Many thanks to Smoe05, animalsarepeopletoo, harrypanther, aaquater, Guest, PixelLight, Astrid Lokison (Guest), master-of-httyd-fics-542, katurdi, spike-and-spencer, musciallymusical, andyetitmoves, Guest, and lightfootk for reviewing. You all are the reason I'm still writing. :)

Hopefully, this isn't too terribly edited, haha. I checked all the signs and it seems - big surprise - that I'm sleep deprived! I mean, who saw that coming?

Chapter Fourteen: Where The Heart Is

I was in shock.

Not only had Dad betrayed me with going ahead with the decision that we were going to move, but he even had picked out a house we were going to live in.

That was what bothered me the most: not being asked. As if I didn't have a say about anything that happened in my life. It seemed that after the car crash which crippled me and took away Mom, Dad didn't even bother to check with me about anything serious anymore.

I closed my eyes; the thought reminded me of something. Something that had happened years ago.

A memory resurfaced.

"Mom?" I asked, tugging the arm of the tall woman in front of me. I was eight, and we were at the airport, ready to board our plane. "Why do we have to go? Daddy never asked if we wanted to. Why didn't he even…?"

Mom kneeled over, looking at me. "Hiccup, this is a very important meeting for your father. It could be a good thing for us. And we have to go or else Daddy won't have a good chance of getting the job."

"Did he ask you?"

She hesitated. "No."

"Then why do we have to go all the way there? I don't want to… I'm scared, Mommy."

"Hiccup, sometimes we just have to trust the ones we love because we know that they're doing what's best for us. This is important to Daddy, so it's important to me." She cupped my chin. "And I hope one day it'll become important to you, too."

"But what if it's not? What if it's wrong? What if something else Daddy does is wrong and I can't tell?"

She smiled faintly. "Trust me, Hiccup, you'll know. Right down in your heart, you'll know. And if not, come to me first." She laughed, ruffling my hair. "But don't worry about that today. This'll be fun, going on your first plane trip. It's a blessing in disguise."

I smiled back, feeling more confident than before. "Alright, Mommy."

I took her hand, and we boarded the plane.

Wait. That was it.

I needed something - no, someone - to give me the advice I needed. To offer the comfort I wanted. To be the guardian that Dad just couldn't be.

I needed to see Mom.

Berk wasn't a big town. I'd said it before, and it still remained true.

I could get anywhere within a few hours of walking, which meant that getting to the graveyard wasn't far at all - just fifteen minutes. Dad was gone, so that left me some time for a quick visit. I promptly put Toothless on his leash and headed out the door.

Every step I took was another climb to hope. Mom once told me that even if your loved ones were dead, they were never really gone. So maybe she was out there right now, looking over me and waiting to give me the advice I needed about Dad.

I was so lost in my thoughts about Mom, it was only when I stopped walking that I noticed I'd arrived at where she actually was.

Stopping in my tracks, my breath hitched, and for a moment my legs wouldn't work. Somewhere within all these graves was my mother. Cold. Buried. Dead.

Toothless nudged my leg impatiently, and somewhere inside of me, I found the courage to go on. "Alright, c'mon, boy. Let's go see Mom."

Whether Toothless understood me or not, I didn't know. But what I did know was that I was finally ready to see her.

Almost robotically, I forced myself to take one step in front of another. Just to keep moving. I knew exactly where her grave was- how could I forget? It had only been a month ago when she had been buried.

That seemed so odd to say. Was it really only a month?

I pushed my wandering thoughts away. It didn't matter. I just knew I had to see her again. To see what she had to offer.

I closed my eyes.

"Mommy? What happens when you're… you're gone?"

The gentle woman reached out and cupped my chin, a smile spreading slowly across her features. "What do you mean?"

"Someday you'll be gone, won't you? I know you will. I've heard about it, Mommy." My eyes shone with fear. "Why do you have to leave me? Why can't you stay?"

"Oh, Hiccup." She shook her head. "We all have our time, baby. But my time won't be for a long, long time. Don't think about it right now. You're much too young to be worrying about things like that."

"But I can't stop thinking about it, Mommy," I insisted. "Astrid looked so sad at her uncle's funeral today. What if that happens to me? What if you go and leave me alone with Daddy?"

"Hush, now, Hiccup. I'll tell you what- I'm going to tell you a secret."

"A… a secret?"

"Yes. A secret treasure. It's called 'love,' baby. Something so strong that not even death can part it." She squeezed my arm tightly. "I'll always be with you, Hiccup. Whether it's in this world…" Her hand stretched out and touched my chest. "Or right in here."

"My… my heart?"

"Yes, baby. I'll always be with you, in your heart, wherever you go. Always."

I giggled. "Promise?"

Her pinky locked with mine. "Promise."

My eyes opened.

I realized I was in front of her grave.

"Mom."

My knees trembled, and I clutched the stone for support. What could I say?

I started speaking, barely even registering the words leaving my mouth.

"Why… why-why did you have to leave me? Why couldn't you stay? You said your time to go wasn't anytime soon, but… you lied. You did leave."

The carved words on her grave floated tauntingly before my eyes.

~~ VALKA HADDOCK ~~

BELOVED MOTHER, TREASURED WIFE

AND A BEAUTIFUL PART OF OUR SOCIETY

YOU WILL REMAIN FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS

R.I.P.

And that was it. No voice from heaven, no lightning strike. No booming voice from God or spirit coming from the dead. Just the proof that I needed to know that my mother's life was complete, with no further entries.

I sucked in a breath; it was time to talk.

"I need your help, Mom. You'd know what to do- I know you would. You always did, and you told me to come to you if I needed your advice. But now… I... I-I'm stuck. I don't know what's right anymore. I… I don't know if Dad knows what's right anymore. He wants to move, Mom. All the way to Connecticut. But how… how can we just pack up and move away from all we've ever known? This is the only place I've lived. The only place I know I want to be. But… so many bad things have happened here. So, so many. And more things, I know, are going to happen if we stay. But would it be worth it to escape it all? To leave everything behind?"

The sound of my heavy breathing filled the graveyard.

"What should I do, Mom? I know Dad's trying to make everything work out but… is it really the right decision? I don't even know if I want to stay here, but... I don't know if I want to go, either. Like I said before, you'd know what to do. You always had the magic words to say to Dad, and could always take control on what to do. And it'd work out because you took our best interests to heart. I could always count on you because of that."

I paused, waiting for some sort of answer. A sign, maybe. Something to give me a least a piece of hope.

"Mom?"

Silence. Just a wide, ugly space of silence, almost laughing at me for my foolishness of talking to the dead.

"Mom, please."

Again, nothing. No answer or sign from heaven. She… she wasn't here, and even if she was, she wasn't responding.

"Mom!"

My knees hit the ground, and a tear slipped down my cheek.

"Please, just… give me a sign! I need a sign, Mom! Please! I… I need… I-I need..."

I hiccuped loudly, inwardly cursing myself for hoping too much.

What was the use? Mom was gone. She wasn't coming back, and she wasn't going to give me a sign. I had to figure this out on my own like I always did. And what was so wrong with that? I had always managed to handle my own problems. I fought my battles by myself, dealt with bullies on my own. But when the fight was over… Mom was always there to pick me up. Now that she was gone, I could no longer stand on my own.

"Mom, please," I whispered. "I need you."

I waited. After a minute of silence, I was about to give up when something happened.

"Kid?" a voice said.

I jolted. Mom?

I eagerly got to my feet and turned around. But it wasn't my mother. It was only a middle-aged woman with long brown hair in a ponytail standing there. She looked concerned. "You alright, kid? Looked kind of upset, there."

So it wasn't Mom. And now I looked like a complete idiot in front of a stranger. I coughed. "Yeah, I just…" My hand wiped my eyes, erasing any sign of tears away. "I-I'm alright."

She smiled sadly. "But you're not. I can see it in your eyes." She let a moment pass. "You lost someone too, huh?"

I nodded slowly.

"I'm sorry. It's hard, I know. I just lost my father, too. He was a marine. Brave man, never stopped fighting until the end. Unfortunately, cancer was stronger."

"Oh." I looked down at my feet. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. He wouldn't want another person grieving over him, now would he?" To my surprise, she laughed. She actually laughed. But when I didn't join in, she stopped.

I looked back up at her. Hot blood coursed through my veins, and I scowled. How could she be so happy over someone's death? Her own father, nonetheless? I didn't feel that way about my mother. In fact, I felt the exact opposite.

"Hey, I didn't mean to upset you," she apologized.

I turned stiff. "No, I... it's…" I let out a sharp breath. "It's hard. I was just… surprised that you're not more upset about your father."

"Oh, no. I am," she said, and her words were so solemn that I believed her. "But I'm not going to cry over it forever. He's gone, and I know he wouldn't want me to grieve for him and just stop living altogether. He had a good life. A happy one. That's what really matters."

Confused, I pinched my brow. "But, how do you… you…" I struggled for the right word. "Cope? Without him, I mean? Does it get any better?"

She smiled again. "Well, it isn't easy, at least at first. Took me a lot of tears and heartache to find out." She sighed. "Well, first, you gotta let them go. They're gone, and although there's this… ache in your heart for them to come back, they're not going to. But, they're in heaven now- a wonderful place. It doesn't get any better than that, does it? And once you know that... it gets a little easier. Believe me - it's worked."

Still, there was a persistent nagging in my head. "But what if you can't do that?" I blurted out. "What if you think you have to go away and leave to escape from all those memories?"

She frowned. "That's not a good idea at all. One of the worst things to do, actually. Running away never solves anything. Even if it seems like it's the only option left, the best thing to do is stick around. You can't accept someone's death if you never face it, right?"

That made sense. And maybe that was the reason I felt so tied here to stay: because my mom was still here. If I left Berk, what reason would I have to really remember her? I wanted to remember her. I wanted to stay with her, even though she was gone. Just to have that reminder that she was always going to be with me.

And I knew, deep, deep down, that I still hadn't accepted her death as a part of my life yet. And I also knew Dad hadn't accepted it as a part of his, either.

"T-thanks," I said slowly, reining in Toothless's leash and backing away. "You've been really helpful. More than you'd know. But I… I have to go. Not because of you or anything, but… but I have to go and stop something before it's too late. I, um… thanks."

Confusion filled her eyes, but she nodded. "Good luck, kid. I hope you have better luck than you've had so far."

"Yeah, you too!" I paused, something suddenly occurring to me. "Oh, wait, I don't think I caught your name?"

"Really? Huh, that was rude of me. Oh, well, it's Valka." She laughed. "Odd, I know, but who gets to pick their name?"

I froze. Blood rushed in my ears and I vaguely felt myself stumble back.

Valka. Mom.

Valka.

The names. Why were they the same?

"Woah. You alright, kid?" she asked, looking like she was about to rush over and grab me in case I passed out. "You went as pale as a sheet, there."

"I... I…" I shook my head, breathing out heavily.

Focus, Hiccup. It's just a coincidence. The name Valka isn't that rare. It's no big deal. Now, don't act like a dummy and just stare at her. Answer already, or she'll think you're weirder than you already are.

I swallowed. "Uh, nevermind. Sorry, uh, I...I have to go."

"Right." She winked. "Go get 'em, kid."

And so I ran. Out of the graveyard, onto the road, and back the way home.

The sign. The sign. I had asked Mom for help, and she gave it to me. Maybe her intention wasn't clear at first. Maybe she was even trying to tell me something else. And maybe… maybe I was just plain crazy for thinking all this. But Mom's sign meant something. Two Valkas in one small town didn't mean nothing. I had to listen to her.

And now I knew what she wanted me to do.

I closed my eyes.

"I'll always be with you, Hiccup. Whether it's in this world…" She touched the place where my heart was. "Or right in here."

"My… my heart?"

"Yes, baby. I'll always be with you... in your heart… "

Her pinky locked with mine.

"Wherever you go. Always."