Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran high school host club.

Chapter 14: Abject humiliation (:D JAFAR)

A/N: I am unfortunately suffering from a severe case of writers block. Any ideas/ requests as to what you want to happen, I'm all ears (XD And the title was the only inspiration I had for this chapter…)

Kyoya and Kaoru entered the room together, engaged in the conversation they were always having. How to take over the world. Some of their fangirls had caught onto the fact that they were dating, but the vast majority had succumbed to the rumour that Kyoya had saved Kaoru from a terrible accident, which had left him eternally in the older boy's favour and that since then, they had become friends.

As they came in, they frowned as they were met by the usual arguments/ general racket that four of the members were making.

"Tamaki-semapai, stop grinning like a perv. It's sickening." Haruhi said.

"Daughter! Why would you use such disgusting words? Was it Hikaru that taught you such things?"

"What? Why me?" The redhead objected, looking up from his game.

"Seriously. Stop with the smiling." Haruhi said, her face looking vaguely repulsed.

"Why me? Why not Kaoru… or… uhh… Hunny-sempai?" Hikaru complained.

"Hunny-sempai? It was you? Why would you teach my daughter such foul words?" Tamaki turned to the smaller blonde with an appalled face.

"Hika-chan, stop telling Tama-chan lies. It will only do him bad."

"So it wasn't you, Hunny-sempai? Hikaru! Why would you lie to me?"

"I bet he's thinking stupid thoughts about commoners again." Haruhi muttered.

"I only asked why you automatically assumed it was me." Hikaru said to the host king angrily.

"Hika-chan, why would you suggest it was me? Do you hate me?" Hunny said, welling up.

"Hikaru! Why did you teach cute little Haruhi such foul words?" Tamaki said, ignoring everyone else.

A thick wad of paper crashed down onto the table in front of the Host Prince, causing him to jump back, his eyes the size of saucers.

"This is the script." Kyoya said monotonously.

There was a sudden silence in the third music room.

"How the hell did you finish it so fast?" Hikaru asked.

"I had Kaoru to help me."

"Exactly. How the hell did you finish it so fast?"

"What do you mean?" Kyoya inquired, crossing his arms.

"You were alone in the same room as my brother, aka your boyfriend. How the hell did you finish it so fast?"

"Well I'm glad we're your main focus in life, Hikaru, but perhaps you should get a hobby." Kaoru groaned.

"I do have a hobby!" Hikaru protested. "Teasing you/milord and playing video games are my hobbies." He laughed.

"Well I'm glad you're living a productive life, Hikaru. But hopefully I can change that." Kyoya said, dropping another wad of paper first in front of Hikaru, then Mori, Haruhi and Hunny. "You are to learn your lines in 3 weeks." He announced.

"What? I'm in it too, sempai?" Haruhi cried.

"We all know about Haru-chan's acting ability, so why did you give her a role?" Hunny said frankly.

Kyoya raised an eyebrow. "I shall explain your parts momentarily." He replied. Then he nodded at Kaoru who took out a large sketchbook and set it on the table.

"As I said before, our two main characters are Kyohei and Kaori. Kyohei, or Mr. Darcy is played by Mori sempai. He doesn't have many lines, and is quite expressionless, which suits the sempai's character very well. Kaori, or Elizabeth is played by Hikaru. She's opinionated and argumentative, which is perfect for you." He looked at the two. Mori nodded, giving his approval, and Hikaru sighed knowing that he had no choice but to go along with the plan.

"Next we have mister and misses Bennett, Elizabeth's parents. Mr. Bennett also doesn't talk much, and goes along with his wife's upbeat pace, but is known to be kind natured, which is why Haruhi will be playing this role, with Hunny-sempai as her wife." He now turned to these two, who both nodded, Haruhi doubtfully, and Hunny excitedly.

"Tamaki, you're going to be Mr. Bingley, Darcy's handsome but dim witted best friend."

Tamaki frowned. "Why is Haruhi being a man? She should be a female! With a beautiful Georgian dress' and long curly hair"

Hikaru smiled. "Milord, weren't you listening to Kyoya-sempai the other day? It's a modern rendition of the novel." If Kyoya was going to be with his brother in the long term, the best he could do was sort of get on his good side…

"Yes, that is what I had said before, but when Renge-san found out, she scrapped that idea, and advised me that what the fans want to see is waistcoats and petticoats."

Hikaru's eye twitched. Never again am I going to suck up to the shadow lord. He thought, irritated at himself.

Kaoru opened up his sketchbook, displaying his pages of designs.

"I'm rather proud of these, so none of you are going to change characters, you must turn up to every rehearsal, and you will learn your lines to perfection." He beamed, with more than a hint of evil.

"Oh crap, Kaoru's gone all shadow lord on us" Hikaru shuddered in alarm.

"Oh dear. Our biggest fan is criticizing us." Kyoya joked.

"Frikkin' heck. Now Kyoya's smiling. What is the world coming to?"

Kaoru smacked his brother around his head.

"Now I need to do your measurements." Kaoru said, addressing the whole club.

"Why? Don't you have our measurements from last week?" Hikaru asked. "Plus, I'm the exact size of you."

Kaoru smiled sweetly. "No big brother, I think you've gained a little around the stomach…"

"Pfft" All 6 membered laughed, averting eye contact as Hikaru let out a low growl.

"Fine. Be like that." Hikaru pouted, poking his brother in the rib cage. "But I preferred it when you were the uke."

Kyoya shot Hikaru a scornful look, but Kaoru grinned at him, trying to send him a 'see? Look who's seme' message.

A/N: Okay, once again it's short and late ;_; I'm so sorry. I procrastinate. And have writer's block. Yes. ANY IDEAS PEOPLE. If I get any ideas I like, I'll post chapter 15 earlier next week (Also, I'm slightly more inspired by my other story atm. But only slightly. Very, very, very slightly. )