Author's Note That You Must Read Because I Say So: Ok, here is your Fourteenth Chapter. I just want to thank everyone for reviewing, and for reading this, and for not flaming me. Really, I haven't got one flame! Though I wouldn't mind, it would actually be kinda funny.
Anyway, on to the reason that I wanted you to read this note….I still need more people for the survey. Really, it's super short. Like reaaalllllly short…..as short as….never mind, just take it.
Alright, I'll stop boring you and let you read.
(Much love to the Captain!)
Disclaimer: If you haven't been reading my disclaimer...then I guess I need to tell you that I don't own Harry Potter. Because it's pretty obvious that if I did own ol'Harry, I wouldn't be writing for a fanfiction website….I would be working on a time machine that spans the reality gap so roundabout wickedness, Marmalade Fever, bwitched, and I can go find Captain Jack Sparrow. Thank roundabout wickedness for that time machine idea. Anyway, to quote her… "I don't think the captain would mind very muchly if we shared him. In fact, he'd probably prefer."
Oh well….another dream…sob….down the drain.
Chapter Fourteen: Where The Best Arguement You'll Find Is In Your Mind, We Find That Some Thoughts Are Better Left Unsaid, and Hermione Decides To Forgo A Trip To The Lake And A Visit To The Giant Squid; Asking Her
Hermione stretched as tossed the blankets off her. It was 5:30….her usual time….and instead of getting ready for classes….she got ready to spend time with Ron and Harry. 'Today will be the last time I see them…" she said biting her lip while turning off her light.
She was about to exit the room when a familiar drawl stopped her. She rolled her eyes as, under her breath, she recited with Malfoy; "Off to see Potty and Weasel again?"
She snickered. "You know that you're really predictable."
He looked aghast. "What? I am not predictable…..I just like the familiarity of my words."
"Oh, we all know how much you like your own words, Malfoy. Sometimes we can't get you to shut up." she snorted.
Malfoy sniffed. "Fine, I won't ask you then."
That caught her attention. "What were you going to ask me?" she said, ears perking up.
"No, no, you hath been rude to me…I don't think I shall tell you." He sniffed melodramatically and turned around, arms crossed.
Hermione sighed, exasperated. "Drop the melodrama….what did you want?"
"Fine…" he said quietly, turning around.
Oh Merlin, as if those puppy eyes couldn't get any bigger, heck I would be falling for-HOLD UP A MINUTE! Now what did I just think?
That you thought his eyes were cute.
No I didn't, I said the puppy eyes were cute. There's a big difference, you know.
But they are his eyes.
I don't even remember saying cute.
But you said falling.
I was kidding. I meant falling as in landing on the floor…like I slipped on a banana peel.
Uh-huh…just admit it, you think his eyes are cute…
No I—wait, why am I arguing with myself? Is this even possible.
Apparently.
Shut-up and let me see what he wants.
Draco at this moment was wondering if he should call for Madame Pompfry. Granger seemed to be making threatening gestures at the air. And now that he though about it, he could hear her muttering things like "Banana peel" and "Shut-up," but then she turned back to him, and said in a voice even Longbottom could have recognized as stressed and fake, she asked;
"What can I do for you, Malfoy?"
Good Merlin, she even flashed a fake smile. But now to turn on the "humble machine." Draco coughed nervously and looked at the ground. "I…well…I…I…I need your help." He said quietly.
"Huh? Speak up, I can't hear you."
"Isaidineedyourhelp…." He said hurriedly, and looked down, shamefaced at the floor. Of course this was all fake. The smile, the cough, the rushing….except the needing help part. He defiantly needed help. Interpret that as you like.
"Help with what?" she said suspiciously. But he could tell, and excuse me for starting a sentence with a conjunction, that she was falling for it. He could tell that she wanted to know how she could help…bloody Gryffindors can't resist…..and that she believed every lying sniffle.
Oh, bravo, m'boy. You got even the standoffish-cold Granger to fall for you, said a small, sneaky voice in his head.
Excuse me?
That's right, you turned on the charm. The suave. The pinch of dashing.
WHAT? That is not, and emphasis on the not, what I wanted. I needed help to bring about her demise. As my mind, you should know that!
Riiiight….but you know, you could have asked Snape for suckers. Ever think of that?
But this is more evil.
So is forcing a first year to get it for you. Don't be shy. What you wanted was to spend time with her…ooooohhhhh….alllooonnne...
No, no, no…and no! That is not what I ever, ever, in a gazillion years…and yes I said gazillion years…would want.
Well I think your times up. I think that the gazillion years has looooonnnngggg passed, leaving you in the dust and seeing little dancing Hermiones around your head. Little Hermiones throwing about frilly pink hearts and wearing a little red dress.
Gross…..and your bloody nuts. Your mad. Your insane. And you do not reflect me or my thoughts, because if you did, then that would mean I was insane, and that I fancied Granger…which, by the way, I don't.
You do.
I don't.
You do.
Don't.
Do.
Don't.
Do too….and you can't un-prove me.
Oh really? Can my fist un-prove you?
My dear, dear, Draco…that would result in you punching your own mind silly. And if I recall, your mind resides in your head. Unless you want to end up with a concussion, I think that would not be wise. Besides, we wouldn't want you to mess up your gorgeous face, now would we?
Fine. But shut up. I'm trying to get what I want!
And thats Granger…..
"Squid..…you bloody nut…I want giant squid suckers! #$!&!"
Oops…he said that last part out loud.
Hermione blinked several times. Then she rubbed her eyes and shook her head out. "Were you just…did I just hear…?" Did I just see him…muttering under his breath? And what the hell was that last part about…squid?'
"What the bloody hell did you say Malfoy? Giant squid?"
"Errr…noooo…I said "Kidd….you kid…you muddy klutz….And not try and kidd blockers…."
"What the dickens?"
"Err…today at practice….Blaise….umm…was trying to kid us…he tried to fake out the blockers….err defenders…whatever….and I told him he must be kidding. You had to be there, it was pathetic. Really, the worst feint I had ever seen. And he landing in the mud….you know…muddy klutz. So….what did you want?"
"Actually I was trying to figure out what you wanted…" I'm pretty sure that wasn't what he said...at least,I think so. But I haven't been one to concentrate on Malfoy's prattle...
"Oh right…" he turned back on the puppy eyes, "I would like to know if…you could help me with…homework."
Hermione burst out laughing. She could barely talk for gasping for breath. "The…the g…great Malfoy….wants…wants to have h…help from….from the Mudblood?" she held her side. "That's…that's too good to…to….to pass up!" Finally, she collapsed on the couch, clutching her side and giggling.
Draco found this all tedious. First…his own mind argues with him, then he shouts out his own thought….and then Granger starts to laugh at him. This day wasn't fair!
Disgruntled, her flopped down next to her. "I don't see what's so funny."
She wiped her eyes. "You…just you...the arrogant little prick…the insolent, impertinent brat….the despicable…horrible….prat….."
"I think we got the point…"
"…prat…wants to ask the Mudblood he loves to torture…for homework help…because he can't do it himself! Oh, this is rich! Rich…rich...rich, rich, rich, rich, rich…richy rich…I swear, if you keep this up Malfoy, I will have more gold than you."
"That's not possible…I have way too much." Then he sniffed, and said "So will you help me?"
"Well…what do you need help on?"
"A potions project…'
"And…?"
"I need to collect a material…but I don't know how…."
"And what is it?"
"Well….its…" and he told her in a quiet voice like they do on shows and such, so that the audience can't hear…and this is where i tell you to go to my profile and take my survey because for all you non-Author's-Note-readers, you might not be informed...ehhhem!...and then we return back to Hermione, where the character usually goes….
"WHAT?"
"…yeah…."
'You want me to pull the bloody suckers off a squid?'
"A giant one…"
"Thanks for the commentary…"
"Well…now you see why I need help."
"No, that's not it…its…I can do this…really, I would of thought you would know this…I'm mad because you want me to bodily…physically pull the suckers off. Really, that's beneath me."
"And not many things are…."
Draco earned a resounding thwack on the head for that last comment. Still rubbing his sore cranium, he listened to Granger lecture on about something or other.
"..and so that's why the S section…or the B…can be helpful in the library…especially when looking for this…now….about pulling off the suckers…what you need, as instructed on page 224, paragraph 19…that to get the suckers off a giant squid….You merely need to ask…."
"Ask what?"
"Ask the squid, idiot."
"Well SO-ORY! for not realizing that I had to walk up to a freaking giant squid and say 'Excuse me sir, but may I have five suckers from your tentacle?' Really, I should have thought off that."
Apparently the girl didn't hear, because she resumed talking. Draco shook his head and wondering if this was going to work.
"….but I need to mention one thing…'
"What?"
"If your not polite enough…Mister Hippogriph Slandering And Then It Hurt My Arm And I Blamed Hagrid And The Animal Even Though It Was My Own Fault For Being A Prat……it will maim you. Really, it will. So there you have it…no you can go off to the lake and ask for your suckers…I have some quality time to spend with Harry and Ron now…" Granger got up and walked towards the door.
"Your not coming with me?"
"Uhhh…no?"
"But…but…what happens if I'm not polite enough?"
'Then I guess my year will get a little brighter…" and she left before Draco could figure out what she had said. After two minutes of pondering, he shouted at the portrait "HEY!"
But alas, she was long gone.
Yes, isn't sad that she's gone, Draco. And to think, you wanted her to come with you to the lake.
No, I did not. You bumbling, stupid….gaaah!
Now, now, don't hurt yourself. Then you wont be able to pine away at the thought of Hermione leaving you for…gasp!...Weasley.
Excuse me…but we both know that 1) I do not pine away …even for a girl….especially not Granger….and 2) We both know that Weasel doesn't stand a chance against me, so if it so happened that I liked her…or she liked me….that she would chose me over Weasel in a heartbeat.
Well then, I'll guess you won't lose sleep. Now all you have to do is ask her out…because as you said, she can't refuse you…
Why can't I just shoot you…
Eh….eh-heh….because that would be dangerous.
Author's Note: Oh dear…oh dear, oh dear…someone's getting violent.
Anyway, I think this is the longest chapter I have written, and I have but four things to say to you.
SURVEY! (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, I suggest you read the note up top.
REVIEW! And you get a toasty, yummy, sticky, sweet cinnamon bun.
Sorry for being completly neurotic and hectic about this survey thing, but so far I have only TWO responses from the survey. So really, try and bear me for a bit.
I LOVE CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!
Arrivederci, amici.