Austin's POV
I must've been staring at Ally for longer than necessary because she murmured timidly, "Your door was open."
I couldn't quite make sense of what was going on. Was I dreaming? I mean, I never exactly expected to wake up to Ally. Not saying that I'm not happy she's here. "You're...in my room." Well, no shit!
"Yeah," Ally replies awkwardly. I could hardly see the look in her eyes due to it being so dark, but I could tell that she must've felt a little bit uncomfortable. I mean, she did sort of break into my house and she wasn't denying that matter either. "Um...It's 3 P.M. What are you still doing in bed?" she questioned me, searching my face for answers.
"Better question: What are you doing in my house?" I blurted.
"That's beyond the point, Austin," she replied, her jaw twitched slightly. Was she avoiding my question? Suddenly, Ally performs the biggest dick move I've ever seen: She turns on the lights.
I cried out in hysterical pain, grabbing at my eyes that ached while I dug them further into my pillows, trying to aid them from their recent trail of pain. I could feel her stare drilling into my figure, but for the first time I didn't shiver from head to toe; I was too busy writhing in pain. After a couple moments, I decide I don't want to look completely like a moron and slowly lift my head. It squint at her, still unable to open my eyes fully.
"Do you mind?" I spat at her, wondering why she would turn on the light's so suddenly. She only shrugged in response. "You shouldn't even be here. How'd you even get in? Did Dez forget to lock the door? Wait, you shouldn't have even come in here even if the door was unlocked!" I unloaded on her, my thoughts spinning faster than my mouth was able of uttering.
"I knocked for, like, five minutes?" she said, "There was no response." she added, as if to say that it was completely okay that she walked in. I guess it really wasn't a problem that she walked in. She's trustworthy, she's my friend.
"So, you just...walked in?" I couldn't help replying.
"Well, Yeah," she nodded, "I didn't think you'd get mad, obviously I have been proved wrong so I'll just..." she said awkwardly as she turned towards the door knob. The automatic lurch in my chest told me that I didn't want her to leave, that I liked that she was here.
"No, Ally, wait!" I sighed, "I'm not mad. Just stunned. I mean you're...you're in my room." I said, still trying to make sense of everything. I couldn't believe she was in here without being invited over. Does that mean she was thinking about me? Why does that make me feel warm inside? Oh, no, Ally's turning me into a chick.
"Have you been out of bed at all today?" she questioned, folding her arms in front of her chest. Her questioned left me feeling slightly annoyed.
"No," I still answered honestly, mulling through my annoyance. "In my defense, we were at Melody's pretty late last night and I actually didn't come home until 3 last night." I admitted to her, recalling that after I'd taken her home, I had taken a walk along the beach - nearly cut my foot on a piece of glass, by the way, - and then I had sat at the dock and pitied myself.
"That's still, like, 12 hours of sleep!" Ally cried.
My jaw ticked in irritation. "Your point?" I didn't see why Ally was being such a mother hen. I was an adult, I didn't need anybody mothering me. Especially not Ally. I had plopped my head down into my feathery pillow and stared up at the ceiling. There was a crack that I've been meaning to fix. "I don't know about you, but I like my sleep."
"Didn't you do anything?" Now she was frowning at me.
I shook my head, "Not really."
"Austin...you're kinda...Well, you're kinda acting depressed lately," she said, the frown deepening on her face.
I looked at her and assured her swiftly, "Ally, I'm not depressed."
"Are you sure?" she questioned. My patience was snapping. Ally really knew how to get to me, whether it was in good ways or bad ways. Sometimes she got to my heart, other times she just crawled under my skin. I couldn't deny that she was right. I had been feeling really lonely lately. The gnawing sadness just ate at me and it was bothering me. But it wasn't the sadness that was bothering me, it was the guilt. I was guilty because I was actually pretty relieved that they were through. Don't get me wrong, I loved being together as a family but they just fought so much and it got tiring. They weren't good for each other.
"Well, Gee, Ally," I snapped acidly, "It's not like my parents just split or anything. I'm sorry I'm not dancing with joy."
"That's not what I meant," she said softly, breathing out a sigh. I looked over at her. She was quiet for a moment before she questioned, "Have you talked to your parents?" I watched as her teeth caught her bottom lip.
It took a moment before I said, "Don't do that." I couldn't stand to watch her bite her lip. They looked soft and very kissable. She only brought more attention to them when she bit down on her lip. I just wanted to kiss her. I tried to shake the feeling, but I couldn't, hence the reason where I demanded she stopped that.
"What?" she arched an eye brow.
"Bite your lip. Don't do it." I told her flatly, trying not to give anything away, trying to hide the fact that I wanted to set my palms behind her neck and kiss her gently. I realized even if she wasn't biting her lip, I still wanted to kiss her. I'm hopeless.
"Um...Okay." Well, now you just confused her, you nut!
"And to answer your question: No, I haven't talked with them nor do I want to," I barked at her. Even if the world was ending I wouldn't talk to them. I didn't want them to know how much this had affected me because if they knew it was going to affect me, maybe they wouldn't have split. Oh, here I go again. One moment I'm glad they're apart, the next moment I'm sad about it. I was so off balance about this situation.
My eyes met hers, seeing how they were slightly more round as if she was surprised that I would speak to her in such a tone. I sighed, realizing just how rude I was being to her. It was unfair really. "Sorry."
"I don't mind," she responded, honestly.
"Do you seriously want to be around me right now?" I questioned her, helplessly. How could she want to be around me? I was moody and grieving over the loss of my family structure. "I feel like shit and I'm talking to you like you're shit. How could you want to be around that?" Because I knew if Ally was talking to me that way, I probably would give her some space. Or maybe I'd stay, too.
She repeats, "I don't mind."
I felt a sense of anger fill my veins. How could she not mind that somebody was treating her- The anger came to a halt when I suddenly noticed what she was wearing. My shirt. That's...my...shirt? Why is she wearing my shirt? She's wearing my shirt. Ally Dawson is wearing my shirt. I had assumed that it was only a onetime thing while she didn't want to wear her own but she had chosen to wear it today. I slowly looked up to meet her gaze. She was watching me with curiosity, maybe wondering why I hadn't spoken yet. "You're wearing my shirt."
A look of confusion crossed her features. She gazed down at what she was wearing and her realization tackled her face as if she just remembered that she had been wearing it. Her face flushes to a soft pink that disappears so quickly, I questioned if it was ever birthed onto her face. "Uh, Yeah."
I stared at the shirt for a moment and started nodding my head. I liked her in my shirt. She looked nice. She looked...sexy? I don't know, my mind has been going weird lately. All week I had been getting these strong urges to hold her and kiss her. I was getting the feeling that maybe she was more than just a crush.
I remembered our previous conversation. I looked into her eyes again and felt a beehive drop in my gut, the killer bees were let out and tackled my torso: my stomach, my chest, my heart. "You don't mind?" I managed to ask.
"What?"
"You don't mind that I am totally...awful, right now?" I questioned her, wondering how she could say such a thing.
"Oh." Ally paused. "No, I don't."
I stared for a moment before quizzing her, "Why?"
"Because I think it's appropriate for you to feel that way. Normal, I guess. You're not treating me like...you're not treating me bad,you're just irritable and that's okay." she replied.
The corner of my mouth twitched at the use of her vocabulary. It was cute that she refused to swear. I also wasn't expecting her to be so understanding. I inwardly scolded myself. I should have expected it, it's Ally for god's sake. Of course she was going to be understanding. She was perfect in every way, shape, and form.
"You should mine," I stated. "You should mind when I treat you bad. You should mind because you don't deserve that."
Her strawberry tainted lips curl upwards, "Thank you."
"Yeah." Maybe that isn't an appropriate way to address a thank you, but it was what came out and she seemed okay with it.
My eyes widened slightly when she stepped towards my bed. I hadn't expected her to come towards me at all. My heart picked up slightly. She sat on her knees at the end of my bed. Our eyes locked and I suddenly really liked the feeling I got when they did. I was too busy staring at her to think over what she said, but it was something about coming to find her whenever I needed her.
"You're too nice sometimes, Ally." I told her, "Maybe that's why I don't like being your friend."
"You love being my friend."
And I totally, completely do so I replied, "I know." I wondered if she knew how desperate I was to be more than just a friend. I smiled at her and patted the spot beside me, surprising myself. She didn't hesitate. She crawled towards me, taking her place beside me. "Ally, I have to tell you something." I admit, although I'm too chicken to want to cross the friend line, I did happen to be brave enough to tell her something that I figured she should know.
"What is it?" she asked, staring up at the ceiling.
"It's kind of weird," I told her, swallowing hard, "But whenever I feel upset...somehow, you seem to make it better. Lighter. I've tried to find the same comfort with my other friends, but I get nothing. It's just you." I loved that it was just her.
"Oh."
"That's all your going to say?" I questioned softly. I wasn't irritated, angry, disappointed. I was okay with her response.
"Yeah," she replied, honestly.
"Okay."
I was staring down at my coffee when I suddenly felt something hit my arm. I saw the dish cloth and then I knew the person who had thrown it was Dez as I made eye contact with him. I sent him a questioning look.
"You were thinking about Ally again, weren't you?" Dez said.
"No, no, of course not," I said, unconvincingly. Dez stared. I sighed, "Dez, I'm getting worried."
"Why? Is she okay?" he asked, frowning.
"Yeah, I'm sure she's fine," I replied, "But I think...I think..." I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, "Ithinki'mlovewithher."
"Come again?" Dez questioned. I didn't put any breaks into the sentence again and it was spoken at the same pace. "Austin, English. I only speak English."
I groaned, "I said: I think I'm in love with her."
Dez gasped loudly. "In love with her?!"
"Yes, no, maybe, I don't know!" I shrieked, combing my fingers through my hair. "I just...she's different. I know everybody says that, but it's for real. Ally's...she makes me feel different."
"Explain," Dez said, a grin twisting onto his lips. He had managed to tell me a couple days ago that he really liked Ally. He told me that she was a good, positive influence. He was right.
"Ally's just...Ally. I don't know. She makes me feel good." I said.
"She makes you feel good?" Dez said again.
"Well, Yeah."
"That's it?" he questioned.
"Sure. Yeah, I guess." I told him. Ally made me feel more than just good, but I wasn't going to get into it with Dez. Dez always made situations uncomfortable.
"I do not!" he shouted. My eyes widened, realizing I'd said that out loud. "I'll have you know that I'm an expert on love! I got my parents together!"
"Dez, you weren't even born yet-"
"-See, even as a fetus I was brilliant. If it weren't for me, my Dad wouldn't have proposed to my mom." Dez said, smiling proudly.
I stared at him for a moment before shaking my head. "Dez, I'm serious. I think I really care about Ally. I don't want to love her, in fact, maybe I want nothing to do with her or the word love. But she's just..." I shook my head. "She's perfect, Dez."
"False: Nobody's perfect." Dez replied. I gave him a look. "Or Ally is." he said, flashing his palms as if to tell me he was backing down. "Maybe you should tell her."
I jumped up from my chair, "Are you kidding!" I shrieked, "I'd have to lose my brains if I ever thought about doing that!"
"Why?" Dez questioned.
"Because Ally is trying to find the man she wants to marry. She's completely serious about finding him and everything she wants is not me. I can't give her what she's always looked for. She'll never see me like that. I'm simply in love with a person that'll...never love me back." I said, my voice faltering near the end. "Oh, now I remember why I hate love."
"You never did say you believed in it again," Dez pointed out, "What changed your mind?"
"She did. She changed my mind." I said, staring at my finger tips. I realized it when I looked across and she was laying there, staring at the ceiling. She was humming a tune to me, one that she'd apparently just come up with in that moment. I realized it: She was everything that I could want, or need. She was my home.
"You need to tell her," Dez said.
"Dez-"
"Austin," he interrupted, sending me a sharp look. He rarely got serious so when he did, I always knew he was right and that I needed to listen.
"I don't...I don't know how or what to say." I said, looking at him, "And I know she doesn't feel the same way, Dez. She's too busy writing out lists about the man she's gonna love."
"Maybe she realizes that it's you. Your her friend. She comes around a lot. She enjoys your company. Maybe she wasn't the only one changing minds, maybe you changed hers, too." he said.
"How?" I questioned mockingly, "Did I show her that I'm what she's been looking for?"
"Possibly," Dez said. He grabbed his camera and dismissed himself to get to his work. He had some important pictures to take today apparently. I sat by myself. I knew one thing: I had to tell Ally, because if there was anything I learned from her, it's that love (apparently) was worth taking risks. It was worth getting hurt for because you can remember all the goodness it brought in the beginning. Shit, I'm really starting to sound like Ally.
Ally's POV
I was sitting at my kitchen table, drumming my fingers against the hard surface as I thought hard about everything: Austin, my parents, Austin, Griffin, Trish, Austin, Austin, Griffin, Groceries, Work, Songwriting, Melody's Diner, Austin, life, Austin.
I grunted and tossed my head back. I couldn't get his face out of my mind and it was driving me crazy. I wasn't supposed to like a guy like Austin. A guy like Austin? Who am I kidding, he was the best and the worst I could fall for. Maybe that was the most exciting part. He was the kind of guy that I write songs about, that any hopeless romantic writes about. He was the guy that the artists sketches into all of her papers, the guy that every musician sings about, the guy that instruments harmonize.
Griffin meowed at me. "Go away, Griffin." I snapped. I'm not sure he understood me, but he did wander away. "I still love you, forever and always!" I called out to him. Pull yourself together, Ally, he's a cat!
I look over to my guitar that was laying in the middle of the living room, loose leaf papers tossed all around it with lyrics scribbled everywhere. I had written countless songs about him. Once discovering that I was feeling something for him, I had endless melodies playing over and over again in my mind.
I didn't let my heart drop again when I remember Austin probably didn't love me, too. How could he? I'm just boring, old Ally. Then again, I don't know that for sure. Maybe I changed his mind! Oh, of course I didn't do that. I sighed. I wasn't as torn up about this as I was yesterday, now I was just...disappointed. Austin was everything that a girl could want and I could have him in my arms at any given moment if he would just spend a moment thinking about me. I wish he did that.
Does he?
I'm fixing myself some tea when my eyes glance over and I catch the picture of Trish's parents and then my parents on the fridge. These two photos looked too much alike. Both men glancing down at their wives with such warmth in their eyes. They made it. They found each other and they did it well. Even if my parents' had ended soon, they never failed to love each other. It brought me into a never thought about Austin.
Austin gave me a vibe that I had never felt before. It was a good feeling, one that I didn't want to let go or I was afraid that I would lose it forever. I sighed again. I stirred my drink before I looked at the photos again. I'm sure finding each other wasn't easy either...right? They must've gone through something.
That's when I realized it: It didn't matter if Austin didn't feel the same way, I needed to tell him. If I don't, I might miss my opportunity to tell him my true feelings and who knows, maybe there's a chance he decides to take a leap by faith and falls in love with me, too. After all, this was never planned. I never chose to feel like this for him, none of it was ever planned. It just kind of happened. Isn't that how love is? It's unpredictable, it's unplanned? It all just sort of happened. Love is kind of like the wild card. The one thing in your life that you can't prep for, or plan for, it just happens. It just falls into place.
Love was everything I've always wanted and if it's standing right in front me, I'm not going to let it slip through my finger tips. I needed to tell him. I wasn't sure when or how, but I was going to tell him. Even if it took me thirty years, I would tell him.
Ally's in love
Austin's in love
EVERYONE'S IN LOVE.
(The best part is that they're in love with each other) WINK.
I think I might be a hopeless romantic, too.
Sort of.
I don't know.
You probably don't care.
If you don't care, you might as well just review.
And if you do care, you still might as well just review.
REVIEW.