Have you ever been hopelessly in love?

Rose

When all guests had left Oscar had come by my room and told me Papa wanted to see me in the office. He led me there stopping outside. I was about to go in when he stopped me and took me in his arms and hugged me tight.

I could feel the tears wanting to well up, to explode. I closed my eyes and used whatever power I had left to hold it in.

Pulling back Oscar looked down on my face with a serious face, he moved some strands behind my ear. "Don't be too hard on him, you papa only wants to help"

Nodding, I didn't meet his gaze. I knocked, hearing a faint "Come in" Before I opened the door. Closing it behind me as I turned around I took my papa in. He was sitting in his big chair, resting his elbow on the arm rest, his face in his hand massaging his tempels.

Not making a move, I just stared at him. He looked very tired and worn. I knew it had to do with me, I hadn't been very easy to deal with lately.

"Sit" he sighed. I noticed the almost empty glass of Whiskey on his desk.

Without a word I sat down. Silence hung heavy in the room for a few minutes. I look up noticing his gaze is fixed on me. I open my mouth to say something, anything, but I can't bring myself to know what to say.

He sighs before he starts talking, "I know you've had a tough couple of weeks and I have hated seeing every second of it" I didn't meet his gaze. "I have given you time to fix this yourself, I didn't want to interfere. But" he stopped exhaling, "I don't really know what else to do?"

Looking up I meet his gaze trying to figure out what he's saying.

"I have given it a lot of thought, it's only a suggestion, you know I would never force you into anything, ever"

My gaze never waver from his, "I think you should give Mason a real chance" he says. My eyes narrow slightly as I wait for him to continue, "When i say chance I mean, give him your all, see what he could give you"

I bit the insides on my cheeks I already know what he's trying to say. "You mean marriage" I say. It's not a question, more of a statement. My voice is raspy, it's still trying to heal after all the screaming I did the other night.

My eyes drops to the floor, I can feel tears filling my eyes and I try holding it in by biting my lip. Papa get out of his chair and kneels in front of me taking my hands in his. "My dear dear girl" He says with a lot of emotion in his voice.

I shake my head closing my eyes before he can say anything. "Don't" I say sniffling drying my nose. "I" exhaling I meet his gaze, "I thought time was suppose to heal me, but I-" Looking down again, "I haven't really done much healing"

Knowing what my father was proposing I knew what it meant. I knew I could never feel for Mason what I already felt for Dimitri. Hopefully I could love him one day, maybe not in the same way but love is better than unhappy love.

Meeting his gaze I nod, "I'll do it"

A small spark of hope lit up his eyes, "You will accept if he asks?"

I nodded again. "Has he?"

A small smile grew on his lips nodding, "He sent me a letter a while ago. I told him I was waiting for your reply"

Forcing a small smile on my lips, "Tell him I say yes"

"I promise that I will make you the happiest woman alive Rose"

A smile grew onto my lips as Mason was on his knee in front of me. He opened the blue satin box. I bit my lower lip with a smile on my lip. It was a yellow gold band, a ruby in the center with a halo of diamonds around it. It was a beautiful ring, very beautiful, but it wasn't what I had always imagined. I always wanted an emerald.

I shook my head getting my negative thoughts out of my head.

"It's beautiful Mason" I murmured.

He grinned, "I thought, roses are red and your name his Rose" he said sheepishly.

It was so cheesy. I forced my smile bigger, "You think of everything"

Slowly sliding the finger onto my finger, he got up taking both his hands in mine. "Thank you" he smiled sweetly, "You don't understand how happy this made me"

"Me too" I said with a small smile.

Applause came from the Balcony as Papa and Oscar were watching us. "Congratulations!" Papa shouted happily, "Champagne for the newly engaged couple" He yelled. A trolley was rolled out in the garden and we all cheered and smiled as the occasion was happy. I was now engaged, something I have dreamt of since I was little.

The thing was, it didn't feel at all like I'd hoped.

Looking down at my ring I sighed. It's been almost a month now since the news broke out about our engagement. We got plenty of letters from countries around the world wishing us well for our future. Mason had moved in living in a separate floor. Papa and Oscar had kept him busy teaching him about the do's and don'ts but also what is expected in the future. He studied a lot and he really did his best to fit in.

Papa gave me several jobs as well. I did several visits around the country, big anniversaries for different estates and events. It was fun and a good way of keeping busy and as far away from my mind as possible.

It was easier, life was busier and it was nice that I wasn't alone anymore. I liked Mason, so very much. I cherished and appreciated everything that he did for me. I think I could love him one day. I hope I could.

"Done"

Looking up I could see Tasha looking at in the mirror. I gave her an apologetic smile for being lost in my thoughts. Taking in my look I smiled, she was a working genius. She had put my hair up in a loose fit big bun and the crown of my head. No strands falling down, they were all pinned up, but it looked very elegant. I was wearing my mamas old crowns. It was very detailed with several swirls and some rubies as well as diamonds.

My make up was very simple, a soft red lip and only a few layers of mascara. I kept everything simple these days.

"Amazing" I smiled.

"As always" she grinned and gave me a wink. A small smile painted my lips, she was one of the few people these days that could actually make me laugh. I use to laugh all the time, a smile use to be permanent on my lips. Only small smiles made their way to my lips these days.

It was like Tasha could hear what I was thinking as she said,

"I miss your smile"

Meeting her gaze I sighed and my smile actually grew, "Me too"

She gave me a sad look, "He's not treating you bad is he?"

Shaking my head quickly I swallowed, "No, no, god no!" Exhaling, looking down a my hands, "He is one of the kindest men I have ever met. He always pays me compliments and makes sure I'm always comfortable. I just…"

"Don't love him?" Tasha finished.

I breathed a chuckle under my breath and nodded, "It's like you know what I'm thinking"

Her smile grew, "It's what friends do"

Nodding I looked at my reflection again. We were for a short visit in Sweden. Their crown prince was getting married, we're good friends, never anything romantic what so ever. He was a very kind and good man! I haven't seen him in quite a while so I was excited we were here.

This would be the first big event that Mason and I would attend as an engaged couple. All of the men were very excited. Papa, Oscar and Mason had been together all day exploring the city. They had trained him in the different ethics that happened had a wedding. About speeches and ceremonies. I think both papa and Oscar enjoyed greatly to teach Mason all these things. It made me happy to see them all so excited. I just wish I could feel the excitement with them.

It's like I've gone numb to emotions after that night. Images flashed in front of my eyes. Dimitri yelling and me throwing things and crying. I felt my hands go cold and my chin falling my chest as a soft sob rip through my chest.

Blinking I feel a tear run down my cheek. Tasha suddenly appears and moves her arms around my shoulders, trying to hug me without ruining her masterpiece.

"It's so silly" I sniffled "I don't want to feel like this" I said with tears in my eyes.

"I know" Tasha mumbled. "I know"

"I'm sick and tired of being so weak" I groaned as I knew I was ruining my make up, "Sorry" I said trying to fix it. She moved my hands away with a small smile on her lips. I was probably only making it worse.

"It takes time, as long as you keep trying" Tasha said as she took the powder and dabbed it under my eyes after she'd dried them. She brought out the mascara, I nodded taking a deep breath to calm myself.

"Are you ready to put the dress on?"

I nodded forcing a smile on my lips. Getting up I undid my robe. I was wearing a corset dress that Tasha laced up earlier. Stepping into the dress, Tasha pulled it up and did up the buttons at the back. It was a red sleeveless dress, fitted around my bust and hugging my waist and hips. It floated into a cloud of red fabric. The skirt had volume and was very traditional princess dress.

To break it off, Tasha had found a gorgeous sleeveless long vest I wore with it. It was the same length like the dress, it was made of a delicate transparent red fabric that had hundreds of small sparkly stones sown onto it. I was wearing a pair of plain diamond studs and a this gold chain with a little diamond at the front. It use to be my mothers. Papa gave it to me the day after I got engaged. He said he had long waited for her to wear it and he hoped I would never take it off.

I was wearing my ring as well of course. Matching my dress and everything. The wedding ceremony at the church was starting within the hour and we needed to leave soon.

Tasha was making some finishing touches as there was a knock on the door. "Come in" I said as I knew Tasha was busy and I couldn't move away from her.

Mason's face popped in followed by Oscar and Eddie. They were all smiles, all of them looking impeccably dressed.

Mason was dressed in all black. Oscar had a similar uniform but with a marine blue jacket and I figured my papa was wearing his signature Red or black as usual.

"You look all very dashing" I smiled looking over my shoulder.

"Nothing compared to you" Oscar winked and I rolled my eyes. Mason stepped forward kissing the corner of my mouth before eyeing me up and down, "You're breathtaking"

I smiled, "Thank you"

"How do I look?" He asked holding his hands out studying himself.

"Like a prince" I smiled warmly. He grinned his boyish grin.

"Oh c'mon, no romancing while I'm in the room" Oscar said with fake disgust lacing his voice. I laughed outright and rolled my eyes.

"Are you ready?" Mason smiled.

"One moment" Tasha said as she did some finishing touches on my lips and hair. "Done" She smiled taking a step back. "You're an absolute dream"

"All because of you" I smiled. Mason offered me his arm and I took it. I knew he was very excited for our first even together. To be honest I think it was the manly side of him wanted to show the world that he had won the heart of one of the biggest monarchs in Europe.

Who wouldn't want to do that? I was trying my hardest to be my best with him, to give him my all. He did make things so much easier, he was so caring and sweet. I had long wondered what was wrong with me? Why couldn't I love him? Why was it so hard?

Because he wasn't Dimitri.

Any thoughts are welcome, what do you think Rose will do now?

xxx