Chapter 11: Innocent Until Proven Guiltless

"Agent Alpha…why was I not informed of this earlier?"

Master Chief had begun to lose his patience; first the flop in Dreamland, then the fiasco on Atari, and now his spy was trying to tell him Timber's Island had been annexed by the Nintendonians, and their strongest outpost outside of their own mainland, the Isle o' Hags, was next on the hit list.

"My sincerest apologies, Chief; as you know, circumstances have changed, so it has taken slightly longer than usual for me to glean the information you seek."

"Yes…I am well aware of these changes, Alpha. But with the one whom you seek revenge upon in our holding cell, I expect more timely updates in the future if you wish for us to release him into your custody."

"Of course, Chief; I will alert you of their every movement as soon as possible. In fact, at this moment, I can tell you the Smash Brothers' plan: They seek to free the friends of the bear and bird, and to use their inside knowledge to build an army and rise up against our regime there. They are based in Treasure Trove Cove and are to split into two parties—one to search Grunty Industries, the other to head toward Spiral Mountain."

Master Chief felt slightly more grateful he'd kept his spy around rather than killing him when he had the chance…but he wasn't about to tell Agent Alpha that. He paced in front of the wide window of his personal chamber, the flashing night life of New Alexandria extending below like…well, there really wasn't anything quite like it. Reach boasted its own special breed of architectural and technological majesty.

"Good. We will turn their own stratagem against them. Their push toward Microsoft will be put to an end once and for all. However…I'm afraid I will not be taking part in this particular campaign; I have other urgent matters to attend to, including the tribunal for our Sonian and Nintendonian guests."

"You…won't be coming? But Chief, the WarioWare Ark is quite imposing, and even with our advance knowledge, we'll need every—"

"Calm yourself, Alpha; I will not be there personally. But I will not be leaving our colony defenseless; on the contrary, I am sending one of our top operatives to head the mission. I am sending…the witch."

"Her?" Agent Alpha sounded incredulous. "But I thought—"

"You thought wrong. After all, if the Smash Brothers are going to use their island allies to their advantage, why should we not do the same? Yes…Gruntilda the witch is very much alive…and with her might and magic, our soldiers on the Isle o' Hags cannot possibly fail this time."

He ended the transmission, pocketed his communicator, and headed toward the emerald alloy elevator. He had a tribunal to attend.

Joanna Dark led the prisoners out to a silver shuttle on a docking platform. They were all secured with electric handcuffs that inhibited any PSI or imagination or other magical powers and would shock anyone who tried to pull against them. Then they all filed onto the vessel, which was manned by several Spartans with Joanna bringing up the rear.

No one spoke. Diddy, intrigued by the woman's past with RareWare, wanted nothing more than to ask her questions and possibly win her over to their side, but he knew with New Alexandria's guards around, that wasn't going to happen. So instead, he and the other prisoners contented themselves with looking out through the shuttle's barred windows at the spectacular city around them.

It was dark, but that made the colorful glow of the flying vehicles, the holographic advertisements, and the sleek building lights all the more dazzling. It reminded Roy quite a bit of Megaland's Central City, with not a pedestrian in sight, shuttles of varying design crossing above and below at considerable speeds while somehow managing to never collide with each other. The main differences between the two cities were New Alexandria's predominant emerald green and silver themes; a genuine night sky as opposed to Central City's computer grid heavens; and a much richer, more creative architecture, such as that of the skyscrapers topped with ring-shaped structures.

Before long, the shuttle zoned in on another semicircular docking platform, which stuck out from one of the lower floors of the grandest building of the city: a massive, round-roofed edifice with a cool blue glow running up the center of its chrome surfaces like a Poptart with radioactive blueberry filling.

They landed and disembarked, being led into another emerald green hallway and to an elevator that took them up at least a dozen floors to their destination.

The courtroom was, again, similar to that of Central City, but of an even more modern design. The walls and floors, a mix of dark green and electric blue panels, gave the impression of a race that accepted nothing short of the best of the best, that operated under the strictest discipline in both civil and military matters, that had advanced to a level of technological sophistication that made other worlds pale in comparison. Several semicircular tiers rose above them, the occupants mostly Spartan soldiers with a number of human dignitaries dotted among them in official-looking uniforms. After what they'd been put through, some of the prisoners were struck by how human these people actually appeared—as if their oppressors' civilian populace surely couldn't be real people with real lives and families of their own.

Master Chief sat on a raised dais at the center, his identity made clear mostly by his assertive demeanor and central position rather than the subtle differences between his armor and that of his fellow Spartans. He stood and waited while the prisoners were escorted by Joanna and the other Spartan guards to benches that made them feel like insects under a magnifying glass.

"We have convened today to right wrongs that have been long left unresolved," he said, his gaze for the most part appearing to be fixed on Snake—at least, as far as any of them could tell from the emotionless features of the amber-visored helmet. "The rights of passage between our worlds have for a time been closed off, and for good reason…but now that the Nintendonians have forced them open once more, we have been given no choice but to take appropriate action, which includes bolstering our defenses, securing our territorial possessions, and bringing justice to war criminals who had been, until now, unreachable. But now, for the good of Smash Planet, our Reach must extend itself to our neighbors insofar as they have obstructed the execution of justice for the lamentable crimes of the Copyright Wars."

Snake couldn't tell whether Master Chief's pun had been intended or not; somehow, he suspected the Spartan considered it more of a poetic coincidence than a joke, a relatable slogan that would appeal to the masses of Reach as they sought euphemistic ways of describing their interference in Nintendo, Sony, and the Islands. He considered retorting, but then looked over at his friends: Sackboy; Toon Link; Tetra; Yoshi; Peasley; Falco; Meta Knight; Samus; Captain Falcon; Roy; Ness; Diddy; Popo; Shadow…he'd be willing to risk his own life if it meant taking a stab at his Microsian nemesis's pride, but not that of others. His impropriety when speaking had already cost enough lives.

"First, the Nintendonians…although you have kept the terms of our truce these past years, when you refused to relinquish the war criminal Solid Snake into our rightful custody, you not only became complicit accomplices in obstructing justice but resorted to violence against us to prevent it, and for that, consequences must follow. You will serve three years in prison, after which you will be granted passage back to your world under the condition that you never venture to Microsoft, Sony, Atari Island, Timber's Island, or the Isle o' Hags again."

So much for a fair trial, Snake thought.

"But Timber's Island's my home!" Diddy couldn't help protesting. "One of them, anyway. You can't forbid me from returning there."

"You should have thought of that before you violated our truce…and yes, we can enforce these terms, with all of the abovenamed islands under our stewardship, save for Nintendo and Sony themselves. Now…as for the two Sonians, Shadow and Sackboy…you are guilty of the same crimes as the Nintendonians; as such, you are also sentenced to three years' imprisonment under the same conditions, except when you are returned to Sony, you will not be allowed to visit the Nintendo World, either."

Shadow clenched his fists within their electric bonds, wishing more than anything he could crack Master Chief's helmet like an egg right then and there.

"Now…Solid Snake…these are the charges being brought against you: insubordination and failure to obey direct orders; treason and conspiring with enemies of the state; desertion; murder; assault; perjury; larceny; smuggling; trespassing; and arson."

"Arson?" Captain Falcon chuckled under his breath, stealing a glanced at Snake. "What the heck were you doing during the Copyright Wars?"

Snake risked a small smirk in response, but kept his eyes fixed on Master Chief.

"Don't I get to plead 'not guilty?' Because I'm pretty sure—"

"Your guilt has already been determined," the Chief said. "This is a sentencing hearing. And with the weight of your crimes, you are hereby sentenced to death…the means of execution that of being offered to the Great Moon Deity through the Pit of Obaba."

The humans and Spartans along the tiered seats began muttering, the general sentiment of their voices sounding like that of mixed approval and pity.

"Are you done?" Snake pretended not to care about how horrible his fate sounded.

Master Chief stared at him for a moment, an air of professional balefulness somehow emanating through his helmet.

"You are permitted to speak."

"Good." Snake looked out at his friends, then up across the watching residents of Reach. "I will not lie. I have killed; I have fought; I have stolen; I have disobeyed; and I have fled. I have even been a traitor...but not to Microsoft's imperialistic rule during the war. No…my betrayal was against my own people, and that was in ever believing that by following Microsoft's orders, I could keep Sony safe from their greedy mouths. Everything I have ever done was to protect my home…" He fixed his gaze on Yoshi. "And what they call disobedience, I call refusing to shoot people who don't deserve it. Had I been their perfect soldier, Yoshi, you would be dead…along with your friend, Mario."

Yoshi's eyes widened. He wished he could remember the circumstances that confirmed Snake's story, but his intuition told him the self-exiled veteran was telling the truth.

Snake's eyes lingered on the Spartans and leaders of Reach. "You all claim your actions are in the interest of Microsoft's safety…and yet as in the times before, now you would once again place your people's lives in jeopardy…and for what? To extend your borders? To conquer all of Smash Planet? To establish your nauseating hierarchal society atop the ashes of your victims? Make no mistake…that is the purpose the Master Chief and his Spartan thugs have recruited you to achieve."

Snake began to choke up in spite of himself. "There was once a time…not long ago…that I believed there to be no hope for my world. No hope for Sony and Nintendo and Microsoft to ever truly find lasting peace with each other. But now…" He gestured toward the gathered Smash Brothers and All-Stars. "Now I know that hope to be real, and I know that my death will not change the truth—that our unity, our bonds of camaraderie rooted in compassion and selflessness, shall always triumph over your pretended union of power-hungry princes. And for that…you will have only yourselves to blame."

He said no more, but neither did he stand down.

"Very moving," Master Chief said, as if Snake had merely been a child making a mediocre attempt to recite the Pledge of Allegiance. "Let the court note that the condemned expresses no remorse for his infractions. Court adjourned."

And that was it. The prisoners could do nothing but allow themselves to be carted back out of the courtroom, down the hallway and elevator, and into the shuttle.

As the door slid shut and they lifted into the air, however, the heroes allowed their horror to show itself.

"They can't do this," Toon Link said, his eyes fixed on Snake. "He was never really part of Microsoft's army; he and Sony were just impressed into it and should've been cleared of all charges when the truce was signed."

"The kid's right," Tetra said, also looking at Snake with concern.

But Snake remained perfectly calm. "Master Chief can do whatever he wants…when he's the one in power."

"This is bull crap," Falco said.

Despite their previous disagreement, Captain Falcon couldn't help but agree. "We've gotta do something before the execution." He'd completely disregarded the fact that Joanna Dark was listening to everything they said, but Diddy Kong was keenly aware of it.

"Joanna…" Diddy tried to catch the woman's eye, but with no success. "You have to believe us. Master Chief's the one who attacked us in Sony; we were just trying to defend ourselves, but he destroyed our ship and killed two of our friends. RareWare's not dead; my whole family and my friends on Timber's Island and the Isle o' Hags would be all for supporting its cause—not to mention L.O.G., the ambassador who came all the way to Nintendo by himself because he still believes in RareWare. Why don't you?"

"L.O.G.?" Joanna's expression had remained rigid until the Kong had mentioned that name. But she quickly shook her head as if to dislodge the idea from her brain. "Clearly you aren't very up to date on current events, kid. Your friends on Timber's Island are all dead or captured. A word of advice: Your only hope now is to hunker down and take your lumps…and then, maybe, they'll let you live."

"Funny." Samus pushed off from the wall against which she'd been leaning and stood up straight. "You don't seem like the kind of girl to just give up on things at the first sign of danger."

"Where are we going?" Popo was pointing out the window, calling to attention the fact that they were in a part of New Alexandria they'd never seen before. "We didn't pass through here on the way to the tribunal."

Joanna ignored Samus's comment, choosing to respond to Popo. "Solid Snake is to be transferred to another ship, which will take him to the Vigoor Empire where he will await execution. We will drop him off and then return the rest of you to the holding cell."

"No…" Ness was on the verge of tears. He'd only known Snake for a few days, and yet it seemed like he and the other All-Stars were old friends. He didn't know if he could bear to leave the man to such a gruesome fate.

During the last few minutes of their flight, some of the least complacent among them seriously considered rebelling. But they knew without their hands or their powers, their chances of long-term success were slim to none. They waited silently until their destination was imminent: a low floodlit rooftop which also served as a landing pad for one of Reach's recognizable gunships. A small group of Spartans stood by the vessel expectantly, ready to bear their condemned cargo to his doom.

The shuttle landed, and the door slid open.

"Please," Diddy Kong said at last. "You don't have to do this."

But Joanna said nothing, simply pushing Snake with her through the exit.

"Don't move," she said to the prisoners on her way out.

They watched from the open shuttle door as Snake was led, unresisting, into the hands of the Spartans.

Joanna began heading back as the soldiers prepared to load their quarry into the gunship.

And then she pounced.

With a sudden backflip, the agent drew two silver guns and stunned the two Spartans escorting Snake mid-jump, which meant she'd fired while looking at her targets upside down. Three more Spartans yelled and came at her, raising their guns, but she made quick work of two more of them, her shadow barely distinguishable from her black jumpsuit, while Snake brought his handcuffed arms around another's head and wrestled him to the floor, strangling him into unconsciousness in a matter of seconds.

"This way," she called to the shuttle's occupants, pressing a button on a remote control that caused their electric handcuffs to fizzle out of existence. She and Snake began dragging the five Spartans, including the pilot who had come out to aid his crew, toward the shuttle. Yet the recently liberated heroes were temporarily stunned with confusion.

"Out you go, fellas," one of the two Spartans at the front of the shuttle said. "We haven't got all day."

Joanna saw their perplexity and gave a quick explanation. "They're with us. Two agents from the Institute who managed to secure a couple Spartan suits. Now hurry up before someone out here realizes we're breaking protocol."

They obediently filed out, Captain Falcon and Samus stopping to help Snake and Joanna fling the Spartans into the prison shuttle.

"What'll happen to them?" Toon Link asked.

"They're going to the holding cell, of course. Most everyone will just see the gunship bearing its condemned prisoner to Vigoor as planned, unless they happened to be paying attention during the few seconds it took us to take out their crew—which is possible, but unlikely. And even if they did see us, by the time they get reinforcements here or realize the holding cell doesn't actually contain its intended inmates, we'll be long gone."

They clambered into the gunship, glancing out anxiously at the hustle and bustle of New Alexandria above them. Fortunately, the darkness would be their ally in shrouding the truth of what had just happened on this platform, but still they couldn't shake the feeling that the Master Chief wouldn't be quite that easy to dupe.

The prison shuttle door closed and lifted off, while Joanna, Snake, Samus, Captain Falcon, and Falco climbed into the spacious cockpit, being the most flight-savvy among them. And just like that, the gunship rose and sped off into the night, hopefully with no one the wiser.

Red, Nana, and Mr. Game & Watch had temporarily panicked when they discovered their communicators had been lost. No doubt it had happened at some point during the chaos off of Candy Chateau and their stay in the Wailord's belly (Red had one on behalf of the two Pokémon Smashers he accompanied). But fortunately, once they found a nice cluster of sandy rocks upon which to sit and convene, Pacman and Bomberman revealed that they possessed a "Game Boy" of their own.

"There's no telling how many other communicators are out of commission now," Megaman said, naturally able to understand Gadd's technology without ever having used it. "Send out an open signal to the Smash Brothers' frequency, and hopefully whoever's still out there with a functioning device will pick up."

Pacman did so, and the Nintendonians, All-Stars, and Rocketman (who told his Atarian army they could wait back in their homely black void for a plan to be made) crowded around the small contraption, its blue backlit screen reflecting off their eyes.

It buzzed for several seconds with no answer. But just when Red was beginning to fear they were alone in the world, a bing signaled a response, followed by a second. Pacman pressed the A button twice to accept both calls and set it to hologram chat, causing the figures of Princess Peach and Professor E. Gadd to materialize above Pacman's hands, the translucent images flickering due to the great distance between the callers.

"Professor," Pacman said. "Princess. Thank goodness you guys are all right!"

"Yes." Gadd chuckled. "And thank goodness no one left the mainland on their own to check up on my cousin against instructions. Whose idea was that? I'm curious." He turned his eyes to Bomberman. "Was it yours?"

But Bomberman just shook his head, pointing his spherical hand at Pacman unreservedly.

Pacman would have tried to argue if his traveling companion hadn't been right. He sighed. "Yeah, it was me. I'm sorry; I was just so worried about my home with that Reeka guy so close to them."

Gadd just chuckled and winked conspiratorially. "Don't sweat it, lad; it looks like your little side quest turned out for the better; although I'm sure Atari is perfectly capable of defending itself, we would've been at war on two fronts now if you hadn't scared Ulysses away. Now, then…"

He went on to describe the current status of the Isle o' Hags and how they were about to head out to rescue their friends and free the island from Microsoft's clutches. Banjo & Kazooie, however, couldn't help but become a bit agitated by the grim news.

"With all due respect, professor," the bear said, "I sure wish we'd come with you; we coulda been a lotta help on our own turf."

"Yeah, what gives?" Kazooie added, without any due respect whatsoever.

"Yes, I apologize; it seems in our rush to get as many Copyright War veterans over to Sony as possible, we neglected the needs of the Islands—although we never could have anticipated that Mumbo and your other friends would return to the island on their own ahead of us, or that we'd be facing such a serious military threat. And that's why I propose…that you fellas on Atari come and join the party!"

Banjo & Kazooie glanced at each other, elated.

"Really?" Banjo said.

"Yes, indeed; with L.O.G. here to give us a general scope of the place, we've got a decent plan, but something in my old hair follicles tells me we'll need all the help we can get." He turned to Quentin. "Bomberman has a transport, but that won't be enough to get all of you across the ocean. Quentin, do you think you could conjure up a way to carry the rest?"

The well-traveled man nodded, his arms folded. "If the Pokémon will it so…and with the turbulence of war stirring up the seas, I feel that their priorities will be the same as ours."

"And what would you have us do?" Peach's hologram asked. "We've been seeking as much Sonian support as we can, with decent success. Should we begin making our way toward the Isle o' Hags, too?"

"Well, like I said before, there's no way you and the rest of the All-Stars would get here in time for this next battle…seeing as it's basically already started. So I'm afraid all you can do for the time being is continue recruiting—which, make no mistake, is of tremendous importance. The time for all of us to converge on Microsoft will come soon enough."

"Of course."

"One thing I still don't get," Dixie Kong said. "How did Master Chief know we'd be in Sony? Did anyone let that slip during the Battle of Dreamland?"

That gave Gadd pause as he replayed in his head all their interactions with the Master Chief during that encounter. "Gadzooks…I don't believe we've ever mentioned it to any of the Microsians at all. But that could only mean that either Master Chief was an extremely lucky guesser, or…"

"Or there's a traitor among us." Megaman said. "The question is…who?"

It had taken all of two hours for Gadd to divide the Ark passengers into two groups—or three, if you counted those who were to remain on the Ark.

Wario and Waluigi, of course, were chief among these, their greatest interest once again being the protection of their property. The Ark would be shielded from sight and could lift off at a moment's notice, but if there was even the slightest chance that a wayward crab might scratch the paint, they would be there to make sure nothing of the sort happened. They were joined by Pipsy, who had no desire to get involved in an armed conflict, as well as Jody Summer and Dr. Clash, who were staying behind with the group of Mute City citizens and Gadd's fifty-odd R.O.B.s in case there was any trouble. The F-Zero engineer would monitor the progress of both other parties and communicate with them when necessary.

Those bound for Spiral Mountain included DK, Link, Zelda, Ruto, Marth, Nyna, Gotoh, Gary, Mewtwo, Pit, and all the Smash Brother armies that corresponded to these heroes. Because their numbers (as well as that of the Grunty Industries party) were so great, they were forced to go on foot, although fortunately, according to L.O.G.'s report, Spiral Mountain was at the dead center of the island—not too far—while Grunty Industries was a bit farther, but they could pretty well reach it by sticking to the coast until they were about two-thirds of the way to the opposite end.

Among those making their way to Grunty Industries were Gadd, L.O.G., Mario, Luigi, Bowser, the Chestnut King, Kirby, Dedede, and all the corresponding armies that remained, which were almost exclusively connected with the Mushroom Kingdom with the exception of the regiment from Dreamland. And thus the Smash Brothers set out to divide and conquer.

They knew it would be impossible for several hundred Nintendonians to sneak around the coast of the Isle o' Hags unseen, but fortunately, L.O.G. knew the island well enough to remember that as they made their way around the southern coast toward Grunty Industries (which was located near the southwestern corner), the only major regions they'd pass through were Jolly Roger's Lagoon and Bubblegloop Swamp, neither of which were likely to pose any militaristic threat to the passing travelers.

They made their way steadily along the beach, Treasure Trove Cove earning its name with a hoard of jewels and gold coins guarded jealously by a giant crab called Nipper, golden music Notes glittering in the bright sun. On one occasion, Dedede reached greedily to open a seemingly abandoned treasure chest—only for the monstrous Lockup to open its maw and clamp down on the penguin's hand. He bellowed in pain, shaking his arm in vain, and it was only when the Chestnut King cleaved the chest in two with his broadsword that the avaricious monarch was freed.

Pressing on (without any further detours), they eventually found the beach curving sharply inland, forming the small bay that served as the serene natural setting of Jolly Roger's Lagoon. It was a tiny seaport consisting of a few red-shingled buildings set against sheer, moss-covered cliffs, the only strange thing being the ominously deep, dark water directly in the middle of the bay.

Though nothing seemed suspicious with anthropomorphic sailors and townsfolk going about their business, Mario and Luigi scouted ahead to check for any signs of hostile presence. They came across a hippo-pirate called Captain Blubber who told them that Microsoft had indeed taken over the island, but their community was so small and remote that it hadn't been considered important enough to merit constant occupation. They met the frog barman Jolly Roger himself in the saloon, who confirmed Blubber's report and expressed great excitement upon hearing of the Smash Brothers' mission to rid them of Microsian control. Satisfied with their investigation, the brothers returned and reported.

The Smash Brothers proceeded through the town, shocking everyone except those with whom the Mario Brothers had conversed. But as tempting as it was to stop for a jug of ale or go for a ride on Blubber's jet skis, they had no time to socialize or recreate. As such, they passed in and out of the port unhindered, the only slight delay caused by Kirby inhaling a polar bear cub's beach ball. He spat it out on demand—only to get it firmly wedged in a sewage pipe, no doubt causing serious sanitation issues for the town later on.

The rocky shore on the other side of Jolly Roger's Lagoon soon gave way to the marsh they'd expected—Bubblegloop Swamp. This time, the shore was too steep and jagged to navigate safely, so they were forced delve into the swamp itself, the stench of caked mud swelling through their nostrils almost immediately as if they'd just walked into a public cow bathroom after a rainstorm. The mixed greens and browns of the goopy ground, sucking at the footwear of all who trod upon it, did not help matters, either.

They trudged slowly through the thick mud, passing by extremely wide tree trunks that ranged from ten to twenty feet in diameter, the sky completely obscured by a dense caramel apple haze. The occasional popping of mud bubbles made them feel like they were all stuck in a very poorly made soup, like a cauldron of frogs being slowly boiled to death.

The end of the swamp was in sight, a faint purple glow suggesting an even less healthy environment ahead, when a gang of short crocodiles cut them off, bringing their progress to an immediate halt. They very much resembled Kongo Jungle's Klaptraps, almost like a bunch of miniaturized K. Rool airships—only, these were very much alive and scaly and slimy—and hungry. They were all bright green except for the blood-red one at the center, who appeared to be their leader.

"Look, boys…someone brought us a snack!" he snapped in a growling puppy dog voice. "Let's dig in!"

Seeing there was to be no negotiating with these creatures, Mario, Luigi, and Bowser took the forefront, letting loose a raging torrent of red, orange, and green flames. And that alone proved to be enough to replace the crocodiles' appetite for meat with an appetite for survival. They snapped and growled and hopped with fright, scattering back into the more liquid parts of the swamp, determined not to venture out again until they were absolutely certain the Hot Demon Magic had gone.

Bowser sniffed. "Another one bites the dust."

"Very good," Gadd chuckled even while he looked in dismay at his swamp-soaked boots. He looked over at L.O.G., certain the computer would find such a place equally uncomfortable—only to be reminded that the ambassador floated well clear of the ground, not subject to any of the wilderness's harsh terrains.

At last, through the trees they beheld the infamous tarn of terror, the dreaded factory of fear: Grunty Industries. The already unstable ground gave way to a veritable lake of purple filth, the level of pollution in both the water and the air unfathomable. Most of them were forced to cover their mouths and noses from the toxic mist surrounding the tall structure, which was situated in the middle of a clearing of decaying yellow trees.

It was built of dull orange bricks with rusted metal doors and catwalks and two ugly smokestacks far above that thankfully did not appear to be emitting anything. The building and its noxious mote seemed poisonous to both body and soul, as if just by looking at it, the bog was slowly siphoning away their life force into its monstrous innards—which, judging by the very real light-headedness most of them were beginning to experience, might very well be true. A few clumps of corroded orange rocks protruded here and there, but the problem was that there seemed to be no safe way across to the large metal doors at the building's base.

The Chestnut King walked up to the edge of the purple moat, pulled out a long bamboo (or sugar cane?) walking stick, and dipped the tip inside. It sizzled immediately, and the islander retracted the staff to find the tip completely disintegrated, the remaining edge caramelized by the highly acidic liquid.

"Hm," Gadd said. "I guess we won't be getting in that way. L.O.G., any ideas? Is there some kind of switch to create a bridge of some sort, perhaps?"

The monitor shook itself. "In another time, it is possible there were safe entrances devised, but it is clear that since Grunty's death, while not as completely dismantled as Cauldron Keep and Witchyworld, this site has fallen into disrepair. I am not even certain Microsoft will have made any use of this place; it is just that there are no other large buildings left on the island other than at Spiral Mountain itself."

"Maybe we should've brought Dr. Clash's racers with us after all," Bowser growled.

"Possibly," Gadd said. "But we had hoped to reserve those for when we most need them: against the Microsian mainland, where their technology is most highly concentrated. No…it's clear that we will not all be getting inside."

King Dedede already saw where this was going, and he went to his instinctive grumbling. "Ya couldn't even have brought your doggone hover car?"

"Even if I'd tried, lad, I'm afraid there's no way it would have fit through those giant trees back there."

"Let's a-go, bro," Mario said, drawing out two orange Mushrooms with quaint yellow propellers spinning on top.

Luigi sighed; he'd been hoping to sit out of the creepy factory tour. Something about the place made him just as tense as he'd felt in Gadd's abandoned mansion. Oh well.

Kirby, in turn, beamed at Dedede. "Fly!"

Dedede looked around at the watching faces around him and relented, realizing he would be expected to pull his own weight on this expedition, and now was the time to prove he was no longer the coward he once was—or that he could suppress his cowardice, at least.

Once the Mario Bros had each consumed one of the Mushrooms and sported red helmets with spinning propellers, they joined Kirby and Dedede at the edge of the moat and pushed off. The latter two simply puffed through the air, while Mario and Luigi had to ensure they maintained a direct course so their gradual descent did not end in a quick but painful death being deep-fried by purple muck. L.O.G., meanwhile, floated over the moat behind them. They all landed safely in front of the rusted doors and glanced back at the other side, where Gadd and the others were waving them good luck (or goodbye, Luigi thought, depending on how much confidence they place in us). And with that, with the combined strength of Mario and Dedede, they forced the door open and squeezed inside.

"You've come to sssave your friendsss…yesss?"

The wispy voice echoed through the wide chamber before they'd even had a chance to take in their surroundings. It was a huge room, with railed walkways high on each wall, and on the opposite end, a giant grated fan the size of Master Hand's television. And yet, the one thing they expected to see wasn't anywhere to be found: the source of the voice.

"We're a-here to stop a-Microsoft," Mario called. "And to a-find a-Mumbo, Humba, Bottles, and a-Jam-Jars."

A long hissing sound, which Mario could only guess was laughter. "I could cite ssseveral building protocolsss that do not allow sssimpletons such as yourselvesss inside…but there's no point wasssting time when I've been inssstructed to do away with you inssstantly!"

A cylindrical metal object dropped from somewhere above, the clanking noise ringing through the factory with ear-splitting coarseness. The tool shed-sized cylinder was covered in a yellow apparatus and several red patches, and most noticeably, a hose was attached to it that ended in a snake-like head, not terribly unlike Negativitron, but instead of a vacuum nozzle, the bright blue flame kindling from its mouth made it quite clear what kind of tool it was modeled after.

"Weldar," L.O.G. stated. "One of the Jiggy-guarding monsters the bear and bird faced inside Grunty Industries. What business could he possibly have with us? It does not compute…"

As the first jet of blue flames crashed against the wall above Dedede's head, singeing the top of his hat, the penguin gulped.

"We ain't gonna have no time to update your logbook if he burns us to a buncha crispy nuggets."

The five of them moved to either wall as Weldar spat several more blue flames in their direction. And that was when those on each side took very different approaches toward their most recent enemy.

From the right, Mario and Luigi wall-jumped onto Weldar's hose, casting fireballs and attempting to punch holes in the tube. But Weldar hopped and spun, throwing both of them off with a mocking hiss.

"Fire isss my element…you cannot harm me with my own ssstrength!"

While the plumbers kept Weldar busy, Kirby looked back and forth from the machine to L.O.G. and decided to take a calculated risk. He turned to L.O.G…and began to inhale.

L.O.G. was taken aback, doing all he could to resist the vacuum-like pull. "Master Kirby…what is the meaning of this?"

That meaning became clear when from within his cloak, a shiny CD spun into Kirby's mouth. He swallowed with a grateful smile and transformed into Cutter Kirby, turned to Dedede, and pointed at the red patches on Weldar's cylindrical body.

"Pop!"

Dedede clutched his hammer, allowing the head to unfold into its rocket function, and grinned. "For once, little puffball, you're makin' some sense!"

The both charged forward, Kirby tossing cutter blades at the narrow spaces between the patches and the body, Dedede bringing back his hammer and unleashing a rocket-powered swing that knocked off two of the six patches at once.

Weldar hissed and leapt backward as steam billowed out from the holes.

"You foolsss!"

He regurgitated a small army of sentient nuts, bolts, and washers (all with eyeballs), which distracted the heroes while he activated an electric grid that crisscrossed over the floor, threatening anyone who made a misstep. Weldar began spitting additional flames, occasionally attempting to pull them into the high-voltage grid by sucking at them like a vacuum for a few seconds.

L.O.G., having recovered from the shock of Kirby's apparent attempt to eat him, dived into the fray while avoiding Weldar's obstacles. His screen flashed on and off, stunning several surrounding foes and giving his mouse time to hop from nut to bolt to washer, taking each out in turn. He extended a few open-ended wires from within his cloaked and zapped several more, coiling the cords around some and straight-up jabbing at others.

With Mario, Luigi, and L.O.G.'s help, Kirby and Dedede were able to get near enough to Weldar to continue their assault. With a few more cutter blades and two more rocket hammer swings, the last of the patches blew off, and the resulting explosion blew all of them away back toward the entrance, Weldar's shrapnel scattering across the scorched room.

Dedede sat up, breathing heavily. "Whoo. That was quite some tussle, don'tcha—"

Weldar's canister had caused an entire metal wall to come crashing down, revealing a hidden cage through which several familiar faces began climbing out.

"It's a-them!" Luigi rejoiced.

And, indeed, it was Mumbo, Humba, Bottles, and Jam-Jars—along with several others: Tiptup the turtle; Bumper the ski-goggled panda; Timber the baseball-capped tiger; Krunch, the Kremling with a black skull T-shirt; Drumstick the overalled rooster; and T.T., a big red-and-yellow stopwatch with hands, feet, and a very literal face.

"Most excellent!" L.O.G. said. "We have found not only the Isle o' Hags prisoners, but those of Timber's Island as well."

Mumbo coughed and came up to Mario, shaking his hand. "Mumbo and friends be mighty glad you come to help," he said. "Now me think we should go before—"

Something huge struck the outside of Grunty Industries, rattling the entire building. Then it happened again.

"Poyo?" Kirby asked.

In spite of L.O.G.'s fairly reliable directions, the other company of Smash Brothers found their journey toward Spiral Mountain rather mindboggling. With DK, Link, and Gary at the front, the Hylians, Akaneians, and Pokémon traversed the short span across Treasure Trove Cove, under the arch that bore a tall white lighthouse, avoiding the hopping clams known as Yum Yums until they reached the safety of the woods.

But the Click Clock Wood wasn't nearly as straightforward to navigate as the beach. They came out into a vast clearing with the largest tree any of them had ever seen (including the Great Deku Tree) rising up toward the sky like a bark-covered skyscraper. Wooden boardwalks circled around the massive trunk, while small brooks and grassy slopes decorated the ground around it.

L.O.G. had informed them that this wood was really one of four identical regions, each of which appeared to be a different season—summer, fall, winter, and spring. Somehow, they formed a ring of forested land around the center of the island, physically taking up four times as much space as any one quarter while at the same time being home to the very same beavers, eagles, and bees in each location, as if by moving from one quarter to another, one was actually moving through time instead. They had come out in the summer wood, but according to their informant, the only way out into the center of the island was through a tree hole that only functioned as an exit during the spring.

In each region, the way they came into the clearing was mirrored by another entrance on the opposite end of the tree, so they followed the brook around the giant tree toward the end of the summer wood. Along the way, DK had to punch a burly blue bull into the creek and Link shot down a couple green vulture-like birds as they dove toward him, but otherwise they passed through without incident.

Next was the fall wood, with the trees red and orange and piles of leaves covering the previously lush ground. Pit took the opportunity to fly ahead and cut down several bucktoothed creatures dressed like Merry Men who charged at him like drunken elves. And thus they moved on.

The winter wood was frosty and frozen and almost deserted except for vicious snowmen who tossed snowballs at them relentlessly. Mewtwo and Gotoh finally had enough of it and used their Psychic and magic to violently disassemble the snowy constructs. As they stepped carefully across the frozen stream, Zelda used Din's Fire to prevent several eyeballed ice cubes from sliding into them.

"Does everything have eyes around here?" DK wondered aloud.

Finally, they came to the spring wood, where life seemed to be beginning anew, the baby eagle cawing from the giant nest above, the beaver busy constructing his subterranean home beneath the water. But this time, they had to actually ascend the boardwalk, which proved more difficult than expected. Their spiraling ascent was marred with many waving Whipcracks—dangling tree roots that stuck out of the bark and seemed intent on knocking off unwary climbers. They were so densely clustered that Marth and other swordsmen had to slice them off every few yards. And even after slowly working their way up, they found a veritable hive of giant bees barring their way out.

"Bzzzz…you strangerzzz venture too close to our prizzzed honeycombs. Prepare to be stung!"

Before the Smash Brothers could reason with the creatures, they found themselves faced with a cloud of sting needles flying toward them.

Those with magic stopped some of the needles, while the Gorons and several Rock Type Pokémon hurled boulders at the swarm, causing the bees to scatter, and archers of varying origin chased them away with a flock of whirring arrows. The Smash Brothers had come too far to be hindered by some overly protective insects.

Finally, they passed through the wide hole in the trunk, the darkness taking them from the heights of the tree to the field leading up to and surrounding Spiral Mountain.

"Was that really the easiest way for us to get here?" Princess Ruto complained.

As if in response, a formation of pterodactyls flew along the distant tree line, coupled by the faint roar of what was almost certainly a T-Rex.

"Yeah…I think so," Gary said.

But of greater concern than the efficiency of their route was the view before them. Spiral Mountain's green surfaces had a sliced spiraling trail winding up to the top, just like its name suggested. A suspended bridge led from the peak into the mouth of a disturbing giant witch head made almost entirely of rock except for its hypnotic emerald eyes. The surrounding ground was relatively flat and unremarkable except for a few small mole hills and what looked like the ruins of a modest blue house in a nook to one side.

And then, of course, there were the Spartans, scattered across the area like gun-toting ants, several gunships stationed along the grass. A pair guarded the entrance to Gruntilda's Lair as if it were some kind of throne room.

DK held out a hairy arm, stopping the rest of them before they came out into the open where they'd be easily spotted. Most of their armies were still in the dark passage or waiting back on the giant tree.

"What do we think? Mumbo and the others could be inside that witch head. Should we make a run for it?"

Link shook his head. "We have greater numbers than them, but most of our soldiers are ill-equipped to take on these kinds of warriors. We need a more subtle plan."

Zelda nodded, her hand brushing Link's arm. "The Hero of Time is right. We must extract our friends with as few casualties as possible."

"Our Pokémon might stand a chance against them," Mewtwo mused. "But something does not feel right…what if this is a trap?"

As if in response, an unearthly cackle resounded from within the witch head, almost as if it had spoken itself. The next moment, a plump, black-cloaked figure sped out of the mouth like a hairball, hovering on a wild-bristled broomstick.

Green skin. Long nose. Purple scarf. Witch hat. There was no mistaking it: This was Gruntilda—back from the dead.

And the worst part was…she seemed to be looking directly at them, a crooked smile stretching across her warty face (at least, that was how DK imagined it from this distance).

"Spartans come, one and all

for we have guests who've come to call!

Bear and bird are gone, it seems

But Nintendo's Smash Brothers it brings

to boot us out of my sweet isle;

well, I say come and stay a while!

Now let us show these Smashers soft

the strength of mighty Microsoft!"

Gunships lifted off; Spartans bee-lined toward them; and small, colorful, fox-like creatures began pouring out of Gruntilda's Lair into the sky behind the witch.

DK and the rest found themselves temporarily stunned. But he tried to take comfort in the sparkling entities that were coming from the lair. He pointed at them.

"Well, hey; at least we've got the Jinjos here to help us!"

The purple "Jinjo" at the head of the formation sped toward them, its dark eyes glinting with none of the friendliness the Smash Brothers had known in the Battlefields.

"I don't think those are the Jinjos we remember," Pit said, drawing his bow as the rest of their army filed out from Click Clock Wood to the imminent battlefield of Spiral Mountain.