A/N: Thanks everyone for all of your awesome comments! This next chapter has Dimitri's apology and a bit of Lissa's POV. Enjoy!

Disclaimer:

Richelle Mead: Haha. I have Dimitri and Adrian.

Me: But Damien is mine.

Richelle Mead: Wanna trade?

Vampire Academy belongs to Richelle Mead!

Chapter 13:

"I'm so sorry Roza. For everything." He whispered, sorrow in his voice.

Why did he have to ruin everything? I had been perfectly fine pretending that there was nothing wrong?Why did he have to go and say sorry? But wasn't an apology all I'd ever wanted from him? I wanted to tell him that it was okay, that I wasn't upset anymore, but it wasn't true.

"Why?" I whispered.

"Why what?"

"Why did you do it? - Kiss her I mean." My voice was steady but I felt my insides breaking apart. The calm in me seemed to be destroyed and replaced by an eerie curiousity.

"I'm not sure honestly. She was there. And she wanted to be with me and I just felt so bad. I hated that I could never love her back. I hated myself."

"And so this meant you had to kiss her?" I snarked.

"No. I was wrong to do that. She wanted to kiss me and I just gave in to her. I was weak. I thought that I would kiss her and continue with life as it was. I wouldn't start anything romantic with her. I thought that you wouldn't see. But you did. And I hurt you. That's what I'm sorry for."

That was a lot to take in. I couldn't believe it. He hadn't stopped loving me back then. He just was too weak to resist her.

"I loved you." I stated plainly, "and you broke my heart."

"I know. And I've never forgiven myself for it."

"Then why didn't you come after me? Why was it Adrian that found me? Not you? Not that I care, I love Damien, he's my life, but still."

"I don't know."

"What the hell don't you know?" I finally yelled., "You left me for her."

"I love her.", he tried to say, "At least I do now." I heard indecision and dishonesty in his voice.

Was he lying? Could it be that he really didn't have any feelings for that bitch?

LISSA POV

I stood on the balcony of the Court Royale palace and stared down at the servants running around below. They were little ants, each doing there job for the colony. They all hated me, I was sure of it. I'd made sure that Moroi could use defensive magic, a campaign that was originally meant to make Christian like me again, and was now something I was truly passionate about. I'd also worked on laws that insured that not all dhampirs had to become guardians. This angered many royal families and my Moroi "friends". I didn't care. They were actually my friends at all.

I stared down at the mountains in the distance and the school that at first held many fond memories, and later horrors unimaginable. I knew that I was crazy. At least a little bit. I hated myself wit a fiery passion. It wasn't as much me, as who I'd become. I'd become a spoiled aristocratic political bitch. Even Rose hated me now.

What had I been thinking that day? When I was so mean to her? She only wanted support, and I failed to give that to her. What was wrong with me? I couldn't even apologize yesterday when she gave me the chance. I even took her to court. I hate myself.

I walked over the the gorgeous royal bathroom designed for me by the best architects, took a razor, and made a slit right down my arm. I didn't get my veins but I still felt relief. A sort of release from the outside world. The pain distracted me from all the problems that were plaguing me.

I looked down at my arm with satisfaction. This was one of many lines carved into my skin. Why couldn't I just kill myself? It would ease all of this pain and maybe I'd be able to apologize to Rose when she dies.

I felt a determination in me as I picked up the razor once more. One, two, three..

Shit! I couldn't do it. Your such a coward Lissa. I hated myself even more. I was so stupid, couldn't even take a razor and slit my own wrists. Why am I so awful?

I picked it up one last time, confidence and adrenaline rushing through my veins. I felt like I was the only person in the universe at that moment. Alone and at peace. Ready to die. I maneuvered the razor to my wrists and just as I was about to cut-

Woosh! All of my suicidal tendencies were gone. Like magic. In fact, I felt better than I had in years. The only way that was possible was if..no way. She didn't. Rose wouldn't have taken away the darkness. She hated me right now. It was impossible.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to me. When I had been in the downward spiral I called my life, after Rose had left, the only solace I found was in reading about St. Vladimir and Anna. I learned that Anna had been able to take darkness from him not only by will, but also unbeknownst to even herself. In times of extreme happiness, or joy, Anna was able to take Vladimir's darkness, and make it disappear. It didn't go to her or him. I had always guessed that since she was so happy, there was no room for the darkness in her soul, so it turned to light.

Maybe I was right. But what could it be that was making Rose so happy? I heard that Damien had left last night. She shouldn't be happy, but rather depressed. In fact, she should be crying hysterically. What had happened?

There had only been one time that I had ever seen Rose this happy. That I had actually been able to feel through the bond and know why she was sending me emotions. I'd never told her that it had happened. It's why I looked things up on and Anna and learned that the connection worked both ways if the dhampir was extremely happy and made the darkness disappear.

My thoughts were interrupted by a servant coming to see me to announce visitors to court. His fluffy red pants made him look as if he'd just come out of a Shakespeare play.

"Requesting audience with the queen, Lord Christian Ozera." He was here? Crap! I didn't look nice. I got ready to ask him to get back together with me. With this new found happiness, maybe I could do it. As I walked downstairs a single thought occurred to me, the thing that had made Rose so calm. Could it be?

Did she just kiss Guardian Belikov?

LISSA POV

What do you think? Did she? You'll have to keep reading to find out!