Chapter 13:
Adventures In Halfa-Sitting

"Storm the castle! Poach the eggs! Hire a new maid!" Danny shouted, standing on the Foleys' living room couch, brandishing a sword he'd made with his ice powers. The boy was as delusional as ever, but, like his clone, had finally gotten his nap out. Now, he was delusional and hyper. Joy.

"No, Danny! We're playing pirates, not knights!" Ellie shouted. She was now in her ghost form. Her (apparently, transformation-proof) fairy costume still in place, but with an eye-patch added.

"Hoist the mainstay!" The tiny eleventh-grader shouted, throwing his pirate hat into the air. "Fire on the poop deck!" Tucker was so glad his parents weren't home. His mom was still out with Aunt Macy, and his dad had to work late.

*Crash*

A (thankfully, non-broken) floor lamp landed on its side, as Danny jumped off the couch. He changed to his human form as he tumbled across the floor, dodging Ellie's 'cannonballs' (pillows). Tucker was just glad they weren't using their powers, too much. Danny's sword was the worst thing they'd done, ghost-wise.

The techno-geek looked at the clock. It was already 6:30. His mom would be home in an hour. Hopefully, it would be long enough to get the Terrible Two settled down, and their mess cleaned up.

Ellie jumped up on the arm of a chair, as the ghost-boy rolled to a crouch, nearby. They clashed sword-to-broomstick with each other, staring into each other's eyes for a few overly-dramatic moments. Then, Ellie leaned in and whispered something to the older Phantom.

The delusional halfa grinned a grin Tucker hoped he would never grin, again.

Danny backed off with his sword, and his clone dived off the chair, rolling to stand in front of the ill-prepared babysitter. She brandished her broomstick-sword against his throat,and he raised his hands, out of instinct. "You are now my prisoner," The little girl announced, grinning mercilessly. Tucker tried to back away, but his best friend suddenly appeared (Or, rather, reappeared. He'd been invisible.) behind him, his sword poking into his back.

The nerdy boy sighed. He knew better than to fight against them. He'd learned, hours ago, that it was best to just play along. "Yes, oh, great pirate-princess Ellie. I am your slave. Forever bound by the laws of the unicorns," He deadpanned, trying hard not to roll his eyes. He'd learned better than that, too.

"Eureka!" Ellie shouted, pointing her 'sword' at the ceiling, triumphantly.

"Let them eat cake!" Danny shouted, doing the same. With his other hand, he blasted Tucker half-way across the room. The ecto-beam didn't really hurt, but it quickly morphed into rope, tying the tech-loving teen up. Tucker hadn't even known Danny could do that. He laid on the floor, trussed up like a Christmas turkey, seriously re-thinking his life-choices.

He was going to kill them. How could they leave him alone, to care for two sick halfas, for over two hours? They said Danny was delusional, but he wondered if they'd ever even met Ellie. He was pretty sure 'delusional' was her default setting.

He now sat, still tied up, in a make-shift ice cage, (courtesy of Danny,) in the attic. He had no idea where the little mastermind had gone, but he had a feeling she wasn't taking a nap. "Come on, bro. Just, let me out. Please," He begged his best friend, who now stood guard over him, in ghost-form.

"No talking, without the princess's permission, Robo-Panda!"

||'Robo-Panda',|| He thought, dispassionately, nearly knocking his head against the bars. But, as far as delusional nicknames went, at least he hadn't gotten the worst one. It was still better than 'Turkey Leg', and it sounded kinda like a movie title.

He looked at his friend, who was now enthralled by an incredibly-interesting dust mote, floating around the room. If Tucker had to guess, based solely on the half-ghost's expression, he would say the dust mote was probably talking to him. He had no idea what Ellie had said to make Danny not only join her pirate crew, but turn on his best friend, but it had worked like a charm.

Actually, she probably hadn't had to say anything. She probably just babbled off a list of unconnected words, and let Danny fill in the gaps.

||Okay, then. If Ellie's going to use Danny's delusions to her advantage, why shouldn't I do the same?|| He wriggled a semi-free hand into the pocket that held his PDA, leaning so he could see the screen, without Danny noticing. (Not that there was much chance of the sick halfa noticing anything, at the moment.) He pulled up one of those old, virtual ping-pong games, hoping it would be enough to keep his friend busy.

"...I'm not talking," He finally replied. Danny looked at him, confused eyes widening, as he abandoned the dust mote. "I'm using telepathy. It only looks like I'm talking, because, otherwise... the mosquitoes wouldn't like it. So, this is, totally, still within the rules." The elder halfa just stared at him a moment, before nodding, seeming to understand this very important piece of information.

||Good. Because, I sure don't,|| Tucker thought, glancing at the clock.

||Forty-five minutes to get these two settled down, and their mess cleaned up.|| Ellie had been somewhat-cooperative, earlier. That Ellie had vaporized and been replaced by a sparkly, rainbow demon. Danny was his last chance. He didn't like tricking his best friend, but this was an emergency, and he would thank him, later.

After Tucker showed him the video.

"So, as a wielder of technological magic," He started, dramatically, brandishing his PDA as best he could against the glowing, green restraints. The half-ghost stood from a crouch, where he'd been watching the dust fly around, walking towards him. Tucker really hoped he wasn't going to regret this. "I grant you, Sir Daniel James Fenton-Phantom, the right to hold Janet. Do you accept this great honor?" The halfa stared at the tiny computer, as though it were a great gemstone.

"Caramel puppy-dogs?" He asked, weakly, sounding every bit like a sick four-year-old, who just wanted his mommy.

"Absolutely," His friend answered, with a straight face. "But, in order to partake in this incredible mission, of terrible importance, you must release me. So we can... lobster, anomaly, bankrupt, pork rinds?" He started off well enough, but the ending tapered into an embarrassingly-high-pitched question. Nevertheless, the ropes disappeared and the cage poofed into snow, falling down around him. The halfa took the digital device from Tucker's hand, reverentially, and plopped down in the floor, playing the video game, as if it were his entire world. His eyes were wide, and a string of drool slipped down the side of his face.

||If he does any sort of damage to that PDA, Sam is going to get me a new one. The latest model, too,|| He thought, bitterly. His eyes narrowed, as he turned to glare at the attic door, unsure of what nightmares awaited him on the other side.

||Now, to take care of the little one.||

Sam and Jazz got to Tucker's at fifteen-to-seven, to find Danny sitting on the couch, drooling (literally) over a video game. Next to him, Ellie was sprawled out, one arm dangling off the couch's edge, sound asleep. Both wore sparkly tutus. Ellie had a tiara, an eye-patch, and stripey socks, while Danny sported a pirate hat, a bandana around his neck, and had what looked like beads and macaroni glued in his hair. (Along with the gum from the day before.)

Stepping further inside, they found Tucker, in the kitchen.

Wearing an apron.

And, a tiara of his own.

Doing the dishes.

The two teenaged girls turned and tried to sneak back out, quietly. "Hold it, right, there, you two!" He whisper-yelled, careful not to stir up either of the Phantom Firecrackers. He tore the apron off, wadding it up in his hand, putting his fists on his hips. "I cook! I clean! I watch the halfas! Do you have any idea how much Ellie can eat!? I'm gonna have to go get more groceries! And, all the while, you two are out, half the night, playing with your ghost friends! What about my needs!?"

They could tell the boy was stressed.

"We're sorry we were out so late," Jazz said, taking full control of the situation, in her 'psychologist-voice', as Danny called it. She took the apron from Tucker, hanging it on its hook, then put her hands on the boy's shoulders, guiding him to one of the living room chairs. "We should have been more considerate, but we didn't know they would be that much trouble, for you. Now, you just rest here, while Sam and I take care of the rest of the work."

The goth girl looked like she was about to protest, but a look from Jazz silenced her. "Yeah," She sighed. "What time will your folks be home?"

Tucker looked at the clock. "Sometime within the next fifteen minutes," He deadpanned, then paled, realizing what he'd just said. He jumped from the chair. "Fifteen minutes!?" The two older girls shushed him, gesturing to the Horrible Halfas. He turned to see Ellie stirring in her sleep, and Danny watching them, with a creepy intensity. The blue-eyed boy raised his hand, slowly and eerily, pointing at his sister. And, for a moment, he looked absolutely terrifying.

"Turkey Leg ate my socks." Then it was gone.

"Why did you eat his socks?"

"I didn't eat his socks!"

"SHHHH!" The two younger teens tried to quiet the redhead, frantically. The three watched in horror as the little girl on the couch stretched and sat up, blinking sleepily at them, before laying back down the other direction and snuggling into Danny's side. They watched for a moment longer, before releasing the breaths they hadn't realized they'd been holding.

"Guys, my parents think I'm sick, in bed! What are they going to do, if they find the house a wreck, and all of us hanging out together!? They'll know I ditched!" Tucker whisper-screamed.

"Okay. First off, the house really doesn't look that bad... Man, you did a really good job," Jazz said, looking around.

"You haven't seen the attic."

AN: Merry Christmas Eve, everybody! :)

Just a little present that I hope will bring you a smile, today :) And, I'll be back, tomorrow, with a longer chapter, so stay tuned :))

As always,
God bless, and I hope you enjoyed! :)
- Ellie