Letters to America
In Response to: Dear sir,
Will you please tell Hawaii to stop asking me for rockets and to stop telling Mexico that I wanna go home with her after I refuse to give Hawaii the rockets she wants? After all, I would rather join Alaska and his dad, they're cooler than you anyway. I also have no regrets about telling California, Oregon, and Washington about their "unique" parent situation. Good luck with explaining that by the way.
Signed,
Alex A. Montoya (Texas)
P.S. I refuse to call you "Dad" and Russia really is cooler than you.
P.P.S. I think Hawaii's gonna kill you soon, and I'm gonna go visit Alaska later to talk about becoming Russia's son too.
Dear Alex (Texas),
Wow. Not afraid to speak at all there, huh?
First of which, I have a question for you? Do not take this offensively since you're my kid and I'll always love you, even if you hate me or think that Russia is cooler but why should I do any of the things that you ask me to do when you say all those things? You're not very good at brown nosing. Believe me, you don't want to be Alaska. Open your eyes. Realize what you have and appreciate it. I'm glad you told Washington, Oregon and California. They deserve to know how they came into this earth and I think I did just fine explaining it to them.
Your awesomest daddy,
Alfred
P.S: Russia is a fat commie freak. I'm obviously more heroic then him.
P.P.S: Hawaii can try but America shall always triumph. While you and her may not love me as my other children do, I have other children who love me and will help me. I will never be beaten by one state. And you can't just become Russia's son. Your stuck with me so just be happy about it.