A/N: Omg, I've had two people message me about this story and tell me they feel like they're reading JK's writing again, and just, wow, that's amazing. Seriously, that's the highest praise I could ever get for a story like this. I have to thank, of course those people who gave me such an amazing compliment, but of course everyone who's reading this - and especially everyone who shares this story with a friend, or posts it on their blog, etc. You guys are all amazing. This story is for you, so I'm so glad that you are enjoying it. 3 3 3
The Hogwarts Express and the Sorting are going to be done from each of the boys' perspectives, so there's going to be some overlap, but they're also each going to have unique bits as well. So it'll be a little like, if you sum up all the bits, you get the whole thing. This is a particularly long chapter, probably because I absolutely love writing Remus.
His alarm went of at precisely 9:00 on the morning of September first, an irritating buzzing noise filling the room. Not that Remus had really needed an alarm, he had been completely unable to sleep the night before. His trunk was already packed and downstairs by the door, a set of clothes laid out for him on the dresser. As he climbed out of bed and pulled his pajamas off, Remus' anxiety about the coming day grew, filling his stomach with a leaden feeling. What if nobody liked him? What if they couldn't decide which House to sort him into and decided it would be better if he were sent home? What if everyone discovered that he was a monster? The thoughts kept bubbling to the surface of his mind, no matter how hard he tried to shake them off.
"Remus?" his mother's voice called with a brief knock on the bedroom door. "Are you awake?"
"Yes, Mum," he answered, pulling a pair of jeans over his skinny legs. "I'll be down in a minute!"
Remus grabbed the jumper he had set aside and quickly exchanged his t-shirt for it, and then opened the door to his room, bounding down the stairs like a little ball of nervous energy.
"Is breakfast ready?" he asked his mother, where she stood at the kitchen counter.
"Nearly," she answered, turning around to kiss his cheek. "We're just waiting on your father and sister to come down."
"Well where are they?" Remus questioned her, feeling particularly impatient on this very important morning.
"Both getting dressed still, I believe," she smiled. "What's the rush, anyway? We still have two hours until the train leaves and your father said –"
"I just want to get there early, that's all," he interrupted, and Hope looked at him carefully. She knew her son well enough to guess that he was more anxious about going away to school than he let on, and of course she knew that Remus was always early for things, especially when he was nervous about them.
"Well then, I'll just go –" she started to say, but at that precise moment, Lyall Lupin entered the kitchen, holding his younger daughter's hand as she skipped alongside him. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and ruffled Remus' hair affectionately as the two of them sat down at the table, Hope placing plates piled high with chocolate chip pancakes in front of each of them.
"Is there any syrup, Mummy?" Zeva inquired from where she sat, flashing them the most charmingly innocent face she could manage.
"There's chocolate in the pancakes, sweetheart," Hope answered before either of her boys could spoil the little girl. "I think that's enough sweets for breakfast."
Zeva pouted and crossed her arms, which only made her parents laugh and Remus smile. He was going to miss his little sister more than he could imagine while he was at school.
"Ree, can I go with you?" she addressed her brother, using the pet name she had given him as a toddler and practically melting his heart with her sweetness.
"I wish," he smiled sadly, tugging her closer to his side as he continued to eat his pancakes. "But I'll be back home before you know it, and you'll have had such a good time without me, you won't be able to wait for me to go again."
He hoped, as he said it, that it was a lie, that she would miss him as much as he would miss her and that she would be overjoyed to see him again when the Christmas holidays finally arrived. If he hadn't been expelled by then. The thought popped unbidden into his mind, and suddenly he was more anxious than before, unable to sit still. He shoved the last of his pancakes into his mouth and waited very impatiently for the rest of his family to finish their breakfast. By 9:45 he was practically bouncing out of his seat, so Hope and Lyall decided that it was time to get a move on. They Floo'ed to the apartment of one of Lyall's coworkers, who lived only a few blocks from Kings Cross, and then walked the rest of the way. By the time they were standing in front of the barrier to platform 9 ¾, Remus wanted nothing more than to get on the train and get it all over with. He walked quickly toward the large, brick barricade, knowing in his mind that he would not collide with it (though it was slightly hard to believe, for it looked very solid), his father's arm around his shoulder. He passed through it as though there were nothing there, just as his father had said he would, and when Remus looked around at the platform, he was amazed.
A scarlet steam engine puffed thick smoke from it's front pipe, though it looked as though it had only recently been started, judging by the relatively small amount of smoke that had accumulated in the air above the platform.
"No fair!" Remus heard his little sister whine as she and his mother appeared through the magical barrier. "I want to go too!"
"You're too young," Remus said soothingly, turning around to stroke Zeva's hair. "But I promise to write you letters so often, you won't even know I'm gone, alright?"
The young girl nodded and sniffed, trying not to cry.
"Want to come help me choose a compartment to sit in?" he asked her, and her eyes immediately brightened.
"Can I, Mummy?" she asked, turning excitedly to look at her parents.
"Alright," Hope answered, smiling at her children. "But don't take too long."
Remus and Zeva raced off toward the nearest door of the train, with him pulling his trunk and her holding onto his free hand as though it were a lifeline. She led him up and down corridors until finally she settled on a compartment that she liked because it felt friendly to her. Remus obligingly lifted his trunk into the luggage hold of the compartment, and then he took her by the hand again and led her back toward their parents. As they stepped off the train, Remus could see that a few more people were slowly starting to trickle onto the platform with their parents, and his anxiety grew.
"Right," he said, turning to his mother and father bravely, "I suppose I should say goodbye then."
"Darling, there's still some time until the train leaves, you don't have to –" Hope started, but she knew from the beginning that she was fighting a losing battle.
"No, I – I don't want to keep you," Remus said, giving them a weak smile. "Dad needs to get to work."
"I can stay for a while," Lyall told his son, but the young boy shook his head resolutely.
"No, that's alright, I should get settled on the train anyway," Remus answered, and he pulled his sister in closer for a hug.
"Do you want us to stay until it leaves?" Hope asked her son as she gave him a tight hug, trying not to let the tears spill from her cheek as she thought about leaving her little boy.
"No, I'll be okay," he told her, sounding much braver than he really felt.
"Well," Lyall said as he looked at Remus, looking as though he felt completely at a loss for words. "You'll, er, you'll write and tell us what house you've been sorted into?"
"Yes, Dad," Remus answered, wrapping his arms tightly around his father's waist.
"Good, good," Lyall replied uncomfortably. He had never had to say goodbye to his son like this before, knowing that it would be months, not hours, until he saw him again. It was harder than he had expected.
Remus pulled away, his small body overflowing with emotion, and he felt the only way to deal with it was to get away and retreat to the privacy of his compartment. He stepped onto the train and turned around to wave to his parents once more, noting the glassy look in his mother's eyes that meant she was close to crying, and the tears falling freely from his little sister's eyes. A pang of guilt struck him at the sight, but he forced himself to keep walking. When he reached the compartment they had picked out earlier, he sat down next to the window, resting his head on the cool glass. He checked, but he couldn't see his family, and he surprised himself by thinking it was a good thing – he wasn't sure he could bear to sit and look at them for another forty five minutes until the train pulled away. He watched the platform fill with more families, some with children who looked his age, others with teenagers who gave them nonchalant side-armed hugs before rushing off to join their friends. It wasn't long before the lack of sleep caught up with him and he felt his eye lids grow heavy and fall, drifting off into a deep sleep.
Remus woke with a start to the sound of raucous laughter, the hearty chuckle of one boy and the booming bark of another. He blinked his eyes open slowly, finding, much to his surprise, that he was no longer alone in the compartment. Two boys who looked almost like they could be brothers sat on either side of the door playing a game of Exploding Snap.
"Morning sleepyhead," the boy nearest him said with a grin before turning back to the game. He had a shaggy head of curly black hair that hung long and unkempt, and he looked like the kind of person who always had a mischievous thought stewing in his mind.
"It's afternoon," Remus answered quietly, feeling shy as he looked out the window. The sun was low in the sky, telling him that he had slept for quite some time. Still, he felt tired. The full moon was only a few days away and he could already feel it draining his body. The effects seemed to start earlier and last longer as he got older – apparently turning into a fully adult werewolf was more damaging to the body than turning into a cub.
"How long were you there?" the second boy asked, looking at Remus with something close to suspicion, and it made him shrink back closer to the window. "You must have gotten here really early if you fell asleep so fast."
"My parents had to get to work," he lied easily, not wanting to tell them the truth – that he had been too anxious to wait. "Why'd you sit here?"
"Everywhere else was full," the boy with the straight, black hair shrugged, and Remus nodded, deep in thought. They hadn't chosen him, they just wanted an empty compartment. "Is it – is it alright that we came in? We didn't want to wake you –"
"Yes, it's fine," Remus said, trying to hide the hurt that had bloomed unwanted in his chest. He should have known better than to hope that they would be friends.
"What's your name?" the curly-haired boy exploded suddenly, after the three of them had been quiet for a few minutes.
"Remus Lupin," he answered, giving the boy a shy smile, and his heart leaped when he got a wide grin in return.
"I'm Sirius," the curly-haired boy said enthusiastically, "and this is James. Black and Potter, respectively. Do you want to play?"
"You wouldn't mind the intrusion?" Remus asked after a moment's hesitation, and he eyed James with some apprehension. The second boy didn't seem like he had quite taken a liking to him yet, and Remus didn't want to push his luck.
"'Course not, mate," Sirius laughed, the same barking sound that Remus had heard before, and it sounded like friendship. "Besides, it was us who intruded on you!"
"Yeah, please, come play if you like," the other black-haired boy added, and Remus hear the welcoming note in his voice, though he suspected that this boy - James, he reminded himself – was just as desperate for a friend as he was, and very badly wanted Sirius to like him.
Remus inched over carefully to where Sirius and James sat, as Sirius reached up into his luggage and pulled out a small, collapsible table. He was careful to leave some room though, not wanting to push his presence on the other boys too much. He could tell they were already on their way to being best friends, and told himself repeatedly that their friendship likely would not include him.
"So," James started carefully, as though he were nervous to broach the topic, as he dealt out cards to each of them. "Do either of you know what house you'll be sorted into?"
Remus waited for Sirius to answer, assuming that James was more interested in his answer, but he remained quiet, and when Remus looked over, he saw that the other boy had grown solemn, a darkness clouding his features.
"My – my dad was in Hufflepuff," Remus started shyly, looking between Sirius and James carefully. The latter looked interested in what he was saying, but Sirius was staring resolutely at the cards in his hands, as though he might cause them to burst into flames with enough concentration. "I think he wants me to be in Hufflepuff like him, but he always said I was as smart as any Ravenclaw he ever met."
"Ravenclaw's pretty good," James smiled, looking rather excited. "My father was a Gryffindor, pretty much the whole Potter family. Mother didn't go to Hogwarts though, they met after school. I really hope I'm in Gryffindor too. What about you, Sirius?"
He turned to face the curly-haired boy, and Remus watched carefully as Sirius seemed to battle with something within himself. He never looked up from the cards in his hands, but his face seemed to harden as he finally spoke.
"My entire family were in Slytherin, I'm surprised you don't know."
"You're one of those Blacks," James said suddenly, comprehension dawning on his face.
"I'm not like them," Sirius answered, sounding very agitated, and Remus thought he looked like he might jump up and fight them in a heartbeat if they dared to disagree with him. "I hate them!"
"Fair enough, mate," James shrugged, and Remus smiled warmly.
"You – you don't care?" Sirius asked, sounding slightly awestruck, his grey eyes searching them.
"You aren't your family," Remus answered, his voice quiet and timid, not sure if he was saying the right thing. Sirius eyed him carefully for a second, and then his face broke into a wide grin, his eyes crinkling completely.
"You know, Remus, I reckon you are smart enough to be in Ravenclaw," he laughed, knocking his shoulder gently with his fist, and Remus smiled back at him.
After some time, a fight broke out in the hallway, and Remus watched on in awe as James and Sirius stood up to a blond boy nearly twice their size and clearly fond of bullying, all to defend a small boy none of them had seen before. The boy had clearly recognized Sirius' name, and used it to irritate him further, but in the end, it appeared the reputation of the Black family was enough to indicate that Sirius was not someone to mess with, and they were left alone.
"You can join us, if you want," James offered apathetically, as he and Sirius reentered the compartment, but the boy just stood in the doorway, looking terribly unsure.
"Either come in or sod off," Sirius snapped, his temper ignited by the bully's words. "Either way, shut the door."
The small boy scurried inside, taking the seat opposite Remus and looking between the three of them nervously. He seemed scared out of his mind, as though he wasn't sure that they would be any better than the last boy he'd encountered.
"What's your name?" Remus asked, trying to set the newcomer at ease.
"Peter," he squeaked, though it was so quiet, Remus was honestly not sure he had heard correctly.
"I'm Remus," he introduced himself, reaching out a hand to shake, and then jerked his head toward the two sitting next to him. "That's Sirius and James. We're all first years too."
"How did you know -?" little Peter asked, but James' laughter cut him off.
"No offense, mate, but you're a little titchy, aren't you? Bit hard to believe you're even eleven."
Remus laughed lightly as he watched a rosy flush spread across Peter's cheek. It felt good to be sitting with these boys, it felt like he finally had friends. You're not going to be in the same house as them, he reminded himself sternly. Even so, they hadn't hated him right away, and if they liked him, surely others would too. Perhaps things won't be so bad after all, he thought to himself as the train pulled into Hogsmeade Station, and the boys (minus Peter, who had gone back to the compartment where his luggage was) jumped off the train together, looking around excitedly for the castle they would soon call home.