XIII.

Setting up an arranged marriage wasn't difficult at all—in fact, it was a little scary how simple it was. The two families exchanged signed contracts, which were dictated by clan laws and also had the Okay from the current clan head, and the deal would hold up until the wedding date decided by the families of both parties involved—which was both of my parents and Shisui—who decided that that day would be on my sixteenth birthday and Shisui's seventeenth birthday, respectively. Pretty convenient choice for an anniversary, if I do say so myself.

Only, that day would never actually come.

It was a quiet affair; an official occurrence at the Nakano shrine, sanctioned by Fugaku himself with no others in attendance except for the ones involved, and, thankfully, it wasn't a topic of gossip that spread like wildfire around the entire neighborhood. No one else knew. Well, Itachi probably did, but that was a given since he was Itachi.

The whole thing was...weird. Unreal. I'd always dreamed of getting married someday, back in my first lifetime—mainly just for the pretty, grand dress, even though that was a horrible reason—but the fact that I was engaged and due for marriage was almost…unbelievable.

But, hell, it was another strikeout on my bucket list.

Said list was getting shorter and shorter by the day, in fact. I'd done about all I wanted to in Konoha, stirring up all kinds of trouble and causing problems for pretty much everyone, and by now, the whole clan knew my name. I knew I wouldn't be remembered—maybe by Itachi, if anyone, if he cared to, but at least I'd done my best to leave my mark.

Now, all that was left to do was to wait out the final days of my life, because I didn't have a single regret.

The Fated Day was a little more than a year away.

And, because of it, Shisui's death was fast approaching.

"I can't believe it. You're getting married in two years?" Junichi repeated exactly what I'd told him, eyes wide with curiosity and a bit of doubt as he spun his office chair around to face me—and nearly toppled right out of it in his haste.

It was another boring day and we were looking after the nurse's station on the second floor together, like we usually did. He forgave me for the whole cow-tipping incident after a while, mainly because we saw each other at work pretty much constantly every day and it was too hard for him to avoid me and stay upset over something like that. Still refused to ever hang out with me again outside of work, though.

"To who?"

"Shisui." I thought it would be difficult to talk about to an outsider, or just difficult period, but the name rolled off my tongue with surprising ease. It was fact, more than anything. Cold, hard fact without feeling.

"Your cousin? Weren't you the one who told me it wasn't like that between you two? I mean, I saw the way he looked at you, but you always have that cold shell up so I thought you rejected him too, and—"

"We're a little further related than cousins, actually. Our parents were only half siblings." I shrugged. "And hey, whaddya mean 'cold shell?' Am I an egg?"

"Ah, no! Nothing, nothing." He held up his hands to fend off potential retaliation for the comment, throwing in an exaggerated wince for effect. When I didn't make a move, he relaxed and folded his hands behind his head, staring out across the room in thought. "I mean, at least you have a legit excuse to turn down any of your admirers now. If you even have any more."

I grinned and held up my index finger proudly. "Just got one earlier today, actually. But it's not really...well, it's kinda weird to go around and say 'sorry, I can't date you, I'm gettin' married.'"

"You're right. Using the boyfriend excuse sounds better."

"Boyfriend?"

"Well, he is your boyfriend, isn't he? That's usually how marriage works; you date for a while and, if you really like each other, then you get hitched, right?" Junichi mused.

I'd never thought of this situation that way, but the kid had a point. "It's...not really like that. Clan politics, and all. It's sort of a marriage of convenience between our families more than anything."

"You mean—it's an arranged marriage, Rika?"

"Yep!"

Speaking of the clan, things were downright awful on that frontier. Chatterings of the planned coup could be heard on the streets in plain day in the neighborhood, even if they were only hushed whispers. Everyone looked at non-clan members with unfriendly eyes and—well, technically, I probably shouldn't have been so talkative with civilians like Junichi, either, but most of the time the ones that didn't associate with a clan were ignorant of village and clan politics. The ninja world was on a whole other level and they were perfectly content staying out of it.

"Clan policies sound kind of scary and a little outdated. Glad I don't belong to one." He paused, then leaned forward a little, close enough to where I could hear him speak in a undertone. "Do you love him?"

"I do." His eyes widened—and not because he'd just gotten ahold of a juicy piece of gossip to add to his collection, but because he was genuinely shocked by the reply. It didn't matter if he misunderstood at this point, but I had to clarify it, if anything, for myself. "Like family. I don't mind the arrangement at all."

"Well, congratulations."

Either way, the answer satisfied him enough that he lost interest in badgering me about it.

"Oh, I can't believe you're going to get married, Rika!" Emiko, for the millionth time in the past few months, gushed about my engagement as we sat down at lunch together in the dining room. Even with the clan in turmoil, she still found a little joy within her to celebrate her only daughter's future wedding-to-be-but-not-really. "And to Shisui. I always knew you two would end up together somehow. He's the perfect son-in-law, you know. The perfect Uchiha. I don't think you could ever find someone better."

"I don't think so, either." It was the honest truth. He was a good guy—really good. Great, even. But I knew I could find someone else more suited to my personality. Shisui was leagues too good for me—if things were different, I hoped he would find someone different, too. Someone who could properly return his feelings and not just give him some sham that would only keep him in an illusionary happiness until his death. A genjutsu love.

"Satoshi's very proud of it all, too, even if he doesn't talk about it. You know how work has him lately..." her voice trailed off a bit sadly, and she got that uncharacteristic, far-off look of melancholy in her eyes that tended to show up lately with all the clan was going through.

"Yeah. The clan, it's—" I stopped myself, knowing I was heading into taboo territory, but really, what did it matter? "Mom, what do you think about what's going on right now?"

She was quick to shut me down. "We don't talk about that, Rika. We do as we're asked and support our clan in every way possible. It's our priority, first and foremost."

"Right. I know, I know. Forget I said anything." The Uchiha clan and its loyal members were an immovable wall. They'd all go down together.

She set her chopsticks down on their holder and folded her hands together across her lap, sitting up straight and tall, and cleared her throat in a way that set me on edge because that was part of her mom attitude and something big was coming up—she was gonna drop another bomb on me, I just knew it.

"Speaking of that, I think it's time you left the hospital. Your father and I would prefer it if you were around the compound more."

Oh. That wasn't so bad.

A smile slowly spread across her lips and, god forbid it, she looked excited. She hadn't shown that expression since we went bra shopping together. "That, and there are so many things I need to teach you to get you ready for married life."

"Please don't say that includes the sex talk." I didn't have any problems with quitting my job at the hospital, but spending all of my time around Mother-In-Law-And-Expectant-Grandmother-To-Be-Mode Emiko (I told him, I told Shisui they'd want kids) was just asking for too much.

"Oh, it especially involves that!"

One thing I'd learned in my second life, if anything, was that Emiko was impossible to escape when she'd set her mind to something.

And she really wanted grandbabies.

Even if I was no longer employed at the hospital and mostly remained within the district's walls, there were still ways to avoid the clan. The forest that contained a few of the local training grounds was technically on Uchiha property, after all, and as long as I remained on certain paths there wasn't the risk of walking into a barrage of shuriken or kunai or maybe even right into a katon jutsu (being barbecued to death wouldn't be such a bad way to go at this point, actually).

It was peaceful. It was a forest—just a forest—where time stood still and everything was bland and normal. If I didn't think about where I was, I would forget this was Konohagakure and I could pretend it was just another gathering of woods from back home, void of danger or the impending clan massacre. I could pretend that, on the other end of the trail, there would be a familiar cityscape I'd once known, waiting to greet me and welcome me back.

Where fiction could stay fiction. But—now that I'd seen this world as something real and very much alive, could I ever think of it as fiction again? I touched the rough bark of a nearby tree. It was real. Real, real, real. If I happened to be reborn back into my original world, or, worst case scenario, into another unknown and once-thought-to-be-fictional place, it would still be real to me.

Maybe I wasted my second chance here after all. But, even if I'd wanted to change anything, it was far too late, now. Itachi was in ANBU, the military police were probably already suspicious of him and asking Shisui to keep an eye on him and everyone was paranoid of everyone else while they worked towards their own agendas that would eventually crash and burn and end with the murder of an entire clan.

It wasn't my place to wreck the natural order. It never was. Never would be; I was just a bystander who was supposed to be oblivious to it all.

And, damn it all, I just wanted to go back home. Fourteen years in this place was enough already—if I hadn't been so stupid and just stopped being so stressed and stayed alive back then, I would have been in my mid-thirties. Thirties! I could have had a stable career, a home, a life, contributing to the world and maybe even getting married and having kids, adopting kids...something. But here I was, a teenager again—a useless, helpless teenager who'd never taken anything seriously and just focused on having fun and doing whatever I wanted because this place wasn't mine.

Why couldn't I have just been reborn without the stupid memories of my past life? What kind of deity just allowed a reincarnated soul to hang onto things like that? Stupid; it was stupid. I wanted to get back at them however I could, but in the end, I'd only wasted my own time blowing off everything. Pretending nothing else mattered and that the massacre was my goal; my aim. I was going to die. I was going to die—again.

It would be painful. But it would be quick. And I totally deserved it. I wasn't getting cold feet about it or anything, but—hell, who wanted to die? To be killed? Murdered? I didn't want to hold on to those memories again.

Who was I kidding—I was totally getting cold feet.

Then, I could run. I could run far, far away from the clan, from Konoha, from the Land of Fire, and keep in living for just a little while longer. Abandon it all. I didn't need anything. I could just keep following this path to the outer walls and leave. Keep walking, walking, find a new home. I would die sooner or later either way, so my way home was always open until then.

I was freaking the fuck out. And then I started to cry like an idiot, warm tears streaming down my face like my stupid, traitor eyes were faucets or something—and not stopping.

Shisui would die.

Satoshi and Emiko would die.

Everyone would die.

It would be a bloodbath; a massacre and how the hell could I just flippantly think of something like that as my gateway out of this world? Innocent people would be killed! Women, children, the elderly—every single one of them. The housewives I'd helped. The elderly I'd done shopping for.

They. Would. All. Die.

The stress was too much, aching in my head like a hammer to the skull—like the time I smacked my head against the corner of my desk—and something burned in my eyes, a weird, unsettling pain that—

"Rika?"

The pain stopped.

I glanced up sharply, not even remembering when I'd hung my head or when I'd started to lean against a tree just to keep on my feet, or when my knees started shaking and the snot started dripping down my nose—ew. I quickly drew my sleeve across my face and sniffled dumbly before glancing up at the person who'd spoken, knowing I looked like a miserable moronic crybaby.

It was Itachi. Dressed up in his ANBU get-up minus the mask, as if he'd been training in the forest or maybe meeting with Shisui to discuss clan things before something—my crying, probably—caught his attention and drew him over. He looked a bit uncomfortable at the idea of dealing with a crying girl, but since he was already here, he remained, and stepped a little closer out of concern but still kept his distance and didn't speak again, not quite sure what to say.

Really, I'd never noticed it, but the kid was a little socially awkward. Perfect Itachi had a flaw! Wonder what Sasuke would say if I told him about this little discovery.

A smile tugged at my lips thanks to that thought. I swiped my sleeve across my eyes, wiping the tears away. "H-hey, Itachi! Fancy meeting you here, I, uh..." I didn't know how to make the situation any less awkward than it already was. I mean, I didn't know how to make crying situations better, either, except with Sasuke. Anytime he cried, all I had to do was mention Itachi and the tears stopped instantly. No one else really cried—except the time I made Sakura cry. But I wasn't even a crier most of the time. Only the once, when Kou knocked out one of my baby teeth and Satoshi had to rush me to the dentist to make sure everything was alright—I cried because of the dentist. I hated them and their grabby, prodding fingers.

"Rika? Did you say Rika?" As if things couldn't get any worse, Shisui showed up, jumping down from one of the trees and right to Itachi's side. As I thought, they were most likely having one of their secret discussions about the clan's actions and I probably ended up stumbling a little too close to the site for comfort. He took one look at my crying face and grimaced slightly, but there was a bit of worry in his expression, too. "Hey—you're pretty far out past the neighborhood. Don't tell me you got lost?"

"I—" I took a look at my surroundings and... shit. I didn't know where I even was. Maybe I really had been trying to walk as far as possible and escape the village. "Yeah. I got a little lost. Just a little. Like, barely. I can totally find the right way back by myself."

The two exchanged glances—and for a second, I feared they might've suspected me of spying or something; didn't trust me—before Shisui grinned and Itachi smiled slightly—just a bit. Barely noticeable.

Nah. They knew I was just Rika being Rika. No one to be suspicious of. Probably, they'd thought I was someone else before Itachi caught me crying.

Shisui clapped him on the shoulder. "You can go back first, Itachi. I'll walk with Rika."

Itachi nodded. "Right." Then, he turned to me. "Please try to be a little more careful, Rika."

"I will, I will. Thanks for the concern." We both watched as Itachi flickered away, using the treetops to return home at a quicker pace. I wondered if it was the last time I would see him under friendly circumstances. I mean, even if they did relax a little when they found out it was only me, the tension was still pretty damn tangible. And the niceties were definitely forced.

I really hoped they didn't suspect me of anything. I would be on their sides no matter what, even if I couldn't do anything. The thought that they viewed me as someone who would go along with the clan's wishes no matter what hurt. Just a bit.

Shisui approached—a little cautiously, but only because I was still a little sniffly and red-eyed—and gently set his hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"No." Oops. I didn't mean to say that. "I mean yeah. Yeah. I'm perfectly fine." I shoved my hands into the pockets of my shorts and shrugged to brush off my slip-up. But even if I hadn't said the first part without thinking, he probably wouldn't have believed me.

"If you say so, Rika." He didn't question me anyway and lingered for a moment before he let his hand drop away and walked forward a few steps. "Let's get you home."

I reached out and grabbed his sleeve without thinking. "Wait." He glanced back, confusion and worry clearly prominent on his face. He used his other hand to pry my fingers off of his shirt—and it took a little effort, because I'd been clinging onto the material with more strength than I realized—but held onto them and turned to face me. My hands were still trembling slightly; he could feel it. He knew I wasn't fine. "I, uh, I don't wanna go back. Not just yet." I was being clingy and needy but I didn't care. He didn't mind it either.

"Does this have to do with why you were crying?"

I nodded. I didn't need to explain any further about why, because it was obvious. Everyone knew something big was coming and even those who hadn't been directly informed about the clan-wide coup just yet were aware of its presence. It was something heavy and foul in the air—tension and strife. The district was full of it.

Even if there was just a little more to my tears than just that, it was a large factor.

"I'm not saying I'm afraid or anything, but, well, I'm not saying I'm not, either."

Shisui squeezed my hand. "The safest place for you to be right now is home, Rika."

It was a lie. He didn't know it, but it was. Because home would be our grave. Well, one of ours anyway.

This could be the last time I would ever see him. And even though I'd known about it forever, I still wasn't prepared for that loss.

He was...my friend. Family.

And—I nearly slipped up bad. Almost told him I wanted to run away—almost asked him to run away with me, if only to keep him safe and alive, because he was too good for this stupid clan and if anyone deserved to know what was coming, it was him.

But I didn't. Because even though he was family to me, I still couldn't let go of the old one. Wouldn't. Our priorities were diametrically opposed, so everything would play out like it was supposed to.

"Alright. Let's go home." I pulled my hand from his grasp and folded my arms behind my head, throwing him a bright grin despite my watery eyes as I took a few steps away. "Wanna stay over for dinner with us?"

He smiled—and it was just a little sad. "Yeah. I do."

Us was more like just me and Shisui instead of Emiko and Satoshi, too. Satoshi was staying late for work with the police and Emiko had a meeting with the other mothers within the clan, but she'd set up leftovers for everyone to warm up and eat whenever they happened to come home.

It was a quiet meal. A little awkward. And a little depressing, too, because it could be the last time he would ever eat dinner with my family—or just me—in this house. And I guess I felt it consciously, too, because I went out of my way to be extra nice to him and make sure he had whatever he needed. Like—oh god—a last meal or something. Because he was going to die, he was going to die. Sometime. Soon. In a matter of days. Maybe hours. Maybe just a day. And the juice pitcher was empty. "Oh, I'll get a refill!" I leaned over to grab it, but Shisui caught my arm as I moved to my feet.

"Don't worry about it. I'll take care of this one." He rose to his feet as well and took the pitcher from my hands before heading to the kitchen. I followed after him because I was already standing and didn't really know what else to do. I would feel dumb if I just went to sit down again. Trailing after him like a lost puppy wasn't much better, though.

I swear I could see the grim reaper following after him. Probably just a hallucination, but maybe not. I mean, I had died before. And I did know when others in this world would die. Hell, maybe I was a type of grim reaper. That thought alone caused me to halt in my tracks so I was just hovering awkwardly between the dining area and kitchen, and when he turned around to bring the refilled pitched back to the table, that was the sight he was met with.

Shisui raised an eyebrow and frowned. "Rika, you shouldn't worry. I know things are kind of...uneasy...right now, but it's not something you should let get to you."

"Y-yeah. I know."

"It would be better if you didn't go wandering in the forest alone anymore, though. Especially with your sense of direction."

He was always one to lighten the atmosphere. I didn't know how he could do it, but he just could. And he was dealing with a heck of a lot more than I was. "You're right. I know." I watched him as he moved past me and set the drink back onto the table.

This was such a mundane, homey situation that the contrast was almost painful. I'd only ever been acquainted first-hand with the daily life of Konoha, but Shisui had lived in the world of shinobi for—well—forever. It was something he would put his life on the line for. Something he would sacrifice himself and his well-being for. I wondered just how often he'd been able to live as a regular person, without worrying about bloodshed and missions and obligation. Without having to worry about the future of the village. The future of the clan.

Probably never.

"Hey, Shisui—"

"Hey, Rika—"

We both spoke at the same time. He turned to face me, a little surprised—we both were, since that kind of thing never happened—and I cracked a grin. "You go ahead."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep. Go on." I was going to end up saying something stupid, anyway. Stupid and dangerous. I took a seat and poured us some drinks and he followed suit before speaking.

"You know, in a way I'm glad you didn't become a shinobi. Not because you wouldn't have the talent or anything, 'cause I'm still pretty sure you would've been a killer kunoichi if you wanted, but because...just...there are certain things about it that can even be difficult for someone like me."

Like clan loyalty versus village loyalty and having to pick and choose sides between family and the Hokage. He was talking about it in a roundabout way that I wouldn't have understood if I'd been any old ordinary person, and he probably didn't expect me to understand. Maybe he felt guilty about his decisions. But, really, his Kotoamatsukami would have been the ideal way to handle the rift between the Uchiha and Konoha. Even if it would have branded him as a black sheep and probably would have led to him being eaten alive by his own clan. A single sacrifice was better than mass-murder, anyway.

"I can imagine." I sighed, leaning my elbow on the table and dropping my chin onto my hand.

"What—you're not going to argue?"

"Nah. 'Cause you're probably right. I can't handle things like that." I could barely handle what I already knew. "I can't be like you. You do your best—more than your best. You do what you believe is right. If it were me, I'd probably crumble when I was faced with a choice that had to do with life or death or things that were important to me." I wondered if, in a roundabout way, he understood what I was saying.

He smiled slightly. "I always knew you were smarter than you let on, Rika."

"Not really. People talk and I'm just too nosy to not listen. And, well, if I just put two and two together..."

"Then…you probably already know that I won't be able to marry you after all." He wasn't saying this because he had a feeling he would die, but because he would likely be exiled from the clan and the name of Uchiha, ostracized, if his plan succeeded.

"Yeah. I kinda figured. Y'know—" I paused. "If there was anything I could do to help you, I would."

"I know." He moved to his feet and looked down at me, smiling fondly, before holding out his hand. "Thanks, Rika."

I took his hand and he helped me up before pulling me into a hug. It was brief, but it spoke of grief and parting—maybe just slight regret—gratitude, and...love. He was happy we'd met, spent all of that time together. It wouldn't go forgotten.

Ah, I could barely stand it—all of the emotion. I wasn't quite sure how to react, what to say, what would be the right thing to say, because this was probably our form of farewell, and I didn't want to mess it up or make it angsty or maudlin or sappy. I wanted us to remember each other on good terms, friendly terms. Like things could go on staying the same way they were now, forever.

But they couldn't. It was silly to think of it like that, even if it would be better that way. This was his choice, and he knew what he was doing—he'd made his decision. It didn't have anything to do with me, and I couldn't get in his way. I could only support him like a sidekick and believe in him—even when I knew how it would turn out.

"Thank you, Shisui. I'll...see you again."

He grinned, but it was a little sad. "You're never serious, are you, Rika?"

"Nope." I grinned, too.

It was the last time I saw him.

Note: I bet some of y'all are gonna seriously hate me for this chapter... -sweats- But we're nearing the final stretch! Two chapters remain.

(Sorry I don't always get around to replying to all of you readers' lovely reviews but I really, really do appreciate all of the feedback and comments I get for this fic.

Thanks for reading and reviewing and see you next update!)