NB: The truth will out. Or at least some of it. It's what you've been waiting for, right? There is descriptive abuse in the following chapters. Thank you all for your comments, I'm so flattered by them all. Thank you so much. I thought as a thank you I'd post another chapter.

Chapter 14

They walked out and up the hill toward the open space where Adam and Father Philip had watched her carrying out her ritual.. He had with him some food and wine which he had ordered when they were having breakfast.

"I need you to trust me, as all I want to do is bring you back to a life of happiness, which I suspect was not the case before. Do you trust me?" he asked.

"Oh yes, I trust you. I've known that from the first."

"Well then, I want to know what the scattering of petals was about. I watched you do this the first day I saw you, and again with Father Phillip yesterday." Adam questioned, as they walked her to a spot that was pleasant with a view of Winslow below them.

"Oh that is just something I do when I'm down. It brings me comfort to be in a place that is quiet and beautiful. It will take some time to get to that as I need to start at the beginning. It's a long story." Mary voiced, wondering how on earth she was to tell him about her life, leaving out what she didn't want him to know.

"We have as long as it takes, Mary. I promise you I will understand. I already told you your past will not matter to me" Adam said reassuringly, "but I feel you need to tell it to enable you move on with your life as you should."

Adam sat down on the grass and held his hand out for Mary to join him. She did, but not without a grimace. She decided to turn onto her side, facing Adam. He smiled.

"I'll try. To begin with I have to ask you to make me a promise."

"A promise, what kind of promise?" asked Adam, suspiciously.

"Oh nothing very much. I need you to promise me that whatever I tell you will go no further. That you won't tell another living soul."

"Yes, I can promise you that."

"Not even to your family. Promise?" she asked, swallowing.

"Not even to my family. I promise." Repeated Adam.

"And please try to not interrupt me, if you do I won't be able to finish my story."

Adam and Mary looked each other in the eye, and she could see the love he held there. He nodded and smiled, putting her at her ease.

"Alright, first I must tell you something I know you will not believe, but it is the truth you will be hearing. I don't have a name and I don't know how old I am."

"But…" Adam started. Mary gave him a look. "Please, don't interrupt me."

"Sorry" he said.

Mary took a deep breath, and taking her time, began. "Alright. I was born on a ranch, oh not one like yours, but a sheep ranch. No one ever called me by name, only 'you there', 'hey you', 'hey kid', things like that, but never a name, even my mother only called me 'daughter'. Birthdays were something else, if you've never heard of them or had one, you never miss it. It was something I never thought about until just recently. By the time I was able to talk and understand, my father took me to the foreman and told him to teach me all there was to know about sheep. And I mean from the very beginning to the very end. I was expected to be able to do everything. The worst part of all, of course, was the…slaughtering… I won't go into details, but I can tell you that it caused me to cry a lot. The screaming was the worst."

"Mary, I have to interrupt, you're going to need some wine to keep going." While Adam was pouring the wine he asked, "about how old do you think you were at that time?"

"I don't really know the time it began, but later I think I remember that I had lost my two front teeth." she smiled. "So that would make me around six or seven maybe."

Adam handed her the wine and she took a long sip. "Not too much at once" he said, "or it will go to your head."

"Ok." Mary took another deep breath. Adam could see how much this was hurting her but felt at the end she would feel much better.

After swallowing some wine, Mary went on. "One day the foreman sent me to the ranch house to fetch something and I went in through the back door which led to the kitchen. I must have been quiet as my mother didn't notice I was there. She was at the stove with her back to me. When she turned around and saw me she almost jumped out of her skin and I started to cry because I could see she had lost an eye, or at least I assumed she had. To a child that is what it looked like. Her face in fact was so swollen over and under her left eye that it had covered her eye completely and of course it was black and blue. I was crying hard while asking her what had happened to her face. She told me she was having trouble with her vision and that she had walked into a door. And I believed her, why wouldn't I, she was my mother and mothers don't lie. I offered to make sure all the doors were kept open in future so that it wouldn't happen again. A little time after that my mother was dead. I guess he hit her once too often and too hard. She was gone…and…and…I took her place."

Mary's eyes welled up with tears. Adam moved closer to her and put his arms around her, comforting her, but saying nothing, hoping she would feel his love. And she did. He was going to help her through this. She took another sip of wine.

"Go on" Adam gently whispered.

"From that time on my father kept telling me that I was bad and needed to be punished for my misdeeds. But I never knew what I had done, but it didn't seem to matter to him, he just went ahead and punished me. At first he would spank me, and it must have hurt as I do remember crying a lot. And this happened most days. But a time came when I was a little older and bolder. I shouted at him, wanting to know why he kept punishing me for things I didn't know I had done."

"Is that why you asked Father Philip if it was possible for someone to do bad things and not know what they had done?" Adam quietly asked.

"Yes. But that day I went too far in my respect of him, in his eyes, not that I ever respected him of course, and cussed at him. He caught hold of me by the collar and marched me out into the back yard. Just like you did last night. He threw me down over the tree stump on which I chopped the wood. And he told me not to move. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him take his belt off and he used that on me that day. I know I screamed and cried something dreadful. His punishments had never hurt that much before. When he was done, he told me that from now on that is what I could expect for misbehaviour. Also he told me he didn't expect me to cry or scream, because if I did he would give me a double dose."

"Is that why there were no tears last night?" Adam asked.

"Yes, I suppose so. I had to learn to hold out on the crying and screaming. But as you can imagine it didn't always happen and I got the promised double doses. But eventually I managed but only with quiet tears."

Mary took another sip of wine and downed what was left in her glass. And held out her glass for more.

"I don't think you should. You're not used to wine? Otherwise you are going to have trouble later on today?" Adam said smiling.

"If I don't, I won't be able to go on."

"Very well, but only one more glass." He said pouring out another round, but purposely not completely filling her glass. "Perhaps you should have a little something to eat as well. It might help you to not get a bad head. Anyway it's getting on for lunchtime in any case."

"Ok. I could do with a rest, if that's alright with you."

"Yes, that fine."

Adam brought out a couple of chicken legs and some bread and cheese. Mary ate sparingly, but felt better once she had eaten, but her eyes felt very heavy and before Adam knew it she had fallen asleep, with her head in his lap. He looked down at her and realised more and more how much he wanted to help in her path to recovery and into a normal life. He knew that he loved her and wanted to care for her for the rest of his life. He needed her too, someone to talk seriously with and argue with, knowing that there must be a bit of 'Mary Kelly' in there somewhere. Life would be interesting to say the least. But Adam knew he had to move slowly, not wanting to frighten her, wanting her to know he cared.

An hour had gone by when Mary woke from her nap.

"Why did you let me sleep so long, Adam?" Mary said as she tried to sit up. There was no reply. She could see that Adam too had fallen asleep, sitting up? How can anyone fall asleep sitting up she thought.

"Adam, Adam" She quietly said, and shook his shoulder a little.

"Oh… hi…I must have dropped off too," he said, yawning and stretching his arms.

"Adam do you mind if we stop for today. You did say we might be here for a few days, right? But I do feel ashamed of having to be in the same room with you again. Could we make other arrangements?" Mary asked.

"No," he said a little sternly, "while we're here everyone believes you are my wife, only Father Philip knows the truth and he has given me his trust to do the right thing and I will." Then in an encouraging voice, "But yes, we can stop for now and just enjoy the day. D'you feel up to a little walk?" he suggested.

"Yes, fine. But not too far." She managed to get up on shaky feet. "You were right, my head does feel odd and right again, I'm not used to drinking wine or anything else for that matter."

They cleared up the remains of the food and wine and leaving the basket behind, headed on up the hill and eventually sat and looked at the scenery around them.

"The Ponderosa is so much more beautiful than this, with the lake, as well as…"

"…as the Ponderosa pines and their wonderful smell. I did take it all in when you took me to your home, although I pretended not to care."

They made general talk about all sorts of things, especially of the books that she loved. There were silent moments as well, but this did not seem to worry either of them.

"I must tell you how wonderful the concert was and how well you played and sang." Adam said in admiration of her. "I think the children adored you too. You must have worked very hard to accomplish the standard of singing we enjoyed."

"Thank you Adam. Yes, the children were marvellous and I think enjoyed their singing."

Finally as the day began to turn to evening they began to make their way back down to the picnic site, picked up the basket and headed back towards Winslow town and the hotel, and Mary once again tried to talk Adam into having separate rooms, but to no avail. They ate dinner and eventually retired to their room, just as the night before.