings look perfect and full of flavour. Just as I put both of the pizzas in the oven, I heard footsteps walk in to the kitchen. I turned around to see Alice.

"You're leaving your friend by himself?" I questioned her.

"No, Jasper just needs a few minutes" she said plainly.

"A few minutes?"

"He's on the verge of having a panic attack and he just wants me to leave him for a few minutes. He's currently locked himself in the bathroom."

Alice said this with no worry, like it was a normal thing. I guess he is a lot more nervous than I first thought.

"What triggered it?" I asked her and she shrugged at me sadly.

"Is he always like that?" I questioned.

"Jasper's a little... different. You have to be extremely careful around him. He's really delicate" she warned.

It's not often when you describe a male as being delicate but after viewing Jasper, I believed her. He really wasn't your average boy.

"So why you? He seems to see you as his shield" I told her.

"Oh that. That is very new. He started off avoiding me and shutting me out like he does with everyone else but I suppose he just realised that I cared about him. Nobody else seems to" she replied sadly.

I heard the sound of keys going through the door and then my husband, Carlisle walked into the house.

"Hello Carlisle. How was work?" I asked as he found me in the kitchen.

"It was ok" he answered and then looked at me, confused. "Pizza?" he questioned.

"Oh yes, we have a guest. Alice brought a friend over. A male friend" I turned to Alice at the last bit.

"Ok mum, like I said before. Jasper's too delicate so the chances of a relationship is zero. We're nothing more than friends" Alice informed.

"Wait a minute, Jasper?"Carlisle questioned. "Jasper's here?"

"You know him?" I asked a little confused.

"Yes. It's that boy that me and Alice brought back here just over a week ago and ended up sending to the hospital" Carlisle explained.

So that's why I recognised him. I didn't get a good look at him that night. I only caught a glimpse of his blond locks and his shaken up thin body. I had to keep the other kids occupied while Carlisle was giving him medical attention. Carlisle said that he didn't want the others near him because he was so shy and hated the attention. And then I realised that this was the same boy that Carlisle grew overly concerned about for the past week

"So that's him?" I double checked and Alice nodded at me.

"How is he?" Carlisle asked Alice worriedly.

"He's fine dad" Alice reassured as she rolled her eyes at him.

"Maybe I should see how his ribs are healing" Carlisle thought.

It made me wonder why Carlisle was worried for this specific child. He was a doctor and every patient was important to him but it was Jasper that frustrated him. All Carlisle did tell me was that 'he doubts that the boy is being treated the way he should'. He was probably sugar coating it as he knows how I feel about badly treated children. That's why me and Carlisle adopted the ones that were desperately in need of love and care and now they're almost adults in their late teens with a happy life.

"Woah, no way dad, it will freak him out. Can't it wait?" she pleaded.

Carlisle sighed at her and looked at me.

"He does look a little nervous" I admitted.

"Alright" he nodded.

Jasper POV

I didn't like it here. Why did I even go? Oh right, to hang around with Alice a little longer. She was safe. As long as I'm near her, nothing will happen to me. Nobody will hurt me, touch me. I shivered at the thought. I couldn't keep focused. I kept seeing him. The images, the memories. They weren't going away. I tried to push them to the back of my head but they kept coming back at me full force.

"Jazz?"

I looked at Alice and she was looking at my hands as they struggled to write. I saw that they were violently shaking again so I pulled my long sleeves over them to keep them hidden.

"I'm fine" I mumble as I continued to write out my biology course work.

"No you're not. You're not comfortable here are you?" she asked with concern.

I'm not comfortable anywhere. I didn't answer her but I continued to write.

"We can cut it short if you want. I can tell my mum that you didn't want to stay too long and that you had somewhere to be" she offered.

I shook my head at her. If I leave, I'll be on my own again. I needed her. She'll protect me. She'll keep me safe. I didn't want to go. Jesus, what was this girl doing to me?

I am pinned down on the bed, on my stomach. I am just 9 years of age, too young to beat the strength of my father who was painfully inserting himself into me. I screamed in agony and tears fall from my face. My father hates a coward. He moves faster, punishing me for the noise.

"Jazz, you're doing it again. You keep zoning out on me. What's going on?" Alice asked.

I looked at her, thankful that I was back in the present.

It still happens in the present, I'm just older with no excuse for my weakness. I'm sick. I let it happen. I'm so sick and filthy. If Alice ever finds out, she'll help me kill myself. She wouldn't want to hang around with me. She'll say its incest. She'll say that I deserve all the pain that I'm going through. She will think I'm gay. I guess my father was raising me as one. He said that girls always end up doing something wrong and hurt you. They all do. Just like mother did to him. As long as Alice doesn't find out, she won't hurt me in any way.

"Jasper please say something" she said.

Her voice made me flinch. What the hell? Seriously Whitlock, what the fuck is wrong with you? If you keep making yourself look like a freak, she won't come near you anymore. Then who will protect you?

"I, er..." I was unsure of what I should say but I didn't want to speak because I was doing my best to keep my breathing under control.

I couldn't have another panic attack in front of her so I rushed out of the door and when into their bathroom, locking the door behind me. I sunk down wrapping my arms around my legs with my chin resting on my knees. I took a few deep breaths as I heard Alice sit by the other side of the door.

"Jazz?"

"I'm fine" I mumbled.

"That's what you said earlier" she stated.

"Just need a few minutes. Need to erm... calm a little" I reassured her.

"Ok, Jasper. I understand. I'll give you some time" she said sweetly and I was sure that I heard her walk away.

Walk away. My mother walked away.

7 years old and to me, my life was normal. I was just sitting at the table with my colouring pencils, drawing pictures although I couldn't concentrate properly. I looked up to see my mother and father arguing.

"I can't believe the whore you're turning into! Look at yourself you disgusting piece of shit" my father yelled at her.

"You can't blame me for doing what I did. You stopped loving me years ago!" she screamed back.

"And I'm glad I did, you cheating bitch!" he yelled.

"Mummy, daddy please stop!" I cried. I had never heard them argue before and this seemed like a bad one.

I didn't understand the term 'cheating' back then. Only when somebody doesn't follow the rules of the game but I knew that wasn't it.

"Shut up you little brat. You're not even supposed to be here. You were the biggest mistake me and your mother ever made" he shouted angrily at me.

"How could you say such a thing to him?" my mother said.

"Don't tell me what to do you slut" my father shouted at her.

"I am absolutely sick of this language. Jasper come here, were leaving" my mother stated.

"Oh no you're not" he said as he stood by the door. "Jasper, get here now" he demanded.

I started to get a little scared. My father had never said anything cruel to me and now he was shouting. He was just angry. He'll apologise once he calms down, I reassured myself.

"NOW!" he screamed.

I quickly rushed over to him and as soon as I was close enough, he lifted me up by my shirt and pinned me to the wall with a knife at my neck.

"Sit the fuck down or I will slit his throat" he threatened deeply.

"Please don't" my mother cried.

At that, the knife was touching my throat enough to make it bleed a little and I cried a little more.

"I said do it" he demanded.

My mother hurried to the sofa and my father used one hand to wrap around my waist and the other still held the knife at me neck.

"You aren't leaving with him" my father said calmly. "You can either stay and be with him and go with the safer option, or get the fuck out of my house leaving this cunt behind. Now before you make your choice, I'll give you a little preview of Jasper's life without his mummy"

At that he carried me to the other sofa and laid me there and then turned back to my mother.

"You move, and I'll cut him" he warned her.

He turned back to me and started to take my clothes off.

"Daddy what are you doing?" I asked confused as he removed my shirt.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" My mother screamed in realisation in what he was doing.

She started to get up from the sofa but from that movement, my father grabbed the knife and made a 4 inch diagonal cut across my stomach.

"I told you not to move" he yelled and she sat back down crying.

He then removed my trousers. And then my pants. I felt cold and extremely confused now. Whatever he was planning on doing, he had never done it before. That's when he started to touch me down there.

"Daddy?" I questioned. I was very unsure if this was normal or not.

"Shut up" he demanded and I obeyed him and let him continue whatever it was he was doing.

"Please stop. He didn't do anything wrong" my mother begged.

My father grabbed the knife again and made a cut just below my waist. Just above the area he was touching earlier. I screamed out in pain again.

"Daddy please stop" I begged.

Blood was falling heavily from both of my cuts and I started to feel dizzy. My father started to unzip his jeans and pulled out something that I was sure I wasn't supposed to be seeing so I looked away. He grabbed my hair and shoved it in my face.

"Open your fucking mouth" he ordered.

I did so as I didn't want him cutting me again. He inserted himself into my mouth and was pulling my hair backwards and forwards over and over again. His hips started to copy the movement and I heard my mother cry behind me. He seemed to be doing this for a while until I felt something strange in my mouth and it made me choke. After that, he released my hair and pushed my naked body back on the sofa and turned to my mother.

"You still wanna leave? Because I could do that all day everyday to him. He's a natural." He joked sickly.

Actually, I suppose he wasn't joking. He did start to do it to me every day because I had no idea what he was doing was wrong. It was my first sex education lesson at school when I first got suspicious and ever since, he beats me until I'm too weak to fight it and now he inserts himself inside me at least once a week and touches me sexually almost every day. He even forces me to touch him sexually but the only thing that goes through my mind is 'she left'.

My mother left me with him. She chose a new life without me rather than one with me. Who am I kidding? I am Jasper Whitlock. The kid that nobody takes notice of. The kid that is full of filth. The kid that deserves the pain my father gives me. The worst part is my mother didn't even go to the police to tell them about him. My father moved house as soon as she left. From Texas to this shithole called Forks.

I lowered the waistband of my trousers a little to view the scar that my father did to me 10 years ago. I just felt a few tears full from my eyes. Oh great. So now here I am, 17 years old and I'm crying. Why am I such a coward? What would Alice think of me if she saw me in this state? I need to man up. I need to take the pain.

Take the pain

I remembered that I still have my pocket knife in my pocket. I pulled it out and pressed down over the old scar and reopened it. Just a little reminder of the day when I turned into a sick freak. It really hurt but I did my best to ignore it. I moved on to my wrist but before I pressed the sharp object into my skin, I stopped to think. Why the fuck was I cutting myself in somebody house? It just didn't feel right. I chose to stop and leave it until I get home. I put the knife back in my pocket and sighed at myself. Why were all these memories coming back to me? This was the same flashback that I had when I was walking with Alice not so long ago. What was happening to me?

I put some tissue over the fresh injury hoping that the blood would stop pouring soon. Alice might get suspicious. Speaking of Alice I could hear her sit by the door again.

"Are you Ok Jazz?" She asked quietly.

I removed the tissue from my waist and flushed it down the toilet and washed my face so that there were no obvious signs that I had been crying. After I dried my face I opened the door and Alice stood up.

"I'm alright" I reassured her and forced a smile.

She didn't look convinced.

"My mum has made homemade pizza and had just finished cooking it. Will you be Ok to sit at the table with the others?" she asked.

No. I would not be Ok. Her biggest brother literally gives me the shakes. His size scares me as well as his loud voice. Her smaller brother keeps giving me weird looks and makes me feel uncomfortable and the sister? I am not too keen on her either. There is something about that girl. It's like she has me all figured out and I was worried that maybe, just maybe she knew exactly what was going on. Alice's dad only suspected the physical abuse. Which brings me to the biggest problem. Carlisle. He knows who I am. He called social services and he is too suspicious for my liking.

"It would really help with your social skills" Alice pointed out.

I couldn't care less about me social skills. They aren't good for a reason.

"I'll sit with you" she tried again.

I couldn't say no to that. I guess Alice is worth the risk.

"Stay with me" I whispered uncomfortably.

She smiled and took my hand in hers. I loved it when she did that. I have never felt physical contact so comforting other than when Alice touches my hand. It's like a safety rope pulling me away from danger.

She's my angel taking me away from hell.

So a little inside with Jasper there. I just want to confirm with you guys that it was the second flash back (7 year old Jasper) that happened walking to the house with Alice. It just kinda repeated in the bathroom.

This Chapter was a lot longer than I thought (MY LONGEST CHAPTER EVER!) so I'm happy about that because you reviewers really deserve it. Also, Because I'm in such a rush in updating, I haven't had a read through so excuse any mistakes if there are any. I will corrected them as soon as possible. I am not sure when I will be updating again but maybe the amount of reviews will help me make up my mind (hint hint).