Dedication: Yasmin, for taking me to see Dirty Dancing in the West End. I had the Time of My Life :D
Also for my English/debating/cookery teacher. When I call, you answer. When I shake my head, you stop. Most importantly when I wave, you wave back… and because "you like me."
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the measly plot; the rest is down to J.K Rowling of course.
Reviews, I love them. They make my day! So give me a shout, tell me what you think.
Chapter 14:
Oh. My. God. Lily Evans was about to kiss me and I KILLED IT!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Don't answer that brain.
Oh back to the conversation.
Lily's face is steadily going white and she looks uncomfortable, "no no no! You can't back out, a deal is a deal and we had a deal. You promised, so you have to tell me," I press her.
"Well it's not that simple anymore James, I don't think you'll like what you're trying to make me say. I would have gladly told you last week but you can't understand…" she trailed off.
"A deal is a deal, Blossom, and a Marauder never goes back on his word," I gave her a wink, "and plus, if you don't tell me I might have to go back to asking you out every second second," I was teasing but she did not seem amused.
"I don't… okay – I'll tell you. You won't like it though," I could tell she was uncomfortable but I was not about to let her off this one. She was doing typical awkward-Lily body-language: fidgeting, twiddling thumbs, brushing back her hair every second (yeah that's how well I know Lily – I've studied her every move for too long).
"Well, don't keep me waiting," I encourage her, smiling that massive cheesy grin that annoyed (note the past tense) her so much.
She takes a breath, and I can tell she is psyching herself up for what she's about to say, "the thing is James, a few months ago – if this had happened I would have just made up some story about my transfiguration homework or something. I dunno, I can't lie to you though, not now. And not about this."
"Okay, c'mon, I'm interested now. It must have been serious if it's got you this messed up."
"McGonagall told me that when she was in seventh year she was Head Girl," Lily gushed out all at once. I didn't interrupt – I didn't want to get her back up, and I could tell she had more to say, "and Head Boy that year was… well it was… it was your grandfather – Bill Potter."
"Yeah, I know that. He was so proud, y'know when I got Head Boy. That was the happiest I've ever seen him," my eyes tear up for a second and I feel embarrassed. I remember what we are talking about and ask, "but what does that have to do with anything?"
"Well at the time, I didn't know that your grandfather was Head Boy with McGonagall – hence why I was cool with telling you before. Well, McGonagall was giving me the lecture, "Head Boy and Girl being a couple can be a disaster or a blessing… blah blah blah… I'm glad yourself and Mr Potter aren't at loggerheads but that doesn't mean I think this is necessarily a good idea…blah blah blah" and then…" she trailed off, "well she started talking about when she was Head Girl. She said… she said," Bloss took a deep breath, "well she said that she was in a relationship with Head Boy of the time."
I freeze… in horror. I mean, how often do you find out that your Head of House used to, well used to… bang with your grandfather?! I don't know what I was expecting but it was not that. I'm aware my mouth is hanging open in horror and I try to summon the energy to close it. Attempt failed.
"I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't have said anything. Well to finish the story, she told me that nearing the end of the year they broke up. It was quite amicable, but it was painful for both of them – she said, it was never quite the same, the friendship they had before – it wasn't the same. So she warned me. That's all that happened," I see her look at me in earnest, "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said anything, especially not so soon after… well what happened last week."
I look at her, and I try to make my jaw work, after the third attempt I manage to spit out, "no that's okay, I pressed you to find out. Anyway I knew they were close, it's just a tad freaky to think about what your grandfather got up to with your Head of House," I smile, that big, goofy smile and we both crack up.
"Eeeewwwwww," she says, and I don't know why but for no reason whatsoever it all just catches up with me.
I'm never going to see my Pop again, and You-Know-Who's closing the net tighter and tighter around my family. My parents came within a millimetre of death…
I'm not the type who cries but all of a sudden I feel the tears – the tears of sadness, frustration and terror – finally come spilling over.
And she's there, as always. The fiery-haired angel, she wraps her arms around me and she cries too. She can tell what I'm thinking, she knows what I'm feeling. She thinks and feels it too. No words are necessary. I feel her warmth and love pour into me, and she receives mine back.
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Lily's POVI'm running down the hallway, Professor McGonagall would kill me if she knew. It's half past eight and that means I'm half an hour late for the girl's night in we've had planned for a week. I have a feeling Alice is going to murder me.
I could hardly leave James alone though could I? I mean that would be cruel… he needed me. I rub my eyes hoping they don't look red and puffy, the last thing I need is the girls realising I've been crying. I come to a halt outside the familiar painting of the Fat Lady. I call out, "Philip Pirrup!" Dumbledore's got this new obsession with Charles Dickens and all the passwords are Dickens-related.
The portrait swings forward and I scramble through the hole – seven years later and I still can't do it smoothly. I run across the common room, dodging flying quills and parchment, and up the stone steps to the girls' dormitory. I turn the door handle and shove the door open, it bangs against the wall. I stumble through the doorway – out of breath (I should work on my fitness) and crash onto the floor with, "I'm sooo sorry I'm late, I got held up!"
I see Alice's face and I know I'm in for it. For one thing she's holding a bottle of firewhisky – half empty (or half full if you're optimistic which at this point I'm not) and drunk+Alice not good. She looks like me, and for a moment I think she may just be sober – but alas, I should be so lucky. The thing about Alice is, her speech is not affected by alcohol but her body is. She gets up from the floor and stumbles over her own feet.
"Got held up!" she says in a shrill voice, "did it have anything to do with James or the Marauders by any chance?" she takes another swig from the firewhisky bottle, downing at least a third of what was left.
I sigh, and look at my feet. As far as I can see, I have two options:
Lie. Say I was doing Prefects duty with Remus or something – but I have a feeling this just won't cut it.
Tell the truth, say I was with James. Tell them his grandfather died last week and he needed me. However, I feel like that is James' private, family stuff – I wouldn't feel right telling people about it. It's his story to tell.
Say I was with James, but offer no explanation and get MURDERED.
Ooooohh. What to choose? The fact is I can't really be bothered, not after the day I've had. I shouldn't have to justify my actions to my friends. So I simply say, "yes, Alice, I've been with James. I'm sorry I'm late but I got caught up."
Alice snorts and replies with disdain, "it seems like you're always "caught up" these days. You don't have time for anybody except yourself," she pauses, "oh and James and Sirius and Remus. We're supposed to be your friends but we don't matter anymore."
"That's not true," I object, "how dare you insinuate that I would ditch my friends for the Marauders of all people!"
"Well how would you describe the last few weeks then?" Alice retorts.
Marlene steps in, "Stop it – both of you! Alice lay off, I don't think Lily would be deliberately late, I'm sure she has her reasons. And Lils – you've got to at least partially understand where Alice is coming from?"
"I do get where Alice is coming from – but you're right, I have my reasons for being late tonight. However, I don't feel it is my place to disclose information regarding issues personal to James. I understand that you feel that I've been neglecting you – especially this last week – I've felt weird too, not spending time with all of you. But you have to understand that I have a lot of responsibility, I've got my heads' duties and homework and stuff going on at home and on top of all that I have James to look after!" I pause for breath.
"I know you have a lot going on Lils, I do," Alice softens - the booze is wearing off, "but we're your friends! You should come to us when you have problems – not go running to Potter (who incidentally you swore to loathe for all eternity) and his chums."
"I get what you're saying, and I'm sorry. I want to spend more time with you – honestly I do, and I will in the near future – but I have so much going on. I know I won't be winning any awards for this week's best best friend but I'm trying. I am – I just wish you would tell me what's going on with you."
Alice stiffens, I know I am not properly forgiven but I do not want to push things. "Me?" she questions – immediately getting on the defensive, "why would there be something going on with me? What's being said?" she pours out.
"No one has said anything, I'm your best friend though, I do notice (even if I am a bit late) when you start acting weirdly."
"Acting weirdly," Alice questions, "In what way am I acting weirdly?"
I laugh, softly, "firstly – you drink half a bottle of firewhisky in the space of half an hour, coming from the girl who is wary of even ordering a butterbeer from the Three Broomsticks. Secondly, the Alice I know wouldn't attack me the minute I'm through the door – shouting at me. She'd sit down and have a nice rational conversation about my lack of friendly behaviour," I give her a hard look and conclude, "and finally – if you were yourself you would not be wearing odd socks!"
She laughs, I know her too well. I had noticed, I just had not had a chance to confront her about her odd behaviour. She'd been acting slightly strangely all week – it was really starting to bug me, not knowing what was going on.
"I guess you got me pegged," she sighs.
"I guess I do," I reply, "I wouldn't be a great mate if I didn't."
She snorts, "hhhmmmm, this doesn't mean I forgive you," she reassures me.
"I know," I say, "but will you please find it in your heart to tell me what's going on?"
"She won't tell you," Marlene puts in, "we've been trying to get it out of her all week. She's standing firm – for the first time ever," Marlene says this last part under her breath.
"Oh come on! I told you about James, you have to tell me what's going on," I plead.
"Don't bring James into this," she says her eyes narrowing dangerously. I'm a slightly shocked by her reaction, it does not seem like her.
"Okay," I respond, not sure what else to say to that, "tell me? Please, you can't just keep it from me."
"Can't I?" she says, her eyebrows arching mockingly. After a long pause (and a lot of staring) she says, "Okay, I'll tell you," I smile, I didn't think she could hold out for long, "but only if you tell me what's going on with James?" she finishes. My mouth drops open in horror, I'm reminded of James' similar reaction to my story about McGonagall's relationship with his father. She smiles, she's got me. It's not like Alice to make demands, we've been friends since we first started sharing a dorm in First Year and I've never been in a full-blown fight with her. She's always been the neutral one, never on anybody's side, always just wanting peace and happiness. She was the one who stopped me killing James everyday.
She knows what she is demanding is not fair, she is trying to establish who comes first: herself and our friends or… or – James. I don't even need to think about the answer. I know instinctively what I will or will not say. For no other reason other than it is wrong to give out personal information about others.
I will not tell.
A/N: This is supposed to represent Lily's growing empathy and sensitivity towards James. She doesn't realise what is happening and she genuinely thinks they are just friends blah blah blah.
So will Alice tell? And will their friendship be the same as always or have the Marauders come between them?
Please review, feedback is greatly appreciated. And… it's my birthday so it's mean not to! I just spent some of my birthday finishing this for you so press the purple button! NOW! lol
Fifi
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