Chapter 14

I was making my way back to my bedroom after me and Rayne sat up talking. It had gotten pretty late and I was ready for bed. I walked into my room and closed the door behind me. I was surprised to see I wasn't alone.

"You need something?" I asked coldly.

He just stared at me "So I hear Matt is going to be your date for your party."

"Were you listening to me and your sister?" I didn't like the thought of him ease dropping.

He completely ignored my question "So is he?"

"What does it matter to you?" I was started to get a little pissed.

In a flash he was standing in front of me "I was just asking a simple question all you had to do was give me a yes or no answer."

"Well I have a question for you" I could play this little game to "Is it true that you was going to take the cure and live out the rest of your life as a human with Elena?"

I don't know why I said what I did and I don't think Damon expected me to say it either because he looked like someone had staked him. I knew it wasn't any of my business but that's what I was trying to get across to him, him asking about Matt was not his business either.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that. I was just trying to get the point across that asking about Matt was none of your business, just like me asking about Elena." I finally said after a long silence.

"Actually I don't mind talking about her" He surprised me with his answer "To answer your question, yes I did plan on taking to cure to live a human life with her, but now that's not an option."

"I feel like such an ass" I told him as I went and sat on the bed. "I shouldn't have brought her up, it's not my place."

Damon sat next to me "Actually it kind of felt good talking about her, I think the only thing that has helped to not think about her laying in that box was watching you."

"Well that don't sound weird or anything" I joked trying to get the weirdness out of the room.

"Sorry what I meant was being away from Mystic Falls when I was on my mission to protect you it kept my mind away from her." He rephrased.

"Well I'm glad I could help" Not thinking about what I was doing, I smacked his upper leg softly and for some reason my hand lingered on his leg. It was almost like I couldn't move my hand, I kept yelling at my brain to move my hand but it wasn't cooperating.

I could feel my heart racing and when Damon placed his hand on top of mine I started feeling short of breath. I turned my head just enough to see his face, he obviously knew exactly how I was feeling right now I just wished the same were true for me, I had no idea how he was feeling. We sat staring into each other's eyes for far too long but still I was not expecting what happened next. Damon went in to kiss me and when he did my brain finally woke up.

I jumped up off the bed "You need to go."

I couldn't believe I had the strength to stop it where I had, Damon looked so confused.

"This can't happen" I said almost inaudible.

I heard an "I'm sorry" as Damon left my room.

I stood there staring at the door for a little while, I wasn't really sure why maybe thinking he may come back. Finally I made my way back to my bed and laid down. I fell asleep immediately. I had one of the most inappropriate dreams I have ever had that night and when I woke up the next morning I was drenched in sweat and by looking at my bed I moved around a lot. I cursed under my breath hoping that I hadn't made any noises because living in a house full of vampires, nothing is ever really private.

When I finally got the nerve to leave my room I was happy to find that I was home alone. I knew that Damon and I would have to talk about what happened but I figured it would be best to give it a day or two to let our emotions calm down.

I decided I would practice some on my own today, Bonnie said it would be better to try on my own as well, it would help master it. So I decided I would make a game out of it, I would make myself a sandwich using telekinesis. I sat in one of the chairs at the bar and started to concentrate. I started off with a plate, which happen to be the scariest thing since it was glass but once I got the plate out of the cabinet and on the counter I was relieved. Next was the bread then I was on to the fridge, I got the meats and cheese out. I had everything made now I would just have to bring the plate and sandwich to me. I breathed deeply then started moving it I had it about an inch from the bar when my thoughts were interrupted.

"Is that for me?" Said a voice that I really wasn't prepared to hear at that moment.

I lost concentration and the sandwich fell, it would have hit the ground if Damon wouldn't have caught it.

"Damn you, I almost had it" I shouted at him.

"Here" He slid it across the bar.

I was trying not to make eye contact but it was hard since I could tell he was staring.

"Do you need something?" I finally said.

"Nope just thought I'd ask how you slept last night." By Damon's tone I knew he knew exactly how I slept.

I looked up at him and he was smiling at me.

"I slept good thanks for asking" Figured I could be a smart ass as well.

"Oh I bet you slept better than just good, you sounded like you were having a good ol' time" I knew Damon didn't mean anything by his remark but it pissed me off.

I got up and started walking back to my room, but he was in front of me stopping me from moving.

"I'm sorry I know I'm an ass" He apologized.

He put each hand on each of my arms. I tried to shake him off but he wouldn't budge.

"You need to stop" I finally couldn't help it anymore "You can't keep doing things like this."

"Like what?" He asked.

"Anything, you know how I feel around you Damon" I let it all out "I know you've known since the first day we met that there was something between us, this is something I need to go away and it never will if you keep doing things like that."

His response threw me "Why does it need to go away, why can't we just explore this?"

"Why would I want to do that?" I asked him seriously.

"Why wouldn't you?" He obviously didn't understand.

"Because Damon to you I would never be your priority, it will always be Elena" I said a little harsher than I meant to. "We would never be able to have anything real."

"I disagree about the real part" He paused "because I know the way I feel about you is real."

"The feelings may be real but it'll never compare to the way you feel about her" I sighed.

"Why does it have to? Why couldn't we just spend our time together and not worry about what will happen in 60 years?" He pressed.

"Because it may not be 60 years Damon, have you thought about that? It's Bonnies life that's connected to hers, she is prone to death haven't you realized that yet?" I really hoped he understood this time.

"But then again it could be the full 60 or 70 years, you can't be certain it'll be any earlier" He argued.

"It doesn't matter, I won't put myself in that kind of situation, there is a possibility that it could happen that's all that matters" I looked at him sadly "You need to see it from my perspective, how could I be in a relationship with you, fall in love with you but always know in the back of my mind that you would never be able to love me the same."

I looked at Damon one more time before I took initiative and walked out of the room. It didn't matter what he said to me, he wouldn't change my mind about this.