Falman Jokes

"Second Lieutenant, are you finished with my Ishval report?" Falman asked.

"Yes," Riza answered, grimly. It was a good thing she'd stayed late to read it a few days ago after everyone else had gone home. She'd thrown it down on the table a couple of times, on the floor once, and cursed like a soldier several times.

Vato saw her expression and had to agree with Fuery. She could look pretty scary sometimes. "Er, could I have it back, sir?" he asked. "Second Lieutenant Breda wants to look at it."

"Oh," she said. "I gave it to Havoc to read. I'm afraid you'll have to check with him, Warrant Officer."

Vato went over to where Havoc was checking the guns in the cabinet. "Second Lieutenant Havoc, Second Lieutenant Hawkeye said you might still have my report?" he said. Havoc looked up and his usual grin was humorless. "That's a lot of Second Lieutenants," he said. "Why don't you just call me Havoc around here?"

"Yes sir," said Vato, who had been thinking the same thing. He started to smile, but Havoc's still humorless grin stopped him.

"Just a sec, I'll get it for you," Havoc said. He put the gun he'd been inspecting back together, replaced it carefully in the cabinet and locked the cabinet.

Hawkeye had warned him he wouldn't like it and that he shouldn't read it around other people, so Jean had taken it outside to read. Before he'd brought it back to the office, he'd gotten most of the dirt off of it, except one place where his boot print was still visible. He dug the report out of a stack of papers and handed it to Falman with one word, "Bastards."

Vato hadn't expected the Ishval vets to like the report, for reasons completely different than Central had had, but he hadn't expected such a physical reaction to the report itself. He brought it over to Breda, who'd been watching Hawkeye's and Havoc's reactions.

"Has Mus-, the Lt Colonel seen this too?" Breda asked, trying to straighten out one of the crinkles on the first page.

"I haven't given it to him," said Falman. "You might want to check for scorch marks."

Fuery was the first to react, giggling. Then Havoc's grin changed to its usual good humor and he chuckled. Hawkeye was last, because she wasn't sure how the dignified Warrant Officer would take it. But Fuery was the last person she could imagine laughing at anyone and he seemed closer to the Warrant Officer than the rest of them. She added her snicker to the rest.

The result was an escalation of hilarity, until they were all laughing unabashedly out loud. Which was the state Roy found them in when he entered the office after the meeting with Grumman that Hawkeye and Falman had roped him into. The two of them would probably also have a stack of forms for him to fill out or sign or stamp as well.

"Want to let me in on the joke?" he asked as he made it to his desk. Yes, there was the stack of forms, each with a paper clipped note telling him what to do with it.

Havoc and Fuery went dead silent. Mustang did not looked pleased. Falman, who had been rather pleased with himself, followed suit when he saw Fuery's face. Breda watched everyone, wondering what Mustang's reaction would be.

But Hawkeye wiped her eyes, which had teared up from the laughter, and said simply, "We were laughing at you, sir. Falman made a joke."

Falman went stiff and for a moment hated Hawkeye. He had thought they were working well together and now this betrayal?

"Really?" Roy said. "Congratulations. What - ?"

By that time, though, Riza had seen Falman's horrified expression. She gave the Lt Colonel an almost imperceptible shake of the head and mouthed "later."

Roy picked up on it. "Okay, people," he said, "I'm not going to roast you. Back to work. If I have to go through this crap, so do you." He made a face as he reached for the first form on the stack. Falman made a joke! That must have been something. He chuckled to himself.

Everyone else picked up on the Lt Colonel's improved mood, Falman last of all, as usual. Everyone else also noticed that Hawkeye had been the only one who had not been afraid of the Lt Colonel's reaction. And Breda was the only one who wondered just how close the Hero of Ishval and the Hawk's Eye actually were.