Chapter 18: I'm a Father

Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy

DPOV

After I walked Rose home carrying our sleeping daughter I was all keyed up. She was right about one thing. I was angry. I tried not to show it in front of her or Lexie. I needed an outlet. I hated to keep doing this to her, but I ended up once again on Tasha's doorstep. I hadn't discussed with Rose whether or not I could tell people she was mine, but hell if Ivashkov knew and the princess and Christian then I was going to at least unburden myself on one of my good friends. Tasha was a good listener and I knew she would be awake even thought it was late.

"Dimka, I'm surprised to see you. I thought you were making dinner for Rose tonight. Did it not go well?" she asked allowing me into the living room.

"No it actually went surprisingly well, but I have a few things I need to get off my chest. I know it's late, but if you could spare a few minutes I could really used some advice."

"It's no trouble at all. You're one of my best friends. I'll put on a pot of tea and we can talk." She was always so gracious and hospitable. I was surprised she hadn't found a man and settled down yet. I knew for a while she thought we would be together, but after she realized just how deep my feelings for Rose were she started dating again. She just hadn't found the right man yet or so she said.

"What's on your mind?" she asked as we sat across from one another at her dining room table.

"I figured out who the father is."

"Is it someone you know?" she asked putting her hand over mine. Her voice was very sympathetic.

"Actually it is." She looked at me expectantly.

I took a deep breath. "Dimka spit it out you're killing me here."

"It's me. I'm Lexie's father."

Her face scrunched up in confusion and then she shook her head. "I know how much you wanted a family with Rose, but deluding yourself into thinking that she's yours isn't healthy."

She didn't believe me. Of course she didn't believe me. Hell I almost didn't believe me. I pulled the picture I'd taken out of the frame I'd shattered against the wall in my room at Lissa and Christians out of my wallet.

"Look at her and tell me you don't see it," I challenged her.

She examined the photograph quietly for about a minute before putting her hand over her mouth as she gasped.

"How can this be? I mean you're both Dhampirs. It's genetically impossible. I mean the timing is right and the resemblance is there now that I'm looking for it, but this defies all explanation. Dimka are you sure? Did she tell you that?"

"Actually she wasn't the one who told me first." I explained about Lexie and the picture she had drawn and why she had left the day care center. I also explained about my chat with Ivashkov and then guilting Rose into a confession. She listened to every word her eyes getting wider and wider as the details rolled off my tongue.

"So you think it's because she's shadow kissed?" she finally asked.

"That's the only thing I can think of that sets her apart from all other Dhampirs. She has been brought back to life by a Moroi. In a sense Lissa gave her some of her essence and that is what keeps her among the living. I know it sounds crazy, but the connection I feel to her, her features, her likes and dislikes, her personality. She's like a mini me. I don't know how I didn't see it when I first came here. I should have known it straight away when she told me her date of birth. Instead I assumed the worst, that Rose had fallen into bed with another so soon after I'd left." I hung my head in shame.

"Oh Dimka, you're a father," she cried finally saying the words I'd been wanting to shout from the rooftops all day.

"I am a father," I said it out loud. I liked the way it sounded. When people asked me if had children I could now tell them yes, I have a beautiful six year old daughter and show off a photo. Tears sprung to my eyes and Tasha threw her arms around me.

"Congratulations! I have no doubt that you will be a wonderful father," she said.

"Thank you. I can only hope I don't screw it up. I've already missed six years. I don't want to miss another minute of her life."

"Can I ask if you're angry with Rose?"

I sighed. "Yes and no. I am angry that she didn't tell me, but I understand why she didn't. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. I'm angry that I've missed six years of my daughter's life, but then again if I hadn't left Rose I would have been there."

"You can't keep blaming yourself. It won't help anything."

"Blaming her won't help anything either," I reminded her.

"I agree."

"Doesn't mean I don't want to go ten rounds with her in the ring though." Finally admitting that I was angry as hell with her even if it wasn't to her face felt liberating.

Tasha laughed uneasily.

"You know I won't," I reassured her. I'd let Rose beat the hell out of me a few weeks ago. I felt I owed her one. I would never physically hurt her not ever. I was not the same type of man my father was. I would never be violent towards a woman, well outside of training that is.

"So do you think that you and Rose will have more children someday?" she asked doing a great job of changing the subject. I nearly choked on my hot tea.

"I hadn't even thought of that considering up until this afternoon I didn't know it was possible. I would love to have more children with her, but sadly Rose still hasn't forgiven me and until she lets me into her heart I don't think there will be many opportunities for that to happen."

"She can't hold a grudge forever. She'll come around."

"People keep telling me that," I said shaking my head. I hoped they were right. The thought of having another baby with Rose was very appealing to me. I could be there for the entire process this time. I had to stop getting ahead of myself. Forgiveness first, talk of the future later.

"Have you told your mother yet?"

I raised my eyebrow at her. "I wouldn't even know where to begin with that."

"You should take them to Baia. Your family would love that," she suggested.

"It's something to keep in mind for later on. I don't think Rose would be thrilled at that idea just yet."

I left Tasha's feeling a little lighter, but extremely exhausted. I fell into a deep sleep dreaming of my Roza as usual.

RPOV

It had been three days since Dimitri had found out Lexie was his daughter. I now knew why Adrian had made himself scarce that evening. He was afraid I would pound him for confirming Dimitri's suspicions. He'd actually cowered a little when he had finally come home in the wee hours of the morning. I went into his room and he just about jumped out of his skin. I let him stew a little before hugging him and telling him everything was okay. He'd been relieved, but I know a part of him was a little saddened. I truly wished I didn't always have to keep hurting him.

Of all the people I thought would rat me out I'd never expected for it to be my own daughter. I had to hand it to her though even though she hadn't known what she was doing she was brilliant. I think her being the one to make him realize their connection was what helped him to overcome some of his anger. Who could be mad at a sweet little girl like her?

Friday on our shift Dimitri and I had spoken a little about when and how we would integrate him into Lexie's life. We both agreed that it wasn't a good idea to just blurt out to her that he was her father. We decided that they would start spending more time together and that we would spend time together as a family and then when she was ready we would sit down and explain things to her. I knew he was dying for her to call him daddy, but he also respected that it would take her some time to adjust to things and he wanted what was best for her. We made plans for the three of us to go to the zoo today. It was a Sunday , but because we had to go on human time Dimitri wouldn't have to switch shifts with anyone so it all worked out.

Dimitri showed up at our place right on time. He was wearing jeans and a white t-shirt and boy did he look like a really tall James Dean only with longer hair. I had to remind myself to keep my head out of the gutter. This trip was supposed to be about Lexie and Dimitri bonding. I was only here to supervise. I felt like a babysitter.

"Mr. Dimka!" Lexie called out rushing over jumping straight into his waiting arms. He scooped her up hugging her so tight I thought he'd break her in half. She squealed in delight as he lifted her over his head making her fly like an airplane.

"Okay are we ready to go?" I asked after I finished loading the cooler, a blanket, the bag that contained all of Lexie's entertainment and snacks for the car ride there as well as a change of clothes.

Dimitri looked at the back seat of the car. "What is all of that?" he asked.

"Just a few necessities while traveling with children." He nodded.

"Don't worry you'll learn Comrade," I told him punching him in the shoulder.

"Can we see the elephants Mommy please?" Lexie pleaded. They were her favorite animal and besides the one time Adrian and I had taken her to the zoo when she was four, she hadn't really seen one up close.

"Sure baby, they're right up this way," I told her. She ran as fast as her little legs could carry her which was pretty fast for a kid her age, but nothing compared to Dimitri or I so we let her have the run of the place. Every once in a while she'd drag either me or Dimitri to see something up close pointing at them.

"What does this say Mommy?" she asked pointing to a sign.

"What do you think it says?" I asked her. She scrunched up her little nose studying the big words on the sign.

"Please don't….feed….the….an.. animals," she sounded out the words.

"Very good baby," I praised her. Dimitri stared at her incredulously.

"She can read?" he asked.

I nodded. "Most children read by age six or seven, but Adrian and I started reading to her when she was a baby. Last year Abe enrolled her in a summer reading program because she's slightly ahead of the students in her class and he didn't want them to drag her down," I explained.

"It's just another thing I missed out on teaching her," he said sadly. My heart went out to him. I still blamed him for leaving, but he really hadn't known what he was giving up. How could he have when it was supposed to have been impossible?

The trip to the zoo was a success. Lexie tired herself out so much that Dimitri ended up carrying her back to the car. He put her into the back seat pulling her seatbelt over her.

"She's so precious Roza," he whispered kissing her forehead.

"Ya Tebya lyublyu maya dotchka." He said something to her in Russian. The first part was the same thing he'd whispered to me at his apartment that night.

"What does that mean?" I asked once we were driving.

"What?"

"What you said to her."

"It means I love you." I couldn't help the smile that broke out on my face.

"You know I love you too," he said grabbing my hand from where it lay on the arm rest. My heart beat picked up as he entwined our hands.

I may not be ready to give him my heart, but for now I could let him hold my hand.

Aww how sweet! Don't you just love it when he speaks Russian? Next chapter Rose has to take Lissa on a weekend trip. Will she let the Russian babysit? LOL let's just say that in my story Dimitri is not as kid savy as he is in most other stories so he's in for a wild rid. If you have children or would like to shar any babysitting horror stories I could use some ideas. Apparently the kids I babysat for were angels.