Some people might have found it hard to believe that Sirius Black had ever been personally acquainted with the concept of human emotion. It was by design, really. He'd protected himself by a front of carelessness and rebellion. It worked. He was safe behind his mask. But that didn't mean it was who he really wanted to be.
The gift of clarity about who he really wanted to be came packaged in a frankly atrocious giftwrap of war and blindness. But he knew, he wanted to be the person who everyone important seemed to believe he already was. It was a strangely freeing realization to have as Marlene clung to him sobbing after committing an act of valor that Sirius would probably still be in awe of if he lived to be 100. If he could be the man Marlene went to for comfort, the brother who James had come back to alive, and the cousin who Andromeda burst into a quarantine ward for, but for another 76 years or so, he would have succeeded in everything he ever really wanted.
He turned his head slightly towards the little spitfire in his arms. He'd never thought he'd kiss the top of a war hero's head, but he lucked into the opportunity. He felt an errant curl, that must have escaped from her veil, tickle his nose. He hadn't known that he was capable of loving someone so completely. He must've lucked into that as well. The smile that took hold on his face felt poorly timed but he couldn't stop thinking about how damned lucky he was. He didn't even care if he never regained his sight. He'd still be lucky to be the blind wanker who got to love Marlene McKinnon.
"Marlene… I've never seen anything like what you did. I mean… I still haven't, but…" He smirked at his own joke
"Really? A blindness pun? Now?" He could hear the beginnings of a smile. How was it possible to know someone is radiantly beautiful without the benefit of sight? He didn't even understand it himself but he knew.
"You know me well enough by now to know there is no bad time for a blindness pun. And I know you well enough to know that you're bloody incredible. I don't think I have the words for this…" He pulled her closer, that seemed to he all he could do. He wanted desperately to put his lips to her's. To show her how impressed he really was, how he really felt about her, but he knew she wouldn't thank him for making more of a spectacle than they already were as he held her on his cot.
"So, you're so impressed that you just had to make a pun?" Ah, she was laughing now. That was good, she needed more laughter, specifically laughter caused by his awfully good puns.
"I guess that's one way to interpret that. Yes. I hope you like puns because I'm never going to stop being impressed with you."
It occurred to Sirius, that not since the Napoleonic Wars had there been a Frenchman on British soil as unwelcome as the five present in the room at that moment. He sighed in resignation. Someday he'd get the opportunity to kiss the skin on her neck and run his hands over her soft curves and…
"It's not their fault, Sirius." She sighed and pulled her head from his shoulder. "Besides. It's time for me to go back to work."
"Was I thinking that loudly?"
"Yes." She ran a hand along his very scruffy face. He hoped she wasn't terribly fond of his beard; they'd make him shave it off once he could see. "Subtlety is not your strong suit, Captain Black."
She was right. He was very conspicuously arse over elbow in love. But there were worse things to be. It was nearly painful to feel her pull away from him.
"I'll miss you." tumbled out of his mouth before he could think the comment through. But it was true, and she may as well hear him say it.
"Not like I'll miss you." There was a sadness to her voice. He wasn't sure what it meant or if she was just exhausted to the bone. She squeezed his hand one last time and then she was gone.
The day still felt like half a dream. He hadn't been paying close mind to who came and went since Marlene had left. So he was somewhat taken aback when a small childish voice called out for his attention.
"Cousin Sirius! Mummy says you look like a vagrant. But I think you look rather happier than a vagrant."
"Thank you for that, Cousin Dora." Sirius laughed as the little girl threw herself across him in a rather dramatic hug. "Did you bring your mummy with you or wander up here by yourself?"
"Well I must say it's easier getting in now. They may have tried to offer me a job? I couldn't quite make out what the man was saying. He was excessively Northern, you know. He may have been asking for gardening advice? It's hard to say. Anyhow, he seemed glad that I was here." He heard Andromeda take a seat in the chair near his cot. He wondered if that chair was more comfortable than the one in the last room he was in. Not that Marlene bothered to sit in this new chair when she came to see him.
"I'm glad you're here too, Dromsy. But who on earth would look at you and ask for gardening advice?"
"I could garden if I wanted." Sirius could perfectly picture Droms pulling herself erect and her looking down his nose at him. He loved making her do that. "I've walked in many a garden in my day. The gardens here are lovely, actually. Do you fancy a walk in them?"
"If you lead me round like a seeing eye dog, that sounds brilliant." He envied the patients that could walk about the gardens. The night nurse had had a moment to walk him around the hospital once because most of the patients were asleep, but Marlene was still running faster than a road runner, and it wasn't really worth walking around without her.
"I can be a seeing eye dog Cousin Sirius!" Dora's chirpy little voice, and her enthusiasm about a rather unglamorous sounding task, amused Sirius greatly. She was a good kid. When he stood up he felt her tiny hand take hold of his and start pulling. He followed his seeing eye cousin happily, and heard the click of Andromeda's beside him.
He was immediately struck by the change in air quality when they made their way out of the doors. Five weeks had been enough for him to become almost used to the smell. The French certainly didn't help matters in that department.
The area where his cousin lead him smelled intensely refreshing. It was also very bright out here and he could… see that? Huh. He could see that.
He'd been able to tell light from dark for a decent stretch of time but this seemed different. It wasn't really like seeing, but there were different colors? Holy shite he could see colors!
"Droms! I can see colors!" He spun to where he thought she was, pulling poor Dora with him.
"What's that now?"
"Colors! I can see that there's grass! And sky! And you're a lovely brownish amorphous blob."
He was practically jumping out of his skin with excitement. He was still unable to see the shape of his own hand in front of his face but this was a massive improvement.
"What color am I Cousin Sirius?" Dora pulled on his hand.
"A beautiful little blob of brown!"
He ruffled little Dora's hair and then threw his arms around Dromsy's shoulders. She wasn't much of a hugger. The family's enforcement of stoicism had stuck to her more than it managed with him. But he liked to think she was at least smiling while she stood rigidly and let herself be hugged.
"I'm glad for you Coz, and I love you, but you just called me an amorphous blob and now you're squeezing me. Please stop?"
He let her loose from his embrace and chuckled. She was exactly what happened when someone is exactly the person they were taught to be, except that they're kind and loving on top of that. She was a proper lady through and through but it hadn't stopped her from marrying Dora's commoner father. He wondered what Ted thought of Dromsy's investment in the importance of fork placement.
That made him think of another matter.
"Droms do you have Grandmother Irma's jewelry? Uncle Alfie kept it. I hadn't thought of it until now, but I do hope my mother didn't get her hands on it."
"You have sudden interest in wearing our late gran's brooches, Baby Coz?"
He could hear her eyebrows raising. It was there in her voice. She had a suspicion, and it wasn't that he'd taken to wearing ladies jewelry. Sirius answered back without missing a beat.
"No, I was thinking of the tiara."
Dora's giggle came exactly on cue. "You'll be positively lovely Cousin Sirius."
"Thank you, Dora. You're such a kind seeing eye dog."
"To answer you question," she cleared her throat, "I don't have it myself but I can make some inquiries if you'd like."
"Thank you Dromsy. You're a gem."
"Yes yes, I know. I'm like the big one in the center of grandmother's tiara."
Was it possible to hear an eye roll? Andromeda Tonks either had a very loud face, or her face was the easiest to hear because he'd grown up with her eyerolls and her smiles that she thought she was hiding.
"You're the one at the center of the queen mums. Honking huge diamond that you can pry from her cold dead hands. That's you to me." He inflicted his cousin with another tight hug and knew that the sigh he heard was hiding a smile.