Hey everyone! Sorry that this update has been so long coming. In this chapter there will be a lot more discussion on the witch lore and what Eleanor is going through. I hope you all enjoy it! Leave me some reviews with what you think and any questions you may have! Happy reading!
Bedrest
"What the hell happened to her?!" I could hear Paul screaming in frustration. There was a thickness in his voice that suggested he was crying.
"It's alright, Paul. This is normal for a young witch her age. As she nears the Winter Solstice, her emotions will become volatile. They will become even more so as her specialization approaches."
"What do you mean?" Paul badgered Dr. Cullen.
"I mean that this is not out of the ordinary. She will be fine, once she wakes up and eats something."
"I don't understand what's going on," Paul said through gritted teeth.
"Well, I'm sure Eleanor will explain it to you after she's better. That's the best I can do for now. Why don't you run your patrol and come back later."
"Just because I'm better at tolerating you now doesn't mean I take my orders from you, leech," Paul growled out. My irritation with him spiked; I could feel myself becoming more alert.
My eyes opened suddenly and I sat up quickly in Carlisle's defense.
"Don't talk to him like that," I ordered Paul immediately. The anger on his face was replaced with shock. The aggression seemed to seep out of his body as he walked over to where I was sprawled across my bed in the Cullens' house.
"It's quite alright, Eleanor. Paul is very upset over your well-being," Carlisle said placatingly.
"Don't give him excuses," I told Carlisle while I continued to stare at Paul.
"Very well. I'll leave you two alone now. I re-cast your leg while you were asleep, but try not to move it for a while."
"Thanks," I told him as he whisked across the room and closed the door behind himself.
Paul stood nervously before me. He reminded me of a child getting scolded by a parent with his stooped posture and wide, apologetic eyes.
"How are you feeling?" he asked quietly. My glare softened the slightest bit.
"I'm fine," I answered stiffly.
"I…don't understand exactly what happened," Paul told me quietly as he sunk down beside me on the bed. I sighed and rubbed my temples lightly where they ached from the throbbing I had put them through.
"I guess I should have explained all of this," I said quietly. "I grew up knowing about other magical beings and I've had background for years. You don't have a clue as to what's going on with me. I'm sorry," I told Paul sincerely, looking into his tight, worried dark eyes. He nodded for me to continue. "Well, since I'm still unspecialized, I'll be going through something called inconstans."
"What does that mean?" Paul interrupted, expression worried. I smiled gently and took his hand to comfort him.
"It's completely normal but it's totally awful for anyone around me. For about a week before the Winter or Summer Solstice, I go through this horrendous emotional phase that pretty much rips me apart from the inside out. It's kind of embarrassing for it to happen in front of people who don't have a clue as to what's going on, like you."
"So it's like…being on your period…without the blood?" Paul asked with a fierce blush. I offered him a half-smile.
"Kind of, but this is worse. If I'm not careful, I can hurt myself or the people around me very easily. Back at home, my grandmothers kept me home from school the couple of years our holidays didn't start before inconstans."
"Will you always be like this? You said it's because you haven't specialized?" Paul asked, confused. I nodded.
"I won't always be this way. We only act this way because when you're unspecialized, you have no…anchor, of sorts. There's nothing holding your magic down, or grounding you. Our powers heighten around the time of a solstice and when there's nothing there to absorb the power or anchor you, it can be overwhelming."
"What…" Paul stopped himself, then pushed on. "What does it feel like?"
"Well," I hesitated. "I get really angry really fast. I feel like I have no control over myself or anything in me. It's frightening, to feel like you're going to burst because you're so upset. The same thing happens when I get sad. I just start crying and sobbing and I can't stop. I'm sorry for pushing you-I don't know what I was thinking."
My cell phone began ringing loudly, breaking whatever peace had settled between Paul and me. I reached over and dug it out of my jacket and answered it quickly.
"Eleanor," my Nana said quietly. "We were expecting you home in a few days but I have the distinct impression that you're going to ask to extend your trip."
"Well I can't very well fly back home in inconstans," I explained to my Nana quietly. She huffed out a breath that let me know she had temporarily forgotten my semi-annual ailment.
"I'll catch the next plane out," she said softly.
"Carlisle can take care of me," I interrupted. "I already have a broken leg he's mending."
"You should have taken care of that yourself."
"I was kind of in excruciating pain the first time around. And you know that I can't now, not without fear of messing up."
"I understand. I'll mend it for you when you get home, if you want," she offered softly. She took a deep breath. "Looks like we'll be spending Christmas without you, huh?" she sighed.
"I can see about when it lets up. I might be able to squeeze a flight in. Carlisle already told me that he could have Jasper make arrangements with the airline. He has connections."
"Well, we'll have to see how you're feeling. Stay inside and try to keep away from the earth. Do what you can to stay calm. Stay in bed, like you normally do. And don't lose your temper," she stressed. I could feel her worry vibrating over the phone line, sinking straight into the pit of my stomach. It made her anxious to be away from me at a time like this. It was even worse that I was in a heavily wooded, unpopulated area, with no other witch around for miles.
"I know," I said softly. We hung up and Paul looked at me, curious. I shrugged. "I guess I'm on bedrest."
"Why can't you go outside?" he asked, dumbfounded. I sighed softly.
"Well, you know that my grandmother is training me." Paul nodded and gestured to his shoulder, referencing my mark. I nodded. "Right, and her specialty is earth. When witches go through inconstans, the magic that they're training under is the worst thing to be around. Any other time it can be used as an anchor, like when I made the serums and drops and stuff. But during inconstans, the balance inside of me is off, and so is my magic. The would-be anchor becomes the thing that makes me most volatile. That's why I pushed you last night, that's why I broke the cast. Being surrounded by the earth like I was kind of…frazzled me. It unbalanced me. In New York, the beginning stages are easier to deal with in the city. There's a lot of concrete and people around, so the element isn't there to make me go crazy. Towards the end, when I'm at my most powerful, my grandmothers take me to our house in the suburbs, where I can't hurt people."
I stopped, allowing Paul to take everything in. Not only was it difficult for me to explain everything I had known my whole life, my very instincts, I imagined it was difficult for Paul to place. He hadn't been exposed to magic like this before, and though he had imprinted and soon it would be second nature to him, at this point, I'm sure he was confused. And I was almost positive that he didn't want to ask for help understanding…men.
"Does this make sense to you, Paul?" I asked. I felt bad that he might not understand, but was too proud to ask me to explain it differently. I knew he could see the struggle I had putting it all to words.
"Sort of…I'm still not getting why you passed out on me though."
"That's called a burn out," I nodded. "When I rage, my magic pushes to my skin and the surface of my body. My mark starts to burn and the rest of my body overheats. If I continue and don't stop and calm down, the fever reaches my head and I pass out."
"Why didn't you stop?" he asked. I could detect a note of concern in his voice.
"When I rage, I can't calm myself down." I stared at Paul openly. "Kind of like when you phased, before you had control. Once I start, I really can't stop, which is why I'm so dangerous. I don't just hurt myself; I'm a danger to others. What happened to you is nothing compared to what's happened before. Sometimes my Nana has to sedate me. She sedated my mom pretty much every time. We got really lucky that I couldn't think enough to do much more damage, and we're even more lucky that you're a shifter and you don't get hurt easily."
"Huh," Paul hummed. "That's…crazy."
"I know. And I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean most of it, but I know that it hurt you. At the moment that was kind of my goal."
"It's okay," Paul sighed. He glanced at the clock on the bedside table and groaned, throwing his head down into the sheets in frustration. "I have to go patrol. Can I come back later?" he asked hopefully, looking up. I shrugged lightly.
"I don't know what I'll be doing…oh wait…bedrest. You can come back as long as it's okay with the Cullens."
"Okay," Paul chuckled. He stood and walked over to the door, looking back awkwardly when he got there. I felt as though he wanted to say something, and he even opened his mouth, but he shook his head and shut the door behind him.