Disclaimer: If Harry Potter & J.K.'s other characters were mine, would I be posting here? Much less suffering through evil homework…- Such is life...for now!

Reviewers: (¡Muchas gracias, gente!)

First of all, please don't be too irked that I didn't update earlier-- part of it wasn't my fault, since wasn't working anyway.
Please excuse typos, as I am too exhausted to proofread here, but if there's something really, really horrid, go ahead and let me know.

Melian Maia: Thanks so much for the formulas (and for reviewing!)! You went to a lot of trouble. I'll have to get my e-mail address up there… but which one? Now comes the big decision…

Nightwing 509: Thanks! I'm glad someone liked my fairy addition. I've been reading too much of 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' or something lately. -
Or maybe it was Gerald Morris's books or... I like reading, can you tell? -

Pussin Boots: Thanks. Sorry if you find the fairy thing weird; it just kind of happened and then I couldn't get it out of my mind. Unfortunately, it'll get a little weirder. Blame Emily for mentioning Welsh, Gaelic and Ireland too much. Wait…no one here knows her. Oh well. So 15 will be the weirdest chapter, but I think things will be less weird after that. Then again, look who's writing.

IamSiriusgrl: Thanks! Laughing one's head off is fun… I don't do it half enough? - So, how is your muse doing: )

pandas rule the world: Hmm, I thought it was my friend, then Emily's dog, and then penguins. Thanks for the correction! - Oh, I liked your idea. Do you mind if I use something like that later in the book, but not exactly as a prank? For one thing, despite their outward arrogance I don't think the guys think they're completely irresistible. : )

pwr2purple: Thanks! Yep, I do know how impatient you are, like… other people. I confess I'm not exactly patient either. -

roguehobbit: I wanna change into an animal, too! Not fair… Well, hopefully one day I'll have wings. I'd better! - but the halo thing would get annoying. I bet it would keep falling off my head. ; )

Jessesgirl11: Thanks! Oh, and MSWord can be irksome. At least it doesn't automatically change words anymore. can be worse, though; it doesn't like my asterisks and squiggly things. Ohh well! C'est la vie, and I'm glad to be able to post here. : )

Pleione: Yes, stupid Hmm, have you ever heard of Switchfoot (rock)? Do you ever listen to oboe music, or classical, or LOTR sound tracks, etc? Lol... I have too many branches of music, but to be frank I don't care... well, not much. But it is very cool that there are people who like some of the music I do. Most people (esp. my brother, Mr. Mahler Rules and anything you like sucks- phooey on him, trumpet player! ).
Yes, unmentionables... lol. I don't want to move this past K+ really... er... PG...
As always, your reviews are MUCH APPRECIATED!

Phoniex Love- hmm, yes, I do sort of wish I could have thought of something else, but when I was writing that I couldn't think of anything, and my friend told me to just reuse the stag... yeah. Thanks for reviewing!

Chapter 14

Pranks, a Fairy, and a Flamenco Dancer

Sirius sat in his cozy chair in the room of requirement and moped.

"How could they do this to us?" he asked no one in particular. "Can you believe that there were girls who wanted to buy our underwear? Eww!"

"Most guys would kill for that," James smirked. "But you're right, it's gross."

"Besides, that one was pure Ginny," Ron added. "Her diary is missing from my trunk, remember?"

"Yeah, but how do you know that the others didn't help?"

"Erm…" Ron was at a loss for words. "She was too vindictive to wait?"

"That's not good enough for me," Remus interjected. Of all of them, he was the most embarrassed. In fact, he was uncharacteristically morose, even for the day before the full moon. Harry, however, was merely grateful this had not happened at Hogwarts in the future, when people would have gone nuts about the "boy who lived"'s unmentionables. He shuddered at the thought.

"Harry, are you okay?" James asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Harry hedged.

"Well, how should I know? You had a funny look on your face."

"All right, Marauders and soon-to-be Marauders. We need a prank!" Remus yelled, slamming a book of hexes on the table.

"Aww, Moony is finally imitating me," James teased.

"Shut it, Prongs," Remus warned him. "I'm serious. These girls are not getting away with that."

"No, of course not," James sighed. "So, shall we make them turn red or something?"

"THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" Remus yelled. The others stared at him, slightly frightened by their good-natured friend's mood.

"Honestly, Remus, you're starting to scare me," Harry interjected. "It was just a prank. If you want, we can give them zits or something, but I agree with Ron. Ginny probably did it alone."

"Well… maybe."

"This isn't about your crush on a certain O'Brien as a third year, is it, Moony?" Sirius asked, feigning innocence.

"Padfoot," Remus growled deep in his throat.

"Moony! Settle down," James scolded. "No fighting in front of Harry."

"Feeling fatherly all of the sudden?" Sirius joked, relieved that Remus would not kill him--yet. It was close to the full moon; Remus was always on edge then and therefore dangerous. Right now, he was flipping through the book of hexes, looking for the perfect revenge.

"I've got it!" Remus exclaimed as he slammed the open book on the desk. "All right, Marauders, here's the plan!" He explained it in detail, and was rewarded with slaps on the back. After they finished plotting, they left the open book on the table in the room of requirement. He had ignored the small print for once in his life. Under the spell was written in tiny letters,

"Caution: spell may have adverse effects on those with awakened fairy blood."

Lily browsed the shelves in the library slowly. She did not know quite what she was looking for, but for some reason she felt that there was something here that she needed. Could it have to do with that dream? Lily asked herself. No, that's impossible. There is no way that I could be an animagi and a fairy, much less become both in one night. She sighed and moved to examine the next section of books. She picked up The Booke of Loste Charmes, which was dusty for the lack of use; no one save Lily normally checked out charms books, and this one was written in Middle English. Lily shrugged her shoulders. Her father worked with ancient languages and had taught her several over the summers. However, it was the book next to it that really caught her eye.

A Guide to Fairy Magic was written on the old leather binding in a foreign tongue that Lily had never seen before, but still seemed vaguely familiar, despite the strange runic alphabet it was written in.

"Wow," she whispered. "Maybe that wasn't a dream." As she picked up the book, a spark of magic swept through her body, causing her to leap involuntarily and land with a loud thud.

"Lily, don't jump in the library," Madame Jaden protested as she swiftly approached her. "Honestly, Miss Evans, I'd expect better of you."

"Sorry, Madam," Lily replied meekly. "I lost my footing." Madame Jaden smiled.

"That's all right, Lily. Would you like to check these books out?"

"Yes, thank you," Lily replied.

"Hmm… The Booke of Lost Charmes. I've never been good at Middle English, so I haven't even read this one. Let me know if you find anything interesting in them. Oh, and why are you reading about preserving herbs? You're not taking herbology this year, since you tested out of it." Lily blinked, slightly surprised.

"Yes, well, I thought it would be interesting," she murmured with a slight smile. "It's good not to forget things, you know."

"True," Madame Jaden responded, satisfied with her answer. "You know, if you weren't head girl, I'd have made you my library aide, my dear. Of course, Brenna O'Brien is just as good with running this place," she beamed. "She's a blessing." Lily smiled again, nodded, and excused herself. Then, she went to the Gryffindor common room and sat down in a cozy chair by the fireplace to study the strange book.

It was written in runes, which Lily somehow recognized. The first section was full of vocabulary and grammar in the Silvanic, or fairy, tongue, most of which she did not know. Underneath the first page was a spell to help Lily learn the information while she slept, if need be. However, she decided to flip through the book for now. Even though she had to flip back to look up words now and then, the book was fascinating. However, some of it was unbelievable.

Fairies are envied for their ability to do wandless magic. While there are no male fairies, males whose mothers have fairy blood may learn wandless magic if they are also good of heart. This, however, is very rare.

Lily read on, engrossed in the book, until someone tapped her on the shoulder. She jumped into the air and landed on the floor.

"Ouch! Hey!" she protested, turning around and glancing at whomever had poked her. In this case, it was Runa.

"You missed dinner, Lils. Are you all right?" Runa asked.

"Sure, Runes. I just was caught up in reading."

"'Five Hundred and One Ways to Magically Preserve Herbs'? Lily, why are you reading that? Even you don't study that much," Runa protested. "At least not that," she added.

"It's fascinating, really it is," Lily insisted. Her stomach growled. "Did I really miss dinner?" she asked.

"That and a prefects meeting," Runa replied. Lily groaned.

"Oh, no. I've never, ever done that," she moaned. "What kind of head girl am I?"

"Oh, forget it, Lily. At least you didn't miss a class. James covered for you and said that you had a headache. No one missed you, except for Brenna and the other Gryffindor prefect. You wouldn't believe it—Bren says that James managed to give out all of the information." She lowered her voice. "Let's go to your room," she suggested.

"All right," Lily sighed, allowing Runa to pull her from the cozy chair and drag her to the room.

"Cocoa," Lily whispered to open the door. Runa dragged her inside, where the rest of the girls had assembled.

"Now, are you really all right after last night?" Lily shrugged.

"What happened last night? Why wouldn't I be all right?"

"You fainted—twice, we think," Hermione informed her. "Of course, it's the Marauders' fault. The cretins gave us animagi potion to drink as a dare, and for some reason it didn't sit well with you and you passed out. Then, you disappeared into the Forbidden Forest, where James and the rest of the Marauders found you asleep."

"So, that wasn't a dream?" Lily asked.

"No. We've been practicing our forms," she added, transforming into a large, fluffy cat.

"Just think about being a phoenix, and pop! You'll be one," Brenna added, transforming into her horse form.

"Come on, Lily, try it!" Lily nodded and concentrated. This time, she had no trouble becoming a phoenix.

"Maybe we should practice outside tonight," Runa suggested. Ginny, however, had found Lily's book.

"Honestly! 'Five Hundred and One Ways to Magically Preserve Herbs'—what a horrible-sounding book. I can't believe you were reading this!" Ginny raged. "Lily Evans, you need to get your head checked." Lily groaned. You don't even know half of it, she mentally replied before starting a detailed explanation of why she was reading the book.

Brenna turned on her small radio, which only operated with Morse code, to listen for her ham radio friend, G3ZGM. They had never used names, but she always enjoyed talking to him. Well, she figured that he was a guy by the things he said sometimes, but she didn't even know what house he was in at Hogwarts.

G4HWB de G3ZGM. Are you there? Brenna keyed.

This is G3ZGM. Yes. How are you?

Fine, and you?She responded, although she wasn't sure whether or not she was doing all right. First Lily had fainted twice, and now she was acting strangely. Lily hated Herbology classes.

As good as can be expected.

What's wrong?

Nothing you need to worry about. Are you sure you are fine? Brenna scowled at the last comment; males were so… self sufficient, and yet inwardly vulnerable. And yet, he could be so sweet for a guy. She knew who she wished he was, but also that this would be the least likely thing in the world.

A friend is acting strangely. Other than that, I suppose I am all right.

Hang in there. Things will get better.

I hope so. I have a question.

Ask away. I'll try to answer. Brenna barely kept her hands from shaking with nerves as she keyed her question.

What is your name? She waited impatiently; there was no reply after thirty seconds.

Are you there?

Yes. I am just not ready to tell you. I'm sorry. Brenna sighed, disappointed but strangely relieved. After all, she, too, could maintain anonymity.

No problem.

I am in Gryffindor. This response came quickly- very quickly. Could I actually know him? She thought to herself.

Me too. Perhaps we know each other.

We do here at least.

I suppose. Do you have a date for the Vday ball?

Trying to get up the nerve to ask someone.

Someone special?

Yes, she is great. What is your favorite color?

Blue. You?

The same.

What do you think of the pranks going on lately? Again, there was a long pause until G3ZGM transmitted again.

Amusing. What is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the start of every and the end of every place? Brenna laughed as she copied the long transmission.

E and it would be harder if you asked someone in person.

You are a worthy conversationalist.

Must you use big words when communicating via CW?

Sorry. Maybe I should be in Ravenclaw.

Maybe I should defenestrate you. She smiled; it would be hard to do that since she didn't know his identity. Of course, she could look it up, but that was rather difficult. (AN: no internet, that's why).

Look who's talking. G3ZGM de G4HWB.

Hey low battery pwr- need to go. 73 G4HWB Clear on your final.

Talk to you later. 73 G3ZGM clear.

Brenna smiled; talking with G3ZGM always cheered her up, especially when she had been thinking about Remus. She wished she knew who he was; perhaps he would help her get over her pointless crush… or was it a crush?

For now, though, she had to find Lily and ask for help on her Charms homework. She had procrastinated for far too long. Then again, she had done the other assignments right after she received them, so why not procrastinate for once? Only cats had seven lives, after all.

Marianela flipped through the channels on her Muggle television irritatedly, listening only to snatches of each show and movie.

"But, Marcus, I looove you!" An overly dramatic, scantily-clad blonde cried. Click

"Yooou are doomed!" A voice boomed. The monster was green and slimy-looking, its huge jaws open as it cornered its prey.

"Ugh," she muttered. Click

"You ain't got no place in my heart!"

"Country—ugh! They have even worse grammar than I do, and English is my fourth language!" Marianela groaned. Click

"But I got trampled by a hare and eaten by a bear, oh won't you dance with me?" Bluegrass! How can you dance when you've been eaten? She thought, irritated. Click

"L'amour, c'est la vie!" Another scantily-clad blonde was fainting on a couch. I hate cheesy romances! Especially in French! Click

"Yeeee---haaaaaaaaw!" With one last click, she turned the television off.

"Honestly," she raged. "Who would watch this stuff?" She sighed and took out her dancing shoes. She was lucky that her former fiance couldn't dance, which her family had considered a fiasco; now she could take relief in it without thoughts of that pompous jerk she had imagined herself in love with—not that she had had much choice, since the marriage had been arranged. She placed a record into her magical record player and started dancing to the Spanish music. Ahh, this is contentment, she thought when a slower song started.

In the middle of the song, Yellow Submarine blasted down the hallway.

"¡Ay¡Yo la aborrezco esa canción!" Marianela shouted as she burst out of her room. "¿Quién está tocando esa canción?"

"What did you say?" asked a hapless first year as he turned down his music. "I was j-just playing the Beatles," he added. There were rumors that this Spanish foreign exchange student was sent to England to recover her sanity, which made him nervous.

"I hate that song," Marianela informed him, this time using the right language. "If I ever hear that repetitive, ridiculous song about los drogas or anything like it again, I will personally break your record."

"Y-yes ma'am," he mumbled, turning his record player off. "What are you doing here, though? Aren't you in Ravenclaw?" he added before thinking. She glared at him. He flinched.

"JUST DON'T PLAY THAT HORRID MUSIC!" She yelled before turning around and running back to her room. "Ugh," she muttered. "I hate that song." She turned on some Spanish guitar music to get rid of the repetitive lyrics in her head.

"Lily, wake up," Ginny ordered, pulling her blankets away. She had already spent ten minutes attempting to arouse Lily to no avail.

"Mnnn," Lily mumbled, rubbing her eyes. "What did you do that for?" She asked groggily.

"I couldn't wake you up," Ginny responded. "Did you get any sleep at all last night? You even went to sleep early." Indeed, Lily looked as if she had not slept at all last night. She had dark circles under her eyes and stared vacantly into space.

"I slept. I, uh, had a lot of interesting dreams." She had used the incantation to learn the book's contents by osmosis overnight, which had not allowed her body to actually rest.

"Really? What were they about?" Hermione asked as she packed up her books.

"I—can't remember," Lily mumbled, too tired to think of a story. "Different things. Magical things."

"Well, now that you are awake," Hermione said in a businesslike manner, "We can go down to breakfast. Marianela went to the Room of Requirement to practice flamenco—she said she was interrupted by someone else's music, and to meet her there."

"All right," Lily replied, walking toward the door.

"Wait! You might want to change into robes first," Ginny protested, grabbing Lily by the arms.

"Right," she muttered. "I hate coffee, but I think I need caffeine," she yawned. Hermione nodded understandingly, but Ginny just gave her a blank look before throwing a robe over Lily's pajamas.

"Time to go," Hermione announced. "I'm starving."

As the girls walked down the hallway towards breakfast, the Marauders and company were waiting behind a corner for them.

"When are they coming?" Remus grumbled.

"Soon, Moony. They're girls, remember? They have to fix their hair," Sirius reminded him.

"I'm getting a little worried about you, Remus," James commented. "You seem a bit obsessed with this. Did you even sleep last night?" Remus shook his head.

"Here they come," Ron whispered.

"Three—two—one—go!" Remus counted down before they all said the hex in unison. Each of the girls found themselves bright purple and covered in green warts. Ginny was the quickest to react; Ron and Harry found themselves under the jelly legs jinx before they could even sneeze at the dust in the hallway. Runa also was furious and put half a dozen hexes on Sirius. Marianela shot random hexes at the Marauders before dragging a stunned Brenna to the bathroom. Hermione was screaming at the pranksters at the top of her lungs. Lily, however, had turned green under the hex and was vomiting.

"Are you okay, Lils?" James asked, worried. "Moony, I told you this was too soon after she—you know." Remus grumbled something about his unmentionables.

"OH FOR GOODNESS SAKE! GIVE US THE COUNTERCURSE, AT LEAST FOR LILY!" Hermione screamed. "CAN'T YOU SEE SHE'S SICK!"

"I'm the only one involved in the last prank anyway," Ginny added, glaring at them. "You deserved it, too, after stealing my diary. Lupin, I can't believe this from you. And to think you become a professor," she spat out. "Silencio," she added with a flick of the wand toward Remus, who started talking again but could not make a sound.

Lily was turning increasingly green. Now that there was nothing more to throw up, her stomach merely retched painfully. She felt strangely light-headed.

"We've got to get her to Madame Waxley, you prats!" Runa snapped.

"Right," James mumbled. "Sorry, Lily. I didn't know—"

"Just use the counter-curse and get her there before she passes out," Brenna growled, having returned with Marianela. James jumped into action, immediately muttering the counter-curse. She stopped retching and returned to her normal color.

"Thanksh, guysh," Lily muttered, grinning oddly, then walking into the wall. "Where'sh the door?" she slurred.

"Lily, are you all right?" James worried. "You're acting drunk. You need some breakfast."

"We don't have time, thanks to you!" Brenna glared at the Marauders. "I should take away points—Lily is not herself." She pointed her wand at the floor to clean it up. "Scourgify!"

"Look, we're sorry Lily is sick. That shouldn't have happened. I don't know what's up with Evans lately," Sirius snapped. Ron and Harry groaned, trying to get up with the jelly legs jinx.

"Removeo," Runa muttered as she flicked her wand. "Let's get to class, ladies and gits." She shook her hair, the only thing that wasn't purple and covered with warts, and stomped down the hallway toward the dungeon. Brenna and Hermione each held one of Lily's arms and guided her as she sang drunkenly.

"Do you think we should take her to Madame Waxley's?" Hermione asked.

"Nah, let's try this first. Soberus!" Nothing happened.

"You haven't been drinking, have you, Lily?" Hermione worried.

"No, of courshe not!" Lily snorted. "Jusht been reading all night."

"I thought you were asleep," Ginny protested.

"Lily, you shouldn't be—"

"Sherioushly—shleeping, reading, no big differenshe with that shpell."

"That's it!" Hermione growled. "You're going to Madame Waxley."

"Waxshley? Why? I'm perfectly fine. It'sh jusht that the room'sh shpinning a bit. Shplendid! I'm not shick at all."

"Lily, they're right," James interjected.

"Jameshie, you need to leave me alone. I can take care of myshelf. All of you!" she added, trying to point at them with the arm that Hermione held, but failing miserably. Instead her body lurched forward, prevented from falling facedown to the floor by Hermione and Ginny's grasp.

"You get to class," James suggested. "I'll take Lily to Waxley."

"Jamesh, my hero," Lily slurred as he picked her up.

"One more thing," Hermione called. "Tell us the counter hex!"

"But you look so wonderful in purple," he teased before walking the other direction.

Translations:
"L'amour, c'est la vie!"- Love, that's life. If that's incorrect, sorry- I don't take French.

¡Ay¡Yo la aborrezco esa canción!- I hate that song!

¿Quién está tocando esa canción?- Who is playing that song?

Los drogas- drugs

So, what did you think? I think I'm too sleep deprived to care about much… although reviews would be nice -

Hmm… hints for those who don't want to flirt with random strangers: don't tell them that you wish to throw something at them. If they're really idiotic (they usually are), that intrigues them. I don't quite understand this matter myself, but evidently this happens. +Shrugs+

Well, I see covers and a pillow, and books. Ah, sleep! What a luxury!

Best wishes from

Auramistealia

Advocating sudden, unexplainable electricity problems that shut down our high schools (but not in whole counties, etc. so that we don't have to make up days!) and less homework!
Also strongly advocating the utter destruction of the movie Koyaanisqatsi.
: ) May that day be soon!