Eva's POV

It was the first time I had been to a funeral. I was surprised by how sad and gloomy it was. The droning of the Pastor and the soft cries of the mourning family.

When the funeral was over, we went back to the house the Lightwoods had managed to get for us. Clary and Simon came after sometime and told about how Valentine appeared at the meeting and killed the Inquisitor. Personally, I wished I had gone to the meeting instead. Anything to distract myself.

"I missed all the fun," Jace sighed. He was sitting on the window ledge, looking out. Alec was sitting on a sofa, tired. I was on the sofa next to his. Isabelle had locked herself upstairs, refusing to talk to any of us.

"No, Jace," Alec said warily.

"What?" Jace looked surprised. Alec didn't answer.

"How did Valentine kill the Inquisitor?" Simon asked. No one had an answer to that.

"I'm not looking forward to telling mom and dad." Alec frowned.

"Where are they?" Clary asked.

"They're still at the grave," I replied.

"Isabelle?" Simon asked. Jace gestured upstairs.

"In her room," he said. "She doesn't want to talk to any of us." I felt another pang of guiltiness. It shouldn't be her, it should be me, I thought.

"Maybe I could try talk to her," Simon suggested. Jace rolled his eyes.

"You?" Alec sounded surprised. "I mean, she wouldn't talk to us so..." He added guiltily.

"She might since I'm not family." Simon got up.

"I need to go home," Clary got up as well. Jace did the same.

"I'll walk you home," he said. Clary only nodded. I couldn't help stare at them. They didn't act like siblings at all. Jace caught my eye. I looked away, flushing.

"Let's go," Clary said. Simon went upstairs and I was left alone with Alec.

"Do you get to talk with Raphael?" He asked.

"No," I felt the familiar longing to talk to the dark haired vampire.

"Maybe I could ask Magnus to give him your messages," Alec offered. I looked at him, surprised.

"Sine when did you become so nice?" I asked. He flushed, embarrassed.

"I'm not that bad, am I?" He asked. I laughed.

"You're very kind," I told him remembering when he found out about my blood secret. He smiled.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he got up and left. I watched the fire as it cackled. It was quiet for once.

"Eva," a voice said softly. I turned around, surprised.

"Raphael?" I grinned and got up. I could see that he was a projection, the sides of him were transparent. "How come you didn't do this before?" I went over to him.

"You were always with someone or sleeping," he told me. I stared at him.

"You could've woken me up," I pointed out. "And they already know we're dating thanks to Alec." I added.

"You looked peaceful, sleeping," he said but he didn't reply to my last sentence. "I heard about the demon attack." He looked me over worriedly. "Are you alright?" For some reason, I felt the need to tell him everything.

"I don't know," I whispered. I didn't want anyone to hear me. Raphael looked even more worried.

"Why? What's wrong?" His hand reached out to touch my face but he stopped and let it fall to his side. I looked at him sadly. How I wish he was here in real life.

"I don't think I'm normal," I waited, tense. But his expression only changed to concern.

"Why?" Was all he asked.

"I don't experience the same emotions as others. Or at least not as strongly." I said. It was true. I was the one who had let Sebastian kill Max, not Isabelle. So why wasn't I reacting the same way like her? "Sebastian asked me once why I wasn't scared of demons since I had spent most of my life tortured by them. He said it seemed weird that I wasn't scared or unconfident..." I broke off. It hurt when Sebastian had said that. He even asked if I had enjoyed living with the demons. But I understood why he would think that. People should be damaged by my experiences. So why aren't I?

"You are different, Eva." Raphael said finally. I stared at him. "When I found you, I knew you were different. You were always calm and you didn't show many emotions. Magnus suspected it was a side affect from the experimenting Valentine did on you." I stared at him. I was really starting to hate Valentine now.

"So... I'm apathetic?" I looked around. No one was here.

"No, you still have feelings," he shook his head.

"How do you know?" I demanded.

"It's obvious whenever you're around me," he smirked. I blushed.

"I'm not that obvious," I defended myself but he was right. I did have feelings, I just didn't experience them strongly. Especially fear.

"You're absolutely fine, Eva." Raphael smiled. I smiled back but I didn't believe him. Valentine obviously didn't think the same. So did Sebastian. "What's wrong?" Raphael asked. I hesitated.

"Why does Valentine hate me?" I asked. His face changed to sadness. "What?" I pressed.

"Maybe that's up to your father to tell you," he said. "But don't believe him. He doesn't know you at all." There was silence. Why can't you just tell me? I watched him sadly. "I have to go," he glanced over his shoulder. "Love you."

"Love you." I murmured as he flickered and disappeared. I realized he didn't ask if he could talk to me next time. That was something he always asked. What happened? What was going on in the Hotel? Was he busy? Was he disgusted by me?

Shaking away the feelings, I went to bed with a heavy heart.

When I woke up, I changed my clothes and went downstairs.

"Good morning," Alec said.

"Good morning," I took note of his lack of smile. Maybe he didn't think I was worth smiling for. But it's probably because of Max. Max, I thought but I didn't feel anything anymore.

"Eva," Isabelle noisily came down the stairs. "We're going to Clary's house. Wanna join?" Simon appeared behind her, silent as a shadow.

"Sure," I followed them outside, Simon leading. It was an awkward walk, Simon trying to start conservations and Isabelle giving short answers. I remained silent.

When we reached the house, an old woman met us. Her eyes widened in surprise as we trooped in, Simon greeting her.

"I'll make pancakes," Isabelle said after Simon asked the woman where Clary was. I sat at the table in the kitchen and watched the tall girl cook. Simon sat across me.

"Who was she?" I asked.

"Amatis," Simon nodded. " Luke's sister."

"Oh," I glanced at the door where the woman had went inside. I had heard about what happened to Luke. I couldn't help feel some anger towards the woman for rejecting her brother when he needed her the most.

"Clary, you're here." Isabelle exclaimed, grinning. I looked up and saw the redhead staring at us shocked. Amatis was standing behind her.

"They just came in and started making breakfast." The woman said. Clary blinked and looked at Simon.

"Isabelle, Eva I need to talk to you." She said and slid into a seat next to mine. I saw a piece of paper in her hand.

"What is it?" Isabelle didn't take her eyes of the pan.

"No, I mean, Simon has to go. I'm sorry." She sounded apologetic. Isabelle opened her mouth to object but he was already leaving the room.

"It's fine," he turned to Amatis. "Maybe you could show me some pictures." He kept on talking as they walked into the other room. I looked at Clary expectantly.

"You need to read this," Clary handed me a note. I could tell it was Jace's writing. So first he walks her back home and now he writes her notes? As I continued to read it I felt a more sense of dread. Not just because Jace was leaving to find Valentine but because this sounded more like a love note. I couldn't take it anymore. Almost disgustedly I gave it to Isabelle, avoiding Clary's eyes. She wouldn't notice anyways, too love struck. I glared at the floor as Isabelle quickly scanned the contents.

"I knew it," she sighed. Clary watched her expectantly.

"So we can't let him do this right? We'll have to stop him." She said. Isabelle looked at the girl almost tiredly.

"No, Jace won't stop." She said. "I hoped he would take Alec with him..."

"Alec will stop him?" Clary asked. Isabelle shook her head. Anger flashed in Clary's face. "But we have to stop him. Why are you acting like this? Don't you know he'll die?" As they argued I looked at the pancakes which were stacked on a plate. I got up and took it back to Simon's seat and sat there. I started eating it, focusing back on the argument.

"Max was only a boy. Jace is a warrior. He can handle himself against Valentine." Isabelle was furious.

"Valentine will kill Jace," Clary glared at her. "He doesn't care for Jace. For me or for Eva!" I tensed at my name. They looked at me for a moment and then Isabelle shot something back at Clary. I swallowed my bite and took another. I stiffened. Something tasted terrible. Really really bad. I stumbled over to the bin and spat it out, gagging. I rushed to the sink and tried to wash my mouth as best as I could. I poured myself a drink of juice and gulped it down then poured myself another. The two girls were really fighting now. Before I could recover and stop them, Simon came. He spoke again in his quiet voice and the kitchen calmed down. Clary looked torn between something.

"I know why he left," she started nervously. "Jace and I went to the Wayland manor and we-" the door opened again and Amatis came in.

"Clary, Eva," she starts."there's someone who wants to see you both." We slowly follow her to the front door. Who would want to see me? I wondered.

The door was already open when we got there. I froze. I recognized that woman. She looked so much like Clary. But I couldn't see a single thing that resembled me to her at all. She was my mom.