New chapter. It kinda looks like not many people are interested in this story. That's a shame. Cos I'm actually quite happy with it. But oh well, I guess that it's cos people don't dig the ship. I can understand that. I'm gonna keep writing anyway because I'm still having much fun with it =) Or do you think this whole thing is stupid? Please let me know then! Cos then I don't need to bother uploading it here when nobody cares anyway. (No, I'm not talking about you antonhornacek and all the other few regular reviewers, I appreciate your input very much!)
This is a pretty long chapter this time. And a bit too bitchy, I know. But it's all part of a greater concept and I'm gonna resolve the Conphy issue very soon, maybe even in the next chapter, it's still all build up, there's gonna be more Connaryl, more action whenever they leave Woodbury, the survivor group will make another appearance sooner or later, so please be patient, please hang in there, don't give up on me just yet. I also promise that I'm not gonna make Daryl too girly. He's gonna get some more action and tough shit soon. And he's kinda hard for me to write now? Please remember that this is my first real shippy story, so I might screw this up. Sorry about that. Hope that at least some of you are still reading this. I'm also pretty content and sure that this is going to be the last story of this series. Five is enough. It's getting old and boring otherwise. I know it lost its magic after Damni. Anyway, here we go!
Absolution
Chapter 14- Plans
Just like the countless times before Connor was actually the first to wake up. He'd slept a bit better this time, not just because the thing with Daryl had pretty much exhausted him and calmed him down yesterday, but also because he didn't have to worry about Murphy for once. Because he wasn't gone or missing or in pain or mad at him, no, they had actually gone to bed in peace. And he was waking up like that now, too. Calm. Peaceful. It even made him smile.
He woke up to the feeling of some warm weight on his chest and around his waist. He didn't open his eyes just yet. For a moment he actually enjoyed the feel of this, the embrace, the steady rising and falling of a chest against his own. It was the most beautiful thing he could ever feel. And it just made him smile even more, he even felt a bit of a lump in his throat because it made him so incredibly happy. Connor slowly and tiredly opened his eyes to really see it, to let the sight of it sink in and bury it deep in his memory.
12 months. That's how long he had spent thinking that this chest would never rise or fall again, that this body would never draw another breath. But it was doing just that. The long, slow inhale. Pause. Exhale. Slow inhale. Pause. Exhale. Repeat. He could feel this movement forever. He could listen to it forever. Connor smiled and gently turned his head to look at the breathing figure that was lying half on top of him, the raven black tousled short mane and warm cheek on his chest, the heavy and yet pleasant arm around his waist.
Murphy.
Connor shifted a tiny bit and smiled even more, because he honestly couldn't believe this.
Murphy was breathing. Part of his old self was obviously still in there because he'd gone back to this. The clinging to him. The holding and cuddling. Back in the old days prior the apocalypse (and god forbid, old Murphy would kill him if he ever told anyone about this) Murphy had been a cuddler. He'd always been the one to touch, to embrace, to hug and share love, to come into his bed late at night, be it as kid or as adult, so he could cling to him and sleep with him in his bed.
They had always been terrible at this. Crying and screaming their goddamn lungs out whenever their mother had tried to put them in separate beds, like they had always been so eager to be one person, one body instead of fraternal twins. But of course, they were two people, soul split in half, and this was the closest they could get to each other.
Connor smiled affectionately and placed a gentle hand on his brother's head to comb his hair out of his eyes, to give him as much love as he possibly could, to truly make him feel how happy this whole scenario made him. One week of struggling, one week of fights, denial, accusations and some hate, but Murphy was slowly, oh so slowly opening himself up again, letting him back in, coming back to him, despite the problems.
The younger MacManus instantly flinched a bit, away from the touch, muttering in his sleep, frowning, making it obvious that even then he didn't like being touched on his head. Connor winced as well, because now that Murphy's fringe was out of his eyes he could see it again, the terrible scar, he could feel it, each pump, the raw surface, the scarred skin.
He was still so fucking sorry.
He immediately stopped combing Murphy's hair but still placed a gentle hand on the top of his head, to feel it, to make it better, to make it heal. Murphy had squirmed and moved a bit but was now lying still again, one louder exhale escaping his mouth until he simply decided to sleep on. This was one good thing about his brother – he was still sleeping like a log, which allowed him to be so close to his sibling and actually be able to touch without freaking him out.
So Connor enjoyed this for a while and put his other hand on Murphy's upper arm, the arm that was wrapped around his waist anyway. He also stroke this one with his thumb, fully enjoying the fact that he could actually do this with Murphy without feeling strange about it or fearing a possible fucking punch. It felt so natural, and it only just dawned on him how –much- he had missed this during the past year. Being able to hold someone like that, to be physical and affectionate and loving and not give a single fuck about what this looked like. He'd missed the near, the touch, the tenderness, and it really made him understand why he'd been acting so fucking weird around Daryl before getting Murphy back.
The Irishman had always been a very physical person around people he liked. –Especially- around Murphy. He looked at Murphy again, pondering on that. Back on the farm he'd been the one to cling to Daryl and, fuck you very much, tried to cuddle but of course, not with Daryl. Of course not.
For just a moment it suddenly made him feel weird.
New barriers were –obviously- there. Because now it was the other way round as well. Not just Daryl had Murphy's face, no, Murphy also had Daryl's face now. If he got the angle right and squeezed his eyes shut a bit it could really be Daryl, and this just freaked him out. Murphy and him were all about touch and affection and dependency and love. But Daryl and him? The exact opposite. Distance and anger and longing for independency and general hate. At least from Daryl's side of the relationship. It would be weird picturing a scenario like this but with Daryl, it was against their laws, a whole lot weird actually.
It was really fucking strange.
Connor let go of Murphy with a frustrated growl and stared at the ceiling, still feeling the weight of Murphy's head and chest on his body.
Of course it had to be like that now. Lookalikes. It was a fucking curse. Because he was back to it now. Every time he was around either of them. The constant switching back and forth. He was with Daryl and he thought about Murphy and missed Murphy when he shouldn't be thinking about his brother during some situations they had, and when he was with Murphy and enjoying their brotherly moments from their old life he had to think about Daryl and he missed Daryl and thought how he kind of wanted Murphy to trade places with the guy so he could have moments like that with him as well.
Jesus fucking Christ.
He was turning into some fucking chick over this.
He needed a smoke. Badly.
Speaking of which. His bad smoker's cough was making itself known and that more and more, tickling the insides of his throat, aching to be released and just…Cough. He couldn't fight it any longer and started coughing, instantly shielding his mouth with his fist. Connor raised his head and flexed his abdominal muscles while doing so, as he tried to catch glimpse of Murphy's face. Murphy's head rose and fell with each rhythmic and abrupt movement of his chest as his lungs tried to get rid of all the sticky, dry slime. For some reason the younger MacManus still wouldn't wake up though, although his older half had been so certain that this would be it.
But Murphy slept on.
As soon as Connor was done coughing he let out a surprised, gentle chuckle and combed his sibling's hair again, which only resulted in another one of Murphy's attempts to stop the whole touching of his sensitive head.
And so the blonde MacManus did.
He didn't know for how long he was just lying there, staring at the ceiling, out of the window, at the walls and at his sleeping brother on his chest that was slowly beginning to ache, but Murphy eventually stirred. Or more like, started moving and struggling a bit. His eyes were all squeezed shut from one second to the next until the struggle became more and more violent, making it obvious that he was having a bad dream. But Connor didn't even really register it as 'just a bad dream', it still freaked him out, scared him that something was wrong with Murphy, that his abused head was causing him to have a seizure like the one he'd seen Daryl have back when he'd almost died on that table in the infirmary of the prison.
So Connor instantly sat up and grabbed Murphy by his shoulders, trying to wake him up and stop him from doing this.
"Murph" he said, worry and fear showing in his voice. For just a moment Murphy even started making whimpering sounds like he was seriously freaked out and scared, like he was trying to get away, and Connor could feel it in his bones, since their weird twin connection was coming more and more back to life. And it freaked him out so much that he shook Murphy harder and said his name louder this time until Murphy suddenly snapped his head to the side and then opened his eyes abruptly, sitting up a bit while doing so, breathing in sharply.
"'s alright, brother. Murph, Murph..look at me 'm here, 's Connor, I'm here, it's alright" Connor immediately said and sat up as he tried to get hold of his brother so he could calm him down. Murphy looked around the room in panic for a second longer and then buried his face in his hands so he could rub it with a tired, shaky exhale. "'s alright, Murph, just a bad dream" Connor said once more and tried to move closer, placing a hand on his siblings shoulder and trying to make it better, except that Murphy suddenly jerked away from him and that almost violently.
"Don' fuckin touch me" he snapped but kept his face buried in his hands, making it even more obvious that the dream must've been horrible. Connor swallowed hard and looked at his sibling, taken aback by the sudden change of mood. He believed to know what this was about. Bad dream in which his sibling had obviously been trying to get away from something, to flee, something that had scared the living daylights out of him and now he wasn't allowed to be close to him and touch him.
That day.
The walker attack and the gun.
Connor swallowed once again and looked away, quickly trying to blink the images away, but they were still burned into his mind and he was sure that he'd never get rid of that, just like Murphy didn't seem to be able to let go.
The walker. Biting Murphy's neck. The sick crunching sound.
Murphy, staggering towards him, bloody, reaching out for him, croaky groans escaping his mouth, disguised begging sounds, the gun, the shoot.
The hole in his head and bloody Murphy on the floor.
"'m sorry" he suddenly heard Murphy mumble and looked at his sibling again. The younger MacManus had buried his face in the thighs of his cocked legs, arms folded against his forehead as he tried to calm down. Connor just kept looking at him. He really wanted to cross the short distance between them, hold his brother, tell him that he was there and that he was going to protect him and make him fine but of course, how was he supposed to do that when –he- was the monster in the closet Murphy was scared of this time.
"It's alright, Murph" was all he could say instead, their secret code words that had so many meanings.
Murphy finally stopped burying his face and sniffed once, rubbing his nose, then his eyes, until he finally fixed them on Connor with a tiny smirk.
"Did I wake ye up?"
Connor shook his head and relaxed a bit more. Murphy smiling at him was a beginning.
"Been up fer at least 15 minutes."
"Coulda woken me up" Murphy mumbled as he shifted and rubbed his eyes once more, only to cough a bit as well since the same smoker's cough plagued him.
He scratched his chest and cleared his throat.
"Nah, ye need ta rest."
Murphy shifted some more, his usual restless spirit coming back to life. He then moved closer to the edge of the bed so he could reach for the old lamp on the bedside table, the one that wasn't even working anymore. But this didn't matter because he didn't want to turn it on, no, he reached for what was hanging there, the rosary, his protector, his link to god.
He leaned back and put it around his neck, feeling it on his stomach and rubbing it a bit. It made him feel better almost immediately.
"You alright, Murph?" Connor asked as he observed his twin and considered the rosary a hint that maybe it was okay to talk.
"Hmhm" Murphy said and then looked at his sibling, suddenly shrugging. "Just a bad dream."
Connor kept looking at him for a whole while longer.
"D'ye wanna…"
"No, Connor, I don' wanna fuckin talk 'bout it" Murphy interrupted him, instantly annoyed and looking away.
Connor let out a gentle sigh and rubbed the bridge of his nose with closed eyes, trying to calm himself down and not take it too personal. Murph's always cranky and pissed in the morning, he tried to remind himself. He needed to function today, right from the off, for Murphy, for this community, for this town. No blaming or pitying himself.
Murphy took a moment for himself so he could calm his nerves as he wrapped the beads of his rosary around his fingers, over and over again, pulling, relaxing, pulling again. Now that the terrible images of walkers tearing him to shreds and burying their teeth in his neck or Connor standing in front of him but not hearing his pleas and shooting him instead were gone he was back in the real world again. Woodbury. With his brother. A new day. A new world. A new life.
And he suddenly remembered that this was actually his first real morning here where Connor wasn't locking him up, he didn't have to lead walkers or away or where he wasn't actually lost. No. A new bright morning, waking up, minding his business, his old schedules here in this new town.
"Con?" he asked, the nightmare soon forgotten because now he was actually curious.
"Aye?" Connor said with a tired, flat voice, making it obvious that he was far from letting go and forgetting about this just yet. The older of the two MacManus twin had gotten off the bed by now to get dressed so he could go downstairs to get them breakfast. "Do they have a church here? Or mass or stuff like tha?" Murphy asked and looked from his rosary to Connor, who turned around and looked back at him, now with a curious rather than tired look on his face.
"Well…" he muttered and quickly pulled his new shirt over his head. "'s not really a church. They dragged some cross and candles around and dressed te place up a bit with chairs and tables. And there's no real mass or anything like that, though. Hershel speaks and reads t'us sometimes, even I did it once or twice, but not so early, actually."
Murphy just kept looking at him.
"I still wanna go."
Connor smiled at little and looked at his sibling for a moment.
"Okay. Aye. We can do that. 'f course."
It was –really- weird this time. He liked it a lot, but at the same time he didn't like it that much. More old habits. More from their old life. Connor opened his eyes for a moment and just stared at the ground to his feet, at the back of the chair in front of him. His hands were folded in front of his belly, he could clearly read the letters on his finger, Veritas, reminding him of his old life, his strong beliefs, his love for god.
Connor raised his head a bit so he could look to the side, look at the person next to him. Murphy was actually sitting there, really sitting there. He was no longer an illusion, he was no longer going insane over the loss of him. No, this was Murphy, his old Murph, sitting next to him in church, just like the countless years before all this.
It was so abstract, really.
Last time he'd been sitting next to Murphy in a church like that had been in Boston. With no dead people walking around. Their only fear back then, right after their escape from prison, had been getting caught and put back in prison. How fucking absurd. Bedtime story material now. A joke, even.
But now?
They were back together. Side by side. Just like back then. Connor and Murphy MacManus. In church. Devotional. Loving god. Obedient. Praying. For just a moment he closed his eyes and played pretend yet again. There it was, the distinct smell of their church in Boston. Their monsignor's words. Mrs Fitch from Athens Street, Dutch Gallagher from Buckley, all of their former neighbours, sitting around them. And if he concentrated a little more he could almost hear the constant swooshing of cars outside, the countless horns and sirens and jumbo jets and….just the sound and smell of Boston, with Murphy right beside him. But it only got replaced by the sound of burning fire and screams and snarls of thousands of undead and the stench of rotten, walking corpses.
Boston's lost. I saw it burn to the ground. Wasn' much left of it. It's just... gone.
Connor let out a gentle sigh and opened his eyes again, trying to concentrate on what was here now.
The only true part of this entire illusion was actually his brother.
He really wanted to concentrate on his prayers, be like Murphy, say his prayers, talk to god, forgive, be calm and pure, find peace. But he couldn't do that shit right now. This formerly so old and well-known tradition was suddenly so new again, so strange and unfamiliar in this new world, and he couldn't help but look at Murphy instead of actually praying. Study his face. Be happy that he was there, be happy that this part of his life was back but at the same time….
This whole thing scared him more and more. Scared him shitless in fact.
First the talking about the Boston Incident, Murphy kind of forgiving him, the first attempted hugs, Murphy asking to remind him of their past, the fact that Murphy was sleeping in his bed with him, that he'd asked about their Da and friends, that he was now even wearing the rosary again, that he'd been sleeping so close to him today….everything was slowly getting back to normal although it was a bumpy ride, and the going back to normal was exactly what freaked him out so much.
Sooner or later Murphy would start relying on him again. Sooner or later Murphy would fully forgive him, be his twin brother again, share his soul, be with him, follow him everywhere. And it was the following he was afraid of, because last time Murphy had relied on him that much and followed him everywhere he'd ended up on that street in Boston with a walker behind him, biting his neck and almost killing him.
"Yer fockin loud when yer thinking" Murphy suddenly murmured, eyes still closed, and obviously confused by Connor's constant moving and looking around.
The older of the two cleared his throat and looked down again.
"Sorry."
He closed his eyes again and forced himself to forget about all that nonsense now. This was about god. About them. He had Murphy back. He was fucking happy. And he finally started praying, asked for forgiveness, and he also asked god to please not take his brother away again after getting all of this back.
Murphy's mood had changed drastically after their early morning prayers. Like the procedure had cleansed him, calmed him, made him feel better. Now he was even smiling and pleasurably taking drags on the cigarette that danced around his smirking mouth, both his hands buried in his jeans, excitingly looking around all the morning fuss in Woodbury.
Connor was standing right next to him, cigarette in his hand and not his mouth. He was still a bit broody but getting better by the minute, simply because Murphy's emotions always affected him as well. Soon he could forget about his little downtime and smiled as well. He was also looking around the town, but not just to watch the daily routine but to look for the council and Daryl, since they had agreed to see each other there.
He loved Murphy to death and he was so glad to have him back, but he actually looked forward to being with Daryl a bit. If only just for an hour. His friend usually really helped him after worrying his freaking head off like that, the hunter knew exactly how to ground him, calm him down, pull him back into this new world, since he'd only ever been in this world with him.
"What's te plan fer today? They gonna gimme a real job and make me join some group?" Murphy suddenly asked, remembering his little chat with Terry yesterday, remembering that everyone had a job and task here. He didn't really want to bring it up, considering the history this man had with his brother since it had been kind of Connor's fault the guy's brother was dead now. But he was still curious about the job thing, which was why he decided to ask his brother directly about it.
Connor looked at him and shrugged a bit while scratching his jaw.
"I dunno, Murph. 'm gonna meet up with the council in a couple of minutes and see if I can bring it up."
Murphy listened up at this, remembering his little chat with Rick regarding the council topic.
"Right. Yer part'a that. Sheriff told me" he observed and kicked at a stone, all lazily and a bit bored already.
"Can I come with ye?"
Connor smiled at him and leaned his head back at bit.
"Not just yet. Just like I said. I'll try ta bring it up. We'll get ye integrated in this town soon enough. All ye can do now 's…"
Murphy snorted angrily.
"Oh so, what, just cos I got no club card 'n batch fer yer little boys club I can't join?"
Connor took a deep breath and tried to stay calm.
"No, Murphy, just listen. I don't know how the council really works, they just put people on there, who they…"
"Then why not bring me along?"
Connor closed his eyes for a moment and lifted his head, trying to keep calm, although Murphy's constant fucking nagging was really getting on his nerves right now.
"Cos I don't make the decisions around this fucking town, alright?" he snapped, a bit harsher than intended, but he was finally getting it across. Murphy fell silent and just looked at him.
"People asked me t'join, as they did with all the others. 'm not saying yer not capable of being on the council, fuck, take me spot any day, fer real. But see it from their perspective. Yer a fuckin stranger t'them, and ye've been here in this town fer only a couple'a days. Don't ye think it's a bit early ta be making decisions fer this entire community when ye don't even know shit about its people and structures?"
Murphy remained silent. He looked pretty stubborn and almost bit down on his cigarette but he wouldn't say anything, maybe he shrugged a bit but he kept listening. Connor moved his hand through his hair and let out another frustrated sigh.
"I said 'm gonna deal with this, bring it up, see what the others say, and in a buncha days 'm gonna drag ye along anyway, okay? But right now I need ye ta fucking chill, alright?"
"Alright, geez. Calm yer fucking beans" Murphy muttered and then grabbed his cigarette to drop some ash.
He looked down at the ground, even chewing on his lower lip with that displeased look on his face. But he seemed to be understanding now.
"And what exactly do ye want me t'do in the mean time?" he asked quietly, kind of giving in but obviously not liking it.
Connor wanted to let out a frustrated growl but wouldn't do anything like that. But here it was.
Slowly crawling its way back into their lives. Murphy, asking for his guidance, Murphy, wanting to follow his lead.
"I don't know, just…. Maybe ye should take a little break fer now? Ye only just got here, and after all the chaos maybe ye could use a little rest and…"
Murphy let out a loud, angry snort and wanted to say something about how this constant 'protecting' him and keeping him from everything was getting stupid, but when he looked back up he suddenly saw them. The couple of people he knew from Connor's 'group', walking towards them, heading for the town hall. It was obvious, really. They just had to be 'the council'. Might as well be a flashing sign above their heads, Murphy thought with a ping of jealousy.
Because really, what was this now? Day 4? 5? A week with Connor? And he still wasn't allowed to do or join shit. It was ridiculous, really. And of course. He got even angrier when he saw the person behind the old man with the white beard he thought was Hershel. Crossbow. Stupid sleeveless shirt, stupid leather vest. Stupid crossbow.
Daryl.
Of course this fucker had to be part of this council of theirs.
When he turned his head to look at Connor the whole thing just got even worse. His brother was obviously trying to hide it and play it down, but there was still a tiny smile, and he looked happy about the fact that this stupid redneck was around now. But then Connor looked back at him and gave him an even brighter smile, obviously trying to make peace before going back in with the others.
"I'm gonna work this out. Promise" he said, and Murphy tried really hard to stay angry with him.
Part of him really was, but he couldn't be mad at Connor when he was giving him that fucking smile of his.
"Fine" he gave in and winced when Connor patted his shoulder.
"See ye later, Murph."
"Don' take fuckin too long" Murphy complained but fixed his eyes on Daryl in the meantime, who was staring back at him with just about the same angry look on his face. Of course, even when they were going through a certain range of emotions the fucking face stealer even had to steal those and look exactly the fucking same.
"Aye. Be back before ye know it" Connor assured him and then finally joined the others, greeting them, only to pat Daryl's back and go back inside the town hall with him.
Murphy stood by the door a bit longer and stared at the entrance, suddenly feeling left out and lonely. He chewed on his lower lip with a frown and finished his smoke, hoping that maybe if he stayed here long enough Connor would come back outside and ask him to come and join the meeting but of course, no one would come.
He threw his cigarette away and decided that fuck Connor, he didn't need a fucking babysitter anyway and that he could handle himself just fine.
"Are ye still up fer that task of yers?" Murphy asked grumpily as he entered the house Woodbury used for food processing and storage. Terry turned around in surprise to look at the Irishman who was standing in the middle of his domain. The younger MacManus was looking around the room with both his hands in his pockets, obviously a bit unsure of himself but determined enough to get this done.
Murphy scanned the countless cans, the animal furs that were hanging off the ceiling just like the partially unprocessed meat that had once been animals like opossums, squirrels, rabbits and one small doe. It didn't smell too good in here. The stench of blood and meat was unmistakable, and some of the food didn't smell that fresh anymore either. Definitely not too inviting. But they were obviously making do in here.
Terry, who was wearing an old apron and gloves to keep the whole process somewhat clean, rubbed his nose with a sniff and put away the bunch of plastic wraps he'd been working with just a second ago. He scanned the younger MacManus head to toe once more, then an amused smirk crossed his face.
"You sure about that, Irish?"
Murphy just stared at him.
"Y'need the fuckin help or not?"
Terry snorted and smirked even more.
"Ain't it obvious?"
It was. It certainly looked like there was enough work to do in here.
Terry finally pointed to Murphy's right.
"Take Tay's old apron. Wash your hands, use sanitizer, make sure yah ain't too dirty. Our cook hates making use of tainted food, and I sure as hell 'm not gonna eat something someone else touched with their dirty mitts. Can't exactly risk infecting this whole town with some crap like a disease or something. Dead people might start walking."
Murphy looked to his right were a small sink was, with a chair and a bucket full of fresh water right next to it. He looked back at Terry for a moment to check out how exactly the other man looked and how he was supposed to get this working, especially since he couldn't remember anything about his previous line of work anymore, and maybe he suddenly regretted his spontaneous decision to take the job now. Terry obviously thought he knew what he was doing, although he totally didn't.
"Come on, ain't got all day! You too stupid to follow simple instructions?" Terry said with a chuckle and got back to work, obviously trying to ease him up but at the same time kind of making fun of him. Murphy knew that he sure looked a bit stupid right now because he was suddenly so hesitant to join after giving a performance like that just seconds earlier, but Terry's chuckling just made him angry again, and certainly a whole lot determined once more.
Fuck everyone who thought he couldn't do shit cos he was 'the little brother' or 'the poor headshot victim' or the 'poor lonely survivor' and 'newbie'. And fuck Connor for not taking him to that council meeting of theirs. Fine, if Connor had a 'job' to do here, then maybe he had to get one himself and make these people trust him on their own. He didn't need fucking Connor and his opinions just because he'd been here a whole lot longer.
He was gonna get shit done on his own.
He headed for the sink to get himself ready.
„Alright. There's several things we need to talk about today" Hershel opened up the council meeting and had a look around the room.
It was pretty early, but everyone was sitting around the table, eager to get this done. They were meeting up inside the town hall, just like all the other times. Connor had a look around as well and saw all the familiar faces, Hershel, Carol, Glenn, Sasha, Andrea, Michael, Wendy, Daryl. It was a bit weird to be back here, considering that he and Daryl had only just returned to Woodbury a couple of days ago after their odyssey to Augusta and Savannah. He'd had a bit of a crisis before this, just like Daryl. Before Augusta they had kind of hated those meetings, but now he was actually glad to be back.
He was also glad that his mind wasn't driving him crazy like it did with Murphy around. He was back with his group, back in his new life which seemed so much easier now, and he was instantly more relaxed because he didn't have to worry about the simplest shit. He had a look around and smiled at the others, only to fix his eyes on Daryl and smile even more. Daryl was another good thing about this whole meeting. He was happy to see his friend, that they somewhat were on good terms now. Daryl looked back at him for a moment and frowned a little, obviously confused by Connor's behavior. Neither got the chance to do much though, because then Hershel started talking again.
"We've been getting reports about another survivor group. They were seen raiding stores in Sharpsburg. Our runners need to be more careful."
Wendy, one of the survivors from the Governor's time in Woodbury, turned her head to look around the council with a frown.
"They could be friendlies, like the Decatur group, or the man Daryl found yesterday? Maybe we should go locate them, check them out and see if they're willing to trade with us, or even join us. We could use the force after losing Taylor, Barry and his group two weeks ago."
Daryl, who had looked at her at the mention of his name, frowned a bit and looked around the council as well.
"Or they could be hostile. Decatur had kids with 'em. And Bob was all alone when I found 'im. Kinda went without sayin that those're friendlies. But a group of scavengers with probably heavy artillery? Not so much. Ain't the first group of survivors who are out for rivalries and lootin. Chances are, they're just as psycho as all the others."
"Well, you were armed to the teeth when we met your group, and look who's here with us now" Wendy muttered and leaned back with folded arms, once again making it obvious that the little dispute between their group and Woodbury was still not really over. Connor was once again reminded of Terry's words from yesterday night.
If it weren't for you none of our people would've died. Certainly not Taylor. You ever notice the division of labor here?
He wondered if they would ever get over this stupid thing.
Connor could see the look on Daryl's face, saw that his friend was pretty close to putting the woman in place and possibly causing another fight, so he decided to step in.
He leaned forward and spoke up.
"Whoever they are, friendly or not, I think we should worry about ourselves first" he said and everyone looked at him.
He made eye contact with Daryl and then looked at Hershel and the others again.
"Wendy's right. Our town's not doing too hot these days. We lost a buncha people, and te herd from two days ago made it obvious that we're not as strong and invincible as we think. Daryl'n I talked about this yesterday night when we took care of another bunch'a walkers. We should try ta work on our defenses first. Make the town safer, think about expanding before we let anyone else in."
He looked at Daryl again and gently kicked his legs under the table to animate him to talk as well.
"So we can be sure we're safe fram both a walker attack as well as a possible survivor attack" he added but Daryl wouldn't say anything.
Although he was part of the council he was always pretty passive about everything.
"I don't think we should risk an expansion" Sasha spoke up this time. "We could certainly use the space, but it's hard enough to protect and patrol our walls as they are."
"I think both of you are right" Glenn joined in and looked at both Sasha and Connor.
"We should think about expanding and we should consider our weak defenses. So why not reinforce our walls? Not in length but in height?"
Daryl chewed on his lip and nodded.
"Buncha old school busses and some iron sheets ain't gonna last that much longer Takes only one hard pull to rip 'em off" he agreed.
"That doesn't solve the problem with the other group" Carol spoke up and Michael shrugged.
"They were in Sharpsburg, not Woodbury. Ain't no problem if they don't know about us."
"Yet" Connor added and looked at Michael, who frowned a bit but then just shrugged.
"What yah gonna do, Irish. Shoot 'em up?"
Connor snorted and leaned back, but wouldn't say anything. Michael knew about his past, but the Irishman also knew that this wasn't just about his work as a saint, but about the prison shootout as well. The man had been in his freaking crosshairs once. Looking right up at him. But then Connor had shot a walker instead of the guy. This time it was Daryl who spoke up to prevent another discussion about this.
"No, but we should think 'bout putting up some traps and alarms" the hunter said and pointed at the map of Woodbury, the one they kept on the table between them.
"Leprechaun's right. We've been talking 'bout that kinda expansion last night. We found a bunch of good spots t'put up traps for both walkers and other groups. Rick and Michonne told us 'bout this guy back in his old hometown. He did some pretty good stuff. We should do the same thing. Warning signs, ditches, foothold traps, spears and wires. Anything t'keep survivors away and t'keep walkers from forming larger groups that pile up on our walls like the huge herd that was here when we got back."
Connor shifted as well so he could look at the map, too.
"Aye, that's what 've been talking about. We don' even need ta build walls we gotta walk in shifts. Just a buncha those ta keep others from entering the other abandoned buildings, like dividers with ditches. And it could make future expansion attempts easier. Less cleaning ta do. And we should seriously consider an expansion later. There's lotsa useful buildings out there we should occupy. And we should try ta build our way over t'the small lake here so we can think 'bout fishing or even use it as drinking water resource with te right kinda treatment. We could even do some reading and try ta build our own small water works t'create more juice."
Andrea nodded as well and leaned in.
"We certainly need more resources. Water, power. Space. Supplies. That's what I've been trying to say all along. We need to become self-sufficient so we don't have to send our people out on supply runs anymore. They need to cross a larger distance each time because resources are getting scarce around town. I think we can all agree that it's not going to get better. Our people are scared. They feel like they're trapped in a cage. We need to persevere and make life worth living again. And that as pleasant as possible. We need to stop waiting and we need to stop depending on the outside world."
"We could use the lake to water our plants and expand our farming land" Hershel agreed and Connor grinned.
"See, that's what 'm talking about."
"So wait, a minute ago we were talking about the walls and now we're…" Glenn asked with a confused frown and Connor spoke up.
"Aye, the plan is, reinforce the walls, get our town stable enough ta be up and running again, then put up traps, dig some ditches, secure larger portions of the abandoned parta town and then try ta make land further south-west so we can get t'the lakes."
"And how exactly do you plan to do all that? We don't have the resources t…" Wendy asked, but Connor wouldn't let her finish.
"We found a large construction site just off the interstate. 'm sure we can get more than enough building materials there ta reinforce the walls. There's trucks, steel, wood, we could really get this going."
Carol nodded.
"They're right. We can't risk another weak spot. We need to get stronger. We got children in here."
Daryl nodded.
"Hmhm, and the herd I saw a couple of days ago looked pretty serious. 'bout twice as large as the one we've been dealin with before emo kid led those lamebrains away. Whatever we wanna do, gotta do it fast cos that ain't gonna be no picnic. They'd overrun us like our walls are just made of cardboard."
Connor gave him a little angry glare because he didn't like Daryl's nicknames for Murphy, but decided not to say anything because his friend was still right.
Everyone nodded quietly, obviously fearing the same thing. Getting overrun, seeing the herd turn up and pile up on their walls once more.
Connor looked around once more and decided that maybe this was his chance, since Murphy had been nagging him with it so much by now.
"Speaking of Murph and te guy Daryl brought back with 'im. What're we gonna do about our latest additions? M'brother's eager ta help. And I think we can all agree that te other guy needs ta earn his keep ta stay in here with us as well."
It was quiet for a moment as the council considered this.
"Well, we lost Taylor, Barry and his entire scouting crew to the Fayetteville walkers. Our supply runners and scouts certainly need the…"
"Murph's not gonna join the supply runners. He's not going out there" Connor interrupted Michael and then glared at him, which only earned him an angry glare in return.
"Who else's gonna replace th…"
"I'm back on the supply team. So is Daryl. I'm not gonna discuss this fuckin issue with ye, Michael, cos Murph on the supply runs ain't gonna happen" Connor said almost commanding and bossy, which made the whole never ending discussion worse again.
"So what, you gonna send another bunch of our people out there?"
Hershel picked up on the whole issue as well and looked at Michael and even grabbed his wrist, trying to alleviate the discussion before it got worse.
"You need to understand that there's no 'us' and 'them'. We are going out there. We are looking for volunteers from our town."
Michael snorted and leaned back in his chair as he folded his arms and looked away.
"Yeah, yeah, old man, you keep telling yourself that" he muttered and fell quiet. He obviously didn't really believe it, but at least he was no longer talking about the ever so present "Woodbury and the prison" problem anymore. It was quiet for a moment, then the council finally got back on topic.
"We can't send Bob on those missions. We don't even really know if we can trust the guy yet. Same goes for emo kid. Both of 'em are in pretty bad shape.
They were all alone out there before we found 'em, and they look like they're pretty messed up right now."
"Eh" Connor complained and kicked at Daryl, once again angry because his friend was trying to make his brother look like he had a screw loose.
The hunter ignored him and kept talking.
"We should only take people we can trust and rely on out there" Daryl said, almost calmly and looked at Michael.
"Aye" Connor agreed then and looked around the council.
He knew that if anyone of those people asked Murphy to join a supply runners group, his sibling was so going to be on board. Which he didn't like. Not one bit.
"We could put them on watch duty. Connor's brother kinda saved our lives the other day when he took care of that huge pile up by the wall" Glenn suggested and Sasha nodded.
"We'll take note of their abilities and previous jobs. See what they could help us with. We got plenty of work to do in here."
"What about this group of survivors?" Wendy reminded them and Andrea answered this time.
"We'll deal with them as they come."
The whole council nodded and mumbled as they came to a silent agreement, some more pleased with it than others.
"Alright. We need to assign groups, shifts and schedules to get this thing going" Sasha then said and took a pen and some paper to organize this.
"We need a team of scouts to locate the construction site and make sure the things we need are there. Then we need another group of construction workers to reinforce the walls and check for any weak spots. Michael, you're the man there. Maybe, if we can pull this off, we can even think about forming a third group we send out to build traps and secure the land close to our part of town."
"'m gonna go, hit the road. See if I can find enough material for those traps" Daryl spoke up, since he was the expert tracker and hunter after all and considered it his job.
Connor wanted to speak up and tell his friend that he was going to join him because they were a team after all, but then Glenn suddenly talked and mentioned him.
"I'm gonna join Connor and maybe one or two people. Go back to the interstate and check the place out before we send any more of our people out there to retrieve the material."
He supposed that Glenn was right. Either he or Daryl needed to lead those people to the construction site since they had been the ones to find it, and he also agreed that Glenn was good enough to be the runner and that he was 'invincible' enough to go out there with him, but he still didn't like the fact that he and Daryl were supposed to split up.
"I'm gonna try to find a bunch of people I can take out to secure town around our walls" Wendy jumped right in and the others nodded in approval.
"Guess I'm in charge of everything inside then. I'm going to hold a community meeting here. Later today. Tell our people about or plans, collect ideas, maybe have a vote or two and form groups" Andrea offered.
Connor looked at his friend and tried to make eye contact, hoping he could get him into joining his run. Daryl did look back at him but didn't really seem to get it, and he was pretty keen to stop the looking at each other as quickly as possible. He even looked down and stared at the map instead. Connor wanted to snort, but decided not to do or say anything. It was more than obvious that his friend was pretty embarrassed and that certainly because of last night. The Irishman knew the hunter well enough by now to read the right things into his behavior. Daryl didn't want to look at him or interact with him too much today because he obviously feared that the others could pick up on it, like they could see right through them and know about what had happened last night.
As if.
Connor looked around the council.
No one was even looking, and if someone caught a glimpse of them or looked at them they looked like they didn't have a fucking clue. Daryl's behavior was ridiculous, really, but he was used to it by now. He also knew that his friend didn't really mean it. But he was still doing it, pretty much ignoring him and treating him like all the others, like nothing had happened.
The others had spent the past couple of minutes trying to organize their latest tasks, come up with groups, working schedules, plans and routes, and Connor soon was too busy making plans with them, so he couldn't really ponder on his and Daryl's fucked up friendship any longer anyway. He was so into it all that he did not notice how his friend was watching him more and more, especially now that he wasn't looking and now that the others were busy listening to the Irishman as well.
Back in the old days Daryl would've hated him for this. Making the others, his group, listen to him, absorbing their attention, making them look to him for guidance. Back on the farm he would've been jealous of Connor, called this an act of stealing his people from him, especially since he just couldn't do stuff like that. Make plans, become integrated and make people listen to him. He wasn't a leader, didn't consider himself capable and worthy enough to really participate here. Back in the old days he'd been angry with Connor and jealous of him because he was the exact opposite of him, but now he no longer minded it one bit.
He actually liked it a lot, that his friend had become such a big part of his group, that he really was a part of their family now, after so many months of struggling and fighting. Connor didn't look pissed, angry or uber-annoying anymore. He looked very alive whenever he did that. Planning. Organizing. Leading. It was obviously his thing. It even made the hunter smile a tiny bit and he hated to admit it: but he liked this Connor the most.
Because whenever he was busy planning stuff out or whenever he was teaching people and explaining things to them one could actually see that he wasn't –really- such an immature clown. There were no jokes, no pranks, no stupid cocky grin on his face. His friend was busy, serious, mature, spirited. Now he was even able to speak to Michael again, and that in a mature and giving manner.
A lot of times Daryl just had to think back, because even now he still couldn't really let go of the old times. Especially now that this Murphy guy was back and he really wanted to go back to the old times when it had been just him and Connor. But old Connor had been so much different compared to the one who was sitting opposite him now. The guy was life itself, part of a thriving community. Smart. Intelligent. Capable. Likable.
Connor leaned forward a bit to point at a spot on the map, oblivious to the fact that he was being watched, and then Daryl could suddenly see it.
A bandaid, the size of his palm, covering the junction of the blonde's neck and shoulder.
Daryl immediately stopped smiling. He tensed and formed his hand to a tight fist under the table, on his thigh, remembering exactly what this one was covering up. That was his mark. He had a quick look around and scanned all the faces around the table, but no one seemed to pay that much attention to that one detail on Connor, but to him it looked like a big fat red warning sign. Like a massive stamp, left on the Irishman's neck. It was still a vivid memory, the grinding of hips, the touch, the hot breath and sweaty necks and hands and then the sudden urge to bite and let go, then….
Fuck.
He quickly looked away and tried to fix his eyes on something or someone else.
Everyone was looking at the map so he tried to act normal and look at the map as well, but of course, Connor's hands were there, pointing and moving along the line of a road, the stupid hand with the Veritas tattoo, just another reminder that….
Shit. That hand had been wrapped around his fucking dick just a couple of hours ago.
He squirmed in his chair and frowned. Now he was just angry with himself. It was pathetic, really. Connor was his friend. His best friend. The guy meant the fucking world to him because they had been through so much. He didn't just consider him his best friend, he was his hunting and scouting partner. They were a team, a unit. This whole town considered them a package deal by now. The violent part inside of him even considered the guy his property and he'd certainly marked that.
And here he was now, squirming like a fucking teenager, unable to look at the guy, unable to talk to him, pretending that they didn't even like each other that much and that he didn't want to be on a team with him. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He hated this change, because it was so unlike him, so unlike them. This sudden train of thoughts, the sudden hunger for not just violence and fights, but more, he tried to fight it but….
But fuck it, it had happened anyway.
Now that he thought about it, it really was no surprise. Connor was a manipulative, selfish asshole who knew exactly how to play his charm card right. This was how he had managed to trick him into liking him right from day one, this was how he was doing it now. This was how he was doing it to Michael as well. Just a minute ago the two of them had been pretty much arguing, angry sparks and all, but now Connor had gotten the guy back into properly discussing and planning with him, wrapped around his little finger. It was no surprise that he would manage to put even him under his spell. And he was getting better at this bullshit each day.
What a fucking bastard.
Daryl looked around in surprise when Andrea, Wendy, Michael and Glenn suddenly got up and headed for the door, leaving only him, Connor, Hershel, Sasha and Carol to sit around the table.
And maybe this was his cue.
He got up as well, pretty eager to turn around so he didn't really have to look at his friend right now when he was having trouble keeping certain fucking thoughts out of his mind. From the corner of his eye he could see that Connor was suddenly looking at him and trying to get up as well to follow him and probably ask what the fuck was up with him again, but then Carol suddenly grabbed the Irishman's arm to stop him so she could talk to him.
Daryl really wanted his friend to follow him so they could talk in private and so he could call this stupid new thing of theirs off because this getting was so ridiculous, but he was also glad that Connor didn't get the chance to come after him. He seriously just needed to cool off and get his head straight right now. He really needed to teach his primitive teeny brain to separate business and friendship from their weird new late night drunk activities. He mumbled something about leaving to go find some trapping material and then exited the room.
Connor had noticed Daryl's changed behavior right from the off, and truth be told, he was a bit pissed, actually. First Murphy, then Daryl. Of fucking course. He tried to concentrate on their latest plans for Woodbury, tried to keep talking to Hershel, Glenn and Sasha, but he could still see Daryl from the corner of his eye. The pissed look on the hunter's face, the gritted teeth, the clenched fists. It was beyond obvious that Daryl was fighting another fit of rage, he was probably pissed at him again and living through vivid ideas of violence and fights for god knows what reason.
It was beyond ridiculous really. The whole thing with Daryl. Take one step forward and of course Daryl has to take ten steps backwards again, stubborn asshole that he was. Just for once did he want to enjoy a normal fucking morning with his friend after shit like the thing that had happened yesterday night. Fuck it, he'd pretend that nothing had happened, and that gladly, as long as they could go back to relaxed conversations, shared plans, schedules and tasks. Because really, they hadn't even spoken that much this morning yet.
But of course, fucking Daryl. Pretty much fucking him the night before, only to ignore his very existence a couple of hours later.
Connor got a bit angry as well and maybe he tensed his hands and fingers on the map, trying to control his anger, irritation and frustration. The truth was that he was far better at hiding it in front of people than Daryl, especially when he was busy talking to them. Which was exactly what he was trying to keep doing right now, and he soon managed to really ignore Daryl's sudden mood swings.
He set up the plan for their first scouting mission to the construction site. He mentioned the people he wanted to have on his team (of course he wanted Daryl to be on his team, but the guy had made it obvious that he didn't want to come and be near him right now, so fuck him). He wanted Glenn, Michonne and Sasha instead, his usual group of the sneakiest and most agile people, so the stronger fighters could stay with the abandoned Woodbury scouting mission.
The whole plan was set pretty quickly, which he certainly liked. Yesterday he and Daryl had just been talking about this, and now they were already trying to get it moving. Which wasn't too surprising though, considering that they didn't have much else to do and since there was a possible herd and another group of survivors close by.
The construction site team was supposed to leave today, right after lunch, so they were well fed and could be back before sunset. It was supposed to be a short trip only. It wasn't far, and they just wanted to make sure that the site wasn't overrun with walkers or people. They also wanted to go look what kind of material was there for them to use. He was totally up for it now. Excited even, as he looked at the map and the bunch of scribblings Sasha had worked on.
Glenn apologized and said that he had to leave early because of Maggie, and Andrea, Wendy and Michael left as well to recruit more people for the repairs and stabilization works on their walls. It was all good and set and pretty much done. Except that Daryl suddenly left with the others. Not even looking at him, not agreeing on some meeting point or shared mission for later, he wouldn't even really say goodbye. And Connor's mood instantly dropped again.
What a fucking bastard.
He snorted and tried not to be huffy, except he totally was. He honestly didn't get this shit. It felt like they all had a fucking agenda against him. Yesterday night had been pretty fucking brilliant, and that through and through. Shared night watch shift, easygoing friendship talk, a little competition, some walker killing action and later, the more hairy shit. They had left on a good note after that. No fighting. No denying. Even stating that they were both doing good. And now fucking this? What the fuck?
No wonder people considered fucking a guy as something gross and forbidden. If all guys acted like that after fucking – and by that he meant worse than freaking women with their mood swings – then he considered it no real surprise that so many despised this kind of stuff. Not that he'd ever think about any other dudes in relation to that topic. Yikes.
He even shivered a bit, a few unwanted images still playing in his head and making him shiver and twitch in disgust. Maybe that was a good thing, actually. That he still reacted to the this kind of topic like that. Yep, he was totally manly again. No need to question his sexuality because of yesterday. Fucking guys was still gross and an atrocity.
He shook his head and cleared his mind. Daryl was on his way out, and he still wanted to talk to him. Clear things up a bit. Everything was set and he wanted to leave anyway, so maybe…He got up to go after Daryl, curious what this whole thing had really been about, but then he suddenly felt a hand on his arm and looked to his right.
Carol was looking up at him, gently gripping his lower arm to keep him in place.
"Connor, wait" she requested and the Irishman fixed his eyes on her for a second, only to look back at the door. He only caught a tiny glimpse of angel wings on a leather jacket, then they were gone. Daryl had left without him, and he was pretty sure that it wouldn't take his friend too long to leave town.
Connor let out a gentle sigh and relaxed.
Fine, whatever, he thought grumpily and finally looked at Carol, giving her his full attention since this was probably about one of their missions they had planned out today.
"Can we talk?" she asked and then had a quick look around the council, where only Sasha and Hershel were still talking about something. Other people from Woodbury were already entering the building, now that the council meeting was officially over and the place was back open for its service as temporary church and meeting point with all the schedules, maps and plans.
Carol looked at Connor again.
"Alone?"
The Irishman let out a gentle sigh, since he knew what this was about and where this was going. He rubbed his forehead and looked at the door once more, kind of hoping that maybe Daryl'd come back, be all chill again and save him from this dilemma but of course, there was no Daryl, there was no one but a bunch of people walking in and out.
"Aye. Where'd ye wanna go?"
"The library" Carol stated as she got up and put her knife back in her belt.
Connor waited for her to get ready in the meantime. The woman looked at Sasha and Hershel for a moment and then fixed her eyes on the later.
"I'll be right back. We'll meet up at the general water supply to discuss this?" she stated, referring to something she and the old man had obviously talked about earlier.
"Yes. I'll be there in ten minutes. I just need to check on Bethy first."
Carol nodded and then gently nudged Connor's back to animate him to follow her.
They were on their way out and heading for the library. Connor had a worried and confused look around, looking for both his brother and friend.
He eventually spotted Daryl, who was working on his motorbike in front of his apartment block, obviously getting ready to head out and look for more hunting material. Connor slowed down and rubbed his chin, contemplating whether he should go to his friend and talk or finish the thing with Carol first. He knew that it didn't take too long and his friend would be gone, and he really didn't want to start his fucking day like this again. He wanted to freaking talk to the guy, be on good terms again and get over this whole crap.
He was only seconds away from asking Carol to wait so he could walk over to Daryl when he suddenly saw Murphy walk outside the supply building, wearing a bloody apron and lighting a cigarette by the door. But this whole blood and apron thing wasn't even the worst part about it all. No. Terry was standing right next to his brother, smoking with him, chatting, wearing the same bloody apron.
What the fuck.
He'd been looking for them both, Daryl and Murphy, and now he had them both, except that he didn't like any of this shit. He didn't even know who to go first except that Daryl made it totally easy for him once again, because he suddenly stepped away from his bike as Rick approached him to talk to him anyway, buying him some time to deal with the Murphy issue, because his blood was boiling by now.
"Wait" he said to Carol and then looked at her for a moment. "I just gotta talk t'my brother real quick. I'm gonna meet ye at the library in a sec, aye?"
The woman turned around and looked at him, only to fix her eyes on Murphy as well.
"Sure" she then said and started walking on her own, in the general direction of the library but also heading for Daryl and Rick.
"Fucking hell" Connor complained as he quickly headed for the supply storage, where his brother was still having a smoke break.
He couldn't believe this shit. Terry, the guy who had kind of freaking threatened him yesterday evening, was really talking to his brother now. Even smiling, that fucking bastard. He saw right through this shit. Whatever the guy was up to, it just –had- to be something nasty. He even jogged a bit, down main street, eager to get to his twin as quickly as possible. He stopped the running pace shortly before getting there because he knew that he was going to piss off Murphy otherwise and didn't want to do that. He was going to deal with it somehow without making his brother think he was some uber-protective chick of him, but he was still going to deal with it and stop the fucker from talking to Murphy.
"Murph" he greeted his sibling and instantly put his fake smile on, getting closer to them and trying to act normal.
Murphy turned his head in surprise and looked a bit like a rabbit caught in headlines, like he already knew he wasn't supposed to do this shit.
"Terry" Connor greeted the man although his voice was strained from trying to put up an act for his sibling. Terry seemed to be doing just the same, even fucking smiling at him, which was so fake Connor could see it half a mile away. Because people who had just punched someone right in the face a couple of days ago wouldn't be smiling at them like that the next day. But they both kept up the act for Murphy, obviously for different reasons. Fucked up reasons on Terry's part, Connor was sure of it, which was why he narrowed his eyes a tiny bit at the other man, making it clear. I'm fucking watching you.
"Irish" Terry greeted him back, but Connor ignored him and then fixed his eyes on his brother instead.
"What'cha doing here, then, huh? And what are ye wearing those clothes fer?" he asked with a gentle laugh, secretly wanting to sound his brother out.
Murphy took a lazy drag on his cigarette and shrugged.
"Told ye I was bored and wanna help. And since ye wouldn't let me in on yer council meetings I figured I should take care of it on me own. Terry offered me the job, so I took it."
"Yeah, and the kid's not so bad at it. Ain't gonna replace the work of a real butcher like my brother was, but hey, at least I could do about twice as much work in just an hour. Second hand's always good."
Connor just stared at Terry, still keeping the fake smile up for Murphy although his blood was running cold. Of course this fucker had to bring up his brother Taylor when he was here, of course he constantly had to remind him of the brother he had lost because of his and Daryl's fuck up.
Of course.
"Aye, helpin' hand's always good. Speaking of which, ye got a minute, Murph?"
Murphy took another drag on his cigarette and shrugged once more, instantly following him.
"Don't forget 'bout those squirrels!" Terry instantly shouted after them, but Connor only walked faster, trying to lead his twin away from the guy.
He just didn't trust the fucker.
"Aye, told ye we're gonna deal with those after our smoke break!" Murphy even excused himself, way too relaxed and even a bit freaking excited, and Connor finally stopped putting up an act. "I don't want ye ta be near te guy" he said and stopped walking in the middle of the street to turn around and look at both Murphy and then Terry in the distance, who was still watching them, smoke in his mouth, leaned against the door, even smiling a bit.
Murphy snorted and looked at him in disbelief.
"Fuckin what? Are ye fer fucking real right now?" he asked with an angry frown.
Connor gave Terry another angry glare.
"I just don' trust him, that's all."
Murphy laughed once, turned around to look at Terry who was just standing there, the guy he'd had a pretty nice and easy chat with earlier, the guy who'd given him something to do, something to make him feel useful, some stranger who treated him like a fucking adult for once.
"Jesus fuckin Christ, ye don't trust anyone 'round me fer fuck's sake! This is ridiculous!" Murphy complained and even shoved Connor a bit, because his stupid brother seriously couldn't be fucking real right now. Just yesterday he had promised him to stop the whole locking him up bullshit and the crazy worrying about him, and maybe he was no longer keeping him locked up there in this stupid house, but he was still trying to keep him from fucking everything.
It was really unbelievable, and it suddenly felt like a kidnapping again. Here fucking Connor was, with his stupid fucking redneck lookalike just down the street, the two people who had dragged him here, forced him to be with the man who had shot him in his fucking head, forced him to stay in this stupid town all day, refused to let him go get his people from Savannah here, forbid him to do practically everything, like Connor could seriously fucking decide over him although he was 30something years old. The guy really thought he had him by his balls and Murphy felt like they were getting cut off by that, it made him angry, it made him feel like this was a joke.
"It's not about that" Connor said calmly, trying to keep Murphy from having another fit of rage over that, and before his sibling got to respond he already talked again. "I swear ta fuckin god, this honestly isn't about me wanting ta go fuckin mother on you. Do anything ye want here, I mean it, just don't be working with tha guy."
"And why the fuck not, hm?"
"Cos I put his brother down fer fuck's sake!" Connor hissed and glared at Murphy.
"Te fucker punched me in the face over this, and he kinda tried ta fuckin threaten me last night if it hadn't been fer Tyreese walking in."
"And just cos yer makin a fuckin habbit outta that I can't work with the guy? What's that got ta do with me? I didn't do shit t'him or his fuckin brother! Maybe this is me trying ta set things straight fer you dickhead?"
"He lost his fuckin brother and now he's asking my fuckin brother fer help. Outta all people in this town, people he knows way longer than us, he's asking you fer help. Don't ye think this is a little strange?" Connor asked with an angry frown and fixed his eyes on Terry, who was already walking towards them, now that he had obviously picked up on the fact that they were arguing over him and his work.
"No, the only thing I think is a little strange is you actin like a fuckin psycho whenever anything's about fuckin me" Murphy snapped back. Connor really wanted to say something to that, tried to make his sibling understand that this honestly wasn't about him trying to wrap him back up in cotton wool and possibly suffocate him while doing that. He honestly just didn't like this whole thing, just that, he was fine with everything else Murphy wanted to do. But he couldn't express those thoughts because Terry suddenly joined them and spoke up.
"Hey come on, man. I get that you and I ain't exactly on good terms right now, but I really just need a hand after losin Tay and your brother's just trying t'make an honest living here. We need the manpower t'keep this town going, and your bro's …"
Connor walked right up to him and glared at the man, fury suddenly very present and taking hold of him.
"Don't think I don't see right through yer bullshit" he hissed until he was really close to the guy. "You say ye see right through me and my group? Well I see right through you, boy. Don't think I don't get ye wanna try and give me a taste of my own medicine, eye for an eye, brother fer brother, and I say fucking try me. You touch a hair on his head I will fucking kill you."
Terry just snorted and put both his hands in the air.
"Hey man, chill. Just like I said. Just need a helping hand. Daryl talked 'bout you guys being meatpackers, don't wanna work with you guy, figured your bro might as well do it. And he's done fine by me, but if you think…"
"He doesn't even remember shit 'bout packing meat!"
"Oh fuck you, 'f course I know shit about packing fucking meat, 'm no retard!" Murphy suddenly snapped behind him them and Connor turned around to look at his sibling.
The younger MacManus walked up to his brother and glared at him.
"Ye don't think this is gonna work out but yer okay with me doing anything other than that? Fine. How about I join the next supply run?"
Connor snorted.
"Don' play this fuckin card on me now."
"Oh, of course I can't do that as well, cos 'too dangerous' right? Well, what 'bout tha council of yers? Daryl's on it, you are, can't be too hard t'get me on this as well considering 'm yer fucking brother."
"We just talked about that less than an hour ago! Yer gonna be on the council soon enough, 'm gonna drag ye along anyway!"
"Fine, and how 'bout I help tha group over there, hm?" Murphy asked and pointed at Wendy and the small group she had gathered to check out the surrounding area.
"That is a fucking scouting crew. They're going outside. Same thing."
Murphy snorted and shook his head.
He put his cigarette back in his mouth and started walking back towards the supply storage, where Terry was waiting by the door.
"Fuck you, Connor" he just said and walked right past his brother.
"Murph.." Connor whined and turned around as he tried to stop his sibling.
"What 'bout Rick then, hm? Ye were getting along pretty well yesterday, didn't ye? I also spoke t'the council, they want ye ta be on the patrols and watch duties and shit."
"Ye know what?" Murphy said and turned around once more. "I might be doing just that and guess what, I don't need yer fuckin permission t'do anything."
He then turned around again and walked back to Terry, muttering something about squirrels that were waiting for him to be processed.
Connor stood in the middle of the street, completely dumfounded by what had just happened. Old Murphy had never backfired on him like that before, and he'd certainly and always been following his plans and instructions. But not this.
Fuck.
He rubbed his mouth and watched his sibling go back inside with Terry, discomfort growing even more. Connor let out a low sigh and placed two fingers on the bridge of his nose with closed eyes. His heart was pounding, he was slowly freaking out, and he needed a second to calm down. This was the second time now that Murphy had called him a fucking psycho.
What if he was right? He knew what this looked like. It was a fucking mess, but he didn't trust people these days. He didn't like giving people second chances. Last time he hadn't acted on his instincts with the prisoner problem Lori and T-Dog had died. Indirectly murdered by one of those prison scumbags.
This could be totally it again. Bloody murder and all.
But what if it wasn't?
He opened his eyes again and looked at the door to the supply storage once more. What if he was really just freaking out over nothing? Murphy had told him multiple times now that he could take care of himself. He knew that, but he still couldn't stop the freaking out thing. Maybe he just wasn't used to the 'big brother' role anymore. Maybe he was having a crisis. Maybe he really just needed to let Murphy do his thing until his other half landed on his ass after doing something wrong. But exactly this was so fucking risky. What if letting him do shit on his own and letting him do wrong things would end with Murphy getting injured or killed?
Then it would be his fault again, because then he would've failed to look out for his own brother.
Maybe Terry was right, though? Maybe he just needed another hand. Fuck, maybe he even just needed a temporary replacement brother after his loss.
He'd been there once, too.
Maybe he just needed to fucking chill.
"You alright?"
Connor startled violently and looked up.
"Jesus" he gasped and turned around, only to face Daryl.
He was happy to see his friend right now, real fucking happy, but he also needed to calm down.
"What? Aye. Aye. Doing good. You?" he mumbled and started walking to head for the library.
Daryl followed him but turned around once more to look at the supply storage.
"What was that 'bout?"
"Nothing. Doesn' matter."
"Hey" Daryl demanded and suddenly grabbed Connor by his arm to stop him from walking.
"Don't give me that crap. Your mope face ain't saying 'nothing' t'me."
Connor let out a frustrated sigh.
"'s just fuckin Terry, alright."
Daryl turned around once more to look at the place Terry worked in.
"He'll get over it."
"Yeah. Just like I said. 's nothing" Connor growled and then had a look around. "You seen Carol? She wanted ta talk t'me."
Daryl adjusted his crossbow and chewed on his lower lip. He wanted to talk to his friend as well but didn't really know how to start the topic since he still felt a bit awkward around the guy after yesterday.
"Hmhm. Said she was gonna go t'the library, wait for yah there."
"Good. Thanks fer the info. See ye later, aye?" Connor mumbled and nudged Daryl's belly only to turn around so he could head for the library.
He wanted to get his mind off things for a moment, and he really just wanted to be alone and not see Murphy or Daryl because he looked like him.
"Hey leprechaun" Daryl suddenly called after him, though, disappointed that his friend didn't want to annoy him with his endless talk for once.
Connor turned around again.
"When you leaving for the interstate?" Daryl finally asked, giving in after all his previous trying to ignore that his friend had been asking him to come with those stupid looks.
Connor smirked a bit, suddenly remembering that he had wanted to talk to Daryl about that anyway.
"Why, ye wanna come?"
Daryl shrugged.
"Someone's gotta be in charge of the whole thing. Guys like you'd just get yahselves killed out there without me."
Connor snorted and finally gave his friend a full smirk.
"Fuck ye, you know 'm better out there than you are."
Daryl huffed.
"Yah wish."
Connor walked back a bit.
"After lunch. Maybe in a couple 'a hours. Andrea and the others are still trying t'get this thing organized. And 'm kinda busy right now anyway, people gotta wait."
Daryl nodded and shrugged.
"Yeah, gotta go, head for Peachtree first anyway."
Connor grinned.
"Well then hurry th'fuck up."
There was a bit of a pause between them, as Connor waited for his friend to say something but Daryl couldn't really come up with anything to say. He wanted to say many things, know many things. Like, he knew that there was something more to the whole Terry topic. He'd seen the three of them discuss something rather heatedly. He wanted to know what the whole thing had been about, if he needed to punch something in their fucking face, or why the hell his friend was so fucking moody all of a sudden.
This had been the main reason why he'd finally decided to go talk to him instead of leaving town to get the hell away after yesterday night. He'd also given in to his wish to leave with the construction scouting crew because he and Connor –were- a fucking team and he liked going and killing walkers with his friend, which was why he had finally asked him that as well. He also kind of wanted to talk about yesterday, talk about many ridiculous things but he'd never been a talker, never knew how to express something, and he also still thought that men weren't supposed to talk about shit anyway.
So he remained silent.
But Connor talked.
"Y'want me ta come along look fer trapping material together?"
Of course, you asshole.
"No. 'm good. You'd just slow me down anyway. You ain't got no clue what yah gotta look for."
The Irishman huffed.
"Fuck you."
Connor then noticed Carol by the library building. She was obviously still waiting for him, since he'd told her it would only take him 'a second'.
Shit, couldn't people leave him alone for once?
"Anyway, gotta go real quick. See ye later, think the group's meeting up by the parking lot in fronta town hall later" Connor said and prepared himself to leave.
"Yeah, see yah later, leprechaun" Daryl muttered and walked past his friend, even daring to put a quick hand on his belly to nudge him back.
He then quickly headed for his motorbike, eager to get away, pretending that it had been no biggie to him, although it totally had been.